I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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13/f
My family is always arguing and yelling. Once my parents were fighting and my dad almost left, I was in my room crying. But of course I think everybody would be. Well then they worked it out and he stayed but lately they have started fighting again and then my little 11 year old brother is getting in trouble everyday. Which makes my mom always yelling at him and then sometimes things come in with me and I start yelling because everybody else is. I hate it! I have cryed every single night that I can remember. I have cut myself once but not badly. I also promised myself I would never do it again. So that isn't much of my problem. I have tried talking to them about it but they are never happy and they never want to talk to me. I know for a fact they love me though. I try to get away from home as much as possible too. Also if no one is fighting then they are complaining. I hardly ever yell, I just stay in my room and try to block it all out or call my friends or go online or something. There is no abuse or anything so its good there. So if anyone can give me advice on what to do, thanks so much! And sorry it was long. (link)
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It is clear to me that your parents have got some unresovled issues which they haven't worked through.
You need to make it known to them that this is horrible for you to grow up with. Sit them down and tell them that all this fighting is hurting you a lot and you wish that they'd stop fighting.
They need to talk out their issues in a calm and adult way and see where that takes you. They need to work it out as one, not as two people talking. For that is the only way that they will get through this difficult period in their lives.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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well there is a guy that likes me and i like him back. we are both 16. but he wont do anything about it and im not really sure what to do about it either because i like to play hard to get and i think it is the guy's place to go after the girl but at the same time i really like this guy so i dont know what to do. this really hasnt happened to me before...we arent that close, but we have a few of the same friends and we talk just as friends whenever we see each other (link)
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There is always a first time for everything.
Now, some guys like to chase after girls who like to be hard to get, some don't and it seems that this guy doesn't like to play this game.
Talk to him about it because only when you've expressed your feelings for one and another, you can move on with the relationship.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Me and my mom are kind of close. We get along soemtimes but not really. I can't go to her for anything. She gets really involved in my sisters life and i think its weird. So i don't go to her for anything. But then she wonders why i don't go to her! I really want to take acting lessons and possibly model. i also kind of want to be in a pagent. i just can't get up the guts to tell my mom this. what if she doesn't think i should? HELP PLEASE! (link)
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Is there another relative whom you can talk to? Somebody whom you get on with in your family who will listen and talk to your mom about this?
They will ask why you don't you talk to your mum and you know the answer to that question since you wrote down!! Then they will talk to your mum and then when she approaches you, you cna talk it out with her because it won't be news to her and the two of you can talk on the same level.
The reason why she gets invovled isn't because she's nosy, it's because she wants to help her daughters as much as possible and see what they're doing in their lives. She's there to help and support you in anyway she wants and to respect the desicions which you make.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I'm a 16 year-old girl and my 15 year old (first) boyfriend says that I should change myself COMPLETELY just for him. And when I asked him why he's still with me and why he doesn't go to someone else he says it's because of all the sexual things he wants to do with me. I'm like..wtf..You don't respect me. You want me to change for YOUR sick pleasures...Well, I'm not going to change. It upsets me...because everything I seem to do, he's not happy with. The way I dress, act...He LOVES the way I look. And that's about it.
I'm on the verge of breaking up with him. We've been together for a month and 2 weeks. Do you think I should give him another chance? (link)
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There is no way that you should give him another chance. You were absolutely right not to change for him, plus, you cannot change the person who you are just to please somebody else.
Leave him and wait for somebody to come to you, if you look then you might choose somebody who doesn't treat well either.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I've been in this relationship with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. I'm 18, he's 22. I'd like to call it serious, but it's the first relationship I've had that I would even consider calling it serious, so I don't know for sure.
My question is this: when, if at all, would be a good time to talk to him about the future? I mean it's pretty obvious we're going to be together a long time. Since we're both in college now, I feel like it would be a good idea to at least have some general outline for the future of our relationship, as in whether we're going to get married or not and basically what our future goals are.
Of course I don't want to put things in stone, but I've wanted to talk about this with him for awhile and I just don't know if it's a good time.
Early in our relationship, like pretty much all couples do, we would talk about our house and kids and stuff, but only in a cute way and I don't consider that as being serious.
