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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Hi, I'm 12 sorry I lied about my age hehe,and this is serious I'm struggling with my weight, I weigh about 168lb, but don't go like what the heck because I'm really tall for my age "5.3", I asked people around my school to guess how much I weight and they all said 125-135, so that's good since i dont look like I'm carrying 60 extra pounds, becuase I only wear hoodies which are Baggie and not so tight jeans so I don't look fat, but I'm not comfortable with it, the last day of school I was wearing a hoodie and it was like 34 Celsius, nothing at the mall looks good on me and no shirts fit me what's so ever. Tbh I was skinny and tiny so I still have the other shirts but it makes me really sad to look at those shirts and remember how happy and confident I was, I hate going out, of the house cuz I don't have anything to wear, I hate the summer, I love girly things bu I act like a Tom boy so people don't judge me for dressing real bad, so I tried everything, 1)I took gym class,2)I ate healthy 3)I worked out 4)I ran But nothing seemed to work out and btw I kept doing it for a year, and then I realized that I had a slow metabolism , so my questions are 1) how to be more confident 2)how to fasten up my mateblisom 3)how to not care what people think thanks so much for who ever answers.
Hon, If you're doing all the right things to lose weight and it's not working, then there may be another issue. Even with a slower metabolism, a person just needs way more ex
ercise on a daily basis than the person with a fast metabolism. And no...i've never heard of a way to speed up or slow down ones metabolism. It may not be possible, but a professional, a dietician or Dr. would know.
Also, you are 12 and its the age of puberty for many or the year or two before it. I've known girls to put on weight along with other body changes during puberty and it comes off later as they grow way past it.
Have you talked to Mom? She sees you on a daily basis so a weight gain is not going to be obvious to her, not until you show her all the clothes you no longer fit in. You can ask her to take you to the Dr. for the concern of your weight. I don;t know how long ago you were skinny as you say, but if this all has changed quickly, like in a years time or less, it could be something else.
I worked with a woman who was very plump shall we say. She brought up the topic wishing she had the figure I had. So I asked if it was diet related for her or what her Dr. has to say. She told me she has thyroid problems and ever since those first started, her weight went up to its current state and has stayed there as apparantly its one thing that can happen if ones thyroid wasnt working properly. She takes medication for it but because of her condition, her weight was never going to go down from there she says she was told.
that was long ago. there may be more info known in the medical field today...but I share that as an example of a medical condition that could, despite all you do, not allow you to lose weight.
So I feel it best to get a check up by a Dr. Share as much info as you can think of that can help. Last time you fit in the smaller clothes, how quickly you gained, whether you've started your period, write down and take in examples of what you've eaten for all meals for the past two days including amounts related to size of a golf ball, a baseball, a deck of cards, a cup, two cups, etc. This is how dieticians figure proper amounts, same descriptions. Also give what exercise you get, how often and for how long as it all effects how many calories are burnt up.
Now, confidence is a BIG thing when it comes to looks or lets say...lack of them. Even skinny girls can have low self confidence cus they dont look like the media image of what is considered a pretty or sexy female. So the best way I know to gain confidence of your own, is to borrow the confidence of a celebrity who you admire and think is beautiful, even though she may have a bit more weight. I tried that with my eyes. Imagined my eyes as hot and sultry looking as a certain actress you wouldn't know, no longer alive. And everytime I left home or just before entering a room or a building, I imagined myself as having those head turning looks like she would have had. It worked. In fact, I'd forget I'd done so until both men and women approached me, total strangers and told me what beautiful stunning eyes I had. I had no makeup on. It just happened. What changed? Certainly not my eyes. It was my borrowed confidence. It is an invisible thing that people unknowingly pick up on and are compelled to react to. they don't even know way, they just do and react.
During the time you are following a Dr. orders for losing weight, you can use this too. Don't have to wait until you reach your target weight. Once you start getting input from people, well, cant say all your peers will say anything but its important too if any adults share something, you at some point will realize that you are feeling confident, your own confidence and you have forgotten to use the one you were mentally borrowing.
Let me share one more story of two women, but obese who were at a nudist place i went one summer. No clothing to hide ones insecurties. I don't know why they had these problems whether medical issues, personal choices or something of both. But it was obvious to me the effect of confidence in one and lack of confidence in the other affected me. I got to sit in a circle listening to the one tell a story. SHe had a bubbly personality, didn't come off as having any concern about her looks, and even I , as a straight female, found that I saw her as looking beautiful, almost angelic in a way, while the other woman came across as obese. I did not want to think any differently about either of them but the aura of confidence brings a certain amount of beauty and attractiveness to a person despite their body size. I have gained some weight as I am now older but still not dangerously so for my health and I still have a good image of myself even though I can't fit in some of my clothes from last summer even.
However, most important is that you have a healthy weight for health issues. I have a family member thru marriage, a very overweight gal who is a mom with kids, age 30 and needing heart meds, blood pressure meds and diabetes meds due to her weight. She's short, and somewhat big boned so she can never be my size but still has an unhealthy weight. You dont want to end up on meds for life in the long run if it can be avoided. So aain, I think it best to go see a doctor.
Hello,
So I am 15 (going to be 16 in two months) and I am in a youth symphony for San Diego as a third French Horn player. We had our first practice on Friday and I met some new people at the symphony. Two of them were two male french horn players. The guy I sit next to is Cameron. He's really cute and tall. We talked during the whole break (about 15 minutes) and laughed a lot and talked about our history with music. I kind of like him already. I don't know what to do. I've never been good at flirting! He was chatty with me but seems a little shy/awkward.
I would like to get to know him better. But I don't want to come off as a young girl (he's not much older than me.) How can I flirt (in an appropriate way) and see if he might like me?
Thank you!
Body language is everything here for clues. There is something we subconsciously do and are unaware when attracted to a person and again if we feel repelled by them.
