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we fight continuously
How do I get the fighting to stop its always over stupid stuff.....
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
It is hard to give advice specific to your problem when your question is too generic in information.
For example, the 'we' could be two sisters fighting, a teen fighting with a parent, a dating couple or married couple for a few examples.
The fighting could be just verbal or escalate to physical fighting too.
The 'stupid stuff' may be little things, or actually may be the sort of things that often people do fight over, whether one thinks them insignificant or not.
There are ways to converse and work out differences without saying and doing the wrong thing to make the situation worse where both get angrier instead of calming down and compromising together. If I knew some background too on both peoples situations, that may play into the
'why' of whats causing each person to fight, like one is overwhelmingly stressed at school or work, and the other has an anger problem, fights depression or has mental or emotional disorders, a history of abuse in their past....
All of this can contribute to causing the situation.
If you choose to not say more, all I can say is that when disagreements start, all you can do is control yourself, you have no control over the other. And the best thing you can do is stop responding verbally. Say nothing, clam up. Fight the urge to defend yourself if accused or blamed wrongly, don't try to reason with a person who is already upset, don't try to use logic if you've done so before and it hasn't helped. I know this all because I used to be married to a man who was verbally abusive and tried to pick fights with me all the time. At first I fought back and learned that if I fought back verbally, all it did was add fuel to the fire. It helped for a while if I remained quiet. In my case tho, he had undiagnosed mental illness that was getting worse. Eventually, my sitting there quietly not reacting, even in facial expressions made him just as angry as if I spoke. To this I responded with, "If you don't calm down, and leave the house to do so, then I will leave the house to give you time to get yourself under control." If he opened his mouth to say another angry word, I grabbed my purse and headed for my car and went to visit a friend without letting him know where I'd gone. Until a person is ready to attempt to work things out civilly with you, theres not much you can do.
If you need more specific help, provide a little bit more background, story situation.
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