Advice? Similar situations? (link)
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First, you've got to believe that it can continue. If one isn't sure, then the other isn't.
If you wait any longer, the more difficult it will be to tell him what you want for the future. Tell him and see what he says. Remember, the both of you have grown up and matured, so the both of you can take this very seriously and see what you want to do.
Let it come out gently and don't rush into it, otherwise it will get awkward.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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In life, I like to be polite to everyone. This has become a problem because whenever I hang out with my guy friends. At least one of them starts to like me and think that I like them back. I really try not to act flirty but its getting to the point where I'm losing my guy friends after having to turn them down. Its really bothering me, I miss just being friends with them. What do I do? (link)
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Well, you could tell them that you don't to have a relationship with them, because then, both of you won't get hurt and that you still want to be friends with them, just not too friendly, if you get my point.
It's obvious to me that you obviously don't have any interests in them, even though that you want to. That's fine. But you've got to say "No" before you're forced to turn them down. This is fine as well because you're saving yourself from the agony of breakup later.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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I just got out of a relationship of about 11 months, and it was my longest relationship and also a very abusive, crazy one. I finally broke up with him in December and while I was slowly ending it with him I actually met someone new that I realized I had feelings for. This new guy (Mike) is 4 years older than me, age doesn't matter to us now though, but my problem, is that he doesn't show constant love towards me. If he does its like on and off, its never all the time since we've been seeing each other. When I try to talk to Mike about it he says it's because sometimes he doesn't "trust" me because we've had a lot of problems in the past. I'll name some so you can understand the relationship better.
One night I had a bunch of people at my house and we were all drinking, I started to get really drunk and I pretty soon couldn't even stand up by myself, so i started leaning on Mikes cousin (Mike wasn't near me, and his cousin was sitting in a chair unlike the rest of us so that was easier to lean on), so my hand was on his leg, Mike took it the wrong way and flipped out. Being drunk I obviously got really emotional, and started crying and it was really embarrassing so I just went out with a few friends and tried to blow it off. When I got back I could barely walk and everyone was yelling at me, he called me a bunch of names so I hit him. I would never do that if I was sober but thats the way I handled it because of my past relationship. He stormed off and left me, so I just slept out at a friends that night. He ended up going back to my house and slept there because he was waiting up for me, but how was I suppose to know that? The next day he came over to talk, and told me that his original plan was to never to talk to me again, and he made it seem like it was all my fault, I tried to tell him that I was drunk and I honestly didn't know what I was doing, but he just kept telling me that I was so wrong, and it was all my fault and he should hate me, so I just let him be right and told him I was sorry. I also made the decision not to drink anymore.
That was last weekend, this weekend, we've been arguing again, but not while I've been drunk, Friday night we went to a party, and he was drinking, (I wasn't) and he was acting SO amazing towards me, really lovey, always wanting to be around me, he even went to the store and bought me a rose! Later that night I questioned his "lovey dovey"-ness because he's never usually like that, and he flipped out, probably because he was drunk, and he just wanted to go downstairs and pass out, but i really wanted to work things out, so I kept going downstairs to talk to him, and everytime I would walk away, he would just fall asleep. Every time he would ever walk away from me during a fight, I would chase after him. He ended up just coming upstairs with me in my room and sleeping with me, we blew it off.
My point is, I've given up so much for him, drinking, going out all the time. and I don't think it's always my fault when we fight but I'm too scared to REALLY stick up for myself because I know he'll freak out and leave me because it's only the beginning, I've tried to tell him that he's messing with my head, but he says "fine then we're done I'm not going to mess with your head anymore" and thats not what I want! So I just deal with what he says, and hopefully we just forget about it and move on like we always do. Another thing, we're not officially Boyfriend and Girlfriend. We were before but we kept fighting like we are now so we decided just so act like we're going out? but not with the label. If he loves me he should just want to be with me shouldn't he? But I just want him in any way I can have him. Is it really all me? Am I just crazy, how can I make him want to change and show me love but not lose him completely? If you say I can't make him want to change, than what can I do? (link)
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I have to agree. Leave him before things get out of hand. It will save you a lot of pain, physically and mentally. You cannot keep on holding out for him, though he has helped you to get off drink though and that i consider to be a good thing. If he isn't willing to give up drink for you, he isn't right for you.
