about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

18/m


My girlfriend and I have had sex a few times.

I was her first and we went slow and stuff. She bled the first time and every time still she bleeds.

What is causing this? How can we stop it or will it go away?

Sometimes we are a little rough lol

The best answer I can give you is to have your girlfriend see her Gynecologist. She is 18 now and adult and does not need parental permission to see any doctor. As an adult now any medical information is strictly confidential and cannot be released to anyone, this includes her parents.

Under a federal law called HIPPA, which stands for: Health Information Personal Privacy Act our medical records are strictly confidential. For anyone who is an adult to have their medical records seen by anyone else, this includes, spouses, parents and significant others, requires written release by each of us to the doctors as to just who can see these medical records. The fact that she may still be on her parents medical insurance has nothing to do with her medical privacy.

So if your girlfriend is concerned her parents will find out she is sexually active; they cannot find out from her medical records or her doctor or anyone in the doctors employ. For anyone to release any information they face 5 years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

While she is with her doctor if she is not on birth control she can ask the doctor for birth control medication. No one will know as even the pharmacy cannot release information on her prescriptions without her written permission.

Now the reason why she need to see her GYN is simple. She was a virgin, most likely with her Hymen in place. It is possible that the Hymen has not fully detached. So each time you have sex the Hymen that is still attached is disturbed. It may eventually tear off by itself though it would be better that her GYN remove it in an office visit as the doctor can then repair any tear to her inner vagina the tearing may have caused.

I realize this was a long answer to a short answered question. I felt I needed to give you reasons to overcome any reluctance she might have to seeing her GYN. Most of that reluctance had to or has to be centered on the fear of her parents finding out she is sexually active. I have removed that fear and now she has no reason not to see her GYN which is the best solution to this question.

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First off not sure if this goes in this section so I apologize on that.

18/m

First and foremost please do not tell me that I am under age and should not be drinking. I am very well aware of the fact. I came here for an answer to my question not to be lectured.


Last summer when I was 17 I went to a party and didn't have anything to eat and I ended up drinking a lot. I felt like throwing up at one point but never did and was hung over the next morning.

I have not drank since except for beer. Whenever I have tried to drink any alcohol besides beer I immediately feel sick and like throwing up. Ever since that party I have been this way.

Will this go away so I can enjoy drinking again or will it just stay?

I would like to over come it so I can enjoy drinking at a later age again and at college and parties. I am responsible and do not drink or drive and try to limit myself.

Thank you for any help!

Much of what you have written sounds extremely normal for your age and possible amount of consumption. Drinking on an empty stomach is always a big no, no even beer can on an empty stomach can cause some people problems as you have written about.

Age does have a small part to play in what you have written. As you get older your body may be able to tolerate alcohol better or you may be one of those people who can never tolerate alcohol well.

You may just turn out to be one of those people who must limit their alcoholic beverages to beer and wine. As these beverages have the lowest alcohol content. You would also be well off to limit the amount you drink if you are the type who cannot tolerate alcohol well.

As far as I know there is no test a doctor can run to find out what your tolerance is for alcohol or if there is a way to increase your tolerance. You may just be the lucky one or unlucky one, depending on your point of view, whose body will tell them when they have had too much to drink.

In other words, you are who you are. You may just tolerate alcohol better with age or you may not. Whichever the case you will have to learn to accept whatever your tolerance may be.

I wish I had better news for you. Your question is strictly a case of only time will tell.

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Okay so I asked a question about losing my best friend because of my depression. I'm writing her a letter to say I'm sorry this is what I've writeen so far: Okay so like I'm really sorry. For everything. Like for being so down and whatever. Like I realzie it was stupid to get mad at you for saying its hard to be my best friend, because it is, and I know that. I can't blame you for not wanting to be best friends anymore. And I know it must be hard to be with someone who's down all the time, especially best friends with them. I understand if you'd rather be best friends with tristynn, because she has like no problems and she's always happy. I really miss you.. I'll try not be so down and stuff, I'll do anything to keep you as a best friend and not lose you,even though I already have.. To be honest, I was jealous that you and tris are better friends than me and you. I've like not been able to sleep lately because I'm so upset about all of this.

What else could I say? It feels like I'm losing her to these two girls chloe and silky, and then our other friend tristynn. She knows about my cutting and bulimia.

