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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I will go with it straight: I have this little cousin - he's in like third or second grade - that is down right...inappropriate. See his parents aren't exactly the best ones there are, which I feel so very sorry about, really, his dad is my uncle and he's a great guy but throughly irresponsible. His mom is nice too but like I said: they avoid responsibilities. Sorry I went off topic. I just wanted you to know that I do indeed feel sympathy for him, but his actions sometimes really...set me off. My grandparents tend to him like he's their own son - which is not necessarily bad - and therefore always got him whatever he wanted with no exception - which is the bad part. He's idol - unfortunately - is my brother and therefore anything my brother has, he needs to have, anything my brother does he needs to do. He's really loud and disrespectful:
-When nobody's paying attention to him because they're having a VERY important conversation, he jumps right in to scream nonsense like: LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT THIS!
-He is per-ver-ted: He loves it when on TV shows a man or a woman show private parts (even though they don't show it) and he made a comment to my mom and dad that I will not repeat because it makes really nauseous and dirty.
-He is always getting sick: Sometimes he fakes it, other times it's for real so it's really hard to tell when he's really sick, like when has (shudder) diarreah or vomit. Yuck.
The worst part is that nobody really...makes him understand that the stuff he does or says are wrong. Oh, something I forgot: he disrespects my grandfather, greatly. And my grandmother defends him.
The last time my brother was in the hospital me and my sister had to go with my grandparents to their house (it was 11pm) and you know what they did? They went over to my cousin's other grandparents's house, woke them up, and took my cousin with us (they put up the excuse that he would probably still be awake and that he would be immensely bored because they didn't have any electronically devices thy my brother liked). My cousin was fast asleep when they picked him up. My sister and I literally went to sleep at 1am because of their impulse. Plus I'm pretty sure they made my cousin's other grandparents feel really bad by taking him.
All in all: What in the world can I do? Don't say wait until your older and move out or live with please, I've already been dealing with him for five years. Just remember, I'm not saying I hate him, I just wish he could be a little bit more...sane.
The fact that you did not give your age makes answering you just a bit tougher. You say;"I've already been dealing with him for five years." I could and will take this to mean you are at least 12 years old.
IF I am correct then from what you have written; your cousin is somewhat a normal 7 year old doing what most all children of his age and age difference to you always do. Yes, from what you have written your grandparents do seem to show him a bit of favoritism. Unfortunately grandparents have a tendency to do this. I myself am guilty of that transgression with any child I deem to be somewhat under privileged or emotionally or physically handicapped.
As a young pre-teen or teenager going through puberty as well. The actions of a child this age can be annoying if not down right obnoxious at times for you. The problem is there is not a lot you can do about it for he is family and you are two young to go up to your Aunt or Uncle and tell them they need to get their act together and be better parents.
One day you too will become a parent. When it happens it is a scary time for when that child comes into the world it does not come with a handbook of how to be a good parent. We learn on the job and hopefully we are mature enough to recognize the responsibility and can draw upon the good way we were raised to start with.
I know this last part does not help you today. What you can do is when you around your cousin is to try and show him better ways to act. Say when he tries to draw attention to himself. You could say to him; "Billy they are talking you should wait for them to finish before you ask for something or start talking. Correct him gently when you see him doing something wrong. You are allowed to correct him especially if you see him doing something that could hurt him. You are not allowed to discipline him except if you are baby sitting for him. Discipline is strictly the role of the parents.
If there is nothing else you can do then try to get away from him. Go to your room and close and lock you door. This way he cannot just walk in he will have to knock. He probably won't knock he will either scream your name or kick at the door. This is another time for you to teach him how to properly get your attention when your door is closed
Other than what I have advised I cannot think of anything else that you can do for the moment or at least for the next five or six years.
I am not a very strong person and I'm not sure why. I walk around 7km a day in the morning before work and I do all of the house work at home. I know I shouldn't feel strong from doing so little exercises but I shouldn't feel weak. My diet is rich and varied and has more than enough protien and other nutrients it baffles me.
We are not doctors and this is the type of question that needs a doctors answer.
You should first see a doctor to rule out any organic causes for feeling week. If there are none then I suggest you see a nutritionist. Having a good diet that you think is rich in all the right nutrients may be that you are not getting enough of these nutrients to offset what you are burning.
