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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
So my twin sister is really scared of having a filling in a few days time.
We're 18. She's scared of the numbing part.
Like I have had my mouth numbed by injection six times before, she never has, and has had NO treatment.
I don't know how to reassure her, or explain what its like to have your mouth numbed. She's so scared!
Any advice is welcomed, I'm grateful for any :)
Hm... Is she scared of the numbing? I think sge may actually be scared of a shot.
I have had so much dental work, I promise you it's not as bad as it seems. The numbbess last a few hours then boom! Back to normal. :-)
Not a big deal at all, Just calm and it will go by fast.
I don't normally do this, but my family is so screwed up I wouldn't feel comfortable asking advice from people I know, so here goes.
All my life, I was a total daddy's girl. I worshiped him. I looked more like him than anyone in my family.
On my 12th birthday, my dad left my mom and I to go work as a producer in L.A. He would e-mail and call me on occasion, but after a few months he cut all communication with no explanation.
My mom did the best she could to raise me, but she spent a lot of time dating and not much time with me. I couldn't help but miss my dad.
I spent all of my time trying to get in touch with him. He's a pretty big name in the music industry, so while I could find his website and his twitter and his tour dates, actually getting in contact with him was next to impossible. One day, I contacted NBC since my dad was going to be on the Tonight Show that week. I told them my story and sure enough, a few days later, I got an e-mail from my dad. He told me that he wasn't my biological dad and that he met my mom during a difficult time and was just trying to help. With that, he dismissed me from his life and left me totally lost.
When I confronted my mom with this, she told me she was raped. This shattered my perception of myself and landed me in therapy with suicidal thoughts-until I found out from a close family friend that my mom had lied. My biological dad was engaged to my mom and I had been planned. She lost her mind one day, left him, and planned to put me up for adoption. I guess when I was born, she couldn't bring herself to do that, but she tried to keep me a secret from my biological dad.
Anyways, this isn't the story of how I found my father-in my eyes, my dad is the man who raised me. This is the story of my mother, who struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder. If you're unfamiliar with this illness, you're lucky. She lies constantly with no regards for others, but is so fragile you can't tell her the truth. How do I go on treating her with love and patience? She has ruined the life of everyone who loves her. I do my best, but it's getting harder every day. She risked the way I saw myself just to protect her lies. She has shattered my self-esteem and is doing the same now to my little siblings. How can I protect them?
I am deeply sorry...
If you really want the truth, You could ask this man to take a DNA test. If it were to come out negative the only real hope is to maybe ask your grandmother if she knew who may be your father.
I relate to some aspect, I grew up with a stepfather abd mother. Although I may of had a stepfather, It doesn't change that I don't know who my dad is.
Your mom may have issues but sometimes we need to learn to take the good with the bad and love the ones that tried.
Okay, I was talking to this teacher (I shall call him B). B and I were alone in his classroom talking - which is something we do quite frequently. Anyway, my friend walked in and later when I was speaking to her she commented on how there was 'a lot of tension between me and B when she came in' and that she felt very awkward walking in and as though she was interrupting something. I wasn't really sure what to think seeing as I didn't notice any tension between us (it's not something I'd ever really thought about).
But then since that day I've noticed that whenever someone (other teachers included) comes into the room when it's just me and him they always look awkward and quickly leave. Me and B will often look and them and each other awkwardly when that happens but other than that I feel things are normal around us.
I'm just not sure where all these people are getting the impression there is something between us from? Is he experiencing tension around me that other people pick up on? I don't know what he's usually like around other people so I can't judge if he treats me differently or not.
I don't know, this is all too confusing for me.
I think you may reading too much into this.
Maybe they did think they were interrupting? Maybe they wonder why you were by yourself in the classroom.
You didn't gi into much detail to why but is it possible maybe you could study with a friend? Oerhaps the talking may be giving people the wrong impression?.. Nowadays people seem to jump to conclusions easily.
