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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Hello, so we have a ferret and I am highly allergic and suffer from asthma,fur from the ferret makes it worse. Even though there is a ferret cage outside and they are capable of living outside my mum still brings it inside during the nights when my asthma gets bad. It's placed in the living room where I am usually sat. Do you think my mum should put my health first?

I stayed for a short while with a family who had 3 cats and two guinea pigs. The pet dander was bad enough, but most the time they couldn't afford to change the litter for cats and pigs often enough and that odor on top of it made my very ill. I had respiratory colds all the time I was there and it didn't clear until I left. There were children in the home who had constant runny noses and the mother just didn't get it that the environment was making the kids sick. they didn't even have allergies. So I can imagine what its like for you. Your mum may need to wait until you go out on your own, leaving the house. In meanwhile, a talk with her about it would be good. If she won't listen, talk to other relatives and find a way to get in to see an allergist. Get tested if you haven't been already. Or mention to Dr. that Mom got a ferret now and your allergies are worse since then. Get tested for ferret allergy if there is such a test or have the Dr. talk to your Mom and recommend keeping ferret out of the house. YOur health should come first. this would mean she'd need to find another home for the ferret with a family who isnt allergic to it.

I'm turning sixteen on October 13th and I want it to be a day to remember, but my parents don't have a lot of money.

I'm not sure what I want to do, last year I took 3 friends to a pumpkin patch (where we screwed around and raised havoc in the corn maze) but this year, I want to do something fun that we'll hopefully all enjoy.

I'm taking my best friend to a Twenty one Pilots concert -10/21- which is $50 already down the drain.. And I want to go to the zoo to see the goats. (They're my favorite animals.)

Anyway, I'm taking three friends, three 16 year olds and one 15 year old. We all love doctor who,and supernatural.. So I was thinking I could have my awesome artist brother make a tardis cake, (should be easy for him) and maybe just hang out with them??

I don't know, I just want to do something fun! Any suggestions??

P.s. This is before I start college and have to buckle down and study for my SAT, and other things.. So that's why I want to have fun.

Sounds like you have lots of good ideas already. Perhaps a cake decorated to represent something from Doctor Who or Supernatural might be a nice touch. If you all can scrounge up stuff at 2nd hand stores to dress as Dr Who characters and wear to the zoo, that'd be fun. Whatever you do, you might want to have each other filming the rest of you goofing around having fun. Have a friend who's good at putting bits and pieces of recorded movie bits together to make a lasting memory of your sweet 16 party.

I have decided to elope with my long term boyfriend within the next year or two. I do not have a good relationship with my family (I was physically abused most of my childhood), I do not have money for a huge wedding and I also am more on the shy side, so eloping seemed like a good option. However, I knew from the get go that my dad would be upset if I eloped. So, in an effort to help my dad adjust to the idea, I told him in advance that we are planning on eloping. I also explained that I don't enjoy being around the family anyway because of what went on in the past, that weddings seem too expensive to me and that I would prefer something quiet. This was a huge mistake. I wish I had just kept it quiet like you are supposed to when you elope. My dad did not adjust to the idea over time. Instead, he has been fighting with me for a full year over my plans to elope. He tells me that I am the reason the family doesn't get along and that I will make things even worse by eloping. In particular, constantly hearing that my dad thinks I am a drama queen for still being upset over being abused in the past is hard. I regret telling him that my family issues played any part in my decision to elope because now he won't let it go. I cat turn back the clock on what I said to him, although I wish I could...But what can I say to diffuse this situation the next time my dad brings this up? What do I say when tells me not to elope and that I have to invite my family to the wedding because he believes that I should be "over" my abuse already? It's hurtful and I don't want to be having these conversations

Oh hon, first I am so sorry to hear of your abusive childhood and the lack of love towards you.
I can't say how in the plan of life this fits in, but I do know from people I know, including myself, who have had to deal with some really bad life situations, that theres plenty opportunity for it to change and refine a people into an even more beautiful person, whereas those who dont come up against any pressure, tend to lack opportunity to become stronger and gain some personal growth.

If you are an adult, 18 or older, I am wondering why you are still staying in a home where you are not loved and still blamed for everything and told what you are supposed to be, do and how you should feel. That is not healthy. I know from experience being in a life situation thats not healthy, mine was marriage to a man who was verbally abusive and I didn't leave cus of our kids. I finally left after 30 yrs. So I can tell you a whole lot on how the stress of staying will affect you in ways you may not have thougt of. I stayed stable emotionally but the stress needed to go somewhere and so it affected my physical health, body rashes caused by stress, migraines from stress and stomach ulcers from stress to mention a few.
So hon, I am not going to tell you what to say next time to any family member because ofviously, you've been trying to use logic with dad for example and have found that what you did in telling him did not work as it might have on a normal health person mentally. There is something very wrong with both dad and mom, and may be differing issues they struggle with, but again, from my experience, I always tried logic in talking with my ex, but it never worked and things only got worse and he got angrier and more upset with me for not caving in to his demands. I learned in our last years that he had mental illness. Not bad enough to be noticeable. Many have a light enough case of it so they can get by in society without anyone suspecting and the only place it becomes obvious is with any people that become close to them, best friends, spouses, children, cus a person can't hide that part of them and keep it bottled up 24/7, they need a release valve and unfortunately they choose to release their toxic filth upon those closest to them whom they should be loving and protecting instead.
I can't say its mental illness or whether one or both parents have kept hidden their own traumatic childhood and are simply repeating what they experienced, but either way, they are not in a frame of mind to be able to listen to any reasoing from you. It will be a waste of breath and you will still be stressed and unhappy.

So now, the question is why you are waiting to move out from there? I am guessing financial. At the rate the economy is going and how hard I see it is for the average already established couple to afford a place to rent and pay for the bare minimum of basic needs, I know that is always going to be the biggest reason not to find a way to leave. I know you dont want to stay, and not looking for more torture, so if there is any reason why the two of you can't begin living together, find a way to solve that issue. If financial, then find another young employed couple who cant afford an apt on their own and rent a 2 bedroom together. Maybe one of you have a cousin who'd love to get a place to rent together to save up money.
I am guessing here as I dont know why you've put off eloping. If it's a belief that you must be married before living together, look at it this way, how is that belief going to protect you from further hurt from family. YOu as an adult need to live life for yourself and all decisions are yours to make. Your family lost their privileges to be a part of your life and a part of your wedding long ago. Yes, there's always a possibility of change in a person but the truth is that few people make big enough improving changes in their lifetime so that they become someone liveable with. I may have suggestions on how to get out sooner if I knew more the scope of why you havent left yet. Hope this helps you some, would like to help more but I dont know enough to really help more.

