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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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right after I sneeze I cant breathe. this last for about 30 seconds to a min. I feel like I am going to pass out.
None of us are doctors so we can't give you a medical diagnoses. Trouble breathing at any time is a serious life threatening issue requiring a doctor's intervention. What is happening to you is not normal and needs to be checked out by a doctor.
If this is something that is happening now then you need to go to the nearest hospital emergency room. If need be call 911 for help and they will care for you and transport you to the hospital.
I have been taking Birth control for about 4 months. In the beginning of january I skipped a whole week (white pills) my step mom told me it was alright, and to continue with my second week as if I took the first. I felt so nauseous during the second week, I through up a couple hours after my pill. The last week came and I never received my period. It is 26 days late and I have an appointment 7 days from now, so it'll be about a month late when i go..I have been feeling sick, and have been having stomach aches. Just not feeling normal. I know Im bound to find out and I am ready for anything but I cant sleep thinking about what it would be. Im so anxious. What could it be?
The white pills I believe you are talking about are generally placebo pills. They are usually an inactive pill such as a sugar pill put in the case so that you remain in the habit of taking a pill each day. During the time you take the placebo pill your body has the opportunity to have a period.
There are a number of reasons why you didn't get a period. The most likely cause of missing which is high on the list is stress. Stress from worry about being pregnant. The more you worry the higher your anxiety and stress are.
I would suggest rather than wait until you see the doctor and then wait until the test result come back. Is you purchase a home pregnancy test. The chances are very high in your favor that you are not pregnant. Once you know for sure that you are not pregnant your stress level will come down and hopefully your next period will arrive on time.
I would suggest that you keep your doctors appointment regardless of the results of the home test, even though they should be negative. There is nothing like having the doctor confirm the test to put you totally at ease. While you're there the doctor can check for other reasons you feel as you do.
I m failed in ny school preliminary exams and I m in std 10 if my parents will they will beat me a lot and they will be worried a lot and I have decided to suicide ....
is it right ...
Suicide is not the answer, it is the wrong solution to a solvable problem. As a parent myself I find it hard to believe a parent would physically abuse a child for failing an exam particularly a preliminary one, though I guess anything is possible.
You have convinced yourself that you're in for a beating when your parents find out you failed the exam. If by a beating you mean something other than a reasonable spanking, which is considered punishment and in my view uncalled for here. Then on Monday go to a trusted teacher or your schools principal and tell them what you believe is going to happen to you.
Be very descriptive of what you believe will happen. As I said as unjustified as I believe a spanking would be. A proper spanking is consider a proper punishment for a parent to deliver if they feel it justified to do so. Actual beatings are not punishment they are abuse and a crime.
Spankings can be taken too far and go beyond the point of being proper and become abuse. A hand spanking to bare bottom as embarrassing as that may be is proper. If a parent were to use a belt, hairbrush, slipper or any other implement other than their hand then they have exceeded proper and are in the realm of abuse. So it is important to explain what you mean by beating.
If beating equates to abuse the school officials have no choice but to contact Child family services to protect you. This is the proper solution to your problem. Make sure to tell the teacher or principal that you are so scared of what your parents will do to you that you are contemplating suicide.
I live in California and my landlord will put these 4x6 inch orange stickers on peoples cars/trucks that park where they aren't supposed to. The stickers are hell to peel of, they leave a paper residue behind, and they are HUGE! I think it's vandalism, because I see peoples windows with the big paper residue on them that takes goo gone to remove, and they obviously are not able to remove them. Is this even legal? It seems like she super glues them on.
Are these stickers legal? Probably not, to be sure check with your local police department. IF they are not legal then she is committing a form of vandalism since the stickers are not easily removable.
It is permissible for her to in some manner advise those who park their that they are parked on private property. IF they were illegally parked she could call the police and have then ticketed or towed. Since she has resorted to this method then she has not complied with whatever legal requirements there are for the police to take action.
In the future should your car be vandalized in this manner call the police and file a complaint. Make sure to take pictures for your own purpose and ask the officer to take pictures to go with the police report.
I'm sure if you file a complaint against your landlord will threaten to evict you for doing so. She can't that to would be illegal as a eviction requires a court order. As long as you pay your rent on time and live with in the terms of your lease no court will order an eviction. So don't back down or you will have to live with her papering your cars.
If she were to threaten you in that manner you would then have a civil action against her for illegal use of the court system.
