So a few months ago, I met this amazing girl. She wasn't like the previous dates, we didn't jump into things too quickly. I got to know her deeply, and I loved every part of her. We both knew everything about each other, even things we couldn't tell others. We understood each other in a deep emotional level, and had a strong love connection. We started dating after a few months of knowing each other, but one day she just went A-wall. She disconnected from society, all her accounts were still up like Instagram and Kik, but she stopped posting and chatting to everyone. A few weeks later I was blocked from her Instagram, and blocked from her Kik about a week after. Then she begins to post on Instagram again. I don't know what to do because even after all this I still have a deep love for her, and I don't know why this happened, I've been down for months about this. even with my current girlfriend, I know in my heart that she was the one. Can anyone help me? PS: I'm 14
If she just suddenly withdrew from talking to everyone then thats reason enough to be concerned and if you were close with her then you have the right to walk straight up to her parents house, knock on that door, and ask whoever answers if your friend is ok because of her recent actions.
your young so let me explain verbatim how you can do this ok:
knock on the door and someone opens (lets say its one of her siblings or a parent)
you act friendly, say hello, and ask if shes there. If youve met the family member before just be super nice and say "hey!!! how are you?! and smile, and say its been a while huh?!? and laugh. (get them invested emotionally in you being there so they WANT to please you and not disappoint you) just incase your friend really doesnt want to see you because they have something against you.
Once you have someone on your side thats emotionally invested they will put pressure on your friend to just go to the door and talk to them for a moment.
Next: if its a parent, be polite and respectful, yet serious and "concerned" for your friend. Say something like: Hi, i wanted to check on (name here) and see how shes doing is she around right now??
if the parent says no shes not, or that she doesnt want to see you or cant, YOU SAY: well some of her other friends have spoken to me and their concerned for her well being because i guess she has stopped talking to a BUNCH of people lately so i thought i would just come over and check on her so that i could let them all know whats going on......(pause here and wait for a response from the parent)
just look at them and be silent and make it seem like your giving them a chance to explain whats going on so that you can also report back to all your mutual friends and THEY wont all be coming over one by one to bother the family.
(you can also mention that you didnt want all their mutual friends to come over and bother them one by one if she was going through something and needed some space right now.) you'll come off as just concerned for your friend but not trying to nag them. honestly one good visit to someones front door will usually tell you all you need to know.
you could also try speak with anyone else you know me might still be friends with and asking if everything is ok. Theres no harm in that, your simply concerned (as im sure other people are for her) and your trying to find out whats going on. HOWEVER, once youve done that, leave it at that. Stay friendly with any friends you know shes probably still talking to, but dont push those people for info on her.
It could come off as stalking or prying and i know thats not what your trying to do here. If THEY bring her up first then feel free to ask questions back but dont let every encounter you have with a friend of hers start with "hey where is she, whats she been up to etc" they wont like that and pretty soon youll lose them as potential contacts and then youll NEVER be able to find out whats going on with her again.
you still have years and years left of learning how to properly interact with people that will come and go through your life, so the best thing i can tell you that will save you alot of time will be to WATCH people. simply observing them over time throughout knowing them will tell you alot about the type of person they are and what they are capable of. This will then give you the option of choosing if you want to have them in your life or not. ; )
Sandyodi answered Friday July 3 2015, 8:56 am: Hello,
Can i be honest, you're still young hun and i know that at this age you think you have figured everything out, but in reality you have so much ahead of you. It's hard to really understand women, just like it is still difficult to understand men. If she has pus herself away from you, just remember it is not your fault. Yes, im pretty sure she is different from the other girls you have seen, but you will grow up and you will find someone who will make you just as happy. If things are meant to be they will find a way to work out.
Also, you have to remember that at the age of 14, both you and her are going through a lot. what i mean by that is you both are going through puberty and your hormones are not acting right. you'll both want different things or she might get emotional for no reason. do not take how she's reacting as a necessarily bad thing, but more of her going through some changes.
