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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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I am a 20 year old female, I work at a grocery store with a twenty two year old male. I already know this is going to be lengthy... sorry.
When he first started working at the store, he was just a cashier, like me. Now, I know when I first started working, it made a world of difference that someone came up to me on my first day and introduced themselves, told me I'd do great and kind of became my first friend there. So I did that with him on his first day. Ever since, he and I would talk a lot, more so than he to any other cashier. A few months after he was just a cashier, he was asked to become the cashier's supervisor, which he accepted. Since I'm in college, I work night shifts so it was nice coming in to work and seeing his car in the parking lot, knowing he was working the night with me. Usually, I noticed as well, that he would put me on register 11 - the register that he spends his free time at, checking the schedule or counting money - so we could talk. Or he would put me on the self checkouts so we could talk as well. One day when I was on 11, I was looking at the schedule and saw the last three initials of his name and I finally put two and two together after working together for months that I knew this kid since I was 6 and he was 8, because we used to go to church together. When he came back over, I told him and he even told me he knew the three initials of my last name were familiar to him as well. One day I was joking with him that I over heard two cashiers talking that he and I were dating and I just laughed it off because we get that a lot. As I was telling him that, another cashier over heard and said we should just go out already and his response was "We can't, I'm her supervisor."
A few weeks after that, our store manager asked him if he could go around and hang signs because he's tall and quiet so she knew he could do it in a timely matter, seeming as he wouldn't stop to chit chat, that kinda thing. Then came time for inventory, she saw how well he did on sign hanging so she gave him a shot at inventory and he did that well too. So, a few weeks later, he was promoted to a zoning supervisor of the entire front end, including the grocery in the check out aisles, candy, cigarettes, batteries - as opposed to just a supervisor of the humans that work up front. So he told me the news and I was happy for him but I told him it's going to suck having him go elsewhere, but he told me that even though he moved from front end, to technically department 82, he'll still be up front and he'll still be able to boss me around. Since moving departments, I still see him around sometimes and he always makes an effort to stop and talk to me, whether it be for five seconds or five minutes, just like an I-moved-departments-but-I-said-I'd-still-be-here kinda thing.
Since him moving departments, I've been talking a lot to my other supervisor. The one I knew since I was little will be A and his friend (my other supervisor) will be B. Now, B will tell me stories about how A doesn't really want to date anyone because his last girlfriend was crazy or how they would got to comic-con together and he would get a weird drawing and he would laugh and say "Oh, this will definitely keep the girls away." But everything he tells me about A, he doesn't really do that with me. Like, A will talk to other cashiers but not for extended periods of time whereas if I'm on self checkout, he will stop and talk to me until he no longer can. This past weekend, A was asked to go to another store to help them with their inventory, so he did and when he came back to our store to clock out, he saw me at self checkout and stopped to talk to me about his day at the other store and everything he had to do and I counted that he was there, talking to me, off the clock for 45 minutes. After those 45 minutes, we saw a manager running through the store and A thought he should leave because he didn't want to get me in trouble for talking and not doing my job, he heard on his walkie that there was an accident outside and someone had to call 911. I told him to let me know what happened but I was expecting him to the next time we saw him but he went out and came back in just to tell me and then he left again.
It's just little things that I notice he does with me but not with anyone else that makes me think he could be into me:
-even though he isn't my supervisor anymore and I have a question and I see him, he'll help me with it but he'll tell other cashiers that he can't help them because he isn't their supervisor
-he always jokes around with me... my cousin is a vendor for our store so they work together doing stocking and when he found out who she was to me, he told her that his job all night was to boss me around but he's the only one that can
-he tells me about not work related things, like his puppy or issues he had with his dad and why his parents go divorced
-there's a cashier up front that has a huge crush on him and she'll take pictures of him and put them on Facebook and he always complains to me about how that freaks him out but be knows that I take pictures of him and put them on my snapchat but that doesn't bother him at all
-back when he was my supervisor and anybody that wasn't me was on 11, he wouldn't spend any time back there whereas when he had me on 11, that's always where you could find him
-he lets me complain to him about the weird guys at work that hit on me and he laughs and jokes back that they suck and I need someone better
-I had just recently gotten glasses, even though he has glasses too, he'll call me a nerd and four eyes
-the one day he was working on a battery display right in front of my self checkout and he told one of the other workers that the tags are stuck inside the holder and that he can't get them out because he doesn't have nails, so she went over to help him, then someone else went over to help and by five minutes, he had four girls around the display helping him and he stopped working on it and came over and talked to me, smirked and said "that's how you supervise"
-after his battery display got finished, he had a cart full of zip ties that he had to sort through, at this time I was on my break and he came over and sat with me and asked how many zip ties I thought he had so I guessed and he sat with me and talked to me while he counted all of them
-he told me one day about a girl that got his number and wouldn't leave him alone so he asked her out and made the date as uncomfortable as possible for her so she wouldn't bother him again (almost like he drives girls away that he doesn't like but he never tried anything like that with me before)
But then there's things that make me think he doesn't:
-my schedule got messed up one day and before I drove in for no reason, I was going to ask him if he could help me fix it, but I realized I didn't have his number so I went in the next day and joked about how I had to drive into work on my day off to get my schedule straightened out because I didn't have his number to help me... he didn't even offer to give it to me after
-(no lectures, please) I told him one day that all of my over aged friends were busy one night and couldn't get me something to drink for a party that I was going to and I joked with him again that I knew he was off and he could've gotten me something but I didn't have his number again...he asked me what I wanted to drink because he was just finishing work and he could get it for me, I told him someone else already got it for me and he still didn't offer me his number
-buuuut, during conversations with him, he takes his phone out and plays with it right in front of me, maybe hinting at something, I don't know
I actually probably just made him sound like the biggest asshole ever, hahaha. But he really isn't. He just has a very joke-y demeanor and if he doesn't like you, he has no problem showing it. So, do you think that's him just being friendly to me since we knew each other for so long? Or do you think he may be interested? Am I being insane and just thinking too hard about this? Thanks!
I can't tell if its his brand of humor-sarcastic or if its a sign he's an asshole as you said, and just not interested in you. You have hinted at situations where you could have it helpful to have his number, but no where did you ever say you asked him for it. Some times, guys need it spelled out for them. You could also let him know you want his number because you are attracted and interested in getting to know him. There can be no misunderstanding there. He may not go for it, for fear of work related sexual harassment, even if you make the first move. It's way more complicated then a guy just making sexual comments, or asking you for sex. I have a feeling that it might help you to know how to determine if a person is right for you. First you have to be dating to learn more about the other but then there's a great tool for figuring out if he's right for you. If interested in "how to find the right one" let me know by writing to me from my column and I will send that info to you. Otherwise, good luck.
I would like to sex a long time with my wife, but how?