I have an elder sister who thinks that all of us in the sense my mother, my father and me hate her. She always thinks that my mother always shows partiality towards me and doesn't care for her at all when she does. All of a sudden
My sister acts kind of weird like a sadist and starts cursing my mom harassing all of us. She thinks that I am the reason behind all of her problems. she makes me want to feel like I ruined her life by being born. We can just find out how annoyed she is of me being in her life through her actions. I just want to die and forget that I was ever born in this family. Please someone help me out. And by the way I me and my sister are studious and dont want our studies to get disturbed. If anyone helps me in solving this issue I owe them big time!! I am a female and am 15 years old and my sister is 17

As already suggested, you could talk to her and find out if she can explain in some valid reasons why she is acting as she does towards you and thinks the whole family hates her. Are your parents aware of her feeling they hate her? If Mom doesnt know, you might want to tell her.
You did mention the phrase 'all of a sudden', and I wonder if you're using it as a way to express how quickly her moods switch back and forth of if its more about her having always had a pretty good personality and all of this is fairly new behavior that came on all of a sudden.

If there is a time you can remember when her personality was much nicer, and it was before she started puberty or getting her first period, it could be related to her hormones. Most girls will find their emotions out of control when hormones hit and for some it may take a few years to add up. Females get extra sad and weepy but at worst, depressed and suicidal if out of balance on hormones. Or we get easily irritated at silly things, or get angry, some become wild and out of control. If angry, females having problems caused by their hormone levels will more often than not pick on the closest females to them which is usually a sibling, mother or best friend. My 3 daughters are 3 yrs apart so when teens I'd have one hormoning at 14 and the other still hormoning at 17 and they'd be fighting like cats and dogs all the time. Its important for the whole family to have a talk and realize that both of you are going thru this emotional time and Mom may want to keep closer tabs on both of you. Its possible your sis may have an overload of hormones but its something a Dr. can test for and treat with medication for the teen years until her body matures and the hormones level out on their own. Its certainly worth looking into to have peace in the family. I would suggest you let Mom see my response. I have read articles about this online and remember one Mother mentioning how glad she was that she took her daughter to the Dr. The girl had an overload of hormones that turned her into a mean creature no one in the family had recognized anymore. Once she got her medicine, she became her old self again. It is that mothers grateful story that has me passing on this piece of information as it can not only bring peace to the family again but it can be a life saver. too many teen girls with out of control hormones develop extreme depression and kill themselves and that is such a sad thing when it could all have been avoided by a Dr. visit.
I am glad you wrote in dear. I know all people have habits that can bug and irritate others in a family but her responses are a bit over the top for that. Its important to learn some self control when it comes to our emotions but in the case of hormone overload, your sister is totally helpless and wont know the difference until after a Dr has treated her. So on second thought, you may want to skip approaching sis and asking her what is bugging her because she really may not have a clue and just say "Everything!!" Tell your Mom what I wrote or show this to her. I do hope you get her checked out because hormone overload is a real problem in todays time as we live in a world where we pick up the female estrogen hormones in synthetic varieties through all the things we come into contact with. So by time a girl reaches puberty, her body is already filled with a large amount of these hormones. So when the body starts releasing her own hormones on top of that, you get an overload. Some girls are experiencing this at 14, 15 and some as they get older. Good luck dear.

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. Why does my boyfriend always play video games with his friends when I'm over. I realize he has friends. But why can't me and him just spend time together. Everytime I come over, his friends will ask him to play a game (He talks to them on Skype while playing)(PC). Sometimes he'll ask me if he's allowed to play because we've got into before about this and I'll tell him to do whatever he wants. If I say no he's gonna do it anyway just like any typical man. What am I supposed to do while plays. I can't watch TV because his desk is right beside it (his body is in front of it) plus he talks. He wants me to watch him play,come on now. Sometimes when I try to talk to him he won't even hear me because of his headphones. Am I making this a big deal? I just feel like that's a nice line between friend time and girlfriend time. He just doesn't see the line.

When it comes to relationships, we are like tender seedlings that need lots of tender loving care to grow. The list of things that could distract a person from giving enough attention to their mate or bf/gf, is vast. Those things in themselves may not be a bad thing but whats missing is balance. When there is balance, all your needs for interaction, attention, quality time spent together are taken care of.
I assume you love him. The question well may be whether he really loves you. People show love in 5 basic ways: Words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. If he's failing in all or most of those areas, you may want to question why you're with him since he may not care now, even if he once did.
If going to his place is the problem, tell him you are no longer going to his place to spend time with him because you are not into watching him play games, you want to relate with him cus thats what a relationship means, relating, not absorbed by gaming. If he wants to spend time with you, it should be at your place or get him to go with you to events in the city, a concert, the fair, a bike ride, for walks. Make a rule to use cells only for emergency use, like one of you needs an ambulance, otherwise, turn the phones off or just dont look at them.
If he wont go for it and all you can do is see him at his place, then
find a time when his friends aren't over to have a talk with him about this, find out if his feelings for you have changed, if not...then let him know that he is neglecting the relationship because any time that you are in the same room with him, he doesn't have conversation with you and compliment and encourage, he doesnt touch you, giving loving and intimate touches to show his continued desire in you and wanting to please you giving love and sexual contact, he doesnt do random acts of serving like offering to do something for you that you could easily do yourself like fetch you a drink from the fridge, open doors for you like a gentleman, I think you get the picture. Right now, it sounds like you're getting about as much relationship with him in person as you would with a framed photo of him sitting on a shelf at home.

Hello,I've been in a long distance relationship for quite some time now,as of a week ago,I didnt hear from my guy,due to some personal problems and his dad being in the hospital. Below,I have written the text message he sent me:

''Dear___ ,So it's been long enough and I think you deserve an explanation for my absence.I've been drifting apart. mostly because I dont know what I'm doing right now.I need to get my life back on point and I just cant rely on you right now.And when I say rely on you,I mean for you to be okay with whatever life we would live together.There's a dream and then there is reality and right now its looking difficult for me becauseI cant seem to find a stable job.But Ive made a commitment from today and from nowIm going to change my a lot of my ways.And I cant keep this long distance relationship thing with us going anymore.No more photos,no more videos or anything like that.I really need to focus on my life right now instead of our life.I definately think we can work in the future but right now I need to focus on myself sincerely from the depths of my heart.I feel like part of the stress that put my dad in the hospital is my fault.I'll talk to you soon.''

So,essentially,I have different scenarios.
Either Im being let down easy,and this is my chance to exit.
Or,he wants me to wait for him to get his life together
Or he is calling it off but gave me a little hope while he runs away
Or he really means what he says.
Im very confused,first he cuts ties,and then says,yeah,we have a future.... Its confusing....
Its hard,its very very very hard,and I just want to know what to do.I love him dearly,I love his family so much.
He is struggling with jobs,and he wants a stable one,so he can get a place for us to move in together....
Thank you in advance for your advice

Part of growing together as a couple, especially those commitments like marriage or any life long relationship without a license, is to trust each other and openly share your troubles. The unique thing about a healthy relationship is that when one is weak, the other is strong. I find that in my marriage. One of us is feeling irritated or overwhelmed and stressed by life situations where the same stuff isn't getting to the other one and we are able to help calm the other, or at the very least give our mate the one thing that is right in our lives and not going away, the fact we are committed and love each other and will stick there through thick and thin.

