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A Symphony Crush
Hello,
So I am 15 (going to be 16 in two months) and I am in a youth symphony for San Diego as a third French Horn player. We had our first practice on Friday and I met some new people at the symphony. Two of them were two male french horn players. The guy I sit next to is Cameron. He's really cute and tall. We talked during the whole break (about 15 minutes) and laughed a lot and talked about our history with music. I kind of like him already. I don't know what to do. I've never been good at flirting! He was chatty with me but seems a little shy/awkward.
I would like to get to know him better. But I don't want to come off as a young girl (he's not much older than me.) How can I flirt (in an appropriate way) and see if he might like me?
Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Body language is everything here for clues. There is something we subconsciously do and are unaware when attracted to a person and again if we feel repelled by them.
Everyone has what is called ones personal space, an invisible bubble of area surrounding them that they either allow or don't allow a person to remain in, depending if they like them or not. If a guy you didn't like approached to stand within an arms length away so he could easily touch your shoulder, that would be too close to feel comfortable and you will step backward, away, re-creating that space barrier around you. If you approach the guy to stand real close as you talk and he doesn't step away, then he likes you, even though he may not totally realize it yet. The same goes for when sitting. If he leans towards you, he is interested or likes you. You do the same with a girlfriend, leaning across the table to be closer as you share an interestig story in conversation cus she's a close friend and you like her. People will also copy each other if they like you on a subconscious level. Mimicking the others behavior somewhat. So if you move a hand up to tuck hair behind your ear, he might move a hand quickly after to scratch at his hair or face or readjust glasses. If you move your arms to cross them, he will move his legs too. Dont expect exact same position although it can occur. This shows he is comfortable with you and means its a green light to go ahead with touches and other flirts that show him in a more obvious way that you are comfortable with him. Like a playful punch on the arm if he tried teasing or being funny. Or a pat on the shoulder during conversation. A good one is making an excuse to pick an eyelash real or imaginary off his cheek or a piece of lint off his shoulder, etc. Encouraging words are helpful too. You may not know much yet about him, but may appreciate his smile, his laugh, friendliness, good at conversation and maybe if you are wearing your choice of clothes during practice, he's a sharp dresser. Pay him an honest compliment. Make it personal as in, I really like the fact that you have a good sense of humor and laugh easily, it makes it fun to be around you. Its a compliment as well as telling him you like it and its important for him to know, Because....we tend to want to surround ourselves with only the people who like us and if we find another who seems to like us, we want to spend more time with them to see about adding them to our circle of friends...normal human behavior.
Always remember, he's not a mind reader so If you like something he said or mentioned, tell him. Like if he revealed he seems to have a skill of all dogs liking him, even the ones people say are usually mean act tame around him...make a comment. Perhaps "I've heard that animals are a good judge of character of a person, just like little kids, instantly like a person or not. If dogs become tame around you, its more than just liking you, they trust you. I think its a good sign that I could trust you with anything too. I already like you as a person. We'll have to see how that goes, right? This is also steering the conversation to where you want it to go. It takes practice. He most likely is going to respond in a positive way too, as its practically an invitation to spend more time talking at least if not meeting away from practice. But he may be shy and after several attempts he still doesnt ask for your number, then you ask for his.
Now, if you get stuck and can't think of a way to lead the conversation in the moment, then overnight or the next day a good idea comes to you, then next time you see him, refer to what he said, remember the day before yesterday when you said......, well I was thinking about that and wondering if.........then use whatever plan came up in your head. I too have had moments even as an adult when back in the dating scene after a divorce of going blank and not thinking of a good comeback until hours later. It still works if you bring up it as soon as you can.
Hope this helps you dear.
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