That's not clear enough for me to know what the problem is. Perhaps you're young and come too soon, or older and starting to have issues with ability to perform at all.
I will answer for the former scenerio and if its the other, just write to me from my column and rephrase what you need to know.
So for a man who comes too soon and wants to be able to have multi orgasms without ejaculating there is something you can do to retrain yourself. Once you've ejaculated there is a period of time before you are ready to become erect and go again. In the meanwhile until you've mastered the technique I will share, you can spend time on the wife using your fingers or her favorite toy to give her orgasms. If there is anything that arouses you easily such as kissing or playing with her hair, etc...partake in that.
Now the technique can be done while masturbating, during her using hand or mouth on you or while you're inside her. What you do is let yourself go until you feel the pressure building up to just before an orgasm, (you'll eventually get the timing right) and at the crucial point, you withdraw and squeeze the base of the penis firmly and wait until the sensation has subsided, then you go for it again building up to the same point and repeating the squeeze. You can come up with a signal word as simple as freeze or stop so she stops her movements or what she's doing and depending on the situation, either she or you can do the squeeze thing but then she won't know when its okay to let go unless you tell her. In time, you'll find you can have orgasms without coming, by just holding still for a few seconds without the squeezing and you'll have gained the control over it. The sensation when the man is having an orgasm without coming is quite pleasant for the female as she can feel the man's penis pulsating in her. good luck.
If Ii had sex on January 26th and am now pregnant how long do you think I am? Please answer asap!,
It takes a fertilized egg up to a week to travel to the uterus where it implants/attaches itself to the lining in there at which point you are officially pregnant. Count a week out and you get Feb 2nd. So from that date to current date is a few days over a month along. You did not say if you took a pregnancy test or have seen a Dr. to confirm this. Depending on your age, there is another reason besides stress to delay a period. Young teens can have very irregular periods that don't show for 2 months sometimes. Happened to me. Just making sure you're not just assuming your're pregnant. It's best to see your Dr. if a home test shows positive. A Dr. can better determine how far along you are.
Hi! I'm having a love crisis here that I need a little advice on. There's a guy that I like and I'm pretty sure that he likes me. He's pretty cute, hilarious, an amazing artist, and a decent writer. The problem is, he's not smart. He gets straight C's at best and he's just over all not super intellectual. I wouldn't mind him not being naturally academic if he would just TRY. I've worked with him in groups and partners and he doesn't try to hide the fact that he doesn't care about school at all. I've been an above average hard working honors student my whole life so you can see why his lack of effort turns me off. Am I being shallow? I really like him, but I'm not going to even think about asking him out if he doesn't put in a little effort.
I'm not going to address whether you are shallow or he's not smart enough. The real issue is that you don't have a clue if he's really right for you, whether for dating or a life partner/mate.
Dating is good for discovering if
there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if the person is a good match for you. So the question remaining is, 'How do I determine if someone is a good match for me and me for them?'
After a divorce when starting my search again, I believe my Angels gave me this idea, and it worked. I found it most helpful. You will make two lists. I choose to call it a list of criteria for finding the right partner/mate because that's exactly what it is. So here's the tool you use to help you in determining if someone is a good match for you.
You will make two lists. The first most crucial one is a list of Must Haves. A 'must have' for you is something which if it doesn't apply to this other person, then that's a deal breaker, you don't date or get into relationship with them. Very important serious stuff here. So how do you know what to put on the list? Think of things that are very important to you in life, things that no one can sway your mind to a different viewpoint and importance in your life. Major issues seem to hinge on topics such as religion/beliefs, sexuality and children. Here's an example of what I am talking about. Even tho a person wanting to date isn't ready to have kids yet for 5-8 years, they know they do want children someday, their own or adopted is another concern. If one does not ever want kids and can't be swayed to change their mind, even if in love, then that is a deal breaker and must be on the list. Not to sound shallow, but the wanna be stay at home mom will never be happy if she must compromise that dream when the kids are little because the guy doesn't earn enough to support both. If she isn't flexible enough to be able to deal with reality and uncertainties of life, she could have emotional issues for being forced to work or he with her staying home and not able to meet the budget and fighting ensues. Why take a chance that something might go wrong in the future, long after your heart has fallen in love?
Finding ones best friend and sexual equal should be top priorities and whatever pertains to that in which you have specific requirements had better be on your list. You want a mate who likes to travel an incredible amount but she is a home body, no match. You may coax her on one vacation a year but more she'll be miserable, and it becomes a battle. You have a high libido. Spell out what you want. If its sex once a day, you better be sure before you even get to the point of being ready to try sex whether she also has a high libido or she thinks thats over kill and once a week or twice a month is reasonable. I hope you understand the importance of a list of Must haves. I had about 5-7 if I remember right.
Next list is a list of Wants, and a want is like the frosting on the cake, it is not a deal breaker, and you can live happily without it but here's where you might think about others who do meet this or admire others who do. That's okay. I have great memories of past guys who loved to dance as I do. It was on my list as was a guy with long hair and much more. I didnt get the dancer but I got long hair. You will only need to use the lists of wants if by some miracle you find two or even 3 people who meet all your criteria of must haves, and need something else to determine which one to choose, you go for the one who meets most of them. In my case, the man I married met all my 'must haves' but no one else did, however he met half of my wants list. So I am very happy and in my mind, I have sorted out that it is okay that he never will meet the other half of my list of wants.
A person who knows what they want, and won't back down under harrassment, won't settle for less and isn't afraid to tell others what they are looking for in a mate, is going to come across as confident to others and that is an attractive trait in people and will draw the right one to you. I didn't find my right one instantly though. Many sounded great because they lied or didn't understand their own needs and wants well and once I met them and got to know them better, saw they were not a match for me according to my criteria. Hope this helps you.
I'm in high school and in June there's going to be a graduation dinner. At first I was looking forward to going but now I'm not so sure because the kids in my grade had to vote for stuff like "most likely to be successful", "most funniest", "class clown", etc and I got voted most quiet for the girls section. A lot of people put my name down, even those that don't even know me, so I think that I might be the one to win it. It's not like I purposely try to be quiet, it's because I have very low self esteem and now that they put my name down, I feel like it just made my self esteem worse. Being "most quiet" isn't even something to be proud about or get an award for. Why would they even have that category. I never even wanted to win, and plus there's other people that are quiet that they could have put down but of course it's always me. This happened yesterday and I was starting to get over it but then today one of my friends told me that she heard what "people were doing to me" and that it's "messed up". That just made me feel even more stupid and pathetic. One of my friends put my name down for "most adorable" and she told her friends to do it and not to put me for "most quiet". So doesn't that mean everyone sees "most quiet" as a bad thing. Atleast that friend didn't put my name down for it, even my best friend didn't say anything even though she knew about it. It's not like I never talk, I do talk to people and ask questions if I don't understand something or need help with something and I'm always nice to everyone. At the dinner that's where they give out awards for attendance and high exam grades and I wanted to be there for those, but when they announce the winner for most quiet its gonna be so embarrassing and just ruin the whole celebration for me. I don't think I'm going to be attending, I don't know what to say when my mom asks me why i don't wanna go. She already gave me the money to pay for it.
