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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

If I am virgin can I get pregnant. ...

I will add one more thing to the old wives tale that girls can't get pregnant the first time they have sex. There's also a belief that a girl who has not yet had her first period, can not get pregnant. That isn't true, because the release of the egg from her fallopian tubes happens before the first period. A period is only the shedding of the lining of the womb if an egg was not fertilized by a sperm.
So once a virgin has had her first period, she has also unknowingly released her firs egg, which never got fertilized so the lining isn't needed and the period begins.

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Im 18. I started dating this guy and there is definitely sexual attraction there. Completely sure of it. I want to have sex. Theres no love between us its just attraction. But I was raised to wait for sex until marriage. Im an ex preachers daughter. I have rebelled but the whole save sex for marriage thing had always stayed with me. I want to.have sex but im scared there will be regret and the hatred I will feel for being weak,but its like sex is all I think about. Help me please.

For your first time, I'd say its going to be a much better memory if you do it because of love rather than lust and the urge to have sex cus of the sexual attraction. I have found many men sexually attractive over my life time...I didn't try to have sex with all of them. After a failed marriage, I changed my views on being virgin before marriage. But thats just me. I was a church goer and taught also to save for marriage, which I did, he wasn't a virgin and had had around 5 or so girlfriends before me when I married at 20 with him 24. There were 2 major issues wrong with the marriage. But I will only share the one that pertains to you. We were sexually not compatible. It means, no matter what we did, we never really had passion for each other, our chemistries were wrong. He still got his orgasms, I never did until my late forties after I left him and experienced another man. He had a low libido and I had a high one. He never looked at me with desire and wanted me to work on him to try and get him excited, not him working on me, all about him. I even had 3 kids with him. And I only stayed because of the teaching, "Divorce is not an option for Christians, we must trust God to heal our marriages. At the point I left him, I had a daughter who was not yet wearing a promise ring, puberty not having hit her yet but about a year off. She asked me what she should think about promise rings. I had been open about the reasons things didn't work out and they knew of the sexual mismatch part. I told her that if I had thought myself in love with him and had sex with him before the marriage planned, I would have known after being sexual with him a couple months that a future wouldn't work out with us. I began to read up on all sorts of stuff about sex and relationships and learned or rather had confirmed what I learned from experience...that if the chemistry of matching pheremones between two people isn't there to have great sexual chemistry, then its wise to not go after that relationship. However you also need someone who is your best friend in how they treat you and thats where you get the love part of a relationship. He doesnt love you for the good sex. He loves who you are inside, all of your character and personality and the sex is just the icing on the cake, a wonderful way to express your love to each other.

So you most likely are thinking, well okay, how bad can it be then if i have sex when there is great attraction between us? Unless the guy is in his 30s or near it and very experienced in how to please a woman first, before seeking his own release, you are not going to enjoy it as much as you will, without love but lots more experience in your future. If for ones fist time, there is no past experience yet to make it really good, attraction fades quickly after the deed is done and ones desires sated but having first sex because of strong feelings of love on both parts, will make it a lot better.

I now beleive the only way to know if a certain man is going to be a perfect sexual partner in the long run, is to 'test drive' (as I say) the man before marriage. If a gals takes precaution to not become pregnant and condoms are used for STD protection, then theres no real reason scientifically or really even religiously to wait til marriage. God told me later in marriage when I'd learned to hear Him well in prayer times, that He gave each of us a free will. that means he will not interfere if one of us is making bad choices and force us to do the right thing. My ex had the will to realize he had a problem with mental health issues and seriously want the help. I would have stayed, even without the sex, if only he had treated me with respect rather than abusively. But God explained that the husband could choose to get help or resist it and continue to blame me for all his problems and since he's resisted for 30 yrs at the final point, when a counselor did see him, that he likely would not change if he truly didnt want to. He only went thru the motions of going to appts without wanting to change in hopes that merely his attendence, without his changing would make me want to stay instead of leave him.

Once single again, I dated. In between boyfriends were there were feelings for each other, there were times were I had friends with benefits, not the sort of person I could see myself married to. Basicaly, we had the attraction, they were gentelmen but we really had little in common to sustain the attraction of a long term relationship. So it was FOB for a while. Yes it took care of my sexual urges in a way masturbating just didnt cut it for me. But at the same time, there wasn't the commitment to each other and the selfless love for each other and so it wasn't something I did often as it just falls flat.
If you haven't been having any orgasms or enjoying your self, I truly would recommend as the other said, get vibrators or dildos and learn to give yourself orgasms. For now, it will take the edge off and that releases you from going after a guy only for the sexual gratification and experience, to waiting to find one first who is able to be your best friend along with having the sexual attraction. Once you think you've found one like this, then check him out sexually but take birth control and use condoms. In your life, you may go thru several such good seeming relationships, that after a time begin to have serious issues that won't allow for a long term healthy relationship. Note the problems and in your next choice of a guy, go one step better.

One more thing about the virginity story. Once upon a time, there was no such thing as birth control or paternity testing. So men who wanted to marry wanted a women who had not being sleeping with anyone before him, (there also wasnt such a thing as pregnancy tests) so he wanted a virgin. the reason it was so important is that he wanted to know the children were really his so they could inherit his estate someday and he wouldn't want it going to a bastard child she might be carrying who wasnt his own flesh and blood. that was and still is a big thing, especially in some countries in todays world. this old practice men instated to assure their kids were theirs, in a time of no technology, is not necessary in todays time with the science and technology we have to cover all bases. Its an antiquated law. Tell me, at what point do gay people lose their virginity? two vaginas or two penises, do not work well for losing virginity if we believe that virginity is really lost by penis in vagina sex. Once a person starts experiencing sex, masturbation, or with some one in any way or fashion, you are no longer a virgin to sexual pleasures, you have tasted what the pleasure and orgasms are like.

So in the end, its up to you dear. I have shared enough to give you more food for thought. If you decide to remain a virgin, do it for your own reasons, not the ones the church teaches. If you decide to have sex soon with someone, realize that you may not be happy with the results from the first time. First times with a partner aren't as special as everyone thinks they will be. I've been around at parties where all the adults share their story of first time they had sex. I have not yet heard of a single one who would consider it memorable because they've had so many much better experiences since then.
think of the first time you rode a bike, all wobbly, with someone holding onto the back to help you out and you maybe falling off. You couldnt just climb onboard and take off into the distance enjoying every bit of it. It was a period of learning and becoming comfortable. Same with sex. theres a learning curve.

So choose your first time carefully dear. You're of an age where you'll be dating often from this point on and wanting to check out guys sexually if attracted. No reason why you cant get on some kind of contraception and carry a pack of condoms in your purse. If the worst happens and you werent prepared, you can go next day to pharmacy and get Plan B-the morning after pill, but dont make a habit of relying on it, its harsh and can have side effects. Also, realize that we all have regrets regarding people we dated, had sex with or married. Having regrets keeps you focused on and pinned to the past...something that prevents you from living life by being in the moment and looking forward to the future. Instead of regrets, look at the past this way...make a list of things you want to improve on, either in your own knowledge and experience of sex, doing some reading and research or in the choice of a guy, always looking to make better and better choices. Only in that fashion is past experience helpful to you, for the comparison value and to make a step for the better each time.
Hope this helps you dear.


t

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23/F

Hello, I want to start by saying that I grew up in a house hold that everything got discussed and everything had a solution. Two parents that loved each other and did everything together. Even after 25+ years of marriage they would still grab the car and go places almost every Sunday. Unfortunately it all came to an end when she passed away recently.

But that's not why I'm here. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years with a guy I've known for over 8 years. Started dating after talking for a good 6-7 months. Everything was great. We could talk for hours, hangout all day, we both love to dance even though I'm more of a dancer than he is. I could literally see him everyday and at the end of the day when he went home I already missed him.

