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my volleyball coach
I play volleyball for my school, and I like it, but I wouldn't say it's my LIFE. I mean, I know it won't be my career or anything, I'm mainly just doing it as a hobby and because it's a good way to make friends. Well, my coach is kind of...religious. Not "kind of" actually, like REALLY religious. I don't normally cuss or anything but she won't let us use any swear words or substitutes for swear words (dang, darn, shoot, etc.) She also is completely against us having boyfriends. On of my friends who was on the team gave her boyfriend a little kiss and my coach saw, and my friend got kicked off. She doesn't allow piercings or tattoos. We can't wear certain things to school even if they aren't against the dress code of our school. Basically, she's just REALLY strict. I mean, I understand that we have to represent our school and stuff and she is a REALLY great coach. Like, the best I've ever had. But I don't really like that some of her rules involve my personal life... For example, I've been thinking about getting a belly button piercing. I've wanted one for a long time, and my mom would let me because she thinks they're cute. But if my coach saw she would totally kick me off :( I've been thinking about quitting lately... I love playing and all my team mates, but it just puts limits on my personal life. I just don't like having to always think "Is this going to get me kicked off?". Well, thanks for reading. Any and all advice is welcome.
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I don't know anything about your school, but it sounds like your volleyball coach is crossing the line. She should only be putting restrictions on your personal life when it affects your volleyball skills (ie, diet.) I think you should talk to your teammates and see if anyone wants to go with you to talk to someone - a guidance counselor, the principal, the athletics director.. It's great that your coach wants to make you into better people, but she shouldn't be imposing her own personal beliefs upon you.
And even if she is allowed to make rules about boyfriends and such (I suppose the swearing is generally disrespectful and bad sportsmanship, and that relationships could take time away from volleyball), she should not be kicking people off the team for having boyfriends. Or at least, that's my opinion. Good luck!
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You might try talking to your principal or vice principal, or someone who supervises this teacher.
What your coach is doing is not really okay when it begins to restrict your personal lives. Restricting your behavior while at school, at practice or at school event is one thing, but restricting piercings or tattoos or even PDAs that are otherwise allowed by the school is a a problem. That's your parents domain, not hers. At the very least, your school admin should be aware of how intense the pressure she is putting on you is.
You might also decide this isn't a fight you want to have, especially if you already know she has the support in this behavior from the school. No matter if it is wrong, if her bosses support her in doing it, there isn't much you can do but live with it, or quit.
It's okay for your coach to have standards for her students, but there could be trouble from parents (and the law, frankly) if she is being too restrictive, especially if it is on religious grounds. Teachers and coaches need to know they don't have a complete carte blanche to enforce their own values on their students. A degree of tolerance for different values is necessary at a public institution.
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Report her to your principal.
I had this same problem pretty much.
just let your coach know that you really like her, she's great and all.
but she doesn't need to be making things that interfere with your personal life.
and asks them to talk to her for you.
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Hey there,
what your caoch is doing is totally unfair and not acceptable.
she shouldnt be able to get away with making up ridiculous rules like that.
she shouldnt be making rules that involve your personal life at all thats none of her business and to threaten to kick you off and to stop you from playing volleyball which a hobby you like doing is ridiculous. shes not going to keep alot of team members with this attitude thats for sure,
id advice to maybe speak to the principal about it?see what he/she might be able to do? if you havnt already,
or maybe see how many of the other team members feel that way and arrange to bring it to her attention explain how you have a lot of respect for her as a coach and her rules but you feel as if some of them are really irelevant and involve your personal life and you feel as if you can't do this or that for fear of getting kicked off even if they have no actual relevance to the sport and don't even affect it,tell her its not fair for her to be making rules according to her own preferances is thats not what coachs are supposed to do.
thats all really I can tell you,just try speak to her yourselves,or the principal or even get some of your parents to hopefully she will realise and change the error of her ways so you can continue playing without it stopping you from doing other things,if nothing changes i strongly advice you quit,you shouldnt have to but its not worth it.
good luck hope i helped
much <3
Jess [15/f]
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