Working with a nutritionist who can review what you taking in versus what your expending can tell you if you taking in enough calories a day for your over all activities. Three good meals a day may not be enough. You might need more something like your three good meals and snacks in between with one of those snacks being a heavy snack to maintain you between two meals. This is where working with a nutritionist can be a great help.
How long did it take you to learn to touch type?
When I was in high school typing or key boarding which I believe it is now called was an elective. I took this class as an elective an have been able to maintain some of those skills even though it was many decades ago. I still need to look at the key board for security when typing as there were several decades between this class and the advent of the computer age.
If you are still in school or have a community college that offers keyboarding I would suggest taking this class. Now that we are well into the computer age this is a must have skill that you can only improve upon once learned.
Do you have any tips you can give me? At the moment I walk around 7km maybe a little more but want to start jogging. When I was younger I walked around the same distance and started jogging by doing it a bit at a time i.e. I would job to a street sign then walk then when I could jog to another land mark. Doing this twice a day over time enabled me to jog at least 40% of the route I took which is something I would like to do again. IS that the best way to achieve my goal? Is there something else I can do to improve? Id love to be able to jog the entire route which is around 7km or more. Is it ok to walk/jog that far twice in one day? In the morning and at night; or is that too much?
That is one good way to do so. Another would be to a high school track and do your walking and training to get back into jogging as it gives you a better set of objectives to work with.
You start by walking the track then jogging one of the turns and walking both of the straightaways then when you are up to it jog both of the turns. Then transition to jogging one of the straightaways and walking the rest of the track. You keep adding more jogging until
you are able to jog the entire track comfortably for the entire 7KM you wish to jog. Once you reach this goal you can leave the safety and security of the track for a more interesting jogging route.
Hello, I am a 14 year old girl and I masturbate. As imbarrased as I may be, this could be serious. Last night I was masturbating with 2 fingers. I played around a bit and when I pulled them out, I notices a little blood. I then took a wet wipe and put it in to see how much blood there was. Not much, but enough to make me worry. It was a light red color and yes, I am still a virgin. I am worried that I hurt something because I was a bit rough. Please help I'm scared!
First of all I doubt you have anything to worry about. Being a virgin means that you have not been sexually penetrated by a male penis. So if you have not torn your hymen by using tampons it is possible that the rough masturbation has torn you hymen or you may have scratched yourself with a finger nail.
If you did dislodge your hymen or scratch yourself there is nothing to be concerned about unless you continue to bleed or you bleed each time you masturbate. Then it would be advisable to see a GYN.
Now since you are 14 years old you can do so without your parents knowledge or consent if you feel you need to and need to do so without telling your parents. By a Federal Law known as HIPPA anyone over the age of 14 may seek medical treatment without parental consent or knowledge for any problem related to their reproductive system. What you have written about qualifies under this description.
Under this law you may make an appointment, see the doctor be treated by the doctor all without parental knowledge or permission. Neither the doctor or anyone else in the office may release any information about what you see the doctor for or are treated for without your written permission. To do so subjects then to 5 years in prison.
These visits are entirely confidential so that young adults can speak openly and frankly with the doctor so that they may be properly cared for. This is the intent behind this portion of the HIPPA Law. No judge will violate this provision as it has stood the test of the U S Supreme Court.
In short if you feel you need to be seen by a doctor you can so in total confidentiality. Should mom go with you just say to the doctor or nurse you invoke your HIPPA rights and mom will be told she needs to stay in the waiting room.
Your parents health insurance will pay for the visit and all your parents will see is an (EOB)explanation of benefits showing you visited a doctor, the charges, the amount paid and the date. If you wish while you are with the doctor, even though you are a virgin, you can discuss with the doctor birth control medication not just for birth control but to normalize your menstrual cycle.
Hope this helps.
In a love triangle, the other woman told me that the man told her I am good but she is better. I ask the man about it, he replied she is lying. Up to now he stated he is lying and left her.
Who is telling the truth?
This is one of those questions that is all but impossible to answer as we do not know anyone involved. There is also to little information on which to base an answer on.