Lately, a couple things have been happening. From me finding out that he has hungout with other girls with telling me to constant arguments about petty things. I hate arguing I think its such waste of time and energy.

Hes always going out of state with his boys for the weekend but the moment I decide to go out with a girl friend or even my older sister its suddenly an issue. And I honestly stopped going out because I didn't want to make him upset. Up until recently. I started going out again and I'm not much of a drinker so I am always conscious of what I'm doing and who I'm around. I go, have a couple drinks, see people I haven't seen in a while and that's it I come home. I feel like he thinks I go out and dance on all these guys and get sloppy drunk and flirt. But I don't.

I started to notice little things that in the past wouldn't have annoyed me but now I do. He always needs someone asking if he needs help 50 times before he finally accepts. Or if he's upset at me I have to ask 3 days in a row before I get an answer. Or the way he ignores me when hes around his boys for hours. I think its safe to say my feelings aren't what they used to be.

Thing is mom has gotten sick and even though I want to call things off and venture out I feel like I cant because of that. I love his mom and I think me leaving him it would probably drive him insane. I feel like this is such a sick relationship and I want to get out but idk if I should stay for the time being. Please help

You said everything was great, been together as a couple 3 years and of that 3 6-7 months of just talking, surface level getting to know each other. You say all was fine then. However, as time went on, you both likely got serious about getting to know each other and its when we dig deeper into getting to know a person that we dscover whether there are any things about them that have remained hidden to this point, things which we know we can't live with, aren't healthy in a relationship, and won't put up with, and therefore...become a deal breaker. It means that is the point at which to break up.
Most people who first fall in love are in an immediate stage of putting ones best foot forward, to catch that interest, and so we're more careful, perhaps hiding behind a false facade or personality, and we may easily be viewing the relationship thru Rose colored glasses, unable to see the problems. It would have taken me only 2 3 months to see what you've gotten to the point of now. I should know...it happened to me and I was already married to the guy. You are not married, you can walk away. And who cares if it took 3 mos or 3 years to finally see his true colors, or at least stop making excuses for him or denying the issues and trying to overlook them. The important thing is that you finally see it all for what it is, not normal and certainly not something that makes for a healthy relationship.
At the end you mention Mom has gotten sick. I hope you're talking about his Mom cus at the beginning you mentioned yours died. If you got your story a bit messed up and we're talking of your Mom...and lets say she's still alive but terminal and dying, whatever time she has left is all you're going to have with her, I would say, spend as much time as you can, within reason (attending to school, job and such) and it may not include any time for a relationship with a guy who is insecure...thats his issue dear. My ex had that issue too. Its easy for me to recognize in a guy these days.

If you are talking about his Mom, her being sick has no bearing on whether he makes good relationship material or not. If trying to explain away that he acts this way out of stress of Mom dying, I need to set you straight.

Stressful situations don't 'make' a person change their true behavior and go against their character to act different. Stress only bring to the surface, that which already resided deep down at a persons core. In todays tech terms, its like the hard drive of a person. It contains everything that make a person who they really are as they operate in their life. a Computer with Hard drive issues is not going to work well if at all. With a computer, you can easily change a hard drive. In a person, their true nature at core is something only they can change and switch out replacing with better behaviour by first recognizing they are lacking and need to get better, and then being willing to make the changes necessary to become a better human. Problem is, most humans fear or resist change and over an entire lifetime make very little progress on the major change needs and only accomplish a few very minor ones, ones that really would not help making them someone easier to relate to.

In fact, in your case dear, this is a good thing, that you get to see how he acts under stress. When my 2nd husband and i are stressed, we dont let it out on each other, we don't yell, we dont get jealous, we are understanding, easy going, all the good stuff that makes a relationship work. When I am sick, stressed, tired, I dont lash out or act any differently toward others than when I am happy and healthy and stress free, and thats because of who I am at core.

\So if you believe he is the type who could be driven insane by his mom sick or dying with you leaving him at the same time, its only more proof that he is a weak troubled character in need of professional help and you are not a licensed mental health counselor. You can not help him by staying with him until mom recovers or dies. What if she lingers in illness for 10+ years? My husbands mom had cancer that came and went into remission over a long period of time like that. Would you seriously considering staying in a terrible sick relationship with him just because his mom isn't getting better but keeps hanging on to life year after year.

It almost sounds like looking for an excuse to stay with him. Yes, your heart may feel the tie well and hurt when you break up, you can't avoid that. But your subconscious mind know this is a sick relationship. So don't let the fear of the natural period of time you may need to get over the hurt and disappointment of failed relationship hold you back from making the break away. Don't make excuses dear.
If you wish to go by and visit his mom once in a while, do it just for her, not to see him or converse with him or spend time with him. I am still good friends with my ex's parents. they are dear to me and I don't let his failure at being a good husband hold me back from keeping in touch with them. That means you have a heart. So visit her, but not so often that he see's you on a daily basis so he doesn't feel like you've really left him. His behavior is controlling, born out of many insecurities and that is something I learned in my twenties that my love and devotion to him just couldn't fix. I was trying so hard. But it takes 2, I learned, putting in equal amount of effort to make a relationship work. If on his end, he can't cus he needs counseling, then either he does that or he'll never have a normal relationship with a gal.

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I recently have been accelerated from the ninth grade to first year college after taking a government issued acceleration test. Now, the results came in a little later than expected, and so I was only able to enroll for the second trimester. I have a couple of months left with nothing to do. We live in a subdivision where commuting is quite hard because of all the road construction, and my mom, who usually drives, recently had an operation. I have a daily jogging routine from 4PM until 5, but other than that I have nothing concrete as to what I should do. I want it to be productive, but it's required that it must be doable indoors. Quick sidenote: I am 2 years into my recovery from dilated cardiomyopathy, so I'm not allowed heavy work, but I do enjoy writing on my blog and reading books. I just think I need to vary my schedule throughout, because I feel so unproductive when I do the same thing everyday.

You may be unaware of any creative talents you may have. Now might be a good time to engage in checking out different things. Try writing a novel, writing poems or lyrics for songs. I had a daughter who self taught herself to play a keyboard. She could hear a piece played and then copy it really well on the keyboard, just by ear.
So you may have musical talent, singing talent you could work on honing, maybe it writing related and you are good at coming up with lyrics for songs. Sewing as one person mentioned she'd be doing, or any crafts. My ex recently got into making jewelry, something I still can't quite picture him as the male he is, doing and doing well, better than me. I know a guy friend of ours who recently started baking more seriously. He always loved baking unique items, bread with sea weed in it for one...and now has a small business delivering a small amount of baked goods to coffee shops and mini marts in his area. If you can at least jog, I would think short bike rides on maybe level streets, no uphill...would be a nice change. I am sure Mom would appreciate any yard work you could help with, mowing and pulling weeds, trimming finished blooms off flowering plants so the plants energy goes into producing more blooms instead of working on seeds, that sort of garden work isn't all that taxing cardio wise but you can get some good muscle stretching and usage in doing such and its nice to be outdoors, might help clear your mind for your blogging. There are probably lots of things you dont yet realize you may be good at simply cus you haven't tried. Have you done any art work, pencil and ink drawing, painting? I took up painting 2 years ago and discovered I enjoyed doing Mandala's. It requires a circle with a repeated pattern done in points/sections of 4,6, 8, 10 0r 12. I plan and measure and plot mine out so in the end the canvas looks like one of those paint by number deals. thats my particular style. You may discover you have a talent for water colors, or abstract art. You won't know until you try. At the least, it becomes a hobby to keep you occupied, at best, it can developement into a sideline business where you are selling things on ETSY or Amazon or somewhere on line.
Good luck.

