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nephew's behavior?
Hi,I often watch movies and TV shows with my 9 yo nephew while babysitting him, and lately he's been saying weird odd things? Like when he sees certain girls, usually very pretty girls he will make comments like "I bet she could beat me up easy" or ask " could she beat me in a wrestling match or could she knock me out and give me a black eye" was another one. I just sort of laugh and shrug it off. One particular time I had one of the movie channels on and he had just come in from outside and I was in the next room putting the vacuum away and a Ashley Judd movie was on where shes fighting and beats a guy and he said something like "wow she could beat me and my dad up at the same time"
He was exuberant and Excited about it? Just find it a bit strange for a boy to make comments like that, almost like he wants to be beaten up by a girl? Anybody think this is normal? Should I say something to his mother? Because she hasn't said anything to me about it, or am I just making to much out of nothing? I'm thinking maybe he doesn't say anything like that at home, just around me? Any advice?
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I agree that TV and other things kids pick up in society can affect them to some extent, at least to the point of giving them a warped idea of what is normal behavior for relationships. But where he will see that the most is in what he observes his own parents doing to each other or the parents of his friends.
then again, he may not be copying them at all. Perhaps this is a behavior and thought pattern unique to him and he's born with it.
I know some girls can start puberty at 10 so perhaps for your nephew is too. If this is the case, it might explain better what is going on. It could be one of two things here.
1. He is just starting to have awareness of girls, maybe even not starting puberty but as a child still wanting to think of reasons to be near a girl and have her touching him cus girls don't seem icky anymore. Due to inexperience and knowledge of how a normal relationship works, peaceably, all he can draw upon is his experiences with other boys who are more a rough and tumble sort and work all things out with a fight. It may just innocently be due to his maturity level that he finds this interesting.
2. Perhaps hormones are starting for him early. You know that many young children today are aware at a young age what their gender is, not their sex and by puberty or somewhere during their teens have a pretty good idea what their sexual preference is. He may not even know it. But his great interest in females dominating over the males may one day grow into a sexual preference for being the submissive and having a female dominate over him in sex, or maybe in other areas of the relationship as well. There are people who do this but are normal healthy well adjusted people in society and they harm no one. The partner they choose will be just as into their part as he is in his. Its too young to be able to predict what he does now is related. But don't be surprised if in many years he goes this way. Since personal sexual preference isn't something that has any possibilities that are wrong and must be corrected by a counselor, I would say his behavior isn't needing any correction or attention.
You could ask his parents about what you have observed, asking if they have too. they may share that he's into a new show or cartoon that depicts females as more powerful than men or dominate or always do better than men. He may believe this is cool and normal.
You could also ask him a few probing questions to discover why he thinks this is so great when girls beat up guys. One question might be to ask next time he says so, "So its cool for a girl to beat you up, huh? Well is it just as cool for one of your male friends to beat you up, or is the idea more special to have a girl beating you up."
If he still says the girl is more exciting to have beat him up, you might try something like this, "Do you have a reason for liking the idea of girls being able to beat up boys?" If he doenst know, you could make suggestions, "Do you think that girls are just better at everything than boys? Are you maybe thinking that girls are kinda interesting and you want a reason for a girl to be close enough to you, like in an arm wrestling game or fighting? Did you know there are other ways to be near a girl that don't imvolve fighting but just being her friend."
What you then discover may be nothing to be alarmed about but just interesting info to pass on to your sister or brother and their mate. I know my younger sister had many occasions to have some really good talks with my girls on certain subjects that they wouldn't have talked to me or approached me about and I valued any information she gave me, recalling their talks, even if there was nothing wrong or weird. I did however learn where and how I could be a better mom to my girls so they could approach me with anything.
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From what I've learned from watching my own nephews is that little kids are copy-cats. Almost (if not all) of everything they say they are copying. He's getting it from somewhere, parents, TV, or someone else they hang out with and imitate. I've heard my 5 year old nephew yell at his 8 year old brother: Don't you talk to me that way, I'm your mother! I would just bring it up to the parents what you've heard him say. That'll give them something to think about, at least. And perhaps they'll be more careful what they say around him or who he spends time with.
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