What I will say is this: If you do not trust him then you do not have a great foundation for a relationship to build upon. I would then suggest that you should consider finding someone else.
what is ovulation? or ovucalation? i dont know how its spelled, sorry.
Dragonflymagic Is correct in about what she has written. About 80% ovulate on this type of cycle. The remaining 20% of women can ovulate at anytime during their cycle including when they have their period. This is why the rhythm method of birth control fails as much as it does.
Their is a ovulation kit you can purchase at your local pharmacy that can help you track when you ovulate and are most fertile. Even though I am a male I believe knowing when during your cycle, even if on birth control, you are ovulating and most fertile is something every women should know.
I hope this additional information is useful to you
so my friend of 14 years(she's 22, i'm 19), is trying to have a baby with her fiance, but he isnt able to "make good swimmers"(best way i can think to put it) and so she turns to me and asks for mine, since we've been friends since like, grade school. being a good friend, i think that i'd just donate, BUT here's where my question comes in. she wants to have in naturally, so like intercourse. she's talked it with her fiance and so have i, and he's totally fine with it, but i feel kinda...awkward. should i go through with it? cuz she says i'm her only choice for it
It's funny to see this question on here for many years ago I was in the same position as you are now. I was asked to donate my sperm to very good friends of mine.
The husband and I were like brothers from other mothers. He and his wife and me and my wife were all very good friends. We had children and they were unable too. We felt bad for them and were willing to do most anything to help them. Since he and I looked very much a like the thought of my sperm being donated would produce a child that would look like them.
Turning them down was the hardest thing I ever did. We have remained friends as close as ever. When I explained my reasoning they understood.
First: doing so would almost certainly ended our friendship something I felt and they also agreed neither of would ever want.
Second: was how I felt being called Uncle by a child that was actually mine. Yes my wife and I were to be the godparents and we were to be the child's guardian in the event anything happened to our friends. Still the child would know us as Aunt and Uncle.
Last, we also discussed how to go about donating. Natural insemination was the best choice as it didn't involve doctors or a lot of money. We went as far as to discus that his wife, who no one would kick out of bed, would spend the time she is most fertile together in a hotel having three days of sex.
As much as I might have enjoyed three days of sex with his wife, even with my wife's permission it is still cheating on our spouses. This is were our friendship would be most vulnerable.
In the end I felt the cons out weighed the pros of donating to them. As others said there are other ways for then to have a child or to adopt. It is best that they look at one of those ways.
How can i tell wether my bf has a boner
There are several questions here today that all seem to be from the same person which I believe to be you. These questions tell me your sexual knowledge is woefully lacking as these types of questions and answers should have been covered in Sex Ed or by mom when she had "The Talk with you."
Before I answer anymore of these questions I would like to know how old you are and why you are so unaware or lacking of sexual knowledge? Has mom explained any of this to you? Is there a reason why mom or even dad cannot answer these questions? As a parent it is there responsibility to educate you in this area.
IF you are willing to tell me the truth in why they won't educated you in this area or you cannot ask these questions of them, then I may be willing to step in and take their place in telling you what is generally called the facts of life.
Just for the record I am probably old enough to be your grandfather. I do not have a problem with and considered very liberal when it comes to areas of sex and sexual education. In you case I would like to know why your parents are not doing their job before I answer any more of your questions.
Why did my bf get a boner when he fingered me lol awkward question
I would be very surprised if he didn't. When he fingered you he got sexually excited. When a male gets sexually excited they will get an erection. It is simple human nature.
When a female gets sexually excited their vagina's become wet. This happens to prepare their vagina for sexual intercourse or penetration by fingering in this case. A females nipples will also become hard when she is sexually excited or if the are cold.
So as I first stated you should be concerned if a boyfriend did not get an erection when fingering you; even though you may not have planned to have intercourse. Fingering is part of foreplay when you do eventually plan to have intercourse.
i am a 13 years old boy.i am not very fat but little fat.when i do push ups i feel pain in my lower abdomen.what is it?Could anybody tell what is it and what are good exercises for a 13 year old boy??
Help.
Zane';s advice to see a doctor is good advice as push-ups should not cause you abdominal pain. It is also possible you are doing something wrong in the manner in which you are doing your push-ups.
