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advice

okay i broke it up with my boyfriend and now he wont talk to me and i dont know why i really miss talking to him it kinda makes me mad sometimes like he is hiding some thing from me...i really dont know

Hey,
He most likely isn't talking to you because he's upset and doesn't want you to know. Give him a little time and then try and see if he's OK. Give yourself some time to adjust to him not being around, too. You'll both be fine soon :)
Good luck!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I am a practicer of the occult as are you(just as useless knowlage)I really like this girl I know and I once used a love spell on her It has started to work but I am very shy to even ask because of how low my popularity status is already if i were regected I would be cast away by all my friends Including your Andie jayne/aj what should i do to let her know how I feel I am 13 years old as is she

Hey,
first off...love spells are never, ever right...OK, this may be me preaching slightly (*cough-understatement-cough*) as a Wiccan here, but even general Pagans don't practice love spells because it's seen as bending someone's will...unless of course it was one to attract a willing person to you? But then again I suppose if you're not Pagan or Wiccan it doesn't really matter. And even if you don't go in for the whole, 'you should never bend anyone's will thing', at least consider the fact that if this spell worked...she would love you for you, she'd love you for the spell. Could you really deal with that? Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't.
Don't worry about your popularity - talk to your friends if you're worried about being cast away by them. I'm sure they wouldn't, and even if they do then they aren't very good friends anyway...
And yup, you're right, you should totally talk to this girl!! Don't let any chance you have with her pass you by :)
Feel free to ask anything else if you want to :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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ok so i really like this guy and i have liked him for a long time. and at one point i know that he liked me but nothing happened and the christmas break came but the only time i really get to talk to him is in the morning when i go to church before school and i see him at school and all he really does is aknowledge me with like a smile or a nod of his head but i hardly ever talk to him at school. but i do talk to him at church and he is always looking at me during church and then when i look bak he says something like he has been trying to get my attention the whole time. i wanna ask him to the saddie hawkins(spelling?) dance. should i? my best friend thinks that i should?whats ur advice?thanks

Ask him! You never know what his answer will be until you try :) And seen as you don't talk to him all that much, what have you got to lose by trying? He sounds like he likes you anyway :D Maybe leave him a note or tell him when you're going into/coming out of church?
Good Luck!!!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx
P.S. And congrats on being my 100th question answered!! Lol!

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My teacher put us in groups and she put me with all ppl i basically hate! and i don't think we'll get anything accomplished cuz none of like each other! what should i do? thanks!

Heya,
This happened to be in Drama last week - it sucks doesn't it!! Me and my friends spoke to our teacher this afternoon and asked that, if we can't go together, then could we at least please go with people who don't hate us? And she let ut go together!! You never know until you try :) Also try explaining that you're not getting any work done in these groups...and if your teacher still doesn't listen, do you have a tutor or anyone like that you could mention it to? Whatever you do, overstress the fact that you can't work like that, because that's more likely to get the teachers on your side :)
Good luck!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Ok..I have to go get a root canal sometime this week I think..and I guess there going to give me laughing gas. or whatever its called..i havent had it before so can anyone tell me what its like..and if you can still feel anything they're doing? and if they've had laughin gas with a root canal..and if it hurt! Thanks..im really scared =(

I'm pretty sure that they don't give you laughing gas any more...they usually use numbing injections.
When I had my teeth out, I had numbing injections...they hurt (kind of scratch) a little, but it's honestly nothing too bad, and I'm such a wimp :) If you're worried about numbing injections, put some bonjela (weak numbing jelly stuff) on your gums around the tooth before hand or ask them for numbing gel when you get there - that's what I did and it really stopped the injections hurting!!
Hmm...I don't know what a root canal feels like, but I have heard that it's less painful afterwards than it is before when you need it done...
Either way, take some paracetamol or nurofen with you because after about half an hour, numbing injections and laughing gas wear off and it may start to hurt.
Good luck and don't worry!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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does anyone no any really good books. My mom wants me to get into reading (i hate reading) so i need a good book thatti wont hate to read!

anything will do! thanks a lot!

Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman...sooo good...really amazing book, everyone I know (even the people who hate reading) love it. It's like a novel but from two different people's point of views and it's funny, sad, and really, really brilliant written.
I personally loved I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith although I know a lot of people found it weird...Bridget Jones' Diary (the book) by Helen Fielding is hilarious and really easy to read. The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot are OK if you want something light hearted and American-teen-ish, although once you get past about book 3 they get repetitive. Speak by Laurie ------- (sorry, I'm not sure on their last name) is a really good book, short and really moving and quite funny in places.
Goodnight Mr Tom by Michelle Magorian is really sweet, and I really loved Witch Child by Celia Rees, although some people might find it a bit odd.
Go into your school library or local library and check out the teen section...there are loads of random funny books in there that don't take much thinking about, such as Guitar Girl and the French Kiss Diaries...the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series by Louise Rennison are also really great!!
Good luck and I hope I suggested something you'll like!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I was just shoveling yesterday alot and last night when I was sleeping I noticed my back hurt ALOT. Today even when Im typing I cant bend over because it hurts too much. What can I do to stop it from hurting? Please help!
Jacki

Hey,
try some muscle rubs such as nurofen or radian, and try to relax it as much as possible - don't hold it stiff!
If you have acess to an infra red lamp (they are only about £9.99 to buy from Boots, Supadrug, any kind of big chemist store) that would probably really help too!
I hope it gets better soon!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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It has been about a year that my ex and I have been working on our relationship. I cheated and realized that it was a mistake and we have been trying to fix it ever since. We are divorced. It was what he wanted, I gave into it cause I had no room to protest. He doesn't trust me, he tells me that he wants it to get back together, but he has a trust issue and doesn't believe a word I say. I have tried everything I can think or to get him to talk to me about. He likes the time we spend together, but he says it is a friendship thing. He doesn't have the feelings of love yet. Yet I get confused because he always wants to see me, wants to hear from me at work and when I am on my way home (we don't live together), but he only looks at us now as friends. We still are intamate with each other. Friends don't do that though. I have asked how I can earn back his trust and he tells me at one time he will see it forhimself and there are times he says he may never getit back. I just don't know what to do. I want this to work and I ty so hard, just whaen it goes ok I ask how he feels and he gets mad....what can i do to help him open up? To trust me and believe my feelings are true?

Willing to help,

Mickey

Hey,
From the amount of calling etc he's doing, it sounds like he really does love you still but doesn't want to admit it to himself in case he gets hurt again.
Maybe marriage counselling would help?
I think that all you can really do yourself is to keep talking things over with him whenever he looks like he wants to - although don't constantly ask him if he's OK with things because that's like reminding him that he shouldn't trust you. Don't give him anything to be suspicious about, be totally and completely honest about everything, don't hesitate to tell him anything (including how you feel). The only person who knows how you can get his trust back is him - talk to him when he next brings it up :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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okay i keep haveing the smae problem with my friends. This one girl always takes the other ones side because she is like obesessed wiuth her and she doesnt want the girl to get mad at her and then i am left with no friends what do i do.

p.s. this happens about every week

OK....the 1st girl, who always takes the other's side, sounds really insecure about her friendships...almost like she's scared she'll lose them if she doesn't take the others side? Your other friend will need to reassure her that that's not going to happen. As for this other friend...she seems pretty argumentative! You two should both try your hardest not to argue and talk things over calmly when you do :)
You should probs also get out there and make some other pretty good friends and hang out with them for about half your time, that way you have someone to go to when these arguements happen, and if you genuinely like them and spend time with them you won't be using them :)
Good luck and Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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my best friend has a boyfriend who she thinks is more important than me. when i say something about him, she gets mad at me!does that mean she doesnt care about me anymore?

Of course she cares about you, she's just wrapped up in her boyfriend stuff a bit at the moment :)
Talk to her and tell her that you love that she's happy but you want the old her back too sometimes!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I have a boyfriend who is abusive. He doesn't hit me.. but he makes me fear him. He's always telling me that my best friends don't like me and that i'm not as special or great as i think i am. When i ask him why he would say that because it really hurts he says that it's the harsh truth and i need to realize it and stop being such a poser. I'm also bisexual and he tells me that i say that to fit in.. that that isn't really who i am. he thinks he knows me so well but he really doesn't. Normally i wouldn't put up with this kind of stuff, i'd break up with him, but the problem is is that i really really love him. For a year we went out on and off 7 times.. this is the 8th. He's the one who always persued me and the one guy i always knew loved me. he's never treated me like this before and it scares me and i don't know what to do because i miss him.. the guy he was.. the guy who would run away with me.. the guy who loved me.. i don't know what to do and i don't think i'm strong enough to leave him.. please help

