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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I have come to realize that I'm lesbian. I feel like I need to come out because it feels... Stressful to hide who I am. I don't know how to come out to my family or some if my friends. I don't want to hide this from them. Please, help me?
Think of who your most open minded family member is. Even if there is only one. If not a parent or sibling, how about an aunt or cousin who is not homophobic and actually supportive of that.
You'd want to have this positive person at your side for moral support when bringing up the revelation to the rest of family. Having a supportive person speaking up for you is more likely to keep things from becoming an all out hate fest at the worst. Having someone other than you to call them to account for their beliefs or stances and reminding them that you are still daughter and sister and your sexuality has nothing to do with that. More of the young people are supportive these days. If you hang out as a group, choose your most likely to be supportive friend to tell first and get them to agree to help you present the news to the others.
M/15
I have a freind who seems to be at the maturity level every one was at in 8th grade ,but we are in 10th. Usaly I can tolerate him but lately he's been driving over the edge. He pulls the card that his life sucks so much and that I screw him over every time I can't hangout. He trys to tell me what music to listen to even though we have diferent tastes. And he texts me non stop. If I don't answer he texts me 5 more times. Be specificaly targets me out of our freind circle. And lately its been to much for me to handel. He's been trying to separate me from my freinds abd this what put me over the edge: I have a sculpture in my room of a life sized women that i was given and he was strangeling it and do innopriate things to it. Then its head fell off. He's my freind but every day he gets more annoying. What would be the best course of action because I don't want to hurt his feelings but the only solution I can think of will. how would you deal with this situation if I were you?
Looks like you'll have to have a talk with him. Pick one thing at a time to bring up with him like the non stop texting. Tell him there are some changes you need from him. Tell him that the amount of texts he sends you daily is just too overwhelming for you. In fact, there is no one else you know who texts that much. Its not normal to you to have someone contact you that often. If he is really a friend, he will want to do that for you.
I think the problem is he doesn't have a life of his own, maybe even has a tough time making friends. So with nothing to do, no activities to keep him busy, time weighs heavy on his hands and he has chosen to rely on you to give meaning and entertainment to his life. I wonder if his parents are aware of this?
Tell him also that it is okay to have differing tastes in things. You will respect his choice of music, and you will expect him to do the same with you instead of criticizing your choices and telling you what to listen to.
You are going to have to spell it all out for him.
If it doesn't change a thing and he continues as if you never asked him to cool it, then you might try talking to his parents and ask them if they are aware of this behavior in him and spell it out for them, telling them what you told us, because it just may be a more serious condition than him being immature... and his parents would want to be aware of this.
Especially if he is always going on about how life sucks, there is a possibility he may become depressed enough someday to try to take his life. His parents would need to be made aware so they can take action now before its too late.
Sorry, there's no easy way to do this and not hurt his feelings.
Can you do video showing me how to bleach my hair using household bleach ?
there are video's on you tube already. All you need to do is a search on line how to use bleach or hydrogen peroxide to lighten hair.
I would recommend you do not do it at all. there is a reason why there are hair products sold to bleach hair lighter or products to take out all color.
Household bleach comes with cautions on the label to not breath the vapors or have it come into contact with your skin. I can't say what the problems would be and I saw all sorts of comments from people on line, which I can't verify is true but some said if it gets into your eyes, it could blind you. It could create skin conditions or actually burn your skin. the hair will dry out real badly and it could actually break off in chunks or lose it all. thats the kind of stuff I found.
I checked on hydrogen peroxide and thought some people used it to spray on hair to lighten it, they say its not enough to take out all color like if you want to start with white hair to color it blue or green or something. It'll only lighten hair.
But you dont have to believe me or anyone else. Just call contact numbers on your bottle of bleach and hydrogen peroxide and contact those companies to ask them yourselves if its okay to use on your hair cus what goes on your hair goes on your skin/scalp etc...
Since you are not asking if it might be harmful to use, instead asking only how its done, my guess is that your mind is set. But then sometimes, the way we learn best is from making our own mistakes. If you are a teen, I suggest you ask mom about your idea here and get her feedback, and i'LL bet she says no. If you are going to do this anyways, no matter what, be prepared to pay the price, ending up in emergency in the hospital having burnt your lungs from the fumes, or having breathing problems and stuck on oxygen for a while or forever, damage to your eyes...the fumes are enough to do it. getting into your eyes is likely enough to cause worse damage, scar tissue or yes, maybe blindness. And i can't imagine what else could go wrong. You may not have immediate problems with the skin that you are aware of, just irritation, but what if your skin is burnt and the healing process yields skin with different pigmentation shades for the rest of your life, meaning skin of your scalp, face and maybe neck and shoulders in even splotches of color as it heals, never to look normal again. If I were you, I'd do more research on what side effects there could be. If the worst that happens is that your hair breaks off at the roots from damage and all falls out cus you killed it, you'd have to live with being bald for quite some time.
Stick with the proper products especially formulated for stripping hair color cus they are specially made and come with instructions that must be strictly followed to avoid consequences.
I am in grade 8 and I am a chubby female.Do high school guys in grades 8-10 still look at me with interest of getting to know me or dating me?
You must take into mind that boys at this age are fickle, or not sure yet of what they like in a female, or afraid to date anyone different in looks from who their pals are dating, and its all due to a lack of experience in life in this area of relationships and dating plus a lot of immaturity tossed in.
