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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Why is it so hard to have a relationship simply because you refused to put out?. What's so wrong in wanting to keep yourself for one man only ?. Most guys feels dating automatically equals sex, but come on, how many guys do you expect a lady to sleep with before she ultimately gets married?. Why, why, why,?.
I dont know what age range we're talkin about. At the teen years males want to have sex. they can't help it. they have hard ons throughout their day, whether there is a cute girl around or not. They can very easily be consumed with it and single minded. It might lessen a bit in the 20's but the males still want sex, not the relationship, unless they are very crafty and sly and think to pretend to give a girl a little of what she is looking for in hopes to gain her trust so they can have sex. Not all men are like that but a good amount are. There can be those who are ready to settle down and have a life long relationship or marriage. If spending all your time with just one person, the objective is first to find out if this is truly someone you can spend time with til the day you die. All aspects of a relationship come into play. Its important to have two things. One, that each is the others best friend and as such treats them like one. And two, that both have a great romance, love and sexual chemistry together.
It is not a crime to be a virgin or even if not, to want to wait for a long time, until absolutely certain that the other is someone right for you on the friendship level and the sexual chemistry level.
I believe two very knowledgable, well read and informed individuals can figure out without intercourse whether they have that special chemistry together without having intercourse.
It should be fairly obvious in how they react to each others touches, hugs, cuddles and kisses...for example with passion and a hunger and great desire and it is only a person personal choice of exercising their will that they don't have sex.
A lot of guys want to know if they are going to enjoy the girl sexually. that is a valid concern for females too. But I think many males think it easier to have a girl put out as you said to discover if she's a good match for him in that area, whether for a social friend, friend with benefits, a girlfriend or a fiancee.
The big problem with this idea is that there is something called New Relationship energy. It is the same as anything new into your life that brings you a super elevated feeling of excitement, like that toy you wanted so badly for Christmas. Then you got it. Once you have it, its exciting up until a point at which if it isnt the right toy to hold your attention indefinitely, then eventually you play less and less and eventually abandon it. Well it happens in NRE too. People who go straight to having sex in the first 2 months that NRE is around often mistake the experience of NRE thinking it equals having a great chemistry with the other sexually and then it wears off. Some people end up married to someone who doesnt excite them sexually at all this way. Happened to me. Married at 20, a virgin, the husband, also from church was not and only recently a Christian. He was willing to wait for me, so its possible. My only regrets are that there were some things still that I had no idea until in the marriage where we differed greatly. The excitement of first time sex was delayed by our wait so we experienced that the first months of marriage but then it dissappeared. Neither of us was able to by simply being ourselfs, incite passion and desire in our spouse. What i didnt find until much time went by is a pattern. He didn't require sex often, I wanted it more often, even tho it really didnt fully satisfy and I never had orgasms with him. We had totally different libido's. this one thing you cannot find out ahead of time if not being sexual with the person you marry before marriage. However, it is simply I believe two people can easily compromise on if all else is there.
Our society is a very sexual one. Kids in grade school know what it means to be sexy and already at that age many girls want to strive after becoming sexy at age 10!!!
Its no wonder many guys believe a girl should have sex when dating.
You will need to be more selective in how you choose guys. For example, if a teen and a guy asks to date you, you tell him right then and there that if he is looking to eventually have sex with you in the near future to continue looking elsewhere and you as saving yourself for the man you marry. It doesnt matter what he says. teen guys are also immature and have no clue about important life things like this yet.
there are churches that are making a special ceremony now for teen girls and boys of where they promise to remain virgins until marriage and get to wear a ring on their ring finger that symbolizes their wanting to remain virgin til then. Its a promise to oneself. You can have a change of mind. But I do know many kids do it and so there must be other teen boys who are willing to wait, no matter how horny they are. If a guy friend says he's horny and wants you, tell him to go masturbate cus thats what you do until the day you find the man you want to live with forever and go to him as a virgin.
If you are college age or older and still virgin, thats still okay. Keep to your wishes. But if this is for the purpose of being virgin on your wedding day, do you want the same from the man you marry? By time a guy hits his late 20's he's most surely had sex at least one or two times if not on many instances in his past.
With-holding tho is a good way to find out quickly how much the man loves you for you, your personality and character and not just for sex.
Sex is a wonderful way to show ones love but a guy who believes this is the only way is the wrong guy for you. there are many ways to show a person how much you love them by actions you take.
When you get a chance, look up in a web search, The five love languages by gary chapman. these are ways that a person can show someone they love you. It also applies to relationships other than just husband and wife. It would be good for you to know these so you can recognize it when a guy does them for you.
I don't know where you are looking for guys. If in HS, try youth groups. While there will still be those who attend but don't really believe and go by the rules, theres a better chance of finding a guy there who does.
If 18 or older, use a dating site to weed out those who are a waste of your time. I did this after a divorce, 2nd time around when looking for my mate. I got lots of flack from guys just for stating my criteria they must be able to meet for me to give them a chance to even meet me over coffee face to face. Well, that weeded out the undesirables quickly. those who passed and i met with, still some were good deceivers until they met me in person and let it show, others were terrific guys but I just didnt feel any chemistry with them. It is a long process, its very frustrating, even if you have a way to weed them out. You don't ever have to apologize or explain away your reason for what you want. So if you're of a age old enough and of a mind to try it, don't go for dating sites where all you get is a photo of the person and you click like or pass, get on one where the guy must fill out a good amount of info about himself and you do the same for yourself...describing who you are to them and then listing what they must meet in criteria to possibly be Mr right for you.
I am allergic to cigarette smoke and so I said the guy must not be a smoker. I wanted someone who was open minded about a lot of things and listed those, and the list went on.
So dont give up. It definitely is not easy. If you want to talk more or have specific questions, just write to me from my column. I wish you the very best in finding your guy.
Hi Dragonflymagic thanks for such great advice! I did bring it up yesterday to his mom while we were at the beach, and she did say he has made comments like that a few times, so she does know about it. She thinks it's a bit strange,and recalls one morning around Christmas time she was cooking breakfast and he got up and was a little shook up but a little timid and excited at the same time and told her about some dream he had where I guess 2 girls from the nickelodeon show called "Sam & Kat beat him and the rest of the boys up on the playground at school really bad until they where all on the ground crying? Another time he was asking her if Hannah Montana could beat up his brother (who is 6 years older than him) and when they were watching the Avengers movie he would say stuff like " I bet Black Widow (who is a female character) could beat up dad and uncle Brian"? Just off the wall odd stuff?
She said she doesn't think it's a very big deal and said he's probably just saying screwing kids stuff. I told her he's said stuff like that to me more than a few times, more like 6 or 7 times and told her about all the things he said that I could remember. She still just laughed a little and didn't think much about it other than it's a bit weird, because usually boys would be embarrassed by getting beat up by a girl let along thinking it's cool.
Well what you said could very well be the case in any of those instances, and to let you know, he turns 10 next month. I never really thought about it to that extent, but it would make sense. Especially after hearing that he's said those things at home. The questions you said to ask him sound perfect and well put! I'll definitely use them if I get the opportunity, which I believe I will, because I watch him more now that its summer and school is out. Thanks again for the sound advice! I'll let you know what he says I'm guessing he might be a little nervous at first, but I doubt he'll be bashful for very long. lol
TY, indeed I would love to hear how he answers you.