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23/f

I have recently asked a question about when I was first prescribed Zoloft, I basically said I was upset my boyfriend broke up with me after almost 5 years I was so upset. During my time with my ex and before and for what I can remember I have always been depressed I always thought about sucicide I always thought what everyone's lives would be like without me. I selfharmed myself nothing crazy I would just hit myself punch myself in the face I would pinch myself for the pain telling myself I was not worthy. I thought about cutting but never did it. No one knew about this I would do it at work hiding it I would do it when my ex would sleep I would do it constantly I thought it was normal because I always felt this way. I told my doctor about how I was feeling. When I felt so depressed I opened my medicine cabinet and I thought to myself what am I going to take to die? And I scared myself .. Anyway I went to my doctor and she put me on Zoloft 50. I have been on it for 2 weeks and I feel better I haven't thought about killing myself and I haven't self harmed myself. I am worried because I feel crazy I feel like it shouldn't be helping so fast but I feel like it is my friend told me it's a placebo I'm feeling and I am Just confused. My doctor is surprised how I am feeling too because she usually sees her pts a month after they are put on Zoloft and she was so worried about me she wanted to see me in 2 weeks. I have to go back in another to see how I am feeling and if my medication needs to be bumped up I don't know if I am in denial because I am afraid of being bumped up I don't know I feel fine I haven't wanted to loll myself I am just confused I guess

No need to be confused. While generally a drug is supposed to have the same purpose in treating a person for a condition, not all humans react the same way to it. I have heard more about Zoloft not working or side effects the patient can't live with. Its more likely that your Dr. was expecting that you might suffer side effects and thats why they wanted to see you in 2 weeks. What happens often with depressed people, is that when they suffer horrible side effects, they don't tell their dr. or go back to them, they just stop taking it and going back to being depressed.

Even it a person is into natural herbal remedies, one thing will work on one family member but not on another, thats how different all our bodies are. Its not that the medicine doesnt work, only that its not compatible with our bodys chemistries and theres no real test they can make before hand, to know if that is true for you, you just have to try it, a trial and error process that can be especially disheartening for depression patients.

I am so happy to hear its working for you. Do not feel like you are inferior in any way just because you require medication to function as normal as those who arent depressed. Its not something you're doing wrong. You were born this way. So enjoy instead of questioning why and how it works on you. And BTW, Drs. generally don't gamble with a persons health if depressed by giving out placebo's the first time. Sometimes a person is that close to commiting suicide and delay of any real treatment would be criminal. Do not listen to friends, or anyone who is also on med for same reason. One doesn't know anything about being depressed and how Drs generally begin treatment, the other only knows what didnt and did work for them which you can't trust will be the same for you, remember, your body is unique in its chemistry and how it responds to medication.

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Suggest a store I can buy the latest led lights from here in Dubai.

Since I do not live in Dubai, I have no idea what type of local stores are available. So all I can do is list some possibilities for purchasing over the internet. Here goes:

www.superbrightleds.com

www.theledlight.com

http://ledlightshack.com/164-foot-3528-White-Under-Cabinet-Counter-LED-Lighting-Tape-Strip-P4466804.aspx

http://www.landscapelightingworld.com/led-strip-lights-p/vtl-sd-btf.htm?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=bingshopping

https://www.superbrightleds.com/?utm_source=General&utm_medium=PPC&utm_campaign=BING+-+LEDs+-+General

www.myled.com

www.save-on-crafts.com/ledlights2.html

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I jst wanted to know how a girl can knw if she is tight down there or not.

No way that I've ever heard of. Generally virgins are more tight than women who've had sex or birthed children. However, females do have vaginal muscles they can contract which will give a male the feeling of tightness. It takes some practice and in the beginning, all I could do is focus my attention on my vagina and just imagine it tightening. It took some time. But its possible to purposely choose a long sustained squeeze or serious of quick short squeezes, and the rhythemic squeezes are especially pleasurable. A female may feel the penis in a different way when tightening the vagina, its a nice different feeling. But just knowing you are tight before any self experimenting like masturbating with your fingers or a dildo, you can't really know.

I will add one thing as its happening more often these days, that a young female is born with a septated hymen, which means instead of the extra tissue going the circumferance of the vaginal walls, its a strip of flesh right down the middle creating 2 much smaller openings. If this is the case, she may easily be too tiny on either entrance to get a tampon in and tampons aren't all that big. So a penis will have great difficulty or not be able to enter at all and trying is very painful as it would require a serious tearing of that strip with it still remaining in place. The only treatment is a day visit to the doctor for a numbing of the area and quick snips to remove the strip of hymen with no discomfort afterwards from what all women have reported.

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My best friend has started dating a guy from my work who used to heavily pursue me. This went on for years, the guy bought me a necklace and everything. I feel very weird about her dating him now so is it just me or is that strange for her to do that?

Yes, it is one of those life situations that can feel really weird and awkward. I know that it happens often when it doesnt work out for a couple that one ends up breaking up and going for a friend of the one they are leaving.
It can tend to break up long standing friendships if you were to take it personally. But you can't blame her for takin g him away. Only a person who isn't totally right for you and you for him, or a guy who just wasn't totally in love with you...can be taken away. Some day, you'll find the one who is right for you and there will be nothing can could make him ever leave you, not any girlfriends or women he works with, etc...because u r unique and just right for him. Keep up hope, there is someone for you.

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So I’m doing summer softball league and it’s almost over. After that there is a fall softball league. The thing is, summer is for everyone and fall is for everyone, yet fall has way better players. It’s going against A team players.
I love softball. All my friends are doing the fall softball. One coach even wants my sister and I on his team. The thing is, I don’t think I’m good enough. I’m not an A team player. I’m just going to embarrass myself. But I love playing softball and I really want to do it. My sister and friends are doing it and I don’t know if I should do it or not.

Its better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all. A famous saying.

There's actually more to it than you may think. The only word that sticks out to you right now is failing or possibly failing. Here's another way to look at it. You can't ace everything you attempt in life. There are some things you are going to be naturally tons better than anyone else at without even training or practicing, a talent that comes naturally. And then there will be other things in life that you try which comes easily to others but you have to work much harder to produce the same results or close to the same as others. And there will be things you try in life where no matter how much you practice and how much effort, it all comes to nothing, you simply are not good at it at all.

Here's the most important part....the only way to find out what your strengths and weaknesses are is to try everything, giving those things in life a real good chance, being dedicated to doing your best. Then see where your talents lie. same with softball. Unless you are a seer who has psychic powers to see the future outcomes, you don't know that you are weak or will fail. right now its just your thoughts that believe everyones better than you. We can't rely on those kinds of thoughts tho since humans are naturally more critical of themselves than others. It also takes others to see your talents, ones you may not know you have, or ones you deny even if they're plain to see.
The only way to go through life is trying lots of different things, find out where your interests lie and where your strengths lie. theres no other way to find out than to experiment this way and yes it mean failing at some things, doing average at others and aceing some. If you don't want to end up as an older adult full of regret for never trying anything due to fear of failing, and missing out on experiencing a fulfilling life, then take the risks...its part of how to discover who you are dear.

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So one day my mom had to rush off to work she told me to look after my baby brother. after finish washing my baby brother whose 5 months old and when I got him out of the tub we latched on to my breast because apparently he was hungry. But at the time I was wearing a tank top and no bra because I had just gotten up. So what happened was I pulled him off and I started uncontrollably leaking breast milk all over. I got him dressed and put him to sleep and for the next ten minutes I was trying to stop from leaking milk. When I finally got it to stop i changed my wet clothes and cleaned up. I thought everything was fine and that the baby had just somehow made my breasts start leaking. But the next day when I heard from crying for food my breasts started leaking again. Also another problem is that I heard how when ladies who had just had their babies leak milk when babies are crying but I've never had sex so its weird. Also women who breast feed have rapid breast growth and I think its happening to me because last week when the first incident happened I was a large C cup but now I'm a small D cup I don't know what to do about the leakage or the breast growth can someone please give me good advice on how to stop this without having to go to the doctor. thank you for helping.

I am glad you explained never having sex as I thought you might be an older child whose already had a child of your own. I haven't heard of this happening with virgins but I do have some thoughts on this.