Hey guys. I'm a female, almost 20, and I have feelings for my coworker. I work somewhere that a lot of more established people work. I'm the youngest in the company by far. There are a lot of guys in their late 20's and early 30's and everyone is interesting and most of the staff is pretty good looking. I, however, have feelings for one of my managers. He's 40, he's married, he has a kid, and he's black. Now I know the last part seems unnecessary, but I've actually never been physically attracted to a black guy before. For whatever reason, I've always gone for babyfaced white guys. Anyways, he is wonderful. He's calm and quiet and very smart. Only recently have I been lucky enough to get to know him. We were paired up to do inventory a couple months ago and in that time I realized that I had some pretty intense feelings for him. I'm in a serious long-term relationship with a man I love undeniably and would never cheat on, so these feelings are really confusing. My manager is very respectful. I've never heard him say a bad word about his wife (who is about 10 years older than he is)...in fact I've never really heard him say anything about her at all. He's shown no signs that he is interested in me, while most of the guys I work with have made a pass at me at least once. However, he really enjoys talking to me. He shares stories with me and we vent to each other whenever something is wrong. He doesn't do this with anyone else at work, nor do I. I went to watch his band play the other night. Luckily, 2 other guys I work with are also in the band so it didn't seem like I was just there for my manager, but seeing him outside of work was weird. He could barely make eye contact with me, even though he invited me. While the rest of us were drinking wine in the alley, he separated himself and just said he'd see me inside. I couldn't take my eyes off of him though, and I saw him look at me a few times from the stage. He thanked me multiple times for coming, but I'm just confused now. Does it seem like he has feelings for me that he feels guilty about or am I imagining things? I've never hit on him or said anything to anyone about my feelings, so I don't think I make him uncomfortable. And how do I get over these feelings? I love my boyfriend and don't want to be burdened by a stupid crush. It's gotten to the point where I dream about he and I kissing. Seeing him at work is bittersweet. My life would be easier if I could just figure this thing out.
EDIT
Typical 20 year old go figure. :-)
You are so not getting the picture...
Of course he isn't interested in you, He is your coworker. Why the hell would any coworker talk about their personal business? It is highly inappropriate. This by all means does not mean he isn't happy in his marriage, It means he keeps his work seriously.
You need to get off the idea that you may have a chance with him. This man is married and has a family, He most certainly isn't interested in engaging in a relationship with a coworker nevermind someone that is twice as young as he is.
Pursuing a relationship with a coworker can put your job on the line. It is inappropriate and not professional, If you can't learn to put your feelings aside then you may not be mature enough to handle such a job..
Ok.14/F Well, for the last couple of weeks I've kind of been down. I went through terrible bullying my 7th grade year and I will be a 8th grader next year.I was tortured that whole year by a girl who said I really just want to kill her and what I thought were my best friends who always made me a second choice for everything. Well, I went to counseling for 8 months and I was cured from my chronic depression and I was happy again, but Yes i do think I'm not the smallest person because I have shape I think that I'm not pretty and I get called "emo" a lot because my hair is short and I get called annoying to be around because I act myself around basically everyone but I personally don't think of myself as beautiful even though I tell a lot of people themselves that they are beautiful. People and friends think I'm beautiful and I have a great personality but I worry about what others think too much but I am confident about my personality but I don't have many friends I could probably count them on one hand but I feel like I need a answer. Help?
You're insecure, That's basically what it all comes down too.
You pretty much described me at 14. TRUST ME, You shouldn't give a flyin shit what people think of you. The wirld isn't about satisfying other people, It's about YOU. Be yourself, Be happy. If someone can't except that then find someone who will. Guess what? People who bully are also people with low self esteem. Please, They ain't shit but a shadow finding an image. Yup, I was the victim of bullying for 12 years.
Also, Who cares if people call you "emo" It doesn't matter. Reality isn't about who thinks what. High school is a word of stereotypes and hypocrites. 99% of the population are clueless airheads that have not a clue how the real world works.
Stop caring so much, You will benefit and go far if you don't. If you laugh off the bullshit you will find life gets easier.
We've been together for over a year, he's my first boyfriend, I'm his first girlfriend and it started out brilliantly. He's going to uni in a month or two and I'm not and I wanted to make the most of the time we have left because I think a LDR is unlikely to happen. He's been so good to me, I have a few medical conditions that make life hard for me and he's been amazing, I really don't want to lose him. However, he recently has been trying to get me to go away with him for a weekend or so with his relatives (about 10-11 of them). I keep saying no because I've never been away from home, I'm not the sort of person to go away, I'm not great with people, I've had panic attacks in cities before and my parents aren't keen on the idea (we're both 18 & still live at home with parents). Any stress makes my medical conditions worse but I'm in the process of getting it sorted and I don't feel ready to go away yet because of them. I've tried to reason with my boyfriend and explain this but he won't drop it. I've told him I would consider it in the future if we're still together, when it's more serious but not right now. Also, in the past few months we've been arguing a lot more, and I've gone to bed at night in tears on many occasions because of how much our relationship has changed but then again, I am very easily upset. I don't know whether it's me being oversensitive but I don't understand why he would make me do something that he knows makes me very unhappy. All I wanted to do over the next couple of months is have fun. Every time I speak to him now I feel pressured, we end up arguing and it's ruining our relationship and I don't know what to do about it. Days where we don't argue are great, we have fun like we used to when we first started going out. Has anybody any advice about what to do? Thank you very much if you do.