There are always exceptions to the general rules...so even in high school, you will find that there are boys who don't buy into the crap that media feeds society as to what the perfect girl looks like. Some have no preferance in looks, some want the natural look--no make up or colored hair or painted nails. I see women of all ages, teens on to older adults where the female is chubby to obese and the man who is her partner is a skinny pole of a man.
You may have to be patient and wait for a guy to come to his senses which is more likely, the older he is. I know it may feel lonely now if you find it difficult. But don't give up. I have read about what interests men more in a female...if presented with a beauty who is a bubblehead with no personality and suffers a low self image, compared to the female who lacks the model type beauty, but has a great personality and has great self confidence, happy with herself and doesn't see herself as lacking anything... and that dear speaks louder to males than the other type of woman. Confidence and a good self image is sexy on a gal and guys go for it. As I said, it may not happen yet at your age because compared to guys 25 and older, their brains are still not fully developed so they lack ability to make best judgements yet. All humans, females too have brains that aren't completely done growing until mid twenties on, so its not just a male thing.
So don't let anyone tell you that you are ugly or unwanted or undesirable for a girlfriend. Kids can be cruel but what they say, just isn't so.
I will tell you a little story of one of the few times I went to nudist clubs and while there got to see two very obese women with their husbands who were thin. I know how most people would have a problem with others seeing their bodily imperfections including the extra weight and folds of skin. But I found as I studied the two women that I was being affected by their attitude of themselves before I even realized it. Even as a female who is heterosexual, I can spot and appreciate beauty or handsomeness in women and men without any sexual tone to it. So as I watched them, I noticed that I felt one of these obese women was very beautiful, I couldn't shake that feeling, whereas the other came across as very unattractive. They had extremely similar looks so what was the difference? It finally dawned on me that while one was completely okay with her looks, not only content but believed she was beautiful, the other must have said the words that she was pretty but not really believed it. If I as a female could pick that up, how much more so can the males? Hang in there honey. You will have male friends and males who want to date you. Depending on well well your self image is, it may be sooner than later.
Ok so just today my mom yelled that because I argue with my sister her and dad fight and because of me someone might have to leave and it might be her because she can't deal with it and today my dad pulled my sister's hair and it's my fault because I aggravated him. And when my suicidal thoughts reached them my dad told me I'm gonna have to stop or him and mom are getting a divorce. Wtf? And I'm not going to a fucking psychologist I refuse. I haven't attempted suicide and my mom made me promise not to but sometimes it seems like the only way out! And my dad seems to think I'm some unpaid baby sitter because once when I was at a bbq I said I wasn't gonna watch them all night like I always do and both my parents threw fits! Help?
If it's exactly as you say it is, a parent pulling their offsprings hair does not sound like adult behavior.
It sounds more like both parents have their own issues to go through that are not related to you kids at all and chose to point the blame rather than face facts. Even if they are mismatched in marriage and no longer love each other, or the two of them fight each other because they are selfish people,or financial pressures are putting then at wits end, or perhaps there is some truth that two teen girls bickering is getting to them, other adults and parents have to face the same things every day and not all will lash out at their kids, only the immature ones.
The reason pressures come into our lives is for the purpose of shaping and bettering us, helping us grow. We don't grow from living easy care free lives with all our dreams come true. People are like diamonds, it is thru great pressures that carbons create diamonds and great pressures create a jewel of a person too.
Your parents are going to have to learn how to process through whatever it is they are avoiding. No, pressure isn't fun. If they don't learn to process through what ever it is they need to learn in life as souls, then pressures will continue to increase for them until they either crack, or learn. And this will happen, even if you and sis and other siblings were no longer in the home, even after you're all grown and on your own. It isn't fair that you are stuck in a dysfunctional family but then perhaps that is your pressure process to learn to deal with. If I were you, I'd reach out to school counselors. Tell them everything you told me, and if they don't take it seriously, which I highly doubt, then you will need to keep telling people until you've got someone who will do something about it. Maybe you have relatives who are sane and mature you can talk to. Right now, having parents who are so stressed they can pull hair, only means it can get lots worse, escalating to shoving, hitting and throwing things at. You already suffer verbal abuse but there isn't much that can be done to protect against that unless things have changed in the last 5 or so years since I left an abusive marriage.
Laying a hand on another person in any way meant to intend to hurt or punish out of anger is either a misdemeaner or felony .
The difference between a misdemeanor and a felony is based on the severity of the crime. So before it gets to that point, someone of authority needs to speak with your parents and see if they can get them in for counseling. My ex had mental illness that worsened over the years that were part of the reason he abused. Your parents may love you all but people under pressure who try to handle things themselves instead of turning to others for help, are going to botch things up.