Todays world is much more toxic and has changed in many 'undesireable' ways from the time your Mom was your age or even before. I do hear of a lot of things happening in todays time that simply weren't a problem in my time...i'm in my 50's.
For one thing, there are so many synthetic versions of female hormones in the world and we come into contact with from even before we are born and grow up with it in our life. Its in the water, the air, the products we use. So by puberty, a girl already has lots of female hormones in her body not to mention the growth hormones given to animals to make them grow and mature faster for sale as meat in the groceries. These things can make a girl mature faster but the female hormones will make the emotions of a girl in puberty go from the normal expected being easily irritated and angered or easy to cry and shed tears, to females becoming totally irrational, vicious and dangerous to so depressed they cut themselves or commit suicide. I do not know enough about this, just what i have gathered from magazine or internet stuff I've read but its enough to make you wonder whats going on. I can't say if something in our environment has caused your body to become out of balance in hormones or what but its very likely as it isnt normal for a young girl to have her breasts start leaking when hearing a baby cry if shes not breatfeeding one of her own. I remember those days, as I breast fed my kids and only during that period, until they were weaned, did I leak every time i heard someones baby cry. And it is due to the hormones going in my body at the time. this is also why girls on the pill which mimics the hormones your body releases when pregnant, that a girl begins to have some of the symptoms of pregnancy when it does its job to fool your body into thinking its pregnant so it won't release another egg.
So, if you are taking a birth control of some type, it may be part of why this is happening, I can't say for sure, but it makes logical sense.

As far as breast size increasing quickly for a breast feeding mother, that is quite normal and expected. So that is it happening to you makes sense. Although just a one time suckling shouldn't have set off the entire results, I would say it was just waiting to happen.

You'll need to tell your Mom and get in to see a doctor. I suspect it has something to do with your hormone levels being off but it could be something else as well.
Normally if a woman leaks any type of liquid from her breasts, the Drs. freak out and think she may have breast cancer or something as that can be one of the signs. Don't freak out if your Drs. do, they can and probably will screen you for that to rule it out in the very slight case that this is whats happening. At your age, its extremely rare, tho possible I suppose medically, yet I haven't heard of any case myself of a teen getting breast cancer, maybe be time a woman is 19 0r 20 at the very earliest and even in cases, I would have to say, not too common at that age either. So don't worry about that. You did say that the baby suckling on you started this off and since it didn't randomly leak before baby came into the picture, I am pretty sure its not a cancer or some such thing. You may be one of a very few females who are beginning to not only have the signs of pregnancy from too many hormones in her body but it may be progressing to a point where their breasts fill with milk.

An aside, I went to live with daughter a while after she gave birth. I got baby up and she was breast feeding. I knew she needed to sleep longer but she didnt have any breast milk saved. Granddaughter was crying. Wouldnt take pacifier and wanted daughter to sleep for a bit longer so I tried holding her to my breast. She suckled and fell back asleep. I had nothing to give her and that event didn't start my breasts leaking because my body was older and nearing menopause and just no longer in a place where it could affect it. So breast sucking won't normally start breasts leaking. If it did, practically every sexually active female who hasn't born a baby yet would having leaking breasts from their guys sucking their breasts. I would say it could only do so if your body somehow thought it was pregnant and your hormones were way off.

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19/F

I'm a feminist. That much should be known before I say anything else. I've become a major tomboy/rebel just to bring my perspectives out more clearer. My father and I clash quite often because the way he was raised made him out to be the type of men I simply hate; misogynistic, macho-like, egotistic, and always wanting to be the center of attention. He has major anger issues, I have heard him cuss me out repeatedly (then when I cuss he gets extremely angry and tries to reprimind me), he never listens to me and when anybody tries to talk over him - or prove he is wrong about something - he acts violently and tries to make them shut up. He treats mom pretty bad, only doing nice things for her to get attention, praises, and make the appearance of a good marriage. My younger brother follows in his footsteps and is turning out to be just like him. I come to the point where I can't touch or look at either - especially dad - and I can't even be near him. Am I wrong to feel like this? Lately I've been having a lot of dark feelings towards a lot of people I don't like, even getting irritated by loud things (music I don't like being too loud, people yelling right next to me, etc) so... should I re-evaluate myself, or is there some form of sanity within my way of acting (fondly called "attitude" by my parents)?

Your Father is the very first example you get of a male role model as you're being raised from a young child. A lot of what we feel about males in general will be based on what we witness and/or experience. If a good role model, you would on into dating with a healthy attitude, realizing that there are men who are lazy, bigoted, insecure, anger filled, and have a poor concept of women in their minds. When seen in comparison to a man who upheld and supported his wife, considered her an equal, or valued her as a Goddess among women, then you won't have any trouble finding a man as great as your Dad for your own sweetheart.

BTW, the perfect male role model I just mentioned is very rare and hard to find but if you're patient and diligent and don't lower your standards, you can find the one who is just right for you. I have such a husband 2nd time around, I had to divorce the first, abusive guy.

So yes, you have every right to not like the kind of person your father is and see him as a poor example of a man. You already know what to avoid in looking for a guy and thats a good place to be. My hubby when he had a child with ex, both were concerned about whether they could be good parents as both had poor examples of that. What they decided is to avoid doing all the things wrong their parents did and everything should turn out alright. they have a very healthy, normal, balanced person in their daughter. So it is very possible for you to be able to do the same, by avoiding men who remind you of your Dad.

I do have a suggestion in case it applies to you. If it doesnt, I don't mean to offend, its just how I see things and how the use of certain words in our thoughts and speech can set up our moods and attitudes that others pick up on.

Here goes. I understand and support the feminist movement. However, I do not call myself a feminist. Instead I call myself a Goddess. A Goddess stands for everything that a feminist does. The difference is that I see "feminist' as being in a position of having to strive for that position, to have to teach it to others, coming from a place of feeling one is treated inferior, so its a position of always having to fight hard to gain an inch of respect and equality.

Yes, maybe education can help. But as i mentioned with the role model thing, what makes a bigger impression is to find the kind of male who supports you this way, become a couple and as a couple be very visual where many others can witness an example of what the perfect equality in relationship is, the perfect balance and the perfect knowledge on both partners parts of who they are in the relationship, their role and importance to the relationship. I have that with my second husband. I didn't wise up until my late 40s but I have in a husband what most women long for, and what feminists have trouble finding.

