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hey :)
okayy so i hung out with my ex and one of my best friends and then we met up with 2 other friends, so it was the 5 of us. it was chill, we talked like friends would talk, nothing serious. he brought up things from the past though like i had my favorite necklace on my mirror in the car and he pointed that out and one of my favorite songs was on the radio so he stopped and let it play saying "oh you love this song" when he doesn't like it. then at the end of the night i didn't feel like getting up so i said to like everyone "can someone give me a piggy back ride to the car" and he gave me one. he's been really chill and i want him back, but i don't want to come on too strong. so my questions are, 1. when should i ask him if he wants to go on vacation with me? (he probably does cause he wants me to teach him how to surf lol) and 2. should i just keep hanging out as his friend or should i hint i still love him? if so, how? thank you soo much..i should seriously be paying you haha.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Consider it a free service from the kindness of my heart :) Lol.
Like I said before, I don't think it's a good idea to go on vacation with him if you two are "just friends."
The fact that he is bringing up things from the past when you guys dated is a good sign though. That means he still thinks about you, and he doesn't have any hard feelings toward your past relationship.
If you are going to ask him to the beach then that's fine, but you have to let him know that you do still have feelings for him. This can't go on like it is, because you are going to end up getting your heart broken. If he is going to go to the beach with you, he needs to be aware that you are still in love with him. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if you didn't tell him.
EDIT: I can't answer a question from the feedback you give me. I have no place to send it to you.
I have told you what I think many times. You should tell him BEFORE you go to the beach. I have told you in past questions that I don't think it's a good idea to go to the beach with him under false pretenses. Apparently you think it's a good idea, and if that's the case then by all means follow your instincts. I have let you know what I think, but obviously we think two different things.
Do what you feel is right if you don't agree with me. :)
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hey there =)
awh its good to see that hes remembering things like this and noticing your necklace and favourite song, its a good sign.
espicially since he gave you the piggy back too it seems like hes starting to think about the idea of how things used to be and maybe getting back to that, id say theres no harm in inviting him to go on vacation say how it will be fun and you can teach him how to surf and ythink itd be better with the company,when are you going on vacation?it depends on the time dont leave it too late to ask like give him a few weeks notice =)
so fairly soon.
definately keep hanging out as his friends anyway because thats the only way things are going to grow more and stuff just leave subtle hints for the time being see if he notices and watch how reacts like flirt alot,touch him and stuff (not sexually obviously lol if you get me.)
if he does it back and gives off signs that he feels the same then you should talk to him about how you really feel if he agrees to go on vacation.
haha its cool,i like being able to help =)
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I don't know if you realize it, but it sounds like right now he is feeling the same way you are, or at the very least, he's open to the possibilities. He is trying to let you know he cares and remembers the songs you like and all that stuff. The thing is this-we girls can't figure out what the heck it is that guys want, but what they really want is to make us laugh, to see that smile he put on your face when he remembered your song, and to "rescue" you by giving you the piggy back. I wouldn't hint you still LOVE him, that's way too much information to throw on him, but I would hint that you like him. You might not even have to hint, I'm sure it's written all over your face. Plus, those "I like you" conversations always get complicated, and that's the last thing you want. So, it's not really so much about saying it, as it is about showing it. The best way to let a guy know you like him without putting him or you on the spot (and you'll make him feel like the MAN in the bargain) is to throw it out there to another person (or group of people)when you are all together. Like when you are all hanging out you could say something like, "no other guy compares to him," or 'believe me, if I had it all to do over again, he would be my man right now." This way, he isn't forced to try to say the "right" thing, or even say anything, and you've laid it all out on the table for everyone to know, no games, no bullshit. Make sure you don't say it in a depressed way, keep a smile on your face, but make it clear you wish things were different. I bet you the smile on his face will say it all.
Like I said, it makes a guy feel like a king when he can make his girl happy. So honestly, the best thing you can do is let him make you happy. Romance eachother all over again. You know there were certain things you did that he just thought was so cute, so do them. And don't be afraid to let him know ou're doing them for him.
Number one thing-don't pressure him!! Don't hint you like him with any expectations. Your aim shouldn't be to get him back as your boyfriend right now; your aim should be to make sure he isn't thinking about dating any other girls because you're the one on his mind.
As far as the vacation thing, that's a tough one, and I've rewritten this paragraph about five times. I am just going to send you a lot of good wishes that the right time to ask him presents itself. It kind of depends on what you want; if you are OK with going as friends, ask him any time, but if you want to go as a couple, that's a little different. Hopefully, if you talk about the vacation, planning it in front of him with your friends, or whatever, you can get him to almost invite himself. Good luck!
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Haha, alright, so it sounds like hanging out went really really well! That's exciting. Congrats.
Okay, so first question: If I remember correctly, you're going on vacation in July. You definitely need to give him a heads up soon and see if he wants to go. Like you said, it was already somewhat planned out, so I'm sure he'll agree to go. You just don't want to wait until the last minute and spring it on him. There's only one week left in June. I don't know if you're going at the beginning, middle, or end of July. If you're going at the beginning, you should ask him as soon as you feel comfortable asking him. If it's near the end, you can wait a couple weeks, which would be perfect for you to hang out with him more before you go.
Second question, I think you should just continue to hang out with him for a while. You can hint around that you still care about or think of him, without fully hinting that you're in love with him. You want to play it cool, like you said, you don't want to come on too strong. Try to hang out with him asap with friends or alone. If there's a movie out that you want to see, ask if he wants to go with you, especially if it's one that you think he'd like.
Once you hang out for a while, and especially when you go on vacation with him, it would be more appropriate to tell him how you're feeling fully. Right now, since you're just starting to hang out again, you want to play it cool, calm, and collected. Don't make him think that you don't care about him, but don't tell him you still love him yet. You don't want to scare him off or make anything awkward. Just play it cool and wait a while.
Darby(:
EDIT:
It really depends on what kind of party it is. If it's just a small gathering of about 10 people or less, a party would be okay. But if it's an all-out drunken mess of people, it's definitely not a good idea. You won't be able to get any privacy, there will be people there acting stupid (because some people don't handle liquor well), it will be loud due to music and people talking, etc..
If you want to do something more private, see if he wants to go bowling/rollerskating/golfing/laser tagging. You could also have dinner at a semi-nice restaurant and go to a movie. If you don't have the money/transportation for these things, a nice walk would be good. You could go to the park and have a nice picnic, or if there are any lakes near your house, you could go there at night and just sit, watch the stars and talk. It's surprisingly entertaining and intimate, no matter who you're with.
Have fun(:
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