Having gone through a bout of depression myself I know exactly how you feel. After getting treatment I asked my therapist how I make up for those I have hurt. Now my therapist is not one to tell me directly what I should do but one who leads me to find the answers that best fit me.

Having a brother in-law that is a recovering alcoholic I decided to adopt some of the 12 steps in the recovery program of alcoholic anonymous. In those steps they say to apologize to those who apologizing won't hurt any more by doing so and to be honest with them.

In your letter you left out the reason you were hard to be friends with. In leaving this reason out you have not given your friend a reason to forgive and forget. All you have said is; "I'm sorry I want have been so hard to be friends with." You have not even asked if she can forgive you which would require you to explain why you were so hard to be friends with.

I would write a letter like this:

Dear Friend,
I want to apologize for how I have treated you, it is not the way someone treats their best friend. I also think you need to know why I was like this before I can ask for your forgiveness.

I have been suffering from depression. I didn't know this when I was being hard to be with but I know it now and I am dealing better with my depression. I know I have hurt you and for that I am very, very sorry.

Depression is hard to understand and even harder to explain. All I can tell you is I felt really bad about everything and everyone around me. Nothing in my world was right.

I hope that this little bit of explanation is enough for you to forgive me for the way I have treated you. I really miss you and want to be friends with you.

Of course these are my words the words of an adult many years older than you. I would suggest you follow what I have said but use what I have said to write something similar in your own words.

Most important is to give your friend and understanding of why you were like you were so she can have a reason to forgive you. One thing about the 12 step program that you must understand and accept. Is that she may not forgive you or want to be friends again. IF so you have to accept this especially given your ages. It may be hard for her to understand why you were the way you were. Accept it and move in.

I hope you are receiving treatment for you depression. If you are this is a very good subject to discuss with your therapist.

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First of all, I just wanted to say that I really like the advice that you give. They are very in depth and well spoken. That's why I'm asking you this question.

My boyfriend and I (21/f and 23 m, respectively) have been together for 4 years. He really wants to get married. I, on the other hand, do not. Not because I don't love him, but because I don't see the point. We already live together, we share finances, we have a cat together. You know, we do normal couple things and, most of all, we love each other. He places so much importance on having a piece of paper that states that we are legally married as opposed to just being happy with what we have. And both of us are atheist/agnostic, so it's not a religious thing. We don't believe in sex/kids after marriage, and we don't plan on having any kids, if at all, for a while. He says that he trusts me completely and never has any suspicions of me cheating or anything, which of course I would never. But that's really the only reasons I can think of that a guy would want to get married so badly.

I've tried to understand why he wants this so bad but he doesn't really have an answer that explains much. Usually he will just say something like "because we love each other and that's what we should do, is get married". What I really want to know is, why is it that he can't show his love without being married (not that he doesn't), why is the marriage certificate so important to him when, after we get it, we would be doing the same things that we are now. I would just like to understand more completely what he's thinking.

Any and all input would be great, thank you!

This is a good question, one to which I know all the legal reasons for getting married. These reasons have everything and nothing to do with love and romance though they may or may not be his or all of his reasons.

The main reason we marry is that is what society expects of us even today. If a couple, same sex or opposite sex, are in love they marry. Same sex marriages are somewhat new to today but the social and driving force behind them remains the same. We were raised in families that both parents were married, it is what we were raised and expected to do as adults. It is practically in or DNA.

You though are not alone in how you feel about marriage. In my own family I have two nieces'. My oldest niece has no intention of marrying even though her significant other wants very much to marry her. They have lived together for over a decade and he has followed her back and forth across the country. My youngest niece married very young that marriage failed. She has remarried to a guy that adores her and they have been married for five years presenting us with their first child just last month.

Two girls growing up in the same house one very much believes in marriage one does not. Why is this. My sister is the reason. Her first marriage failed. My oldest niece was in her formative years when the marriage failed and has never forgiven her father for walking out. My youngest niece was still a preschooler. By the time she reached her formative years my sister was remarried with my brother in-law providing the stability that wasn't there for my older niece.

Now you have given some reasons, which sound a bit like my oldest niece, but not why you feel this way. Could it be your parents are divorced and you don't trust marriage now?

Now for the legal reasons which are very much apart of the reason one loves another. When we get sick and cannot care for ourselves or make decisions for ourselves. Only a spouse or next of kin can make decision for us.