Since you are 13 I would believe the best person to show you what are the best exercises for someone your age are? Would be any of the physical education instructors at school. Some schools even have after school exercise programs supervised by the physical education teachers. If your school is one of then I would suggest you look into joining; after seeing a doctor about your abdominal pain.
Over the summer your school district may also offer so type of exercise program as part of a summer activity program. Ask about it and see if it is of interest to you. It is probably not part of summer school program. It is either something the school(s) offers as a summer activity or the city or county parks and recreations department offers.
The first thing though is to ask mom or dad to arrange for you to see your doctor to make sure you have not injured a muscle.
Why do i feel like this everyday? What can i do?
I know everyone has seen something like this before. I have looked at other peoples questions like this but they are not the answers i'm looking for. I'm 17. I hate my parents more than anyone. I have one person who used to be my friend but i don't like him anymore. If i bump into an object/wall i get angry and punch it or kick it. I hate everything about myself. I'm pessimistic about everything. I used to think about suicide but then i realized its everyone else who is my problem and i wish they would die or get out of my life completely. The only things i love at all would be my 2 dogs. and surfing the internet after i play with my dogs. That;s my life now, it's summer , but i am stuck here at my room, i don't want to go out, may father is always intrusive what i am doing, when i go out with friends, just once a week last month, when i got home he always do say i am flirting with a boy(im bi, and he knows it). That's why i never get out with my friends anymore. It change me a lot what my father treat me. I am not social at all. The friends i used to have came to me i didn't go to them. Sometimes i can manage to act happy but really inside i want to put a hole in something. I am so mad with my father, last 2 months he punched me, and kick me in my leg, just because i forgot to feed his chicken, i am eating that time and i said to him, wait i will just finish my breakfast, and he yelled at me saying you respondent idiot, he cussed me while im eating, thats what happen, then he punched me and kick me. Not only that, much more. I wish he die, i tell my mom all the time when im pissed of him. I don't know where to release my anger towards my father. And because of this i am always offer profanity, to anyone even to my mother. When my father got home, i shut to my bedroom. I have been this way for 2 years and i only get angrier by the year. Most of the things that used to make me happy are dead to me. My parents are getting sick of my constant angry attitude and violence toward inanimate objects and to my sister, and friends of my sister, i get angry all the time. I go to a "special" school full of the most idiotic people you can imagine. Really i'm not sure how much more i can take before i have a mental breakdown. Sometimes i am thinking hanging my self. :( need your advice guys . I am from philippines.
You definitely have some anger issues and may be depressed as well. We are not doctors so making a diagnoses is not something we can do for you.
One thing for sure from what you have written is your father is abusing you. In most countries child abuse is unlawful. I would think it is illegal in the PI though I am not familiar with the laws there and it has been over 40 years since I was stationed their at Clark, AFB. I also do not know at what age you are considered an adult in the PI for if you are considered an adult then your father hitting you is assault. which I know is illegal in the PI and you can go to the police. You can also move out of his house if you can afford to live on your own.
No matter what you decide to do about your fathers assaulting or abusing you. I believe that you need to seek a qualified psychologist to help you deal with your anger issues and possible depression. Properly dealing with these issues and what your father is doing to you is the only way to regain control over your life and feeling better.
hi. i just got my period and dont know what to say to my mom..... it feels really awkward talking like that. help!!!!!!
First getting your period has nothing to do with sex and all to do with a normal bodily functions of a young woman. So with that in mind there should be no reason to be embarrassed in telling your mom or even you dad.
How do you tell your mom? It is actually quite easy. Mom is already waiting for you to come to her. Mom knows when her first period arrived and expects yours will arrive around the same age.
What you do is go up to mom and say, "can I speak to you privately for a moment." Since there are very few things girls want to talk to their moms in private about; this will be a cue to mom that you want to tell her you got your period. So she will be expecting you to tell her so. She won't be shocked or upset as this, as I said it is a normal bodily function for a young lady.
This is when mom will take the time to tell you how to care for yourself and the difference between pads and tampons. This is also the time to talk to mom about using birth control to regulate your periods and to make your first appointment to see a gynecologist. For now that you are menstruating you need regular checkups
by a gynecologist each year along with your annual school physical.
Is anyone aware of an in patient treatment facility that helps with addictive behavior such as shoplifting NOT drug abuse?