LDR's have several things that automatically make them trouble situations, that dont work well and one is that its impossible to really build trust with someone you've never met in person first and spent a good amount of time getting to know and trust before the need for an LDR like the gal whose guy goes into the military.

So you might try explaining this angle to him and see if he feels you are his anchor, his sheltering cove during a storm, because if he can't see you as that, cus right now, he's not allowing you to be, then you are not the right one for him.

Its during the hard times that we can learn the true fiber and strength of a person character and who they are deep at their core. If things got better and he got together with you...with the way he's acting right now, the next hardship that comes along, he'd be pushing you away again, even if you were married and had kids. This is who he is. People do not change much in a lifetime for the better, its always little tiny stuff that won't help a relationship stay glued together.There is no perfect time financially to start a relationship or have children for that matter. My ex resisted having kids for 6 yrs before a pastor spoke to him in a sermon that had him willing to start a family, even tho after 6 yrs. we were still in no better a position to have kids. If a person is looking for excuses, they can easily find them or make them up in their mind as your boyfriend seems to be doing.

Using my ex for example, excuses were: we don't own a home yet, we only have one car, we dont earn enough to pay for their food, clothes, diapers. And yes, that was true but somehow we always made it through. An older neighbor upstairs gave us the crib her kids had used, we received lots of 2nd hand clothes from friends, used church food bank, he got laid off often during the downsizing epidemic, worked temp and I had to take on jobs I could do from home, phone calling for donation pick up before companies went automated for one.... and somehow we always ended up solving each financial crisis as it reared its head, in between the times when we were making ends meet. But its been a never ending battle. I am remarried and the husband and I have had our good financial times and right now are in a hard one, homeless, but the bright spot is that we have each other by our sides, the one anchor we know we can rely on, the bright spot that helps us to continue to want to face each day and struggle on as we face all of lifes' storms. If he isn't that kind of person who is looking for his true love who will also be his anchor in life, and there's no way to know if he will ever reach that spot of being that kind of guy and ready for a mate in his life, then any time you give him hoping for that with him, is a waste. Now if he were nothing more than a pen pal, a friend, while you were dating a man with promise in your real face to face life, then theres nothing wrong with working at keeping in touch with him. He has said more to the effect that he wants to cut it off. He isn't being specific with details, just generalizations so he's leaving it vague enough to be able to tell you that you must have misunderstood him that its over and he's breaking up, but he is too chicken to even make a firm real stand and just stay with you or break up. You don't want a wishy washy guy who runs at any hint of troubles and is someone you can't rely on or trust. Best to tell him that he is not ready for a relationship with any female if he isn't ready for unconditional love relationship. He is still looking at the conditions...I can only be with you if...... and that is someone who isn't ready and you don't need to wait your entire life hoping he will somehow magically become ready just because he's older. Older doesnt always means wiser and more life experienced. Some never learn or change.
Its your life. If you want a real guy and a real commitment, then dump him and if you don't mind wishy washy with an on again off again relationship, then stay with him.

16\f

Okay so I'm on the pill (the 28 day pack) to help control my periods because they used to be really heavy and I normally get my period on the Wednesday before I would normally start my new pack. I'm literally about to start my new pack but my period isn't here? Like I think it started but there's barely any blood yet I'm bloated. And I haven't missed any pills this month, I take it at the same time each day and I haven't had intercourse so is there something wrong with me?

Along the line of stress as a delay or not having a period on pill, theres many ways a females body could be stressed, work, school stress, even illness is stressful to the body or a chronic problem or attack like a bad allergy attack can have the same stress attack as an illness, worrying too much can do it too.

If none of that applies, the females you attend school with may be the cause of it not being there on time. See, females of all age, let off an One of the weird things this does is make any females of menstruating age who see and spend time together on a daily basis, have their cycles start to change to they can all be in sync, the end result of all having their periods at the same time. As soon as too many people had stress or illness change theirs, yours will again change a bit to match theirs. I worked in a office of women and we all ended up having our periods at the same time. In order for your body to change its regular time to meet the cycles of other women,it needs to start sooner than usual, later than usual or if in the case of you being on the pill and having only that small window of time for it to come, it skips altogether and will likely regulate to start next month. It also may be that once you've been on the pill longer, your body will learn to react more to the alloted time for period while on the pill than reacting to other females hormones.

So I am a 12 year old female, i have small breasts in training bra, i also just started growing pubic hair, needing deodorant, didn't hit growth spurt or period, etc. Most my friends are the same, or even less developed, but I have this friend who is in a b-cup, has had several periods since she was 8. So she was born in Febuary, she is literally 5 months older than me, and she is 12, she acts like she's a teenager and older than everybody, and is superior. I mean, YOU ARE NOT TURNING 13 UNTIL NEXT YEAR! YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING GODESS! And if that couldn't be bad enough, she thinks her boobs give her some super power. Like I was talking to her and I commented on how much my stomach was cramping and my mom said she thinks I'll get my period this month, and then cracked a joke about it. So of course she had to give her 50¢,"oh, but you're not going through puberty! Only IIIIMMMMM going through puberty." I mean, what the actual fuck. Every girl and boy goes through puberty at some point, you are not a special case because you got your tits in 1st grade (I'm literally not fucking joking, I can't remember a time she didn't have tits). She thinks she knows everything because she's "almost a teenager". Yeah, good for you. You dated guy, broke up with him, dated his friend, broke up with him, your first ex told you to date him again, you said no, he threatened to tell everybody she's ugly, so she dated him again for a few months, broke up with him, claiming she was " forced" i mean, anyone could see if you are ugly or not by looking at you, some freak doesn't have to tell them. Not to mention both of them were autistic fucks who fail every subject and got in serious trouble with the law several times, but nope she knows more because she's "a teenager" another thing, we were on each other's Spotify playlists, and I explained the genres i had (emo, screamo, alternative rock, punk, indie) and she moved away like I had the bubonic plague, and was all, "ohmygod...i listen to teen pop, because I'm like,a teenager and that's what teens listen to" and she is constantly bugging me on my choice of music, dress, etc... Also when she talks, she screams with her face in yours. And she ALWAYS brags about being good at gymnastics (never took any lessons, and the only thing she can do is a split) i remember in the 3rd grade me and another friend almost got rid of her when she made a club and kept making us do stuff in order to get in it, after test #192933722902928373738290000 we quit and made our own club, she threw a hissy fit saying clubs are stupid, cried, and went home and had her dad call my dad. She is a dumb fuck, how do i get her out of the group without murder?