If you are not legally married you cannot make these decisions for your loved one or make the decision even though it may be the hardest one to make knowing this is what your significant other wants, and you cannot make it for them unless you are married. This is the main reason gay and lesbian community has fought so hard for the right to marry.

Without that piece of paper as you call it. You could be forced to sit on the sidelines and watch your lover or he you suffer needlessly. To me this is probably the biggest reason for that needless piece of paper. It legalizes something that never needed to be legalized in the first place but now that it has; without it there can be a lot of needless pain.

Then there is the financial side of things. Taxes are the biggest part. Married couples can save huge sums in taxes. Home ownership is another. I do not know where you live but still in certain parts of this country there are lenders who will not lend to tenants in joint, I believe the term is. They will only lend to married couples and singles maybe. It is unlawful and they will never tell you that is their reason. They will find other reasons such as a low credit score or you need to come up with a bigger down payment.

I understand why you feel as you do. We should not need a piece of paper to prove our love for one another. In reality that piece of paper is not proof of our love for someone but certification that opens the door and closes legal loopholes that allow us to be full and complete lovers to our loved ones.

I cannot say for sure what is your boyfriends reason for wanting to marry. I'm sure some of what I have written here is part of the why. You two really need to have an open and frank discussion about your feelings on marriage.

Some of the things I have written about can be overcome with legal paperwork which may or may not stand up in court when the time comes. A marriage certificate cannot be overwritten unless dissolved by divorce.

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I'm on my period and i was able to get the applicator in but i'm scared to push the tampon out and i'm scared of how bad it'll feel taking it out. what should I do? I have a party tomorrow and I need a tampon so that I could wear my leggings.

The advice given by others seems to offer good suggestions. As a guy and a grandfather I would like to offer you some grandfatherly advice.

Questions like this one and other questions related to the health of your reproductive system are not sexual. They are health questions. Just because your sex organ may be involved does not make the problem sexual.

You current question could be best answered by you mom or older sister if you have one. They have been through this already and know you better than anyone else. Mom especially is the best person to go to with these type questions.

To be straightforward with you; there's nothing that you will do or have done that we as parents have not already done or experienced. For certain question parents are your best source of information followed by your doctor or maybe the other way around. It depends on the question.

If you are over 14 you have medical confidentiality when it comes to your reproductive system. This is granted under a federal law called HIPPA. This law provides for you the right to see any doctor of your choosing for questions or problems concerning your reproductive system.

You do not need parental permission to see a doctor or be treated by a doctor for any problems concerning your reproductive system. You can if you wish ask for birth control medication and the doctor must prescribe for you unless there is a valid medical reason not to.

Any visit and treatment is totally confidential. Your parents cannot be told what you and your doctor discussed, or you were treated for. Mom or anyone else cannot be in the exam room with you other than the doctor and the nurse. Should mom be with you during the visit or if mom should force you to a doctor; all you need say is I invoke my rights under HIPPA and mom will be told to wait in the waiting room. Nothing of what the exam showed or didn't. show. If you were to become pregnant you could not be forced by your parents to have an abortion or stopped from having one.

This is Federal Law which no state can override. Only you can release information on these medical records and then only in writing to the doctor. This law is not a license to have sex. It is to allow young people to get proper medical treatment when they may be too embarrassed to ask a parent. It applies only to your reproductive system and is in effect starting at age 14.

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Is there a specific name for someone who is attractive to every type of human being?

My co-worker says that she is attracted to all types of people and that she has been with women, men, ftm trans, mtf trans, drag queens, etc. And she's practically attracted to all of them and even gay men/women and straight men/basically...Basically anyone!

Is there a name for that?

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, are the correct terms for the type of person you are speaking with. There is really nothing wrong with this type of person. She is saying that she has no gender biases which is a good thing.

When it comes to our sexuality we are what we are born to be. We do not choose to be gays or lesbians we are born that way. Transsexuals' are people who feel and in most cases were; where they are allowed to change their gender, born into the wrong body. o the best of my knowledge Drag Queens are people with a fetish for this. Again as long as your proclivity does not hurt anyone what is the big deal. Let them enjoy their fetish.

The person who is or see themselves as a aPansexual, or omnisexual, is not hurting anyone and is enjoying those that are just a little different than, in this case, she is. I see nothing wrong in that. As long as she does not try to force you into joining with her in her sexuality enjoy her as a co worker.

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(Yes I'm aware this isn't a "food" site but this is really my only option. Sorry if this question offends/bothers anyone in any way.)