If you need persuading to go back into the relationship then you most likely don't love him...
Please get yourself out of there before things get too bad! Are you sure that you love him and you're not just scared of what will happen (i.e. you won't be able to get someone else, he'll get violent, etc) if the relationship breaks up?
Don't stay somewhere where you aren't happy - life is too short!!
I know it's hard but you really do have to get out of there...maybe you could talk to ChildLine or a counsellor to help you through it and to decide what to do?
Good luck!!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Alot of my friends are really annoyed by one of my friends latley. She's going out with someone that she doens't really like (she likes 2 other ppl) and one of them is some one that her friend got dumped by (it's been a month but she still really likes him)and sometimes she wears clothes that r uh...too small and well...i'm torn between my tow friends, they both have good points but i don't kno wut to do, i don't want one ot hate me.

plz help me

Hey,
You don't have to choose. If you're being pressurised into choosing between them, then explain that that is not what friends do and you just don't want to. You say you're annoyed 'lately' - that means it's probably a phase and she'll soon get over it :)
One of the people who are annoyed (not all of them because it'll be like ganging up on the other friend) should talk to her about how annoying she's getting. It might get her to see sense.
Good luck!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Anybody have any idea what's a fun way to study fro such a boring midterm...by myself though I dont like studying with other people. bI have a feeling Im gonan fail so bad that I may just even cheat...but ya know, they're find out knowing my luck..and I wouldnt do it anyways..so any ideas on how to study? I have the materials but...I just dont know how to get started.

There really is no fun way to study by yourself :(
I guess the most 'interesting' way would be to change how you do your revision - an hour online, an hour re-writing up notes (that helps things to stick in your mind), an hour doing your favourite subject, that kind of thing. You could also write loads of little revision tips or things that you tend to forget (such as a certain equation in physics or a word in french, whatever) on post it notes and go round sticking them in places you'll see them :)
As for getting started...go through your notes and see what you don't understand. Write it out and then go through all that stuff...or start with the subject/topic which is first alphabetically?
Good luck on the exams!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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me and my boyfriend have been going out for like a week now. and the other day he asked me if i wanted sex.
we r madly in love, but im not sure if its the right time in the relationship?

what should i do?
luv nicki xxxxx

No offence, but you can't honestly be really in love after only a week - you don't know everything about each other yet!
You're right, it's definately not the right time in the relationship!! You should wait (a lot longer) until it is the right time...and if he doesn't appreciate that, then he isn't the right guy for you. Talk to him about it and don't feel pressurised into doing something you don't want to!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i am doing a weight loss program and i told my friend and i think my other friends know and are making fun of me. what sould i do?
how do i know if there my true friends?
HELP ME
and
ill rate you a
5!

Thanx for your help
always
~blank~

Just ignore them!! They're most likely either teasing your good-naturedly or jealous that you're out there making your life better!
Talk to them and tell them it's bugging you if it starts to get out of hand, though.
Good luck with the diet!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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My exboyfriend who im still in love w, broke up w. his girlfriend. He called me nd told me that he wanted to be friends and that he missed talking to me nd having me around. When we hang out or were around each other there's always that special bond between us, were always flirting and attracted to each other. But a few days ago he told me that he we really wanted to be friends,nd that he didn't want me to get attached to him because he really didn't know what was going to happen and he didn't want to me to get hurt.He says the reason he stoped talking to me was because his girlfriend made him, nd he told me that when he was her sometimes he just wanted to pick up the phone nd call me just too see how i was doing. But now i don't know how to handle this, this kid will always have my heart nd i couldn't picture myself w. any1 else but him. But i don't know what i should do. Im so worried that he may go back to her nd then here i am alone again, without him even as a friend. Please help me figure out what nd how i should act on this.

He obviously still really cares about you so go for it!!
You two need to talk, and now that the other girlfriend is out of the picture, there's nothing standing between you :) Figure out what you both really want, and even if it isn't each other, at least you won't both be left wondering what could have been.
If he's got any sense he'll go back to you :)
Like I said though, you two really need to get together and talk things over (maybe you could suggest a place that was important to both of you when you were going out? E.G. the site of your first date/kiss etc) now that you can! Don't let the chance pass you by!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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me nd this kid *craig* broke up last week.well he broke up with me for no reason. ive tried callin him many times to find out wut happened and he just gets mad and calls me annoying. im still in love with him but he seemed to get over me soo quickly! nd on top of it hes gorgeous. i want to get back together with him cuz i miss him. I DONT WANT TO KEEP callin him tho
help me pleasee i rate 5