I did a web search for treatment centers specializing in shoplifting. What was returned were treatment centers that specialize in drug and alcohol addiction. Nothing says anyone of these centers wouldn't be able to help you; just that none of them specialize in your addiction.
That being said treatment centers are generally for in-patient treatment of an addiction. I'm not sure, as I am not a doctor, as to whether or not an insurance company would pay for in patient treatment of your problem.
What I recommend is you find a Board Certified Psychiatrist to evaluate your problem. Most likely once the doctor has evaluated you, he or she will recommend talk therapy with a psychologist and continued visits with him or her as well. This is something I believe your insurance company will pay for if covered under your insurance program.
Should your psychiatrist believe you need in-patient treatment then your insurance company may pay for whatever amount of time your doctor requests and a facility will be found to treat you. The treatment you are seeking though all starts with a visit to a Board Certified Psychiatrist.
my 22 year old daughter is in jail for the next year for a hit and run. If she admitted what she did they would have gone easier on her but she refused. She was also drunk when the accident happened and she revealed to me she has a drinking problem. Something I was never able to see before. So I wonder, in jail you obviously won't have access to alcohol. Is one year away from it enough to be able to give it up? If so, then maybe a year in jail won't be a bad thing for her and she will learn some discipline and maybe realize because of her problem she lost her freedom.
I will not lie, it is kind of comforting to know exactly where she is everyday and know she is not out doing something dangerous.
if this is not enough though, what else can be done?
Unfortunately the answer to your question is both yes and no. The tendency along with the availability and opportunity to return to the dependency is generally very high.
The problem with problem drinkers is that they don't believe they have a problem. Until they do they will not give up drinking. For family members of a problem drinker this is truly a problem of being able to lead a horse to water but not being able to force the horse to drink.
Every alcoholic has to hit bottom before they will accept help. It is possible that being in prison and attending aa meetings in prison is her bottom. IT may not be if she has not accepted responsibility for the accident.
My brother in-law is 25 years sober and credits aa for saving him. His bottom was waking up in the drunk tank. In fact he also credits the cop who arrested him and getting him into aa for saving him. They are now and have been the best of friends since his arrest.
Just where the bottom is for your daughter no one can say. What I can offer you is this. While she is in jail and after she is released you could benefit greatly by attending al-anon meetings. Al-anon is a support group for friends and family members of people like your daughter. By meeting with others in similar situations you learn how to deal with your situation. Below is a link to the al-anon home page meeting locator page.
http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
Why did you decide to do your course? Do you like it? Is it changing you? Making you better more skilled at something? Can you use your new skills?
This is a very good question. One of which I'm not sure how to answer for it has been a very long time since I was in College.
To answer your last question first; was I able to use my new skills? That is both yes and no. I took most of my college courses while in the military as it was the most cost efficient way of doing so. At the time I thought when my contract with the Air Force was up I would become a fire fighter so most of my college courses were geared to fire fighting. I did become a fire fighter just not a career fire fighter. I volunteered with my local volunteer fire company.
I found that I had a gift for sales and sales marketing something I have made an excellent living at and enjoy. While I do enjoy fire fighting I did not enjoy doing so on a career basis.
TO answer the rest of your questions I will do so in this manner. When we are young just finishing High School many of us are not truly prepared or really know just what we want for our life's career. We have ideas or maybe infatuations with certain careers while others know exactly what they want or at least think they do. Still others do as their parents advise or tell them to.
What is common about any of this is the fact of a college education in a particular course of study. When you learn anything it changes you. You grow and mature in many different ways.
I know a doctor whose parents wanted him to be an engineer. He became one, a very good one but he wasn't happy. So in a mid-life decision he went back to school and became a doctor. What he learned as engineer has helped him in his practice as a doctor.
So to answer two of your other questions in the instance of my friend he learned new skills; used those skills. Went back to school to learn newer skills then combined the old and the new skills to make him a great doctor.
If the reason behind your questions is that you are still unsure of what you wish to major in then I suggest that you start with a Liberal Arts Education. You can do this at a local community college and receive a AA in Liberal Arts.
Then two years from now when you have matured some more, which you will, you can enter a regular college hopefully knowing what you want to major in. In this way you will have accomplished all the liberal arts part of any BA degree so all you have left to concentrate on is your major. You will also have saved a ton of money by doing so.
