about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i am 17 years old,and i am a girl.I am pahtetic cause i cannot do anthing right.There is nothing i want in this world except to die.I love my family but i just cant live in this world anymore...Please can someone help me.

You are 17 years old and ready to give up on life. A bit over dramatic given that you say you love your family. That in itself is reason to go on living. Can you begin to imagine the hurt your death, for any reason, would cause your family for they love you too.

You have not given a reason for why you feel as you do. No one is as pathetic as you seem to feel you are. Frankly you are being a bit melodramatic about whatever is causing you to feel this way.

Are you having problems with school work? We can get you help for that. Are you being teased and bullied at school? We can fix that. Tell us what the problem is and no matter how large it may seem to you I can assure you we can offer you several different solutions.

Do you need or want someone to talk to, someone you can confide in? That I can help with right now. There are many different helplines out there waiting for people just like you to call them and talk to them. Whatever you say to them stays between you and the person you speak with. They can even arrange for you to speak with a confidant in your own home town if you ask them.

Below are phone numbers to two I think will be most helpful to you. Both are open 24/7 365 days a year.

1-800-273-8255; The National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Professionally trained volunteers answer the phone. Your call is automatically routed to a crisis center near you. You do not have to give your name and they do not see your phone number. They will talk with you as long as you need to speak with them. They will also find you someone close to where you live that you can visit and speak with, if you ask them too.

1-800-668-6868; This is the hotline for kidshelpPhone.ca which is also there web address. This organization is specifically geared to helping people under 20 with things such as I first asked you about. If you are having problems with being bullied, teased, dating or other relationships these are the people you want to talk to.

All conversations with these helplines are strictly confidential. I urge you to call one of them. I also urge you to call 911 if you are having suicidal thoughts. This is what 911 is for and you do not need anyone's permission to call them. Just pick up a phone and tell the call taker you are having suicidal thoughts. Help will be sent to you and the call taker will stay on the line with you until help arrives.

You can if you wish write back to any of us in a private message with just what is bothering you. I assure you that if we can offer you some help we will respond to you as soon as we receive your message.

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She's such a mystery !!!! i'm 17 and she's 15 ,we're having sex (sometimes unprotected sex) but i'm quite sure she's not pregnant , i'm absolutely sure...
anyways she pukes everyday!! if not puking, it's a headache! if it's not a headache it's a puke, and so on and so forth...
so pleaseeeeeeee if you can discover what the HELL is wrong with her you would be the smartest human being and my savior!
oh by the way (PS) , she had gastric in her stomach but that was treated and healed...

THANK YOU MY SAVIOR whoever finds out...
Hugs and High Fives to all answers

How sure are you that she is not pregnant? Did she take a home pregnancy test? If it was negative I would have her take another one; for puking and headaches are two symptoms of pregnancy.

In any case pregnant or not she needs to see a doctor for this is not right and it has nothing to do with just after sex effects. That's about as far as we non doctors can go with this.

What I will tell you is to pray she is not pregnant for she is under the age of consent to have sex. Depending on what state you live in. Besides being legally and financially responsible for the child if she decides to have it and keep it. You could be in trouble with the law for having non-consensual sex. Yes I know she said yes but in the eyes of the law she cannot say yes therefore she did not and rape charges could be placed against you.

I don't wish to be the bearer of bad news or to try a scare you. This is real life and this could be the consequences of your actions. There are very few states where a minor, someone under 18, can consent to sex under the age of 17 or 18. There are a few that allow consent at 16 but I do not know of any that allow consent at 15.

Have your girlfriend take another home pregnancy test. Get her to a doctor. By law she does not need parental consent to see a doctor or be treated for a possible pregnancy.

As to sex with her in the future. My suggestion is you stop. Find someone your own age to have sex with. It is safer for you.

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How to enjoy sex life

Your question is rather vague. Just what is it about a sex life you want to know. I would also like to know your age, please be honest and your gender.

