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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i am 18 years old i weight 125.3 and height is 5'7 i wear a 36d. my breast and perky but when i go to bed without a bra they look small btw the way i'm a late blommer. the next day i wake up my boobs are big again. why does my breast do this can i get plastic surgery to prevent this from happening? will i have small breast forever since i am done with puberty.

Breast your size are in no way small, in fact they are considered large. What happens when you go to sleep is the weight of your breast cause them to flatten out and in a sense expand sideways. They are still 36D but the sheer weight of your breast have caused them to flatten. When you wake up and either sit or stand up they go back they fall back into shape.

While a plastic surgeon could perk them so they would not go flat at night. I don't think you will like how they will look during the day. You will lose the natural bounce your breasts have which will make them look fake.

You have natural breast which are a good size. Your normal in what is happening at night so relax.

I've been having anxiety/panic attacks lately and I hate it... How can I get rid of it? I heard that you can make it go away from getting your mind off of it, but I can't think of anything to do.

I've tried breathing slowly and it's not working. Please help as soon as you can, please. Thank you.

When you get a panic attack the first thing to do is you need to understand what the attack is doing to you. Mine would give me the feeling of claustrophobia. So the first thing I needed to do was get out of the room I was in and into someplace that generally was cooler as an overheated and overcrowded room was the base cause.

If you can understand the cause and do something to remove the cause or remove yourself from the cause of the attack that is a big help. Next is controlling your breathing. Find something in the room to focus on, anything but a clock. Then focus intently on that thing, it could be a painting, a picture a vase whatever you can find to focus on. Then clear your mind and breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Continue to do this until your panic attack subsides and your breathing is under control.

Panic attacks are not normal. If you are getting them on a regular basis you should see your family doctor. Panic attacks are a warning sign, mostly because you are in danger. when you are not in danger then they are a warning sign that something is wrong and may need a doctor attention.

The best thing about a panic attack is that they can be managed with medication. If need be talk therapy with a trained psychologist to find the root cause of the attacks.

There is this teacher that I have an intense attraction to, I pine for her all the time. I asked my friend how I can get over her and he said when you get a girlfriend in the future ask her to role play as the teacher. Do you think if I ask a girl to do this she wouldn't mind or she would get mad?

Asking a girlfriend to satisfy a particular fetish or to have sex in a favorite position is one thing. Even role playing is acceptable to a certain degree. It becomes unacceptable when you bring in specifics such as a person you wish them to play be it this teacher, an actress or someone else you may know.

Put yourself in her position. How would you feel if she asked you to play a particular teacher you both might know. Maybe she is obsessed with a certain movie star and asks you to role play him in a particular steamy scene from one of his movies.

I believe you will feel you are being used and that is how she will feel.

Hey guys. I'm a female, almost 20, and I have feelings for my coworker. I work somewhere that a lot of more established people work. I'm the youngest in the company by far. There are a lot of guys in their late 20's and early 30's and everyone is interesting and most of the staff is pretty good looking. I, however, have feelings for one of my managers. He's 40, he's married, he has a kid, and he's black. Now I know the last part seems unnecessary, but I've actually never been physically attracted to a black guy before. For whatever reason, I've always gone for babyfaced white guys. Anyways, he is wonderful. He's calm and quiet and very smart. Only recently have I been lucky enough to get to know him. We were paired up to do inventory a couple months ago and in that time I realized that I had some pretty intense feelings for him. I'm in a serious long-term relationship with a man I love undeniably and would never cheat on, so these feelings are really confusing. My manager is very respectful. I've never heard him say a bad word about his wife (who is about 10 years older than he is)...in fact I've never really heard him say anything about her at all. He's shown no signs that he is interested in me, while most of the guys I work with have made a pass at me at least once. However, he really enjoys talking to me. He shares stories with me and we vent to each other whenever something is wrong. He doesn't do this with anyone else at work, nor do I. I went to watch his band play the other night. Luckily, 2 other guys I work with are also in the band so it didn't seem like I was just there for my manager, but seeing him outside of work was weird. He could barely make eye contact with me, even though he invited me. While the rest of us were drinking wine in the alley, he separated himself and just said he'd see me inside. I couldn't take my eyes off of him though, and I saw him look at me a few times from the stage. He thanked me multiple times for coming, but I'm just confused now. Does it seem like he has feelings for me that he feels guilty about or am I imagining things? I've never hit on him or said anything to anyone about my feelings, so I don't think I make him uncomfortable. And how do I get over these feelings? I love my boyfriend and don't want to be burdened by a stupid crush. It's gotten to the point where I dream about he and I kissing. Seeing him at work is bittersweet. My life would be easier if I could just figure this thing out.

