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flirting boyfriend on facebook
i had a relationship with 8yrs..we are happy but then things changed..this last may 2013 he became active in his facebook he is messaging his old highschool friends..i know because i know the password of his account.one time they had a reunion knowing that this was not planned even i know that they msg on facebook he still insist that its not expected..i let it pass.but this thing last month he msg on facebook another highschool buddies.he ask about her life and what makes me shocked is that he told to girl that he misses her and if she already ate bfast and so on..and last week she message the girl again that he wants to go abroad with her and that he will cook dishes for her and that his parents really liked her...i feel ashamed,stressed,hurt ..i dont know what to do some times we talked about it i asked him why am i feeling that he is not the same man that i met before and he told me that things changed that he want a baby thats why..i really dont know what to do
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So he told you that the reason why he's not the same is because he wants a baby? Is it because you don't want to have children?
If that's the reason he's going to use to excuse his bad behavior, then that's ridiculous.
No matter what the reason is, it's wrong to flirt with other girls like that. He can't pull out some excuse like that. It shows he doesn't love you the way he should.
You shouldn't stay with a guy who is talking to other girls, no matter how much you love him. This is not fair to you.
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Starting at the end also, Do you want children? If you do and he atill continued to act this way towards another woman then unfortunately he may of decided that you weren't ideal for mother of his children. Is this your fault? NO
Sounds to me like the prick may of had feelings for someone eles all along and didn't have the balls to be honest about it. I believe this because he recently opened a Facebook and jumped right on the opportunity to get with someone eles.
So basically, The whole baby thing sounds like a crock of shit. It's an excuse to cover his ass...and if it's not, Would you want this jerk as a father for your kids? Id hope not
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Starting at the end, He says he feels different about you because he wants to have kids. Does that mean you don't want to have kids?
If that is true, he may have been keeping his heart on hold for a long time, hanging with you unless someone else came along that initiates that spark in him. Thats not fair to you if he never told you so. If he had told you and you were okay being friends with benefits until each of you found the person that really rocked your world, then there would be no problem now. Most people are not going to be honest about something like that because of the kind of reaction they fear getting, that no one will understand him and be willing to go along with such an arrangement.
I am not telling you that you did anything wrong to check his facebook...something deep inside, in your subconscious did not trust him 100% and felt you had to check up on him. But the ideal is a relationship where there is such trust between the two that there is no need to check on each other.
I will say one thing about him...something he may not yet realize. Love Relationships we had in the past where somehow you end up going other paths are always a big unanswered question in the mind. ALl the memories of what you had. I had a chance to meet up with someone from my past. I no longer felt that chemistry I felt in the past. Both of us had changed. It was amazing how things had changed. He may be in love with a memory. If he took off after her and left you, he could find out, they still have that spark or that its no longer there. Then he may come crawling back to you. You have to be mentally prepared for him leaving you to chase what he thinks he has better chemistry with. No matter how great a relationship you had for 8 years, inside his heart, he never really made a commitment to love you and grow old with you, and thats why he finds it so easy to chat with and long for and make promises and plans with another.
There's a difference between a guy who can tell you "I love you" and a guy who is "In love" with you. The I love you type is still negotiable depending on what life brings his way. This would be like the lady getting disfigured in an accident and he dumps her now because he doesn't like how she looks. The "In love with you" type in response to the same situation, stays by your side and tells you how beautiful you are to him...and a look at his eyes shows he is not lying to make you feel good but he truly sees beauty in you. It's much harder to find the latter type of relationship. I hate to have to tell you hon, but your man of 8 years was never deeply in love with you. If you are okay with that level of relationship you have with him, you can talk again with him and give him the permission to feel free to go meet with her and see what she is like and see if there is any chemistry and relationship still there. Be okay with giving him up. But also be okay with him seeing her and having sex to see if they still have anything worth working on. If he discovers she's just a friend from the past he had a relationship with but there's no chance for anything now, then he will come home. If this is the only case and he doesn't really care about having kids, then he should come back and pick up with you where he left off.
Or, you could choose to end things now if you don't feel strong enough to allow him the freedom to go see his old flame and wait to see if he comes back to you. Sorry to hear this dear. Best of luck to you
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