I will tell you this. A sex life is not a sport to see how many people you can sleep with. A sex life is suppose to be a time of great intimacy.

What is so intimate about sex? First two people are naked together and most importantly a part of one persons body is invading another. It does not get anymore intimate then that. It is from this point that you decide what type of sex life you desire.

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Okay I'm 18 and about 10 days ago me and my boyfriend of 2 years had sex and we normally only have it every once in a while. Every time we used a condom and have no contact before hand that would lead to pregnancy that way and none of the condoms broke. But ever since then my breasts have been really sore and at first I thought it was just bruising but now i've started to freak myself out over the fact that it could be an early sign of pregnancy. I have no idea why they would hurt in the first place unless it is the week before i'm supposed to get my period and well as far as I know it isn't. I had my last period end a couple days before we had sex. We are both extremely scared and to be honest this is why I usually say no to having sex. Can someone give me any advice if this has ever happened to you or if you know anything?

There are other reason other than pregnancy for your breast to be hurting. Just as there are more signs of pregnancy than sensitive breasts.

The first thing I suggest is the need to put your mind at ease one way or another. That means you need to take a home pregnancy test. If the test is negative which based on your writing it may very well be. Then you need to see your GYN to find out what is causing them to be so sore. My best bet is stress over thinking you may be pregnant. Stress is the number one cause of pain and missed periods.

As to possible pregnancy. You said,"I had my last period end a couple days before we had sex." In order to get pregnant you have to ovulate and eject an egg to be fertilized. Most women, 80%, ovulate sometime during the middle two weeks of their cycle." The other 20% can ovulate anytime during their cycle, including during their period.

Given when you had sex; the odds are in your favor that you were not ovulating at the time. This means no egg was available for fertilization. Their are kits at the drug store you can purchase that will help you to know when you ovulate so you know when to definitely refrain from sex.

In short my advise is:

1. Take a home pregnancy test. If negative go to 2.

2. See a doctor about causes for painful breasts. My bet is that a negative HBT will cure you breast pain. Even so checking in with your GYN is advisable for if stress was the underlying cause. You should talk to the doctor about this problem as stress will only get more prominent in you life as you get older.

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I know this is a weird question, but I'm going to try.

How do you tell the difference between just acting like another gender and actually wanting to BE another gender? I'm a bit confused with my gender myself and am hoping to know how to tell the difference.

Thank you!

Gender Identification and sexuality to a point go hand in hand. You could be gay, bisexual, pansexual or straight in either gender you identify with.

It is very possible, as we are finding out today, for say a boy physically to actually be more a girl than boy. In other words she is a girl in the wrong body. If you feel as if your gender does not match who you physically you are not acting you are felling.

Just who you are and what your sexuality will be at your age can be confusing. If this is something you have just started to feel it may be just curiosity and not truly wanting to be another gender. Most people who report wanting to be another gender seem to know this from early childhood.

As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I realize this is the type of question that talking with your parents would be hard for you to do. If you are having this issue, which it appears you are, then I urge you to find away to talk with mom or dad about this.

One way to break the ice about this issue with them is write them a letter. The reason for the letter is it allows you to get all you thoughts down on paper and written out without interruption.

Your parents will read the letter in its entirety that I can assure you. Whereas in conversation you may not be able to get everything out before being interrupted. Tell them in the letter you are having gender identification issues. You can also tell them that a kindly old man on a advisory site suggested that this would be a way of asking them for help. That he also suggests that they seek the help of a psychologist to help you figure out what is happening.

Please believe this about yourself. You have done nothing wrong. Working with a psychologist will help you find out a real answer to your question that we as advisors cannot give you. Should it turn out you are one of the people that are gendered wrong the psychologist will help you deal with it and give you options for later in life.