What I see, from what you have written, is very much a crush not unlike you might have on a teacher or other mentor.

Your manager being older and more mature is also wiser. Like any teacher or mentor he would also enjoy talking with someone he is helping to learn especially a student who is bright and receptive to what is being taught. The workplace and school are not all that far apart in that manner, especially between a manager and someone he or she may supervise.

I don't see anything inappropriate in the manner in which he is working with you or associating with you during work hours. What I do see is you misinterpreting his way of supervising or closeness with you and probably other employees he supervises. Here again there is nothing wrong with this as long as it remains in the office and does not go beyond a friendship.

He was right to walk away from you after hours at the club for he probably senses you want more than what he is willing to share with you. His is an office employer/supervisor friendship that is offered. Nothing more.

My advice to you is not to read any more into what is happening between you. If you enjoy his conversations then continue to enjoy them. If you cannot see a platonic relationship with him. Then I suggest you keep your contacts with him to strictly business.

Hello;
my last period date was 17 june it was the same date when my husband travelled abroad for job so after that date I haven't had any sexual acticity..what happened this month (july) I skipped my period today I am 40 days late!! probable my period was late becuase of stress..what should I do?what about sex after missed period how can I calculate my ovulation dates if my period is missed?should I wait for my period to come back alone or I have to take medication to force my period to come again?

The two biggest reasons for a women to miss her period is stress and pregnancy. Your husband being abroad for a job is the most likely stressor to cause you to miss your period. Missing a second period, 40 days late, is also common if the stress is still there.

As I said the second biggest cause for a missed period is pregnancy. While you may think you are not pregnant women have been fooled before. Take a home pregnancy test. If negative then it is time to see a doctor and find out if there is an organic cause.

One other factor. You did not give your age so this may or may not be a factor. Depending on your age you may be seeing the early stages of menopause. You will miss a few periods then get one or two, miss a few more and so on. This is different for every women and has little to do with when you started menstruation. This too is something your doctor would need to properly diagnose as it can start as early as you mid to late forties or earlier.

My husband and I just celebrated our one year anniversary. Come to find out just a few weeks before this he's been sleeping with another girl for over half of our marriage. We've had threesomes with this girl and they justified it that way but turns out he got her pregnant!!! I love my husband very much and I want to give him another chance but how can I accept this? I told him our marriage was over if he ever talked to her again and at first he was fine with that and willing to do whateve it took to make our marraige work but she keeps popping up and she wants him to be involved with the baby and I think its confusing him. We are only 20 years old well almost 21 and I'm just not sure what I should do. The real advice I want is say we stay togetehr and try to make it work and dont be involved with that baby, do you all think our marraige will make it for the rest of our lives.

The first thing that happened which should not have happened was having a threesome with this other women. This in your husbands mind opened the door for him to sleep with her whenever he wanted. In his mind if you were okay with him having sex with her in a threesome what's wrong with one on one occasionally. When it comes to sex we men tend to think with head in our pants rather than the one between our shoulders. We both know this head was wrong but it justified to him he was okay in doing so.

I do not think any of us should tell you whether to stay or go. What I do think is that staying in the marriage should not be based on whether or not he has a continuing relationship with the child he has with this other women.

