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humorist-workshop
Need excuses to not go out with my friends
This question is slightly more complicated than you might think it is by looking at its title.
My friends go out every night. They play cops and robbers first and then go to the pool to play truth or dare. Honestly, I don't mind the cops and robbers part; I even like it. But the truth or dare part is what I'm at discomfort with. They come to my house every night and ask me to go with them to play and to this day, I've managed to play cops and robbers but leave when they start playing truth or dare, saying it's past my curfew when it really isnt. NOw that we've grown a little ollder, they know that I don't have a curfew that early and will want me to come play truth or dare with them. Also, since we are older, they are starting to make the truths and the dares more challenging such as kissing someone or making out with them or anything of that sort. I have never kissed someone and don't intend to kiss any of those friends anytime soon but backing out of a dare would make me seem like a coward and my friends would start excluding me if I did that. Before you start giving me advice, I want you to know that I have already ruled out a couple of options.
1. Saying "no" to them directly. This would make me seem like cowardly and theyre not REALLY good friends of mine so after a while they would completely kick me out of the group.
2. To make up an excuse every time I go. Believe me, I've tried this and after a while they have started getting suspicious.
3.To explain to them that I am not comfortable with Truth or Dare. As I said earlier, they're not really good friends of mine so they would probably make fun of me or something like that.
I know from the above you will tell me that I probably shouldn't be friends with them but they're the only people here (I'm at my cottage) and I really don't want to spend two months playing cards with my grandparents.
I'm sorry this was long and complex but I really need some help. I am sorry if I left some things out so feel free to ask me to give you more information you will need to help me out. Thank you so much!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Of course the best answer is the truthful one but since you do not wish to give that one to them you might try this one.
I am assuming your a guy if you're a girl just change the type of friend. It appears that these are summer friends you have at a summer cottage. You could tell them that playing cops and robbers is fine. When it comes to Truth or Dare the way they play it makes you feel as if your cheating on a girlfriend you have back home and you won't do that. You know that she is not cheating on you for she is away at a girls summer camp. Should they somehow start playing the drinking version of the game you just tell them you do not drink and you do not wish to start drinking.
You don't say how old you are but it is normal for you to feel as you do. It is also normal for them to play this game as they are as there is a bit of safety in numbers that they will not go too far with the making out.
When it comes to being comfortable with the opposite sex, to start hugging and kissing everyone matures at a different pace. You may be the same age as these kids but come from a different family environment or neighborhood environment as well. The day will come, probably not to far in the future when you will be ready to do these things. You really do not have to give anyone any excuses why you do not want to play this game with them. I understand your reason why you feel as you do and is the reason I gave you the answer to give them that I did.
If they cannot respect that reason, especially the girls. Then they are far more juvenile than you may think.
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You could say you find truth or day boring because they play it every day. You could tell them you want to come up with new things to do because truth or dare is getting old.
That being said, I think you should ditch this group. They sound immature. Why don't you go swimming or tan or read instead?
Or bake brownies. Who doesn't love brownies? Just remember: never eat more than you can lift!
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
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If youve continued to say no to going out and their starting to not believe you then you honestly need to just tell them that you DO have fun when your out with them but that your really not comfortable with the truth or dare thing. If they are real friends they will respect your wishes and not give you a bunch of BS over it period.
If you cant work up the balls or stay true to yourself (even if it means being with no friends for a while) then your going to have get used to them doing things like that.
You really dont "know" what they would do or say if you asked them to not force you to play so really its a crap shoot. If you say "i dont wanna play that but ill chill with you guys and watch" and then just sit there until their done playing it then thats ok. just say "nawwww im good thanks ill watch though"
usually if they arent close friends and they want to be hospitable to you as temporary friends then they will just be like "ok" and you can still hang with them.
ORRR you when they DO bring up playing it you could just say your bored with playing that EVERY SINGLE TIME you guys hang out and see if you can think of something else to play and that the truth or dare thing is "getting old" and play it off but remain positive about it.
Why dont you go out "exploring" with them?? walking around the area and trying to "find cool stuff" like empty houses, or shops or stuff people leave out in alleyways for the trash guys to come pick up that you all didnt even know about??
go walk to the thrift stores and see what kinda stuff they have in there! thrift stores really can have a wealth of shit you had no idea about. you can walk in, check stuff out, make fun of old clothing that people "actually wore" at one point in time! haha.
even if you dont have any money it CAN be really fun still and will "kill time" if you want to delay having to put up with playing stupid immature games.
good luck ; )
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