If you really care for her, id say give it time but to be honest, you might change how you feel later on. Also, there's nothing wrong with being friends and seeing how things go. If you are down, i recommend you going out with friends or trying to keep your mind occupied. Just do what makes you happy.
Hope this helps
Dragonflymagic answered Thursday July 2 2015, 9:54 pm: At this age...pe0ple d0n't think ab0ut what the c0nsequences 0f their acti0ns might be bef0re d0ing s0mething rash 0r a quick 0n the sp0t decisi0n, and they d0 n0t take time t0 c0nsider h0w an0ther pers0n might be affected by their acti0n. This is c0mm0n f0r this age. I was a teen 0nce. and I believe I was very mature f0r myage, but never the less, there was always a situati0n 0r tw0 that came up where I didnt think bef0re I acted and either hurt myself 0r 0thers.
S0 th0 she may have been s0 very w0nderful, these
are things that will make it hard f0r y0u t0 disc0ver what happened t0 y0ur friendship.
D0 y0u ever see her anywhere? I d0nt kn0w if y0u met in sch00l. I assume y0u kn0w where she lives. If y0u 0nly saw her at sch00l and she's bl0cked y0u 0n s0cial sites, then there isnt any 0ther way but in pers0n t0 meet and have a chance t0 find 0ut what happened.
Being its summer, n0ws the time t0 hang 0ut with0ut sch00l in the way.
Perhaps her parents have a dating rule f0r her and w0nt let her date until shes 0lder s0 she is g0ing al0ng with it. S0 it may have been a cutting y0u 0ff that wasnt 0f her ch0ice, 0r s0me 0ther girl wanted y0u and t0ld her untrue st0ries, 0r s0me0ne did f0r her, that y0u were a bad guy t0 be av0ided. At this age, kids are t00 trusting and take everything as the truth and are never suspici0us en0ugh n0r kn0w h0w t0 check 0ut if such things are true 0r n0t.
If this has all 0ccured in 4 weeks time, if c0uld be that s0mething bad happended in her family that em0ti0nally was t0ugh and the reas0n she withdrew fr0nm s0ciety, a death in the family 0r her parents splitting up, etc.... things like that can cause a y0ung pers0n t0 em0ti0nally g0 int0 a tailspin and n0t be able t0 think straight.
If s0, why d0es she c0ntact y0u n0w that shes back 9n? SHe may be h0rribly embarrassed f0r h0w she treated y0u and n0t kn0w that there is any way t0 repair things and s0 t0tally av0ids having t0 g0 thru what she sees as very embarassing thing t0 explain t0 y0u s0 she av0ids it.
0ne last p0ssibility: if y0u are female. they might be against having a daughter inv0lved in a gay relati0nship and f0rbid her.
The 0nly way y0u can kn0w if the parents are the issue is by sh0wing up at the h0use if u kn0w wwhere she lives, and see h0w the parents react t0 y0u. 0therwise, y0u c0uld have a letter written 0n paper f0r her parents t0 hand t0 her if she w0n't talk t0 y0u. Just let them kn0w y0u were cl0se friends if they d0nt already kn0w and than ab0ut a c0uple weeks ag0, she st0pped c0ntact with y0u 0n s0cial sites and bl0cked y0u and y0u have n0 idea why and if it was s0mething y0u did, y0u'd like t0 kn0w s0 y0u can ap0l0gize.
She is g0in thru the h0rm0nal changes 0f puberty t00 that can make her em0ti0ns g0 wacky, haywire. And her parents kn0w her well en0ugh t0 kn0w if she was indeed acting differently as 0f late because 0f that and I d0nt see any reas0n f0r them t0 n0t f0rward a letter. It just depends 0n what type 0f pe0ple they are. )r they may have an explanati0n f0r y0u such as the traumatic family situati0n that 0ccured.
0ther than that, theres n0thing y0u can d0 until fall when y0u see her in sch00l again and can appr0ach her t0 talk. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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