The difference came later in life as I left the church but became more spiritual and in my discoveries felt a certain kinship with people of pagan belief systems. Many worship a Goddess, some like Druids acknowledge an equal balance and address God and Goddess, or often say Lord and Lady. It was here I found more often, men who understood and believed women to not only be on equal terms but many also believed she deserved to be elevated to a place of worship, or at least treasuring her, for woman has the ability to do what males cannot, create life and as such deserved to be revered. I liked what I heard. It made sense. I began to see myself as a Goddess and divorced the EX. When I dated, it was rare I found a boyfriend to date but I had high standards and put my requirements of a male, my criteria in a dating site. It helped weed out the worst. My standards were so high many complained or cussed me out. good, i had just weeded out more undesireables.
I learned to take control as a Goddess would, of my relationship future. I wasn't coming any longer from a position, of scrabbling to attain this higher position, I came from a position of already being there and letting it be known what I as a Goddess expect from any man who thinks to stand before me. So dear, set your standards high, don't lower them for any.
Lets say you meet a nice guy. Then he does something or says something that irritates you, sounds condescending or what. You get to teach him, train him is he is really such a man who is good at core but just not quite totally mindful of what he's doing. The FIRST time you need to tell him that what he did is not okay and wont be tolerated, that if it reoccures is a deal breaker for the relationship is important to do and give a 2nd chance. If he is a truly good man, he will not repeat an offense. He may begin to slip and catch himself and apologize and by what he says, you;ll know it was merely him trying to break a habit and from then, he never repeats. However, if a man repeats an offense and isn't caring that he did, you can bet there is more of that behavior deep at core waiting to surface and this is the moment to break up. Don't ever be so desperate for a guy that you will put up with crap. But you also don't have to remain single the rest of your life. A perfect man will uphold you the right way.
I will paraphrase what my hubby wrote in his opening message to me the first time on dating site.
"I am old enough to have come to realize my role as a male where it comes to women. My role is to uphold them in all that they do and create, to help enable them to bring forth that which they are gifted to do, and support them in any way I can." He also addressed me as "my Lady", and his opening line was not to say how hot or sexy I was. Instead, later in his message he said I was fair on the eyes, but that ones appearance shouldn't be the only attraction but to who the person was inside. From what I'd written of myself, his first impressions were that I sounded too good to be real, that I was full of BS. Later he wrote deciding that if I was full of BS, I'd quickly show it once we started talking and meeting. He was surprised to learn I was everything I said a I was and what I believed and how I lived my life. He calls me a Goddess. I had an ex boyfriend separated from wife to divorce, who also blurted out one day that I am a Goddess and went on to explain why he believed that. Yet when the wife wanted to try to make marriage work again, and the kids and history they have together, he decided to go back with her, amid tears on both sides. But what I am saying is that without me openly voicing that I am a Goddess, just believing it in my mind, 2 men in my life realized that and voluntarily called me one and have treated me as one, putting me on a pedestal but also enjoying working side by side where ever we can. With such a man, you get someone who recognizes your intelligence, your kind caring and just heart and trusts you implicitly with any final decisions upon which you do not compromise. In fact, my husband often will get an idea of something he'd like to try or do, a decision that might affect us financially or otherwise, and he comes to me, with his idea, and asks for my input, my direction, my intuition on it and says he will go with whatever I say. He sees the wisdom in me and knows my leading and choices will not be reckless.

I think your dark feelings do need to be dealt with for as long as they are there, they will not help in attracting the right guy for whenever you are ready for one. You likely feel this way from things that have formed over time due to the situation in which you were raised, seeing Mom treated as less than a human being or living thing, and also her so weak, without a spine she's willing to put up with and accept it. When it comes to others you come across in society that irritate you for whatever reason, take a couple deep breaths. You may need to take more time in your life to incorporate some stress relieving, calming events, meditating, some form of exercise or more of it or a different type, finding time to get out doors...out in nature, de-stressing things, like listening to your favorite music that calms you and or singing along or dancing to it, comedy is a good stress reliever as well as getting plenty of hugs. And finally, little known or reported to the general public, orgasms are a really good stress reliever so if single, masturbate.
Besides de-stressing, another thing that helps is the view point you choose. It works wonders in your bodys response to irritating, mean, spiteful people you come across in society, whether directly they focus on you or not.
I believe in reincarnation. You don't have to but it helps me feel that souls on this planet are at all 'grade' levels like in school. Some are brand new...like Kindergarten, and others HS and inbetween. If we progress and learn in one life time or many lifetimes, there will always be that steep learning curve and we are not being timed as to how quickly we progress and learn and mature as souls. Therefore, you will always come across other people who irritate you, or treat you terribly in life. The only way I can really deal with it mentally is to realize they just don't know any better, they are not as mature as me. they are further behind than perhaps myself, but at some point in time, even if briefly, I was there at their level without God/Goddess pushing me to progress faster. We have all been given a free will...so we either change or resist change...we've all been given those rights but over time, everyone eventually changes and grows enough to progress on. It just may be irritating that they take so long and are so slow, however you understand, we can't expect the Creator to give rights to only those who 'get it' right now and take those rights away from those doing the wrong thing. God/Goddess is fair and just. this has been long but I believe you really needed to hear all of this to help you know how to feel about being feminist and how to expect the best as far as finding the right man some day

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I'm a 15 year old girl. I've liked, or at least I thought I did, this guy for a couple years now. He also happens to be my best friend along with his younger sister. He's confronted me twice about liking him and I turn him down each time, even though I do like him. But there's also this boy at church and we've become really good friends, possibly more. We tease each other and he makes me feel giddy inside. But so does my best friend.. Could someone please explain this to me? I'm so confused.

In our teens, females have a need to be noticed by males and in a positive way, affirmed as being a normal pretty female. We either consciously seek to fill that need, or more often, subconsciously. So it may be entirely so, that you are enjoying have confirmation of this sort from more than one. It doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with whether you have any romantic stirring to either one. So, its' normal to enjoy attention from several guys.
As for what feelings you may develop, and 'liking' a person, I will share what my interpretation of 'liking' a guy is to me and it may help you in being able to know and then express or confirm/deny any existance of interest or liking.

When I like someone, I've gone beyond the attraction stage of seeing someone, where I am liking their appearance, liking some surface level things I can pick up by just observing them. But i Don't know enough about them yet to know if I will like their personality and if I have things in common with them. This applies in many ways to other types of relationships besides bf/gf. How about your girlfriends? Maybe you weren't attracted to approach and befriend girls who dressed like geeks, or goths. Maybe once you thought you saw someone friendly, confident and outgoing, you wanted to spend a little time with her to get to know her better to see if you had enough in common to become close friends.
Its the same with guys dear. In the end, the guy you end up spending the rest of your life with, raising kids with, is going to need to be your bestest friend and also have the romantic chemistry with you. At your age, you're just starting to learn what you like and don't like and its a process of going thru several relationships, learning with each one to reach for a relationship a step better than the last one, each time until you've found the one you want to be with, and he with you for life long.

Right now you're in the exploring stage. You know you are attracted for particular reasons to each one. There is a stage just before the dating one where one makes a commitment of sorts like being bf/gf. It is still dating, or call it hanging out with the person, but this is the info gathering stage, during which you gather more information on a person, or it may be on 2 or 3 interested in you at the same time. It is okay to see several at a time as long as you make it clear to all males concerned that you are doing so in order to decide which one you will chose to make a commitment to, thats assuming all the males involved want to make a commitment to you. Guys can handle this type of exploratory dating without being jealous as they often do the same without realizing it. this stage is where many girls get their hearts broke thinking that because a guy asks her out (info gathering stage) that it means he has made some kind of commitment to her when that is not so.

So it depends on how you feel about the guy you've known a couple years. You've been around him enough I would hope to know him really well by now, enough to know if he's worth considering or not, based on whether there is any romantic spark. Sometimes with a best friend who is of the opposite sex, the romance part doesnt alway hit you like the explosion of dynamite in the beginning, but starts as an ember, grows to a coal, begins to spurt into a small flame that slowly grows with time to become that same raging fire as you were hit by with someone else right at first meeting or early on. This is also normal and either way can end up being equally true romantic attractions and good chemistry.

So when your best friend asks if you like him, be honest, don't deny anything. Just explain the best you can, that indeed you do like him, always have as your best friend. You believe you may even be going beyond that but at your age with no previous experience in such matters, you aren't totally sure so you don't want him to get his hopes up. You'd be open to checking out how that part of the relationship might go but theres someone else you equally like at this stage and aren't sure about yet. You need time to check out both of them before deciding which guy you will choose to have for your boyfriend or first real boyfriend. If you talk like this it shows the males that you are the one in control and deciding who you will date rather than wait around desperately waiting for a guy to ask you out. You decide which ones sound like good possibilitys, explore further, then make a decision. Even so, in time we may find our decision of a boyfriend, or even marriage partner wasn't the best. the point at which you realize this, is the time to break up, move on, and seek to imrove with your next choice of a sweetheart.
I hope this helps give you the confidence to enjoy exploring the friendship and maybe more with both of them. Just be open and honest about it with both. If you ever run across a guy who acts jealous that another guys likes you or that you are attracted to another at any time before you and he have made commitments to each other, then run like hell from him cus he's insecure, has low self confidence and self image as a male and is just a control freak waiting to happen. That kind of guy makes the worst possible partner and consider a jealous guy, a potentional problems quickly weeded out from among your choices. Good luck dear.