This is an event that comes only once in your life time so I think its a good idea to go.
Now about what they have voted you for...there's nothing wrong with being labeled Most Quiet.
There are personality types that are naturally quiet. So I don't see that as a negative label. Now if there was a label for "Lowest Self Esteem" and you were chosen, I can see not going. But thankfully, that was never a voting option.
If you gracefully accept the title at the dinner, no one will think badly. What could be fun is to plan to do a little something to make them wonder. I don't know if they just announce while everyone remains seated or call you up on stage or something but if when you are announced as most quiet person, it would be funny and a personal challenge for you to stand up and immediately yell out, "Thank you Everybody for voting me the most quiet." while you are being something other than quiet at the moment. If you face your fears dear, you will find that the fear goes away. I was quiet as a teen too but during my Sr. year decided I didn't like being so shy. So I took steps to face my fears little by little and found it wasn't as scary as I thought. I am thinking it's possible from how you described yourself that its more about being a shy person rather than you having a low self esteem. Hope this gives you more to think about before making a final decision. If you decide to go, I'd like to hear from you how it went. Good luck!
I am 32 years old, and a female. My younger brother has been troubled most of his adult life and a few days ago he was found having had a heroin overdose. He is now in the hospital unconscious and unable to make decisions for himself. We are not on good terms with his wife, but so far she has not stopped my mom or other brothers from seeing him. I am on good terms with his ex(who is 2 kids from him) and his wife knows this and pretty much hates both of us. I live in another part of the country and I can not get there for a few more days. Tensions are rising between her and the family and I am concerned she may keep me from seeing my brother. What can I do if she does this? I know as his wife she is automatically granted power of attorney. It would be very devastating to me if I could not hold my brothers hand and tell him I love him before he passes away.
You can always call that hospital ahead of time and let them know your situation and find out what their rules are, whether a wife can have say over who comes to see him if he's in danger of dying.
WITH my dad, he had pneumonia in nursing home who called emergency & was taken to the hospital and put on life support. He had wanted 'no resuscitation' and the sister who had POA had changed it once only so hosp would previously treat him for another minor infection. It wasn't changed back. He'd actually died of the pneumonia and they revived the body but he was as if dead. They did not question any of us who showed up at his room if we were supposed to be there, but of course, no one was making a stink saying they didn't want certain people there. She used her POA to decide what we all wished for, to release him from the years of suffering after a series of strokes, and so he was taken off support. One sister lived out of state and couldn't make it and wanted us to put the room phone up to Dads ear after he'd already passed on. I couldn't control finding that funny as I know Dad was no longer in the body hearing with human ears. Once a soul is in spirit form, they can go visit all their family members and many go to attend their own funerals, some try to contact a loved one through dreams to reassure them they are okay or leave other signs the person knows. So just in case the worst happens and you aren't allowed to see him before he dies, you can certainly talk to him afterwards and he will see you and hear you and most likely be present in the room but unable to contact you in a way that you can be sure he knows. Why I say this, is that my Dad was no longer cognizant of his surroundings, only a machine keeping him from being legally dead. To us all, it was as if he was already dead. None of us were able to see him just before he died and was revived to be dependant on a machine. He even looked dead...its hard to describe. But my siblings and I all dealt with it without having issues of not having the opportunity because we believed a loved ones soul is able to hang around with family for a while before they cross over or come back after to let us know they're okay. tHE SOUL isn't limited like we are when in human bodies. I hope everything turns out alright in your situation though.
I'm a 23 year old male who is gay. I have a partner who is 41 years old and he supported me for the last 5 years. He is very wealthy. During those five years I took so many jobs but I did not keep them. They were very short lived. I have become accustomed to relying on my partner for all of my financial needs (car, housing, food, gas etc.) I have taken advantage of all of the perks.
Before this relationship I was able to keep a job because I had no choice and my parents were not wealthy. I was independent. How can I condition myself to keeping a job?
If it doesn't bother him that you don't work, and he is rich enough to support you and doesn't mind, then I see no issue other than you feeling like you should be doing something more.
there are hetero couples where the Man earns enough to support a wife staying home. She doesnt have to work. He's happy enough that she keeps up the home, nurtures children if any and has the time to run errands and do what ever else and he is perfectly happy as long as she really loves him. Finding someone who loves you unconditionally is enough for a person to want to support that person, whether able to or not. The only ones who actually can do so have money to do it with. So check with your partner. If its no issue for him but you want busy work to focus on, try becoming a volunteer somewhere where you are fulfilling a need they have, doing something helpful but not tied to a 9-5 full time job. iF YOU like the idea, you can find all sorts of places to volunteer. If you like the outdoors, you can become part of a volunteer club that helps maintain trails in parks or do clean up of litter in parks. If you like gardening, then volunteering with local garden club who will do city beautification projects with flowers come spring and summer and maintainence of these public areas. If you belong to a church, some have volunteer programs especially the Salvation Army churches. Or volunteer at a soup kitchen. If you like to bake, donate baked goods at some of the local schools when they have a bake sale but you'd have to check ahead. Christmas time there's a need for help with collecting and wrapping and delivery of toys to the children of poverty level families. It could be a myraid of different projects you find to occupy your time around the year. Good luck.
i started using birth control pills (triphasil) since 16 jan and have been taking it everyday at the same time,and then got my period on the 2nd-4th feb...i then recently had unprotected sex which was on the 28 jan and then on the 4th march i got my period again..isit there a possibility that it might not be my periods and that i may be pregnant..because i do take my pill at the same time everyday and hav never missed 1
Set an alarm on your cell phone or if you have none, on an alarm clock at home to remind you to take it every day. Another way is to make sure it's the first thing you do as you wake up. Pharmacists recommend that it is taken the same time every day. Although you were on the product long enough for it to build up in your system before having sex so you'll be okay. Females once pregnant, do not get periods anymore for the 9 mos. until birth.
