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I have trust issues with my relationship
Hi everyone, I'll try to make this brief
-I'm a divorced female, My ex husband cheated on me with another woman- so it caused some major trust issues with me.
-I've been divorced for 2 years.
-I've been with a wonderful guy for 1.5 years, and he and I get along great, he and my little girl even get along great. We have the same goals, ideals etc. And we're planning on getting married and buying a house together soon.
-My boyfriend treats me great, but I'm always worrying that he's talking to other women behind my back...one in particular- a woman he lived with for a few years before we were officially dating. I was uncomfortable with it- even though he said they were only friends and it was nothing more than that- but he moved out for me anyways. He's never said much about the woman, so I find myself constantly obsessing over the details....worrying that he'll end up leaving me for her one day because they had a history together- even if it was platonic (which I don't believe...I don't think a non-related man and woman can live together for years without sex being involved).
I should explain that I have a diagnosis of OCD and anxiety...so the obsessive compulsive thoughts are really hard to control... :( I worry myself sick every time he gets a text, thinking he's talking to some other woman...Sometimes I just think I should break up with him so I don't have to worry anymore...HOW do I control these thoughts , this constant worrying that he's cheating on me? I love him, and he loves me, but I'm tearing myself apart with the constant worry...it's hard not to after you've been cheated on in the past by someone who you honestly believed would never betray you...now I feel like NO ONE can be trusted and they will always betray you....I hate feeling this way...please help me figure this out.... Thank you.
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Razhie is correct, we can't help you here. You need the help of a professional therapist. You have been diagnosed with OCD. You should be taking medication for this. If you are being treated by your family doctor and the medication is not working I suggest you see a psychiatrist.
No your not crazy and OCD is not a mental disease. It is a disease that is best treated by a psychiatrist who is a Medical Doctor first and then has taken advanced training in problems affecting the brain. OCD affects certain portions of the brain and a psychiatrist is better trained and has better knowledge of medications to treat OCD with than the family doctor.
Once on the proper medication for you. You can then work with a qualified psychologist to learn to control the effects OCD has caused. It will take hard on your part but you can over this.
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Go to therapy.
Your distrust is toxic. You'll end up unhappy, even if you end up with a man who is utterly and completely faithful for the rest of their life.
We can't help you here and the truth is - neither can he. Once you've become this irrational and obsessive, no matter how perfectly he acts, you'll never be okay until you get help.
Lots of people get cheated on. Most people, get cheated on at some point in their lives. It hurts and it's damaging, but if it's ruining your ability to be happy, then you need to unpack that with a professional.
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