I understand too about being the oldest and always asked to watch siblings, no matter that the next one in line was old enough to do that now. I had to bring that fact to my parents and once I did, I was released from that responsibility except for them scheduling ahead with me on occasion to be sure I didnt have any youth events I planned to attend. Of course my parents werent totally stressed out and could respond within reasonable manners. The only way your parents are going to get the help they need is for others to know and set things in motion for them to get help now. You yourself may want some counseling to get past all your frustration and anger, and it should be left up to you who, or whether you do. After years of marriage abuse, even I as an adult needed a little counseling. Didn't need much, just a different perspective, to realize I was using coping mechanisms I came up with that is common for abused people in their situation. But copings mechanisms that are more harmful rather than helpful when popping into that mode subconsciously while out in public with friends, or boyfriend, students teachers, co workers...etc. I am gonna guess that this has been going on for quite some time and just slowly getting worse. It had to get extremely bad before you noticed. Its like the story of how to cook a frog in a pot of water...you slowly turn up the heat, every so slowly that the frog easily adjusts to the hotter and hotter temperatures until eventually it goes beyond the point at which any living thing can survive, and they are boiled to death. So trust me, whats going on is not trivial. On one last thought, if you have a church priest or pastor to reach out to, do so, for they may be of help in getting some resolution to this moving. Good luck
Hello, I am female and 20, he is 22. I work as a cashier at walmart and this guy works in the Subway in my walmart. He just moved here a couple months ago and we started talking. One night, my parents were away for the week so I had a small party and he came over for a few hours. Where my friend thought he was cute and tried to get with him where he didn't reciprocate. He never answered her texts or anything and later told me he thought she had chronic bitch face. She stopped trying, he and I continued talking but not all the time. As time went on, we would talk more, I got his number from my friend. He never texts me first but he always replies. However, on his breaks at work, he would come over and talk to me. He would act like he had a question when he was talking to me so I wouldn't get in trouble. When I'm on self checkout, he would come and talk to me. One night, I was done before him so I waited with him until he closed to shop and he gave me a free cookie and then he walked me to my car afterwards and we talked at my car for an hour. He told me about how his aunt adopted him and how he moved around a lot, how he tried to go to college and how he realized it wasn't for him, he talked about how he wanted to have kids but didn't want to be "tied down" with a girl. Last night, he was finished before I was, so he came over and talked to me at self checkout. We were laughing and joking and everything and then he said he wanted to go home and sleep, he works three jobs so he barely sleeps. Before he left, though, he told me to text him and I brought up that he never texts me and he said he doesn't like thinking that he bothers me so he never texts me but he always answers mine. So, I told him to get home and rest and he went in for a hug before he left.
With said information, would you say he likes me? If so, why would he tell me he doesn't want a girlfriend? What should I do? I don't like texting him first all the time but we would never talk if I don't.
Maybe at his age, he isn't ready to do the dating relationships and just wants females for friends only...casual like.
then again, he may not be sure/or may be sure of his sexuality and instead or hetero, is a-sexual, gay or bi and that's not an easy topic to bring up right at the beginning. Just enjoy the friendship for now and don't expect anything more from it. That way, if something more does develope, you can be pleasantly surprised.
If you knew your 27 year old brother was on cocaine and heroin and you felt that having him arrested was the only way to protect his life, would you do it?
If you, your parents, and your other siblings had tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING short of getting him arrested and it all had failed to get him off of the drugs, what would you do? What if you had enough proof that he possesses drugs for the police to make the arrest? Would you actually call the police and have your own brother cuffed and thrown in jail?
He's already been arrested twice and sent to rehab twice and of he's arrested again he could be in big, BIG trouble. He might hate you if you do it and although your parents have talked about doing it themselves, everyone else might think you're a horrible brother. Still, you love home too much to let those consequences control your decision.
He actually overdosed once and almost died. His roommate had to call an ambulance and when they got there, your brother had stopped breathing and they had to shove a tube down his throat to force air into his lungs. You had to drive you parents to the hospital because upon hearing the news, they went into some kind of episode driven by the fear that their son was either dying or dead.
In addition to the fear you feel for your brother, your parents are living in agony because they're terrified for his life and you're worried that their stress and anxiety is damaging their health. You mom can't sleep well most nights and can't sleep at all some nights. She's constantly on the verge of having a coronary because of she can't live with the terror of her son dying from a drug overdose and your dad is always stressed out too. Your siblings live in agony as well and it'd just be better for everyone if your brother got off the drugs one way or another. What would you do?
You'd have to first be able to answer how his getting arrested again would make a difference. Was he told if he was arrested for using coccaine he'd go to jail for life, or if he's selling it, the same? If he went to jail for life, do you believe that you and the whole family would suddenly feel relief because he wasn't in any danger of dying? Maybe initially. As time goes on though, you realize he is not having a productive life, you all can't have him at family gatherings and chat with him any time you want. You'd be trading one agony for another.
This is like those families with a loved one who is being kept alive artificially in a hospital. If unplugged they will die. And Dr prognosis after so many years gone by is that nothing is going to change. The loved one may be alive but is already lost to them as far as being able to interact with normally. They are making a decision on her behalf to continue to keep her alive which forces her soul to remain attached to the body, unable to go home to heaven to rest.
Your brother's soul is forced to remain in this life longer by being put in jail for life, he won't have the opportunity to be released from this life early if that's what he wishes. Obviously his mind set has been to reject help, not want to go with the program and really make it successfully through rehab. We all have been given free will and that means to make our own decisions no matter if instead of good, they are bad, hurtful to others or hurtful to self.
It's a tough call. I kinda have an idea what its like. I have a daughter who should be on meds for mental illness but at 28 hasn't been taking now for a few years and keeps getting worse. She's cut off all contact with all family members, met a guy who is also mentally ill and not taking meds and his paranoia and stories have her convinced that all he suffered in childhood was actually what happened in her childhood and blames her parents, me as one, for things that never happened to her. She's gone off the deep end and there isn't a darned thing we can do about it as she is an adult and by law has the freedom to make decisions for herself. The only other thing would be for family to say she was endangering herself and forcing her to be locked up in a place for the mentally ill. The thing is, her path will not be a more immediate possibility of death but a slower one do to not taking care of herself, like choosing to live in quarters that are basically un inhabitable per housing codes for one. But she isn't trying to take her own life, and yet, she really has no life and plus, no family ever gets to see her anymore. She won't answer phone calls. It's just as scary.