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Okay, well 274 days ago my best friend moved back to Thailand. Ive had friends move before- 7to be exact- but i never missed them so much. She moved here 4 years ago (her father is a diplomat) and had to move back. Before she moved, we were in a trio. Me, Erica and her. I remember the day she told us she was moving back. We cried all day and had to go home from school because we were disrupting other students. Needless to say, we were heartbroken. We Skype every week and I've asked my mum if next year when I'm fourteen I can go to Thailand to visit her. I've been saving for two years, because I knew she was going to leave some time. My mum says no because I'm too young. I miss her so much and cry about it every night. I don't know what to do. Please help! Any advice at all is appreciated

I'm afraid this time I'm going to have to agree with your mom. Thailand is a much different country with a much different culture and ways about it then here at home. For right now at your present age you are too young, too immature in the ways of the world to be allowed to go to a country like Thailand on your own.

What I would suggest is that you do not give up on your desire to see your friend again. There are two ways you can do so.

1. Is to keep your grades high and learn the language of Thailand while in school. In your senior year you can apply to be an exchange student if her parents will sponsor you.

2. Continue to save. You will continue to grow and become more mature worldly. Continue to study about Thailand so you know about its culture and how they live. Hopefully in a year or two mom will change her mind.

When you're 18 you will no longer need moms permission as you will be an adult. Still a trip such as this should be with moms permission if you plan on going to college with mom footing the bill for school.

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19/f

So, my best friend since high school and I now attend college together. This summer, we started becoming more physical; ie, holding hands at the movies, putting his arm around me, etc. It was very strange at first, but we both were newly single, so I wrote it off as a nice, platonic human connection.
The other night, we got drunk at a party, and he stayed at my place for the night.
Long story short, we ended up making out on my couch. The next day, we acted as if nothing was amiss, went along with our day, and that night, we were watching a movie. He had his arm around me, and I asked him if everything was ok, and he said that anything more than cuddling probably "wasn't okay". But then about five minutes later, we went at it again.
Nobody knows about this, because we agreed to simply not talk about it. I have no idea how to feel about all this. He's my best friend, and I don't want to be his girlfriend. I would definitely go for round three, but I don't know if this is going the wrong direction/will ruin our relationship.
Help!

I agree with lightoftruth that not talking about what is happening between you is wrong and can eventually hurt your present relationship. The most important thing in any successful relationship, even just being friends, is communication.

You two are at the point now where you have to let the other know just how far you are willing to go forward with your friendship. If cuddling could take you down a road that either of you think could harm your relationship then you need to talk about that and put a stop to the cuddling.

You are at that point where sex is definitely the elephant in the room. Sex between you could be the worst mistake you could make or it could solidify your relationship to the point you two make a lifetime commitment to each other. After all you are good friends now and if you are sexually compatible you have 2/3 of a great life partnership. Then there is the sex with benefits thing to discuss. The sex may be great and you may still have the 2/3 thing working you two just don't see yourselves as a couple.

That is all well and good. The problem is if you do not discuss it this elephant which is in the room will come between you and ruin your friendship. If your friendship is that good that cuddling feels good and allowable. Then you can discuss the other things and get the elephant out of the room and set your boundaries so both know where they are.

These boundaries are movable should you two decide to change them. For now at least you have them and with them your friendship should remain and hopefully prosper.

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My mum's planning to buy one (she's 55) because both her aunts were on nursing facilities before for dementia. She's still young and does not exhibit any signs of forgetfulness or other symptoms that is somehow related to dementia. I mean, is this logical? Buying an LTCI? Heeeeelp

Having long term care insurance is not a bad idea; it certainly cannot hurt her. Having been a member of a Fire Department Rescue Squad I have seen my share of Nursing Homes.

While Medicaid and Medicare will provide nursing home care you first must exhaust all of the patients assets. This includes selling their home and using the equity to pay for the nursing care.

From what I have seen I would not want to put my relative in a Medicaid or Medicare bed in a nursing home if I could afford not to. So someone without long term care insurance who outlives their personal assets could become a burden on the children's financial abilities as well.

