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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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How do I get the fighting to stop its always over stupid stuff.....

It is hard to give advice specific to your problem when your question is too generic in information.

For example, the 'we' could be two sisters fighting, a teen fighting with a parent, a dating couple or married couple for a few examples.

The fighting could be just verbal or escalate to physical fighting too.

The 'stupid stuff' may be little things, or actually may be the sort of things that often people do fight over, whether one thinks them insignificant or not.

There are ways to converse and work out differences without saying and doing the wrong thing to make the situation worse where both get angrier instead of calming down and compromising together. If I knew some background too on both peoples situations, that may play into the
'why' of whats causing each person to fight, like one is overwhelmingly stressed at school or work, and the other has an anger problem, fights depression or has mental or emotional disorders, a history of abuse in their past....

All of this can contribute to causing the situation.
If you choose to not say more, all I can say is that when disagreements start, all you can do is control yourself, you have no control over the other. And the best thing you can do is stop responding verbally. Say nothing, clam up. Fight the urge to defend yourself if accused or blamed wrongly, don't try to reason with a person who is already upset, don't try to use logic if you've done so before and it hasn't helped. I know this all because I used to be married to a man who was verbally abusive and tried to pick fights with me all the time. At first I fought back and learned that if I fought back verbally, all it did was add fuel to the fire. It helped for a while if I remained quiet. In my case tho, he had undiagnosed mental illness that was getting worse. Eventually, my sitting there quietly not reacting, even in facial expressions made him just as angry as if I spoke. To this I responded with, "If you don't calm down, and leave the house to do so, then I will leave the house to give you time to get yourself under control." If he opened his mouth to say another angry word, I grabbed my purse and headed for my car and went to visit a friend without letting him know where I'd gone. Until a person is ready to attempt to work things out civilly with you, theres not much you can do.
If you need more specific help, provide a little bit more background, story situation.

I talked to my cousin and told her what was going on with my money and she and my aunt immediately went and bought me a camper trailer so I wouldn't have to go back to my moms and she said she would talk to my stepdad who was the one that told mon to give me at least $20.00 to keep her from not giving me anthing to .ask him tell my mom that if she didn't give my money all of it I would switch payees.If needed how much would a lawyer cost?

You shouldn't need a lawyer if you want to change payees. That should be able to be done thru the state. Perhaps your aunt can look into it by contacting the local Department of Social and Health services where all people who have need of state funding help for food, housing or social workers get qualified or get on going help. As I see it, if you are no longer going to be living with mom, there is no actual need for the funds to go straight to her any longer. You could ask her or have your relatives ask her for the name and contact information of your social worker/case worker. There will be one assigned to you, I assure you, as without one, the state would never release an SSI check meant to take care of your needs. And they do update interviews once a year if not every 6 mos to make sure nothing has changed regarding the person receiving funding. Finding a lawyer on your own, if one is needed, most cost alot. But I am sure there are lawyers who do work for low income people and those in your circumstances for low cost and again, a good place to find out who to turn to for legal help, would be your local DSHS department. Keep in mind most agencies like this are very busy and you would do better to show up in person, perhaps with cousin or aunt to help in case it is too overwhelming for you to do so on your own. Sometimes there is information they may need to know that you may not think to share and its helpful to have a caregiver along or relative to help. You would let the people know for what reason you are there. If mom will not cooperate and give you the name of your social worker, then you let them know Mom gets your check and wont give you the money and you dont live with her anymore and $20. she gives you to keep you quiet doesnt come anywhere near taking care of your basic living needs. You have no idea who your social worker is but want to find out and also get your payee switched. Once they know what you are there for, you will get to speak to someone who handles these kinds of issues, so I doubt a lawyer would be needed, only if your Mom refused to cooperate.
I am glad to hear that your cousin and aunt got you a trailer to live in. Thats wonderful. I agree you shouldn't have to go live with Mom. You need some independance from her and it sounds like she's been taking advantage of you and your mental disabilities, using it to her advantage, which is a terrible thing for anyone to do, let alone it being a parent. So work towards speaking to someone at social health services in your area and getting payee's switched. I would think if you ask your aunt or cousin, one of them would be glad to handle it since they are already taking in interest in your welfare with the purchase of the trailer and all the help your cousin has done for you so far. Thanks for letting me know. Wishing you the best dear.

26 female
I have been recieving SSI and survivors benefits off my Dad since I was12 and my mom is my payee which means she is the one who helps me budget my money. She use to be really good abou giving me my money with no problems but now she is not wanting to give me hardly anything. She went from giving me $60.00 a week and then she decreased it to $20.00 a week and I have to buy everything I need with that ecept she bought me a carton of cigarettes and is only giving me 3packs3my a week. I live with my cousin and my cousin is basically buying everything I need out if her own money when I run out of things I need when I run out of money. I want to change my payee my problem is my mom would get mad if she finfs out and I dont know how to change my payee.
Can I make the decision to change my payee without
my momknowledge or permission with the diagnosis of mental retardation with the IQ of 69?
I have other issues with my mom that bother me like I never know when my phone bill is going to get paid. She tells everyone even complete strangers that i am mr. She also brings up things that I dont remember when she gets mad like the fact that I was molested by mad when I was 3. She always put me down . I have heard all my life that I will never be able to do this or She days that I can't do this because I have the mind of a child. She gas mentioned that she wants to jave me declared mentally encompentant and if she does that I will no rights if she sees to it. What should I do?

I used to be a part time caregiver for a gal in your position, who was getting assistance in housing and a monthly SSI check. She had a state assigned case worker to make sure all was the same, and nothing changed on a yearly basis and I as someone who spent time helping her, had to be present to give a report too. She was perfectly capable of deciding to look for and find other low income housing and get on a waiting list with the country for a new place when reg. apts rent went up. Parents are responsible for their children until they turn 18, and having m r is not an excuse for a parent to continue to have control of funds meant to care for you. It should now be going to someone else whom you have chosen and want to be your payee. I had a male client with schizophrenia at one point decide he wanted to change his payee and he also decided to no longer use the agency that sent me out and ask a distant relative who was willing, to be a caregiver. People in your position have those rights.
So yes, you need to talk to a lawyer. And of course Mom will be angry when she no longer receives your checks because she has been abusing the system for a long time and is relying on this as extra income for her to spend on herself and pay her own bills with. She needs to find other income. She has been doing something illegal basically as there are rules that go along with the paying or any provisions that come from government agencies. Even food stamps program have rules. no one else can use your card for food, only you or it is a crime if someone else receives food off it that was meant for you. I have food stamps, I know. So I know it would apply as well to your SSI check. It doesnt matter what your IQ is or whether you are mentally challenged in any way, those funds are meant strictly for you and you get to make the choice. So dont believe Mom. Perhaps have cousin help if you need it, to start making calls and discover who your state caseworker is and request to talk to her. You do have one or as Adviceman said, you wouldn't be getting funding otherwise. The survivor benefits is one thing, but SSI entirely another. Your mom is trying to scare you into not asking around and trying to get help by threatening to declare you mentally incompetent. You wouldn't even be writing to us and with such clarity if you were so totally unable of doing lots of the basics of self care. ANd you probably may qualify for some caregiving if you had your own place. So dont be scared into doing nothing. No one will listen to any threats of your mom's without any real good testing and verification and meetings with you. Good luck. I would like to hear how this turns out for you. Dont delay but try to get a hold of a lawyer or at least check with social services and get a private meeting with your social worker at your cousins, without Mom around if possible so you can share your concerns. You also have your cousin who can verify that you only receive some funds from your Mom. That alone will start an investigation as to what your mom has been doing with the money and she may be required to pay it all back. Or at the very least, the SSI check will stop going to her immediately and you could choose who gets your check if not going to yourself.