There is only one reason a female will bleed when pregnant but that is with an ectopic pregnancy meaning the fertilized egg doesnt leave the fallopian tube and begins to grow in there until it bursts the tube. I know you don't have that simply by the timing, it was too early for bleeding if ectopic and there's severe pain and bleeding among other symptoms. But here's a link to read on it so you can rest your mind.
http://www.webmd.com/baby/tc/ectopic-pregnancy-symptoms
i live in a society where sex before marriage isn't allowed.. so how can i now fake virginity..?? :/
Here are two sites on the internet that offer a fake hymen kit with fake blood. I recommend getting more than one to practice ahead of time with putting it in. I once read an article of a American reporter who tried it to write an article about. Couldn't find it but she did say she didn't get it right the right try and after some time of being wet, the product disintegrates, meaning the fake skin pouch holding the liquids just melt away into nothing and the red dye was all over the bathroom and she had a nice mess to clean up, not good if you're taking too long in there and he's wondering why. The last link has kits of different amounts sent, 1, 2 3 or 4 or more. At least two if not 3 is adviseable. The package has no identifying information on it. However if anyone in the family is into checking your mail, you might want to rent a Postal office box for delivery if available in your country. If male members are suspicious and want to know what you ordered, have something small you purchased before hand and have hidden, such as a pair of earrings, necklace, a perfume that you claim to want to wear for your wedding.Here's the sites and good luck.
artificialhymens.com
http://www.artificial-hymen.info/
What is masterbating?
Self pleasuring by touching the genitals. Most do it until they achieve orgasm. If you want a link to details on how to do so, write in again and tell whether you are male or female. This you can do alone.
There is also when partners do what one can do themselves on the other and that's mutual masturbation. I hear of too many one way masturbations more often with the girl doing it for the guy and the guy not doing it for her. If young, masturbation is the best way to take care of your sexual urges until you are a bit older. Most males want to try out sex for lust sake right away and females want to wait until he and she fall in love and have sex for loves sake.
i'm 12 and my bf is 13. my bf is more experienced than i am and he wants me to do stuff that i dont think i should cuz of my age and i'm not really ready for. i need help to know how to tell him that i'm not ready for that stuff. pleez and thank u if u can help
The other advice you got is what I would say too, just adding some things. Boys at your age have anatomy that reminds them of sex all the time and they can get erections several times a day even if not thinking about girls. It comes with the territory. Unfortunately for the females, young boys want to try out their equipment with a girl rather than just learn to masturbate for now until older. All guys will experience this phenomena but some learn self control and can be satisfied with just becoming a girls close friend and enjoying simply her nearness in friendship. Thats what you should aim for. Young men are driven more by lust than love as girls hope. They can easily fall for a guy and young women going through puberty are very susceptible to male attention at this age. All teens worry about acceptance sure, but I am talking about a special role Dads could play in building their daughters self esteem. I sought out my Dad more at this age, it was not romantic or sexual, just wanting to have male compliments and attention and support which is self esteem building. You can get all of that from friendship with a male your age without kissing and sex or anything in between. Too many Dads dont catch on or are absent alot so girls naturally turn to guys their age for this. And as far as I know, other than maybe transgenders, all girls automatically go thru this stage to some extent. Many aren't aware it even exists. And this 'need' is what breaks a young girls resistance down when a guy keeps asking her to do things she doesn't want as she actually 'Needs and craves' male attention.
I know you'll probably lose quite a few chances with hot looking guys if you say no. They'll go pester another girl whose looks they like because, pay attention now, "It's not about them pleasing you or showing you that they are in love with you by treating you with respect and trying to please you" it's all about themselves and taking care of their sexual itch and some want to learn about what sex feels like and gain some experience. I know its probably too embarassing to ask adults what sex was like for them the first couple times, so I shall tell you as I've spoken to plenty who aren't shy to discuss the topic and for both men and women, sex in the beginning is not memorable (for 9 out of 10), actually pretty bad due to being naive, immature. Prior experience at that age means nothing. Every one can figure where the parts go which is all that young boys know but there is a lot more to love making than that and it's a learn as you go type of thing that you'll want to do with a guy who has deep feelings for you and you for him. I am not talking about a strong attraction to looks, for someone you've gotten to know well as a friend while at the same time, though there is a natural draw to want to kiss and go further, you both are willing to wait until you are older because you do care alot about each other. There are teen girls who do find guys like that. And if they do, I find it's not bad if they are older, like 15 on up. You'll want to get on birth control and not trust just condoms for that and Planned Parenthood will help teens with that but do have an age where they feel the person is too young. First love with sex is really only better when exploring it when you are ready and the guy cares deeply about you. then you both can explore things together and even study with books or online to learn different ways to give each other pleasure. Learn foreplay.
The best thing to say is something simple and to the point. "I am not ready to explore those things but when I am, my first time will be with a guy who loved me enough to wait a couple years." gOOd luck dear.
I am 24/f. I recently moved out of my house and moved to graduate housing at my university. before i begin, i just want to give a brief description of my family. they are extremely controlling. my mother is absolutely nuts. she is a narcissist and i can tell you that she has ruined my life. both my parents are the most irresponsible people i have ever met in my life and how someone gave them a child is beyond me. i was adopted at birth. all of the paperwork and everything was set up before i was even born. she confessed to me that the reason the adoption finally went through is because she called continuously and harassed them until they gave her the child. i would like to meet the social worker who ruined my life. at this point in my life, i love them because hey are my parents. but, i don't LIKE them as people. i know it's hard for some people to understand. some of you have already read some of the things that i've written, but i will write it again for those who didn't. i need to add a couple more things that happened this weekend.
basically, my mom plays a great actress when she pretends that she wants what is best for me. she doesn't. she wants whatever makes her look good or has money. i am a person of great faith (i am just angry right now). i always thought that the reason that she didn't like my current boyfriend is because we don't share that same faith (we were already together before my conversion) and because she thinks that he didn't have money. She said that he "lacks drive" and just isn't her type. I get that she doesn't like him, but she threatened me several times. She said that if I stayed with him, I could just think of her as dead. You think that might solve the problem if she was just out of the picture, but that isn't true. her threat is just that... a threat... what it really means is that she will make my life miserable. she doesn't mean that she will stay out of my life... but rather, that she will stalk, harass, show up at my door. she even threatened that she was going to beat him up. everyone says to call the police. but, seriously, the police isn't going to do anything about a verbal threat. he has also threatened her because he got angry. so, both of them would be in trouble. i basically told my mom that we broke up, which isn't true. but, it got her off my case. she has been harassing me and harassing me about finding a new boyfriend. she says that she wants to live to see her grandchildren. so, i basically told her that there was a guy from class that i thought was cute, just to get her off my back. at first, she saw a picture of him and she said he was ugly and "forbid" me from seeing him. Then, a few weeks later, she was pretty much telling me that i better knock on his door and throw myself at him. I told her my "concerns" about him were that we didn't share the same strong beliefs and that he was poor ( i just wanted to see what she would say, since that was her gripe about my bf). She said it didn't matter because he was "hot."