I have also seen children put a parent or parents in to assisted living facilities then rely on services such as Rescue Squads to pick up the slack in care that these facilities do not provide.

This does not happen for long. Frequent fliers as they are called are reported to the appropriate public service agency for intervention. 911 services are for emergency care. We cannot be tied up caring for someone that should be in a higher level of care facility. If we are tied up caring for this person, then a person with a true emergency could die because we are not available and a Squad a distance away has to cover the call.

Yes there are some good nursing homes out there that provide excellent care regardless of whether the patient is full paid or on Medicaid or Medicare. The problem is they are few and far between.

You mom may be in good health today and hopefully remains that way. For now instead of calling it long term care insurance. Call it peace of mind insurance for that is what it is for your mom at the moment. Peace of mind insurance that she won't become a burden on you and your family in the future.

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Normally 13 yearold girls such as me love jeans. Exactly skinny jeans, designer jeans, jeans with Hollister's logo all over it.
Thing is, I HATE JEANS. They are so tight and feel so weird to me! I like loose and free clothing, like sweats. But I can't wear that to school! I ugly enough as it is!
i try every size, but i hate wearing them. I feel the same why with tights or leggings.

I used to wear this stuff but now I hate it, why? And what can I wear so I look at least a bit pretty?

I cannot tell you the exact why of how you feel but I can give you some reasons for why you feel as you do.

Lets start with the fact that you're 13 years old. At this age a lot of things are happening in your life and with in you. Puberty accounts for many things that we feel about ourselves. You say you're ugly. I don't know you but I really don't think that's true. I think you are comparing yourself to other girls who may be developing faster than you are.

When females, unlike boys, go through puberty their entire bodies change from head to toe practically. Features soften, curves develop, breasts enlarged, butts become more dimensional to your body. This does not happen overnight, it takes several years before the finished you is finally in place. While most of these changes happen in your early teen, the finishing work can continue all through puberty which can continue into your early twenties.

The above may be the reason behind how you feel. You do not have to conform to trends or styles if they do not feel right to you. You could be developing your own style; nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with being a nonconformist either.

When I was your age, and I am old enough to be your grandfather, we had what is called the beatnik age or beatniks. Now if you want to talk about nonconforming styles they set the trend on that.

The problem with setting your own style of being a nonconformist is trying to live within the world we live in. I understand your school may have certain restrictions on what is acceptable dress for school. In the same vain the school what's you to be comfortable in school so that you get the most out of what they are offering in the way of an education.

There are two ways to handle this situation. While sweats may not be allowed in school there may be other types of clothing that are loose fitting enough for you to be comfortable that the school will allow. Try and find something that you feel comfortable in take a picture of yourself in that style of clothing and show it to school administrators or your guidance counselor. Ask if this style or type of clothing would be acceptable and explain why just as you did to us.

As I said the school administrators want you to be safe and comfortable in school. If you feel better about yourself in this style of clothing and it is not to far outside the dress code I believe they will allow you to wear this style to school. How you dress out of school is strictly your own business and style.

The other way of handling the dress code problem at school is to speak with your parents and tell them how you feel. Here again find a style of clothing you are comfortable in that might be acceptable for school. Then ask you parents to meet with school administrators to get permission for you to dress in this fashion at school.

What is most important here are two things:

First: Self-image; If you think you are ugly them you will be ugly regardless of how beautiful you may be. Never put yourself down it is self defeating and there is no reason for it. The only person you have to be better than tomorrow is the person you are today. This has been my motto all my working life and it has stood be very well.

Second: Being a nonconformist; There is nothing wrong with this. Many of the great leaders, artist, musicians, writers, engineers and discoverers of many of the medical break discoveries have been nonconformists. If this is who you feel you may be. Embrace it do not hide from it.

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i gave my bf handjob and after some 20-30 min he fingered me...he wiped out his hand with the cloth and the tool after i gave him handjob..but i am scared if some amount have been left out then can i get pregnant..do give meproper answer plz..i am very tensed nw..need ur advice soon..plz reply as soon as possble..