So what do I do as her mom? I pray for her every day. If I dwell on what's going on with her, my own health will suffer. I won't let what is happening to her, take out my life too by domino effect.
I have to content my self with the fact that if I never get to see her again in this lifetime, I'll get to see her in heaven, no longer dragged down by a mentally ill mind, just perfectly healthy and whole as a soul and we'll be able to hug and love on each other. That is realistically all that I have to cling to.
You must do what you feel is best in your situation because really everyone once faced with something like that in life may act differently than they thought they would ahead of time. And others may have regrets after they make a decision on behalf of a loved one. I will not say one way is right and one is wrong...that isn't so. No matter what happens, it is an emotional experience in this world for the souls of all your family members and it may be just as much about what you are here in this life time to experience and go through as it is for your brother.
19/m
So I started college about a month ago... up until then I was single and wasnt missing my ex girlfriend. It's now been a month and more and more I miss my ex girlfriend.
I dated her last fall and it lasted only a short time, then in the summer we kinda dated, we definitely had a thing and were intimate. Out of nowhere she ended things, which I respect, but I could kind of tell it was coming. I have always been able to kind of tell when someone has lost interest or is acting weird when in a relationship with me. So I knew kind of.
But I didnt miss her for about a month... I still had time left in summer so I don't know why I never missed her but being here at college I miss her more and more every day. I always think back to things that we did or memories we had. Things like that.
I'm wondering why I would be missing her? What can I do to get over missing her?
I already struggle with making friends and I am struggling with other parts of life so the added thoughts of her in my life just dont help.
You say you struggle with making friends. Not having anyone to relate to, even just buddies can make a person feel lonely and when lonely we are more prone to think of our past friends, friends who moved away, relationship partners who broke up and moved on...because they are familiar and people we're already comfortable with.
For breakups, i have never heard yet of any way to get over the hurt or the missing of a partner. About the only thing that helps is the passage of time. I know, not what you want to hear.
Do you know why she lost interest. You sensed it. But thats not good enough...when the purpose of dating is to learn what you like and don't like about females and what they like and don't like about you.
If adjustments can be made in you...that would help in a future relationship, wouldn't you want to know?
If she gives you a real petty answer and you can tell it's far fetched, not honest truth, or you know that isnt something you did wrong, then don't pay it any mind.
Its easier to handle the "other parts of life" we struggle with if we have people we are close to in life who really understand us. and that is what you dont have. Sometimes it is easier to stop missing someone by becoming occcupied with starting a new friendship or dating relationship.
if you are shy, you already know how hard it is to make new friends. So look for shy girls and befriend them cus you have a plus that the more confident guys dont have, you will be able to "get her", to know how she feels and what she struggles with to make friends.
If I've misunderstood, and your issue is something entirely different, let me know and I'll try again to help.
Autumngladding
I can tell you how to get a guys attention but after that, once he knows you exist, whether he likes you or not is a matter of personal preferance and there is nothing you can do to influence or change that. Even you have personal preferances in what you are attracted to in a guy. HOW about looks? Maybe you're not picky and any guy in school can ask you out and you'd accept, right? I don't think so. What if he is too skinny or nerdy looking for you, is kinda dopey looking to you or the kind of guy who is a player. No guy could do anything special to make you date him if you couldn't stand his looks, his voice sounds like a female or too nasal, or his laugh makes your skin crawl.
First, be yourself, cus you want to attract only the kind of guy who likes someone like you. You are not going to be of interest for a relationship to 100% Of the boys. About the only thing you'll find is that close to 100%, is that men will be attracted by your female body, just for the joy of looking at it, not cus they want a relationship with you. It will be so, throughout your life, no matter your age.
Talking is the best way to catch a guys interest. Smile at him and greet him by name. Guys are usually scared to approach girls for fear of being rejected so approaching a guy first is to your advantage. Eventually, you'll ask the right guy and he'll want to hang out with you.
How did you get to know your girlfriends. How do you know their favorite singers, movies, favorite foods, or holiday...etc. Because somewhere along the line you both asked each other. Start convo's in relation to a class you share, or some other school event to make a comment and then ask him a question about it, like "how did you do on the test in Science." Then you might share with your favorite part in science is. Find out his. try to latch on to something in the last comments or answers given, to ask the next question. If he says, he's mostly into astronomy. You could ask if he has his own telescope and find a way to ask if you could come over some time to have him show you the moon and other things. IF he says he didnt do well cus he hates science, then you now know what he doesn't like but you don't know what he does like so ask,"Whats your favorite subject then he says "band, because he wants to be a musician someday." You know he likes band, what do you not know about him in that class...obviously...what instrument he plays and what others he might already know how to play or want to learn. At the end of a conversation, you tell him you enjoyed your chat with him and would like to do that again real soon. Would it be okay to trade phone numbers, theres a good chance he will do it. The more time he then gets to spend hanging with you, is where he will form the decision whether he is really interested and likes you as girlfriend material or whether just as a friend or neither.
Hello, I am 15(Female)and I am only attracted to men that are 20 or older to like 40. I can not stand guys my age because they are so immature and they annoy me. I hate being single, but since it is illegal to date the men i am interested in I feel like there is something wrong with me. What do I do? Is it wrong?
