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Issues in the family with sister
I have an elder sister who thinks that all of us in the sense my mother, my father and me hate her. She always thinks that my mother always shows partiality towards me and doesn't care for her at all when she does. All of a sudden
My sister acts kind of weird like a sadist and starts cursing my mom harassing all of us. She thinks that I am the reason behind all of her problems. she makes me want to feel like I ruined her life by being born. We can just find out how annoyed she is of me being in her life through her actions. I just want to die and forget that I was ever born in this family. Please someone help me out. And by the way I me and my sister are studious and dont want our studies to get disturbed. If anyone helps me in solving this issue I owe them big time!! I am a female and am 15 years old and my sister is 17
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You do use the words "we" and "us" a lot in this post. It seems you always have someone on your team whether it be your mom, dad, or all three of you together. Can your sister say the same for herself? Has it occurred to you that maybe she really is an outsider in this family? Maybe no one has ever been there to truly nurture her unique temperament and personality the way yours was nurtured. Having your family on your side is a fundamental human necessecity and it doesn't sound like she has this from you, your mom, or your dad. Clearly this is something you've never had to think about because you've always had it. Think about it now.
Furthermore, using group mentality to try and help her will get her nowhere. She needs genuine kindness from each individual member of her family. Let's see if you guys are up to that task.
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As already suggested, you could talk to her and find out if she can explain in some valid reasons why she is acting as she does towards you and thinks the whole family hates her. Are your parents aware of her feeling they hate her? If Mom doesnt know, you might want to tell her.
You did mention the phrase 'all of a sudden', and I wonder if you're using it as a way to express how quickly her moods switch back and forth of if its more about her having always had a pretty good personality and all of this is fairly new behavior that came on all of a sudden.
If there is a time you can remember when her personality was much nicer, and it was before she started puberty or getting her first period, it could be related to her hormones. Most girls will find their emotions out of control when hormones hit and for some it may take a few years to add up. Females get extra sad and weepy but at worst, depressed and suicidal if out of balance on hormones. Or we get easily irritated at silly things, or get angry, some become wild and out of control. If angry, females having problems caused by their hormone levels will more often than not pick on the closest females to them which is usually a sibling, mother or best friend. My 3 daughters are 3 yrs apart so when teens I'd have one hormoning at 14 and the other still hormoning at 17 and they'd be fighting like cats and dogs all the time. Its important for the whole family to have a talk and realize that both of you are going thru this emotional time and Mom may want to keep closer tabs on both of you. Its possible your sis may have an overload of hormones but its something a Dr. can test for and treat with medication for the teen years until her body matures and the hormones level out on their own. Its certainly worth looking into to have peace in the family. I would suggest you let Mom see my response. I have read articles about this online and remember one Mother mentioning how glad she was that she took her daughter to the Dr. The girl had an overload of hormones that turned her into a mean creature no one in the family had recognized anymore. Once she got her medicine, she became her old self again. It is that mothers grateful story that has me passing on this piece of information as it can not only bring peace to the family again but it can be a life saver. too many teen girls with out of control hormones develop extreme depression and kill themselves and that is such a sad thing when it could all have been avoided by a Dr. visit.
I am glad you wrote in dear. I know all people have habits that can bug and irritate others in a family but her responses are a bit over the top for that. Its important to learn some self control when it comes to our emotions but in the case of hormone overload, your sister is totally helpless and wont know the difference until after a Dr has treated her. So on second thought, you may want to skip approaching sis and asking her what is bugging her because she really may not have a clue and just say "Everything!!" Tell your Mom what I wrote or show this to her. I do hope you get her checked out because hormone overload is a real problem in todays time as we live in a world where we pick up the female estrogen hormones in synthetic varieties through all the things we come into contact with. So by time a girl reaches puberty, her body is already filled with a large amount of these hormones. So when the body starts releasing her own hormones on top of that, you get an overload. Some girls are experiencing this at 14, 15 and some as they get older. Good luck dear.
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Your sister is just going through a hard time/phase right now. She probably needs her space, but also I suggest sitting her down when it seems she is in a relatively good mood, and really ask her why she's doing this and feels this way. She could just be being stupid and is having a hard time and is using you to take it out on. I used to sort of feel this way about my brother and kind of my sister, but over time it faded away as they and I got older and more mature. You sister may need psychological or medical help with whatever it is going on with her. You should probably also talk to your parent(s) about this, see what they think about it and what they or you could do to fix it or help. I really think that something happened to her to make her be this way, so I definitely think that you should straight up confront her to please tell you what's been going on.
Hope this helps~
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