What does it mean if you cry over a boy every night while he has a girlfriend but he isn't happy with the girlfriend because every night he cries at night because he misses you?
For one thing, I don't know your ages. If real young, pre teen and teen age, it may just be due to lack of experience that you don't see the obvious answer as the other advice person mentioned, that if you both are miserable apart, you should be together. I see no reason for either of you to date a person you don't even want to be with.
May you are both legally adults able to make your own decisions but feel religious pressures from one family or both, or social status pressure from one family or both. It is not unheard of for a parent/parents to order their child to marry someone of the same faith or of the same or a higher social bracket to have the financial stability. that is fine but money cant by love.
If you are in this situation, then you need to live your live for yourself instead of allowing others to live theirs through you by making all your choices for you. They can not have that control without you giving it to them tho.
Heres another scenerio I will share and yet none of these may help as you didn't provide enough info to help me give a better answer for your situation.
Sometimes, a boy and girl can be best friends for years and then puberty hits or love starts to bloom very slowly, sneaking up on them rather than a one time big impact, this is still very real true love. the two do not talk and share their feelings for fear of ruining their friendship if sharing how they feel, that it will change the dynamics of their relationship if one does not feel that way and they lose the friendship. Since both of you are miserable apart, I'm 100% sure the both of you feel the same about each other. People who are best friends first but fall in love along the way, will force themselves to date other people rather than ask their best friend for fear of losing them. It isn't fair to the people either of you are dating if this is whats happening with you. they think you are crazy about them when instead your heart desires someone else. the tears of sadness are the clue.
Here is a fact you may not know, that the most rewarding and stable loving long term relationships, married or not, have the same two important things in common:
The two people are not only each others best friend but
2. they also have a very strong romantic, love and sexual connection
Too many couples have only one or the other and therefore the relationship is rocky or doesnt last.
If you have been best friends with this boy for some time, then you and he need to have a talk and reveal to each other how you really feel. You are already sad and hurting. Living apart and marrying others for life at some point means you'll be unhappy for life, live with regrets and always be wondering 'what if we had got together?'
Thats no way to live. It is better to take the chance of losing ones best friend if you discover they don't feel the same as you, they'll go on happy with the right person and you'll get over your hurt if you know they didn't feel the same but the hurt of being apart by choice when you both miss each other is something that can last a lifetime and never heal.
Hope this helps. If I didnt guess right, write again and let us know more specifics of your situation so we can help.
Hi,I often watch movies and TV shows with my 9 yo nephew while babysitting him, and lately he's been saying weird odd things? Like when he sees certain girls, usually very pretty girls he will make comments like "I bet she could beat me up easy" or ask " could she beat me in a wrestling match or could she knock me out and give me a black eye" was another one. I just sort of laugh and shrug it off. One particular time I had one of the movie channels on and he had just come in from outside and I was in the next room putting the vacuum away and a Ashley Judd movie was on where shes fighting and beats a guy and he said something like "wow she could beat me and my dad up at the same time"
He was exuberant and Excited about it? Just find it a bit strange for a boy to make comments like that, almost like he wants to be beaten up by a girl? Anybody think this is normal? Should I say something to his mother? Because she hasn't said anything to me about it, or am I just making to much out of nothing? I'm thinking maybe he doesn't say anything like that at home, just around me? Any advice?
I agree that TV and other things kids pick up in society can affect them to some extent, at least to the point of giving them a warped idea of what is normal behavior for relationships. But where he will see that the most is in what he observes his own parents doing to each other or the parents of his friends.
then again, he may not be copying them at all. Perhaps this is a behavior and thought pattern unique to him and he's born with it.
I know some girls can start puberty at 10 so perhaps for your nephew is too. If this is the case, it might explain better what is going on. It could be one of two things here.
1. He is just starting to have awareness of girls, maybe even not starting puberty but as a child still wanting to think of reasons to be near a girl and have her touching him cus girls don't seem icky anymore. Due to inexperience and knowledge of how a normal relationship works, peaceably, all he can draw upon is his experiences with other boys who are more a rough and tumble sort and work all things out with a fight. It may just innocently be due to his maturity level that he finds this interesting.
2. Perhaps hormones are starting for him early. You know that many young children today are aware at a young age what their gender is, not their sex and by puberty or somewhere during their teens have a pretty good idea what their sexual preference is. He may not even know it. But his great interest in females dominating over the males may one day grow into a sexual preference for being the submissive and having a female dominate over him in sex, or maybe in other areas of the relationship as well. There are people who do this but are normal healthy well adjusted people in society and they harm no one. The partner they choose will be just as into their part as he is in his. Its too young to be able to predict what he does now is related. But don't be surprised if in many years he goes this way. Since personal sexual preference isn't something that has any possibilities that are wrong and must be corrected by a counselor, I would say his behavior isn't needing any correction or attention.
You could ask his parents about what you have observed, asking if they have too. they may share that he's into a new show or cartoon that depicts females as more powerful than men or dominate or always do better than men. He may believe this is cool and normal.
You could also ask him a few probing questions to discover why he thinks this is so great when girls beat up guys. One question might be to ask next time he says so, "So its cool for a girl to beat you up, huh? Well is it just as cool for one of your male friends to beat you up, or is the idea more special to have a girl beating you up."
If he still says the girl is more exciting to have beat him up, you might try something like this, "Do you have a reason for liking the idea of girls being able to beat up boys?" If he doenst know, you could make suggestions, "Do you think that girls are just better at everything than boys? Are you maybe thinking that girls are kinda interesting and you want a reason for a girl to be close enough to you, like in an arm wrestling game or fighting? Did you know there are other ways to be near a girl that don't imvolve fighting but just being her friend."
What you then discover may be nothing to be alarmed about but just interesting info to pass on to your sister or brother and their mate. I know my younger sister had many occasions to have some really good talks with my girls on certain subjects that they wouldn't have talked to me or approached me about and I valued any information she gave me, recalling their talks, even if there was nothing wrong or weird. I did however learn where and how I could be a better mom to my girls so they could approach me with anything.
We are planning to update our garden and looking for lawn mowing professionals. But my sister wants to do this on her own. I am in a thought of hiring professionals at http://www.gardeningnorthside.com.au/lawn-mowing-north-shore-sydney/. Please help what to do.
I am a gardener and love it. I owned a house and only had enough spare time to keep the front yard beautiful while the backyard went to hell. It depends on what we are talking about here. The planning and design of the yard, putting in ones own labor to put it all in and then allowing a lawn mowing/gardening co. to help you keep it up, or whether you are talking about letting the company suggest and /or decide what is best for the space. iF YOU or sis are knowledgeable as to what type of soil certain plants need and the amount of sun or lack of it they need and have the time to put into designing and putting it all in, then there's no reason why sis can't do it for you. If she's offering to maintain your yard after the update or you are supposed to, it depends on whether you have the time. If not, its best to have the professionals come in and help keep things looking clean and neat. If just one person doing it, there's not enough time barely for 1 person to keep a yard looking at neat as the one in the ad you attached. Mine was a 20ft by 35 ft front yard and I barely could handle that. Never had time for the backyard.