21/f I apologize in advance for length.
A little background:
I've been suffering from clinical depression since I was 16. I had never been sure of why I was so depressed until a couple years ago, realizing it was my incredibly low self-esteem and self-worth issues. I have a self-harm problem and I've tried committing suicide 4 times, ending up in the hospital 3 of those times due to overdose. Therapy and anti-depressant/anxiety meds have helped me.
One of the major side-effects of my depression is my irritability. My annoyances and anger, though I do very well in containing them, have been extreme since my depression surfaced (I tend to think it was being a teenager AND being depressed).
My mom is very passive-aggressive, and always hides her stress and negative emotions, however will lash out in weird ways, like ignoring me, snubbing me or giving me one-word answers. She picks up on my irritability and automatically assumes it's a jab at her, so she responds with ignoring me (which obviously stresses me more). We've sat down and talked about it at least 6 times, I've apologized and told her it's not about her, but it has yet to click.
My last attempt on my life was this April. A few weeks after, I moved in with my newlywed older sister because nearby there was a summer temp job I accepted. My sister commonly reported to my mom (I talked with my mom regularly, so there was no need for her to nose in) that I came straight home, watched Netflix and went to bed. While true, I was proud of myself for finally doing what I wanted (resting physically and emotionally) instead of only doing things for others, like hanging out with them, and exhausting myself, which would worsen my condition, stress me out, and make me irritable, starting the pattern again.
2 months of living with them, my temp job was ending in a week in a half. I came home, and my step-dad and sister's husband were waiting for me. They informed me that after my temp job, I was no longer welcome to live back at my mom's house. Therefore, would need to find a job, place to stay, place for my dog to stay, insurance, title and plates on car, etc, and my source of income was ending 1 and 1/2 weeks. They left me home alone the rest of the weekend with that news. My boyfriend was worried and called them for help since he was far away and my mom replied "There's nothing we can do."
Luckily my dad has taken me in while I find a job and save for a place, but he lives in a small trailer (his construction project for now), and there's no room for my Husky, so he's still at my sisters.
From what I've heard, it seemed to my sister and her husband that I was not improving. They have not discussed that notion with me, but reported it to my mom. My mom now is growing stomach ulcers. Unfortunately, with the way she handles stress (she doesn't...), I saw this coming. She didn't want her health to suffer more so they didn't want me back. They thought I should be improving since they found out about my condition 1 year and a half ago (it's been going on FAR longer). They also don't want to "enable" my depression...
It just screwed up my finally-budding confidence to have my life flipped upside-down like this. I know they don't hate me, but my depressed side is hard to convince. It's not my fault that I have this stupid condition. I would wish it away in a heartbeat. But it's also not my fault that her health has suffered. My sister got married and mom was almost in charge of the whole thing, and now my sister's pregnant (good news, still a lot of planning, etc.) My younger brother has no interest in college, drinks underage against her wishes, causes a lot of trouble. He moved out of state with this girlfriend we all hated, she cheated months after, now he's back home. My mom's job is also a insurance claims manager. Basically all this to say I am NOT her only stress, however I do understand it's a rather large chunk. But... That months earlier in the hospital she was saying that she wanted me to understand how special I was, and then to turn around and basically say she can't handle me any more? It crushed me after I was finally making progress with myself. Now I have to start over.
It's been two weeks since living with my dad. My dad is trying to force me to call my mom. I CAN'T. I. CAN'T. I'm in the shock/anger stage of things. Calling her would only result in anger and yelling, and would just stress her out. But my dad's playing the "dad" card and trying to make his 21 year-old do something she's not ready for (yeah, good luck buddy). I'm just so angry, and the few friends that I've told have been so understanding, but no one else in the situation seems to get why I'm so upset about this (my sister, mom, dad, etc.) I'm not tooooo sure of what I'm asking here, I guess... Can anyone shed some light on the subject? Does anyone else understand how I feel? Am I justified in not feeling ready to call my mom? Thanks for listening.

I agree with advice man that your family is totally lacking in knowledge of what depression is, how to handle it. A good doctor will know that it is important to not just see the patient but meet and talk to the rest of the family. Your mom isn't the only parent to have to deal with the stress of a clinically depressed child. I have one too and she has a child and has gone off the map, cutting herself off from all family with no way to know where she's at. My stress could be the worry of how my grandchild is fairing. All I can do is pray. And I agree, Mom has other stresses besides you but she's not doing well at handling them emotionally and mentally and may have great need of a mental health professional herself.

All you can do for sure tho is get yourself in to see someone. You need someone to help you with these issues. I really think that in Moms current state, unseen or treated by a Dr. that you spending any time with her is only going to make you feel worse. With the little you've shared, as an outsider, I find it suspicious already that the parents are not together and a younger brother is unhappy enough to be in trouble and want to leave home the first chance he has. What does this say about Mom is he'd prefer a messed up girl to living under the same roof with mom. His problems may also be due to Mom. It may be more than just 'stress' issues for Mom. Those who grow up with a mentally ill parent have no idea that their parent has issues, what they see is what they believe to be normal when it may be far from it. Your mention of Mom in charge of most of sisters wedding could be a clue too. Did sister feel incapable of planning her own and having her own choices and wants for her wedding, so she gave the control of it over to Mom? So was this an unwanted responsibility Mom was forced to take on, or did Mom just decide to take charge, and make the choices for your sister and tell her hows its going to be. And sister, instead of standing up to mom, decided to be the passive one and give up and let Mom have her own way. If so,and there is some truth to this wild guess of mine, then your sister either is in fear of mom and trys to stay on her good side by giving control to her, not knowing how to stand up to her. So the sooner you get yourself in to see a Dr. the sooner you might get a Drs request to the parents to have them come in to hear what he/shes discovered about you, and I'd make sure that invite goes out to your sister too as she may have emotional issues at the very least and certainly no more understanding of depression herself. And a good Dr. will ask to see each of them at least once privately if they suspect and problems with other family members. When my husbands parents had marriage issues and got a counselor, the counselor asked to meet with each of the three kids separately. When my husbands turn came, the counselor was impressed with my husbands intelligence for a highly functioning autistic and decided to become his mentor for free at a time when little was known about autism. You need some support right now and your family looks least likely, but a mental health doctor is the most likely. If you have a church, I would go talk to the pastor about your living situation to find something really stable and stress free for you.

Less than two months ago my ex broke things off out of nowhere over text, things were starting to disconnect and the hype of summer about to start. There was never exact reasons it was just the most messy breakup and he just flipped on me and was done with relationships. Earlier this month, less than two months since our serious relationship he's dating this new girl who he said he didn't like and they've been posting over social media together. It's just weird and hypocritical...We were at a running camp together last week where he grinded and slow danced with another girl and then texted me apologizing about hurting me.. Since then we've been texting like our usual close friends way like we did right before we dated. What is he doing?