Sounds like you associate enough with her for her to consider you her friend. She likely doesnt have any real true friends as no one likes being around someone who acts like that.
Why does she act that way? Most likely due to having a very low self esteem. Even adults can and will do the same thing, latching on to any pitiful poor excuse of information to use around others to boost their self image by bragging about. Or, if they can't find a good enough reason to boast about, they will make up totally false stuff about everyone else to put them down.
She doesnt feel important or valid or loved as a person and theres a possibility it might be connected to her family life. She may not have been mistreated, but just didn't get enough love and proper attention and quality time with her parents and other relatives. I remember the 'club' stage when I was around your age. I even started an acting club in my neighborhood when I was a teen, for the kids who were my youngest sisters age. i wrote the plays, loved doing costuming, and we put on lots of backyard plays where all the parents attended. I wasnt making a club to gain friends my age and feel better about myself. Her reaction to someone doing the same thing as she did is another clue she has some self image issues. Since she started puberty so much earlier, she may also not be in control of herself. Its a possibility that hormones being not in balance, mainly an overload, are responsible for her currant behavior. Lots of teen girls today suffer from it. They pick up the female synthetic version of hormones just from living in our environment and when puberty hits and the girls body starts to release its own hormones, they end up on overload. This will create major depression and self harming or suicidal tendencies, major anger problems or parent will notice a complete change in her personality. It doesnt necessarily hit the same time as boobs become visible or a period starts but can become an issue a year or two later as the levels of hormones build up to extreme amounts. This is a situation in which a doctor is needed to prescribe medication to equalize those levels. If this is the case, she should become a more pleasant person once on the medication.
I take the time to point this out as there may be a reason totally out of her control for her being like this. It will take a drs appt for her to get this figured out whether its the issue or she might be a good candidate for some counseling until she learns how to have a healthy self image again. Yes, teens often suffer easily from low self confidence and self esteem issues that eventually go away on their own as they grow up and mature. But that doesnt happen for all. You might mention my concerns of the medical issue thing to your parents and if they are close to her parents or know them and feel comfortable saying anything..... other than that, she's likely to continue this behavior for quite a long time...like years. If you think she's make a fine friend if not for these problems of hers, have a good private talk with her, let her know that you would like to remain friends but there are things she does that drive you away from her. I know she does it to everyone but its for the others to let her know what personally they do not like. You let her know that you think there might e reasons why she acts like she does and you need to know if she has problems at home. Are the parents too busy to pay any attention to her or perhaps they totally cave in and give her everything she wants, in which case she rules the house, not her parents, by the fact she was able to get her dad to call your dad over the issue of your making your own club in which she wasn't welcome. In this case, the problem again would be the parents. Let her know she doesnt have to be first, or better than anyone else or be the one in control or who rules over others to be liked. All she needs to be is nice and pleasant and treat others the way she'd like to be treated. SO if she tries saying nice things and complimenting you instead of cutting you down or boasting that she's better at whatever, then you might enjoy being around her. Let her know if you have a list of such concerns and also give her a list of what ways she could treat you that are acceptable as she seems to have no clue. Ask her if she is willing to work hard to change and if she messes up, to apologize and correct her ways. Let her know if shes willing to do this, you'd be more than happy to be friends, but right now as things are,her behavior is such that makes you wnat to get as far away from her as possible and that fact that she continues to come around you, behaving this way has you so upset that you're going crazy and you may do things to hurt her feelings real badly. You can say you feel worse things than that but i WOUldn't mention you feel like killing her in case something happens to her, maybe a boyfriend actually or whatever and someone hearing that or her telling others, makes you a suspect. Dont think that officials laugh it off as just silly teen stuff. there are teens in juvie hall and others convicted as adults. I know you likely aren't that serious but you are extremely frustrated. So have such a a talk with her. Just you and her and no one else around to hear. Keep trying this talk, everytime she comes around and says something you don't like. for example, the moment she critizes that you look totally flat in the style of your new shirt, or such other such cutting remark, bring it to her attention, "Hey, just to let you know, this is the kind of thing I was talking about that you need to stop doing to me. If you won't stop, then stay away from me. Eventually she should get the clue that she needs to change in order to be liked. If no improvement there, let the parents knows what you've said to her and the ultimatum you gave her and that she continues to approach and hang around you making you miserable and ask them to talk to her parents. If she starts bullying you, then you have a case to bring to attention of school officials and your parents need to know, hers too. Other than that, this is the best advice I can think of at the moment.

Ok. Previously I said that I will be going to a new school for 7th grade. As I said it's the bigger middle school of the town. I've been really excited to go and start fresh. But my dad explained to me why it's a really bad idea to go there. (They gave me the choice between the school my friends go to and this one). My mom and dad both went there, and told me horror stories of being there as a kid. He brought up the fact that in my neighborhood at my old school, we RARELY EVER heard police sirens. At the new place, police sirens are the lullaby of the neighborhood. Meaning that there's a lot of poverty in this area of town- which leads to crime often. There's some serious bully issues at that school. Of course there's nice kids, I mean, more than half the town goes there. So my choices are- go to the small, academically great school where my friends go (along with the memories flashing before my eyes of bullies and kids that are so annoying that I quit public school), OR the new school where there's bullies to the max, I don't know my way around, or any nice kids, and from everyone I talked to, the school has like 2 windows then like all fluorescent lights. Basically a prison. Also for the first option, I have to be driven to school, which I really really really really really really don't want to do. For the second option I have to take the bus through the streets where "the shit bag kids live". Direct quote from dad. I need help. What would you do? Also if it helps I'm a girl who is an extraordinary student.

Sounds like the parents are telling you things to steer you in the direction of choosing your old school by sharing their opinion of the school, kids and neighborhood. They know what it was like when 'they' were that age which was long ago. the school could be the same with same issues and troubles, it could be even worse, or it could have cleaned up its act.

Really, they are the parents and could make the choice but for some reason are leaving it up to you. I would think that the most obvious reason, the reason why one goes to school in the first place should help you decide without a problem.
You go to learn. You need a good school with good rules, great teachers and overall better academically great for students who want to learn and apply themselves towards getting good grades which is what you say about yourself, being an extraordinary student.
Your worry over what other kids will think by seeing you with a parent daily dropping you off is likely the least concern. I understand kids may tease to see a kid who has a 'mommy take them to school' just like when you were in kindergarten. However, you have a good reason, livin outside the schools area to be able to qualify for the school bussing program and not close enough to walk and perhaps even too far with transfers to take the bus, plus then you have to contend with other passengers, which you have to do on a school bus. Whether the city bus passengers are so bad that you'd have to fear for your life, remains to be seen, as right now its only based on what the parents have said.
If they really thought it would be so dangerous for you to take the city bus to the new school or attend there, do you really think they would allow their child to go if it meant you could possibliy end up bullied, injured or dead? I think not.
I still dont understand the 'need' for a fresh start unless you are running from an issue or problems at the old school.
How about this for a possibility: Start off at the new school. give it two months, like just Sept Oct. and if by then you just can't handle it, ask the parents to switch you over to your old school. Or are they unwilling to do that? Just ask them ahead of time if you came to them at any point and wanted to switch, would they commit to taking you to old school? This way you can find out for yourself if your parents perception of their old school when they were exactly your age, is true to life and just the same today or worse than when they attended. Until you know that for sure, you might be giving up a school you might actually like.