Everyone has what is called ones personal space, an invisible bubble of area surrounding them that they either allow or don't allow a person to remain in, depending if they like them or not. If a guy you didn't like approached to stand within an arms length away so he could easily touch your shoulder, that would be too close to feel comfortable and you will step backward, away, re-creating that space barrier around you. If you approach the guy to stand real close as you talk and he doesn't step away, then he likes you, even though he may not totally realize it yet. The same goes for when sitting. If he leans towards you, he is interested or likes you. You do the same with a girlfriend, leaning across the table to be closer as you share an interestig story in conversation cus she's a close friend and you like her. People will also copy each other if they like you on a subconscious level. Mimicking the others behavior somewhat. So if you move a hand up to tuck hair behind your ear, he might move a hand quickly after to scratch at his hair or face or readjust glasses. If you move your arms to cross them, he will move his legs too. Dont expect exact same position although it can occur. This shows he is comfortable with you and means its a green light to go ahead with touches and other flirts that show him in a more obvious way that you are comfortable with him. Like a playful punch on the arm if he tried teasing or being funny. Or a pat on the shoulder during conversation. A good one is making an excuse to pick an eyelash real or imaginary off his cheek or a piece of lint off his shoulder, etc. Encouraging words are helpful too. You may not know much yet about him, but may appreciate his smile, his laugh, friendliness, good at conversation and maybe if you are wearing your choice of clothes during practice, he's a sharp dresser. Pay him an honest compliment. Make it personal as in, I really like the fact that you have a good sense of humor and laugh easily, it makes it fun to be around you. Its a compliment as well as telling him you like it and its important for him to know, Because....we tend to want to surround ourselves with only the people who like us and if we find another who seems to like us, we want to spend more time with them to see about adding them to our circle of friends...normal human behavior.
Always remember, he's not a mind reader so If you like something he said or mentioned, tell him. Like if he revealed he seems to have a skill of all dogs liking him, even the ones people say are usually mean act tame around him...make a comment. Perhaps "I've heard that animals are a good judge of character of a person, just like little kids, instantly like a person or not. If dogs become tame around you, its more than just liking you, they trust you. I think its a good sign that I could trust you with anything too. I already like you as a person. We'll have to see how that goes, right? This is also steering the conversation to where you want it to go. It takes practice. He most likely is going to respond in a positive way too, as its practically an invitation to spend more time talking at least if not meeting away from practice. But he may be shy and after several attempts he still doesnt ask for your number, then you ask for his.
Now, if you get stuck and can't think of a way to lead the conversation in the moment, then overnight or the next day a good idea comes to you, then next time you see him, refer to what he said, remember the day before yesterday when you said......, well I was thinking about that and wondering if.........then use whatever plan came up in your head. I too have had moments even as an adult when back in the dating scene after a divorce of going blank and not thinking of a good comeback until hours later. It still works if you bring up it as soon as you can.
Hope this helps you dear.
my friend is a communicator with spirits too. she cant communicate with this spirit, because she believes this spirit will only talk to me (she's beginning to talk to me now a bit and this spirit said she's 16, not 19 or 20). but she gets the feeling that this spirit had committed suicide. and I read that spirits who have committed suicide don't believe they have the right to go to heaven and be reincarnated. they just decide to linger on earth. I don't know if that's true, but ive read that. do you think that's whats happened? like i want her to be reincarnated and have another life that is successful, but ill miss her so much. shes just gave me such an amazing and comfortable feeling ever since shes been here...
Not all but many who commit suicide or have broken the law or killed or done anything that the bible considers a sin, will consider their self unable to enter heaven. That alone is enough to not want to leave earth, but some are afraid that their alternative is Hell, so they choose to remain on earth. It is beliefs like this that most often hold a person back. You will have to let her know that there is a heaven but God did not create a Hell. He has no need for a hell if He is willing to give a person as many lifetimes as they need to learn to become a part of his family. This is like the child who doesnt pass a certain grade level and needs to repeat it until they get it and can move on. There are basics a soul needs to learn as well. Most of us live countless lifetimes and that is what a loving God does as a parent, gives his kids as much time as they need. He has no time schedule and they dont have to get it right in one lifetime as the popular Christian belief. If your own parents wouldn't condemn you to a life of pain and suffering as punishment because you made a big mistake once, why would their Creator who is ultimately even better than earthly parents, condemn a soul to Hell. Let her know she can call for angels or a dead grandma or even Jesus to come escort her to heaven. All she has to do is think it or speak it and want to believe it and it shall be. If that doesnt work, you may need to find a professional who does it for a living and have them help her cross over.
I'm 24 and recently started dating this guy whose 28. We met playing a sport we both love and there was and instant attraction on both ends. We've gone on about 6 dates now and there is definitely sparks, we get along great, and we can talk for hours. He asked me to make things a little more serious and be his girlfriend and I agreed because I felt like it was really worth a shot. The date after he asked me to be his gf we watched a movie at his place and he asked me if I'd be mad if I knew his ex used to live with him. I lived with my ex so this question didn't even make me flinch. He then quickly told me his ex's mail still gets delivered there and there's a huge stack of her mail that he says he doesnt feel like giving to her. I thought it was just a really bad breakup and neither of them wanted to see each other so I didn't push. The next date we got a little physical and he called me by his exs name. He quickly apologized and said he's just been saying that name for three years and it just slipped out. He sounded guilty and asked if he should leave but I told him mistakes happen and we just ended up going to sleep after that. Just today we had a great date but something was nagging me so I looked up his Facebook and found myself on his ex's page. During their breakup not only was/is he keeping her mail but apparently he gave away her cats. This just made me worry. I know there are two sides to every story, I'm just afraid to ask. I really do like this guy but before I get too serious I would like to know what exactly is going on, and who I'm getting serious with. Should I ask him about his ex? If not what questions should I be asking?
Hon, lets put it this way...
If you had mail being delivered to a place you used to live, wouldn't you to a change of address with the post office? Thats what most people would do. And IF, before the post office started redelivering to your new address, won't you go show up at your old address, especially if you knew the person, to pick up your mail, or send a friend, sister, to go get it? Of course!
For this ex's mail to still get delivered there is rather odd. And for him to hold on to it rather than handing it back to the postman or better yet, calling the post office and telling them to no longer deliver it as she has moved is what he should have done. Both of them are simply not using their heads.
So theres some questions you can ask based on that scenerio.
As for calling someone by an ex's name. That is quite common and means nothing. Both my second husband and I have called each other by our ex spouses name. Not intentionally but it has happened oh I dont know about a dozen times, maybe more in our 6 yrs together. You see, when we aren't totally focused, or sometimes in an altered state during love making, our subconscious mind takes over some functions for us and tries to help...but usually messes up. Its the same like when I am trying to get one daughters attention and call her by the names of all other children first before getting to hers. It doesnt mean I don't know who my own daughter is. All parents do this, all lovers do this too.
ive already asked it its name and age and its answered it. I just need help with a lot of questions for this spirit!!! THANK YOU!