While anything is possible it is highly unlikely you could get pregnant this way. There are more than enough bacteria on the average hand towel to kill the sperm plus sperm can not live outside the body for the length of time you have written about.

In the future good hygiene is always best. Have your boyfriend wash his hands after coming in contact with sperm, use hot water and soap. Have him use a different towel then the one you used to clean him up with.

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Okay so I have got an Ipad 2 with 32 GB
I updated the ios 7 on it and after that I turned it on and there was just the apple sign. But it didnt turn on at all. I thought this was part of the update so I waited 2 days but Its still in the same situation. Every now and then the apple sign goes away and theres just the black scren. Then there was this iTunes sign that I should plug it in with iTunes. So i did that, and i updated the latest verion of iTunes, then plugged the cable in to my ipad but iTunes couldnt find my device. What could I do? Thanks!

I do not believe ios7 is suppose to work on the IPAD2. Check with Apple. You may have to have them reformat it with the older software.

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my husband cant satisfy becoz husband is fell down his liquid very soon.i want to do sex long duration please suggest?

What do you mean by this. "is fell down his liquid very soon>"

I'm sorry this makes no sense to me as such I cannot answer your question.

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my boyfriend has been trying to force me to have oral sex with him but im not sure, i was going to but it looked gross,ad felt odd, what should i doo? and it sticks too ewww!

First: When it comes to sex you need to be consenting to anything you do sexually. If you are forced or being forced, even with oral sex, it is RAPE.

Now as far as oral sex is concerned, pardon the pun, it is an acquired taste. Not all man will give a woman oral sex and not all women will give a man oral sex. If you enjoy having you BF giving you oral sex then you should at least try to give him oral sex. IF you find it gross or unpleasant then you don't have to.

As I said it is a learned experience. The first time may not be pleasant but after a few tries you may come to enjoy it. Most important is that you not be forced. If you are forced you will not only not enjoy it you are being raped.

Rape is not strictly penetration of the vagina. Rape is any sexual contact that is not consensual on your part. So tell the BF to stop forcing you. He is not technically committing rap. He is committing rape by forcing you and can be charged with rape if you so desire to charge him.

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Hi everyone, I'll try to make this brief

-I'm a divorced female, My ex husband cheated on me with another woman- so it caused some major trust issues with me.
-I've been divorced for 2 years.
-I've been with a wonderful guy for 1.5 years, and he and I get along great, he and my little girl even get along great. We have the same goals, ideals etc. And we're planning on getting married and buying a house together soon.

-My boyfriend treats me great, but I'm always worrying that he's talking to other women behind my back...one in particular- a woman he lived with for a few years before we were officially dating. I was uncomfortable with it- even though he said they were only friends and it was nothing more than that- but he moved out for me anyways. He's never said much about the woman, so I find myself constantly obsessing over the details....worrying that he'll end up leaving me for her one day because they had a history together- even if it was platonic (which I don't believe...I don't think a non-related man and woman can live together for years without sex being involved).

I should explain that I have a diagnosis of OCD and anxiety...so the obsessive compulsive thoughts are really hard to control... :( I worry myself sick every time he gets a text, thinking he's talking to some other woman...Sometimes I just think I should break up with him so I don't have to worry anymore...HOW do I control these thoughts , this constant worrying that he's cheating on me? I love him, and he loves me, but I'm tearing myself apart with the constant worry...it's hard not to after you've been cheated on in the past by someone who you honestly believed would never betray you...now I feel like NO ONE can be trusted and they will always betray you....I hate feeling this way...please help me figure this out.... Thank you.

Razhie is correct, we can't help you here. You need the help of a professional therapist. You have been diagnosed with OCD. You should be taking medication for this. If you are being treated by your family doctor and the medication is not working I suggest you see a psychiatrist.