He should remain in the child's life and legally he is required to support this child until it is 18. He also has a right to visitation and possibly joint custody. That means a minimum amount of communication and relationship concerning the child will need to exist between your husband and the child's mother.

This brings up two questions:
1. Can you live with this?

2) Can your husband understand this and separate his need for a parental relation from any other relationship with the child's mother?

I believe these are two very import questions you need answers to in order to make a decision on how to move forward with your life and your marriage.

I wish I had a way to answer; "do you all think our marriage will make it for the rest of our lives." I don't. What I believe is if you cannot get positive answers to the two questions I posed the chances of you marriage proceeding and being successful are slim.

I wish I could give you an answer you are looking for. Hopefully I have provided the questions you need to ask yourself in order to answer the question you posed.

Hi everyone I am so embarrassed and don't know what to do but last night I peed in my sleep and I woke up took care of it and than while standing I did it again.. Only a little bit though. I have been feelings like for the last while all I do is pee. I feel like I have to pee when I don't have to. I'm 17 years old and I don't know what to do or if maybe I should go to the doctor or gynecologist. Please someone help me

First don't be embarrassed by what is happening. The most likely cause for this is a medical problem such as a bladder or urinary infection that has interrupted the signals you would normally get. There is also something called overactive bladder, also quite common. All are medical problems for which your doctor can help.

The first doctor to see is whichever doctor you are more comfortable with; either your family doctor or Gynecologist. Either doctor can do the initial evaluation and treatment or decide if you need to see a Urologist. Don't be concerned if you are referred to a Urologist as these are doctors who train for problems of the urinary tract and bladder. They are the better doctors to diagnose and treat some infections.

On Monday morning call one of the doctors and ask for and urgent appointment. Then follow the doctor's instructions. I'm confident this will turn out okay once you see a doctor.

If you are really concerned you can go to one of the walk-in clinics that are available. Look under Urgent care in the yellow pages or a web search. Most insurance companies will cover these care center visits over a hospital emergency room visit. You will also be seen faster at one of these clinics and many will give you an appointment if you call ahead.

So about a year ago my mom met some dude named Jim. One night I was at my dad's house (divorced parents) and he had trouble breathing so he tried calling my mom but she wouldn't answer. So he just drove us there (because he REALLY needed to go to the hospital) and waited for my mom to answer the door. It took about five mins of knocking and waiting before she answered. She was wearing a bathrobe and she said she was sleeping and her phone was off. There was a pair of Hanes on the floor in the living room. Jim's truck was parked behind my mom's SUV. She made me go to bed and then jim left. Do you think she had sex that night?

The answer to your question is most likely she did. If so what is the big deal. Mom is a single, divorced, women. An adult entitled to a sex life if she wants one.

Mom was not flaunting her sex life in front of you. She invited Jim over on a night you were suppose to be at your dads. It is unfortunate that dad had to take you home and you may have disturb her while she and Jim were sharing an intimate moment.

Mom also did the right thing when you arrived home unexpectedly. She sent you to bed then sent Jim home. She put you ahead of her own needs or desires. That is what a good parent does. Mom could have just sent you to bed and crawled back into bed with Jim to finish what you interrupted and then sent him home. But she didn't.

Don't think bad about mom just because she was probably having sex with Jim. She and your father are divorced. There is nothing between them to keep either of them from having sex with anyone they want when they want too. Your father too may have a sex life of his own, though like your mother when you are with him he does not flaunt it in front of you.

You have good parents you should love them both. For from just this writing I can tell they both very much love you and that speaks volumes about them both.