There are two main things needed for a healthy relationship, being romantically & sexually compatible, and the other, being closest of friends. You don't know why he broke up so you're going to have to ask cus I don't know if you became physical or he didn"t feel a spark from just holdin hands and kissing. But merely applying logic here, if he is pursuing you along friendship veins right now, then it would seem his issue was certainly not that he felt you both had nothing in common to remain friends. that would leave only the romance side of things not being to his liking. Or perhaps the intensity of his feeling or how fast the relationship developed scared him and he needed time to pull away for a bit to think about it. I've had grown men do that. Its the way they process things and they can scare and get confused. A younger man may not know how to handle such a thing correctly, asking for space and alone time to think and just panic and break up in a totally fumbled way. So there's always a chance he came around faster to feeling he still likes you but now feels a stupid fool for the mess he got himself in and doesnt know how to restart things with you. He may have thought in desperation to ask some girl he doesnt like, to date him only for the purpose of trying to make you jealous so that you will want him back. Its a dumb childish action but yes, many of us are that dumb and naive when young and do such silly things when it comes to relationships. If he were really into his new girlfriend, he wouldn't have time to be texting you all the time and also apologizing? He is taking some steps to test the waters and see if you are responsive in a good way towards him or whether there is no longer a chance with you. So you need to have a good face to face talk. This way he can't hide anything, you have his facial and body expressions to go along with what he says. You need him to trust you and give you the truth. The only way to really know why he is giving you the time of day, his choice...is to ask. He may not be willing to answer at first, but toss out some scenerio's like the changing of his mind, or did he panic in the relationship at any ppoint or did he start dating the other girl to make you jealous. He needs to know that honesty is going to be what you ask of him and that you'll take nothing less.
Then again, he may think himself to be quite the ladys man and think he wants 3 or 4 women all hooked on him at once, thinking he's the best thing since the invention of chocolate! In that case, if you want to be monogamous rather than share him, you need to know if this is his goal and if so, let him know, if thats what he wants for his life, thats okay. Nothing wrong with that as long as all those involved are in full knowledge of it and okay with it. You happen not to be and so you ask him to stop pursuing you to add to a collection of girlfriends. Talk and telling of the truth is the only way you'll get the information you need to be able to make a decision as to what your next action is.

I've been having this for awhile. I have natural har and get scabs all over my scalp and when they get scratched away they burn and hurt. I also get pimples, they get worse when I get my hair braided or put in some styles. I tried head and shoulders. I make sure to moisturize my scalp. My scalp gets dry and scabs after a day or two. The dandruff just falls out of my hair. Is this sebhorreic dermatitis or something else?

Hey I've got a scalp problem too. My doctor has seen it twice and I'm going again tomorrow cus the treatments of special shampoo and stuff has helped. Its usually a slow process of trying one thing after another for any doctor to find what works.So even if you've seen a doctor before, please keep going back and ask to see a dermatologist and get a referall for that cus its the only way you're going to finally get your problems taken care of.

I am currently 15 years old soon turning 16, I have c cup sized boobs may go onto D size. My nipples are rarely out and I know that they are NOT inverted, they are flat and my areolas are big, light coloured and puffy. I want to know if they will stay this way forever, I wanna be able to breastfeed in the future.... What's going on? And will this be a problem for a future baby??

No, it shouldnt be a problem at all. All newborns days old can have troubles latching on but the suckling instinct is so strong that I've seen babies held by a bare chested dad turn and start to suckle at him. That said, some can have trouble getting started, its not you and the way your nipple and breasts are designs but often just the babes own issues latching on. There are tricks I've heard to help with breastfeeding and there are classes to teach that. There is an organization called the La Leche Leage, its french for Milk and they're located around the world and in the US. My daughter used them for help, I never needed them. But this is what they focus and specialize in. They can also teach how to save up milk for a time you might be away so dad or a sitter can feed your milk thru a bottle. There are other issues involved with breast feeding that they tackle and no ones ever said to me that this organization was unable to help them.

I can't say if your nipple will look the same for ever, but when milk comes in, the size of the breast definately grows as it fills with milk and I can't say but the nipple might change. Heres a link to the La Leche folks online:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb.html

Hi I am from Australia, and my friends and I are teenagers. I don't want to be friends with my best friend anymore. The problem is, I feel like I can't. She is in my friend group, and she's the only one in my friend group that's in my class. She is VERY sensitive that it is beginning to annoy me. She would jump to conclusions and then think to herself that "that must be what's happening", when it's not. Then she goes and crys to our friends about something that she thinks is going on. Then I walk over to my friends and she's crying to them and they're all comforting her while I look like I'm such a bad friend. Like one time she cried to my friends because she lost her gluestick lid and thought I had it and I was hiding it (which I wasn't) and then she cried to the girls about it! Is it just me or does that seem like something a 2 year old would do NOT a teenager! My friends don't see how sensitive she is and they think I'm the one that is rude, because I don't cry to them over like basically nothing! What do I do? I have tried to just not do anything that makes her upset but really, she gets upset somehow! Over legit the assumptions she makes and believes are true!

If there are problems or stresses in her family life, that could be affecting her emotions so she can't handle simple things any more.
Considering we're talking about a teen female, its way more likely that the hormones of going through puberty are affecting her. Anytime from the onset of puberty until graduating HS, its common to see females in this age range lose control of their emotions. I am sad this isn't taught to young women to expect this along with expecting to get a period. I went through it, my sisters did, my daughters did, and all my friends did...it is something that affects the emotions. The regular levels of hormonal changes will make the more negative emotions more obvious and pronounced. So sadness and anger are affected. One can become more weepy and cry at the drop of a hat, for no good reason. More common is easily being annoyed or ticked off by someone, usually other females close to you such as m0m, sisters and girlfriends. She needs to be told that this is what she is going through so that she can attempt to control herself better, and you knowing this helps you to not take things personally and know its a passing phase of life.

Now the bad news: our world has gotten pretty toxic and is filled with synthetic versions of the female hormones all around in our environment that our bodies start to soak up so that by time we hit puberty and our bodies start to release more, we are hit by an overload. This doesnt happen to all of us but it does to enough girls. What happens in this case on the sadness part being out of control is girls becoming depressed, suicidal or into cutting themselves. On the anger side, well, they become real bitchy and mean and attempt to hurt others verbally and/or physically, lots of out of control yelling. It doesnt sound like she is on overload but she needs to know whats going on with her. Tell your mom that you think this is happening to her. If mom knows your friends mom, perhaps she will say something, or ask the friend to ask her mom about teen girls hormonal based emotion issues, ask if mom had it. We all get it so some degree, some very light cases, in my case I got weepy, irritated easily but knew to go to my own room and remove myself from the rest of family when I felt that way so I never lashed out in anger. My daughters though bickered between themselves and I had to remind them that no situation warranted the actions they were taking and they only felt that way cus of their hormones and had to encourage them to each seek alone time to calm down. Until your friend knows its not you or anyone else making her feel this way, she's going to blame you and everything else in the world for how she's feeling.

So I've been keeping up with my thigh gap workout to keep my thigh gap in shape ... so few weeks ago I started watching videos on youtube ..I've been trying thigh gap workouts inner thigh workouts like crazy.....so i started doing it for about 15 mins or so ..I did cardio workouts, about 50 squats which i do everyday to keep mu body in shape I do ..frog jump excerise and a lot more ..after I was done I tooked a shower and went to bed . Next morning I woke up, my left side back below my butt was hurting so much . I screamed while getting off the bed , my legs is wobbley when I walk ...both ...and my left butt side hurts so much when I sit .. do I got a problem with my muscles ..? Its common to have these symptoms right? Please tell me right. I cant lift up my leg at all. I try not doing excerice for the entire day but it hurts more ...what should I do? School is on monday and im freaking out that im not gonna be ok walking down and up on the 3rd floor
.!!! 1more day until school and im sore badly. !!!

As we all usually start off, we're not doctors and even a Dr. isn't allowed to guess by just reading what you wrote and give a diagnosis, tests and scans and such need to be done.