No your not crazy and OCD is not a mental disease. It is a disease that is best treated by a psychiatrist who is a Medical Doctor first and then has taken advanced training in problems affecting the brain. OCD affects certain portions of the brain and a psychiatrist is better trained and has better knowledge of medications to treat OCD with than the family doctor.

Once on the proper medication for you. You can then work with a qualified psychologist to learn to control the effects OCD has caused. It will take hard on your part but you can over this.

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The questions everyone wonders is if a man and woman can be close friends.

An acquaintance, yes, a close personal friend? I am not sure. It's not that you can't maintain a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, it's that their (or your) romantic partners will very often ruin the friendship.


My GF and I lived together for about 6 months before we started dating. We had both had significant others, but then she broke up with hers and my relationship was in tatters already. When I approached her about a relationship she said she was interested, but worried that if it didn't work out it would ruin our friendship. I really hurt her feelings with my reply, which was something like this:

'Look, as much as I enjoy your friendship it is destined to fail. Sooner or later you will find a boyfriend and move out. Slowly we will lose contact because of your life with your new boyfriend. Your new boyfriend might be suspicious of us, especially since we have been living together.'

She took that as my not valuing her as a friend, but was completely wrong. I DID and still do value her friendship, but I was under no illusions that we could remain such close friends when she would eventually meet someone else. Our friendship was going to drop to the level of an acquaintance. Both of us went into this friendship with no attraction and no expectations. We were acquaintances for about 6 months when she found herself without a place to stay. She was an acquaintance who needed a place to stay and I was in need of additional income and with 2 spare bedrooms. I even cooked a big meal for the 4 of us (My then GF, her, her boyfriend and myself) one evening. I never particularly liked her BF, but I could be around him for short periods of time. Had that relationship continued, she would have eventually moved out and moved in with him and our friendship would have been significantly diminished back to the level of acquaintance. He was suspicious of our friendship and had my then GF not been there, it would have been "Move out of that house or I'm breaking up with you" and I wouldn't have blamed him. I have no doubt at all that if we hadn't hooked up, she would be a long lost friend or someone I occasionally chat with on the phone by now (it's been 10 years). I eventually forced the issue by saying 'you can't continue to live here with us both having romantic feelings for each other and remain friends'. Unbeknownst to me, she had already been looking to move out because she didn't want to be a home wrecker. I told her I was done with my now ex and that I was breaking up with her one way or another. So we gave it a try and we're still together.

Even close male friends will pull back from you when they get a new girlfriend, in my experience it is even worse when that friend is a woman. She now has obligations to this other guy who will be suspicious of a close male friend. At best, I think you can have acquaintances of the opposite sex, but unless the significant others really get along, it just fizzles out. I've had this happen a number of times with both male and female friends. Two couples that are all friends are the best set of circumstances I can think of if a good friendship can survive the other person's (and yours) romantic interests.

So to sum it up, I think it's not really that you can't be friends with a member of the opposite sex, it's that their love life (and possibly yours) will reduce the friendship to that of an acquaintance. It might also just be semantics and how I define the word "friend".

I think I can see both sides here though I'm somewhat at a loss as to how to explain what I see here.

First her side. You as her id she wants to be in a relationship then you tell her that when she is worried that if it does not workout a valued friendship was bound to fail anyway.

She is looking at the comfort and support of the friendship going to the next level. While you are being overly realistic with your thoughts on what could happen. Sure friendships do grow apart but they do not have too. While your explanation was realistic but the plausibility factor was lacking.

I believe what she heard was you were not looking for a relationship as much as you were looking for a friend with benefits relationship. That probably was not what you meant though it is easy for her to make that assumption.

Your problem in all this was a very or overly realistic answer to something that may or may not happen. Your friends now. Many great relationships start off on a friendship bases and grow from their.