If your sister loves gardening and has proved with her own yard that she's pretty good at coming up with a nice design, I see no harm in it if you'd like the look she'd be going for. But she is going to have to spend a lot of time at it.
Here are some things to think about:
Most home owners don't own all the needed garden tools or have them maintained well enough to do the job. I did buy quite a lot of inexpensive garden tools. I did all my own pruning. If you are picky about having neatly shaped bushes and hedges, in sunshine, they grow quickly and become scraggly looking quickly. I did not have the electric hedge trimmer, Should have. I had manual pruners to save money and my hands paid for it. there are few as fancy as they seem that are both comfortable for your grip and stay sharp long enough or don't fall apart.
Weeding--It doesnt matter if you start out with no weeds, they will come by airborn seeds like dandelions or even from birds that transport seeds to your yard. I had many a new plant show up in my yard that I had never planted. To keep the edges of the grass area looking neat and not growing into the planting borders, it takes many hours of weeding and retrimming the lawn edges once a week during fastest summer growth times.
If the existing lawn has dandelions and is patchy it will need work. Many people today are concerned about weed killers and that type of poison in their lawns and with water, going into the water system. If you are into natural alternatives to pesticides, you will need to keep in mind that many gardening companies do not have any knowledge of this. You would have to find someone with that expertease instead to help you keep up the lawn once designed if this is very environmentally important to you.
If you have very specific idea's of what you like or want in flowers, shrubbery, stepping stones, arbors, etc... keep in mind that you as the customer buying your own plants will pay the market rate at a nursery while a gardening company gets to purchase bulk at wholesale with their business license. So on plants alone, the cost is higher purchasing them yourself usually unless you can find a place that will allow you to purchase wholesale.
Also, a gardening company can come in and look at the grounds and may have suggestions for the garden and lawn that you nor your sister would have come up with but improve the look and may not cost much more.
Do you want any seating areas, hidden nooks, founntain, small pond, waterfall for the soothing sound of water. Do you want to draw birds to the yard if a bird watcher? A water source is important then, birdhouses too. Are there lots of young children involved who need their own play spot and/0r would be rough on certain types of plantings and beds if they wandered in.
One thing you might consider is just having company representatives sit with you after having seen your lawn and garden, give them the ideas in your head and ask they what they suggest. get a price for just the makeover and get one for the makeover design part and the maintainence after. If you intend to design and do all the work yourself, then just call them over after for an estimate of what it will cost for them to keep up what you and sis put in.
I've watched many garden makeover shows and can tell you that I never could have come up with as good a plan as the professionals did, and this despite my love of gardening and choosing things for my yard, etc.
Hi...I am 16yrs and i have recently ended a relationship with my bf who is more than 6years older than me. I am a virgin but since we hardly saw each other for several months we used to do sexting... send videos etc. I never liked doing it... i mean i was fun because he.was always.happy and playful but he would masturbate a lot while i would just rarely touch myself but fantasize a lot. Now his.aunt found out and ordered us to end our rrelationship. He did but now i desire him a lot. Although i deleted all his pictures and videos i remember them and touch myself until i am tired and fall asleep. I feel guilty in the end because my mum and family would be really annoyed if they knew. My religion doesnt approve. I had been touching myself hoping to have.an orgasm but nothing works. I dont want to penetrate myself at all but touching my clitoris makes me tired and i dont have an orgasm. Should i try to have an orgasm or try not to masturbate? If i should have one what can i do to have one which does not involve penetration? Ps.i dont watch porn.i have never really wanted sex until i met my ex. And i have only dated older guys and i am afraid to date anyone since i am always so horny. I dont want to lose my viginity before marriage and younger guys are always so horny. My ex was horny but we didnt do anything that both of us wanted and didnt force me to to anything.
Hi dear. I chose to attend church on my own as a teen, married at 20 and heard all the sermons that were against anything sexual. Not just against masturbation but against many okay sexual things between a married couple or two unmarried consenting adults.
Although, I heard the sermons and didn't understand why the church is against any of a sexual nature including masturbation, I could not stop from pleasuring myself. Then I was married to someone not my sexual equal, a real mismatch so I wasn't sexually fullfilled unless I gave myself orgasms. Sitting in church, my feelings warred with how good and natural it felt and didn't feel sinful or bad but yet I was told it was.
You are also at an age when a young person begins to think for themself and start to shape their own beliefs and moral nature and no longer go by what has been taught to them as children. The people teaching such things are well meaning and do not do so out of hate or to make people miserable or in the end, f#%k them up, but that is exactly what happens. Your parents are believing what they think is best and expecting you to adopt their way of belief simply because its been drilled into you and they expect you to do so out of habit or belief.
I want you to understand that the best thing a person can do, at any age when facing such diverse difference of beliefs, is to not 'blindly' believe any longer and spout what you are told to say, but to actually check out all the facts for yourself, read books, talk to other people as you are doing here and then make your own decision based on the facts you gather. If you truly in your heart come to the belief that musturbation is not a sin, then your subconscious will be freed and that goes a long way towards helping you be able to achieve orgasm clitorally.
It helps to use a personal lube, KY jelly or other used liberally on your clit. You can have good feelings just when rubbing it dry but to achieve an orgasm, its much easier using lube which increases the friction. Try also rubbing different spots, if not directly on the clit, towards one side or the other. I find this works better for me often.
However I still feel that the belief you've been taught that masturbation is wrong needs to be dealt with. I will share some of my own observations in case that helps. Can you imagine if God expected all winged creature to never fly even though He created them with wings and a natural instinct and urge to fly? It doesn't make sense, does it, kind of a crazy thought, right?
Well the belief that God created us with genitals and the urges that come along with and to expect humans to not use and enjoy those with the exception to procreate is a very faulty thinking. Thats like telling birds, "Under no circumstance are you to ever fly, it is evil unless you need to fly to protect/preserve your life (briefly) in an emergency. Thats no different than telling humans, "You can only have sex to procreate."
God didn't create our bodies with a switch where we could turn on or turn off our sexuality. We were meant to be sexual creatures, sexual based and to have these urges. Some people have higher libidos than others, and younger people often have the need more often but that is also normal, nothing to be ashamed of.
I suppose the churches freaking out over anything sexual is the fact that males are visually stimulated. Woman can be too but its more the thoughts and fantasizing that get them going. However, they expect young Christian males to avoid looking at anything that might make their normal male bodily function kick into gear and them get a hard on whether masturbating or not.
Christians attempt to do the impossible here. I've seen the teen girls at a church outing have to wear a tee shirt over a 2 pc bathing suit so that they were covered and couldn't "Provoke" the sexual appetite in males. This is totally crazy. CHurch families work soo hard to shelter any male members of the house from seeing anything that might arouse them while at church or within the family home but then the male is exposed to regular society. He has to work with or go to school with other females who arouse him whether wearing a dress or tees and jeans. Then theres advertising and so on. If a male were to not be sexually aroused visually, then he would have to have his eyes poked out. And then, that still doesnt solve it as young teen males can have several hard ons a day even without a female anywhere near by. It is a physiological thing Drs and Scientists can tell you there is no escaping unless a person were born without any sexuality. There are a few like that. This is a normal body function and starts at puberty which can vary these days starting as early as around 10 to 14.