I would think that you got a little exuberant and pushed your muscles beyond what could be considered a healthy amount of stress on them to strengthen them. When that happens, its common to have sore muscles and even some pain. Usually a person would be told to ice sore painful muscles. I am adding a link to a blog about the difference of applying ice or heat and how to's.
http://www.doctoroz.com/blog/michael-neely-do/ice-it-or-heat-it

Dr.s may suggest ibuprofen to help during the period of recovery while muscles are still causing pain and soreness. I over did my leg muschles once when in early twenties and on a womens soccer team. I over exercised my legs and then played a Fri and Sat game. When it came to Sunday morning at church and kneeling for prayer, I found I could not get back up. My brain sent the message to my legs and I felt them trying but no power behind them as they were over strained and I needed help getting into my chair again. I couldn't get my legs to work for me no matter what. They recovered in time. So it may be the same deal for you. However, I do know also from Chiropracters that muscles if too tight can help to pull bones out of alignment, not badly but enough to cause pain. Perhaps your lower back is being pulled out of alignment. Theres no way to know if you just need a few days to recover back to normal or if you will require Drs. help. I would suggest taking it very easy for the weekend. NO exercise at all, as little walking and standing as possible and probably icing it.
However, you also need to advise your parents as to what is going on in case you are not fully recovered by Monday for school. They will need to write to note to the school for you to take in to the office, so you can get excused from any gym or sports team activities and also given the grace of extra time to make it traveling between classes if your legs slow you down that much.

In the future, learn to know what is a healthy limit to such exercises. A certain amount is good and strengthens you. Overdoing it can injure you.
If by Monday or end of Monday you are not showing some improvement, then its up to the parents to schedule you to see the family Dr.

My boyfriend and i had dry humping without my underwear but touch vegina but didnt not go in and im also a virgin is it possible im not virgin anymore ?can iget pregrant it

No you are not pregnant but you are playing with fire if you plan to do more of the same without use of birth control. Accidents do happen. The chances are slight but it would be just your luck that of all the teens doing the same, you'd be the one to end up pregnant because some of his precum got near the entrance of your vagina and fertilized an egg, meaning you end up pregnant. His penis doesnt have to be inside you for that to happen, just sperm needs to have a chance to get in there. Either see your family Dr. or go to planned Parenthood to get put on birth control and ask lots of questions about it and proper use and taking of it. They do work with and help lots of teens. According to current law, they have to keep this private and no one, even parents will know.

Recently I added a question but did not register im extremely bad about that. So ill retype my question and hopefully someone can help....so here it is...kinda embarrassing
Im slim thick I have a big breast and a huge butt boys seem to be way to attracted and its killing me they make dirty jokes about me, and touch me the way I dont wanna get touch ...I wrapped my self with a jacket on my waist like all over me. I have no idea what to do. I cannot talk to my parrents about it ...its embarrassing. Im 13 in 8 grade! I dont need this! Gosh im so shy to speak
up I just want to kill myself its like everywhere. I dont want to be a slut. Im really too smart forthat. What should I do to help myself. I really dont like my body for all of this problem. I never earn any respect. ( forget about the sentences underneath having problems with my phone)

Igo.I dont want to be a slug.

everyones given you good advice, same i'd tell you, the touching part is not right and you have to say something to the parents so they can talk to school officials about it. You can't regulate other kids foolish or sexual thoughts but the touching is sexual harassment.
So the issue as I see it, boils down to your shyness which would hold you back from seeking help cus you are so shy and embarassed and self conscious. I think I was the same at your age. I would rather attempt to write with a blunt pencil with no lead left at the tip rather than go to front of the class to use the pencil sharpener as I couldn't handle the idea of anyone staring at or watching me do so. Made me too uncomfortable, I'd rather have remained invisible. eventually as I got to my older teens, mainly the end of junior year, beginning of senior, I became tired of being so shy all the time and prayed to God for help. Here's the idea that popped into my mind that I used to overcome my shyness. It really works and you get to progress at a rate you're comfortable with. You gain self assurance and lose fear of talking to others or joking back.
I know your situation needs to be addressed now so if you can at least tell your mom and ask her to talk to school officials about it, do so. If you are still too embarassed to do that, start working on your shyness as I outline here and then do the part of tellings others who have the authority to do something about it. It would also help if you have an older brother or male cousin who could intimidate the males and warn them to leave you alone or else. But not everyone has that available to them.

Getting over shyness:

Depending on where you're at and what is difficult for you, read thru and start at the point that is hard for you and move through. I had to start with simply smiling at any stranger I met. Won't work with friends and those you know, even classmates you don't talk to but see each day as theres already some kind of excuse to smile at or talk to them, being in same class. Find people you don't know as you come across them, any age, peer age to grandma's and smile at strangres until it becomes easy for you to do. I couldn't do this to start for fear that my smile make encourage them to start talking to me and I was terrified of having to engage in a convo with someone.
Second step, is adding a simple Hi or Hello or Good morning, etc along with your smile, nothing else and continue on about your business.
Third step is repeating the smile and then paying a person a compliment. Perhaps they have colored their hair baby blue and it actually looks good on them, you tell them, "Hey I really like your hair, that color looks good on you." Or a female clerk at the store is wearing some earrings or such that catches your eye. It must be genuine, dont say anything unless you truly mean it. Then compliment her jewelry and say you like it. Most people will answer with a Thank you and nothing more. A few will add a line explaining how they came to get that jewelry, for example, "My daughter got this for me last Mothers day." You can then reply, "Your daughter has good taste, or you're lucky to have a daughter like that." End of convo and you're turn at register is done and you're on your way.
Paying a compliment is an easy way to get used to speaking first to someone you don't know.

Lastly, start a conversation with a stranger that pertains to the situation in which you find yourself. You'll find that most people, even those who are outgoing and friendly, do not tend to start conversations. You will find that about 80 to 90 % of ppeople are the personality types that are friendly and respond favorably to anyone attempting to talk to them or meet them. Only a few are loners who do not like to talk or have anyone else in their personal space around them. Its nothing personal against you, there just are a few like that in the world. In all my going thru these exercises, I never ran into anyone who didnt respond favorably.
So what do you say to start a convo? Heres my favorite example, helping mom as a teen with grocery shopping. I was sent to pick out some cantalope. I got to the display and a woman moms age was choosing watermelon, tapping and listening to it. I asked what she was doing...see...this pertains to the situation in where i find myself. She explained it was how she tested for one that was ripe. And demonstrated with examples for me to listen to the differences. I thanked her and ask if she knew a way to tell when cantelope is ripe and she showed me. End of conversation. As you can see, it became helpful to me when I started the conversation, and I learned something that I use to this day information wise about choosing melons. And got to enjoy a really sweet but not unripe or over ripe melon. Communication is important in life. Life can't happen easily or problems be resolved or information gained without some kind of communication. This will help you gain confidence in speaking out when need be. Once you get to this point, you will be able to respond to guys wolf whistles with the comment, "You wish...in your dreams!" and laugh as you continue on. Le me know how it goes for you if you decide to work on overcoming your shyness and remember that the goal here is to not allow any males to do any sort of sexual harassment towards you.

First off I am a girl who's 19 and I have always liked men but a while ago I met a new coworker who is also a female and instantly felt a connection with her and I’ve had a crush on her ever since. Were freinds on social media and it seems like she could be bisexual because she has posts of her with another girl that other people commented things like “your such a cute couple” but she also has posts with guys. I’ve liked her for about 6 months now, and she recently got a boyfriend. I’m not sure when or if either of us is going to leave the job but I just got a better one and if things go we’ll I’ll probably be leavig in a few months also, I have a feeling she might be leaving too. But I still like her and need to know if she ever liked me to move on, I wouldn’t be asking her to dump her boyfreind and go out with me, I just want to know if she ever liked me or had a crush on me. And I’m not sure how to say it because if she isn’t bisexual and is against it then I don’t want to offend her or wierd her out so how should I word it? And do you think it’s a good idea to tell her?

For what its worth, my two cents. When it comes to approaching and talking to someone you are attracted to, no matter the sex, its hard cus there aren't any real clear cut ways to do so, it varies with the situation. It becomes more difficult when its not straight hetero couples, but the subject of one being gay or bi or being transgender and not knowing where the other stands on their sexuality or gender id.