Stop calling him because it's obviously annoying you as much as it is him!! You should probably confront him face to face - be mad rather than sad if it helps!! Just be like, 'hey, I think I deserve to know why you ended our relationship like that' or something along those lines.
And he's just a jerk and a guy, so he would get over it quicker than you...you'll get over it, just give it time (and lots of chocolate!) :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Well I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. We're both 17, I'm a junior and he's a senior which means he'll be graduating this year. We're really close and madly in love. I'm just really afraid of what will happen when he goes away to college. All the colleges he has applied to are somewhat close to here besides one. I watch movies and shows and see couples break up all the time with the whole college situation. I was wondering what other people thought about my situation. I love him so much, and we're both willing to try and make it work. I'm just really scared, it's crazy what love can do to you. So I was wondering if anyone could suggest anything..thanks a bunch

You should be fine - you say that you're both willing to keep trying, so that's all that matters!! Hang on in there and make sure that you don't give up at the first hurdle, and try not to get jealous over who he might be hanging round with at college (and vice versa for you too).
Maybe you could see each other every weekend and do something special but different every time? Make sure you don't do the same thing every week or it'll get old :) You could go to the cinema, have a picnic, go round to each others houses, go to dinner somewhere, go on a double date with your mates, go to a fayre...anything you can think of!
Good luck!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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okay i have a major problem

my school has the biggest clique system EVER....like you wouldn't believe how many cliques there are. Its such a big deal....and its really get on my nerves to the point where I can't concentrate on my school work and my grades are slipping. This is because I'm at the bottom of the pit I only have a few friends (1 or 2) but still I wish I had more and theres a certain group that I would like to make friends with and they seem nice but I'm soo shy and people say I'm one of the shyest girls in the grade and that I hardly speak. I know I should speak more but its hard for me and I think I have social anxiety. Please help as high school is starting next year and I don't know whether to switch schools or change my image at the school I am going to (the school I am at has the grades pre-k till 12th). Also my school is one of the best schools in the nation and that is another reason why I am having a tough time deciding whether to leave it simply because of the cliques. I heard someone call me a reject and a loser at school....and to be honest I am a reject, but I know I'm not a loser. Please help, thank you sooo much!!

Hey,
my school is totally like that - one of the best in the country, I mean - and I'm always wanting to leave it, but you've just gotta think what it would look like when you apply for a job - 'so and so went to ------- school but quit'. D'ya know what I mean?
Stick with it and be strong :)
About the cliques...people always want to be in one of them to feel more accepted, but trust me it's not as great as it sounds. The people in these cliques are generally pretty nasty and have put a lot of people down to get to where they are. I'm betting that you and your 1 or 2 friends are REAL friends - you'd never get that in clique. If you did something wrong and they could use it to their advantage, they would. You're better off out of them!
If you're really concerned about this social anxiety, I would contact your school counsellor and s/he could help put you in the right direction, just remember that there's nothing wrong in being shy! Also, check out this website, it has some tips on how to be more confident -- http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/famfri/emotwb/articles/0,,161285_659878-1,00.html?nlcid=c|481,10740

-- it's mainly relationship stuff, but it has some pretty good general stuff in there too.

Just always remember that the 'popular' people are just as nervous as you are a lot of the time - they've just learnt how to hide it.
And you are most definately NOT a loser or a reject, so don't let anyone ever tell you so! Anyone who does is most likely just jealous of the fact that you are a real person with real friends and you're free to be yourself - these 'popular' people in the cliques have to wear a mask 24/7. Do you really want to be part of that?
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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What are some cool stuff to do on the weekends? me and my friends need more cool things to do.
thanks in advance.

Hey,
You could maybe go for picnic type things (if that sounds lame, look at it like this - you get to eat, sunbathe, and then have a food fight! :P) when the weather gets warmer? Or start a new club together?
You could even start your own kind of 'fit club' and excersize together :) Or go to the cinema, shopping? Lol, you could always go into clothes shops and try on the funniest clothes you can find and laugh at each other! Oh, there's also a HUGE list of funny dares to do round shopping centres that I have somewhere...mail me if you want it and I'll find it out for you!! (It's stuff like, go up to a store official while handling knives and ask where the anti depressants are, set all the alarms to go off at 5 minute intervals, etc etc etc).
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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