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I don't know what my own feelings are(kind of long, sorry)
I'm a 15 year old girl. I've liked, or at least I thought I did, this guy for a couple years now. He also happens to be my best friend along with his younger sister. He's confronted me twice about liking him and I turn him down each time, even though I do like him. But there's also this boy at church and we've become really good friends, possibly more. We tease each other and he makes me feel giddy inside. But so does my best friend.. Could someone please explain this to me? I'm so confused.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
In our teens, females have a need to be noticed by males and in a positive way, affirmed as being a normal pretty female. We either consciously seek to fill that need, or more often, subconsciously. So it may be entirely so, that you are enjoying have confirmation of this sort from more than one. It doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with whether you have any romantic stirring to either one. So, its' normal to enjoy attention from several guys.
As for what feelings you may develop, and 'liking' a person, I will share what my interpretation of 'liking' a guy is to me and it may help you in being able to know and then express or confirm/deny any existance of interest or liking.
When I like someone, I've gone beyond the attraction stage of seeing someone, where I am liking their appearance, liking some surface level things I can pick up by just observing them. But i Don't know enough about them yet to know if I will like their personality and if I have things in common with them. This applies in many ways to other types of relationships besides bf/gf. How about your girlfriends? Maybe you weren't attracted to approach and befriend girls who dressed like geeks, or goths. Maybe once you thought you saw someone friendly, confident and outgoing, you wanted to spend a little time with her to get to know her better to see if you had enough in common to become close friends.
Its the same with guys dear. In the end, the guy you end up spending the rest of your life with, raising kids with, is going to need to be your bestest friend and also have the romantic chemistry with you. At your age, you're just starting to learn what you like and don't like and its a process of going thru several relationships, learning with each one to reach for a relationship a step better than the last one, each time until you've found the one you want to be with, and he with you for life long.
Right now you're in the exploring stage. You know you are attracted for particular reasons to each one. There is a stage just before the dating one where one makes a commitment of sorts like being bf/gf. It is still dating, or call it hanging out with the person, but this is the info gathering stage, during which you gather more information on a person, or it may be on 2 or 3 interested in you at the same time. It is okay to see several at a time as long as you make it clear to all males concerned that you are doing so in order to decide which one you will chose to make a commitment to, thats assuming all the males involved want to make a commitment to you. Guys can handle this type of exploratory dating without being jealous as they often do the same without realizing it. this stage is where many girls get their hearts broke thinking that because a guy asks her out (info gathering stage) that it means he has made some kind of commitment to her when that is not so.
So it depends on how you feel about the guy you've known a couple years. You've been around him enough I would hope to know him really well by now, enough to know if he's worth considering or not, based on whether there is any romantic spark. Sometimes with a best friend who is of the opposite sex, the romance part doesnt alway hit you like the explosion of dynamite in the beginning, but starts as an ember, grows to a coal, begins to spurt into a small flame that slowly grows with time to become that same raging fire as you were hit by with someone else right at first meeting or early on. This is also normal and either way can end up being equally true romantic attractions and good chemistry.
So when your best friend asks if you like him, be honest, don't deny anything. Just explain the best you can, that indeed you do like him, always have as your best friend. You believe you may even be going beyond that but at your age with no previous experience in such matters, you aren't totally sure so you don't want him to get his hopes up. You'd be open to checking out how that part of the relationship might go but theres someone else you equally like at this stage and aren't sure about yet. You need time to check out both of them before deciding which guy you will choose to have for your boyfriend or first real boyfriend. If you talk like this it shows the males that you are the one in control and deciding who you will date rather than wait around desperately waiting for a guy to ask you out. You decide which ones sound like good possibilitys, explore further, then make a decision. Even so, in time we may find our decision of a boyfriend, or even marriage partner wasn't the best. the point at which you realize this, is the time to break up, move on, and seek to imrove with your next choice of a sweetheart.
I hope this helps give you the confidence to enjoy exploring the friendship and maybe more with both of them. Just be open and honest about it with both. If you ever run across a guy who acts jealous that another guys likes you or that you are attracted to another at any time before you and he have made commitments to each other, then run like hell from him cus he's insecure, has low self confidence and self image as a male and is just a control freak waiting to happen. That kind of guy makes the worst possible partner and consider a jealous guy, a potentional problems quickly weeded out from among your choices. Good luck dear.
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