While I do agree that in general, it is not a wise choice to approach and tell someone how you feel if they are known to be in a relationship already, when it comes to bi-sexuality, I believe a different set of rules could apply depending on the situation. So there is some info you would need before being able to proceed. And in this case, for lack of any better idea, I'd have to vote for Angels idea. It truly is easier for a person sometimes to divulge personal info on a social site and to a stranger rather than to one they know and see on a regular basis in real life for the same reason you have, not wanting to make anything awkward between you in the future if working together.

I have known several bi-sexual women and most were married and had bi female loves on the side. However I've also met women who identified themselves as bi sexual but monogamous or bisexual and polyamorous. And this is another important piece of information needed besides their sexual preference. Those who can't handle more than one relationship at a time engage in serial monogamy, one at a time relationship until one ends and the next starts. A gal may only date a male and when they split up, take to dating a female next, but only one. then there are those who entertain having more than one sweetheart in their life at a time, whether married or not, there are women who will have relationship scenerios of seeing multiple men and women, multiple men and only one female, multiple females and only one man. And then there are the bi-curious, who when they feel something for one female when generally they've not known themselves to be bisexual at all, and that is something i can understand. To this day, there is only one female I've felt a sexual draw to, otherwise I have no interest in females at all, zero, only in males. If one believes in reincarnation there could be an explanation of having lived previous lives as the other sex or having known that soul in a previous life. I have in this life met people who believe they've known me before in another life and have said so without me having to bring it up tho I've felt it too. I believe some, not all of gay couples may have known each other before one as the male and one as the female and in this life, as now same sex simply for the experience and the difficulties it presents in our culture and of course the personal growth opportunities of going thru something so difficult. So it may be that you are not in fact bi-sexual but due to odd circumstances as I've mentioned which may be a long shot for some to believe, that a person can feel a connection emotionally or sexually to someone of the same sex and yet not truly be gay or bi-sexual. Don't go forcing yourself into a way of life because of this connection you feel that it must be so in all circumstances for she may be the only one in your entire life you will feel this way about.

That all said, to avoid the awkwardness of asking her what her sexual preference is and if she is okay with dating both a male and female at the same time if bi, it might be a good idea to attempt to casually gather this info on a social media site while pretending to be someone else.

Even if she reveals she is okay with all that, when you do approach her in real life, she may not feel the same strength of connection to you that you felt for her or may feel it only on an emotional friendship level rather than a romantic one. People have forgotten that long before society has become more open about sexual preferences and identity, that women in the past had such close relationships as friends, feeling more like blood relations, sister, mother aunt, with the depth of feelings and really close connections with each other where neither had any romantic or sexual attractions to each other. I come from the last of those generations and can remember having girlfriends like that, so close we could share all sorts of secrets with each other, emotional intimacy that we didnt have with others, and our hearts would overflow with a love for that person. The depth of a love feeling doesnt always have to be a romantic/sexual one. You love your mom or sis,female cousin or aunt but you dont always form a close bond with all, and neither do you IF having a close bond, feel any romantic sexual feelings to these people. Thats the reality in life. So you can have such feelings for her and it NOT be something that means you have to become a 'dating couple'. You can just become a close friend and have the connection you have. You only mention how you felt a connection and that you're coworkers, but nothing about having an actual friendship with her away from work. Being her (non-dating-non romantic) girlfriend would not interfere with her current relationship with boyfriend. It will give you time to mull over what you feel if you spend more time together If you even have things in common to do together, and you may come to realize, its nothing more than just one of the deepest friendships you could ever have. Often the younger people of today, have no idea that such friendships can exist and have never had such a deep friendship and therefore assume it must be a sign of something more. So if not currently doing so, ask her if she'd like to spend some time together as friends outside of work. Work buddies usually are just friends at work and dont enter your life as friends outside of work. That only happened to me a couple times, two gals when I was your age range and one female when I was turning 40. Well, this has been a lot more info than you probably expected but i felt it important that you hear it all to help you decide what path you will take. Good luck.

I'm a 11th grader female. I got a crush on a close friend and he kind of found out. It was awkward for a while but we settled things and decided dating wasn't for us and we still want to be friends. We were still friends and he willingly talked to me a lot even though I did feel things weren't the same as before... but both were okay with that. Anyways, now the new school started and he doesn't talk to me. During the summer we only spoke once when he asked for my snapchat username but even then it seemed like he didn't wanna talk to me too much. I really haven't made an attempt to talk to him either because I don't know if I should. I don't like him as a crush anymore but do as a friend. He is a great person and I want to resume our friendship. However, I'm scared to talk to him since I don't know if he wants to talk to me and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. But I'm not sure if the reason he isn't talking to me is because I am not. It's weird because sometimes it seems like he is looking at me during class but I don't know if that means anything or it's my imagination. I have been purposely avoiding him too so it doesn't get awkward but I guess he has kind of been too. I don't think he hates or dislikes me as a person but I don't know why he is acting that way. Should I talk to him?

Well, all I can say is that as long as both of you have chosen for whatever reasons or fears to not talk to each other, both of you are going to continue to feel awkward around each other leaving things unsettled between you. You did say: I'm scared to talk to him since I don't know if he wants to talk to me and I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

Whats the first thing a teacher tells you when the school year starts? If you don't know something or understand something, just ask. There is no stupid question." I agree with all that, its what is an important thread woven through the lives of all, without communicating, a
person can not effectively navigate through life. So its one of the most important things you can learn to do is to ask...
It's a given that females are not going to understand males all the time, especially their actions. They may think that keeping silent and staying away is "Helping you get over an awkward situation, less emotionally traumatizing to you and have no clue that their actions or words do actually the opposite of what they think. For the record, some guys do figure this out, especially those who are very observant and ask questions or perhaps grew up with sisters but I have in my life come across several men after my divorce and before the next husband, who pulled the same silent treatment on me thinking they were helping rather than hurting me.

Think about it dear, not matter what the situation is, whats going on in his mind, if he cares enough to not want to see you hurt, he may think it best to not talk to you. You say you catch him watching you alot. It shows he still cares about you as a person and is liking wondering how you are emotionally doing handling things. Someone has to speak first and with the way guys reason out their actions, its more likely that he wont talk first. So its up to you.

So, instructions for starting a convo with him are in order. No matter what you say, you need to begin with giving him the okay to say anything he needs to and assure him you want the truth, over trying to protect your feelings, and a promise to not get overly emotional and out of control. You just want to understand what is going on for him and the reason for his silence and then you will explain the reason for your silence because you are part to blame...having chosen silence up til that moment.

I will say right now that a guy and gal who can be the best of friends is a good thing. It can be complicated if one begins to have romantic feelings and the other doesn't and that one ends up stuck in the friend zone and not seen as a potential bf/gf. I do know that when one finds out how the other feels, there is a period of time where things feel awkward for the one who was blindsided by this news. They need time to digest it all properly and any immediate actions they take or things they say may be a way to give themselves time to digest it all and these off the cuff instant reactions may end up sending the wrong message, one that once they've have time to deal with their feelings on the topic, the surprised person has figured out how to personally deal with the situation in their mind but lack the know how of what to do to "continue the friendship" as in your case.
The best of long term relationships is based on a foundation of two things, being each others best friend and being the best match romantically and sexually. We tend to assume that if we don't have feelings of romantic desire and attraction from the start that it will never be in a relationship. However, couples who are best of friends have a better chance of having a solid and happy loving relationship together than those who have skipped the friendship part and gone straight to the romance and sex part and then once in love, find out later that they really do not make good friends and the relationship as a result has its troubles or is very rocky. Often one or both of a couple of friends begin to take for granted that this is only a friendship and never can be more and have somehow, never been curious or entertained the thought that there could be anything more, just assuming there can't be. But its not a conclusion due to trying and checking that part out. Just the comfortableness of being stuck in the rut of whats familiar cus its less scary to think about.
I've heard it all and find it sometimes takes the shock of breaking up as friends or the rejected one moving on to date someone that lets the one discover much to their surprise that they have feelings for the other, feeling jealous of the date, or feeling lonesome and missing them once they don't have the easy cameraderie anymore.