Ask any happily married couple who their best friend is and they will almost always respond that it is their spouse. It has to be this way to stay married for a lifetime. I'm married 42 years, my wife is my best friend. She has to be to put up with me. No one but a best friend would put up with me or me with her.

sex is only one part of a relationship or marriage. In actuality as you grow in the relationship sex becomes less important to the relationship. Compatibility in other areas become important for you cannot spend your entire waking hours in bed making love.

Other interests such as Arts, Entertainment, food, Sports, vacations and yes even decorating become just as important. Then comes family; do you want children? If so how many? How close in age should they be? These are not stumbling blocks, these are a natural progression of any relationship that is going to survive and prosper.

In my younger days I changed jobs frequently as I built a reputation in the industry I chose to be in. When I was recruited I always accepted an offer on a condition that the offer was acceptable to my wife. Why, because she had a stake in how I earned my living as it left her home many nights alone with the children. One recruiter said he needed my answer then and there unconditionally. I knew what my wife's answer would be and knew I could accept his offer. I didn't, three weeks later they called me again, up there offer and asked me to call them back after I spoke to my wife.

Relationships and marriage are a 50/50 proposition. Your explanation sounded like the friendship be damned lets go to the next level and will deal with what happens later. This is not a 50/50 start.

I believe that you need to sit down with her and explain the realistic side of took control and that you are not looking for a friends with benefits relationship. That you do love her and want to see if a long term possibly life time relationship can be built. If so then you don't have to worry about friendship for she will always be your best friend.

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I'm a 13 year old nerd girl, and I need to know how to get a nerd boy to like me, or at least how to tell them I like them.

Nerdy boys are usually shy especially around girls. So do not expect him to come to you and start a conversation or even ask you out.

I can think of two ways to get him to know you and talk to you.

1. Ask him if he would help you with a subject in school that you know he likes and is interested in. Sort of tutoring you or helping you with homework. This gives you a common base to talk to each other. From here you can try to draw him out of his shyness and talk about other things and get to know you and hopefully like you.

2. In school on projects that might require that you work with a partner chose him. As a nerd he is probably the last one chosen. If you chose him over the more popular kids he will be shocked and pleased to be chosen rather than have a teacher assign him to someone.

Here again the project gives you a base in common to talk to each other. Then again it is on you to draw him out and get him to talk about other things.

Good luck.

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Hi. I am 18 years old and a female and as of the last 2 weeks I have started smelling really bad of BO. I literally just showered this morning and I stink again already and I don't even know why. I have tried different soaps and dont know what else it could be. Please help!

There are a number of different reasons for body odor. The two most popular reasons have nothing to do with hygiene.

One of the biggest reasons for body odor are caused by the foods we eat. Exactly what foods differ from person to person but are generally related to heavy spices and garlic. If you are of an ethnic group whose diet is filled with heavy amounts of spicy food this could be the problem.

The other reason is one of a medical condition. I'm not a doctor and I'm not sure exactly how to explain this to you. What I will say and suggest is that you visit your family doctor. Your doctor knows your physiology best. He or she also knows your ethnic background. Based on these factors and after a proper medical examination the doctor can offer suggestions on how to overcome your problem.

If it is a medical problem there are treatments that can be offered and you will be referred to a specialist for treatment.

In short it is not your hygiene that is the problem. You are not the only one to have a problem like this. The best solution for this problem will come from a medical professional and not good intentioned advisers such as those on this site.

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also is this feeling weird.

my mother is currently in jail until February for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. My dad said to find and write her a card to send her there since her birthday will be coming up. I have no problem doing this but some would say it is a bad thing since I would be supporting a criminal. Personally since her crime wasn't against me I think it is OK to support her in some ways like potentially sending her some books or something. If I do decide to send a card what should I write in it (I am horrible at thinking up more than one line to write) and was thinking of getting one of those jail themed related cards on the internet but then it might seem I am making fun of her, though I know she won't mind being teased like that




also, is this weird, I have talked to my on the phone while she is there and for some reason I feel more comfortable being open with her about anything now then when she was actually here. Any reason why I would feel that way now?