Girls often mature sooner than boys when it comes to relationships. It is not wrong to want to be with a mature guy. Unfortunately at your age, many guys are only just starting to date and have no idea what they are doing, same as you. A good majority of girls have a little more clue on relating to another person, they've been doing that with girlfriends for a long time, and the only thing they lack is understanding yet how a guys mind thinks and processes things so even females will have their own set of problems relating to guys, not out of immaturity but more out of lack of knowledge.
You can't hurry up a person's maturing because for all humans the real issue is the part of brain responsible for mature decision making isn't done growing in young people until we reach mid 20s to 30. So while the desire to date is there for you, it won't always be easy.
You state that you hate being single. Lets say you're 18 right now and you found a boyfriend to date starting tomorrow. Ask your self how that would improve your life, how that would make your life more fulfilling. You don't have to answer me, just understand yourself fully.
If having a guy is better than being single, then why? I do know that many are actually in love with the idea of dating more as a social status thing, and it's less about the guy and how you feel about him and whether he's perfect for you. That's why lots of people are in crappy relationships.
And dating should be a process of learning what it is you like and don't like about guys, so you can have a better idea about what kind of guy you're looking for in a life long relationship, but it rarely is. People go at dating for all other reason's but that one.
So what can you do until you turn 18 and are considered the age of consent to have sex...even if that's not the first thing you're going to do?
While you are waiting, start making a list, in a diary/journal or on a saved doc. on computer. The list should have notations of what it is you were attracted to in a particular guy, no matter what his age. The attraction process is a normal selective process of the human species. We see things we are attracted to visually in a guy, and also some surface level things we can pick up just from observing them in public.
Those things are the key things that will make a girl want to get to know a guy even better to see if he's the kind of person she might want to have a life long relationship with. this initial attraction doesnt mean the guy is actually mature under it all, or even right match for a girl, the attraction is only the bait, like the worm on the hook, to get two people willing to get to know each other better and that process is called dating.
You will form a list of traits and characteristics you like in a guy and those you don't like. You may refine your list many times as you grow older, and there'll be new revelations as you actually do date. the only real danger even you were 18 and wanting to date a guy 20 years or more older than you is that there is a very great chance that they are in a relationship or married with kids and not happy with their marriage anymore yet also unwilling to split up so they seek an outside relationship with another female. Some older guys going through their mid life crisis, want to try to recapture their youth and the best way they beleive they can is to find a young girl, 18 19, 20 who is prone to be more gullible and easy to dupe... and they say and do what they can to convince the girl they love her when all it is , is something self serving to them. It's not about being in love with the young gal, but just wanting any young gal to help them feel young again and they know that young girls are easy prey because they were once young immature guys themselves and they know some gals are tired of guys their age and want older ones. Keep that in mind dear.
I am 19.I try to ignore the attraction towards girls but I can't help.I don't want to be a lesbian.what do I do.??please help!
I have no idea what kind of attraction you have towards females so I want to be clear on this. If you look at females and can appreciate their form and be able to like the shape of their breast, hips, from an artistic standpoint, or lets say more like enjoying beautiful scenery like mountains, a sunset... that does not make you gay or bi. If you have a desire to want to make love to and to also be sexually pleasured by a female, that would make you either lesbian or bi sexual.
Bi means attracted sexually to both females and males. You did not mention if you feel attraction sexually to males.
How you get aroused or attracted sexually isn't something you get to choose, it's how you are born. It is not something learned because if it were, then all the adopted children of same sex couples would grow up to be gay and that is not so. They don't learn to become that just because their parents were.
You must have some reason for not wanting to be bi or gay? Unless I know more about what stories and beliefs or biases or where you got them, it may help for me to give you further advice. I await further info from you.
My father told me that I tripped off his friends because I was able to name over 50 countries at the age of 2 1/2. What does tripped off mean?
I've not heard that term and sites on a net search were vague, with mostly educated guesses. The trip part likely is a comparision to the altered state of the mind when taking drugs, so I am supposing it compares to "blowing someone's mind", "totally in awe" "this can't be for real--I must be dreaming"
As to what they were tripped off about, it is extremely unusual for a 2 1/2 yr old to be able to name over 50 countries. Makes me wonder if you have something like a photographic memory, only having to see or hear something once and its recorded in your mind, accessible by you at any time. Or perhaps you have a very high IQ?
I wanna start by saying that I know none of you are vets and I plan to see a vet soon. I just want to know if any of you have run into this problem. I have a nine year old male yorkie who will actually be ten in January. Sometimes I forget how old he is because he still acts like a little puppy, which is why it kills me to see him start to develop old dog problems.
A while back, my mother's yorkie, who's a bit aggressive, picked a fight with mine and injured his leg. It took excessively long for his leg to heal and as soon as it did, the same thing happened over again. It took so long to heal that time that I knew the fight alone wasn't to blame for his pain. I also noticed that he no longer limps on the same leg.
I went on a trip over this past weekend and put the dog in a kennel Thursday evening. I got back yesterday and got him out and when I did, the kennel owner said she thought he had arthritis. She said she'd help us get medicine for it.
Then today, we were sitting in a recliner when my cell phone started ringing as my mother called me. The dog typically gets really excited when my phone rings because he associates that ringtone with getting to see my mom soon. He started barking in excitement and jumped up, but then started squealing and fell back down ad if it hurt bad just to put that kind of pressure on his legs. I had to carry him to my car to go give my Mom a ride as he was having such trouble walking himself.