Just a warning, if you become too close and form a friendship with that spirit, you and they may combine together inside you and become a totally different person so it is no longer just you making decisions for your life but this spirit battling to have its own say and wishes.
If you still want to converse with a spirit, talk to it as you would any friend. What do you say to friends?
However I highly advise not to.
My sister is so annoying, she is always mad and yelling because she's fat,don't worry Ik that she is not on her P,and I truly hate her, she's also so mean, WE Never talk like normal sisters and I really like that because she will probably yell at any moment so what should I do, btw I'm 14 and I'm thinking of killing her. FOR REAL, so should j let her do whatever she wants and just hate her for the rest of my life just like how she hates me and pretty everyone at the family, I'm not kidding, I'm thinking of killing her cuz that's what she wants.thanks
I am not ignoring how you feel about your sister. Hear my out as this should explain it all.
I don't know how close to your age she is, but my guess is that its very likely the both of you are having issues with your hormones. Once puberty hits, the female pre teen or teen body is flooded with an overload of hormones. These hormones will make a girl do several things, mainly all effecting emotions and personality. And NO...it is not related to being on ones period. These hormones affect a girl 24/7 regardless of being on a period. The hormones will go back to normal levels once in late teens or out of teens.
Your mom went thru this, I did, all my 3 daughters did, there isn't a single female who can escape this, it happens to all. However few people talk about it or tell you to expect it. It is quite normal though for a girls personality to totally change during this time, she can become overly sad or worse, depressed. And often young girls with this symptom are either crying all the time, cutting themselves or contemplating suicide.
The other symptom is extreme anger and rage, no patience, being very easily annoyed etc. And I would have to say from raising 3 daughters that this is the more common symptom. Whats worse is who such a female lets her anger and yelling and fighting out on, usually the people closest to her, a mother or a sister but it can be even ones best friend. Also it doesnt have to make sense, the anger can be directed to someone who did absolutely nothing to deserve it.
This is my guess because you used all the key words, 'annoying, mad, yelling, hate, mean. I won't say that you are the one having emotional overload, or that it is her or whether it is both you. But this is something you need to bring up to Mom. Remind her of whats going on and how it makes you feel. Its been a long time since she experienced the same thing but I guarantee she'll remember, and so she knows what it is like. My girls were fighting hitting, kicking yelling and screaming at each other, thankfully not all 3 at a time but first the two oldest, and later the two youngest. They were all spaced out 3 yrs apart so this unhappy stage was around for quite a while in my family. There is one thing that might help. When a girl feels so desperate as you do, there is a possibility that the hormones are a higher level than should normally be and this is what causes the rage, wanting to kill someone or wanting to commit suicide. This can be taken care of by a Dr. They check your hormone levels and if extremely higher than normal, can prescribe a medication just for during your teen years to help you come back to more normal emotions and start to feel better. Right now I know you cant believe its possible that something other than your sister is causing these problems but it is quite possible.
So talk to Mom. Tell her how extreme it is. If she doesnt take you seriously, show her my answer to you, that this in todays age is a very SERIOUS issue. Girls have picked up synthetic female hormones just from growing up in a very polluted world and although harmless in itself, once combined with the extra hormones of puberty, can cause a teen to do drastic terrible things. She needs to take this seriously, have a good talk with both of you and get both of you in to see the Dr and get checked out.
I am not saying you are crazy or anything like that. And this is not your fault for feeling like this, you didn't decide to become so angry or sister the same, this is beyond your ability to control and just promise to behave if indeed the hormone levels are too high. So have mom read this too. And hopefully all will be well at home soon again.
Thanks for answering my question today. I just wanted clarification on one thing if possible.
Do you mean that if I pursue this, I might NEVER be able to get dreams back even if I stop the practice? Or just while I am continuing to do it?
The answer is relative to your age. If you are younger, and you stop the practice of dreaming and remembering dreams for too long, it may be very hard to get it to start up again. It may not be a problem either, it can vary depending on the person and there's no way to know until you try and it doesnt work. For an older person who has had a life of periods of time where they dream and others times when they have no recall, doing this on purpose is most likely to not have lasting effects.
Again, hon. I wrote only what my friend said on the phone to me. I don't know this stuff personally. But they claim to be able to do this successfully themselves.
Hi for whoever answers this! Ok, so I looked all over the Internet and couldn't find an answer so i was hoping maybe one of you would know the answer. Ok, so I heard for women if they eat less than 1200 calories their body could go into starvation mode. I eat about half those calories, but I still eat plenty. I just eat things that are low in calories and don't overeat. If I start taking in more calories or even eat sugar, then I'll feel like I can't stop. Plus for me, these diets are addicting and I'm perfectly fine with that. I also work off about 130 calories at least each day so it's like my net is around 500 calories. If I eat more, I'll stretch my stomach out, and if I eat things in higher calories, then I'll get back to eating fatty foods, and I feel healthy foods will, well, keep me healthier. I have felt so much better since starting this diet, but I heard that these diets can burn out your metabolism. Will this happen if your still eating enough and have high metabolism foods (egg whites, coffee, green tea, grilled chicken, etc)? To be honest, I'm a little too worried to stop this diet because I always go on and off with this diet and every time I "take a break" from it, I can never seem to stop eat fatty foods and I get to where I don't want to exercise as much. So after hearing all of this, is this diet still ok for me since I eat enough and eat high metabolism foods? It's probably not gonna change the way I eat, I just really need to know. Thank you so much for your time!
Its a known fact that a body forced into starvation mode as you are doing, once it does get some quality foods will begin to put on weight faster, often in the form of fat as a way to have a buffer to live off of once you decide to push it through starvation mode again.
So this would explains the cravings that begin whenever you take in sugar or fatty foods, you have trained your body to react this way, wanting to build up a layer of fat for the lean times it anticipates. This is not a good place to be. At this point, you need the help of a dietician to help undo the mode you have unwittingly placed your body into. While in this mode, much of what you eat is not necessarily going to go into supporting your organs, bones and other parts of your bodies overall health, but go straight into creating a layer of fat. This is not healthy. You risk creating major medical issues in the future after too many years of doing this, a slow, imperceptible chipping away at the total healthof certain parts of your body that you wont notice on a daily or monthly basis but that adds up over the years to create major medical problems you maynot have had otherwise. See a dietician, get retrained on how to eat healthy for your age, height, skeletal bone size, amount of excercise you do, etc....
