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I need advice. I am always angry at everyone and sometimes at everything!
Why do i feel like this everyday? What can i do?
I know everyone has seen something like this before. I have looked at other peoples questions like this but they are not the answers i'm looking for. I'm 17. I hate my parents more than anyone. I have one person who used to be my friend but i don't like him anymore. If i bump into an object/wall i get angry and punch it or kick it. I hate everything about myself. I'm pessimistic about everything. I used to think about suicide but then i realized its everyone else who is my problem and i wish they would die or get out of my life completely. The only things i love at all would be my 2 dogs. and surfing the internet after i play with my dogs. That;s my life now, it's summer , but i am stuck here at my room, i don't want to go out, may father is always intrusive what i am doing, when i go out with friends, just once a week last month, when i got home he always do say i am flirting with a boy(im bi, and he knows it). That's why i never get out with my friends anymore. It change me a lot what my father treat me. I am not social at all. The friends i used to have came to me i didn't go to them. Sometimes i can manage to act happy but really inside i want to put a hole in something. I am so mad with my father, last 2 months he punched me, and kick me in my leg, just because i forgot to feed his chicken, i am eating that time and i said to him, wait i will just finish my breakfast, and he yelled at me saying you respondent idiot, he cussed me while im eating, thats what happen, then he punched me and kick me. Not only that, much more. I wish he die, i tell my mom all the time when im pissed of him. I don't know where to release my anger towards my father. And because of this i am always offer profanity, to anyone even to my mother. When my father got home, i shut to my bedroom. I have been this way for 2 years and i only get angrier by the year. Most of the things that used to make me happy are dead to me. My parents are getting sick of my constant angry attitude and violence toward inanimate objects and to my sister, and friends of my sister, i get angry all the time. I go to a "special" school full of the most idiotic people you can imagine. Really i'm not sure how much more i can take before i have a mental breakdown. Sometimes i am thinking hanging my self. :( need your advice guys . I am from philippines.
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I understand you. I understand that all you would like is some help but you don't know where to begin. Yes your father is abusing you and this seems to be the route of the problem.. You mentioned that your father says things about your sexuality. Are you bi-sexual or gay and feeling ashamed from it? If so, don't be. It's not your sexuality that makes you, it's who you are inside. Try to concentrate on getting an education and then getting a job, this will bring you closer to having your own home an own life, independence can help you a lot, maybe try to sit and talk calmly to your parents, no matter what we feel about our parents, they brought us into this world and will love us for eternity.
And suicide? Really? Even the most smallest person in the world can make a difference.. Your great personality, ideas or skills Could greatly help someone or something in the future, someone once told me... If you don't love yourself, no one will... And I truly believe this, it's so hard to love yourself when you believe you are disgusting and worthless but all u need to find is that one style that suits you, and a skill you have.. Then progress in it all.. You will be okay. You are a good person or you wouldn't realise your faults. Take a look in the mirror. Your not as bad as you think you are...x
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You definitely have some anger issues and may be depressed as well. We are not doctors so making a diagnoses is not something we can do for you.
One thing for sure from what you have written is your father is abusing you. In most countries child abuse is unlawful. I would think it is illegal in the PI though I am not familiar with the laws there and it has been over 40 years since I was stationed their at Clark, AFB. I also do not know at what age you are considered an adult in the PI for if you are considered an adult then your father hitting you is assault. which I know is illegal in the PI and you can go to the police. You can also move out of his house if you can afford to live on your own.
No matter what you decide to do about your fathers assaulting or abusing you. I believe that you need to seek a qualified psychologist to help you deal with your anger issues and possible depression. Properly dealing with these issues and what your father is doing to you is the only way to regain control over your life and feeling better.
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Geez, I just watched a movie last nigt about a 16 yr old boy who began to have anger issues. His stemmed from witnessing dad verbally and physically abuse his mom. They got divorced but the feeling bottled up inside him eventually came out in anger because they were'nt dealt with. Today psychologists understand better what things will a affect a child if not dealt with in counseling.
The problems in the movie is the mom was now being abused by her son and he didnt want to be that way. Eventually though she kept quiet to authorities at first for fear of losing custody of the son or son going to jail, it got bad enough that she began to ask for help.
I don't know what culteral norms there is for familys who are Phillipino...so if there is any about keeping any family stuff private...you will have to break the rules.
See, its not fair to yourself as it wasnt to the kids in the movie that you are so angry. You would not ever have been this way if it wasnt for your family life. To have such anger is not normal. It can easily lead you to do something that would end you up in jail for life...and all because of your dad. Your mom is afraid of him even if she loves him so she won't do anything or she would have divorced already. Because mom wasnt strong enough to leave him and remove the kids from such violent temper, you probably are mad at her too.
Now I will suggest something that doesnt sound fair. I dont know if you have ever had any religious beliefs but I have. I believe, that we are born to learn certain hard lessons in life as a soul. Most all growth comes from hardship. Our souls reincarnate again to learn the same time next time if we dont learn it this time. Doesnt sound fair right? But that is life. Once we learn our hard lesson then life gets better and we only have the smaller issues to work over and learn.
It looks like possibly you have a lesson to learn in loving yourself enough to ask for help to be removed from such a situation and then getting the counseling to deal with anger. To do this, unfortunately, your dad will have to be exposed for what he has been doing.
You mention nothing of how he treats your sister or Mom. But even just witnessing him treating you like that is having its affect. Your sister, not knowing anything better could end up marrying a man who beats his wife and she eventually is murdered. Someone has to be strong and that person is you...or you wouldn't have written here asking for advice. It is never okay for a parent or anyone else to beat a child or any other human being. God is love and all of us are his children. As siblings of the greater family of God, as souls we are related and should be learning to love one another. Some souls are not as mature as others and make some very ugly mistakes. Your dad needs counseling. If you tell school counselors and they dont respond, you need to ask police for help. Dad will be taken in and questioned, and so will you. Do not think for a minute that you are the cause of his anger for being bi sexual. That is perfectly normal...I have known many bi men and women. Your dad has an anger problem as evidenced by the chicken feeding example. The sooner you ask for help the sooner you can be on the road to healing. You may no longer be living with your parents if authorities deem him too dangerous until he has gone for some anger treatment.
Just what if your dads daddy beat him and yelled and abused him like he is doing to you. That would explain why he has such anger. If you feed anger and indulge in anger outbursts, you grow more anger. If you spread love, you grow more love instead. If how he was treated had such impact on him, and you can see how it is impacting you...can you see it leading you having a family and you beating on your kids and maybe wife too? The chain has to stop now or your childrens children will have anger issues too.
The world has so much anger and hate...it is time to turn the tide. I believe you are strong enough to do it. Let me know what you decide to do. I will be praying for you
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