Hello, so I'm a new vegan and I don't really know what to eat... I know to avoid animal products such as meat, milk, etc., but I'm finding it very hard to find foods.

I'm not really much of a "cook" person, but I suppose I can be. Can you all help me with some recipes, vegan name brands, and stuff to eat? I already eat fruits and things. Thanks :)

When my niece was your age she decided to go Vegan because of things she learned in school. She didn't stay vegan for too long for several reasons.

1) Like you at the time she wasn't a cooking type person. My brother in-law who does all the cooking said he would teach her how to cook the food she wanted but he would not cook a separate make just for her. It was not right of her to ask for a special meal since there was no medical reason for it. This was simply her choice.

2) True vegan meals if not properly cooked can be very tasteless. Flavor additives are needed to bring out tastes in such things as Tofu which is a protein replacement. Vegetables need to be properly seasoned and prepared to bring out the taste and texture you want. A properly prepared vegan burger tastes burger tastes very close to hamburger. But you have a lot of prep work to get that taste and texture.

30 Some of the more exotic vegetables and things Vegans eat are way more expensive than regular items as they are almost all organically grown as well.

While I understand your desire to follow the vegan diet. Understand you are asking a lot of mom and dad from the aspect of meal preparation for you and the cost of your food. It would be a lot easier on them and you if you eased into this by going vegetarian first. This gives you much more leeway in things you can eat and is a lot less expensive for mom and dad on their food budget. It also means they won't always have to make a special meal for you. At some point in meal preparation they can separate a portion for you and finish it vegetarian instead of with the protein meat they all are having.

To answer your question directly: There are many good books on the subject of Vegan meals and diets at your local Library and bookstore.

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Does losing your virginity mean that you've had a man's penis enter you or is it only when your cherry pops? I just had sex I guess but I did not orgasm, nor did my cherry pop but he came sooo?

Having an orgasm has nothing to do with losing your virginity. You can have an orgasm from fingering or masturbating which has nothing to do with virginity.

If a boys penis entered you vagina:

1) Your Cherry was popped. ie: If your Hyman was still intact it was dislodged or broken at that time you may not have felt any pain. Your Hymen is located at the opening of your Vagina and will stretch to a certain extent allowing the insertion of a tampon through the hole in it to allow menstrual blood to drain. A Hyman can be dislodged in many other ways than sexual penetration and you still remain a virgin.

@) Your virginity is lost the moment a boys penis enters your vagina. It does not matter if he ejaculates or how far he inserts himself. If the head of his penis gets inside your vagina you have lost your virginity by today's definition.

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is it ok to accept sexual favors from someone you dont really like?

That is really up to you. My question is why would you have sex with or accept sexual favors from someone you don't care for. Sex is a very intimate part of life. I really can't see sharing it with someone I don't like.

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For the past few weeks, I've been unable to stay asleep (waking up frequently throughout the night) or if I've been able to sleep for a few solid hours, then I wake up around the same time every morning, between 8-8:30.

It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed because I'm awake at the same time, unable to fall back asleep. I'm usually woken up by this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach even though I'm comfortable and content with my life. (This morning, I woke up at 5:30, unable to go back to sleep, but I went to bed at 2 AM.)

I've had a history with anxiety so it doesn't surprise me too much, but my anxiety has gone down a lot in the past year, so it DOES surprise me that it's all of the sudden come back so drastically...

These past few weeks, a lot of changes have occurred in my life. I started a new job, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, and I met somebody new. I understand how these changes may keep me awake, but to be honest, I'm happy with my life so I don't understand the anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

Do you think that maybe this is something subconscious, something I could overcome myself, or should I consider sleeping medication or talking to a doctor? Has something similar happened to anybody else?

Anxiety can be deep in our subconscious which may be why you are having trouble sleeping as this would be the easiest time for something in the subconscious to come forward, so to speak. When your conscious mind is at rest and you're not as much in control of it as you are when you are when awake.

Sleeping medications may treat the immediate problem but they will not help you correct the cause. You will get over the break up with your boyfriend and the new job will become the old job fairly quick.

The problem of anxiety attacks is; when you get anxious what really is the cause. This is what you really need to explore and find a way to control. Anxiety attacks are really high stress. Sometime this stress is external though many a time it is self-induced.

Your family doctor can give you medication to treat these symptoms. To get to the root cause and to learn how to control them requires working with someone like a clinical psychologist.