Does this sound like arthritis? Has aanyone run into this problem with their dog before?
Being in the Kennel may have meant even less movement for him and a small amount of moving the muscles can help animals same as people if they can tight muscles, arthritis, or an area of previous injury that acts up with weather changes, or stress from a change in situation that makes an old injury flare up even when seeming to have healed. Its good you're going to a vet. I've known plenty of pets who developed problems with their hips due to age, or due to the particular breed having issues with that and it's hard to see ones pet in pain when it doesnt have to be. There may be daily supplements prescribed that take care of it, or depending on what it is, arthritis in the site of a previous injury, there may be some kind of therapy described.
Good luck.
I cheated on my husband cause i felt abanden lonely.not sexy but i met this guy and we use to talk.and made me felt wanted again but not.even a.week.later he asked to borrow money so i said k then.1 month later again and i said no. Then he tells me he had sex with his ex.and ask to borrow money again i told him no and he begged.me.to.so.i dont answer.his.calls no more is that all he.wanted to make me.feel loved and.wanted just to use me
There are many couples who marry who do not have a strong enough sexual chemistry with. They may have chemistry as best friends. But you've surely had best friends in life before, and can even care deep enough to feel like love but there is no sexual desire or attraction towards them.
If there isn't a good match on the friendship side of a marriage, then a woman lacks the emotional connection. You may be needing just that or both the emotional connection with someone at a deep level and also the sexual one since you mentioned not feeling sexy and I assume not feeling desired.
Women may seek friendship with and meet secretly with a man for fulfilling the need to have someone pay attention, listening to them and also talking with, verbally complimenting, building you up, being supportive and encouraging in their conversation and there be no kissing or sexual contact of any sort.
Some women might find that with girlfriends but most want that from a man.
The man you found, if you did not have sex (you didn;t say) was liking looking for a woman who was 'needy enough' to be vulnerable to anything he said and he pursued you with the intent to get money. Or, if you both did have sex, he isn't totally happy in his marriage for some marriage and truly was seeking another woman, but then once he met you, decided to ask you to borrow money. You dont know him well enough to know what he's doing with that money and he may never pay it back. He could have a habit he's feeding, drugs, alcohol, gambling....
But regardless of what he did with you and why he did it, looking at the bigger picture, there is a need to take a closer look at whats going on in your marriage. Do you still love you, or do you wish to fall in love again and him with you and resolve whatever the issues are between you? This will take some talking to husband and letting him know how you feel abandoned and lonely, and dont feel sexy or desired anymore. People can get so distracted by their other responsibilities that eventually unintentionally they are no longer paying attention to their most important responsibility, their partner.
I would suggest talking about going to see a marriage counselor to learn to identify what some problems are and both agree to a plan to solve them. If it comes out that he had no desire and hasn't for a long time and is hanging out just for convenience sake, and he doesnt want to work on the marriage or doesnt believe there is anything wrong with it, then you are married to someone who is not right for you.
Either you decide to spend the next several decades staying with him expecting nothing more than what you already have, or you can decide to leave, get a divorce and end up free to pursue a man who truly cherishes you.
You won't know what you are facing here until you speak up. If you are too afraid to find out what your situation really is, then again, you will have to live with this til the day you die.
22/f
About 2 months ago, my boyfriend of 2 years fell back into his pain pill addiction and I broke up with him. He has had issues with pills for a long time, and the first time I found out, he said he'd get sober but he didn't really give it a solid effort. I told him that while I understood having an addiction is beyond his control, he wasn't taking all of the steps his doctor wanted him to and that I couldn't be with him if he started taking them again. Well, 2 months ago, I found out he had been again and I left him. However, he has been making a very sincere effort to stay sober and has been clean since we broke up. But besides the pill addiction, he has been so good to me. We have so much fun together and up until this last break up, I was positive I wanted to marry him.
After we broke up, I started to see this other guy that I used to hook up with in high school. It started off as just hooking up like once a week, but then we both realized we like each other.. a lot. He's a couple years younger than me and he's so immature, like we're at completely different stages in our lives and it would make no sense at all to be in a relationship with him. But there is so much chemistry and sexual tension that I seriously get butterflies every time I see him. It's become a full blown infatuation, and he feels the same way back.
But my ex and I have got back together, and that makes me so happy. I mean, honestly besides the pills, things were perfect with him. We never fought and sometimes it seemed like we were the same person. With him it didn't seem like I was just "settling," but actually with someone who FIT me. I didn't even take a second glance at other guys until our last break up.
Unfortunately, I can't seem to break things off with this other guy. When I think realistically about the situation, I know I should be with my boyfriend. We're just good together. But then this new guy will call and want me to come over and I'm swooning.
I'm embarrassed that I'm even in this situation. I have been cheated on and it hurts so bad. I hate that I keep doing this but I honestly don't know what to do. I need the opinion of someone who doesn't know me because I'm too ashamed to talk to my closest friends about it.
I feel like my options are limited. I can either stay with my boyfriend and break things off with guy, but keep lusting after him. Or I can leave my boyfriend, but that kind of seems impossible. It would absolutely tear him apart and I think I would regret that later. It's like I know which is the smarter idea, but my heart is willing me to act stupid. This seems like it should be an easy decision but I've been struggling with this for a couple weeks and still have no idea what to do.