The other day, I came back from church and told her I had seen a friend. She asked me if he was cute (the only thing she thinks about is hooking me up with a guy). I told her who it was. I'm here thinking that she would think that this was the perfect guy. The reason I am doing this, by the way is because I'm trying to test what it is she would want from me. what is her ideal vision for my life that I could have for her to leave me alone. this guy is a little bit older, makes a lot of money, we met at church. i was like... she's has to give a positive review. She threw everything on the floor and almost started punching me. she said she forbids me to ever see him and that he's not allowed in the house ever. so, i got in my car, and drove an hour back to my dorm because i said that this is not home if i can't even bring a friend here. additionally, i would like to add that this person has been a great friend. like, he has gone above and beyond what it means to be a friend and if i were a mother and witnessed that, i would be writing thank you notes instead of forbidding the person in the house. i told her that i wasn't angry about her not liking him. i really could not care less. what I'm angry about is the way that she treated me with a lack of respect. till today, she continues to call me to tell me that i am wrong and try to get me to see things from her point of view.
there is nothing to see. she doesn't want what is best for me. her judgement is clouded. however, she continues to control me because i'm living on campus, not in my own apartment. realistically, no matter how much is say i won't speak to her again, she weaves her way into my life. my entire family takes her side because she is "unwell" and i should "know better." they will come to my door and call the police if i chose not to answer. my mom will put herself in an institution just to make it more dramatic. and everyone will say i'm evil. they already do. apparently, i'm the cause of everyone's misfortune.
when my mom has been out of money... since she decided not to work for 20 years. the solution was to steal my identity. even before i turned 18, i had a ton of debt because she used it up. that debt was deleted, but no legal action was taken and no apology was issued. before i came to the faith, my family was involved in the occult. when my 17 year old boyfriend broke up with me, my mom's idea of making me feel so much better was taking me to a warlock who sexually abused me. when i have brought it up to her, she said that she was just trying to make me feel better. i told her that a mother is suppose to build up a child's self esteem, not make them want back a guy that did so much harm to them. she told my cousin about the incident and then they both laughed about it.... i don't think it's funny. and i hate when people say "it could be worse." Everything could be worse. try telling that to a child who was sitting there afraid, being sexually abused and people laughing about. i finally told my dad about it and he said he was angry at both of us. I was just a child and I made that very clear to him. he said my mom has always been very smart and he doesn't know what happened. by the way, my parents are divorced.
most of all, i feel like my dad is a coward who left me with this lady so that he could get away from her. then, everyone just tells me that she is my mom and wants what is best for me because she loves me. she does not love me. she is obsessed with me and thinks that i'm her little barbie doll. if she really did care about me, she would be trying to direct me towards a guy like the third one I mentioned. She would treat me with respect and not throw things at me and people have to stop her from punching me in the face. if she cared about me, she wouldn't steal my identity to buy clothes and then think it's justified because some of the clothes were for me. she wouldn't be laughing about happened to me. i was a victim. i'm so angry at both of them. they could take them to jail, fine them, put a restraining order on them... but honestly, they don't see what they have done wrong. that is what gets me angry. i feel like i am owed an apology. if i can't get that, i feel like i need validation from a jury... someone. i feel so alone. please help.
now, about her being irresponsible
Well, no one's ever stood up to your Mom. It started with her harassing the social worker until they finally gave her what she wanted just to be rid of her. I'll wager she's been doing this sort of thing since she was a child or teen. She's learned that harassing a person enough will get her what she wants so its natural she does it with you. It's almost 100% likely that your mother has some severe mental issues and should be under Drs care and then with these habits engrained, there's little to no chance of her improving enough before she dies to make life better. My ex husband was going to a counselor late in life and thats what the dR. Said, that all people are different in how they respond but for most human nature takes over, we all don't like change and tend to fight against it even if its for the better. So you'll have to pretty much count on them both never changing for the better. I know we all want family that love and care, support and uphold us. You still deserve that. You may do better to shut them out of your life until you have healed and feel and stronger individual, if you ever get to that point.
With my ex, I had a couple people tell me that it is not a selfish thing to put your needs first and take the steps to what is best for yourself. I was verbally abused by ex. Towards the end, he starting doing the pushing shoving and thats when I left and before doing so felt guilty until I was told I wasn't being selfish. In fact, I'll paraphrase a bible verse, the one about loving God with all of heart, mind, etc and your neighbor as yourself. We see the word neighbor shown before self and think we need to love them first. But it means the opposite actually, you can't love your fellow man and friends and family if you can't love yourself first. And one of the most loving things you can do for yourself hon, is to decide to no longer subject yourself to anything that hurts you or stresses you. that actually made sense to me when explained to me and is what caused me to take the steps necessary for my welfare and future. My own grown kids tell me I am such a different person now, so happy joyful and healthy etc...
It may be hard for you to shut them out and not have anything to do with them for a couple years. One thing that will help is having your own support network. When you marry, your husband will be one, he needs to know all of this in your psat so he can help protect you from them during the times you feel weak. I don't know what the possibility is of finding your birth parents and they may not want contact or not be nice people either. If you know the adoption agency, it couldn't hurt to go tell them what kind of people they adopted you out to, how since they're so toxic, you're not having anything to do with them and since there are no siblings or other family, you want them to give you contact info on your birth parents. For all you know, you may have some half siblings and family is important if you can build a good relationship and gain support there. If they say they cannot divulge that info. I myself might be tempted to say, "How long do I need to pester you before you get to your breaking point and tell me what I want to know." Fun thought but not practical. My husband and I collect people who feel more than friends, like family, siblings and cousins to us and to us they fill those needs as family without sharing blood.
Think of some older woman you look up to and feel comfortable with and adopt her as a mom if you feel like another child to her. Yes, its' possible. No legal adoption mind you, an adoption of the heart. You'll find that once some years have gone by with ZERO contact with the adoptive parents, that you'll begin to heal if you have your support network of friends who are better and more supportive than what you've had so far.
They may not care to know your past but with those you know you can trust this way, let them know what you've told us. That way you have their strength backing you up if you do choose to visit or talk to the parents. It's great to have someone else with you who can take over and say, I'll not allow you to treat my girfriend/wife/friend that way, so we are leaving and you won't see us again.
I hope you do decide to take what ever measures are needed to shut them out because the stress with eventually cause you to have emotional or actual physicla problems. I got sick all the time, some major stuff while with my ex. Our bodies aren't meant to take that kind of stress. You might consider getting counseling for all the trama of your past including Mom taking you to see a Warlock who raped you. She was just as responsible for you getting raped as he was. You were still under 18 so that was a crime punishable by law. I needed counseling after leaving ex with just verbal abuse...you've experienced so much more. We tend to instill self coping mechanisms to face each day while going through it but these aren't productive or necessarily healthy things to do. I had to dismantle my own coping mechanisms and needed a counselor for that. I am sure you'd benefit too.
I think I've covered everything I wanted to.
And lastly, be glad that you don't carry their genetics so you're not likely to have mental illness yourself unless your birth parents have it.