I have heard that some middle and high schools began to have a policy of having students go through metal detectors to enter the building and have a police officer whose assigned beat was the school grounds. I know it would sound obvious to do this in the high crime and poverty neighbors. I raised my kids in a very good low crime neighborhood and yet their HS had a police officer on the grounds at all times to assure that there where no problems. Perhaps that is the issue there now and it may actually be quite safe. Its up to you whether to give the new school a try or not, at least for a while. Or you could choose to commit to it for good because you want a fresh start, and have fear of the reaction of mom driving you to old school. Other than Mom driving you, you didn't really give much reasons for deciding against your old school. so perhaps there is some missing info you didn't share?
Hope this helps you decide.

I don't even know if this is the right catagory it put this in but I felt it was the closest to. I have premonition dreams. Not very often but when I do it is surrounding someones death that either hasn't happened yet or hasn't been announced yet. It freaks me out quite a bit. If I were also having good premonitions as well maybe it wouldn't scare me as much? I guess I am looking for any advice on where to go from here...

It kind of depends on what you want to do with this ability, hone it or lose it. I can't say you'd lose it totally, but since its infrequently that it happens, the best thing to do is ignore it if you don't want it to become more often and more precise with actual proof of having foreseen someones death.Premonitions have never been about good things, only warnings about bad things, accidents, disasters and deaths that could have bee prevented. If its a nameless person, meaning like its not about an aunt of yours or something, and its not a repetitive thing every night, then I don't think you have to worry about it.
My sister had a premonition dream Every night for 8 or 9 months before Hurricane Katrina hit. She never knew where, just the exact dream over and over. It got quite tiring. When Katrina finally hit, the dreams stopped immediately. She doesnt try to work with and get better at doing it.
People who are very accurate in premonition dreams and in being able to see events that have happened by touching a certain object, have been used by police to help find missing persons. It is a special ability that not all are born with. Some call it a gift. those who have it, wish they didn't as there's no way to get rid of it other than like that popular saying "Use it or lose it". So if you dont focus on trying to discover who it was a dream about or seek to find ways to prove if you were right or wrong, and just ignore it, most likely over time, it'll occur even less and less. I know someone with several different abilities that would be considered psychic. She does a various of things to earn a living, including on readings for people, helping in hauntings to help the spirit pass over, and finding missing persons. It keeps her very busy. If you don't want to go that direction, ignore the best you can dear.

hi when I was younger my dad and mom split up and I lived with my mom over the past 2 years my dad married my step mom and has two children witch are my step sisters and since i was 8 I have been able to fly back and forth every summer to visit my sisters but now im 13 years old and my dad and my step mom got a divorce and I barely see my sisters anymore and I also have problems at my home with my mom problem is my moms boyfriend she has been with for 3 years wont stop drinking and coming home and yells at her now right now my mom has about been I think 13 weeks pregnant and her boyfriend still wont stop drinking and now that im becoming a adult I want to live with my sisters really bad and ive been in a lot of stress because I will miss my mom but I really feel uncomfortable with her boyfriend over the past 3 years and she wont listen to me the other reason is I want to start my career early so I have a bigger success in life when I get older like modeling or acting and other stuff I haven't talked to my mom about this yet but I really want to be here for my sisters and I want to ask her but all my life she said no and no and no over an over and im too afraid to ask what should I do pls help :(

I am guessing you are mom's only child as you mentioned no siblings by her. If it was a housefull of kids, even though she'd miss you, it might be a wee bit easier having one less kid around to take care of and look after.
Also, mom's boyfriend drinking means his thinking and actions will be compromised by not having a clear mind. It puts you at age 13, in a very awkward and potentially dangerous position. I know sometimes dads have reaped daughters but its even more so with moms boyfriends.
You did not say so, but if this man is making such hints or advances towards you, you need to let mom know. Its her boyfriend whom she loves so she may not believe it or not take you seriously. If it is or ever becomes an issue and you are afraid for your life, then talk to a school counselor. If its a more immediate threat like right that evening, walk to a neighbors and ask to call police from there or walk to the fire or police station for help. Let them know whats going on and they will get you help.

Now as for seeing your step sisters, I dont know the situation between the adults involved and whether financially they can't afford to send you. Often parents will say no without explaining why. So you have to ask. If mom says its a financial reason why you cant go fly out to visit them to stay for lets say all summer, then what you'd need to do is find a way to raise the money on your own to make it possible.
At 13, we all think we are very grown up but a part of our brain lags far behind and won't reach its adult reasoning and decision ability at matureness until at least our mid 20's. Not making this up, Its a scientific fact you can research for yourself if you want, its the frontal lob of brain that takes so long to become mature. So in any decision making, it is best to always seek advice. In that, youre on the right track by thinking to ask here. However, we aren't close to you and your family and don't know you and family situation as closely as family would. the best place to start asking is mom, dad, step parents, aunts and uncles, grandma. Let them know what your concerns are and what your wishes and goals are. You have several listed here. tRY not to present it as all one issue.
As for earning your own money, it is very possible with the internet today. My 2nd husbands daughter, when she was 11 was playing IMVU online and realized the need for clothes to purchase for avatars and she began to create them and was earning money in the game account from it. However she needed a way to get the money out and heres where the support of parents come in. She needed to create her own pay pal account but to do that, she needed her own bank account, mainly a savings account with a debit card and for that, banks require a parent to come in with the minor and also be a signer on the account. So you will want an adult you can trust to not take your hard earned money out of your account, a situation I can see as a slight possibility if boyfriend was drunk at the time he was looking for money for more booze and used your moms card on your account. I've heard from a girl who's own dad took out all of her own money out of her account.
Once you turn 18, you can have the parent removed off your account. SO if you have some talents and something you could sell on the internet, thats one of the most popular ways young teens are earning money before they are able to get hired at 16. Hope this helps you some.