I think sending your mother a Birthday card would be very nice. I would suggest not getting a jail themed card but some other funny type would be appropriate. You never know what the jail mail censors will with hold.

As for you other question. I think mom being in jail you have become more empathetic with her plight and she with you which makes it easier to talk. I think it will remain this way when she comes home.

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I'm 40 years old. My whole life has been about surgeries, Drs, in office procedures, medications.I live with chronic pain. I live with a rare disease that has left my face disfigured. Badly. I've been abed by men severely and almost died. I have been on so many different antidepressants, seen many therapists, talked til I ccouldnt stand to hear myself anymore.im a recluse now. I do not want people I. My life. Flat out, I'm tired. I do not ever remember in my 40 yrs when I was happy. Yes there were small moments but no more than maybe a day. I have no more strength to keep fighting. Is there something I've failed to see?I want to be happy and I've tried. What gods did I anger in a past life that I'm making up for in this life. What does one do when they have no more fight left in them? Right now, I have no joy, never had it, have no desire to have it. All I want is to rest. I'm exhausted from the pain. No more. No less. I'm not even sure why I wrote this.

I too live with chronic pain. There are days, especially in the beginning when I saw no reason to go on. Then just as my doctor has always told me new treatments or something else will come along to lessen the pain.

My pain stems from a traffic accident I was involved in. I think it would be more tolerable if I was in someway responsible for the accident but I wasn't. In the 3 car wreck I was the only innocent victim. The only one that had to be removed from the car and the scene by the fire department.

Suicide is not an answer. It leaves behind many who are hurt by what you have done. It also leaves behind any chance you have that tomorrow the doctors will find a better treatment. That the plastic surgeon will find a way to fix the disfigurement. Don't say no for just 2 years ago face transplants did not happen and today they do.

I will tell you why you wrote. You wanted someone to tell you why you should not commit suicide. First it is because you really don't want to. Second because there are people, family that love you and will miss you. Third because there may be a discovery just around the corner. It did for me.

A new physical therapist my family doctor asked me to try found a muscle deep in my chest that attaches to the pelvis, where my pain is was tight. He could not release it though his techniques. I spoke to my pain doctor who said he could. We went in the OR and I had a pain score, daily of 3 to 4. When we came out of the OR my pain score runs about 0 to 1. This is why you keep fighting because you never know what is just around the corner.

What causes my pain will never be fixed. I will make annual trips to the OR so they can inject pain medication directly to the site of my pain and to burn the nerves out that transmit the pain. This will be my life for the rest of my life. All because some young kid blew a traffic light.

If I can do it so can you.

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So I'm 13 and this guy is 14 and we met at camp. He always starred at me and I starred at him. And a month ago I told him I liked him and he liked me back so we got together. Then after a week I see another girl hitting on him and that very night he dumps me. But I still really like him. And he knows that I'm sad but he doesn't know what I'm sad about ...I really like him. Ive never liked a guy this much

I'm sorry this boy has hurt you like this. It could very easily be him writing to say how hurt he is because a girl he liked dumped him. It is unfortunate but at your age this is just how things are. Some kids change boyfriends and girlfriends as often as there are days on the calendar.

If this was the first boy you really like as a boyfriend my mother, I'm old enough to be your grandfather, would have said. You are suffering from a case of puppy love. Meaning a first true love. Yes it hurts for it is real. You will heal and fall in love again and again many times probably before you find the man you marry.

This is also a learning experience. Don't give your heart away so fast in the future. we all tend to judge people based on their appearance. This is like judging a book by its cover. To do so will only end up getting you hurt. In the future play hard to get. Learn more about the boy beyond who he looks. Id this boy a player or is he a steady.

In my family we have something we call a pity party when we get hurt or something bad happens. My advice is to give yourself a pity party, have a good cry. Then forget him and find someone who will respect you.

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