So when you talk to him, be prepared for anything. He may have felt sure if/when he said he had no such feelings for you or just began to avoid you. And it may still be the case but he still wants you as his friend. On the other hand, he's had time to get over the shock of the revelation that you were crushing on him and had time to really think about it and again discovered much to his surprise that he indeed does have feelings for you. Romance or love can be an instant roaring fire between two individuals when they meet, or it can start out as a small spark that slowly grows to become as great a fire than those who both felt it instantly. In the end, both are just as strong or great a love. So not to get your hopes up or anything, but another reason he may be keeping silent is that he know realizes he cares romantically about you but already told you or acted like he didn't and feels he would look and seem foolish to now tell you that he feels the opposite. Due to age and inexperience or fears of his own, he isn't sure how you will recieve the news, maybe afraid you'd think he was toying with your feelings, just playing around, or the impression he's gotten that you have moved on and no longer have a crush or feelings for him, make him feel its useless or hopeless to reveal his change of feelings now. If he keeps looking at you as he does, its either missing the friendship or not knowing how to explain his change of view now and thinking its too late. If the two of you are as close friends as you say, then there is always a chance for both of you if in agreement to give it a chance, that romance could blossom between you. Its a matter of actually facing ones fears and awkward feelings. Our emotions can lead us astray from what we really want in life so we never try. I have found that if I face a fear, once I take an action, the fear instantly disappears. Fear is nothing more than a bully who boasts and makes themselves out to be scarier than the real life situation will ever be.;

So now you have a well explained reason for why you should talk to him and some idea of what needs to be discussed and said. If at any point, he does not reveal enough information, like you still sensing he's holding back, say so. Ask what it is he's not sharing. You are female and as such have naturally a womans intuition. Learn to rely on it, going with hunches, enough to ask questions. Your intuition is useless if you only sit and wonder for the rest of your life instead of using it to pose the questions in life that may make a big difference for you. Good luck dear.

So my question is can black girl get any disease in Portugal and if can whick and can she convey them to other people?

You didnt specify whether just regular illnesses if planning to go on vacation to that country or whether you are concerned about sexual diseases if planning to relocate to live there??
If planning on a regular short term vacation trip, talk to your family doctor and ask if there is anything you need to be vaccinated against before traveling to this country.
Some Americans traveling to other countries have had problems with drinking the local water as it results in getting diarrhea real bad and they must stick with bottled water. People who grew up in a foreign country are used to some things in water or even types of food that would cause a reaction in a visitor and theres no protective shot for that, just wise practices of drinking bottled water when in a foreign country.

If you are talking about going to live there and wondering what sexually transmitted diseases you can catch, it doesnt matter what race you are or what country you are from, if you do not practice safe sex, use condoms and better yet, get yourself tested and your potential new sex partner tested beforehand, then just about anyone has a chance of catching a sexually transmitted disease. If I've totally misunderstood, then please restate your question with a little more info so others here have a better chance to help you with advice.

Ok. Well, this is awkward. So I might as well start from the beginning. I'm 12 year old. Last August, (I was 11) I was having issues "down there". My vagina was itchy and sore. It was like this for about a week and a half. Then, the next day, I noticed a brown spot in my blue panties. (Could have been red, I don't know or care.) So I was suspicious that it was my first period before, but now I was almost certain. So I know that at some point, I would have to tell my mom about it. So I did the sensible thing at the time, and texted her. She didn't have anything, so she went to the store and got me stuff. I put one on, and come to find out a few hours later, that there's nothing there! I was so mad that I worked up the courage to tell her, and it wasn't even REAL! So I never actually told her what really happened. So flash forward to one year later. It's July. I'm 12 now. I'm pretty sure that my mom caught on that I wasn't having periods since that one day in August. But now it's July, and I'm at my grandparents house like I am every Tuesday. It's 98 degrees out, so they take me and my little brother and sister to the pond. When I go to change into my bathing suit, I use the toilet, and while wiping, I notice reddish pinkish on the paper. I know it's my period (for real this time). I put on my bathing suit, and just hope that nothing gets on it. When I get back, I went to use the toilet and change out of my bathing suit, there's nothing in my bathing suit, but sure enough, when I wipe, there's blood there. Now as I said, I'm at my grandparents, and I'll be there until about 8pm. I'm not going to go ask them if they have any pads. "Hey Mimi! Got any pads I can use😊?" No. Just no. So every couple hours I switch out the toilet paper I shoved in my pants. So the next day, I have camp at my moms art school. It's from 10-1. I don't say anything. But tomorrow (day 3 of my period), I forgot that my aunts and uncles and cousins and Grammy, (on my moms side) were taking a trip to Martha's Vineyard for the day. I was screwed. I still have told no one. I don't have any older cousins. I could tell my aunts who I'm really close with, but I don't. I continue use toilet paper every couple hours. Until it's time to go to the beach… so we get to the beach. I don't have my bathing suit on yet. But here's the problem- there's no bathhouse! So we have to barricade with blankets. My 2 of my aunts and my Grammy haven't changed yet either. So we change and walk to the beach. I'm so worried it will leak or leave a stain. It's not a heavy flow, but enough that it could happen. We spent about 4 hours on the beach. We went to the bathhouse after we left the beach, and luckily nothing was there. So I keep using toilet paper for the 2 more days that my period lasts. I try and plan out when I will get my period in August. If its regular, I'll get it again August 28 - September 1. Which sucks because that would mean I have it on the first day of school. Fast forward to now. It's August 20. I went to the bathroom this morning and saw it. I was like oh crap. I wasn't expecting that for another week! And I was planning on waiting for August to tell my mom, and here I am! I don't know how to tell her. What the heck do I say? I've already been here before, but now it's the second time. "Hey mom, my period is here." "Again?" "Yeah." "Please explain yourself." *sits there and looks dumb* so anyway, please answer ASAP! Once again, GIRLS ONLY!!

Its actually very normal for a girls body to have false starts and lots of delays and stops of period along the way as her body struggles to get used to how to do this new thing regularly. Call it irregular periods. Does your Mom not use pads or have anything like that in the house? I would assume she's young enough to not have gone into menopause yet. There must be something she can give you in a pinch but its best that you find what product/brand you like best and then have mom keep the bathroom stocked with such items regularly. So go ahead and tell your mom that you had a false start last time and this time you believe you have a real period and you dont' know how regular it will be for a while at your age but ask her to always keep stuff on hand for you. If you go swimming often enough to pools or beach or wear tight pants or bathing suit and worry about the bulge of a pad showing thru thin clothing, you may want to learn how to use a tampon too. It takes practice and not every girl gets it right the first time, in fact I didn't, neither did my sisters, neither did any of my daughters. The problem is that the period liquid may not be a good enough lubricant for the plastic tampon applicator to slide in easily so you may also want to ask Mom if she has a personal lubricant you can apply to the applicator to help it go in. The 2nd problem is girls don't push it in far enough, it needs to go past the ring of muscles near the entrance, even long after a hymen is broken, any woman who doesnt insert it far enough in will experience that uncomfortable feeling of something in the way you feel when you walk or move or sit. You can't lose it in there, it can only go as far as your cervix and dead ends there. the vagina is only 3 to 4 inches long and the tampon has a string on it to pull to remove it so get it in far enough. Your mom went through her own version of the same thing. few girls have their first period start regualary and show up like clockwork real regular every month from the first time. At 14, I still had problems with irregular periods that ranged from a day to the 5 days, and came twice a month or not at all for 3, 4 months before starting up again. By time I reached my late teens and I regular and remained the same until I reached menopause and began to go thru a version of the same irregular, never know when I'd get it stuff all over again. You need to learn to always carry an emergency pad in a ziploc baggy in your purse or jacket pocket if no purse. If you forget to restash your purse and are caught without, ask the school nurse, or if the restrooms have supplies of pads or tampons, purchase one or borrow change from a friend to get one, or if you feel comfortable asking a friend to loan you one, do so. I have been caught out shopping, away from home without a pad in my purse and used toilet paper if I was spotting and just starting but it disintregrates fairly quickly and doesnt have the absorbancy that pads are made to have, tp is only for an emergency of a few hours til you can purchase something or go home to get, but not meant to be used for all day long consecutively for days. I also find that just wiping myself, sometimes, some tp stays behind in the folds of my skin or gets slightly worked its way into the vagina. I am much older and have a husband and am still sexually active and he has on several occasions discovered tp stuck in wadded up bits down there. the problem with this is that if any tp gets stuck up inside you, the same as forgetting you are still wearing a tampon for days after the period, it can cause real problems from causing a vaginal infection with the tp to toxic shock syndrome with the tampon. So I would suggest that you learn to become comfortable with yourself by using a mirror, looking at yourself down there, exploring yourself, with clean fingers, down there. You need to become comfortable with your own natural monthly cleansing fluids of whitish to yellowish deposits on your panties and know what that smells like. If you know what your natural good smell is, it will be easier to identify when you have an off odor, something fishy or rotten smelling when you dont even have a period. I hope this is enough beginner instruction. If you need any other info. let me know. But just talk to Mom. If she asks if you are really sure this time, tell her you think so but remind her, you know how irregular a girls period can be at first, maybe I am getting some of that.