I like this boy. Idk if he likes me too..he stares at me 24/7 and his freinds are weird around me....what do you think??
I agree with rainhorse for same reasons, yes he likes you, at least as much as he has been able to see from observing you. So your next question will be what to do if its a given that he likes you? It depends on your age and any dating limits the parents have set for you. If they never set any, talk to them and find out. If the age they give is several years off, you tell them you have a guy at school who is a friend (even if not yet established) and ask if its okay to have him come over and visit you at home like your girlfriends do. YOu will abide by any rules they set if its okay with them. You might agree with them you understand being too young to do formal dating but you do want to learn how to understand boys better and how to be a good friend with them first so that you are better prepaared for when you are older and can date.
This type of reasonin, if you truly agree with me, shows a level of maturity and willingness to cooperate with them, and not lock them out, allowing them to be able to counsel you in how to understand guys better. Both Mom and Dad are good founts of info . on this. I remember even going to Dad cus he's a guy and telling him what a guy said or did and asking him what it meant when a guy did that. It is your parents job to parent you including through this period of life when you're growing up to interest in guys and eventually dating. Allow them to be a part of it, and you'll find they should have no problem allowing you to have a male school friend over to visit. If you have their approval to do so, with any guy, the next step is to approach a guy and ask him if he'd like to hang out with you sometime. If he says yes. Then let him know its okay with the parents if he comes over to your house but only when they are there, is he okay with that. If you find a guy who is not afraid of meeting your family and being watched by your parents, you have found a very nice self confident guy. Many will be too chicken. But this is a good way to start.
I really like a boy but i dont know if i should ask him out because my parents said no dating till im 16 but im 12!!
Briellen is right, the best thing is to become friends first. I just answered another question posted by a 12 yr old girl so this may be you again. If so, I can see how important it is to you, this desire to experience having a guy like you.
Please realize at 12 also, this boy, will have no idea if he loves you. Love or puppy love at this stage is not the kind of love that will sustain a long term relationship in the future like life long, marriage license or not.
He might know if he has an interest in you, as in liking you, just as you have girlfriends who like you. As I explained in the other question,
at your age, the romance part of a relationship can wait for until you are older, had a chance to mature more and have learned how to become a close friend first with a guy. You know your girlfriends moods, right. Can recognize if somethings bothering one? Well, guys can be a bit different, hiding their emotions, or they tackle issues differently and so their reasoning and actions they take are so foreign to you, you need to first learn all the inner workings of a guys mind in order to learn how to become a good friend and get along with as little misunderstandings as possible. The romance and kissing part will only distract and that realm is hard enough for some adults to handle well dear, because for the same reason I am telling you what to do, they never learned how to befriend and get to really know and understand the person first, just skipped over that and went straight to dating and sex. You may not even have sex in mind quite yet but just want the cuddling, hand holding and kissing. That already is too much a distraction to learning how to understand a guy and becoming his friend.
So do not tell the parents that you have a boyfriend. the two words boy and friend put together in such a way mean a totally different thing and they are going to say no because boyfriend equates to 'dating partner'. And yes, as a parent myself, it is too young to date, but not too young to start learning how to be a good friend with a guy you like and who likes you. So you ask the parents to allow you to have a friend come over to visit, then mention the friend is a guy and give the name. You let them know you understand they say you cant date until 15-16, but until then, you want to learn how to understand boys (other than brothers if you have any) better cus you know they are hard to understand sometimes. Have a good adult conversation about this and for any no you get, ask they to explain why. If they reasoning is due to not having enough information, then explain better the context under which you'd like to have him over as a friend, like only when they are there to watch over you, etc... you get the picture I hope. So clear this with the parents first. You will likely during your teen years come up with several different guys you like. If they are okay with you inviting a friend who is male, over, then ask the guy if he'd like to 'hang out with you as a friend' instead of asking him out on a date. A date to adults means two people going out together alone without parents or friends along, to dinner, dancing, a movie, a picnic and usually involves driving themselves over to these date spots. Just being seen together alot at school does not constitute dating. You are seen alot with your girlfriends too and you aren't dating all of them, right? I hope the point is made, right now friendship should be what you seek with him, more than just being passsing friendly with each other at school but actually spending time together away from school and the safest place to do it is at Home where Mom can observe and give you pointers when you have trouble understanding your male friend.
Good luck dear.
My mom woulnt let me have a boyfriend...what should i do because im 12 but my friends are not dateing but i really want to!!
While it may be young to start dating according to most adults, you feel it unfair due to your growing interest in boys.
The interest is natural but actual 'dating' is not the best process for learning more about guys at your age. With 'actual dating' comes the pressure of romance and though you might get feelings for a guy, its better to get down the friendship angle fully and know how to understand and converse and just enjoy the presence of a guy as a friend first.
You need to learn the different ways another person views a situation, let alone how guys reason and comprehend situations differently than girls, etc.
So the next question is, do the parents let you have girlfriends come over to the house to visit you? If yes, then it should be no different issue to allow a friend who is a boy, a male come to hang out with you at home. They like all parents, including myself, want to assure you don't get into the romance and sex part of a relationship too early. Even in our later teens we are poorly equipped. But you will have a jump start if you start to learn the difference in a guys mind from yours now and how to form a friendship because both friendship and the romance are needed to have successful relationships, and will come in handly later on.
So here's what I did for my girls, i had 3. Told them that friendship with a boy was important, that dating could wait. But to help with the friendship part, it was okay for them to have guy friends come to the house to hang with them, as long as a parent was home. two reasons: to supervise and make sure they stuck with just the friendship part for now and another to see how he treated her when he didnt know we were watching. Mental and physical abuse among teens is very high and often for girls comes from the guy she is dating. We wanted to be able to get to know him and his character to know she's be safe with him, no different really than any girlfriend who might be going the wrong way, into drugs, stealing, drinking, and could be a possible influence on our daughters.
So you need to forget using the term boyfriend with the parents because that automatically will make their minds switch over to their 'romance' version of a 'boyfriend' and shut you down.
He is at friend status just as your female friends and just happens to be a male.