First, you said yourself that the younger guy is immature. All you have is the great sex. But you lack the friendship part. A healthy relationship is built on two main things, having a sexual chemistry and compatibility, the second which is just as important is being best of friends. It is out of that friendship that all the rest of the good things should come. Your close girlfriends treat you nicely or you wouldn't be friends with them. What is important is that you seek out a relationship with a guy who can care about your feelings, be trust worthy, truthful, good at communicating, able to encourage you and support you in following your dreams and talents, and loving everything about you, no matter what you're like 24/7, in different situations like not just happy, but sad, upset, stressed, and wanting to help you to feel better. You also want to be able to be intimate with him as far as being able to share your deepest secrets without fear of ridicule, anger, jealousy, etc.
If you had not gone back to the guy who took pain meds. and were still single, then there would have been nothing wrong with having a "friend with benefits" deal with the younger guy. There's nothing wrong with getting your sexual needs met while still searching for that right guy to be in a relationship with...as long as you and whoever the FWB's have an understanding that this is just for sex because you can't see him being anything more for you. Heck I did that once after leaving my ex and hadn't yet found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with yet. You have to make that clear to the young man...that he was just company until you either got back with the boyfriend or found someone who could be just the right personality for you.
So break it off, and experience the lustful feelings. Just because the lustful feelings are there doesnt mean you have free license to act upon them. A person needs to learn self control and stick with it. After all, that is what women are expecting from men out there in society. They expect that even though a man who sees them or meets them and feels lust for them, is going to exercise self control and not attack them and go after them for sex. Yes, thats a bit different, unwanted sex, vs in your case wanted...but its the self control I am talking about. This isn't the only time in life you'll find yourself in a relationship and come across a guy, or meet him, who you end up attracted to and drawn to sexually. Your sex drive isn't selective and only there for feeling sexual attraction to one guy. The only choices is: Sex drive is on, or it is off completely and if so, no desire for sex with ones partner. You can't program yourself to never feel instant desire when spotting a certain guy. So you many as well begin practicing self control.
hi sir/mam,
This is siva from india ,age:22.i have a doubt regarding masturbation, i masturbate daily more than twice is that make any problem in me, like STD or any hormone problem . i am trying to stop it but unable to do it.. how to stop it, and tel me is that make any problem in me after marriage.? is it give a gene problem to my child ? please help me out..
It is normal for a healthy male to want to masturbate several times a day, so there is nothing different or odd about you. As long as you dont masturbate so much that it distracts you from your daily responsibilities, school, job and most important, if you have a wife, her needs are being met sexually from you. There is nothing wrong with wanting more even after having completely satisfied your partner. So in that case, masturbating is okay too.
I have been wearing contact lenses for three years, off and on. I still have a few boxes left from a prescription that was given to me three years ago... I don't want to waste the contact lenses, but at the same time, don't want to harm my eye health.
Is there much harm in using contact lenses from a prescription that is past the prescription expiration date (mine is from nearly three years ago)? I see fine when wearing them... the main issues are cost and not wanting to throw out extra lenses.
I don't think its about contacts expiring but its more about your prescription about contacts changing. If you go for your eye dr. visit once every two years and they tell you that your prescription hasn't changed...then that would be the time to mention how many boxes you have left. If you have no insurance and its a matter of cost to you, here's what I found on line, tests have not concluded yet 100% that there would be problems using the contacts in unopened packs. Here's a quote:
Blister packs are heat sealed and made impermeable to bacteria therefore, theoretically, sterility of these contact lenses should only be compromised once the seal is broken. And here's the link:
http://www.saoptometrist.co.za/Chetty.pdf
I'm 16 my bf is 17 and we've been dating for seven months. As a person he is the nicest, most caring and great boyfriend to me and honestly treats me so well and I'm not even just saying that everyone says what a nice boyfriend to me he is. He doesn't do anything shady like talking or flirting with other girls or lying to me were actually pretty honestly open with each other. We care about each other so much and he's my first boyfriend and I love him very much. I always said if a guy ever cheated on me or anything id dump them for sure which I would as till this day in my relationship I don't put up with any shit with him and we always talk stuff out and I would say I wear the pants in our relationship. Getting to the point though long before we started dating I knew he was a pothead but that didn't bother me because we were just friends so what did I care. But even when we first started dating he wasn't even that bad with me I think because he knew I was talking to other guys too so he tried to be the best him he could be I guess and he even took me out and bought me flowers and chocolates for valentines day before we started dating and that's the person I really love and side I love about him. But now seven months into our relationship he still smokes but now it's become something like if he gets out of work at 9:45 and I tell him to come over to hangout with me he'll say if I had asked him earlier he would've said yes but he's gonna smoke with his friends what about if he comes over after and I'm so used to this and I know I shouldn't be but I am and this happens and he ends up getting to my house AT 12 am to chill. I told him that's ridiculous and that I feel like he puts smoking weed before me and that it feels like that's more important to him than me and he just says that's not true at all. But it's hard not to feel like that when it's happened more than once and I feel like I'm fighting for his attention. A lot of times when we hangout late he just starts falling asleep or of he's really high he's not even coherent with me. And I'm not mad about it anymore I'm just tired of it and I've told him this and he says he won't smoke before hanging out with me but he's tried that and it's only lasted so long. I know id be a fool to wait around for him to change because I know as much as he loves/cares about me idk if he would quit all together. Some of my guy friends have told me that I can't give
Him an ultimatum because he'll choose smoking but others have said I can because I'm his girlfriend and it's unfair to me because I'm the one that's sacrificing that's losing in the end. I don't want to explode on him one day and just break up with him but I don't know what to do like I'm torn. He is the best boyfriend but sometimes I feel like I am second choice and I feel like I'm in a relationship with an addict sometimes. I don't want to break up but I want to feel happy with him 100% of the time and not feel like I'm less important I just don't know what to do to make him realize that he's gonna lose me if he doesn't get his shit together. And I don't have a problem with people that smoke at all obviously because I smoke too sometimes or because I'm dating a pothead but with him he's affecting us in a bad way. And he's not the typical pothead he actually works a lot and when he's not high he's the best boyfriend and treats me great and with great respect but when he's high it makes me feel like I'm a doormat and I don't want to feel like that. What do i do? Thanks
Dating is for the purpose of finding things we like about the opposite sex and also discovering what we don;t like and when we discover the don't likes, and they don't get better, you break it off, make the mental note to look out for that in the next person, (have a list of pros and cons) and don't settle for less the next time around. As you go to a great many dating relationships, you will continue to learn. The object is not to go for proving how long you can stay together even if the relationship isn't good, but to learn now so you'll have an easier time in the future, finding the one you want to grow old together with.
