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Dating my sister


Question Posted Monday July 20 2015, 4:06 pm

We're 14, dating for over 2 years, madly in love, fairly open about our love to. At least for someone in this situation.

I find it sad that us being related makes people sick that we love eachother, I guess I just came here to seek some approval

We cuddle, kiss, go out to dates, everything a regular couple does.



The part no one except my best friend and our other sister really knows about is that yes we have had sex before. A quite a few times. I'd imagine that'll be a turn off point for most people reading this.

We cuddle, kiss, go out to dates, everything a regular couple does.

The part no one except my best friend and our other sister really knows about is that yes we have had sex before. A quite a few times. I'd imagine that'll be a turn off point for most people reading this.


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Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday July 21 2015, 3:05 pm:
I can see you got lots of responses.
I am the skeptical type at times, and have to be as in the past, people have written in with incredible stories, the kind that would provoke a response from the general public, and especially advicegivers.
You did not ask a specific question...just telling us of what you are supposedly doing. this could be for real, in which case, you've already gotten your answers, or it could be something else.

If you are not in that kind of situation with a sister, and this is a made up story, then read on.

Some people have personalities, even certain sun sign types, who generally are the kind who like being in the lime-light, the center of attention, the one to instigate a big drama, or event for all the power and satisfaction it delivers them. Some may have other things contributing to this kind of attention getting behavior. If this is a story to get people riled up, I would suggest you stop a moment and ask yourself why..why you are doing this? Apparently, there is something missing in your life, or you have a need that is going unfulfilled and you are resorting to this as a way to fulfill it. I don't know you or your circumstances, but I had a mentally ill ex, and I have one daughter who is too. I know personally know plenty people with thought patterns that tend to be on the negative side most times and is what compells them to make choices in life that don't really help them go any where in life, at least, not to get or accomplish what they want... And they are not mentally ill, but are still being held back or unhappy or feel something missing in life. A counselor can help a person sort through to discover what it is that you really need in life and find a venue into which you can channel your energies in a more positive way that fulfills your need. Again, I dont really know you, don't mean to sound mean, but if this is your round about way to ask for help, I am just letting u know, I heard you. And I hope you do whatever necessary to be happy and have a fruitful satisfying life. I still would recommend seeing at least a life coach, or a counselor. I myself have done so in the past during a hard period of my life and it does help.

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday July 21 2015, 9:51 am:
I'm not disgusted or turned off by what you have written. What I am is concerned for the legal problems you two have set yourself up for. The moral problems are between the two of you and of no one’s concerns but your and at your age your parents.

The legal problem is the fact that incest, having sex with immediate family this includes first cousins, is illegal in every state in this country and just about every developed country in the western world.

The reason is the mixing of similar genes in creating another life causes a great many birth defects. This was seen way back in history. It was not understood why this happened but they saw that children resulting from people of the same families had children with these birth defects. The corrective action was to outlaw incest and most all religions made incest a sin.

That is the legal aspect. Now the fact that you two are both 14 tells me you are either twins or step brother and sister. If you are twins it is normal for you two to be closer than most siblings after all you started out together, maybe even sharing the same egg. Though having sex at 14 is wrong and I think you know that. Regardless of the fact you may be twins sexual intercourse for any teenager at your age is wrong. Neither of you are mature enough to handle the possible consequences of your actions.

I'm only adding the following as you need to know this; not as permission to continue to have sex. If you are step brother and sister then there is no incest taking place. You may be as close as brother and sisters and your parents may have adopted each of you. What is not present between you is a similar gene pool. Absent a similar gene pool there is no incest and your sister may as well be the girl next door. What you need to do now is to wait a few years and if your feelings have not changed then you can decide if you want to make a life commitment to each other.