If you explain to Mom that when you said boyfriend, you just want to learn the right way to have a guy as a friend and there is a guy whom you'd like to be friends with, perhaps you will have a chance. As long as you don't have ulterior motives, Mom really should feel comfortable with this. If I were you, I would also flatter her because in truth, as your mom, she should be the one to go to whenever you come across misunderstandings and communication problems with a guy, since she's had more time and experience than you and can be helpful. Let her know that you want her help to guide you as you learn how to be friends with a guy and learn how to understand them and this way, you'll be better prepared when the time comes they allow you to date and she'll also have a good feeling for the character of the boy you like and have as a close friend. He can't keep up a pretend nice self for more than a couple months so if over a couple years time, she see's who the real guy is and likes him too as your friend and approves, its more likely that you will be able to date freely without the parents setting too many rules with him. Now if its a new guy, even later on, I would suggest allowing them to get to know this new guy same way so they feel confident about him with you. I will say that there are few boys at your age who will have the guts to even come visit at your house knowing your parents are observing him.
My girls had an extremely hard time finding any guy willing to come over, One almost did once and chickened out at last minute.
So, if you agree with me, that this is really all you want right now in a male friend and are willing to go with the program, then present it to mom and see what she says. If you get an initial no, the next time the family is planning an event like going as a family to the beach one Saturday, having a back yard bar b cue and having their friends over, ask if you can invite a girl and guy over too. These are some of friends you hang out with at school. Having the girl there too diffuses away from Moms concern that this is only a boyfriend thing and should break the barrier of her feeling uncomfortable with it.
good luck dear! If you get any more questions about this situation as they occur, just write to me from my column and I'll be glad to help.
When I try to find out any information on this subject, the only stuff that comes up is about increasing your recall ability. I am hoping there might be a way to do the opposite.
What I am going to tell you may also turn off your ability to witmess the dream so if thats not what you want, write me back. But heres how:
Step 1 Take 4 or 6 of your own breathes, consciously trying to control your own breathing rather than your body automatically doing so.
(This is to get your subconscious's attention.
Step 2. Try to witness yourself witnessing cognition. (This is to disturb the subconscious.
Step 3. As you do step 1 and 2, give yourself the command to stop remembering your dreams. Do all this right before you go to bed.
The danger is, you may stop dreaming at all. Its not about how you process the dreaming or lack of it or lack of memory but how you process your attention ability, such as lucid dreaming. This is a gift many have tried to hone over history and were unable to do. This may hint at more of a gift and ability in you that you may not want to risk losing if successful in turning it off. There is no guarantee you can then later turn it back on. (I had to consult a friend on this with knowledge of the subject so I don't personally know but do know you do have to deal with the subconscious which is what is in control while you are asleep.)
im 13 and I masturbate all the time especially with brushs and I go really fast and deep and I think the cum sorta smelled like blood the other day so I was wondering if that could pop my cherry
Its possible you stretch is some when you masturbate like that. However any friction without enough lubrication can irritate or even tear the fine lining of the vaginal walls at any time in life, even when married years and due to passion you didn't want to stop to use more lube.
Here's a very informative video on cherry popping by a gal who teaches teens and older about this sort of stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA
I had a little hamster named Cleo. I didn't clean her cage for a whole week and more, and she hasn't come out for a few days, so I open her cage to check on her. At first I couldn't find her so I started moving her bedding around. She was laying under the bedding not breathing. I even had someone else check to make sure she was dead. She is about a year and half. I feel really guilty. Can someone please help me!?
P.s, Please excuse my grammar I am writing this at 5:00 am and I'm really tired.
If by little you meant dwarf hamster, then Cleo lived to her normal ripe old age. According to what I have found on line, how long a hamster lives depends on the exact type you had.
Dwarf types like the Campbells and Winter Whites live an average of 1.5 to 2 years.
other dwarfs:
Chinese hamsters have an average lifespan of 2.5 to 3 years
Roborovski hamster lives up to 3.5 years.
the first one mentioned is the most common one to be found as pets and so, my guess is it was not due to having a messy cage but it may have been close to end of its natural life.
Or being older and more frail, perhaps the environment did make Cleo die a bit sooner but probably not by much.
I and my siblings all had hamsters as kids and I can share that they did not live very long, even with clean cages and good care.
hi im 14.female.georgia usa. i know two young to have so many issues but i do. i ask for no judgement but i will have alot of questions asking to be answered. all on different things this first on is one of the big issues i have tried to solve on my own its just not going well so i ask for your help.
first i had a huge crush on my best friend who i have known all my life for six years. then last summer i told him. he rejected me i was so upset my other friend his niece who is three years younger then us was no help she told me to suck it up and get over myself.. but i tried. then two months later he says he likes me over facebook i was shocked up thrilled so we talked about it then over time he even said he loved me i was star struck. if it wasnt for the fact that he could go from sweet and happy to a total jerk in 5 seconds flat. and god help me i tried to tell myself it was just school and everything being hard on him. we dated for one week ..i even spent the night at his house with his cousin that week.. he didnt so much as talk to me the entire week it was so upseting then 5 minutes after his dad dropped me off at home he sent me a message saying hey i want to break up i hope this doesnt mess with our friend ship..i was like...yeah alright..i was so hurt i mean i would have hurt eather way but he could have at least said it before i came home you know face to face..and then he became worse of a jerk i have abandoment issues like severe ones and he is so close to me i dont want to loose him. he used it as a weapon for the longest time when he gets pissed he threatens to end our friendship i dont know how much i have cried over him. but i dont love him like that i see him as a brother now. thing is this is where guy number two comes in i ment this guy online we were friends for 4 months then he confessed to me without ever seeing my face or hearing my voice. he liked my personality. i dont post my picture or anything online so the first time we skyped was the first time ever he saw my face and me his. we dated 6 months no issues but guy number one started taking intrest in me again as more then a friend..i had to juggle loving my boyfriend and keeping my friend all at once..now a problem comes 3 months ago my exclusive boyfriend doesnt want to be exclusive so he dates other girls i was fine with that because he promised when summer started it would be back to the same old exculsive dating. i hurt everytime i saw his status change to in a relationship with someone else i cried more for him then did i ever did for guy number one. then..4 days ago..my love ..told me his school is out but he decided he doesnt like being in a relationship with anyone. and i had noticed that when he was not with someone he seemed happiest. so i understand why.but it hurts so much we agreed to break up and hes single now so am i..i hurt so much..but now guy number three he has a thing for me for a while i kept saying no to him because i was hoping id get back with guy number two. but now im single and guy number three told me he loves me...and we have been talking and i feel like i care for him but i still love guy number two sooo much and guy number one my first love and my best friend..is being himself..and all and im just..i feel torn into a million pieces..i hurt and i want to just curl in a ball and morn my lost love..but i care for number three but i dont want to get involved until i have gotton over two ..but i dont think i ever will. another thing. guy 1 lives not far from here. guy two lives in michigain. guy three lives in florida
Internet dating is fine for getting used to having conversation with boys but in the long term, there are too many parts of actual in person relationships missing and you will never learn how to have a real relationship if you rely solely on these. It is worst if the LDR isn't in the same city let alone same state. It lessens the chance once old enough to be on your own to ever marry and have kids with someone you've only known on line, never met in person or only once, and neither is willing to leave their hometown and friends and family and a good job.