I suspect my cousin and brother(s) are selling drugs. My cousin who does not live with us runs in and out all the time and goes into my brother's room and leaves abruptly. This has been going on for months. Today as I was arriving home from the grocers, my cousin and a group of guys I have never seen before were standing outside. My cousin came up to me before I could get out of the car asking me if I had the key and saying that he has been trying to get in. Why would i not have a key? He then told the guys that he would be right back and entered the house with me. My mom is disabled and so am I, we live in subsidized housing and could be homeless if drugs are found in our house. We are afraid of my younger brothers and cousin. We ask them to leave but they wont. The apartment below us was raided and i am afraid if it happens to us I will just kill myself. We don't know what to do. We want the drugs out of our apartment! I am so frustrated that I am thinking of going to the police. My cousin was put in jail not long ago for drug possession so I know he is capable. I just have no proof other than my suspicions. Please help me, my mom and I have nothing, all we ave is a place to live and they are jeopardizing that. They only care about themselves and have no respect for anyone or anything. I want to talk to the police but I don't know what to say. I don't want me and my mom to go to jail or be homeless because of these idiots. My panic attacks are getting worse and i feel like i might become manic again from worrying about this. Please help me resolve this, hopefully with them all going to jail and being out of our lives.

Do not call the police anonymously as that will result in a raid. You call the police, if need be away from home where your brother and cousins can overhear you. You tell the police you suspect but cannot prove your cousin and possibly your brother may be involved in drug dealing and are storing the drugs in your apartment. You tell them you have searched but cannot find the drugs. You tell them you are almost positive they are there and explain about your cousin running in and out of the apartment and prior arrest for possession.

Then you invite the police into your apartment to search for and remove the drugs from your home. They will find them as if need be they will bring a drug sniffing dog into the home to find what may be hidden under floors or in walls or ceilings.

If they do find drugs the police may ask for your cooperation in helping them make arrests for drug dealing. While I suggest you do, that would be up to you.

By inviting the police to come in and find the drugs, that they are not your drugs and you are not involved in the sale or distribution of the drugs. Should mean the difference between being evicted or not being evicted. The more cooperation you give the police the less I believe you would be evicted from your home.

The fact that the drugs were in your apartment without your consent. That you did everything legally possible to have them confiscated and removed are factors in your favor.

I'm13 years old so I can't use tampons yet, and whenever I use a pad, it always leaks after like five minutes. What other methods are there. Also, what is the best way toget blood stains out of my underwear? Thank you!

This is a discussion you should really be having with you mom, especially if she is the one purchasing your pads for you. Yes, I know you feel it would be embarrassing to have this discussion with mom. You think that your period and sex are synonymous. They are not. For a woman a period is just another bodily function to deal with such as bathroom functions.

Your period is a bodily function of women. Your mom is a woman who has had to deal with a period for quite some time. Mom may not realize just how heavy your period is and is purchasing the wrong pads for you, or you are not purchasing the correct pads if you buy your own. Either way your mom is your best source of information concerning this or anything else about your reproductive system.

Next year when your 14 you can add your gynecologist to that list as by law you will legally be able to see any doctor you chose to about reproductive questions or problems with or without parental permission, in total medical confidence. Meaning your parents cannot know why or what you have been seen for or treated without your written permission. This law is called HIPPA. Look it up.

Just for your information. I may be a male and you may feel I don't or should not have the information you need. Any man who has been married for any period of time becomes very familiar with a woman's period. I have been married for 42 years and there is very little I don't know on this subject and how a woman needs to properly care for herself. Fact is your father is probably also knowledgeable and another resource available to you.

Help!!!! I am a 23 year old female currently in a relationship with a male who has a baby girl from a past/current relationship. me and him have been dating for 3 years now and one bad summer evening him and i got into an argument which lead to a brake up. He went back to his ex and got her pregnant. after 5 months of not speaking to each other i forgave him and decided it would all be okay. It has been over a year and things have gone from bad to worse. Every time we argue, no matter how small the argument is he decides it okay to seek "meaningless attention" from his ex who is in a different state. I have found multiple texts, pictures, and even videos, on his phone from her (and other women, also different states) which he claims to have only received during times of arguments or when we are not speaking to each other. I don't believe he has actually cheated on me, we are always together but I'm extremely worried he might if this behavior continues. He is not abusive at all, he has never cursed or even attempted to insult me in anyway. the outside picture of our relationship is perfect. I wish the times were always that good. He has tried to get me pregnant and he has even tried to leave the state in hopes we'd never see each other again but he always comes back looking for me, it never fails. I cant seem to stay away either obviously. Any Advice in this situation?