Another thing Drs and Scientists have found is that orgasms are a wonderful stress reliever and so, are very healthy for a person to have regularly. Every body is different tho, so some are happy with one a day, others with way more, some require a lot less and are happy with once a week. How often doesnt mean something is wrong with a person.
If expected to remain a virgin until marriage, the only way to satisfy these very natural needs in a person is by masturbation, so I am a supporter of it, no matter what a persons religion.
Also, there is a popular belief spread around, "Use it or lose it." While perhaps no danger yet while in teens or so, by time of late 20s on, if a person isn't getting regular use of their sexual organs, either through masturbation or with a partner, a person can slowly begin to lose the ability to be able to do everything they were created to be able to do. Men might still enjoy touch, feel aroused but no longer be able to get hard, and I am not talking about ED, erectile dysfunction in older men or those sometimes affected by medication. Women can also find their desires fall asleep, only sometimes resurrected with the right sexual partner but can remain asleep permanently. While their body may be still capable of having sex, they feel dead, no desire whatsoever with no chance of those urges being reinstated. I heard that women who don't get enough sexual exercise of the vaginal walls with sex during their life can in older ages have weaker walls that collapse and must be supported by a cylindrical tube inserted that she must wear at all times. On a visit to my GYN, he said sorry for the delay, he couldn't use his exam room cus the lady before me was one with such a tube, which when removed to do her exam let loose the foulest odor in the room, that wasnt going to dissipate soon. So it can't be healthy, but more a way for germs to remain stuck in there.
With these real practical reasons alone for masturbating or having sex, it is a smart practice. Trying to coddle Christian men so they aren't aroused and expecting the women to follow suit, is doing a great disservice. We need rather to be taught self discipline, of not forcing ourselves on others. this is one reason why certain priests not allowed to marry get in trouble, why some priests have sexually abused children, and why some christian men can have all sorts of bad sexual habits, bad because he used only pornography to take care of all his needs, marries, and can't remmain faithful cus he's now got an engrained habit of only being aroused by different women all the time or porn.
So masturbate and also decide for yourself what you believe in other areas of life that the church has strict views upon. As I learned to think for myself, I have discovered many things that are not sin. You can always pray and ask God to let you know if a certain thing is sin or not. I've learned to listen to God directly over the doctrines of the church as those have been compromised and severely misunderstood in certain areas, not all. But every belief is like that. Has some good parts to it, and a bunch of junk thats better not believing and adhering to.
Until you turn 18 and are an adult, I suggest you keep this and other such things under wraps and not allow the family to know as you will most certainly find opposition. You may break free of the ' blind belief trap' and go further than your parents ever will. You can't expect them to ever understand the choices you make throughout your entire adult life, even when married, or even who you choose to marry. These are all your choices to make. God expects each of us to live our own life, not live our life through someone else or our children. You, only you are accountable for your actions and what you even choose to believe that will direct those actions.
These are all the reasons I know of
Like REALLY short! I am a 14 year old girl and I want to join the basketball team at my school next year but I am 4'10 in height!!!
I think I am done growing because I got my period when I was 11/12 years old.
But is there still a way to make myself grow taller? Or should I just not join the basketball team next year?
My mom is short but my dad is average height.
No, there's no way to make oneself taller. Whatever genetics you got from whichever side of the family determines your height and looks.
As to whether at 4'10 you should join the basketball team, I think you need to check with the coach and see if there is a height restriction. Perhaps in professional basketball teams, you would not be considered but this is a school team we are talking about, right? So it may not be a concern at all. But best to check.
Hi there,
I noticed a bunch of zeros in the middle of your words and was wondering if your accunt was hacked or you have a faulty o key or what?
If there is a way I can help solve whatever is causing this, please let me know.
Thanks,
DN.
Husband and I trade pcs, taking turns cus yes, the one has a broken o key. today,I am on the one that still has a working o. :) The key actually totally broke off, the connection gone. No hacking here. Thanks for checking!
I recently saw that you can apparently change the color of your advice column? Is it true? How do I do it?
0n the left under Registered users is C0lumn setting near the b0tt0m. Cllick and it takes y0u t0 a page where y0u will see 3rd secti0n is ab0ut c0l0r 0f c0lumn and has links t0 learn h0w.
So a few months ago, I met this amazing girl. She wasn't like the previous dates, we didn't jump into things too quickly. I got to know her deeply, and I loved every part of her. We both knew everything about each other, even things we couldn't tell others. We understood each other in a deep emotional level, and had a strong love connection. We started dating after a few months of knowing each other, but one day she just went A-wall. She disconnected from society, all her accounts were still up like Instagram and Kik, but she stopped posting and chatting to everyone. A few weeks later I was blocked from her Instagram, and blocked from her Kik about a week after. Then she begins to post on Instagram again. I don't know what to do because even after all this I still have a deep love for her, and I don't know why this happened, I've been down for months about this. even with my current girlfriend, I know in my heart that she was the one. Can anyone help me? PS: I'm 14
At this age...pe0ple d0n't think ab0ut what the c0nsequences 0f their acti0ns might be bef0re d0ing s0mething rash 0r a quick 0n the sp0t decisi0n, and they d0 n0t take time t0 c0nsider h0w an0ther pers0n might be affected by their acti0n. This is c0mm0n f0r this age. I was a teen 0nce. and I believe I was very mature f0r myage, but never the less, there was always a situati0n 0r tw0 that came up where I didnt think bef0re I acted and either hurt myself 0r 0thers.
S0 th0 she may have been s0 very w0nderful, these
are things that will make it hard f0r y0u t0 disc0ver what happened t0 y0ur friendship.
D0 y0u ever see her anywhere? I d0nt kn0w if y0u met in sch00l. I assume y0u kn0w where she lives. If y0u 0nly saw her at sch00l and she's bl0cked y0u 0n s0cial sites, then there isnt any 0ther way but in pers0n t0 meet and have a chance t0 find 0ut what happened.
Being its summer, n0ws the time t0 hang 0ut with0ut sch00l in the way.
Perhaps her parents have a dating rule f0r her and w0nt let her date until shes 0lder s0 she is g0ing al0ng with it. S0 it may have been a cutting y0u 0ff that wasnt 0f her ch0ice, 0r s0me 0ther girl wanted y0u and t0ld her untrue st0ries, 0r s0me0ne did f0r her, that y0u were a bad guy t0 be av0ided. At this age, kids are t00 trusting and take everything as the truth and are never suspici0us en0ugh n0r kn0w h0w t0 check 0ut if such things are true 0r n0t.
If this has all 0ccured in 4 weeks time, if c0uld be that s0mething bad happended in her family that em0ti0nally was t0ugh and the reas0n she withdrew fr0nm s0ciety, a death in the family 0r her parents splitting up, etc.... things like that can cause a y0ung pers0n t0 em0ti0nally g0 int0 a tailspin and n0t be able t0 think straight.