I'm 20 years old girl from Malaysia..and I'm facing problem during night..can't even sleep..can feel that my body need something..so desirable..I had a good relationship with my boyfriend..but he is in overseas..unable to meet him often..but I terribly miss him..his eyes and touch..I wanna keep my virginity for him to break it after our marriage..but how to overcome my needs..how to masturbate without penetrating or without breaking my hymen

I don't know if in Malaysia they carry feminine products called tampons for womens monthly blood flow. These can be inserted inside and just use of that is sometimes enough to stretch the hymen. The hymen is stretch-able like a rubber band. So in many cases, it will not break and bleed, it didnt for me. What you are talking about is being a virgin as far as having a penis enter the vagina, in English the name for that in 'intercourse'. You can be a virgin to that but still use fingers or a sex toy on yourself to achieve orgasms. So what you will need to focus on is your clitoris which is on the outside, not inside the vagina. Use of a personal lubricant made specifically for sex, is very helpful in helping to add friction without making any tissue sore. You will need to practice is using your fingers to get just the right rubbing, the right spot, pressure and speed for it to give you an orgasm. There are vibrator sex toys made just to stimulate the clitoris that are not inserted at all inside. this could work for you too.
I am including a good explanation a young female did, using a prop to explain just what the hymen is. She uses the term "pop your cherry" which is slang here for the hymen tearing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA

why did blood comes out when having sex

If its your first time and you are female, its likely your hymen tore. It will heal up on its own. Or...females are easily more horny when their period is about to start and having sex will help the flow to start sometimes so it could be just your. Or if you've had sex before but see some spots of blood, either you didn't use enough lube and some skin near entrance or inside the vagina tore a little, or perhaps the sex was a bit rough. Again no need to worry. Occasionally women experience this throughout life, its normal and heals up quick on its own.
some blood coming out from your penis, its likely you may have a bladder infection and best to go see the doctor. the fact that you noticed it only right after having sex is merely a coincidence.

Hi, i am in a long distance relationship and some days i really like the way things are going, my partner has alot of girl mates who he gets along with and hes still friends with his first ex-girlfriend and at times i feel like i havent given him much sexual attention and i obviously cannot do this physically so im scared that he might go and do something with someone else (his first ex) ive confronted him about this but have not mentioned that im worried because hes getting close with his ex ive just told him im scared to lose him and that he might do something stupid, all he replied was "well i havent done anything yet"
and a friend of mine asked him hows things going between me and him he didnt answer he said that his ex wants to have sex with him now that she isnt in a relationship anymore. also a few months back she even confronted him about her feelings towards him and how she still has feelings for him and now shes getting closer to him and he likes it

so what should i do? should i end it ? should i just trust him ? should i confront him about this girl ? because he hasnt said that he still speaks to her i have found that out from my friend
what should i do?
i dont know what he does in his spare time whether he lies to me when he says hes going work or going out with family etc i dont know :'( i feel like ending it with him but i love him so much to the extent where when he asked me "if i do something dumb would you take me back" and i said yes because i truly love him and i understand the situation we are in

for the very two reasons you mentioned, LDR's fail. It's impossible to build trust issues over distance and trust in vital to a relationship.
Second,people need touch and its a vital part of relationships too, sexual relations included and that is one thing people who meet on internet can't do. So its not you or him, it's the context of this relationship. Texting instead of face to face convo's and LDR'S instead of in person dating seems to be popular these days. Unfortunately, young people are becoming so used to these methods of contact that they no longer know how so converse in person and courses must be taught in schools to teach this to people. Some have no clue how to go about an in person relationship but those who have tasted an in-person live relationship WILL know what they are missing and the draw will be irresistable when compared to a real live person equally nice compared to the on line bf/gf who one can never touch or kiss and has never met.
And then, there is one final thing that can mess things up even if two people found a way to meet. A relationships foundation is 2 things, being a best friend = to the emotional connection and the love, and 2nd, sexual compatibility = sexual desire due to a pheremone connection. We emit pheremones as human beings, animals do too, it is what attracts the opposite sex, like what attracts the tomcat to the female cat when she's in heat. Pheremones can't be picked up on via the internet, only in person. I used internet dating to find my 2nd husband. I met several before him who sounded promising after only a week of talking on line before meeting and once in front of each other, discover there is absolutely no pheremone connection, no matter how handsome and ripped the guy was.
I do feel on line penpals of the opposite sex is a good way to get used to conversing with and understanding the opposite sex in how they think, what they mean, problem solve, arrive at decisions, etc. And good conversation is important in a relationship. However, one must keep in mind that your mind imagines and makes up and fills in the parts you can't possibly know or feel to make it more real, so an LDR becomes nothing more than theater of the mind. The mind can cause strong feelings...like think of the last movie that made you cry. You know its all actors and a made up story line but our subconscious mind gets sucked in easily emotionally. It happens in LDR's too, even when there is not enough vital info to know whether there really is a chance the two are perfect for each other in all areas.

So you are right, there is more temptation to go with a relationship in person than one on line. It is easy to lie too on line but you have no way to prove it being long distance. It's not like you can drive past his parents house to see if his car is there on a day he says he had plans to go there.
So basically, you have only a partial relationship. With a couple who knew each other for years and are in love but then he goes into the military, an LDR has a greater success rate because now the net is being used to 'stay in touch' with a loved one. Its always been established in person they have the pheremone connection, that they can trust each other and the touch and sex they can't have in person becomes do-able and works for them because of their already established sex life, its easier to have phone sex, cam or skype with a loved one via the distance. In your case, you don' have that going for you. You c an go through the motions of doing phone sex but when neither of you have a previously established sex life together, its far too common to find when finally meeting, that it all falls apart.
You are better off telling him you'd only like to remain in touch as friends, give your heart time to heal, and look for a live in person relationship next time around. I dont say it because I am convinced he's a slimeball and can't be trusted, just because the facts are, that you will never have the boyfriend or future husband you seek by going this route, and never experience all a face to face relationship can be.

I got my period a couple days ago and I have to wear tampons because I'm on a competitive swim team my next meet is Sunday so I've been trying really hard so use tampons my mom got be tampax pearl regular my first day and I kept trying I got it in but could still feel it inside me I tried off and on again for 2 days and still can feel it I told my mom and she went and got me tampax pearl light weight I think (lavender) and it does the same thing. So my question is what do I do is this normal if I'm doing it wrong how much of the string should I see. Thabkyou,
Hanna

You likely are not pushing it in deep enough. That seems to be a worry with young girls, it certainly was mine. The main fear is getting it lost in there, unable to get it back out. Thats impossibile. The vagina dead ends at the cervix. So push until it can't go in any further. What you likely are feeling is not the end that went in first but the end that has the string attached. It is not past whatever part of the body is feeling it, I wasnt sure if it was that hymen area, a ring of muscles at the entrance or maybe even the pubic bone, but if it wasnt in far enough, I felt it with every movement, while walking, and going from sitting to standing and back to sitting and it is very uncomfortable. If the problem is that the plastci applicator won't easily glide in, ask Mom for personal lube to apply to the outside of the plastic applicator and it should have no trouble going in.