This method also gives you the opportunity to further investigate those areas of interest to you through internship or job followings during semester breaks or over summer breaks.
When looked at by future employers they see someone who has taken the time to feel out what is truly a career choice and not a settling for something that was chosen for them or something they thought they wanted. This is a plus in this very competitive job market.
I have probably not given you the exact answer you are looking for, hopefully I have offered some help.
in the morning me and my boyfriend exchanged intercourse and i have completely forgot the pill the same day i needed to take it. I am a bit worried because it was over 12 hours of having sex. Could i be pregnant and id so is there an easy solution what to take?
Missing one pill or taking a pill late in most instances does not have any effect on the effectiveness of your birth control medication. If your concerned contact your GYN or prescribing doctor to see if you should take a morning after pill.
I need to know how to go about seeing a doctor. I'm 18, 19 in 3 months. I don't live with my parents and I have no income or health insurance. I need to see someone regarding my scoliosis because I have a pretty bad rib hump and I want to do something about it instead of having to hide under baggy clothes. I just don't know what to do, or where to go. I live in Medford Oregon if that helps.
Thank you for your time
One thing that is a certainty is to go to any hospital emergency and seek help. By law you cannot be turned away because you are unable to pay. The hospital must provide treatment to the level that is the standard of care for whatever problem you present with. Considering what your problem is I am not sure what that standard of care is. I'm sure it will depend on how your condition effects your quality of life.
It is also possible that being 18 and not having any medical insurance you would qualify for Medicaid coverage. You will be asked if your parents are insured and if you are attending college. If so their insurance carrier is required to continue your coverage under what is being referred to as Obama care.
Then their is also the Oregon Health Plan which you may qualify for and can apply for online. This is the link for that plan. http://www.oregon.gov/oha/healthplan/Pages/app_benefits/main.aspx
If your parents are insured for health insurance and you are living at home or not though you are still in school; high school or college. Their employers insurance cannot drop you just because you turned 18. IF this is how you find yourself, being dropped because you aged out but are still in school,contact you states insurance commissioner for help.
I am a graduate of international law and diplomacy in nigeria i studied at babcock university, i actually want to become a lawyer but i wasnt given the priviledge to do so now i want to study law in america with this degree in ILD how long will it take and law school included...
Law school generally takes 3 years. Before you start actually applying to the different law schools I would first talk to someone in the Dean of admissions about your situation as you already have a degree which may shorten or even allow you to test through or out of as it is called, of many of the areas of Law school. This will not only save time but money as well.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. Things were great when we first started dating, we were always together and enjoyed it. Lately we have been drifting apart and we hardly talk anymore,even though we live together. The less we talk the more i feel closer to my boss. At first I just enjoyed talking to my boss but lately I feel like there is something more between us. My boss constantly brings up my name during converstation with other coworkers.
I really love my boyfriend but when i try to explain how i feel that we are drifting apart he just hugs me and walks away or says "no we are not".
I agree with most of what storageanddisposal has written I will phrase it a bit different.
For any relationship to be successful there must be communication and common interests. Sex appeal and sex take a relationship only so far. At some point you wake up and need to talk to each other. It is at this point that you find out if you have anything other than sex in common.
Now I have no idea if this is the situation between you and your boyfriend or if he has reached a different comfort level with the relationship than you have. Since you live together I don't think cheating is a problem but lack of communication, possible lack of common interests and reaching of different comfort levels are.
Because you may be at different comfort levels and are not communicating your needs to your boyfriend and in a sense forcing him to talk about what you want and what he wants from your relationship. The present situation makes you vulnerable to real or perceived overtures from your boss.
You are correct in not accepting "NO WE ARE NOT" from your boyfriend. You are entitled to a better answer and to let him know more plainly you are not happy with the preset status quo. What ever problems you perceive there to be he needs to know about them and address them with you. Any and all things from not pulling his weight in household chores to lack of sexual ardor in the bedroom.
Whatever it may be you two need to talk about it. You say you love him. If you two do not start communicating your wants, needs and desires to each other and allow this relationship to fall into a comfort zone then any relationship is headed for disaster.
So talk to him.