If s0, why d0es she c0ntact y0u n0w that shes back 9n? SHe may be h0rribly embarrassed f0r h0w she treated y0u and n0t kn0w that there is any way t0 repair things and s0 t0tally av0ids having t0 g0 thru what she sees as very embarassing thing t0 explain t0 y0u s0 she av0ids it.
0ne last p0ssibility: if y0u are female. they might be against having a daughter inv0lved in a gay relati0nship and f0rbid her.
The 0nly way y0u can kn0w if the parents are the issue is by sh0wing up at the h0use if u kn0w wwhere she lives, and see h0w the parents react t0 y0u. 0therwise, y0u c0uld have a letter written 0n paper f0r her parents t0 hand t0 her if she w0n't talk t0 y0u. Just let them kn0w y0u were cl0se friends if they d0nt already kn0w and than ab0ut a c0uple weeks ag0, she st0pped c0ntact with y0u 0n s0cial sites and bl0cked y0u and y0u have n0 idea why and if it was s0mething y0u did, y0u'd like t0 kn0w s0 y0u can ap0l0gize.
She is g0in thru the h0rm0nal changes 0f puberty t00 that can make her em0ti0ns g0 wacky, haywire. And her parents kn0w her well en0ugh t0 kn0w if she was indeed acting differently as 0f late because 0f that and I d0nt see any reas0n f0r them t0 n0t f0rward a letter. It just depends 0n what type 0f pe0ple they are. )r they may have an explanati0n f0r y0u such as the traumatic family situati0n that 0ccured.
0ther than that, theres n0thing y0u can d0 until fall when y0u see her in sch00l again and can appr0ach her t0 talk.
Hi guys! I've been seeing this guy for about a month now. We both work at the same place and we both work alllllll the time, as he is a supervisor, he's been pulling 12-14 hour shifts lately. So when we can, we hang out. We consider ourselves dating, we've gone out on "formal dates" about five times and talk to each other at work when we get the chance, take our breaks together, that kind of thing.
He just met my mom last night. We both took our dogs to our local park and took a walk together. We met there, though, the park is right in the center of both of our houses so that made sense, so when we decided our dogs had enough, he walked me home and thats when he met my mom, then I drove him home. They talked a while, he let his dog off the leash and both of our dogs played while my mom got to know him and he was very comfortable around her. When I got home after dropping him off, my mom said she liked him a lot. He still has yet to meet my dad but if we keep going out, he will definitely do that soon. He's also friends with my brother since before we even started talking.
Anyway, the point of all that rambling is that on August 1st, my uncle and his new wife are having a house warming party. So all of my aunts and uncles, on my mom's side, and their kids and my uncle's new friends and neighbors and work friends are going to be there. I want to ask the guy I'm seeing to go with me. I want to acclimate him to my family. They'll like him, I know they will, but he's just a quiet guy and my mom's side of the family is very rambunctious and loud. I don't want to put pressure on him to say yes if I ask but I do want him to go with me. Plus my uncle lives an hour away so the drive for us will be nice just to be together and talk. I'm a little nervous to ask him because where we work, if we want off, we have to request it three weeks in advance because that's how far out they make the schedules the time. Three weeks in advance to August first would be some time next week.
So, with us going out on five dates (no kiss or anything like that yet, or even the official "boyfriend/ girlfriend" title, him meeting my mom, do you think it would be weird of me to ask him to a family party? If you were to put yourself in his shoes and be the guy I'm talking about in this question, would you be weirded out or would you be flattered that the girl you're seeing wants you to get to know her family?
I'm 20, he's 23.
Thank you!
H0n, if he didnt mind meeting and chatting with M0m, I beleive he w0nt find an invite t00 f0rward.
Just the fact that he is interested t0 keep c0ming back f0r m0re time with y0u means he is interested the same way a b0yfriend w0uld be. Its just that l0ts 0f guys I've kn0wn never even br0ught up the talk ab0ut dating 0r will u be my girlfriend. T0 them, the fact they are interested and want t0 spend time with y0u is the same thing.
Its a matter 0f h0w he treats y0u that can speak l0uder than w0rds that he really cares.
Reminds me 0f an advice site where I read that if a guy isnt saying I l0ve y0u, t0 l00k f0r 0ther ways t0 c0nfirm he l0ves y0u and there was a list 0f things, things a guy w0uld n0t d0 unless he was falling f0r, 0r already in l0ve. S0metimes, it takes a pers0n, even ladies, a while t0 figure 0ut that they have feelings f0r s0me0ne.
Bef0re inviting him, ask the relatives if its 0kay t0 bring a friend. I am guessing they're the kin 0f pe0ple wh0 d0nt require that f0rmality and find the m0re , the merrier. But its best t0 ask them s0 if y0ur guy friend asks if its 0kay with them, y0u can truthfully say yes.
Then let him kn0w bef0re he answers that y0u want him t0 kn0w that y0ur relatives are a very extr0verted and b0ister0us bunch and y0u kn0w he's m0re 0f a quiet pers0n. Y0u want him t0 feel c0mf0rtable accepting 0r n0t if its t00 much f0r him.
S0me quiet pe0ple d0 fine ar0und l0ud n0isy pe0ple, like myself when I was ab0ut that age. They are happy and c0ntent t0 sit and just watch every0ne and keep m0ving ar0und listening in 0n all the c0nv0s with0ut jumping in unless asked a questi0s.I cant say h0w many times pe0ple w0uld ask me, Are y0u 0kay, y0u're sure quiet t0night?" And I'd say I was fine, thanks f0r asking, I am enj0ying listening t0 all the c0nversati0ns.
If he really likes y0u, he will kn0w that getting al0ng with relatives is pretty much g0ing t0 be a given s0 he m0st likely will accept unless theres s0mething 0n his schedule t0 c0nflict.
D0 menti0n its an h0urs drive, leave n0 surprises and if y0u feel its better, y0u c0uld 0ffer t0 help c0ver part pf the gas t0 g0. Alth0 I highly d0ubt he w0uld ever c0nsider y0ur help. But just the fact that y0u menti0n it might help him realize in just an0ther way h0w much y0u care ab0ut him and h0w it c0uld impact him.
G00d luck
I am 14 years old and i met this guy (also 14) while on vacation, he was staying in the same hotel so we met, ate together ,went on a walk with his friends and he didnt make the first move, i did (i think he was more interested in another girl, but oh well) anyway we talked and it turned out we had a lot things in common and so on my last day i ask for his number and the following morning (when i was leaving) i was too shy to say a proper goodbye. So about a day after i leave i text him and we have a pretty good conversation but i dont know, maybe i said something wrong but he just left me at read, and 2 days after that i text him again (and i forget that it was his birthday, oops) and he tells me that he is celebrating alone, so i congratulate him but then he just makes no effort to keep the conversation going so i give up too,
basically i want to be friends with him cause he seems like a cool guy, but i dont know how to do it because of our last "conversation" if that makes any sense.
H0n, it may just be that he cant find intereset in a cyber friendship. P0sting things 0n s0cial apps may be 0ne thing, but relating t0 a pers0n 0n line as he w0uld face t0 face is very different and s0me pe0ple d0nt d0 well in that envir0nment. I am 0ne, and I kn0w l0ts 0f guys wh0 wr0te me 0n a dating site didnt like that venue and were m0re c0mf0rtable with being able t0 d0 ph0ne calls 0r meet face t0 face.