Basically, my boyfriend of two years invites me to lots of different events. We live 40 minutes drive apart and on the most part I go to events/occasions, like a birthday meal on his side or a wedding for someone only he knows.
But whenever I don't want to go to one of these events-for example a wedding-he kicks off and gets upset. He hates it if I refuse to go and says he'll break up with me. Am I in the wrong? Surely I have the right to say no to things I don't want to go to? Its not like I refuse EVERYTHING only one or two things. And we've been together for two years but he makes it sound like I'm expected to be there-and asks the host to invite me and him-and THEN says the host was looking forward to seeing me.
I feel like I don't have a choice...

Razhies absolutely right. I have some experience with a controlling person, behavior wise, and to have these expectations and attempt to force and bend you to his will, wish, desire and not allow you any choices, is 'Controlling behavior'. In some people, controlling behavior can be an obvious hint that the person has mental issues, and perhaps mental illness as thats one of the many versions of mental illness. It may be that is the case for him and he is undiagnosed as of yet and not on medications that help him live a more normal life.
So in answer to your question, you are not being unreasonable, he is.

I can think of a possibility on his part if its not mental illness but just bad behavior, as to why he gets so upset. Say that he enjoys having you around, so much that where ever he is invited or obligated to attend, he asks the host/hostess if you can be invited. He may say certain things like, you don't like being left out and like to attend events with him and therefore the people invite you and are expecting you based on what he has said. He may be wording in ways that you will for sure be coming with him in case they need a head count...commiting you without giving you a choice. Then when you say no, he is embarrassed becaused he promised for sure you'd be there and now feels he's going to lose face due to his lying and assumptions. This means it bothers him easily what others may think so he likely lacks self confidence or good self image or has a fear of what others think that affect him. Thats his issue, not yours. You can't cause that. And no, he should not be promising your attendance, even if a head count is required. Reasonably, the unexpected can happen, family emergency or one becomes ill and can't attend, so do not feel obligated to help him save face if thats whats going on. I am sure he talks about you and has people curious to meet you who haven't yet. But to assume and make decisions for you is wrong. He takes it a step further and worse, by getting angry at you and attempting as a last resort to bend you to his will by threats.
I think it would be a good idea if he carried through and broke up with you but I highly doubt that. Its going to have to be you who breaks up with him if he won't change after you have a heart to heart talk with him. He may not be willing to talk about it or simply point the finger at you and blame you or list how it is your fault. This is a survival mechanism, called deflection that people use to take the focus off themselves cus deep down they know something is wrong on their part but terrified to find out what it is, totally refusing to consider seeing a counselor and getting help to get better. I have an ex like that, married 30 married before i left and I should have left lots sooner. Unless he is willing to go for professional help, he is not going to be good boyfriend material or prime husband material...take it from someone who learned the hard way.

I want to start packing lunch next year (I'm going to highschool) but I don't want to have a plain peanut butter and jelly everyday. I want it to be healthy but not repetitive. But my parents are also on a budget. Plus I don't want my lunch food to get eaten by my family. And I also don't want my mom to have to rush to the store every night before school to get my lunch. So do you have any tips for packing lunch? Or ever lunch recipes?

I never had a big appetite in HS so I just took an apple every day. Once I graduated and was working my first job, all I took for lunch was a yogurt, I was on a yogurt kick i guess. Both things are healthy and you might add them in along with sandwich. Big giant apples are a meal in themselves, however if Mom buys the smaller lunch sized apples it maybe cheaper and you can add them to a sandwich. tuna can be bought on sale or at dollar stores and are just as good used to make tuna salad sandwiches. Eggs aren't all that expensive and you can make an egg salad, enough for one sandwich the night before and put in fridge for next day. I shop a lot at dollar stores. they often offer clear little fruit cups of applesauce, mango, pineapple, peaches, pears or mandarin oranges and are a healthy addition to a lunch. If you like carrots and celery with ranch dip, there are small ready to go packs but they're expensive. If you are willing to cut up your own, and purchase a tiny container to take along ranch dressing, you have veggies and dip.
Assorted Nuts are a good source of protein to eat instead of peanutbutter on a sandwich and can be found in dollar stores too. Hope this gives you some ideas. If you like hummus, its also good protein used as a dip with corn chips from dollar store instead of a sandwich. You just need to use sandwich bags and fill like two with chips to leave some chips for others, and again take a small container for the hummus that you can toss into backpack or purse to take home and clean for reuse. So there's some planning if you want some inexpensive variety for your lunchs. If mom isn't in the mood to shop at several stores, perhaps she'd let you go purchase a few things at the dollar store with grocery cash from the budget.

Hi guys! I'm twenty and my boyfriend is twenty two. He and I are going away for the first time in August and I'm so nervous about it. We've been dating for a couple of months now, I've gotten quite acclimated to his friend group and vice versa-he with mine. So, anyway, his friends are all planning a big beach trip and he asked me to go along. We're renting a beach house that sleeps ten so the more people we get, the better it will be for everyone money wise. Anyway, I'm excited for it since it's a bunch of people that I like and get along with. But I'm so nervous that it's going to be our first time away together. I know in relationships, there's a first for everything but this is kind of a big deal.

I'm guessing we would share a room in the house and that kind of thing but that would be the first time that we would be sleeping in the same bed and even having a "sleepover". I know that the night time is really the only time that we will be alone too, with so many friends going and sharing a house, there's going to be someone everywhere besides our shared room.

My parents are strict, so he hasn't every stayed over my house for a night. I'm the little girl in my family so they're both just protective of me, but they both really like him and his group of friends, which is why they're letting me go away to the beach with them.

I'm especially nervous since the couple of days we are utilizing to go to the beach are the three days before my birthday and everyone that is going to the beach, is going to my birthday. We're all already planning to get rooms, we're having my birthday at the casino and since it's my 21st, I don't trust myself, nor any of my friends to drive home afterwards so we're all getting a couple hotel rooms for the night. And with my over thinking, I've come to the conclusion that if the beach days go bad or they're awkward, sleeping arrangement wise, I feel like my birthday is going to be awkward as well with the sleeping arrangements.

I like him a lot, I do. I'm making him seem strange with how awkward I know he's going to be but he isn't awkward in any other regard, I just don't think he wants to overstep his boundaries, he still wants to be a gentleman which I do respect. I think it's just him realizing that we aren't going to have our own, separate houses to go back to when we're done hanging out, when we're tired and ready for bed, we have to go back to the same room for the entire night.

Anyway, I guess my question to all of this is: how do I get over feeling like this so I don't ruin the two trips with my over thinking? I've been told that my over thinking has ruined things in the past and I don't want to do that here. How do I just go to the beach and be with him and all of his friends and enjoy the time with them and have it not be weird at the end of the night? Any help is appreciated, if you yourself dealt with a similar situation your first time away with your significant other.

Thanks!