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Hi! My name is Brianna. I recently got out of a relationship of 4 years...so I'm a little lost with this "does he like me" stuff". I'll try not to make this too long. BUT HELP!

Alright, I'm in this internship. One of the other students and I basically began texting and you know, it seemed like it would be flirting. We would go to group lunches and stuff and text basically all of the time. But we decided to make this whole thing a secret because i'm the student coordinator for this internship (he's 22 and I'm 21). He invited me to his house after a few weeks and I said no because i hadn't really known him and I said I would prefer meeting alone for lunch or something. It's rather hard to meet because he works in a different city, commutes to a different city for his internship, and comes to my city for classes on Friday. Eventually, I decided to come over to his place because it's just hard to get together besides friday and I don't have my pwn place either...

I'm not looking for a realtionship either and we've expressed that to each other. But I'm not gonna lie, he's very well together, just graduated, attractive so I wouldn't mind if things worked and maybe i am getting some feelings...but I'll live if it doesn't happen. SO we had sex...a few times. it's fun making this a secret. But I wannt say he's catching feelings too? We had a work trip last week and basically hung out the whole time. even though he asked to keep this a secret, he moved 4 times on the bus to sit next to me, flirts with me like normal and he made a lame excuse to hang with me after the trip once everyone left. He said "where can I get an oil change?". It's like we hang out at his house and sit there like we're 12 and nervous. He comes up with the lamest exucses to text me and they form into conversations (usually questions about work
thats irrelevant). After taking him to a gas station since he wasn't from the area after the trip, we hung out there for like 10 minutes like idiots. Then sat in our cars and stared at eachother smiling at eachother like we didn't want eachother to leave for the next 5 minutes. like WHAT IS GOING ON! So I asked when would we hang out again WITHOUT a group of people and he said he was busy and had to drive home to kentucky. I'm like fine. But we act kind of secret in groups, but more and more hes a little more flirty, but then has moments where i feel like he's just not interested. He hasn't invited me back to his place, and i feel like i'm bugging him and don't want to. So how should i do this? Just let it go? or give him space. There's like 2weeks left of our internship anyway... one more thing...I've hung around him plenty now. He's not a slow texter from what I notice. At first, he would text back pretty quick. Now it's an hour or two or even several. Or sometimes it'll be fast, but mostly slow. Thoughts?

Well, you did say the following, I'm not looking for a realtionship either and we've expressed that to each other.

That is something you set as boundaries or ground rules for the relationship before you really knew each other.

You know that when terms are done and he's on his own way, there's little likelihood of the two of you being close enough to get a chance to meet together again. So you need to decide what it is you want.
If you just want a social relationship for now and nothing serious because the timing is off for you, then let it go.
If you didn't want something serious but realize that if the right person seemed to come along, you'd be willing to investigate further is thats so, in order to not lose a chance with the guy, well, then you have to say something.

What I would say is, "I know that in the beginning, we both established that we weren't looking for anything serious yet, no real relationship. Well, I want to amend that. I am not looking for a relationship, but I was open to checking out a person further if I ran into anyone who seemed promising enough to check out further. So far, I'd have to say that you catch my interest in that way. I'd really like the chance to get to know you even better and see if it develops into anything. What do you think?"

This brings the issue to the table, and you're asking for his opinion at the end after telling him how you're thinking and gives him the option to decide yes or no without you begging him to stay in touch, in touch as a friend or start a relationship with you.
Of course you can choose to not say a thing and the two of you drift apart, going your own ways. Then you will have to put up with a lifetime of wondering always if something could've worked out between you. That wondering can bring on regrets for not saying anything and make your thoughts tend to dwell on the past rather than on your day to day life. So to avoid that, best to say something. good luck and let me know how it goes.

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So a few years ago I as at 'haunted house' type event with a friend. It was really cold and we were creeped out by all the people in costumes walking around so we spend a lot of time in the Gypsy tent. We used all our money to get in the event so we didn't have enough to pay for anything, so we just spent a lot of time getting to know the women in there.

Anyway, this one nice woman decided to give us a free(and very brief but it was free so I'm not complaining) tarot card reading(I think, from what I remember anyway) for keeping them company and being so nice.

At the time I knew nothing about them and recently have started reading up a little on them. The thing is I can't remember my card... I remember it looked pretty to me, and when I first saw it I was happy I had that card(even though I didn't know what it meant), and all I remember of what the woman said was that it meant "I can tell when people are lying" at least, I think that's what she said, it was so long ago... I want to say the picture was of a big sun, but I might be wrong, I really don't remember.

I know this isn't much info, but anything you can think of that could help me find it or if you know what card it is please let me know, I keep remembering it and I'm really curious to know more about what card I had, Thank You!

Why not get another Tarot card reading for today? The tarot cards that are pulled will always be for something going on in your life right now or coming up soon, or help bring clarity in making decisions. Most people buy their own tarot card deck these days and a booklet that describes briefly the meaning of the cards usually comes with the deck or you can purchase a book that very simply answers what certain cards mean and the choices of different layouts. I have always only pulled my own cards and read up on the meanings. And it is usually always 'right on', as to what i am going through.

I can't say that this 'one' card from the past still applies to you today so remembering it may be fruitless.
There is a Sun card in the tarot deck, part of the Major Arcana. You can do your own search on line for what it means by searching under "Sun tarot Card meaning" as I did, or just read the few I chose to put links to...there were many.

www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/major-arcana/sun

www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/sun.shtml

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sun_(Tarot_card)

thesecretofthetarot.com/sun-tarot-card-meaning

www.trustedtarot.com/cards/the-sun

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We're 14, dating for over 2 years, madly in love, fairly open about our love to. At least for someone in this situation.

I find it sad that us being related makes people sick that we love eachother, I guess I just came here to seek some approval

We cuddle, kiss, go out to dates, everything a regular couple does.



The part no one except my best friend and our other sister really knows about is that yes we have had sex before. A quite a few times. I'd imagine that'll be a turn off point for most people reading this.

We cuddle, kiss, go out to dates, everything a regular couple does.

The part no one except my best friend and our other sister really knows about is that yes we have had sex before. A quite a few times. I'd imagine that'll be a turn off point for most people reading this.

I can see you got lots of responses.
I am the skeptical type at times, and have to be as in the past, people have written in with incredible stories, the kind that would provoke a response from the general public, and especially advicegivers.
You did not ask a specific question...just telling us of what you are supposedly doing. this could be for real, in which case, you've already gotten your answers, or it could be something else.

If you are not in that kind of situation with a sister, and this is a made up story, then read on.

Some people have personalities, even certain sun sign types, who generally are the kind who like being in the lime-light, the center of attention, the one to instigate a big drama, or event for all the power and satisfaction it delivers them. Some may have other things contributing to this kind of attention getting behavior. If this is a story to get people riled up, I would suggest you stop a moment and ask yourself why..why you are doing this? Apparently, there is something missing in your life, or you have a need that is going unfulfilled and you are resorting to this as a way to fulfill it. I don't know you or your circumstances, but I had a mentally ill ex, and I have one daughter who is too. I know personally know plenty people with thought patterns that tend to be on the negative side most times and is what compells them to make choices in life that don't really help them go any where in life, at least, not to get or accomplish what they want... And they are not mentally ill, but are still being held back or unhappy or feel something missing in life. A counselor can help a person sort through to discover what it is that you really need in life and find a venue into which you can channel your energies in a more positive way that fulfills your need. Again, I dont really know you, don't mean to sound mean, but if this is your round about way to ask for help, I am just letting u know, I heard you. And I hope you do whatever necessary to be happy and have a fruitful satisfying life. I still would recommend seeing at least a life coach, or a counselor. I myself have done so in the past during a hard period of my life and it does help.