So, first off, that strikes two off the list as true dating possibilities.
That leaves the friend who is on again off again and seems to be unstable with his feelings and Very confused. Well, that is a given at this age. There is a lack of experience and no clue whatever in how to understand the opposite sex let alone understand oneself fully at this age and so this is a recipe for lots of confusion and hurt and rough times. It is so for most everyone.
So what do you do? Evaluate each individual guy with a set of criteria which you create and will change over time as you experience certain things. You probably have a good clue what you don;t like already from watching the issues and problems or your parents or girlfriends parents as couples. You will add to it as you experience the things you don;t like either. You'll also have a list of the things you are liking in a guy that you date. Whats important to you now may change in 5 years time and so will your list but it is a good thing to refer to when you are confused as to who to choose for a boyfriend. I did this after a divorce when I entered the dating arena again after experiencing all the worst possible things that could go wrong in relationships. Learn to recognize the early signs of what that looks like and back away from any guys who exhibit that behavior you don't like. It isn't worth putting up with all the bad stuff just because he's handsome and the only guy interested in you right now. Never settle for less. Decide what you want, look for guys who seem to have some of those qualities and go after them if they are single or when they became single again. At this age, relationships tend to not last very long according to studies done on teens of each different age. So consider it a good thing that you and some guy was even willing to try. Until you try and fail, you wont have a clue how to adjust to have a better chance next time. If a dating relationship lasts 6 mos to a year at this year before breaking up, that is actually quite successful an accomplishment as most dont last but weeks or a month or two at most.
Whatever you do, do not date a guy to feel complete. That never works because of basic human psychology reasons. You need to be and believe you are a complete individual and find another who also is complete and self confident also before a relationship has a chance of going anywhere for any length of time. At this age, too many have a low self image, social anxietys and low self confidence for dating to work. In time, you and your peers will hopefully most grow out of this awkward stage and have more success with future dating. Keep this all in mind as you think about dating. So your guy 'best friend' is confused which is normal for this age. What helps often is some good heart to heart talks when there are no distractions and done face to face...no texting and finding out what each others concerns are, what each of you is comfortable with and what you aren't. Maybe he gets teased by friends about liking you and can't handle it and that could be a reason for backing off again. He has never explained what his thoughts were that led up to his call to break up and why he couldn't do it to your face. I will say guys hate to see tears from a girl and its worse if they caused it, so they'd rather avoid face to face and try to pretend to themselves it didn't hurt you. He needs to know that no matter how he does it, it hurts all the same and it hurts worse if he cant give a good explanation as to why he changed his mind. Obviously he has some issues, worries and concerns which may include you but may not involve you at all. Good communication dear, is one of the important keys to having a good relationship. If you find a guy who will not cooperate but being willing to do this step with you, no matter how quiet and shy a personality he may be, then there is no hope for an easy relationship if any relationship at all with him. So try and have that talk. this means you both need to trust each other enough to share your thoughts, your feelings and fears in depth which is something that two people who are best friends for years should already have, that kind of trust. If neither of you can trust each other that way, that is another crucial key needed in a relationship that is lacking and its not going to go anywhere without it. You will learn in time of other crucial things needed to make a relationship work. If they are missing, you won't want to waste any more time on a guy who has problems with those areas.
good luck with the friend.
ive been seeing this spirit, and I started asking her questions today. she wouldn't answer any of them, but when I looked at the question "what's your favorite song?" I then heard with my inner ear a kinda old country song. I thought my parents tv was just on, but when I got to the door, the singing and music stopped. no tv or radio is on whatsoever. what does this mean?
Then you got your answer. For whatever reason, you weren't told the title to the song, just given a piece of it playing.
Ive seen her like almost 10 times in the past three days. she looks the same, wears the same dress. I see her so vividly that its not funny. she looks like shes about 19 or 20. she seems very, very playful and like a very sweet spirit. she makes me feel really happy and positive. when I feel a presence, I know its her. its like she has her own special feeling in presence. I feel like she follows me everywhere. I try to say hi to her, but before I can, she disappears. how can I talk to her? and what questions should I ask her? PLEASE HELP.
I have a daughter who saw things like this on occasion. She admitted to seeing someone sitting on the office chair at the desk in her bedroom and always from peripheral vision, once she really turned to look the person was not there. She always appeared in the same place.
Incidently, I went into my daughters room even though the girl she saw wasnt there at the time but spoke my message to her, "If you have no purpose to being in my daughters life such a being a guardian angel or a spirit guide, then I demand that you leave. If you do have a purpose then either give me your answer, or give it to my guides or angels to tell me and you shall be allowed to stay if it is a valid reason. That spirit disappeared and my daughter never saw her again.
Next time you sense the lady, don't change your gaze to look directly at her, most likely she'll disappear, just close your eyes to concentrate better and in your head, without asking out loud, cus its awkward when others hear you talking to someone they cant see, just say: Hello, I saw you, I also can feel your presence without seeing you. Who are you? I really want to know why I feel you are always close by. What is your reason for hanging out near me? (If you hear no immediate answer, then:) I am new at this, not good yet, so you may have to try harder to get through to me. Not cus I'm not willing or don't believe you're real, just haven't quite developed this ability to see and hear spirits perfectly. If you have no good purpose to be hanging around, then I must ask that you stop because it is bad manners to just hang out with someone if you've no purpose being there and especially if not invited."
I am adding on to the end here after I took a break and felt compelled to meditate on your situation. I was feeling strongly that she might be a young person whose life was cut off early and she wants to continue to experience life growing up on earth, every step of the way, rather than return to heaven and be sent back to have her own life to live and experience these things.
I was then told to look up the root meaning of spec or spect and all words connected to it. Heres that link I found.
http://www.english-for-students.com/spectro.html
As you will see, specter is on it, A disembodied spirit; a ghost
But there's also spectator, One who looks on; an observer.