Hi everyone! I'm new here and have been struggling with my romantic and sexual orientations. My feelings seem to be very contradictory and so I was hoping for some outside perspectives.

I'm 22, female, and for a few years now have identified as biromantic bisexual, though I am not sure how accurate that is. I'm just gonna reel off relevant information to try and give you a thorough picture of my experience with romance/sexuality thus far (it's pretty long but I don't know how else to explain everything fully):

As a child I experienced infatuations with both boys and girls, which generally involved a desire to be with, to touch (non-sexually) and to kiss that person. However, these were often quite fleeting and not always based in any sort of depth/reality, more an idea of that person. The only infatuation which seemed more substantial was, at age ten, with my best female friend. We were close and I found myself wanting to be with her all the time, feeling butterflies at the thought of seeing her, wanting her and I to be a pair - more accurately, a couple, which I didn't realise at the time. My first best friend as a child was a boy whom I didn't feel any romantic attraction towards, but whom I had an incredible bond with, stronger than anything I have experienced since with any of my friends - I am not, and never have been, a touchy-feely person, but would hold hands with him and be very tactile with him. But it was definitely not at all romantic in nature. (I mention this because it could be relevant later on.)

As an early/mid teenager in high school, dating became a big social pressure, and I had lots of crushes on boys. It was also at this time that I became aware and accepted that I was sexually attracted to women, though this was something I compartmentalised and shut off from in my everyday life, I imagine because of the overwhelming heteronormativity and homophobia of high school. Again, almost all of my crushes on boys began with pinning an idea onto them and didn't have that much depth (though they were often not fleeting and could be very intense for months). I had some crushes on girls as well, always friends (whereas with boys they were usually people I knew of or at the most were acquainted with), but because I never realised at the time that that's what they were, I didn't latch on to the idea and focused instead on my male crushes.

Aged 14 - 16 I experienced more substantial and reciprocated feelings for four different guys, and in each of these cases there was sexual desire, a feeling of emotional connection, and the desire to be in a romantic relationship. Throughout these years I fantasised sexually about men and women equally, but still shut off from my sexual attraction to women in my daily life.

However, at 17, after around 6 months of nothing romantic or sexual, I became infatuated with an online female friend, and it was the first time I acknowledged the feelings for what they were. I felt deeply emotionally connected to her, overwhelmingly sexually attracted to her, and definitely wanted to be in a romantic relationship with her, and imagined us being together, kissing, touching etc. It was after a while of this that I began to question my sexuality, as up to this point I had identified as straight (though not exclusively). Nothing ever came of this as she didn't feel the same, but from then on it really was like I had had an epiphany, I began to properly acknowledge my feelings and attraction for women and as soon as I had done so, found that I just felt no desire for men any more. For the most part it wasn't that I hated the idea of being with men, it was just that the idea of being with men paled in comparison to the idea of being with women. At 18 I fell, again, for an online female friend (I was somewhat of a recluse for those two years and didn't socialise much in person) though this time the emphasis was more on the romantic and emotional feelings, and much less on the sexual.

Through the three years of 17 - 19, I felt very little romantic or sexual attraction to men, and was very preoccupied with my feelings and attraction for women, which was without a doubt both romantic and sexual, and very much wanted a girlfriend (which didn't happen). For about a year I even felt repulsed at the idea of being with men sexually.

After this, I unexpectedly grew romantically and sexually attracted to a male friend, who felt the same, and we ended up seeing one another. For the first 7 months of our relationship my sexual interest was strong, but I felt incredibly uncomfortable with many of the romantic aspects: people knowing we were seeing each other, meeting his parents, playing the 'girlfriend' role (I say playing because it felt like acting), holding hands in public, romantic rituals etc. After that 7 months my sexual desire for him began to wane, and then I began to feel very uncomfortable with kissing and anything sexual. I would try to make myself enjoy it and end up in tears, feeling sick and invaded. It is worth noting that a few months after this began I started taking anti-depressants, which lowered my sex drive further, and our relationship became very dysfunctional. I kept feeling throughout the relationship that I wanted to be in a relationship with a woman, sometimes I would feel entirely gay and almost feel closeted by the relationship (even though he knew and was supportive.) He was in love with me but as much as I loved him (and still do), I wasn't in love with him and knew that I never would be.

We broke up a year ago, and I was happy to be single - being single feels to me like my natural state, and I seem always to feel somewhat stifled simply by being in a relationship, no matter how healthy it is. I was also decided on not letting myself get into anything serious with a man again, though I still felt attractions to men and women. However, four months later (this January), I ended up seeing another, newer, male friend, and we are still together now. At the beginning I was sexually attracted to him, and we've always clicked emotionally, but I didn't feel any desire for a romantic relationship. The romantic side came about more because he wanted a romantic relationship, and as I had become attached to him and enjoyed being with him, I agreed to it, though (for me) we also agreed to be polyamorous.

We became very tactile and very emotionally close quickly, but I was still very uncomfortable with the romantic aspects. After a few months, my sexual desire began to wane, and now unfortunately it has reached the point, as in with my previous relationship, where I try to make myself enjoy sexual things and just end up in tears, feeling that something is very wrong. In my past relationship I thought it could've been attributed to the dysfunctional nature of it, but my current relationship is very supportive and healthy. I very rarely enjoy kissing him, or any man, but whenever I've kissed women (always at clubs or parties) it's felt like, 'Oh, so this is how kissing's supposed to feel.' I can tell that he feels very strongly for him romantically, and is maybe falling in love with me, but again, I love him and care for him deeply, but I am not in love with him, and can tell that I won't be. As we become closer I care for him more but don't feel any more romantically for him.

With both of these relationships they have been more like very strong, intense friendships, with more non-sexual touching than would usually be in my friendships, a deep emotional connection, and at the beginning a sexual desire that disappears over time. I feel more romantically for women and more attracted to women, when I think about being in a romantic and sexual relationship with a woman it feels right, I crave it, but it comes more naturally to me to flirt with men (which may be socialised) and I seem to form deep emotional bonds with men easier, even though I am less sexually attracted to them and tend to feel uncomfortable being romantic with them.