0ne cauti0n, d0nt 0ver d0 the texts as it makes a pers0n l00k t00 desperate and can actually drive the 0ther pers0n farther away Let s0me time g0 by and then send a text again. If he can't find anything new t0 chat ab0ut that happened in hi s life in the last...lets say 2 weeks, then he just may n0t be interested in keeping in t0uch, even th0 he gave u his number at the time.
I cant say all guys are like this but I kn0w 0f many wh0 didnt like when females texts them daily 0r every 0ther day, it was t00 0ften f0r them. If he were 30 and ready t0 find the lady t0 settle d0wn with and Have kids, and thinks a particular lady is that 0ne...then a guy will want t0 hear fr0m her very 0ften and n0t want t0 be apart fr0m her f0r l0ng. S0 in the end, there's n0 magic thing y0u c0uld say that w0uld change things.
Okay I know this is weird but every morning after I brush my teeth I have to use the bathroom to poop. And sometimes I don't have to/ time to use the bathroom, so my stomach starts to hurt really bad. And because of this I don't have the appetite to eat in the morning, which I want to start doing. So, what should I do?
P.S. Someone told me it could be the mint but I don't like the other fruity flavors.
Y0ur st0mach and intestines are sensitive t0 s0mething in it. Mint is f0r s00thing the st0mach as many herbalists kn0w, g00d f0r gas tr0ubles.
I kn0w Drs. T0ld me when kids were little t0 n0t leet them swall0w any t00thpaste as their y0ung systems might have pr0blems with the fl0uride and it c0uld make their st0machs hurt.
Even if n0t swall0wing it, en0ugh 0f it might be getting int0 y0ur st0mach t0 give y0u pr0blems. Even natural f00d st0re t00thpast as a rule has fl0uride. Thats why I n0w use 0nly backing s0da, n0t daily but c0uple times a week. Keep it in a glass jar with lid and add a dr0p 0f mint flav0ring t0 it.
Basics- 20, live alone. Always been a rocky relationship. We were on good terms untill...
So, at the beginning of the month me and my mother had a argument. It started of the fact that I need her birth certificate for a passport.stupid, I know.
The argument of course escalated, as they do, she said I was selfish, and never spoke to them or see them unless I wanted something.
Then I went on to say, I know I'm selfish, but least I know where I stand, you never make effort to see me first, its always me to.
Then I said it.. What shouldn't have.. 'who organized my brothers birthday, me! When was the last time you went out with any of your children?'
Now she wont speak to me! Its been a month!
Now this sito may seem abit silly to some of you out there, but our relationship has always be on the rocks. I just want to solve it, but we are both far to stubborn, I should step up and apologise, I really know I should, I love her after all, but I'm fed up with her bullying. I understand that's she's just a mother, who is hurt that her children have grown up. But why cant she just enjoy it with us. We was like best friends at one point... So maybe some advice on a subtle way of apologising, or a way just to get us speaking again?
I miss her, but I just cant say sorry. Its terrible, dreadful, but I stupidly cant bring myself to it. And besides I've finally stood up for myself urghh, shut up....!!!!!!
When a child p0ints 0ut s0mething t0 a parent that the parent did wr0ng 0r attempts t0 c0rrect them, that really grabs the parents attenti0n and usually in n0t s0 g00d a way. The first reacti0n is "Hey wait a minute, I'm the adult here, h0w dare y0u chastize me." D0esnt matter that the child is n0w an adult, the 0lder a pers0n, 0r being an elder makes a pers0n feel they can d0 n0 wr0ng cus there 0lder and kn0w better.
I'm human, I've had the same th0ughts hit when a daughter p0inted 0ut certain things where I made mistakes 0r didn't see I was d0ing wr0ng. It takes a pers0n wh0 deep inside is humble and has an attitude 0f always wanting t0 d0 better in life t0 accept such w0rds and make c0rrecti0ns n0 matter wh0 shared th0se w0rds.
Since y0ur m0ther w0uld prefer t0 be right and n0t humble herself en0ugh t0 f0rgive and ask f0rgiveness, she is 0nly hurting herself. Y0u in time will find by behaving the same as y0ur m0ther, that in harb0ring unf0rgiveness and n0t being able t0 humble y0urself and ask f0r f0rgiveness, n0t f0r sharing the truth (which y0u d0nt menti0n as it will incite here again) but f0rgiveness perhaps f0r h0w y0u shared it, the w0rds, 0r maybe even the attitude in y0ur heart at the w0rds.
N0t 0ne human alive likes the pr0cess 0f being c0rrected. But there is a way they will receive th0se w0rds fr0m a pers0n with0ut 0ver reacting, and that is because 0f certain vibes they pick up 0n that are c0ming 0ff the 0ther pers0n.
It is y0ur heart attitude and feelings t0wards her in general that she picked up 0n str0nger, than the w0rds y0u sp0ke. S0 even th0ugh y0u feel y0u may have n0t sp0ken harshly, it is m0re likely that even th0u she isnt aware 0f it, subc0nsci0usly she's reacting t0 th0se vibes with attitude that she picked up.I'm just guessing here based 0n what y0u wr0te that y0u said.
heres that invisible s0mething we pick up 0n.
If she truly has been trying t0 c0ntr0l y0u all al0ng in y0ur life, and is a very t0xic pers0n t0 be ar0und, (I married such a pers0n.) that changes things s0me.
I kn0w that with s0me pe0ple, n0 matter h0w hard y0u try t0 reach a state 0f peace and c0mpr0mise with them, its N0T p0ssible and theref0re better, family 0r n0t, t0 n0t ass0ciate with that pers0n anym0re 0r very little. Y0u didn't share any specifics, s0 I can't kn0w if thats the case here. If it is y0u d0 need t0 make sure she d0esnt interfere in y0ur life. Y0u picking up the slack, by y0ur ch0ice, where she is n0t d0ing s0mething like d0ing br0thers birthday party, was y0ur ch0ice, n0t her c0ercing y0u t0 d0 it. If it inv0lved seeing her when y0u preferred n0t t0, next time, why n0t just treat y0ur br0ther 0ut t0 dinner and n0t 0rganize a big party where all relatives and friends expect t0 be invited.
0nly y0u can ch00se h0w y0u are g0ing t0 react 0r feel. Y0u can't change an0ther pers0n but y0u can chance y0urself f0r the better. S0 get in the habit 0f asking y0urself, 0kay..heres h0w i want t0 reasp0nd, h0w I naturally resp0nd, but h0w can I d0 better. And take the time t0 figure it 0ut, that's part 0f what maturing and being an adult is all ab0ut. And n0 0ne is perfect. If y0u expect perfect fr0m every0ne y0u meet, y0u'll be unhappy m0st y0ur life.
N0t making excuses f0r her. I was in an abusive marriage. I t00k the attitude 0f being a peace maker, but n0t ap0l0gizing if I had said n0thing wr0ng because then I am weakening myself, lieing t0 myself and saying 0r d0ing s0mething I knew was false which may be y0ur attitude.