This is someone you can spend time with exploring the cause of these attacks and finding the root of the problem. Once you find the root cause then the therapist can help you find a good or better way of dealing with them. Identifying the triggers is an essential point in controlling these attacks. This is what a clinical psychologists does best.

IF you have an EAP program at work it should pay for a specific number of visits in full with a psychologist as well as help you find one to work with. If you need more visits then your health insurance will or should cover some of the cost.

My suggestion is see your family doctor first and get a complete physical. The psychologist is going to ask you to get one anyway to rule out any organic cause. Let the doctor prescribe medication as they see fit to treat the symptoms. Then find a psychologist to talk with.

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I know i'm not crazy & I don't want people to think I'm crazy. I hear voices talking to me & I feel like there's an evil spirit around me. I hear loud evil noises & when I was 10 years old, an evil spirit even said my name. It scared me but I didn't tell anyone cause I know they wouldn't believe me.

The doctors don't believe me, my parents don't believe me, they think that this is all in my head & that I just have some mental disorder. I even see evil spirits around my house moving around on the walls.

When I was at my grandma's house I heard something evil whispering to me & I go scared and shook for days

I can't sleep either, sometimes I have sleep paralysis. I'll be awake in my room & freeze up, then start hearing voices. I can't talk or move either. I hear voices all day.

I don't understand why nobody believes me or thinks that evil spirits are real. The doctors I went to told me I have psychosis. They just want to tell me it's all made up & I'm being delusional. These voices & spirits scare me. They are always around me & I hear them. These are demons trying to get me!

I don't do drugs or drink alcohol. No one will listen to me or believe me. I believe these voices are REAL

How do I get rid of evil??

You need to see a board certified psychiatrist as hearing voices is not normal. If these voices are telling you to hurt yourself or anyone else call 911 immediately and help will be sent to you.

I do not understand if the doctors think this is all in you head and think you have a mental disorder why they did not recommend a psychiatrist to see you. A psychologist is good for many things but for this particular disorder you need a psychiatrist working with a psychologist specifically trained in this area of illness to help you.

If your parents and other doctors will not help you then you can take yourself to the nearest emergency room and ask for help or call 911. You do not have to live with this, there is help and if your parents won't help you then there are ways to help yourself as I have told you to do.

You can also go to any fire or police station and ask for help. They are safe havens for children and if you ask them for help they will see to it that you get the proper help.

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I work with a man who is 41, and I'm turning 21 in november. We've made plans to go out before but it always fell through. I really like him and something might happen with this but is he too old? He has one kid who is younger than I, and my parents are older than him, so I keep telling myself he's not.

......

Is this weird?

I would say weird is like some would say beauty is; it is in the eye of the beholder. Age after all is mostly just a chronological number.

Things to take into consideration when going into a relationship some would called a May/December relationship is: That the older person has formed certain ways about them and how they like to live their lives. While you may want to go out dancing he may prefer to go out for a nice dinner and then home to sit by the fire or watch TV.

Then their are children to consider. First do you want children. He has had his children and may not want any more. Also if you do have children he will be well into his sixties and possibly retired before they finish college.

These are just two questions you need to ask or discuss. The younger person gives up a lot of their youth if they marry someone much older than themselves.

Last but not least is the question itself. You say you are lusting for him. You do not say if he is still married. My big question to you is: Are you just looking to have an affair with him or are you looking for a long term relationship?

If you're looking to just have an affair with him I advise against it as these workplace affairs usually end up poorly. If you are looking at a possible life commitment with him then my question is: Is he available to make such a commitment? If so refer to the questions above before jumping into this type of relationship or you could end up hurting both of you.

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I am sooo ugly , how do I make myself prettier ? Im a female 14

I believe a lot of what Dragonflymagic said is very good advice. If you are comparing yourself to actresses and models then stop. What you see is a lot of makeup and airbrushing to get the look the photographer or makeup artist wants to present.

I once worked for a major U.S. Airline. One day Ann Margret was booked on one of our flights. As the Special Representative for the airline at that airport it was my job to greet her and escort through check-in and to the VIP lounge. That day she was dressed to the nines with hair and makeup to perfection.

