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I'm lusting for a man twice my age
I work with a man who is 41, and I'm turning 21 in november. We've made plans to go out before but it always fell through. I really like him and something might happen with this but is he too old? He has one kid who is younger than I, and my parents are older than him, so I keep telling myself he's not.
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Is this weird?
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The usually accepted barrier for "ew!" is your age minus seven, times 2. So for you, it would be 38. 41 is just over the line.
You are an adult, so is he. If you want "something to happen" (weird how girls talk about sex as if it was just this random lightning strike that they had no responsibility for), then hey - "something" will probably "happen".
But don't kid yourself that it means more than it does.
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I would say weird is like some would say beauty is; it is in the eye of the beholder. Age after all is mostly just a chronological number.
Things to take into consideration when going into a relationship some would called a May/December relationship is: That the older person has formed certain ways about them and how they like to live their lives. While you may want to go out dancing he may prefer to go out for a nice dinner and then home to sit by the fire or watch TV.
Then their are children to consider. First do you want children. He has had his children and may not want any more. Also if you do have children he will be well into his sixties and possibly retired before they finish college.
These are just two questions you need to ask or discuss. The younger person gives up a lot of their youth if they marry someone much older than themselves.
Last but not least is the question itself. You say you are lusting for him. You do not say if he is still married. My big question to you is: Are you just looking to have an affair with him or are you looking for a long term relationship?
If you're looking to just have an affair with him I advise against it as these workplace affairs usually end up poorly. If you are looking at a possible life commitment with him then my question is: Is he available to make such a commitment? If so refer to the questions above before jumping into this type of relationship or you could end up hurting both of you.
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Its not weird, its just society sees it as unconventional.
In evolutionary terms, its completely normal though, and understandable. Perhaps the saying 'we want what we can't have' is fitting for this situation?
No one has the right to tell you who you can and can not be with any more-as you're legally an adult and so is he!
I think it comes down to what kind of relationship you and he want? To settle down? Possibly it could work. A quick short term thing? Forget it, its not fair on his child.
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Some people say age is just a number, But age is also based on many things.
This man is 20 years older and will always have more experience in life. Reality, You ARE legally an adult and nobody can stop you. In a personal opinion, Yes I do think he is too old for you..
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