There is somebody else out there who's truely worthy of you, not him.
This may or may not be the answer which you might want, but it's for the best.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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me and my bestie do everything together. i mean EVERYTHING. we have a group of like 25-30 friends that all hang out together and get together weekends and stuff, but me and her are ALWAYS together outside of that and we sometimes just hang out alone of course when we are feeling less social. but well we've been best friends for 5 years now and we've only been through one bump like 2 years ago and it was just a whatever thing. but we are so attached...i dont know what i am going to do when we go off to college. she is way smarter than me so there is like no way we'd go to the same school. and we talk about it sometimes and it usually endes in our reminising about things and becoming sad. will i be able to make a lot of friends in college that i will be compatible with? im the type of person thats going to need someone there to help me cope with everything. of course ill still call my bestie!! but i mean im def gonna need someone to help me through the college life as well and i just need reasurance that i will be able to have that... (link)
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I can completly relate to that. 3 years ago, i left my prep-school (i was in the final year). I had all these really good friends whom i didn't want to leave and i didn't know how i would cope in my new one. We had our bumps but we got over them.
So we all went to our different schools, but some went to the same school, that wasn't the case with me. I went to a school with nobody familiar around me and that was scary, plus I had to board!!
But after mingling with some people, I made a few friends and today, i look around and realise that these people have become my new friends, even though you can't recognise it because you were so used to your old friends, but somehow you fit in with these people and they become part of your new 'family'. You help each other and they help you, building a bond between the two.
I kept in contact with my friends, but rarely.
So, yes, i do think that you will make friends because (and remeber this), you're all in the same boat. Your all in a new place, new things to learn, new people to meet. Just let them reach out to you and soon, you'll look back and see that they've become your new friends.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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16-f dating 17-m
ok well me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year now but i have NO CLUE what to get him for our year anniversery we are soo close and are very much in love he's not into much of anything his life revolves around me.
i dont have much money because i havent get a job yet or whatever but maybe i might get one by then but idk... (link)
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Get him something simple. Something which comes from your heart and something which he will cherish.
A picture of you in a very nice photo frame would be nice because he could put it on his desk. You could make the frame because it will show him the thought which went into it. Or how about going to the cinema with him and seeing a film which you both want to see?
Not chocolates because they will be eaten and no thought would be in them. Flowers will eventually die.
It's just the thought that counts.
I hope that this helps,
triquetra
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ok so first prob
1.last year was my first year at the middle skool i go to. my 2 best friends(they are in 8th i was in 6th) went with me to the first dance of the year.we do this thing where we look around for ramdom hot guys and whoever is picke dfor us we "have to" like. well they picked out this guy in my homeroom and almost all of my classes.so for the rest of the night i pretended to like him. then about halfway through the year i started to accually like him. we had become really good friends and he was always flirting with me so i thought he liked me. So at the end of the year i told him that i liked him and he was like...i dont really like you but we are REALLY good friends.for the rest of the summer i wad depressed and i just recently gto over him.(i think)so we are in the same science class and yesterday we were talking and it seemed like he liked me. im so confused. help me understand him please! (link)
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Some guys get confused by their own feelings towards girls. He at the moment would just like the two of you to be friends.
He only acts like he likes you because he wants the two of you to remain friends and that would mean to send out the signals that he likes you, but in a different way.
If somebody likes somebody else but would only like to be friends with them, showing them that they like them helps, but some people look at the signals in a different way and think that they want to have a realtionship with them. This seems to be the case here.
Just take it slow for a while and if his behaviour doesn't change, then he only wants to be friends with you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Alright here is the deal i need a song that me and my boyfriend can call ours. But i dont want it to be just another frilly love song that has really nothing to do but love. I want a song that has to do kinda with our life and our love. See iv lived a kinda bad life and iv been through hell and back and when he met me i was down in the dirt lower than you can get, and he picked me up and hes my night in shining armor. I want our song to have something to do with life being hard and thinking of the worst and then someone coming to save you. But if anyone can give me any good love songs that will be very well appreciated. Thanks
Short N Punky (link)
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My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion.
Endless Love - Mariah Carey.
Without You - Mariah Carey.
