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crush advice!!!!
I am 13. I have a crush on a boy in my singing group. He is like a brother to me. I have a huge crush on him. he is 17. I understand that I am too young to be with him, but now that he knows I like him it is hard for me to talk to him. I just want it to be easy to hang out again! how do I make it easier for me to talk to him?
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You're not going to like what I have to tell you cus the answer is actually quite scary and feels embarassing and awkward, all the stuff you want to avoid. But trust me, I've been there and I know this works.
theres a say adults kick around, "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself."
What that translates to for you is this: Fear is nothing more than something like a bully, like a puffer fish. Ever see one of those, normally quite small but they puff themselves up to look many times their size and look very intimidating.
I was also naturally very shy/social anxiety at your age and that didn't help. But the one and only thing that helped me was to face me fears.
How this can help you in your situation is to be honest with a person. trust me again with this. If you can learn it now, you will learn to use it your entire life, even as an adult because there may be other things you face, that dont even include a cute guy or boyfriend where you are scared. Maybe scared is too strong a word, but whatever it is your feeling, its holding you back from being able to talk to him without feeling awkward.
So after all that said, next time you see him, start out your conversation by 'gasp', professing to him how awkward you now feel now that he's heard that you like him. Admit that for some reason you are finding it harder to talk to him now. Inside right now you are screaming that
'I cant do that, how embarrassing.' I know, i felt the same way and internally argued with myself. But once I became determined to stop feeling so awkward and actually tried telling what I thought was so embarrassing, I found two things happened, the fear automatically vanishes the moment you face it for the bully it is. And what you thought would make you feel vulnerable is actually found to be quiet the opposite effect on the receiver of this news. He most likely will treasure the fact that you felt comfortable enough to tell him this, (Hah, if he only knew...) and say things to reassure you right then, maybe say he's felt that way about certain situations himself, and maybe even share such a story with you. Facing the fear in such a way, totally diffuses it's power over you. And it won't come back, at least not in that situation but maybe others in life. Always remember how fear dissappears once you make yourself vulnerable and admit it cus in reality most people are exactly the same way and have those very same fears.
For example, being terrified of doing oral reports in school, I wish someone had told me back then what to do, how to face my fears. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have said, "gee, this is scary having so many eyes staring at me. I feel nervous and shaky and I might mess up. So if anyone can't understand something I say, just raise your hand and let me know and I'll repeat it, unless of course what I share is so boring to you that you couldn't care less what I am saying." A little humor at the end, which actually might be true for a few but not all, will make them laugh and the person doing the oral report finds that fear has now left them with that introduction and they can proceed speaking without feeling nervous. Why ever fee nervous again if you don't have to?
Please try it and let my know how it works dear. If it doesn't, write me too, let me know as best u can what you said and he replied so I can help you figure out what went wrong as this doesnt work for just me but everyone who does it right.
Good luck!!
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Hello gal :)!
Actually it's really easy. Remind yourself that you just have a crush on him. Having a crush on someone means that there is a certain ability on that person that you really admire or you really like. It's not that serious unless you if you feel you are falling in love. If you want to talk to him, trash out the shyness that you have inside. Being shy can lead you to nowhere. Just be chill and start a conversation like, "Do you eat pizza? I eat wasabi." And if he continues the talking then that means that your friendship is still not completely on the dumps.
Remember, be who you are. Some girls change for their crushes to like them back but what they don't know is that they are just wasting their make-ups and dresses because boys like girls who can feel their vibe and just complete chill.
So, what is your personality? I bet you are awesome. And you think that he thinks you are still young for him? Well, nothing's impossible.
From your imaginary friend,
The LittleWoman
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