You are not ready, Plain and simple.
I applause you for knowing the time isn't right. However, On the other hand never if life based off WHAT IF just because you have medical issues. Life is way to short to hold yourself back.
It may simply be the fact that he is just not right for you. Unfortunately, It is very rare a relationship works out with your first. It's just the way it goes sometimes.
Either tell him again you aren't comfortable going or tell him it's time to move on...
Help!!!! I am a 23 year old female currently in a relationship with a male who has a baby girl from a past/current relationship. me and him have been dating for 3 years now and one bad summer evening him and i got into an argument which lead to a brake up. He went back to his ex and got her pregnant. after 5 months of not speaking to each other i forgave him and decided it would all be okay. It has been over a year and things have gone from bad to worse. Every time we argue, no matter how small the argument is he decides it okay to seek "meaningless attention" from his ex who is in a different state. I have found multiple texts, pictures, and even videos, on his phone from her (and other women, also different states) which he claims to have only received during times of arguments or when we are not speaking to each other. I don't believe he has actually cheated on me, we are always together but I'm extremely worried he might if this behavior continues. He is not abusive at all, he has never cursed or even attempted to insult me in anyway. the outside picture of our relationship is perfect. I wish the times were always that good. He has tried to get me pregnant and he has even tried to leave the state in hopes we'd never see each other again but he always comes back looking for me, it never fails. I cant seem to stay away either obviously. Any Advice in this situation?
He is an asshole
He is cheating, He does not value your relationship nor does he even respect you. Dump him and move on
He is mentally abusive
I'm13 years old so I can't use tampons yet, and whenever I use a pad, it always leaks after like five minutes. What other methods are there. Also, what is the best way toget blood stains out of my underwear? Thank you!
Soap and hot water will get it out
If you are leaking through, You want to invest in thicker pads. Try using overnight pads, buy the ones with the wings. Also, Tampons are useless (in my opinion) if your a heavy bleeder then it's best to use pads.
So, I dated this guy 2 years ago and he recently broke up with his other ex like 2 months ago. He decided to come back to me to reclaim a friendship with me and he ranted and confessed to me.
And now, ever since summer started, he would always offer to give me a ride back home from my summer class. I've been observing his actions and he's been trying to hit on me and spoil me with food and gifts and all that. A few days ago, he told his friends that he still likes me and wants to get back together with me, and one of his friends came and told me. I kind of saw this coming, but I didn't actually think it would legitly happen.
Anyways, I kind of find it weird to date an ex, so I honestly don't know what to do now. Today he texted me, "We need to talk" and I said I was busy for today but it's probably gonna happen. What should I do?
Play smart
If you feel unsure then be friends for awhile. Don't rush and then end up regretting it. If he likes you as much as he says he does, Then he will wait around for you.
If this were me, I would make him work for it. I am the rype of person who would need to be reassured that this would be a smart move. Play hard and stay friends for a bit, If he stays true to his game then consider it.
16/f I wanted to try these pills off amazon they say they are safe and natural, would they mess up my hormones? all the reviews say its has worked really well for them. I like my boobs but I want them to be bigger because I have a big butt and I feel unportionate. yes I know they are still growing but im just wondering if it could help and if theirs any harm. they are called Bustmaxx pills on amazon
http://www.amazon.com/BUSTMAXX-Enlargement-Enhancement-Natural-Augmentation/dp/B004L2F4DG/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1374876326&sr=8-5&keywords=breast+enlarging+pills
Nope, It's a crock of shit
Apill doesn't enhance the size of your breast, A pill wouldn't enhance the size of a penis either.
These are all scams, They make a product sound incredible and try to make money off it.
If someone told you to jump off a bridge and you will fly, Would you do it?...
Don't believe everything you hear, It's a scam
hi so my bf and i were together 3 months and he was so protective to the point he wouldnt let me go to the bar with my friends or talk to my guy friends, he also got really mad when i told my closest friends about the problems we were having so i broke up with him but about two weeks later we got back together and he promised things would be different and i believed him... now its been about a month and the things aren't changing. He's still really jealous and he always gets really mad at me when he's drunk . a couple days ago he went through my phone... if a person goes through your phone that means to me there is no trust any more and he says it isnt that but what else could it be. thats a big thing for me so i told him i need time to think if i want to be with him or not. since then ive got tons of texts saying thats over and he gets one more chance and he will change. will he change of is this just a bad cycle?
Please, i need someones advice :(
Kaaitlyn
Hello Sweetie,
He may say he will change but it will take a lot longer then 2 weeks. He violated your privacy, He doesn't trust you and admitted it too you.