Okay, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, he's great. He supports me and my 2 children from my marriage. I'm 25 & he's 4 yrs older then me. He's had over double the sexual partners ice had, which in my opinion he's pretty experienced and I'm not so much. I have always been pretty adventurous sexually. We have a great sex life. He's only enjoyed oral from 1 other girlfriend and I've only enjoyed anal with him,as examples. Also we both watch porn from time to time when the other is at work or out... well I just found out its actually very common for him. Habitual even, which I don't mind, he watches safe and age appropriate porn., but I discovered he does it when I'm home and go to sleep before him. The problem is I've told him I want to have sex with him pretty much always. Tired, mad, annoyed , sick , whatever. So why pleasure yourself to porn when he has me? I mean, I do just as dirty nasty things as those girls do. Im also in shape and curvy in tge hips which he loces, i mean, im hot. So,I can't make sense of it and he says its a problem he's had since 2 years before we met.
Is it possible to overcome this? I don't want him yo stop completely ( unless he has to) but I'm do in love with him and I prefer sex than masturbation. If I'm here he shouldn't need to do that. Am I right to feel this way? Insecure? Please help. - Kelsey Jaye
Hi Kelsey,
He may have just developed a bad habit and retrained his body to respond with orgasms only when masturbating. So he wants his orgasms and goes for it by watching porn first, masturbating and then coming to bed to pleasure you.
You'll just have to talk more in depth. If he's got his body trained to only respond one way, it can be undone but he has to make sure to go 2 weeks I believe it is, without masturbating and then go just to you and he'll be so ready, he should be able to orgasm with you. Its a matter of retraining the subconscious mind to realize this is okay. If the next day or two, he reverts back to having a problem, he should wait a long time again, not masturbate and then it should work and slowly he'll retrain himself.
Or perhaps one of you has a different libido from the other? If he is meeting all your sexual needs and then needing more besides, that is normal, it just means his libido is higher than yours, no matter how willing and wild you can be.
If he is watching porn and masturbating, or having sex with partners to the point it interferes with his life in being able to have time and quality work in job or at school and to keep tabs with friends and family, then it is possibly a sexual addiction as alluded to and there are treatment centers specifically for that just like other addictions. Let him know it means a lot to you, that you feel left out and want him to come to you when he needs you that way. SO don't feel that something is wrong with you. the issues lie either with him or just that the two of you are a sexual mismatch. If both are willing, perhaps there can be some compromises agreed upon that actually satisfy both. Should you be worried if he liked to watch porn but also has sex with you? No. If he's doing masturbating instead of having sex with you, or doing so grudgingly just to get you to be quiet and leave him alone, then its a big problem. You're mismatched, he's more into taking care of himself and you don't come to mind for him. then its time to leave. I wasn't sure exactly what all is going on so have tried to cover all i can imagine. If i've misunderstood, just clarify with a few more details and I will be glad to adivise again. But htis time, you'd need to go to my column to write me from there, can't answer where you write comments with ratings.
I'm a 27 year old gay male. He's 34, also gay male. We live apart in the same city. We mostly see one another on weekends, even though he works just two blocks from my apartment. Truly, I love him and don't want to hurt him. I know this is bad for me, and for him, even if he never finds out. I don't want to continue these patterns of behavior, but can't manage quitting them, and don't have people in my life I trust to confide in. I have been trying to stop cheating for over a year now, but I end up giving in about every 2-3 months by having a one night stand on a gay dating app or website. I feel awful afterward, delete any profile or email or pictures I used, and vow that this time was the last time and that I won't ever do it again. But eventually I do, and the cycle repeats. I don't trust myself anymore after seeing failure after failure. This is so unfair to him and so wrong. I fear if I told him the truth that I would lose him, and that's the last thing I want, but it's not right to keep on like this, even though I really do want to stop. If I break up with him (for his own sake), I would still have that problem with someone else down the road, so breaking up won't really fix anything in me, and I would lose him.
I've questioned myself a lot about why I cheat. Here are a few factors that I feel contribute to my tendency toward infidelity. I have a higher sex drive in general, than he does, and feel bad initiating sex when he isn't interested. His lower drive is at least partly due to his psych medications, so there is little we can do to fix that. We have limited time together, so it makes it that much more frustrating when sex doesn't happen during our weekends at his place. Sex is great when we have it, and I like being intimate with him as a person, not just the physical pleasure aspect, but certainly that too. He also does not "bottom" for me, mostly for health reasons complicated by his medications. I like both sexual roles equally, so it can be frustrating not being able to fully express myself in those ways in the bedroom. I accepted this after a lot of talking with him about it and trying things to help him feel more comfortable, but then gave up many months later and tried to move on and be happy as exclusively the "bottom" in bed. Don't get me wrong, I like that, but I like to "top" just as much, and it feels like something is missing never getting to have sex that way. We have a good relationship outside of the bedroom and love each other very much, but my sexual interests and urges keep drawing me away to other outlets to satisfy them. I feel like I should be able to control myself, but I apparently I can't because I've been trying for so long to stay away from casual sex outside the relationship, but keep failing. Not being together all the time also makes it hard to be as spontaneous or frequent about sex. I hesitate about moving in with him because I fear my infidelity could continue - despite my best best intentions - but living with him would give me much less opportunity to seek out sex outside the relationship, and more opportunity to enjoy sex inside the relationship. What should I do?
You are facing the same issue that tears apart relationships of hetero's, they may be best friends, have that emotional bond and love each other but are mismatched sexually. A couple needs the chemistry to be equal in friendship and sexually for it to work, no different for gays.
Consider that most gays are also monogamous like hetero's.
Either the two of you come to a compromise that can be worked out where you find your needs being met, or as painful as it is to part, it is the more loving thing to do for each other. Its no fair to expect him to ever have your sex drive and participate equally in an exchange of what things you do. It's also not fair of him if he knew how you felt, to expect you to not have some other outlet to take care of your sexual needs or to be happy settling for less. Whenever we change something about who we are at core to match a partner or their wishes, the one changing or denying something to themselves becomes very unhappy and that can continue over years to lead to others things that affect you mentally, emotionally or physically.
SO it's probably best to tell him that you love him but that you are not fulfilled sexually and you understand that medication affects him. But you are tempted to go find your needs met by other men and you don't want to hurt him. As odd as it may seem, you could ask his permission to have a lover on the side. Hetero couples have had open marriages, done swapping or tried polyamory to meet their needs. Sometimes it works. The issue is jealousy. It is no longer cheating if a partner gives their permission. I could some adults where the husband couldn't perform at all and was on lots of medications. the Wife wasn't getting hardly any of her sexual needs met and out of love these guys gave their okay for the wife to have a lover. In fact, I know a couple where the wife had severe fibromalygia pain and never wanted sex ever. He finally said he was too much in love to ever leave her, she has his support and love forever, it won't change but he asked for her blessing to take on a lover. And I know its worked for him. How do I know all this personal stuff? The people who know me know i am very open minded and also have no problem discussing sex and such. The man actually asked for my advice and i am glad he found it she had a physical problem he wasn't aware of. shE never said a word before except no to sex.