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it started when we were on vacation in 2014, she would just out of the blue say things like "don't mind me" or "hey i'm going to get naked in front of you, i'm sorry" obviously not naked but she would be wearing her panties... I'll say "oh thats ok i don't care".

She never use to be like that. She would always hide or be discrete like any normal girl. she has gone as far as wear short shorts, tank top thats etc thats what normal girls do when they walk around or bum around. she's only 18 so she dress flirty. hell i couldn't even see her in a towel!

starting to have a huge crush on her

I am going to guess that you are a male, a brother, rather than female and her sister. If females see each other nude, its no big thing, especially family. She'd see the same in the dressing room at the local city pool with other females.
So I am going on the feeling you are a male which changes things totally. Males, even brothers once hitting puberty or older, are going to not only be aware of any female members of the family as sisters, mother, aunts, cousins, but begin to see them as a sexual creature if they are developed, and that is normal, something you can't avoid. BUT, and this is a big but.....the female family members usually have clothes on. Thats hard enough for a young male to handle. Now she wants to strip in front of you and be totally naked?
Well, if the whole family were raised as nudists and used to it, still no big thing. But I dont think thats why you're writing. In your family, most likely you've all been taught to follow parents way of life, which involved discretion and privacy when it comes to ones body and nudity. YOu've been taught to allow others privacy and that is much valued. For her to go the total opposite and bare herself to a her brother is in this situation a sign that something is wrong, something is off. She is needing or wanting something in her life that she doesnt have right now and I am not talking about a boyfriend or sex partner.
Teen girls all go thru a time, where its bred into them to want, need, desire some type of approval and notice from a male member of the family validating them as a person moving from childhood into puberty and adulthood. This is a time when those who have a good father will want to spend more time talking with him, getting hugs from him and hoping for encouraging words like, "oh honey, my little girl has grown up so fast I'm going to need to quickly buy a baseball bat to beat off all the guys who come after you because you are so beautiful, inside and out."
My own Dad had his ways to encourage me so that need was met in the most appropriate way. It doesnt take much. A workaholic Dad not there for the family, a Dad on drugs or who is always drunk, an absentee Dad, or one with mental illness or selfish traits, is not going to be able to 'be there' for a growing daughter in this way. Its not looking for sexual gratification on the girls part, more of as I said, a validation that she indeed is becoming a grownfemale whom males will find attractive, its all part of the self confidence thing almost all teens go through. You say shes 18 and by now she shouldn't be going thru this need for approval. But those who never got it will turn to boyfriends and sex to get it, or if not that, turn to all sorts of other male family members to get that approval they need. The danger here is in things becoming sexual and depending on who she goes after, can become a situation of incest.
For you to say, "oh thats ik i dont care" will only encourage her to do it more and maybe try for more. It sends the wrong message if you are uncomfortable with it. This puts you in an awkward spot as a male. Yes its your sister but she's a female and nude, privately in a room with you, not a good scenerio, even if she's the one doing this and you ending up the victim, not instigating any of it. You need to let her know its not okay with you. Its one thing to be wearing skimpy clothes and look sexy. But its another to take ones clothes off in front of someone of the opposite sex, thats more along the lines of seduction. If she's doing that with a boyfriend, again, at her age, she's adult and its normal...but with her brother, No! If I guessed wrong and you're a sister, then perhaps she beleive she is lesbian and is wanting some female approval as to how desireable she is. Again, if it makes you uncomfortable, ask her to stop. If she doesnt in either scenerio, take it to the parents, Mom and Dad and let them know whats going on. You don't want to remain quiet about this, have her PMSing one day or pissed at you and decided to lie and tell the folks that you tried to seduce her, or egg you on to the point you get yourself caught in a strange position with her yelling to the parents for help and it looking like you attacking her sexually. Protect yourself and bring her behavior to their knowledge before she may go further with it.

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Ok, so my bestfriend from middleschool, we're both 16 and just graduated this year, is very close to me. He's like my brother, and we really do things like siblings. But of course, new schools means new friends, but we still get in touch. One day, he asked me if I'd like to watch the movies with him and his new schoolfriends, and I feel like i'm invading a forbidden space. Should I join them?

It is actually very natural for a person who when they make new friends through work or school or whereever out in life, will want to eventually introduce those people to anyone else with whom they are really close and had a history with before meeting the new friends.
You can see this situation working out in many contexts. Like for one, having a new sweetheart. You eventually want to show him off to the family, having them meet each other. Every time my daughters have had a new boyfriend, they want me to meet him. Until I found my 2nd husband, any major boyfriend I had, I wanted the kids to meet.
Then when having met and married 2nd husband, he comes with a history, of family and friends, ex girlfriends and an ex wife. I have met the ex, I have some of his childhood friend and a couple ex girlfriends as facebook friends and I have talked to people in his family out of state, and to some of his friends on the phone, all so they could get to know me in a way. It made my husband happy for the people of his past whom he's still close to, who are important to him, to have them get to know of me in some capacity, whether, meet in person, on facebook or chat on phone. So don't worry, you won't be intruding. You will be visiting and becoming part of a growing group of new people he cares about. If some of his buddies feel awkward cus they don't have a female friend or girlfriend around, that is their issue to get over. He wants to show you off to his friends and probably feels they will also benefit from meeting you and gaining some level of friendship with you also.

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hey! I have this guy best friend and him and I have feelings for each other and are really close. Lately, his car stopped working and he can't go anywhere and has to stay at home with his parents. He's talked about me coming over and seeing him but I rejected it. I really want to go over and surprise him but I'm not sure how to do it or what to expect. Any ideas?

Well, you might want to give a call to the parents before dropping by to make sure he's going to be at home or that they don't have other plans like having their own friends over. Let them know you feel badly about him not being able to see you cus of car not working and want to surprise him with a drop by visit. Guys are always happy with something to eat, as its been said the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. So when you have the all clear to go by, make sure you have baked him some cookies to take over and then just take them over and show up. If you don't bake, a store bought dessert works just as good. You don't have to have anything special planned to do once there or plans to go somewhere from there, just your presence is enough and while there the two of you can talk and decide how you want to spend your time.

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I used to love a guy n proposed him for 3times but he refused 1st 2times n accepted me the 3rd time.our families n frnz knoew abt us.his mother was extra friendly with me n my mom.on the other hans my parents didn't like them because of their lifestyle n status but they adjusted with them coz I loved that guy.in the beginning I was too naive to understand his mom's policies..she used to call my parents n me to complaint abt me n what have I done wrong n what shouldn't have I done..my parents never chased her son for anything..but then she started to put all the blames upon me for her son's alcoholism..the guy used to consume alcohol before even he knows me but his mom said I am the reason for which he gets hurt n compelled to drink..even when her son met accidents she accused me..whereas her son uaed to lie to me in every steps of life n she used to chase me even before my exam nights..they kept me literally in mental trauma when I was in hostel..every single day I used to cry due to them.all my hostelmates were annoyed with their behavior n saw my sufferings..but I didn't tell anything to my parents..but oneday his mom called me when I was in home n chased me..my mom saw me crying n I became sick so mom called that guy n questioned him for the 1st time for his deeds...but again we patched up n smoothly were in.relationship untill he again fought wid me for no reason n lied n consumed alcohol...then he sent massage to my dad n.asked for his help to rescue him.from.me n said him that I am mentally sick...my dad didn't bother n didn't reply..but next to.next day I patched up with him unknown to the fact of his msg...then we went on a vacation, got intimated n all..he still didn't tell me anything abt the msg..then I dscvrd the msg on my dad's mbl n.confronted my bf...he fought again.n.used slang abt my mom n insltd her...i also said him word insltng his mom (which I shouldn hv done)..nw his mom again.called me up n literally quarreled wid me n tld me tht she'll cmplnt against me n my mom to my dad for abusing n accusing her son whereas I was the victim so long n she insltd my mom over n over...bt I knw myself..i'll again try to patch up wid him after all these...coz I so love him n had sex so cant frgt him..what should I do?