I Will Always Love You - Whiteny Houston.
Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey (this would be my surggestion to you).
Here I Am - Leona Lewis.
Yesterday - Leona Lewis.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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so my best guy friend and i are really close
and we even hooked up for fun
then i started to like him
but i didnt tell him
so he started liking this other girl
i ended up telling him that i like him
but now him and the girl are going out
i still like him
and they've been together for a month
i've tried getting over him but its so hard
and i cant forget about him because he is my best friend
and we talk alot
i was thinking that i could wait for the relationship to end
but it hurts when he talks about her
i usually help him with his problems
so he tells me whats going on
what do i do? :/
*confused&&inlove*
[15/f] (link)
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There is not a lot which you can do. Ask him to help you get through this, you've helped him in the past, now it's his turn to help you back.
Explain that you're finding it hard to let him go because you love him so much. Allow him to help you even if it seems bad advice, but he needs to understand that it's hard for you to see him going out with somebody else when you've got feelings for him, very strong feelings i might add.
If you don't want to do this, then try another option. Hang out with the rest of your friends, have fun, enjoy life. Don't get suppressed because he's going out with somebody else, live life to the full before going into a realtionship and see how you feel afterwards. Don't expect any results to show to quickly, remember, the more time you have fun, the less time you've got to think about him.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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my husband has always called me names he does not defend me to his family who is always cutting my looks down dosent even act like he cares he has hit me and used to say i am sorry he dosent care if he sees me or sleeps sexual with me he dosent care if i am around when we go anywhere he also dosent care if i go to a bar or flirt with other people he also complains about not being able to whatch other women to my sons and other people and to me he said i am all he has to look at besides the wall am i a fool? (link)
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I'm so sorry for taking so long to get back to you, it's been rather difficult lately finding time to look at the column.
Now, there has to be a reason as to why he's behaving like this, there's got to and you need to find out what. NO loving partner in this world treats his partner like this unless he had a reason.
The best way to do this would be to ask him directly. Sit him down and say that you want to talk to him about this. Tell him that it really hurts you, the way he treats you like as if your just another one of his possessions and that his family makes fun of how you look, when you obviously do your best to please them and him.
Begin by asking him the one question which you may not like to ask, it's up to you. Ask him whether he loves you. I know that this may be an absurd question to ask but it's the only way you'll ever know, if he looks taken aback, then he does and will surely ask you why did you ask. Relpy with the second paragraph.
Any further help, please feel free to pop another question into my inbox.
I hope i helped,
triquetra
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I live in Iowa. Is that far away? lol Where do you live? (link)
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I was talking about you and your boyfriend, not the distance between me and you. Please remain on the question.
***
You can give me all the two's you want, but you didn't stick with the question, not to ask where i live, if you wanted to know, look at the column next time.
***
In response to that, I'm a very busy person and cannot deal with questions when their misinterpreted and get another question which leads off topic to other personal matters. I'm not being mean, but consider the amount of work which I've got to deal with at school as well as this column and it's very stressful.
I'm sorry about the last response and i would still like to help you.
triquetra
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this isn't textbook abuse but, my guy friend always has to make it known
that i am stupid, ugly or w/e. he makes it his priority to smack me in the
head you know that "V-8" thing in front of ppl. like he's trying to break
me. I know this isn't that "oooo he likes you" cause he does it to every
girl that he's friends with, except one. sometimes all i wanna do is cry
becuase some of his comments are so rude and mean. i am so sick of it. i
wanna leave and not be friends with him but my bff girl is like "your just
being stupid he isn't that bad" ofcourse shes the one that isn't verbally
abused. what do i do???/ help me. (link)
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Tell him driectly not to do it anymore. You should tell him all that you put in your question; it's mean, hurtful and you don't think its funny whilst others think so.
I disagree with the first person. Telling people to fuck off isn't the best way to do this because he could've been told this thousands of times and yet he still does it.
Tell him where you stand and to set boundaries.
Ignore what your friends say because it is your own personal life which he's spoiling and you should be the only one to decide about what you should or shouldn't do, nobody else can tell you that.