And that's when it became clear to me...she wants to remain with you through life, experiencing what it is like to graduate college, meet and marry a guy and have kids, raise them, become a grandmother...everything all by being a spectator.
I feel strongly she is not your angel or spirit guide, and as such, really has no business or purpose being in your life. She could have this all herself if she would only accept that she has died and go to heaven. Likely she didn't as a person believe in reincarnation either and doesn't realize that she can regroup in heaven and have help in choosing the next life she goes into so she CAN live her own life in full again.
For some reason, she's been looking for a young teen she can do that with and has chosen you, perhaps you remind her most closely of her own personality when she was alive. This is not harmful to you but it holds her back from moving on and once you die of old age she may still feel cheated of life and want to repeat the same with the next person. It isn't good for her. There is however a possibility that in wanting to experience EVERYTHING, she will not give you privacy and try to be present for everything, and that could include when you are having sex with someone. This is a risk that at some point in wishing so hard it was her experiencing these things instead of you that she becomes jealous and I can not say what she will do to disrupt things for you. As it serves no purpose for you or her, it may be best for you to ask her to leave and let her know she can have another life right away if she goes to heaven and then gets sent back to a new different life of her own rather than being a spectator in yours.
She can call on an angel, or Jesus, or a grandma whose passed on to come escort her there. You can be sure she has souls of loved one on the other side waiting for her to come with them. If you'd rather do nothing and enjoy her presence, its up to you. Likely you feel so good around her because she is so much like you and that feels familiar to you. However I believe she is not related to you at all in previous lives, just happened to chose you.
I am 13. I have a crush on a boy in my singing group. He is like a brother to me. I have a huge crush on him. he is 17. I understand that I am too young to be with him, but now that he knows I like him it is hard for me to talk to him. I just want it to be easy to hang out again! how do I make it easier for me to talk to him?
You're not going to like what I have to tell you cus the answer is actually quite scary and feels embarassing and awkward, all the stuff you want to avoid. But trust me, I've been there and I know this works.
theres a say adults kick around, "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself."
What that translates to for you is this: Fear is nothing more than something like a bully, like a puffer fish. Ever see one of those, normally quite small but they puff themselves up to look many times their size and look very intimidating.
I was also naturally very shy/social anxiety at your age and that didn't help. But the one and only thing that helped me was to face me fears.
How this can help you in your situation is to be honest with a person. trust me again with this. If you can learn it now, you will learn to use it your entire life, even as an adult because there may be other things you face, that dont even include a cute guy or boyfriend where you are scared. Maybe scared is too strong a word, but whatever it is your feeling, its holding you back from being able to talk to him without feeling awkward.
So after all that said, next time you see him, start out your conversation by 'gasp', professing to him how awkward you now feel now that he's heard that you like him. Admit that for some reason you are finding it harder to talk to him now. Inside right now you are screaming that
'I cant do that, how embarrassing.' I know, i felt the same way and internally argued with myself. But once I became determined to stop feeling so awkward and actually tried telling what I thought was so embarrassing, I found two things happened, the fear automatically vanishes the moment you face it for the bully it is. And what you thought would make you feel vulnerable is actually found to be quiet the opposite effect on the receiver of this news. He most likely will treasure the fact that you felt comfortable enough to tell him this, (Hah, if he only knew...) and say things to reassure you right then, maybe say he's felt that way about certain situations himself, and maybe even share such a story with you. Facing the fear in such a way, totally diffuses it's power over you. And it won't come back, at least not in that situation but maybe others in life. Always remember how fear dissappears once you make yourself vulnerable and admit it cus in reality most people are exactly the same way and have those very same fears.
For example, being terrified of doing oral reports in school, I wish someone had told me back then what to do, how to face my fears. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have said, "gee, this is scary having so many eyes staring at me. I feel nervous and shaky and I might mess up. So if anyone can't understand something I say, just raise your hand and let me know and I'll repeat it, unless of course what I share is so boring to you that you couldn't care less what I am saying." A little humor at the end, which actually might be true for a few but not all, will make them laugh and the person doing the oral report finds that fear has now left them with that introduction and they can proceed speaking without feeling nervous. Why ever fee nervous again if you don't have to?
Please try it and let my know how it works dear. If it doesn't, write me too, let me know as best u can what you said and he replied so I can help you figure out what went wrong as this doesnt work for just me but everyone who does it right.
Good luck!!
People shouldn't get abused .
its not right ... this world is so cruel .
I've been sexually abused all of my life . The thing that kinda kills me the most is that it was my own Father . man I swear I talk way to much . I have such a big mouth for the wrong reason ... I know I need to tell someone .
but im to scared I wish someone could do it for me ... but I know I have to .
and you cant help someone who wont help themselves... man sometimes I feel like just ending it all already and just commit suicide .
I cut myself do everything and cry but I just cant keep myself together . I hate my self my body . it's all my fault .
- just a stupid 14 year old girl who let people touch her because she was to scared to ever say anything .
Hon, you are not stupid for letting people touch you and not saying anything. Most children and teens are naturally all the way same as far as how their minds and reasoning works. And the adults who prey on children know that!
There are some sexually twisted people who are drawn to, or prefer young children sexually and are child molesters, and others who get the same thing from raping adult women of any age.
In each case it is without consent of the female. And that is wrong. Sex can be wonderful if two people are in love and the female wants her guy to make love with her, not use her for sex in lust against her will. This is wrong and must be stopped.
Even if the men involved are not natural child molesters and you are the only one they've done this with and otherwise they have relations sexually with adult women, it is still wrong and here they take advantage of your age, figuring rightly that most underage kids will keep quiet for several reasons.
I can list a few and see if these ring a bell but in the end, know you are being taken advantage of and counting on you not saying anything.
Why they believe you won't speak up and get help:
You feel other grown ups wont believe you
You feel confused because this is the only life you've known and may feel it must be normal
You feel that perhaps there is something you have done to cause this to happen so you're partly at fault.
You feel too embarrassed to bring up the topic.
You are afraid to ask for help because you fear losing your parents, you fear a parent going to jail or being taken away into foster care.
You fear retaliation from the offenders as soon as they hear you've talked to authorities about this, you fear for your safety, fear being beat up or maybe killed, or the abuse increasing.
You are torn between loving your parent or relative because they are related to you, and not liking what they do to you. So you take no action against them because of this love.