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rainhorse68 answered Tuesday July 21 2015, 5:01 am:
Hi there. I'm not sickened or turned-off. There are sound medical/genetic reasons why brothers and sisters should not have children together. Breeding with blood-relatives has never been a good idea, long before we understood gene-pools, or even knew waht genes were. When it comes to purely recreational and safe (I sincerely hope you have been taking precautions!) sex it's harder to give a sound and reasoned argument why you shouldn't do it. It's simply one of those things we 'don't do'. If you want a definitive reason 'why not?' I haven't got one I'm afraid. Which is a bit of a cop-out I guess. Just saying 'You don't because you don't'. Maybe we could say that as humans we're social creatures. We have a complex structure of protocols and behaviour and conventions. And society decrees that we don't do it. That's why the 'voice in your head' is telling you to keep it dark, and leading you to expect a condemnation in reply to your question. Now, at 14 it's usual to have plenty of sexual urges, but they are often rather indiscrimnate with their choice of target. I would suggest that you look at it from this angle. It was a bit of sexual experimentation and trial which is just not appropriate given your family relationship. Nobody has died or anything. No real harm done at all in fact, yet. But act to make an end to it right now. Nobody will ever be sickened about a guy loving his sister. I love mine very much. But it's not love to be felt, expressed and realised sexually. That sort of love is for people we are not related to.

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missundersmock answered Tuesday July 21 2015, 1:36 am:
First let me just get this out. OMFG.


WOWWWWWWW.....ok, taking a deep breath now.


Ok, lets take this apart a little. Dont you think your KIND OF taking advantage of her? i mean even if this wasnt completely wrong, shes still very young and probably doesnt know where she stands yet on her sexual views and i think thats what is bothering me here more than anything else.....you need to think about what your doing here with her because it effects you both on all sorts of different levels mentally then i think your realizing.

your both very young right now, your bodies are both still going through changes, and sometimes this can result in youngsters kind of "experimenting" with each other, and thats natural but to do it with your sibling IS NOT.

I think the lines here have been so blurred between sibling love, teen lust, and hormonal changes happening that this is what things have come to, and she was there right in front of you so she would have been the obvious target (even if you didnt mean it) because shes of the opposite sex.

You need to think about what you could be doing to her mentally. your her older brother ok, surely that means that she looks up to you, to guide her, to protect her, and here you are not only NOT doing those things but your the cause. Your risking damaging her as a person later down the road in life when ever and if ever she should snap out of this whole "its ok to date my brother" thing and feel so shamed that she does something awful like kill herself as an adult.

Whats going to happen if and when things dont work out and she finds a REAL boyfriend who shes not related to and then he learns of this and reacts badly? leaves her over it because its disgusting, or makes her realize that what happened was wrong and that as her older brother you took advantage of her??

What happens when theres family events in the future and shes so ashamed that she cant show her face and never wants to see you again?? do you understand where im coming from on this??

take some time and really reflect and think about all this ok, because i think in the long run you will understand what type of damage doing something like this will do not only to you, your sister, and your family should they ever learn of it, but anyone that any of you should ever meet and tell this kinda thing too.

Do you really wanna carry such a big dark secret around on your shoulders for the rest of your life because you made one bad choice as a youngster? you cant turn back time here and make it all go away. Your clearly here looking for some answers and thats what we are here to do for you so clearly you know its not ok.

no one is going to bite your head off but we are here to guide you in the right direction.

stop, think, reflect, and do what you already know is the right thing to do here. you can still stop all this while your young and be able to look back and call it just a stupid mistake. do it now while your still can.....

good luck.

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OpenMinded answered Tuesday July 21 2015, 12:52 am:
I honestly see nothing wrong with incest. You are both happy with each other, nothing wrong with that. As long as you are safe, feel free to have sex as much as you want, as the only problem with incest is that any children you produce are at higher risk for disabilities and other problems. So have fun, but I would not recommend having children together. Hope you two have a nice life together.

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Ocalaphernella answered Monday July 20 2015, 9:54 pm:
Y'all need JESUS

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