To tell someone they can't hangout with friends isn't just a sign of jealousy but he is controlling and bullying you. Nobody has a right to tell someone who they can and can't be friends with.
If someone went through my phone out of lack of trust....That would be the end of it. Invasion of privacy is not acceptable. He needs to work on himself before he can work on a relationship. Maybe see if one of your guy friends are available ...
I suspect my cousin and brother(s) are selling drugs. My cousin who does not live with us runs in and out all the time and goes into my brother's room and leaves abruptly. This has been going on for months. Today as I was arriving home from the grocers, my cousin and a group of guys I have never seen before were standing outside. My cousin came up to me before I could get out of the car asking me if I had the key and saying that he has been trying to get in. Why would i not have a key? He then told the guys that he would be right back and entered the house with me. My mom is disabled and so am I, we live in subsidized housing and could be homeless if drugs are found in our house. We are afraid of my younger brothers and cousin. We ask them to leave but they wont. The apartment below us was raided and i am afraid if it happens to us I will just kill myself. We don't know what to do. We want the drugs out of our apartment! I am so frustrated that I am thinking of going to the police. My cousin was put in jail not long ago for drug possession so I know he is capable. I just have no proof other than my suspicions. Please help me, my mom and I have nothing, all we ave is a place to live and they are jeopardizing that. They only care about themselves and have no respect for anyone or anything. I want to talk to the police but I don't know what to say. I don't want me and my mom to go to jail or be homeless because of these idiots. My panic attacks are getting worse and i feel like i might become manic again from worrying about this. Please help me resolve this, hopefully with them all going to jail and being out of our lives.
You should call anonymously and report you suspect drug dealing. You do not have to leave your name and address with them.
As far as his friends, Report them to the housing management. People would much rather have honesty then liars.
You need to tell the police, Tell them your situation and ask them to talk to your brother.
i had a relationship with 8yrs..we are happy but then things changed..this last may 2013 he became active in his facebook he is messaging his old highschool friends..i know because i know the password of his account.one time they had a reunion knowing that this was not planned even i know that they msg on facebook he still insist that its not expected..i let it pass.but this thing last month he msg on facebook another highschool buddies.he ask about her life and what makes me shocked is that he told to girl that he misses her and if she already ate bfast and so on..and last week she message the girl again that he wants to go abroad with her and that he will cook dishes for her and that his parents really liked her...i feel ashamed,stressed,hurt ..i dont know what to do some times we talked about it i asked him why am i feeling that he is not the same man that i met before and he told me that things changed that he want a baby thats why..i really dont know what to do
Starting at the end also, Do you want children? If you do and he atill continued to act this way towards another woman then unfortunately he may of decided that you weren't ideal for mother of his children. Is this your fault? NO
Sounds to me like the prick may of had feelings for someone eles all along and didn't have the balls to be honest about it. I believe this because he recently opened a Facebook and jumped right on the opportunity to get with someone eles.
So basically, The whole baby thing sounds like a crock of shit. It's an excuse to cover his ass...and if it's not, Would you want this jerk as a father for your kids? Id hope not
Hi everyone I am so embarrassed and don't know what to do but last night I peed in my sleep and I woke up took care of it and than while standing I did it again.. Only a little bit though. I have been feelings like for the last while all I do is pee. I feel like I have to pee when I don't have to. I'm 17 years old and I don't know what to do or if maybe I should go to the doctor or gynecologist. Please someone help me
Na don't be embarrassed. ;-)
So, It is possible you may on any type of medication? Do you drink a lot before bed? Maybe a bladder infection?
These are possibilities, However on the drinking part, Try not to drink right before bedtime and make sure to use the bathroom. If not, You may want to see a doctor.
I'm trying to go for a trendy look so i was thinking about doing this: 2 converse shoes of the same style but different color (green and yellow), neon orange shorts, neon green top, funky jewelry. Do u think that i should try it out?
Sounds more flashy then trendy
I thinl you should go with whatever you are comfortable with. Be yourself
I go with the flow too, I am 5'9 and I wear 5' heels. Damn straight I do.
I wear long flowly black lace skirts, Black leather jacket oh hell I love black. Lol..
So who cares, Go rock your style. Be YOU!
My husband and I just celebrated our one year anniversary. Come to find out just a few weeks before this he's been sleeping with another girl for over half of our marriage. We've had threesomes with this girl and they justified it that way but turns out he got her pregnant!!! I love my husband very much and I want to give him another chance but how can I accept this? I told him our marriage was over if he ever talked to her again and at first he was fine with that and willing to do whateve it took to make our marraige work but she keeps popping up and she wants him to be involved with the baby and I think its confusing him. We are only 20 years old well almost 21 and I'm just not sure what I should do. The real advice I want is say we stay togetehr and try to make it work and dont be involved with that baby, do you all think our marraige will make it for the rest of our lives.