Your are, to my thinking, in a form of an abusive relationship. He is not physically abusive but his actions or reactions to any arguments is to run off to a safe haven of another women. To my mind this is in line with mental abuse as this, from what I am reading, is what his actions are doing to you. Causing you mental anguish.

Lets face facts here couples do have disagreements or arguments. Things are not always as we would like them to be or as the movies would portray them. Life's highway is filled with bumps and potholes and we as adults must learn to deal with them in an adult manner.

Running away from problems and seeking comfort in the arms of another is not the way to handle these things. Neither is it always proper for one party to constantly forgive and forget.

I know you must truly love him to put up with this behavior. Though love like sex will only take a relationship so far. At some point there has to be a meaningful relationship built. One that is built on a mutual respect that comes from a mutual love and proper regard for the others feelings.

From what you have written I don't see this coming from your boyfriend and it may never be. While it is not proper of me to tell you to leave him. It is proper,, since you asked for our advice, that I suggest that you take the time to really think what life would be with like with this man. Factor in a child since you say you have tried to have one with him. It appears, since he has fathered one child with another women, that a child would not keep him with you if things get tough again.

If this is not the life you picture for yourself and a possible child. Then I believe you know what must be done. Yes, it will hurt at first, though I feel you have been hurt by him before, so this may not hurt as much as it could.

Then find someone who will love and respect you. Someone who will build a life with you based on a mutual love and respect for each other not just on sex. Someone who will not up and leave when things hit a rough patch and they will. It happens in all marriages as life changes and with it so do are goals and aspirations. As life partners we support each other through these changes not run away from them.

Can someone please assist me in reviving my column? I haven't been on in years and couldn't even find the website but since I have, I WANT BACK IN!! Is there a way to get back into my account if I forgot my email that I used?

Can I just reset my password or give information to an administrator?

I'd hate to start over, I like everything I had going so far I just got too busy to keep up with it.

Thanks for your help in advance!!

You sould contact dangernerd this is his site. He can help you

My boyfriend is 24 years old and has three younger sisters one around his age and two younger they are a very close family and they are also Arabic so I'm not very familiar with his culture but he is a Christian . He's still living at home and seems to have a lot of pressure on him to always please his family. We've been dating for seven months and I've grown very concerned with his relationship with his middle sister, she's 20 years old and seems to depend on him for everything money, friendship and ???? they are constantly texting even when we are together winky faces and hearts included and she always seems to be the one walking into his bedroom to talk to him while we're on the phone. In the past he's made comments about her butt looking nice in yoga pants and I confronted him about it and he said he was doing it in a joking way because he doesn't like her to wear them, he's also said things like I should do my makeup more like his sisters, there's also a weird pattern I've noticed in all of their family pictures in that she's always on his lap or at the least those two are next to each other. Just recently she saw a scary movie in theaters and he informed me that she was so scared she slept in his bed...which is SMALL. I'm disturbed to say the least because besides these few things I've pointed out there's just a weird vibe I get when he talks about her. I've confronted him in the past lightly stating that they seem very close and I'm surprised he's not closer with the sister his age and he will just say 'ew what are you thinking' Should this be of concern or am I over reacting ? I don't have any brothers but through all of my friendships I've never had a friend be quite as 'close' with their brother..

It is easy to jump to the conclusion that there is some type of incestuous relationship between your boyfriend and his sister. Based on what you have said it is an easy conclusion to make.

Based on Arab culture, not religion, how protective this culture is of their women. I would be very surprised if there was any incest going on. If his father was to find out he would find a dessert to take him out to and leave him there without food, water or proper clothing. That is how it would be dealt with in their old country.

The fact is that you have developed doubts and are not trusting of the answers you are receiving from him. You may or may not have could reason to doubt him. We or I can't say as we do not know him.