Basically, as a young woman, you are going to have to decide what you want from a guy, not be afraid to spell it out, upfront and expect it cus you are not going to settle for less. Many guys will be attracted to you, cus there's something about a gal who speaks her mind where it pertains to a guy, that tells she is self confident and that is attractive to lots of guys. But not all of them will at the same time be willing to make the changes if any are needed to fit her list of expectations. The only way to get quality guys to date, even at this age, is to give them the ground rules and boundaries not to be crossed, and the moment they do, no matter how your heart may feel attached, you must break up and tell them why and then move on. Most girls can't do that and come back to the guy after telling him whats what. That only makes young men worse. They learn that they can get away with mediocre treatment or poor treatment of a young lady and she will take it because she doesnt want to lose him. You don't want to be one of a half dozen women he will ever meet in life, that teaches him its okay to ignore a girlfriend, or treat them like crap.
As has been said, there's no totally perfect two people who can make a perfect relationship where you're in bliss 100% of the time.
Happily ever after doesn't happen just because you wish it so. It only happens when both people put in maximum effort to make it so.
So if he's not putting in any effort, you're wasting your time. He's got a long way to go to adult maturity. If we dont have mature brains until age 25 to 30, then it may take some time. go on and learn more about dating from other guys. Try to stay in touch and see if you still have feelings as the years go by. If he grows up and changes sometimes in his late 20s and you're still available, then you may think of dating him again. Staying with him right now, robs you of your learning experiences in dating, as far as your needs and wants and want are the deal breakers with guys.
I'm a 14 year old girl so obviously I'm old enough that I know a good amount of curse words (though I generally don't use them of course) and about sex and everything (I don't have sex of course) from health class. My parents think that I'm so innocent though and they try to shelter me! I learned a lot from health class, friends, and experience but they think that I don't know anything. I haven't even gotten "the talk" yet and learned to take care of my period myself. I just feel like they don't know me.
Some parents are not comfortable with the topic of sex so they push it out of their mind. The parent should be initiating the conversation about dating, how to relate to boys and the topic of sex, answering all your questions, or if no questions, just sharing the basics and giving you their rules and boundaries regarding dating, and sex. Very few parents are able to do that. I think its because parents can't get past the image of you as a baby, toddler and child growing up when you relied on them for everything. Now that you are becoming your own person and spreading your wings to explore your world, subconsciously, that doesnt compute with their memory of you as a child. My adult children are totally different entities from who they were as children. It's like a parent having to meet a totally new child, someone they haven't met before, and it's up to you to reveal yourself to your parents, ask for chats and tell them about yourself. If you want, instead of going straight to questions on sex, tell them you want to know what their ideas and rules if any, for you are concerning dating since you're now in High school. And see if they have even given that any thought. Some parents have an age requirement or no dating alone, only with other couples at first. Once on the topic of dating, it may be easier to add in the topic of sex. "By the way, since we're talking about dating, I want to know how you feel about teenagers and sex. I've gone through puberty, have my period, and don't have a boyfriend yet, but when I do, if I develop deep feelings for him, I may naturally want to have sex. Are you comfortable talking to me about that? " If mom can't talk to you about sex, then thank her and tell her you will continue to learn all you need to know from other sources.
The world keeps changing so fast that for example, mom may not be the best person to go to for alternative products for use during period. But there is one helpful site, by a 20 something young lady who is intelligent, witty and entertaining all while sharing helpful info on sex and relationships. I will share her site link so you can check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
Good luck dear.
This might be a wierd question but how exactly do you kiss? Not french kissing but just a normal kiss. Thanks for the help.
Have you ever kissed one of your parents on the cheek? A quick initial kiss given to a boyfriend/girlfriend is really no different, it's just that instead of placing it on the cheek, you place it on the lips.
For more passionate, really involved kissing, you keep the lips in contact longer and approach more from an angle so your nose will be leaning against one side or the other of his/her nose. Both people open their mouths very slightly and move the lips in a motion of opening and closing your lips repeatedly. After getting past the nervousness of the initial first peck on the lips type of kiss, if the chemistry is there, the rest of the more romance kissing all comes naturally to a person and you'll find you need no lesson in how to do so.