So dicussing this, getting it out in the open is the best thing. Either you'll find a way to move forward or not.
As a last resort, You might decide to try for an online lover if he is agreeable to that. Many people usually older 40's and up is the majority in the game but look up Second Life, its a very realistic simulation game with people creating avatars and interacting with other people. You can act out all your sexual needs in SL or experience role play in the wild west, in medieval times, be a vampire, werewolf, etc...or yourself. Yes there is sex in the game with sims made for that, and gays and hetero's and all inbetween acting out their desires or exploring parts of themselves they are afraid to do in real life. Its a big learning curve at first but i'd say in a month you could probably master it. Younger people figure out that kind of pc avi world stuff faster than me in my 50's. If this seems like a plausible outlet for you, then mention it and see how it goes. If he says no to SL or live lover, he's never going to be able to be what you need sexually, so either you settle for less and don't cheat, or find a relationship where you and he are not only best of friends but each others sexual equals. good luck.
I want to know how to tell my parents that i am bi. All my Friends know But no one in my family does so how do i break the news to them?
Not that it's a bad thing to keep it from them, but parents are parents and will tend to try to get you to conform to what their idea of a proper person is and that may include sexuality. Unless you have parents who are very open minded and constantly talking about any subject at all including sex around you, then go ahead and let them know.
Otherwise, There are parents who will automatically have negative reactions to anything regarding a childs gender id or sexual preferances being differeent from their own. They can claim to be open minded and may be with others but when it hits close to home as with a child, they can easily act differently. No reason to take that chance and have to face a hassle. If you want to tell them, do so when you are 18 or on your own already as an adult and let them know as you'll probably have both girlfriends and boyfriends to bring home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
so i got a detention for mucking around in the kitchen at school and I dont know how to tell my parents. i was given a detention slip and one of them has to sign it but i don't know how to give it to them without them getting really mad or shouting at me, because i've been really good all year. PLZ HELP ;-;-;-;
As has been already advised, yes you have to tell them. Faking their signatures only adds to your black mark.
If as you say you've been an exemplary student all year, then please note that ANY caring parent is going to be concerned since this sort of behavior is So out of character for you. As a parent, if my child who normally followed rules did such a thing, I'd be just as concerned to want to know what caused them to want to do it. Parents these days must have an inkling that life is more stressful for teen than in their time, and they'd be imagining all sorts of things like for example that you have been drinking or using drugs and something like that altered your behavior. So be ready for that line of questioning. Or you could choose to let them not it's not caused by those things. By they may want to check up on you more often and it may invade your privacy but they will need to lay their minds at rest and it is a right of parents to go to this extreme if needed if there is even a sign that their child may be starting down the wrong road. THIS is one of the consequences of your stunt if it happens at all. If you think hard, you may come to personally realise why you did it. Was it to become part of a circle of friends or to impress some kid at school, you acted on a dare, you felt it was something to do to be part of the 'in crowd'? It's not the detention slip or getting caught that is bad but what caused you to do it in the first place. It's that kind of thinking that will get you in trouble again in the future if you didn't learn from it. You may want to be prepared to discuss this all too with the parents if they ask. An answer of 'I don't know' means they won't be satisfied and you probably didn't learn anything from your stunt. Think about why you did it...specifically what kind of thoughts you had that led you to doing this. I was always the obediant type kid so if I did or said something out of character, I was prepared to explain to the parents my thought processes just before. It's helpful to them to then explain why it isn't necessary to go to those extremes and whatever else they may want to instruct you in.
So years ago but since my have hubby & i have been married..we had sev. Mfm/three some w/our friend scott. We were young & partying a lot more then.
(Its been like 18 yrs. Ago) but nonetheless..it happened..mutually by all involved..& sev
. Diff. Times w/in less than a years time. ...can't remember why exactly it stopped but it was definitely. Not because of any relationship/jealousy issues thAt my hubby /i all of a sudden developed ..it just stopped. Thru the past 18 yrs or so since every once I n awhile during some nasty fun fantasy sex between my hubby & i only..he has brought up those fun mfm threesome we use to have & we relive either those times w/our friend scott that he watched me fuck/suck & also at times he joined in & they both fucked & sucked & licked & pleasured me like never before have i been...by more than one man..& also of course i returned some favors ..& of course sucked them both off at same time til they botj came in my mouth & i swallowed botj of their cum..anywho..fun times.for sure..so back to reality..whew..almost came just now just telling the stories of our past..lol..but back to it
my hubby has since
.prob
Last couple 5 yrs. Or so also fantasized w/me more mfm t hreesomes..but now asking me who i would like to be the other man when/if we ever do it again?? It turns me on so much i cant even begin to express how much i want thatxattention & pleasure from my hubby & another cock again..but i wonder if it would hurt our marriage this time?? Maybe cuz we are older now & dont really get that high..lol..anymore that i wonder how help will feel the next morn. This time when lil. Head isn't doin the thinking?? I bring it up often whrn we aren't high/intoxicated per say..we dont use drugs anymore for yrs. Now.
anyway..just out of the blue..middle of day..not involved in any sex. Act at the timr..ya know..just being hubby & wife..mom & dad..g/ma & g/pa.(.that we are all of the above in life daily as a reality/normal daily basis (life) & he gets kind of upset & says he doesn't want to do the threesome ever again.
makes me really kind of upset..i know that men think mainly w/their lil head pretty much 25/7 but this is my soul mate ( hubby ) for almost 25 yrs. Now.& i just thought of all people in the world i could (hope) that we could be after all these yrs. & what we've been thru sex. In the past..that our fantasized..whether cone true again ever or not..would at least not be LIES! THATsHOW i feel it is ...& i dont want to feel like i cant trust anything he says/does if he can't be honest w/me..of all people..in the bedroom/in real life..either way if we never have a mfm threesome ever again..i would be ok w/it..i just wish if that's not honestly what he wants when in his "right" mind that it wouldn't continue being all he talks about while we are fucking!! I also feel like we never make love anymore..its always this fanTasy being talked about/played out while we are messing around..i sonetimes wonder if he even remembers how to make love to me/or if he even could anymore..i ask sometimes jjust that we do that..& even tho he he always been all about pleasuring me.. or he wont cum..until i do..emotionally i need him to "make love to me" does that make sense? Does any of this?? I hope so..lost sight of what my real??? Was for you kind of..but this venting/??? Is good..any thoughts on this from a mans point of view will be much listened to!!โกโกโก
All the graphic detail of what you actually did wasn't needed. I am a female who used to be not in 3 someones but swapping with my ex. We later looked into Polyamory so I have some idea of what this kind of situation is all about.