I can make my own conclusions from this but I would like some unbiased, outside perspectives as I think it would be very helpful. So, basically, what conclusions would you draw from all this about my romantic and sexual orientations?

Hello dear. While I think a label is not important as peoples sexual and romantic practices vary as greatly as do people and their personalities. I don't believe its something that is always easy to box up nice and neat with a label. But I can imagine you want to be able to understand it and explain it to any you meet in the future in hopes it may help you discover your path and perhaps individuals more like you.

According to Wikipedia, Bisexuality can be either or all of the following: a romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females. So its entirely possible that you are a bisexual who is romantically attracted to other females, not to males and sexually attracted to both. As the variations of sexuality in its basic of forms become known, I think people begin to have general expectations of what they all are, some precise description without variations but life isn't so. You may have a fear of people and what they think, especially in the area of sex but I am willing to bet it extends to other areas of your life, just not as strong a concern with you. I know what a fear of people is, mainly people watching me and wondering about what they might be thinking and how they might react to something I do. It is nerve wracking to always be so concerned...i was like that as a teen and young adult and thought I got over it but discovered through just a simple exercise of doing something in a public crowd that no one else was doing, made me really worried about peoples response and after I pushed thru and repeatedly did this activity, I realized it no longer bothered me what people think because I got all kinds of responses, approval and displeasure, non understanding, etc. But I didnt care anymore, it was about me living my life for me, not for the approval of others.
So I think whether you are even aware of it at a conscious level, that somewhere subconsciously it bothers you. You feel a need to fit what is in todays world becoming more acceptable, the basic explanation for bisexuality without any variations or differences from it cus that would make you stand out again and thats too uncomfortable.
It may also be that you are young enough to not have experienced everything you possibly can in the sexual world yet and you may find your niche sooner or later thru experience. It may be that once you meet a she-male, you find that this type of person is what rocks your boat. Or perhaps it is simply that you haven't found a male yet that you like the intimacy of romance with yet. Just plain old sex, for lust sake, taking care of ones need for sexual release can easily be done without having to have the romance side, or being in love. After a divorce, and before finding 2nd husband, I had some male friends with benefits deals, which helped my sexual needs feel taken care of but I was looking for one with whom I could have both. So perhaps, with males, you are more comfortable with a friends with benefits situation while with a female its for way more.

People are generally made to have a need for two basic things in a relationship, the emotional connection and the sexual one. It may be that you have your own version of what you require emotionally from males that differ from females. But when it comes to sexual needs, both are fine for you.

If you feel unhappy thinking that there may be something wrong with you, it might be reassuring just for the peace of mind to speak with a sex counselor/therapist. they are most likely to have heard of plenty of cases of people who describe themselves exactly as you do yourself. While not well known, they may even have a term for it. There are more variations in sexual and gender id and preferances today than there ever have been in the past. I wish you well and hope you are able to come to terms and a peace with your own uniqueness and not worry as to what others think which I beleive a counselor needs to hear too.

Hello all! I have been on Tri-Esarylla for almost a year. Last month, I attempted to skip my period by starting a new pack instead of taking the placebo pills. I have since learned that this is not a very good idea on a tri-phasic pill, but oh well.

Anyways, I managed to delay my period for about two weeks, but have been bleeding nonstop since then. Last week, however, was a placebo week so perhaps that's why. Either way, that's two weeks of bleeding, plus a few days.

I'm a bit concerned because I did have unprotected sex (although he did not ejaculate inside of me) several times during the week that I delayed my period. I'm worried that this is an early miscarriage rather than the effects of attempting to skip my period.

Any advice? Thank you.

Stop having sex until you get this sorted out or use condoms
and secondly, see your doctor immediately. Whenever a person does anything that is a chance in the schedule of when to take what, or missing a day and doubling up, all of it is wrong and has its own complications. Your bleeding for much longer than normal may or may not be due to delaying the placebo pills and could be a coincidence of occuring at the same time and a sign of something more serious. Thats why its best to see the Dr. and be honest about what you have done.

I know that having a period start at an inconvenient time like when planning a big night with your sweetie sucks but for next time, if he has no problem with it, and you engage in sex right at the beginning or end of period when its much lighter and using a condom for his safety from the blood in case theres something he could catch, then all should be well. If an early miscarriage, a doctor can confirm it and theres nothing special you have to do, just wait it out until its done. But dont just assume that this is what it is when it could be something more serious.

We're both reasonably young, in our teens and we're both guys. It doesn't really bother me, but thinking psychologically, people'd definitely react more violently for the reason that we're both guys, and not because we do blowjobs. Personally, I dont like him and he doesn't like me back, romantically that is. We just do it for fun since we've nothing better to do (I expect advice not judgement :P). Also, just for further details, we don't have any kind of disease and we never do it with one having a cold sore.

As long as you're okay with it, there's no reason to see it as good or bad, it just is. BTW, some people may discover as time goes on that they like both men and women romantically and therefore, sex wise, would be bi sexual. In your case, you're not engaging in sex because of romantic interest in a girl but just for the sake of sex itself. One things for sure, it's safer as far as neither of you can get each other pregnant, so a much better choice as a teen to engage in same sex sexual stuff instead of taking a chance of getting a girl pregnant.

21/f

I used Lomexin as a vaginal suppository last night. It is a medicine for yeast infections. I had sex with my boyfriend tonight,and when I moved away from him,the condom was covered in white cream which I suppose was from the medicine. I freaked out,because I heard the condom may get damaged that way. There was a little cum inside the condom when he pulled out. We checked the condom,it showed no signs of damage,but I'm still worried. Can I get pregnant in this case?

I found a site on line about lomexin, Heres one of their warnings:

Warning!

There is a possibility that this preparation may damage latex condoms and diaphragms, and the effectiveness of these contraceptives may consequently be reduced. You should use an alternative method of contraception for at least five days after using this medicine.

Heres the link to the entire site :

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/infections/medicines/lomexin.html

So, since there is a possibility of getting pregnant while using this medicine while using condoms or diaphragms, you will need to ask your pharmacist or doctor what you can use instead, and just to be extra safe, you might want to take the morning after pill within a couple days of this incidence of sex. I wouldn't plan on having any sex until 5 days or a bit longer of finishing the last of the medicine or find out what else you can take. If ready to get on something like the pill, you'd still not be safe for a week or so anyhow as it needs that amount of time to build up in your body to a strength that will prevent pregnancy. Since i am not a pharmacist, that is why I suggest you talk to one.

I'm 16 years old, I had asked a question a few weeks ago because I was wondering if I could of been pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I know sometimes the tests could be false, but I'm nauseous in the mornings, hungry all the time, and no sign of my period at all so I think the test is accurate. I don't know how to tell my parents, they're so strict..

If you find you can't get up the nerve to just start talking and telling them, my next suggestion is to write a note and leave it for them to read. What I would suggest is getting the okay to spend the night at a friends house and before leaving, leave your letter somewhere Mom and Dad are sure to find it like on the toilet seat. Ask them in your letter to take the time first to talk with each other and grieve for the position you find yourself in or get their anger out. Let them know you chose to tell them this way as you know its going to be a hard thing for them to accept but what you need most right now is their love, their support and their guidance. You dont need to be told you made a big mistake, you already know that.

This is a good way for parents to have some time to absorb the shock of it without the possible knee-jerk reaction of their emotions affecting you negatively, hurting you.
It might seem like a chicken way to present such news but you'll have plenty chance to talk with them afterwards on the topic, once they've hopefully calmed down.
In case this is a Christian household with the belief of no sex before marriage, the reactions can be worse and take them much much long to come to grips with. However, if this is the case and they are being too harsh with you, ask your Pastor for help and let him know what happened and that your parenting in their dissapointment are being really harsh and hateful towards you and leave it to him/her to counsel your parents and possibly you too.

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