0ne time when hubby demanded an ap0l0gy, I went t0 pray and ask G0d, "Did I miss s0mething, did I d0 s0mething wr0ng I need t0 ap0l0gize t0 him f0r?"
The immediate answer I g0t was, "N0, I can see y0ur heart, y0u did n0t say 0r d0 anything wr0ng. H0wever, he was reacting t0 y0ur t0ne 0f v0ice, which in itself isnt bad, its just that HE percieves y0ur natural v0ice that way. S0 if y0u want t0, next time whenever y0u want t0 talk t0 him, try a different t0ne 0f v0ice that d0esnt seem t0 irritate him." And see, even there, th0 I wasn't in the wr0ng, there was s0mething I c0uld d0 t0 impr0ve h0w he and I g0t al0ng, even th0 he was the 0ne with all the issues and mental health issues I wasn't aware 0f at the time.
If y0u take that attitude t0 impr0ve h0w y0u handle each per0n y0u c0me acr0ss in life in ways that they w0n't 0ver react t0 because 0f their 0wn issues, that is a g00d thing, y0u are n0t admiting wr0ng, just learning h0w t0 be the exact kind 0f dipl0mat f0r every different pers0n y0u meet. That takes 0ut al0t 0f the bumps and r0cks in 0nes path that w0uld've been there 0therwise.
I want to apologize if this ends up being a little long, but please take the time to read it if you can. Let's say that you had a friend (a 27 year old man) who you cared for very much who's behavior towards his ex girlfriend is starting to worry you.
We'll call this guy by his first initial, D. D basically stole this girl from his good friend, P after having not shut up about her or left her alone for a while. It was a little creepy the way he'd talk about his friend's girlfriend and the way he'd look at her, but whatever. They ended up getting together eventually anyway.
You got the feeling that D didn't think he was good enough for this girl, who we'll call A. While they are both attractive, A is kind of out of D's league. D is boyishly good looking in a way that not everyone sees. Also he's gained quite a bit of weight and started dying his hair a weird color. A is jaw droppingly beautiful. She's very different and interestingly looking and has gorgeous features, but is very, very modest.
D was always paranoid that A was going to cheat on him or that she was only dating him because she was too modest to know that she was out of his league. He was always worried that she'd eventually realize that he was prettier than he was and she'd dump him for it. To be honest, I think she already knew, but wasn't as shallow as he was and got sick of him worrying so much about it.
I knew it wouldn't work anyway. They were too different. A is a devout Christian while D is a staunch,militant atheist. A is more conservative while D is very liberal. And they have different values and goals in life. It was bound to fall about eventually, the only question was when.
A broke up with D a couple of weeks ago when her ex boyfriend, J came back. J is a lot like A and is definitely more in her league than D. He is, like her, jaw droppingly beautiful. To say that he is movie star handsome would be an understatement. He's a Christian, he's more conservative, and his personality, values, and goals are more like hers.
It's for the best that they broke up, but D is unwilling to stand for it. I've tried to tell him that he's better off because they were too different and because she's kind of a player anyway, but he won't let her go. He calls her all the time and gets crazy, tornado pissed when she won't answer. He asks her friends where she goes all the Tim, specifically with J and then shows up at those places and begs her to come back to him. He shows up at her house all of the time and stands outside of her window while she's asleep just to be near her.
He made a comment once about how he wished he was stronger and more in shape so he could use his muscles to keep A and J away from each other. D's not a big guy. He's about 5'7 with no muscle and a lot of fat. J is over 6 feet tall and would be all skin and bones is t wasn't for his muscles. He's got some good sized ones and if he and D ever got in a fight, J would win. Even A would have a chance at taking him if they got in a fight.
The comment he made implied that he'd beat J and intimidate A out of leaving him if he could. I don't think he ever actually physically hurt them, but I know he's thought about it and wishes he at least had the ability to do so.
Does D sound like a stalker? If so, what, as his friend, can I do about it?
Yes, he is stalking. Yu cant help as he'sn0t stalking yu. SHe needs 2 file a rep0rt with the p0lice herself s0 if yu kn0w her well, y0u can suggest it t0 her. D has t00 many insecurities and m0st likely is n0t ready t0 admit it and seek help. Until he is, he will c0ntinue t0 behave s0 until arrested. It is best f0r him t0 seek a c0unsel0r t0 get bey0nd his issues 0f insecurity.
I don't eat a whole lot,no,im not saying that I starve myself, or anything like that, but I will admit that I don't eat the whole amount that I should, this is due to me not being hungry or whatever, anyway, when I do eat slightly more, my body struggles to keep it down, like It will come back up into my mouth, with out being forced. Why is this? Its sort of happened since I can remember, but recently has become more often.
20/F - vegetarian.
Im with Adviceman, u need t0 see a Dr. What y0u describe isn't n0rmal.
So I'm new to this whole website, so hopefully I figured this out correctly!
Anyway you recently gave me some fair, and reasonable advice, pointing out that it is my shyness that's gets in the way of relationships, i want to overcome this, i have the willpower to do so. I just don't know how?
I don't want to come across as 'sad' or 'vain' because on the whole, I'm not actually a shy person, i just think to low of myself... I guess that's low self-esteem? It may sound like I'm pitting myself, but I'm trying to understand myself better, to move on in my life. After all realisation is key.
So anyway, I believe you said there's was more, I would be so grateful to here what you have say!
Thanks!
I have 2 things for you, and yes a low self esteem if though a person maynot realize it will affect them being shy or just having a fear of people and what they think of you plus lack of confidence.
Even if you have no problem talking to people you do know well, family, friends, this 1st exercise will help you feel more sure of yourself, it did for me.
It involves talking to people you do not know. This includes faces you may see regularly but never really spoken to. As I said, I did this, in my last year of high school and that was my best school year cus I quickly gained confidence and actually enjoyed myself and by what people wrote in my year book, the advice and suggestions I gave people back then, they commented how helpful I was to help them see something better or in a different light and actually helped, contributed to their life in a way.
First, if extreme shy of unknown people, just smile at them as you pass them by. this scared me thinkin g it would prompt them to talk to me and I was terrified of that. If the same for you, do this unhtil you are comfortable with this step.
If past this, move on to a further step.
Step 2. The same except you add on saying hello to the person. Somehow I feel this is already comfortable for you in general.
Step 3. Do the step 1 or 2 and compliment a stranger, person you don't know. You need to break the loggerjam of whats holding you back. Some just don't know how to start or keep a conversation going or have a clue what to say. this should help with that, so bear with me.
Making a sincere compliment, lets say you like someones shoes or earrings, you let them know. Just recently I tapped a girl in checkout line in front of me. SHe had the most beautiful natural ringlets I've ever seen on a black women other than my mixed race neice and I complimented her on how beautiful her hair was. No one takes this kind of thing as odd and it usually makes their day, making them feel a tiny bit better about themself too. Sometimes a comment like this can prompt a conversation but usually not when the person doesnt know you. This takes away the fear of approaching and saying something to someone you dont know and in turn, i found it helped me to feel able to be an open book with those I do know or want to get to know. Once I had no fear of bad reactions or judgement from people once I started talking and sharing with them, that loggerjam breaks and from then on you should find it easier.