You ask what you should do. Well, put your feelings of love aside for a moment.
Now, If you want this crazy 'merry go round' to continue as it has been going, then you don't have to do anything. I agree with the other advicegiver, they both sound crazy. Often, love will make us blind to the reality of what is going on, or if we can really see it, then what we do is, in our minds, make excuses for a persons behavior in order to justify staying with them. But it doesn't make any sense because staying and 'taking it' is not going to change him or his mom. By being accepting of this behavior, in a way, you are enabling them to continue to remain stuck. It also means you are choosing to settle for less, a way of subconsciously telling yourself that you can't find anyone better or don't deserve anyone better.

I can guess whats going on with them. He was probably normal at one time but being raised by a mom with severe mental illness stressed him out to the point he lost it too. He may have decided to rebel against Mom by doing and pulling the kind of stunts she does, and likely turned to drinking in order to numb the memories he has of her and life with her as mom. His drinking may be his try at finding a way to cope with the fact his Mom is ill and may or may not be aware or not willing to get help. As a coping mechanism, it is a very poor one and only causes problems for him. If he isn't also mentally ill himself, if normal, he had a chance to have a normal life by leaving Mom once he turned an adult at 18, and go on to lead a happy stable life following his dreams of school or vocation and finding his true love.
While in the state he's in, he isn't capable of having a normal relationship with you. All he knows of what a female is like is the example of his Mother growing up so he already has warped ideas of what a healthy interaction between 2 people is.
Don't you find it odd that of all things his mother would accuse you of, is being mentally ill, and blaming you for ruining her son. I used to be married to someone who it ended up, we discovered, had mental illness. That certainly explained his irratic and abusive behavior thru out marriage. I finally left. But while with him, this cycle repeated over and over. One thing a person who is mentally ill often does if they know somethings wrong with them deep down inside but are afraid of finding out for sure, if to do something called deflecting. Deflecting means the issues or problems they have, they will accuse others of having mostly always when its not true but in order to take attention and focus off of them for too long. The longer someone is looking at them and trying to figure them out, the more likely they feel of others discovering THEY are the ones with issues. So his Mom most likely is mentally ill. That kind of thing can be passed down in the family. Of 3 kids I had, one ended up depressed and from there, developed mental illness. This child has cut themselves off from all family, going into hiding due to some of the crazy thinking she is suffering through and no one knows where to find her to even attempt to help. Its a very sad situation when people with mental illness are not getting the medical intervention they require to lead normal lives.

Now you know why on their end, neither of them sound promising for having a normal relationship with. Mental illness from my experience gets worse as time goes on as seen in my ex and my child, it doesnt stay at a holding pattern or get better on its own...intreated.

Now one more thing you need to know is why you have found yourself wanting to, willing to go back to him and patch things up, why you still have love despite how you and your parents are being treated.
Heres the best way i can describe it. YOu have 2 minds, your conscious \awake mind and your subconscious/asleep mind. Its your conscious mind that looks at this and see it all as unhealthy and bad. The subconscious mind tho is where all our emotions come from. To help you understand this point, think of a sad movie you watched where you cried. Your conscious mind knew it was just a movie and those were just actors and not real but the story drew in your emotions and you cried. That was your subconscious mind. And the subconscious doesn't always make the best rational decisions especially when trying to operate on its own without cooperating with your conscious mind. Its goal is to make you happy and for some reason believes strongly that its job is to make sure you get everything you want and wish for, even if it isn't necessarily something good for you. So, the only thing holding you to staying with him is this feeling of love in your heart. If you can agree that the subconscious is forcing you to continue to have these such strong feelings of love to keep you stuck there, then basically, it will take forcing your subconscious to realize you don't like all the other stuff that goes along with the relationship and you want out. So, the way to get the attention of your subconscious is to consciously take over something it is responsible for like continously taking your next breath. Try holding your breath and then taking deep breaths, consciously alternating this while in your mind focusing on the thought, I want to talk to you, my subconscious. I have an important message. I know you want me to be happy. Right now I am not happy because I am in love with a guy who both him and Mom are crazy and not acting normal, its too much drama and I don't want that. So please listen to me. I do not want to go back to him. I know my heart will hurt for a bit. That's okay. I don't want you to panic and force me into going back to him. Its important for this to happen because there is no chance at this moment in time of that improving. It may in the future, it may not. But for right now, its not good for me or my parents.
Release me from caving in and going back. I want you to cooperate with me. I need time to get over my feelings of love for him. And I will in time, most every normal healthy person does So please cooperate.

YOu may feel silly talking to yourself or to your subconscious mind, as if there was another person inside you, like a split personality but I can assure you this is very real and it takes time to get your subconscious to learn to cooperate with you. It can be like an unruly child left to itself and its own wiles and it may not instantly change and cooperate so if you fail at times, it doesnt mean it won't ever work, it will, you just need to keep hammering your subconscious with your little speech in your own words of course but something to that effect. good luck dear. Its going to be hard. Once you feel you are stable and able to talk to him without caving in and going back to him, you might want to have a talk with him. Let him know if he's truly in love with you and wants you back, that he needs to make a clean break from drinking for one thing, join alcoholics anonymous, and also see a counselor because as the child of someone like his mother, he has grown up traumatized and twisted in his perception of what is normal behavior. If he does both things, and you see an improvement in him, only then would you consider taking him back, if he or you haven't found someone else by then. This isn't an overnight change you're asking of him. He needs at the very least a full year of successful with a counselor and AA before you should even consider him again. Good luck dear in making your decision.

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how to tell if a girl like you or not?

I am going to first play semantics and explain how I interpret the meaning of the word,"like; in this situation before i give my answer.

It is hard to know if you like an odd flavor of icecream, like licorice or coconut until you are more familiar with it, from trying it out.
Same for relationships. THE stage you are talking about is one where you really know very little about the person, not enough to know in the long term if you will actually really like the person once you get to know more about them and experience spending time with them.

So rather, I call this stage, "Attraction". So what you really want to know is if a girl is attracted to you. Does she like your looks? Does she like some surface level things she can pick up from observing you at school for example like, does she like how you smile, your laugh, your self confidence, how you carry yourself. Beyond that, there isn't enough to know if two people will really get along until they hang out together or date. I also call initial dating the info gathering stage, same as hanging out. Once sure you want to be with this person, then comes the commitment of asking each other to be bf/gf.

So now, how to know if she is attracted to you:

She can be caught looking in your direction often, ending up staring at you.
She smiles at you alot. She may even say at least Hi when she sees you but not greet other guys with a Hi or stare at them. Maybe she's more brave and approaches you to talk to you. Think about it, why would she risk approaching often a guy whom she doesnt find attractive only to give him the impression that she likes him so he starts pursueing her? She won't do that. Neither do guys. So if they are willing to seek you out to talk to you on a constant basis, it's guaranteed they find you attractive.
If she's not making a move towards you, how does she respond when you approach her first? A good thing to look for is subconscious body reacions, body language. If you approach to stand close enough that you could lift your hand and be able to touch her arm or shoulder, you are in her personal space. When its someone welcome a person remains in place or may move a little closer to you. If its a person someone doesnt like or isnt attracted to, they will subconsciously back away a step or two to recreate that space between them selves and the other person. Another positive body language is when a person leans towards you when speaking in conversation. A person is really comfortable if able to use their hands as they talk, perhaps touching in innocent way. Or another thing people do but aren't aware they are doing is if comfortable with and really interested in the other person, they will begin to ape, mimic the other persons movements to some extent. If you reach up to scratch your head, she'll reach up to scratch, pat her hair in place or tuck a strand behind her ear. If you move the position of your legs while sitting, she'll do the same and move her legs, sometimes to the exact position you put yours in.
Flirting is also important in gauging the other persons response is they will accept your approach and conversation. read the posted link for teen help on how to flirt.

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-%28for-Teens%29

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