The terminal came to a standstill as we walked through to the VIP lounge. A week or so later she returned on a late evening flight with no notice that she was coming in. I happened to notice her coming of the flight. She was dressed in a sweat shirt and pedal pushers no makeup and her hair was not done. No one seemed to notice her other than me. She was far from the beautiful person that graced the pages of magazines or the movie screens. She was ordinary. I doubt anyone would believe she was Ann Margret.

Moral of this story; don't judge yourself by what others look like for beauty is only skin deep. That what we can see can be altered to look better than what is really there.

Right now you are going through puberty, which for a female causes some really radical changes to her entire body. How you look today is not how you will look in a year or 3 years so stop putting yourself down.

When older girls write to me with similar questions I tell them that facial or bodily attraction; call it sexual attraction only goes so far in forming relationships. Insert all the dumb blonde jokes you know here. At some point you need to communicate with each other on another level and this is where a persons true beauty comes through. The inner beauty that makes us unique. This is what causes people to fall in love and make life commitment to one another.

In other words, beauty, sexual attraction and sex will only take a relationship so far. If you cannot communicate and I mean have deeply meaningful discussions on a variety of subjects then relationships are doomed to failure.

IF you are saying how can that be, my parents hardly talk to one another. This is because they have taken their relationship to an even higher level. One of comfort and trust. They do not need a lot of communication in their relationship. Though when they do talk or discuss things it is with a trust and understanding that comes from years of living with each other and knowing each others likes and dislike.

In short your not ugly you only perceive yourself to be based on a false sense of what beauty is. Forget what you think beauty is and just be the best you that you can be.

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Have to send the books directly from the publisher and they must be soft cover. You can't send anything that has to do with instigating riots, racial tension, violence, making drugs and escaping from jail and things like that. I was some If there were some good specific books an inmate should read

Being a man I'm not sure what women like to read. My wife prefers Romance novels, Woman's day Magazine, People Magazine, Readers Digest and anything on the British Royal Family.

I would think murder Mystery's would not be allowed but other types of Detective novels might be allowed. You might ask mom what type of reading material she would like to receive then look and see what is available from online publishers you can send her.

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my mother is currently in jail the next eight months for a financial crime(if she serves her full sentence it will be about next April when she gets out). I might get flack for supporting a criminal but you know since her crime wasn't against me I guess it is OK to support her in this way. I was wondering what are some good books or magazines to send to an inmate, I honestly don't read much and I was thinking maybe there were some good specific books you can send to an inmate

This is a very good question. It is better to know what the jail will allow rather then send something they will trash or get her in trouble for having it sent.

To that end I went on the Department of Corrections website for the state I live in figuring I would find a list of either approved or disallowed gifts and reading material. Unfortunately neither list was found. what I did find were phone numbers to the different jails and prisons under the department of correction. One of the numbers for each facility was an information number.

What I suggest you do is look up your state department of corrections using a search engine. Then find the drop down box that gives the list of prisons. I found mine under "FIND DPSCS UNIT." Then another box opened and correctional facilities was listed. Click on that and a list of facilities opens. Find the one where mom is and get their number.

Each prison or jail may have their own list of what they approve so calling the jail or prison is what I suggest.

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am gay and i never do sex befor is it painful at the first time

It would help to answer this question if we knew your age and sex.

We get a number of questions from young people saying their gay when they are really not sure. They have not had sex yet or they have had only minor sexual contact with same sex touching and feeling.

Young teenagers seem to feel they are gay if they have any type of sexual contact with members of the same sex. This is not true. Many of us have had some type of same sex sexual contact while growing up. This is called exploring your sexual identity. It is how you learn about yourself and how to touch others sexually. It does not mean your gay.

It means you have a safe way to explore your sexuality with another person. One that most likely will not raise the suspicions of a parent if you two are alone together in a room for any length of time. Eventually you both move on to sexual experimentation with members of the opposite sex.

It is at this point that people learn if they are gay or not. Being gay is something you are born as, it is not something you learn to be. You either are or are not gay. There is true middle road even though there are people that are bisexual.

As for does sex hurt. Only if you are being penetrated. Be it vagina or in anal sex. Then it is usually only until you get accustomed to being penetrated.

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Hi , Im 13 years old , & Im 5'6 & I weigh 256 pounds . I am WAY over weight . I cannot go to dieting because I have a physical in one month so i NEED to loose weight before I go off the charts and I dont want him to yell at me . I literally just started making myself puke to loose weight . How long will it take for me to be average weight ?