Lastly, I would instead of complimenting a person, just make a statement or ask them a question that pertained to the situation I was in.
Example: In produce section of grocery, wanting to pick out a ripe melon but not sure how and I see an older lady inspecting and tapping melons and listening to them. So I start up a convo by asking what she is doing and letting her know I need help. She does most the talking, I thank her and if there is anything she said that brings to mind a story of my own, like she lived where Dad had a garden and grew melons, and my Mom had a garden, I might share that my Moms love of gardening turned me into a gardener and thats where i love to spend most my time. She might respond that all she grows is flowers. In such a short time of talking to a stranger, you already know a few things about her. This is how it works also with a guy you want to meet. YOu really need to know that person intimately as far as their mind and their beliefs, principles, morals etc as concerned if wanting to live with.
Repeat this exercise til its comfortable.
As for self confidence in who you are, your looks, borrow self confidence from a celebrity.
Find one you like whom you feel you look somewhat like, or at least your eyes do or your hair, it takes just one thing.
OFr me, I used my eyes. I had alluring sexy eyes like a certain female celeb. I pictured myself entering a room with the self confidence of that actress and all heads turning and noticing me and my eyes. It seems silly, I know. But I was an older adult, divorced and wanting to date again. When I did this, everytime I left my house, closing my eyes a sec and picturing myself this way or before entering another building, I began to have women and men both (total strangers to boot) approach me and comment on what beautiful eyes I have. I had no makeup on either dear in case you are wondering. What they picked up on could not be seen by human eye, only sensed, cus it was invisible. the vibes of this borrowed confidence is what attracted people to noticing and having to comment on me.
try it, it really works.
My last test came when it involved doing something silly or out of place that no one else was doing and I doing the friend, I can't do that, people will stare. I'll like silly. Then I realizied I said that cus I still harbored a little fear of what people thought of me, even strangers.
It is also important to get past this. It can be something as simple as wearing one of those gaudy jester style knit winter hats around Christmas, or a Santa hat everywhere you go. Until I did so, I didn't realize how much I still wanted to blend in instead of stand out. This all should help you. If any more quiestions, just write again.
I asked him you ever like me?
and he said e said duh! yea.?
U never talked to me like serious i thought u werent really.? he said that too does he like me
I don't know his deal thanks guys
You probably don't know him long enough and to the depth needed to know you can trust him when he says so. Time spent with him should help. There is no reason to doubt it. Think on it. If there is a girl who he really didn't like, didn't like personality or looks, why when she asked him if he liked her would he say anything to encourage her to continue to pursue him? I hope that piece makes sense in your mind.
No body encourages the attention of someone they dont like by lying and saying I like you. I would at least hope young people of today are not that dumb.
So give it time, spend as much time as possible hanging out together. If kids and too young that parents won't allow dating out yet...try for getting their permission to invite a male friend over to hang out...while they are home to supervise so they feel you're safe. And that way you can spend more time together.
Also keep in mind that at a young age children thru H.S. and sometimes into college years, people don't have the life experiences yet or plain old aren't mature yet and that will affect how long any relationship lasts during those years and is not truly always a true reflection of who that person is at core but more due to their youth and will improve as they grow older.
So even if someone says they like you and meant it, it can change over time as they get to know you better or you him. This simply means, you got to know enough about the person to feel you don't really have enough in common, they are boring maybe and you want to move on. No reflections on you as a person. There is always someone right for you.
To me realisation is key, for instance once you realise if something is good or bad for you, you can make the decision on how to change it. Never take your self to seriously and my person big one - dont live in the past - the mind is a powerful thing, I believe, if you have the mindset, be positive you can do, achieve anything.
So they are a few that I've learnt while growing up, however, I want to know more, I don't quite no what to call them, but what things have got you through your life?
What do you tell your self when your at your lowest? Or just need that little push?
My husband has one "You haven't failed until you're dead." Not as good as Advicemans motto, but it means basically the same thing. We all fail in life at something, but the option to get better is always there as long as you are alive. In this way, you learn to treasure life and not let the learning process failures hold you back from actually living your life and striving to improve.
I tell myself often, "Life is like being in school lifelong as we never stop learning something til the day we die." This helps me to not compare myself or my lot in life to someone else. Because like school, people can be at different grade levels in their learning adventure or what they need to learn is different path than mine, like a different school, privare tutuoring, etc... so I never look at someone else and say, "It's not fair I don't have...."
Why does everybody lie soooooo much?! For some unknown reason, people lie to me, especially! Certain people keep thinking that I'm not smart enough to notice a lie when I hear it. For example, my ex-boyfriend told me that my best friend black mailed him so that he can stop liking me and that story seemed so outrageous, it was hard to believe. So I told my best friend about it and she told me that he's lying. So I confronted him about it and he said "Stop fucking jumping to conclusions." Now he's saying that he loves me when I know that he doesn't because how can you be able to lie so easily to the person you love, romantically that is. Why is it like people make it a habit to lie or destroy some bodies friendship just to get what they want? My ex is also saying that my best friend made her ex-boyfriend (which is also my ex's best friend) gay. It makes no sense since my best friends a girl and not all girls are like her unless her ex is so close minded to believe all girls are like her. I don't understand how someone I trusted, maybe even more than I trusted my best friend would want to break that so easily. I can't even talk to him without having second thoughts of every word that was coming out of his mouth is a lie. All of these boys that I know are so untrustworthy that it's crazy!
So in the end, why do people lie so much just to get what they want? Why do people lie in general? Why does it come so easy for people to lie? Why do some boys think of girls as unintelligent enough to notice their lies?
P.s. I'm 14/Girl
I'm glad you put your age because that explains part of why. You already probably know that it is very important to all teens to feel liked, wanted and accepted, they don't like to be different or seem odd or weird, they often have a low self confidence and low self image, they are stressed and many these days are confused as to how to act because the parents even if good role models have a good portions of society and media showing teens a different way to be.
Now add in the fact that the frontal lobe of the brain in teens is not complete yet in growing to adulthood and won't be until at least ones mid 20's. this part of the brain is responsible for how we interact with and treat other people, and affects our decisions making...not able to comprehend what consequences may come from any action. This all can make ones teen years miserable. Lies are used to cover up when a person feels caught red handed, so of course the lie will be obvious. People are growing up not learing to be willing to own up to their mistakes, tell the truth and ask for forgiveness.
But I was once a teen and I steered clear of the people who were too immature and lied and cheated and treated me badly. I found enough friends who treated me well and had no reason to lie to me. Yes, there are still people like that and you;ll find even more as the ages grow. More at 17, 18 than now and a heck of a lot more from 25 or 30 and on. Its a matter of learning how to find these people, are they in some kind of group? Maybe, but for the most part, they will seem loners with just a couple friends. Or you might try to befriend some kids who attend church or attend a youth group yourself. I am not saying you won't find kids in this setting who aren't as bad as the ones you know. the difference is their parents and youth pastor are working hard with them to teach them the right way and a good many will have caught on. Not perfect, but a sight better than what you are dealing with. I also eventually attended a youth group when I was a teen, and though I no longer attend church, it was a safe place to find some friends of a much better caliber.