Tell your friend that it really hurts you, the way in which he treats you. Point out to her that she may find it ok, but you don't. Everybody in the whole world reacts differently to different things, and this is a classic case of one; one finds it funny whilst the other feels hurt.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok I know i've promised my bf that id never breack up with him, but i need to know, IS he boyfriend material? It seems that EVERY two days, he's allways saying...well you don't need me, and i don't think i can do this anymore.then i remind him that he promised that hed never break up with me. so he stays with me. Well, i'm done with that. Another thing is, yesterday, he compleatly cutt me off. He icnored me, never returned my call, and never even botherd to freakin give a call. NOw in the mean time, my feelings for this one guy are growing stronger, and i know he likes me, but a part of me dosn't wanna let my bf go. So is my bf exactlly bf matereial? Or am I the crazy one here?Cause i just know as his over a year gf, I deserve to have my hand held-huged-and NOT shod off every five mins. Also a call every now and the, and an email, or note when he says he'll write me, and NOT to be yelled at when i ask about it. I'm open to any thoughts. thanks (link)
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Now, keep in mind that this is what i think, you've got to make the decision in the end.
Ask him whether he wants to continue the realtionship, and from the sound of it, he doesn't. Relationships are very difficult to keep going because the couple have to the be dedicated to it and it may be that he doesn't feel ready for this yet.
If he doesn't want to continue it, break up with him. BUT wait for a while because if you go straight to the other guy, it may hurt his feelings even more because he deosn't want to break up anymore that you do, but he doesn't feel ready for this yet.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
***Add on***
Who lives far away? pop the question into my inbox.
triquetra
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hey i'm sorry for bugging you, but i just wanted to clarify some stuff i mentioned. *mark* never went out w/that girl..he has family in europe and that girl happened to be there at the same time so they planned to meet up, which didn't happen. second,the guy in the picture wasn't half naked, it was just a picture, he assumed the swimmer was half naked. and i just got an email from him saying he's sorry for running out on me when he saw me go into the computer lab, he was late for class. i mean he could just be an extremely sensitive guy and a gentleman. and you're right, i guess i do send mixed signals too, but that's also partly influenced by his signs. based on this do you think he still is interested? thank you again. (link)
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Hey, i'm never bugged so it's completely fine, ask all the questions you want. Sorry if i got a few bits wrong.
Firstly, do you think he's interested? He said sorry for one thing which is a good sign and even I mistook the picture to be a half-naked guy and i've never seen it!! See? We boys always tend to jump to conclusions, especially if it's about a somebody we care for or love.
So, yes, i do think he's still interested in you, just not sure of what he's feelings are. We all get nervous when it comes to a realtionship because we never know what our feelings are.
Talk to him about this. You really want to go out with him, don't you? And really, he wants to go out, but not sure about it. Ask him to think about how he feels, don't pressurise him and wait until he makes his decision which might take a while or he might take a short time, nobody knows what's going through his mind or what emotions he's feeling (even i don't). Give him some space and let him come to the decision himself.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Okay, I really like Adam but I always sound so stupid when I talk to him. I have no problem talking to guys- half of my friends are guys, but when it comes to Adam all I do is flip my hair and giggle. Laugh is out of the question...
I--GIGGLE.
On AIM I talk to him, and I always start the conversation. And it's always about random stuff and what not.
I also while talking to him change my voice How?
I donno I can't even catch myself from doing it. But How do i stop myself from making a fool of myself infront of him. (link)
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You're trying to hard to impress him. When we talk to people whom we like, we do tend to act not like our normal selves.
Just think of him as a normal guy and like all the others, he's no different to them. Keep that in mind and you'll be fine.
As for the AIM, let him do some of the talking, if he wants to say something, let him start the conversation. Sometimes he may want to start, sometimes not. But if you talk to him regularly, break it up a little and wait for a few days before starting another converstion because then, you'll have something new to tell him and it won't be random.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i am completely and totally in love with my boyfriend. i have never met a guy as amazing to me as he is. he is the definition of perfect in my eyes..and he says hes in love with me. he shows me all the time how much he cares for me and i know its not just some little fling..it cant be. ive just been thinking lately how long can this honestly last? we were best friends before we dated..and we have been dating for two months now..it feels like we have been together forever and things only get better. but i mean ive been worried that things are going to turn for the worse because ive never had a guy like this.. what are the chances that we will stay together? we are both 16..i know its young but i can honestly say i love him and it would kill me if i lost him..it feels so real..could it be? (link)
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It will only last if you play the right cards. Remain in love with him and as he is love with you, and never let anything can get in the way of it. What the two of you have is something which some people want and some dream about; you've got a guy which you realy love and you want the relationship to last and it's perfect. As long as the two of you talk to each other and if any issues arise (which i doubt there will, but in case), then the two of you should talk and listen to each other and work through the issue together, as one.