As Adviceman said, I also believe the big unknown might be the subject of the possibility of sex. No matter what your parents beliefs are or how they raised you, you're an adult now and able to decide whether or not, and where and when you will have sex, even if it goes against their beliefs. Just be safe and have condoms along with in your purse if you think its even a slight possibility.

One thing that stood out is when you wrote: "I'm guessing we would share a room in the house"

The problem is that you are "GUESSING', which means you do not have enough facts. I don't consider it over thinking but thorough adult-like planning to get all the facts and info straight before hand. Sharing a room and how many beds available are two different things. If there are two beds, and you get your own, that will make you likely feel more comfortable, am I right? I know how hard it is even with good intentions to abstain from anything sexual when we move in our sleep and end up in contact with the other person. Sexual interest and passion can flare pretty quickly. Plenty of times either my hubby or I have gone to be saying I am so tired, fighting off a cold or I have bad acid reflux or whatnot, so lets not do anything tonight. We agree. But later as we're snuggling up, we find ourselves wanting to have sex despite how we may be not feeling our best.
So, you need to know, how many bedrooms there are. Have an idea of how many beds and how many in each room. Once you know that, of all the people going, you'll want to know how everyone is planning to divy up bedrooms. Are there girls who will be present who are not sexually active yet with boyfriends who'd prefer to be sleeping in the same room or same bed with another female and guys share rooms together. If you do not know this, best to talk things out before hand rather than try to decide once you all get there.

Describing him as a gentleman means nothing as far as sex goes. there are gentlemen who are sexually active and others who aren't. And gentlemen are not able to turn off their libido at will according to the situation they find themselves in. So gentleman or not, you need to be realistic here. And it all comes down to what Adviceman said, do you want to have sex with him or not. If so, the shared beach house isn't the place, too many can hear you and you wont enjoy yourself. The hotel is a better place. Don't decide on whether you are willing to have sex or not once you're on your trip. Thats too late. Decide now. If you are willing but he would rather not on this trip, that would be good to know so you both can plan your first time after the trip. The only way to know if he's ready to have sex and waiting for a signal from you is to ask him. If he's ready, but you aren't...let him know that even tho it might look as an opportune possibilty, you want him to know ahead of time that you are not ready and its not happening at any point during this trip. It might feel awkward at first to talk of such things, but if you can't do so with your boyfriend, you're definitely not ready, but he needs to know that.

Me...f,48 (but look like I'm 35),gay. I walk to work every day. During my walk I was passing this attractive woman (early 30s maybe), who would always smile at me. We smiled at each other for weeks before I stopped her, talked to her (complimented her smile, and we had a great comvo) and gave her my number(I have business cards, and a habit of jumping first and asking questions later). She didn't ask for it, and as soon as I gave it to her, I felt like she just wanted to go. Well, I've seen her once since then (it's been three weeks...we used to see each other twice a day, every day), and she said "I'm going to call you", which she hasn't done. I know she's been leaving early to avoid running into me. I misread the situation, obviously, but I also want her to know it's OK for her not to call. I'm not desperate. I just wanted to get to know her. I really want to catch her and apologize/explain... I miss her smile... but part of me says just let it go. What should I do?

there you go, you said you realized you offered something unsolicited and put her on the spot. I am very talkative and sometimes will start telling a person a story they didnt want to hear, have no interest in or no time to listen. I still goof up at times but have learned, would you like to hear more about ???, I have a funny story on the subject. If a person says yes, then I have the go ahead. I do know that gay or bi women tend to have something not tangible, but something invisible they let off that other such women are able to pick up, vibes I guess you could call it. Out of curiousity I went with a bi female neighbor friend and her husband to a club they liked going to. When I saw how many females walked right up to her and hugged or kissed her on the spot, I was wondering if anyone who saw me there with hubby would assume I was bi too. I was enjoying dancing when only 1 female asked me if I was bi. I said I wasn't and she was surprised as she felt for sure I was.
In all your story, I didnt hear anything about picking up that she might be gay also or bi. In general public, other than having been once at the club, I never think that when a female is being friendly towards me that she might be gay, bi or hetero. I simply figure that she saw something she liked about me for a friend and that is it. It might be that later she got the weird vibes that you might not be hetero like her if that was the case. Or if gay, she wasnt attracted to your personality or no pheremone connection, just not the right vibes and therefore feels no reason to call.

I'd say your gut feeling is right to let it go. Some people are really squeamish when it comes to talk about sex, attraction, sexual orientation or gender identity. And if their subconscious picks up even a hint of something along those lines, they panic and don't know how to handle it other than avoiding. Thats her particular way of handling. Not everyone can be as self assured and comfortable as you. For whatever reason, she's unable to tell you anything. Lots of people lack skills of how to tackle a situation like this.

If it helps to ease your mind and your concerns, to understand her actions better, put yourself in her shoes. If you have a great imagination this shouldnt be too hard...like watching a movie play out in your mind where you are playing the role of her and all the actions and emotions that come with it.
Now, if you were her, lets say shes straight and her gut is telling her you just might be gay. She doesnt know that for sure, just guessing. Now picture yourself with just this guess, approaching a gay woman like yourself and saying something. What exactly would you say? Hi, I've been kinda avoiding you. You see, its cus I've been picking up weird feelings about you. I thought you might be gay or bi and I am not. If you were gay, you might have your feelings hurt or dissappointed at the very least. Lots of people take things so personally too easily and if not gay, could become very upset with her. She feels its safer to say nothing and avoid than end up with her foot in her mouth and perhaps pissing someone off seriously and now having someone who's out to pick on her as a way of getting back at her. The world is too full of such sensitive, and insensitive people, so I can understand why a person would avoid rather than confront. Its human nature, the fight or flight complex. Either one runs and hides, or bravely stands ground and faces the scary situation.
You're best off not saying at thing, and also...not taking any of this so personally. the fact its bugging you simply means you resolve to do better next time when approaching someone. Us friendly outgoing types have to keep things like this in mind to avoid making people uncomfortable.
good luck.

This is what I believe in:

-reincarnation
-spells
-gods and goddesses
-worshipping those and being one with nature
-that everything has a spirit
-communicating with the gods and goddesses
-meditation (candles and incense)

I know you all are gonna say Wicca, but I want a religion that when I tell someone what mine is, they'd be like "wtf???"

I'm American; part Irish, Swedish, German, etc if that helps.

Wicca is but one that falls under the general description of Pagan beliefs. Druidism is another popular one. I am sure there are many much lesser known ones. Or, if you don't fit any belief system closely, the best thing one can say is that they are a solitary practitioner of their own version of an earth based, pagan belief.
I myself have such a jumbled collection of beliefs that I do not fit anywhere either if someone were to ask for a name or title.

If it helps any, when it comes to spiritual growth, the path is uniquely different for each person and trying to fit the mold of a ready made belief system or spiritual path or religion is something I dont beleive our Creator meant for us. Its always been meant to be our very own.

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