They know most teens have low self confidence and worry about self image and are counting on you feeling the same and therefore not having the gumption/backbone to stand up for your rights to your own body and say something.
They are trusting you will feel that as a child you have no rights, which is totally untrue. You may as a child not own anything and all you have is what is provided by your parents or guardians, but it doesn't mean that you do not own your body. that is the one thing you own that no one else has permission to touch or violate. It is only by your own choice to want to share your body with someone someday if you fall in love. Forcefully taking without permission is stealing something precious from you, your innocense, your virginity which can never be regained. They are committing a terrible crime.
A daughter may be reluctant to tell on her Dad because of his title or profession, he might stand to lose a lot, not just his job, but if he's a teacher, a lawyer, a pediatric doctor, ect...he loses the trust of society forever and may never work in any good profession again, doing menial jobs where he can't earn enough to support the family. And thats a reason for not telling on Dad cus of fear of loss of the provision of your home, food, clothes etc.
Along with this, a fear of having to move in the end, being taken away from the school and the friends you have, separated from pets. Its all traumatic but none of those have the lasting effects of sexual abuse.
As you can see, there's a lot of reason's why they believe you won't say anything. But it needs to be done for it to stop not just with you, but for them to get the professional help they need, and there's one more consideration...
In the mean while, you may not be their own victim, there may be other girls that these males have contact with in thier lives, ones coming of sexual age, or if pedophiles, ones that they are thinking of using sexually. What if you saying something, for your own sake, saves a dozen girls from becoming victims, what if it saves just one another girl. You know how terrible it makes you feel about yourself, how bad it is. Can you truly feel at peace if you knew your female cousins or some of your girlfriends or even unknown girls are being treated the same way? And that like you, they say nothing for the same reasons...everyone hoping someone else will say something so it stops for them too? If you can't say something just for yourself, do it for the unknown girls who may be sexually abused right now because i CAN guaranteed you that at least one if not two of the males who have abused you have done so to other girls and this will all come out once the authorities become aware of it.
Please say something to a female teacher or school counselor. Believe me, as shocking as you may think it is, over their years in school they've heard of a few other cases and know there's many more that girls never share about.
Let me know how it goes for you. I'd love to help encourage along the way dear.
Im gonna try and sum it up. On and off boyfriend for 6 years but were highschool sweethearts. Had our beautiful daughter in 2012 and she is now 3. We had a rocky road through the first 2 years at which point he met a girl off plenty of fish and got her pregnant after 2 weeks. I sucked it up and met her and agreed it was okay for her to be in my daughters life and blah blah. She told me that she had a daughter but gave it up to her brother and his wife because they couldnt het pregnant. After 3 months of her pregnancy we all found out that it was a lie and she's actually kind of sick and twisted.
They then broke up and about 8 months later we were together again, living together and i completley supported his relationship with his now 1 year old son. Im realizing that im still really hurting over this and I thought I had forgaven him but like.. that bond for the 2 of us sharing a child and a life.. is like now gone because we have to share it with the other girl. And she always messages me and his family telling me im just jealous because he has a kid with someone else and not too worry because he will be back with them in no time.
Now i must say he is a very very faithful man and I believe he is the one i want to marry but i find that this situation isnt getting any easier.. infact its becoming more hurtful. She constantly posts pictures of MY daughter on her social media and im really a very mature person but ill tell ya... shes .... one of a f****** kind.
Has it occurred to you that perhaps being understanding and forgiving isn't what you have to learn here?
I come from a background of a total mismatch in 1st marriage partner, his wanting something more, getting into swinging with him, then polyamory. So the first thing that occurred to me, is that your husband may not deep down inside feel monogamous. He may be one of those guys who it hasn't occured to yet or may he knows but doesnt dare say, he feels more comfortable with the open marriage format, or polygamy...one man having many female partners and children with them, married or not, and lastly polyamory which isn't at all what he is knowingly doing because poly has to be loving and open and a triad or more who are all sexual and having children together is another form of family, only for the very mature and not for a person who can't handle one relationship correctly.
He may not have had a piece of paper declaring him your husband but when he got serious enough to commit to you and have a child with you, he was he was actually doing that even though he didn't take his commitment to you seriously.
A relationship needs to be built on trust. Trust takes a long time to build and only a short time to destroy. He destroyed it the moment he began checking out girls on POF or any other dating sites while still with you. Then he left you for her. Hon, I have to be honest, when there is love in our hearts for them, it makes us able to allow a person to get practically away with murder in how they treat us woman in a relationship. Its true. I experienced it with different circumstances but still the same thing. I am a loyal trusting person at heart, but he consistantly broke my heart, my trust and treated me terribly. Still my heart was stubborn and loved him. However, by time 30 years had gone by, the love I actually had for him as a partner has slowly been whittled away at until there was none left. I can't say how long that will take for you.
I may sound as if I believe he is not reformed in his character. Usually when you get a glimpse of what a person is capable of, infidelity and commitment to a woman, there is more where that came from. More often than not hon, when person makes a big grave error, it is because of who and what they are at core deep inside and there's more of that waiting to come to the surface, and less chance of it being a one time mistake that he has learned from. I think that deep down, your subconscious mind realizes this and won't let you forget and trust and thus not seem to forgive. You forgave him by giving him the chance to get back together with you. Now he has to prove himself to you...there's nothing you need to do. He needs to regain, and re earn his trust with you and that will take at least twice as long if not more than the trust he earned with you in the beginning.
Then again, there's one more thing to consider, is he even worthy of your trust in the first place?
Having a child with a girlfriend is the same thing like you marrying a divorced guy with children, his kids and his ex are going to be in your life to some extent forever as long as you are with the guy. You can not change his commitment to her and that kid. You may not be able to stop her from doing things you do not like, or find proper.
If postin pics of your daughter is your biggest concern and nothing else is, then stop posting pics on FB or create a 2nd acct (without your name, a made up title like Strawberry Lover) just for your mom sis or whoever so they can see pics but mark your FB acct private so that only friends can view your pics or posts. So then even if she wants to view them if she is a friend on FB with your family too or his, she can no longer view pics and let family know you do not wish them to repost them, its only for them to enjoy looking at. If she sends a friend request, deny it. That would solve just one issue but not the bigger one. He needs to re earn his trust. If he breaks it again, then the smart confident woman in you needs to arise and leave him because like the dating site says, there are Plenty of other Fish in the sea. And you can certainly find a whole lot better than him. Don't settle for less unless you want to.