Yes, there is the excitement of someone differeent, something new that comes when you're involved in this type of sex. But just fantasizing and no longer carrying it out in real life can be just as satisfying for some people. I've known people to go from the real life swapping to only wanting to fantasize about it. there's nothing wrong and doesnt mean your husband cant make up his mind.
I'm in fifties and my 2nd husband also. Since we are having some problems with his ability to have sex, I know that a man could easily feel threatened or embarassed if another man were with you all in real life and able to do stuff while he is sporadically starting to experience issues of taking longer to get hard or sometimes not at all. You really do need to have a talk. Ask him if he has been experiencing any issues with his body sexually so that you can support him properly. This is my best guess considering you mention being grandparents. He may not want to find a young stud but he may feel more comfortable if the other man were his age and also occasionally had issues of his own. Its worth talking to him dear. I wish you the best.
My Dad has been driving me up the wall, and it's getting to where I just want to just cry myself to sleep. He is a very racist and has gossiped about literally everyone I have ever known. Now unless you are christian, you may not be able to help with my problem because of what I'm about to say, but I have been christian all my life, and my dad used to be. To be honest, he says he is, but I hardly ever see him in church, I havnt seen him pray in years, and he talks about everyone he meets. when I was 12, he literally led me to depression. I'm gonna be serious here, I can't even talk to him, because literally anything I say he will either cry about and call me a bad person, making me feel worthless, or he will go red hot mad and trap me in the house (not kidding about that) and say all I can do is eat, do school work, and sleep. I don't like the person he is, and frankly, he kinda scares me. I try to avoid him the best I can but it isn't easy. Last year, God gave me a calling. Something I dodnt even want to do. He told me clear as day to go to a Bible college. My dad says I have to get an associates degree and he is the parent and I have to listen to him, but God is so much more important to me than him. God never told me to go to that college, he said to go to a Bible college. The college in wanting to go to is in another state and crazy expensive, so I'm worried he might actually get me going to the other college. Going to that college is more important to me than life itself. Please help! The college is in Indiana. I don't think I will be able to afford to move there before my dad sends me to the other college, because i start college at 17, not 18, and I'm worried I won't have the money. Are there cheap places in Indiana to stay? Like with a minimum wage job? I'm really desperate right now. Please! How do I get out before I turn 18, and be on my own? How can I afford a place? How can I afford to go to that college? If anyone knows of sites I could go to that would also help. I know I'm asking a lot, but Please! If as many people could respond as possible, I would be deeply appreciative ๐๐๐
I understand wanting to make a life choice based on what one hears God telling them. I have done the same.
Other than your Dad needing some professional intervention, and yes there are Christian counselors or he could see a non Christian, you have two problems:
One being that you start college at 17 and are not an adult of 18 yet. This means that intul you turn 18, parents still have the legal right to decide what is best for you. You never mentioned a Mom. hopefully there is one or an aunt or Grandma who can talk to him if not. At 18, you can do as you wish. the exception is a college age child still living under the parents roof, and they still get a say as the the rules of the house, anything that happens under their roof you must comply, but they still have no right to tell you where to go to schooll, where its ok to work and who to date, all adult decisions you would be making on your own.
Second problem is cost. It's even trickier if the parents are paying for your college. Many a kid has complained of parents threatening to not pay college if they don't chose the school the parents want or stop dating a person they don't like. It's sad that parents will do this, but it is not disrepectful to say, I will pay for the college of my choice on my own. Since the one you wnat is away from home, you'd have to pretty much be able to do it all, pay for school and carry a job and pay for a place to live, etc. You say its expensive. And you say God said go to bible college, not that He gave you only one that you must go to. That I beleive is where you might do more research and see if you can find one that will be less expensive, especially if you're putting yourself through school. Where ever you finally end up going, the thing to do is get on the bulliten boards of the college and advertise you are looking for roommates to share a place with and that will lower your houseing cost.
You could take the zip code of the school and do online searches for apartments in that same zip area or the same for looking up how many companies that might hire part time help are close by. Thats all I can think of dear. God Bless.
Can you pop you own cherry by masturbation?
There is nothing to pop. There is a skin that for the majority of females is smaller in diameter than circumference of the vagina inside, it's a membrane of skin around the outer edges, and it is stretchy like elastic. It does not cover all the way across or there would be no way for your period fluids to leave your body once a month. I know of someone who used a good visual for this, using a toilet paper roll with a nylon stocking stretched over one end and used scissors to cut a smaller hole in the middle of the circle of stocking. It's called a hymen(the proper word for this membrane) The hymen along the edges will stretch slowly like a rubber band, to fit tampons, sex toys and a penis. One finger likely wouldn't stretch it but if you placed several fingers in to try to stretch it you probably would. Masturbating generaly wont stretch it or tear it. A vibrator or dildo can. The idea that a female must bleed if the hymen is broken by sex is not based in fact at all. Some females are born with a looser hymen, others with a tighter one. What can happen is if no lube is used and a toy or a penis is shoved in fast, there can be tearing and some drops of blood. Using fingers on yourself if nails are rough, can scratch you inside and maybe produce a couple drops of blood. But the hymen and vagina heal just fine on their own and do not need a Dr. unless you have a septate hymen. This would be a strip of membrane crossing from top to bottom in the middle, creating two smaller entrances. Your period can still flow out but something as small as a tampon may be too painful to insert and the male penis can not find its way in at all. In this case, a Dr. will snip that skin away and all with be normal.
Hi! I'm a 15 year old biological girl and I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. I think that I might be transgender. Some days I feel so feminine and I go to school it frilly shirts and hair ribbons but some days I take clothes from my brothers closet. I love my long hair, but somedays it disgusts me and I tuck it into a cap. My identity changes and I don't know what I want. I know what I want. I know that there's genderfluid people and people without genders but I want to pick one. I feel like if I had to pick girl or boy I'd be cutting a part of myself off... What do I do?
This is straight from urban dictionary:
Gender Fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days.
Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which se
That seems to describe where you are at. To choose one means you are ignoring the other half of you. So as much as you may think it is better to chose one, you won't in the long run be happy.
Since it seems like two genders in one, I did a search for bi-gender and got more hits. There are lots of sites that can be found like support groups for Transgender, but the public is slowly getting caught up to include bi-genders/gender fluid. Here's one post:
http://bigender.tumblr.com/
This next one describes the slight difference between b-gender and gender fluid
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Bigender
For a search theres more hits on bi-gender than the other label. Here's one more site. And perhaps you can find a support group on line. Thats a good way to go, talking with others going through the same thing and how they are handling it.
http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-Bigendered/219161
do a search of your own and I wish you the best in finding support.