I can't really tell you what to do on this one, I will tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes though...
Divorce
Your husband cheated plain and simple. What's worse is he got another woman pregnant in the process. I wouldn't hesitate to pack his shit as soon as I found out. It is completely wrong and unacceptable in my eyes. Do I dare not to ever give chances to someone who would betray my respect and honesty. There would be no apologizes, Sometimes certain things we do cannot be repaired in life. I would take it will a grain of salt and never avain take the chance of a threesome.
Do better for yourself, To stay with him really isn't going to fix your marriage. In fact, You just then told him it's okay to be unfaithful and that child will always be a scar that happened during your marriage. Time to move on
Hey everyone, I have never posted anything but a question before, but in this case I just want to make a public announcement to all of advicenators- I don't know if everyone who gives advice realizes how much they are appreciated. As I have experience needing advice, I have found that many advice givers on here can be more insightful than some of my closest friends. Sometimes it's the perspective of an outside advice giver that really makes all the difference. So thank you on behalf of me and the rest of the question askers! I couldn't be more thankful for the great advice I receive!!!
Thank you
To hear such positive feedback is what keeps me motivated into helping more people. Sometimes a thank you sure goes a long way.
Best wishes
Hey , um i got into a relationship recently with this girl from Vienna , and both of us really love each other , so um my parents wanted to see her picture so i showed them one of her pictures , and they totally dislike her... Their telling me she looks ugly and they made me dislike her a bit.... and after 2 days we were talking again and she told me that she loves me and she wants to see me in Vienna , so what do i do , should i listen to what my parents say or be with her ?? ... thanks .
There are many lessons in life, One is, Never judge a book by it's cover.
Love isn't about how someone looks. It's about who they are as a person, If they make you happy, If you make them happy. No marriage /relationship should be based on what others think.
Your parents are ignorant, They are 100% wrong. They are judging her based on what she looks like and not who she is as a person. Do not follow their footsteps, Many people may not be the most attractive but sometimes they are great people. Give everyone a chance and get to know them before turning them away.
A relationship is about YOU and THAT PERSON. Not your parents. Don't ever let someone tell you who you should and shouldn't be with. Listen to yourself and go with what you want
My boyfriend is 24 years old and has three younger sisters one around his age and two younger they are a very close family and they are also Arabic so I'm not very familiar with his culture but he is a Christian . He's still living at home and seems to have a lot of pressure on him to always please his family. We've been dating for seven months and I've grown very concerned with his relationship with his middle sister, she's 20 years old and seems to depend on him for everything money, friendship and ???? they are constantly texting even when we are together winky faces and hearts included and she always seems to be the one walking into his bedroom to talk to him while we're on the phone. In the past he's made comments about her butt looking nice in yoga pants and I confronted him about it and he said he was doing it in a joking way because he doesn't like her to wear them, he's also said things like I should do my makeup more like his sisters, there's also a weird pattern I've noticed in all of their family pictures in that she's always on his lap or at the least those two are next to each other. Just recently she saw a scary movie in theaters and he informed me that she was so scared she slept in his bed...which is SMALL. I'm disturbed to say the least because besides these few things I've pointed out there's just a weird vibe I get when he talks about her. I've confronted him in the past lightly stating that they seem very close and I'm surprised he's not closer with the sister his age and he will just say 'ew what are you thinking' Should this be of concern or am I over reacting ? I don't have any brothers but through all of my friendships I've never had a friend be quite as 'close' with their brother..
Dump him
Sounds like there is incest going around in that family. Your boyfriend is sleeping with his sister...Wake up. I am sorry to be rude but this is a red flag and a very obvious one. It is wrong, It is disgusting and almost anywhere it is illegal.
Do you really wanna be involved with someone like this? Sounds like not only is he having inappropriate contact with his sister but he also has strong feelings for her.
Either way, It is wrong. Grown men do not sleep wirh siblings or family members.
Meet someone eles
My ex-Boyfriend wants to see me. I keep on telling him excuses like-
- I cant. I have to clean my room.
-My mom said i cant...
- I already have plans.
He still just keeps on asking. I have even tried to tell him that i dont like him anymore. He just wont listen! Please help.
Sometimes in order to truly move on, We must cut contact. Block him on facebook, twitter. Do not answer text/emails ir calls. Eventually he will move on, Put your foot fown abd tell him to stop harassing you. Doesn't sound like your being stern enough