My best advice is: If you feel you can't trust him then this is no way to build a relationship and you should consider ending this one.

My husband lost his job five months ago and hasn't been looking for one. He stays home with our daughter while I'm at work. He dosent do anything around the house just sits on the internet. Anyways I got sick of him saying that's enough. I work full time to try and suport us. Because of this we haven't had sex in four months. Then this guy iv known for for years tells me I'm the most beautiful hard working girl he had ever seen. And I don't know what happened it just all fell apart from there, next thing I know we are at his house. I'm pregnant now i don't know what to do. Advice please

There is a lot here to discuss so lets start with you. From my point of view this guy took advantage of you during a period that you were most vulnerable. You don't say if this was a one time thing or an affair of sorts. In any case you are now pregnant.

Depending on your views you have some choices. You can have an abortion. You can have the baby and keep it or give it up for adoption. The biological father at this time has not say in what you do. Your health insurance at work may cover the abortion. If so at least that part of the worry is handled. If not Your friend should pay.

Having the baby is not your best option whether you keep it or give it up for adoption or not. This will cause an additional strain on your marriage.

I realize that at the moment your relationship with your husband at best is strained. What I also realize is you have not said you don't love your husband any more. So what ever happened between you and your friend for however long it lasted is still in my mind him taking advantage of you and the state you were in and are still in.

Only you know what will happen if you tell your husband you are pregnant and confess to him that the baby is not his. Given his present situation it may not be a marriage breaker as he needs your support to live. Is this how you want your marriage to continue.

If you abort this pregnancy you still have to wrestle with yourself over the affair. I really don't know how to advise you on this other than not to blame yourself to harshly.

As for your husband. I unfortunately may know exactly how he is feely. I abruptly lost my job when I was forced into retirement early because of an auto accident. One in which out of three cars involved I was the only innocent.

Being suddenly out of work even through no fault of my own it was devastating to suddenly not have a job to go to. For a male this is very depressing and I did suffer a bout of depression. Being without a job for 5 months it is very possible you husband is suffering from a bout of depression. If you have an EAP program I would suggest you use it to get him some therapy with a psychologist. This will help with the depression and his outlook for finding a job.

If you are thinking of aborting your pregnancy don't wait to long. By federal law you have 26 weeks. Some states have passed laws reducing it to 20 weeks. They will be deemed unconstitutional but they are in effect until a court issues an injunction.

so dont judge me please because I just want to break my wrist so that hopefully that pain will stop me from cutting for a while. 14/ f by the way.. and so i want to know some ways that i can break my wrist! Please help!!

As you can see by the first two advisors no one is going to tell you how to do what your asking us for. The reason for this is two-fold.

First: it is not helpful for what is really bothering you.

Second: We will never tell anyone how to harm themselves.

I'm old enough to be your grandfather and if you want to rate me 1 go ahead in your case it won't bother me. Just please read what I am about to say to you for I only have your best interest in mind.

You said; "hopefully that pain will stop me from cutting for a while." This indicates that you cut for the pain the cutting brings on and now that pain is not enough. I know you said differently. You cut because your in pain and you hope the pain of the cutting will help blunt the emotional pain you feel. That pain is pain of depression and is very real.

Having suffered with depression myself I can tell you that depression causes pain and pain causes depression. It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken before you can start to feel better.

I cannot tell you why you are depressed. The two biggest causes of depression are stress and trauma. The trauma can be physical or mental. Have you suffered any type of trauma prior to you starting to cut. The emotional trauma could be the death of a close loved one.

There is also something the doctors call teenage depression which is in a manner of speaking a problem in dealing with puberty as well as other factors unique to teenagers.

As much as I would like you to talk with your parents about what is bothering you. I know how hard that may be for you. There is an alternative. It is a hotline called; "Kids Help Phone" their number is 1-800-668-6868. I am also including the URL to their page on depression. IF you see yourself in any of the symptoms listed and you feel you cannot speak with your parents. Then please call their hot line. Their professional call takers will talk with you as long as you need to talk to get you in the right place to ask for help.

http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/InfoBooth/Emotional-Health/Depression.aspx

If after reading all this you don't want to talk to them, won't talk to your parents and still want to hurt yourself. Then please call 911. They will send help to you. Just tell the call taker what you wrote to us.