First; stop vomiting to lose weight. Not only will it not help you lose weight but it is very bad for you as constant vomiting disrupts the electrolyte balance your body needs to keep you alive. Vomiting to lose weight is known as an eating disorder called Bulimia.

Bulimia is a very serious disorder for as I said among the problem it causes is an imbalance in your electrolytes. Then the continued bringing up of the stomach acids can severely damage your esophagus. Both of these problems are considered to be life threatening problems if left uncorrected.

You do not say how long you have been causing yourself to vomit. However long it has been has already started to harm you. You do not have to take my word for this as it is easy to confirm what I am saying simply by researching the effects of Bulimia.

If this information is not enough to cause you to stop. There is no way your body can tolerate losing 100 pounds in thirty days and you not end up in the hospital. In fact I'm not sure you can lose 100 pounds in thirty days no matter what you do.

My advice is to have you physical. Your doctor is not going to yell at you. What he will tell you is how harmful it is for someone your age to be so overweight. He will probably ask you if you would like help dieting. You should accept his offer to help you diet.

One thing you MUST DO is to tell him you tried vomiting to lose weight. He has to know this so he can run the blood tests and check your esophagus to make sure you have not done any harm that he needs to attend to. This is very important.

Please understand one thing about your weight. You did not gain all this weight overnight. You will not lose this weight overnight either. You need to learn proper eating habits and stop eating the junk type foods that have unneeded calories and other things that are bad for you. When you learn to eat properly and start an exercise regime you will lose weight.

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I am having an issue with pay at my current job. I'm out of college and wanted to go into a field more relevant to my skills, so I left my first job and started a new one a few months ago. I was hired as an intern and after a week my boss told me he wanted to bring me on full. Unfortunately a client backed out from the company and my boss told me he could no longer pay full, but could keep me on as an intern. I was kind of stuck and took it, but he promised that he would bring me on full as soon as the company got a new client.

Let me make it clear that I am very aware that business is business, that nothing should be taken as truth until a contract is signed, that words are words and nothing more.

Two months later I'm still being paid just an intern stipend and I am beginning to look for other positions. In the meantime, my boss gets angry and yells at my coworkers and me if he disagrees with something--he's a micromanager. I get that, don't love it, but accept it. But he expects I put in full-time work, contribute full-time-quality, for intern-pay. So I'm doing the same as my co-workers but for a fraction of the salary.

How would you approach this? Should I sit down with him? I want to be professional, and I think being able to ask for raises is an important skill to gain confidence in. I think that legally something's amiss because everything I do contributes directly to the company, not for personal learning. I'm just nervous I could do something that would make him fire me. As much as my below-minimum-wage "stipend" is difficult for me to sustain on, at least it's *something*.

First understand you are an "At Will" employee. Meaning you work without a contract. While this does not mean you cannot have a conversation with your employer about equal pay for equal work. It means your employer can fire you at any time for any reason. A an example of any reason as far fetched as it may sound would be, he does not like blue eyed people and you have blue eyes.
If that is his reason for firing someone that person is out of a job and has no recourse as their was no contract of employment between them.

What I'm saying is; if your boss is also the owner of the company and you go to him with a request for more money, which I feel your entitled too since you are doing equal work. Be prepared for him to say if something to the effect that if your unhappy I will be sorry to see you go. Meaning he may have just fired you.

There is also the possibility that he will give you a raise that he either forgot or was waiting for you to come to him. Just bear in mind that you could loose if he is both the owner and you boss.

If he is just your supervisor then you should go to the human resource department or the owner to ask for more money.

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im going back school shopping this year (10th grade) and id like to save some money wile getting something thats not complete crap as far as quality. i need the normal stuff pencils note books etc, also i really like to buy pencils in bulk (like 25 to 100 pencils per pack lol). so what store is best to shop at? target or walmart and why?

You have some time to shop so look at both store and also look at Office Depot and Staples. Both Office Depot and Staples have back to school specials for the items you're looking for. You may just find them for less there than at Wal-Mart or Target. The products are very good probably better than you will find at the big box stores.

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im going to lose it in february. i told my boyfriend i wouldn't do it with him till we were together for a year, that do i need to know? are there any ways i can make it more comfortable, or make myself look good for this, should I buy lingerie? tell me what i should know? we have a gentle relationship so im not planning on crazy sex or anything !

Look at the site I have put below. This site has good advice for someone thinking of having sex for the first time. You and your boyfriend should look at it together.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

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