16 isn't too young to have a relationship, it's the right times because you're learning about who you are and who you want to be with and this is the right time to experiance love.
Good luck with the two of you in the future,
triquetra
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i asked before about this guy i liked (call him *mark*), and wasn't sure how he felt about me..and i'm still unsure. i previously wrote how i found out he was going to paris w/this girl over winter break and i thought i had no chance anymore, yet he would still touch my arm and laugh at my jokes and smile.everyone who responded said that he is interested, and i thank you so much for your advice b/c i needed it! over break i emailed him while he was in europe and me out of town, just to see how things were going, and to show i think about him, that's as much guts as i could muster. well he wrote a lot, even sent me pictures of him there, so i thought okay at least he's comfortable around me as a friend and eager to respond. once school began, i asked how paris was, he said the girl he was supposed to meet up with just ditched him, didn't even show up and doesn't know why. now i didn't ever like this girl and i think that was so harsh to leave him like that and not keep her promise, but i wonder why she'd do that, and why he wouldn't prod into it. okay. so now he doesn't touch my arm, but he still laughs at stuff i say ,for example i remark that the limited hours for the local pool is stupid. he laughs, he really enjoys it. i know that's lame but just to show how easy he is around me, i guess. and he's a soccer player yet he's brought up how he wants to swim, i'm a swimmer, i wonder if he's trying to share a common hobby. and when he asked about my trip, he was sitting across the table but then he leaned forward, i've heard that's a good sign too, and when this other guy would remark on stuff i'd say i realized *mark* would be looking at me. then the next time he saw me he said "hey" but it sounded meaningful, yet the whole time i was there he practically ignored me and was talking to that other dude. and then the third time we meet up(he studies w/our same group of friends in this room so i always stop by), i mention to my friend, who swims like me, that i saw a picture of this male swimmer (she thinks he's hot), and all i said was, "hey i saw his picture in this swim magazine" and *mark* all of a sudden says to me "why do you make a big deal out of him? do you have to see him shirtless, you like it?" and i go "it's not a big deal *mark*" i was shocked, i honestly didn't know what to say. then he retorts "yeah well the magazine didn't Force you to look at his picture." i mean, what's up w/that??i didn't know what to say, he just snapped at me all of a sudden, and was looking at the floor the whole time, it was a little funny b/c it came out of nowhere, but i'm so confused, was he jealous? today he saw me going into the computer lab so i could study while he was on his way to class w/our group of friends, and after class everyone but him came over to talk to me. i didn't go over to see him at his usual study spot today, b/c i felt that if he liked me he'd find a stupid excuse to come into the computer room just to see me. he's been sending so many mixed signals, and i've been wasting my time thinking about it and i don't want to anymore, i want to move on,b/c it hurts. i don't understand, he knows some girls i bet, but he sees me more than other girls, and i'm sure he doesn't feel as inclined to laugh w/them as he does w/me. and it's not just our humour, he gets me, and i him. i'm so sorry for this being super long and scattered, and this is abridged!! but i would appreciate it so much if anyone can help!!! thank you! (link)
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It sounds as if he's on the rebound. This girl breaks up with him for no reason when he's away, he comes back all subdued and upset, which would explain as to why he doesn't touch your arm anymore because it could remind him of his recent break up.
The way he reacted to the photo tells me that he's got feelings for you, but looking at a half-naked guy in a magazine could tell him that you're not interested in him anymore. Going into the computer room and not seeing him could be helping him think this way. I can see you've got extremly good intentions, but he's mis-interperating those signals.
What to do: go to him and tell him that you're still interested in him, but he's giving out all of these mixed signals and with all of these mood swings, you don't know how he feels about you. Ask him how he feels about you and then see what happens.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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