Hey , um i got into a relationship recently with this girl from Vienna , and both of us really love each other , so um my parents wanted to see her picture so i showed them one of her pictures , and they totally dislike her... Their telling me she looks ugly and they made me dislike her a bit.... and after 2 days we were talking again and she told me that she loves me and she wants to see me in Vienna , so what do i do , should i listen to what my parents say or be with her ?? ... thanks .

Your parents are wrong. They have made a judgment based on looks alone. Beauty is only skin deep. The real person the person you have come to know and love is the person that lies beneath the skin. The person that lies beyond the sexual attraction males and females have for one another.

I'm not saying sexual attraction isn't important, it is though it does not have to be based on outer beauty. I have a line I use in giving advice along other lines in relationship building. It goes like this: "Sex will only take a relationship so far." "At some point you wake up one morning and find a need speak to one another and you find you have nothing in common."

This is the problem in basing a relationship solely on beauty and sexual attraction. From the little you have written I would say you have seen beyond this point and make your judgments based on other values. Good for you.

As should you listen to your parents? My advice would be no. Listen to your heart and mind. If this is the girl that make you happy and you make her happy then maybe this is the girl you should consider making a life with.

Your parents are being snobbish in away wanting a beauty queen for a daughter in-law. They should be carful what they ask for. Beauty queens can be high maintenance and you can be very unhappy. If your unhappy they will be unhappy too.

Hey everyone, I have never posted anything but a question before, but in this case I just want to make a public announcement to all of advicenators- I don't know if everyone who gives advice realizes how much they are appreciated. As I have experience needing advice, I have found that many advice givers on here can be more insightful than some of my closest friends. Sometimes it's the perspective of an outside advice giver that really makes all the difference. So thank you on behalf of me and the rest of the question askers! I couldn't be more thankful for the great advice I receive!!!

Thank you. It is nice to hear that our advice is helpful. We do not always here back from the people we offer advice to and most do not rate the answers they receive. Without this type of feedback we can never be certain if we are offering the right type of advice.

Thank you for taking the time to write to us and tell us what our advice has meant to you. I'm sure all of us appreciate you taking the time to tell us.

Ok so this is for my friend. She is 13 (yes she has her period) So she had sex with her boyfriend (and her bf also went through peburity)and so they didn't use a condom. And he said he did cum.. is there a possibility that she could get pregnant? She is just really worried and wants to know.
~Thanks :)

Short answer: If all the factors were right, meaning she was ovulating, then the chances of her being pregnant are almost 100%.

A woman or most women ovulate for a period of 3 days some time in the middle(14 days) of their menstrual cycle. So depending where in her cycle she had sex depends on whether or not she could be pregnant. If she thinks she is pregnant she should tell her mother and get a test kit and follow the instructions on the package as to when to test. Unfortunately she is a year to young to buy this on her own.

The grandfather in me says I have to give a short lecture here both for you and here.

At age 13 and even older you are way to young to be having sex. Yes I understand the pressure boys put on you but understand one thing about teenage boys. They do not define love like a teenage girl. They define love and lust as the same.

A teenage boy going through puberty is hard wired to find sex. He needs to release the pent up sexual energy caused by the hormones puberty brings on. Hence the word horny. HE would prefer intercourse to masturbation as it makes him feel like a man if he scores with a girl.

To a teenage boy sex is mostly mechanical and has very little if anything to do with love. They will tell a girl anything she wants to hear to get her to have sex with him. The most famous line in history of men is telling a girl; "If you love me you will have sex with me."

You do not have sex to prove your love for someone. Sex is the result of a long term relationship where love has already been proven between you. Any boy who uses that line on a girl, the girl should tell him to make love to Miss thumb and her four sisters for he is not in love with her. He is just horny.

