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letter to my best friend
Okay so I asked a question about losing my best friend because of my depression. I'm writing her a letter to say I'm sorry this is what I've writeen so far: Okay so like I'm really sorry. For everything. Like for being so down and whatever. Like I realzie it was stupid to get mad at you for saying its hard to be my best friend, because it is, and I know that. I can't blame you for not wanting to be best friends anymore. And I know it must be hard to be with someone who's down all the time, especially best friends with them. I understand if you'd rather be best friends with tristynn, because she has like no problems and she's always happy. I really miss you.. I'll try not be so down and stuff, I'll do anything to keep you as a best friend and not lose you,even though I already have.. To be honest, I was jealous that you and tris are better friends than me and you. I've like not been able to sleep lately because I'm so upset about all of this.
What else could I say? It feels like I'm losing her to these two girls chloe and silky, and then our other friend tristynn. She knows about my cutting and bulimia.
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For situations like this, the best thing to do is to write down what you truly feel and what comes to both heart and mind. Depression is something everyone has at times, but don't let it defeat you. Your letter is really good.
~Mandi
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Well you use "like" quite a bit.
I like how you started off saying sorry, you should end it the same way.
The first apology should make it clear what your letter is about. The last one should show your completely genuine regret.
I would use more "I" rather than "you".
Make sure the letter is short and to the point.
You shouldn't ramble about Tristynn, or bring up the other girls. I think a simple letter that gets the point across will be better.
These would be good points to go by..
-Apologize (Which you have down)
-Acknowledge what happened (You lost a best friend due to your depression)
-Solution/What you learned (You'll be working on being more positive, ect)
-Conclusion (End it on a positive note, express that you would like to discuss this, and that you're sorry)
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I aslo suffer from depression
The best thing you can do for yourself is to seek help for it. People with depression tend to have a hard time with making and keeping friendships. In order to work on a friendship, You must work on yourself first.
The letter was alright, I feel you may of over used the word "like". I would maybe write it a little differently.
EXAMPLE
Dear Jane Doe
I am deeply saddened by our drifting friendship. I feel we drifted apart partly do to my depression and I am working on seeking the proper help. I miss the good times and hope that we can get together soon and catch up. I miss you dearly and hope all is well.
# 555-555-5555
John Doe
I wouldn't bring Tristynn up, I would leave the problem between her and you. If it really is a big issue with Tristynn then I would address this matter if you see her in person.
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Having gone through a bout of depression myself I know exactly how you feel. After getting treatment I asked my therapist how I make up for those I have hurt. Now my therapist is not one to tell me directly what I should do but one who leads me to find the answers that best fit me.
Having a brother in-law that is a recovering alcoholic I decided to adopt some of the 12 steps in the recovery program of alcoholic anonymous. In those steps they say to apologize to those who apologizing won't hurt any more by doing so and to be honest with them.
In your letter you left out the reason you were hard to be friends with. In leaving this reason out you have not given your friend a reason to forgive and forget. All you have said is; "I'm sorry I want have been so hard to be friends with." You have not even asked if she can forgive you which would require you to explain why you were so hard to be friends with.
I would write a letter like this:
Dear Friend,
I want to apologize for how I have treated you, it is not the way someone treats their best friend. I also think you need to know why I was like this before I can ask for your forgiveness.
I have been suffering from depression. I didn't know this when I was being hard to be with but I know it now and I am dealing better with my depression. I know I have hurt you and for that I am very, very sorry.
Depression is hard to understand and even harder to explain. All I can tell you is I felt really bad about everything and everyone around me. Nothing in my world was right.
I hope that this little bit of explanation is enough for you to forgive me for the way I have treated you. I really miss you and want to be friends with you.
Of course these are my words the words of an adult many years older than you. I would suggest you follow what I have said but use what I have said to write something similar in your own words.
Most important is to give your friend and understanding of why you were like you were so she can have a reason to forgive you. One thing about the 12 step program that you must understand and accept. Is that she may not forgive you or want to be friends again. IF so you have to accept this especially given your ages. It may be hard for her to understand why you were the way you were. Accept it and move in.
I hope you are receiving treatment for you depression. If you are this is a very good subject to discuss with your therapist.
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