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My mom is putting up a wall between me and every guy.
I'm a 16 year old girl, not allowed to talk to boys, not allowed to have a boyfriend, and not allowed to hang out with guy. It's not that I like a guy and want a boyfriend, because I don't, but I have some guy friends that are strictly friends, but I'm never allowed to hang out with them. I've snuck around and have done it anyway, but I don't like that. My friends that are girls get mad when I always "ditch" them when they're hanging out with guys because I can't. I'm even going to a sleep away chorus camp, and my mom asked me if boys would be there. Of course there will be! Then she said that maybe I shouldn't go. The only guys I've hungout with are gay/pass as gay, and one of them is my neighbor that I've known forever, and she still got mad about that. I can understand why she doesn't like guys. Her sister got pregnant at a young age, and she doesn't trust any guy because of that, but that won't happen to me. I'm really self conscious about my body, so I'd never let a guy see me naked, I would be killed if I got pregnant, I want a future that includes college, and I don't even want kids of my own. I'm planning on adopting. What can I do to convince my mom to let me be friends with guys? I'm going to be a junior in high school and no guy is going to ask me to jr. prom because I'm not even allowed to talk to guys. It happened this year with the sophomore dance, and I just want to have a social life that includes guys.
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You need to start at square one, i know it sucks, but its better then nothing. Tell your mom how you feel. Tell her that you want FRIENDS that are guys and if a guy asks you to the dance/out/official, then you'd talk to here and he would meet your parents. Tell her that you feel like your not being trusted. Tell her that you will only hang out with guys with a group of girls as well, and no one on ones(place to start!) Say that there will be a min. of __ girls if there are any guys. Tell her you can call her everytime guys show up etc. Almost put rules on it. Ask your mom if you can have a FEW guys and A LOT of girls over, she can meet them, and then maybe she'd be more comfortable around them.
Hope I helped, if you need anymore help drop a question in my inbox!
-E
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Firstly I understand how you feel. Listen to this though. Being pregnant at a young age can be a lonely scary thing. That and that alone is the reason why your mom is acting this way.I know a lot of women including myself that got preg. At a young age and its hard. She doesn't want you to have that kind of life because she loves you.so for that much your mom deserves some credit. However I do believe her actions are stunting your social growth.I know you say that you don't like any1 right now, but that will change. You should experience dating so you don't fall for the first crazy that tells you you're pretty. Not saying you're not of course but there are men ready to take advantage of naïve women of all kinds and you need to be prepared for that.But you should experience the good in real love and healthy relationships and how a man should treat you. Also don't give up on kids just quite yet! You have plenty of time to make that decision. Try having a conversation with your mom about trust. You sound like your mom has done a good job with you so far. Its time to convince her of that as well! Oh and no body consciousness! (sp)? You are allowed to love your body just the way it is! I checked!
Much Love!
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Hey there,sorry to hear your mom is like that.
I think your best bet is to sit her down and basicly explain everything that you have here,
tell her how much you hate going behind her back and being FRIENDS with guys doesnt mean your going to get pregnant or anything,you need to have a balance in your life that includes both guys and girls tell your mom that what shes doing to you isnt healthy and its getting you down i mean stopping you from talking to guys is ridiculous shes not helping with your confidence or self estem.
tell her your fears of not being able to go to prom with a guy etc,the idea of not letting you go to chorus camp because of guys being there is stupid shes stopping you from basic life expierences because of guys she cant sheild you from them forever! she has to loosen up and let go,
so my advice is to still her all this exactly calmly tell her that she raised you well and your responsable enough and respect yourself enough to not do anything with a guy.
if talking to her doesnt help,try talking to another family member or friend or friends parent even anyone who could be able to get through to her.
this is probably her way of trying to "protect" you but what she doesnt realise is its doing more damage then good and will have the opposite effect of what she wants which is you rebelling and going behind her back ask her is that what she wants.
good luck,hope I helped in any way and that your mom lightens up.
if she doesnt just talk to guys anyway seriously like you sad you need a social life that includes them shes not gonna know if youve been talking to them at school or not.
much <3
Jess [15/f]
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