21/f This week I got my blood taken because I'm feeling sick and may have mono. My appointment was at 7am. My boyfriend (of one year) knows I was freaking out about it, and said he would come with me for support. I was so happy for the support, but felt bad that the appointment was so early so I told him he didn't have to to go because of the unnecessary early time. I guess I was expecting him to say time wouldn't be an issue, as I would have done for him any day; instead he took me up on my offer. I didn't express my disappointment because I offered to opt him out of it, but I still feel upset with him about it. Am I right to feel this way? Or am I over reacting? Thanks.

Let me tell you about young men as they can be really strange. I can speak from experience on the subject since at one time I was a young man.

First and foremost men of any age, especially young men do not understand women. Even at my advanced age, I'm retired now and have been married for 42 years, yet there are times I will ask my wife what she means because if I don't, like you and your boyfriend I can misunderstand her meaning.

Males in general from the time of puberty to will into their thirties value their sleep over everything else. This includes sex once they are asleep. So when you told your boy friend that, "I told him he didn't have to to go because of the unnecessary early time." What he heard was, "I know how much you like to sleep in so don't bother."

Should you be upset that he heard what he wanted to hear? You could be but I don't think you should be. Yes your overreacting for you told him he didn't have to go. As I said even after 42 years of marriage I am still capable of misreading what my wife says though I have learned to ask for clarification. You and your boy friend have not been together long enough to be where my wife and I are or even I'm sure your dad is with your mom.

My advise is you cut him a break this time. Next time something like this comes up be more specific with him. If you truly want him to go some place with you and he offers. Say yes that would be great, thank you can you pick me up at 6:30 or something like that. Then he has specifics not open to his interpretation.

In other words, and they will kick me out of the men's club for this. You have to train him to be what you need him to be. Don't tell anyone I said that.

I'm 25 and just found out I'm pregnant... I have a huge situation here and it will be extremely easy to judge and say cruel things so if you are that type of person, leave now. I made mistakes and am ready to deal with the consequences but that doesn't mean that I am not a human being who needs help. So those of you who are real and really want to help and give advice that isn't rude, please help me.

The father of my child is married and I doubt he will be involved in any way other than child support which he has already agreed to... which is fine. I can't really blame him... his wife is aware and wants him to ditch us... again, can't really blame him.

I want to keep this baby so much. I already love it and I know I would be a good mom but at the same time I feel like the situation is too cruel to bring a child into. I know a LOT of single moms who do it alone and are great but given the circumstances... and where I don't have any schooling after high school... would it be better to place the baby for adoption? I already know how the adoption process works... I am extremely familiar with it, it's just a matter of if it's right for me and the baby.

Positive, helpful advice only please and as much as possible. 5

This is an impossible question for any of us to answer for you as it is hugely personal.

What I believe is the right thing to do is whatever is right for the child. No matter how much you love this child if you do not feel you can do right by this child. Which includes not only all the love you have but food, clothing, shelter, medical and dental care as well as schooling and everything else that goes into raising a child. Then maybe putting the child up for adoption is the right thing to do.

The worst thing you can do is say 2, 5, 10 years down the road end up hating this child for the position you find yourself in at that time. That is wrong and that does happen. This is when child abuse happens. I'm not saying you are the type of person who would abuse her child. I'm just saying that this is an underlying cause of a single parent abusing their child.

Your decision has to be in what is in the best interest of the child. Yes; it is going to hurt to give the child up for adoption. You can have more children when you marry and have a husband to help support and nurture the child. This child has only one life and it should be the best chance at life you can give it.

You asked for an our opinion this has been mine. I'm not judging you. At 25 you are an adult who has every right to a sex life. You did not make a mistake in getting pregnant, it happens. Just who you made the baby with might be filed under that heading. If anyone wants or thinks they can or should be judgmental about it, that's their problem not yours. I believe you will do what you feel is right for this child.

I hope I have helped you.

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