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When is it okay to talk about the future?
I've been in this relationship with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. I'm 18, he's 22. I'd like to call it serious, but it's the first relationship I've had that I would even consider calling it serious, so I don't know for sure.
My question is this: when, if at all, would be a good time to talk to him about the future? I mean it's pretty obvious we're going to be together a long time. Since we're both in college now, I feel like it would be a good idea to at least have some general outline for the future of our relationship, as in whether we're going to get married or not and basically what our future goals are.
Of course I don't want to put things in stone, but I've wanted to talk about this with him for awhile and I just don't know if it's a good time.
Early in our relationship, like pretty much all couples do, we would talk about our house and kids and stuff, but only in a cute way and I don't consider that as being serious.
Advice? Similar situations?
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If this guy feels about you the same way you feel about him, than he is probably thinking the same exact way you are, and any time is right to talk about the future. The future is always a day ahead. Just bring it up, it's not like he'll leave you for talking about it right? What do you have to lose?
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It seems that now is the perfect time to talk about your future, since you are both in a transitional time of life. It is important at this stage to find out if your life goals mesh and to at least obtain a general idea of where you both want to be in 2, 5, and 10 years.
It would be great to cover areas such as the future of your relationship (getting married, having kids), housing (living together, renting, buying), careers (both having jobs, homemaking).
Obviously, nothing has to be permanently decided on right away. A nice chat over coffee or tea, or while taking a walk, or any other way you like to casually converse, could easily give you a picture of what you both really want out of life.
Good luck!
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First, you've got to believe that it can continue. If one isn't sure, then the other isn't.
If you wait any longer, the more difficult it will be to tell him what you want for the future. Tell him and see what he says. Remember, the both of you have grown up and matured, so the both of you can take this very seriously and see what you want to do.
Let it come out gently and don't rush into it, otherwise it will get awkward.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I think now is a very good time.
You have been together for 3 years,
that is a pretty good sign of
seriousness!
You do need to be talking about
kids and marriage to make sure
you both have the same feelings
on the subject. It doesn't have
to mean you are engaged or that
you will marry. What it does do
is keep you from wasting your
time if you don't both have the
same kind of future in mind.
If you plan on having a couple of
kids for instance and find out he
never wants kids at all...well, it
will be time to decide. Do I waste
time on a relationship that has no
future for me? Or do I need to be
looking for Mr right?
I am going to guess you already
know each other pretty well. I
doubt you will have to make a
decision like that. But you need
to know for sure. Talk. :)
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