The only way to keep people from parking in areas they are not suppose to is to post signs with proper wording or have the fire department come in a see if they can make those areas fire lanes and red curb them. When that is done the police will issue tickets.
I really want to make myself (as a guy) squirt. I heard it feels REALLY GOOD.
If you have not entered puberty you may not be physically able to shoot yet. IF you have entered puberty and are masturbating you should be able to ejaculate.
Go on the web and type into a search engine "Male Masturbation and or how do males masturbate." These will return information on how to masturbate properly. Find a site that gives you the information that you can follow then follow the information given. I would suggest you do so in the privacy of your bedroom with the door closed and locked if possible so that you are not disturbed or intruded upon.
Masturbation is normal and according to recent surveys 85% of us do so. In a family of 4 this means 3.4 of those in the household masturbate. This could mean you and your parents as well as possibly your sibling.
As a parent we tell our children not to masturbate, that its dirty to do so. We are being hypercritical for saying so as most of us do so as part of foreplay prior to sex. The reason we say this to our children is that we feel masturbation leads to wanting the real thing. At your age having sex with a girl can lead to a pregnancy that should not be and you are not prepared for. The flip side of this is that masturbation is also a good substitute for the real thing so go ahead and masturbate. Just do so in private where you cannot be intruded upon.
Now if you are going through puberty, are masturbating properly and still cannot ejaculate. Then you may have a problem that needs a doctors attention. Don't panic, if you are over 14 there is a federal law that gives you absolute medical confidentiality concerning your reproductive system. This law is called HIPPA.
Under this law as long as you are 14 years of age or older you do not need parental permission to see a doctor for anything related to your reproductive system. This problem would qualify under HIPPA.
You could make an appointment, see the doctor, be examined and treated; ask any questions you may have, all without your parents knowledge or consent. You parents cannot see these medical records without you written consent to the doctor nor can the doctor or any of the staff tell you parents why you saw or were treated by the doctor. Your parents can no longer be in the examination room with you without your permission under this law. All you need to say to the doctor if a parent is with you is you invoke your rights under HIPPA.
Congress passed this law was written not to give teenagers license to have sex. They passed this law so that teenagers would seek medical attention for problems with their reproductive system they may be too embarrassed to go to their parents with and so you can be totally open with the doctor so the doctor can properly treat you.
Under this law you have total control of the confidentiality of the medical records for any doctors visit having anything to do with your reproductive health.
So if for some reason you are old enough to be ejaculating, and at 14 you should be. If after finding out how to properly masturbate you still do not ejaculate. My advice is to see a Urologist as this is the doctor that specializes in this area of medicine.
Please my girlfriend is a virgin and is 19 years old.I wanted to have sex with her but she keep on telling me that she will not do it until we got married.How should I convince her to have sex with me
You don't. She has said no and that is all she needs to say on the matter. If you continue to push her to have sex with you then you are sexually harassing her which is a crime.
Your girlfriend has chosen to save the most precious gift a woman can give a man for her husband. You should understand this and accept this. If the only reason for dating her is to have sex with her then find another girl to date.
There are very few women like your present girlfriend who are willing to wait to have sex until they marry. There are more than enough women out there who feel differently and if they wish to have sex with you will do so without your needing to beg them for it.
My advice is as I have said. If your only interest in this girl is for sex; then find another girlfriend.
p.s. You are no longer a minor and sexual harassment is a real crime for which you can go to jail if she were to file a police complaint. So stop pushing to have sex with her and stay out of jail.
So, my dad went to prison 14 years ago (unrelated to any of this) and just got out last month. He's made attempts to contact me and my brother; we both decided to have dinner with him and have already done that.
My sister, for many years, has said that our dad molested her for years. None of this was investigated, there were no witnesses, it's all on her word.
It's an awful situation. I feel a huge loyalty to my sister, I love her so much obviously. I can only imagine what it'd be like, the betrayal to see your bothers do that to you and be around your molester. However, no one knows this actually happened, and I feel like it'd be unfair to cut my dad out of my life because of my sister's, well frankly, accusations.
I don't know what to do. Nothing was ever proven but why would someone lie about that?
Any advice on the subject would be much appreciated
thanks
This could be a tough situation for you. After 14 years without your father it is understandable that you would want to get reacquainted with him. On the other hand you also have no reason not to believe your sister.
For me the answer is simple. I would believe your sister. Why, for the simple reason that molested children have a tendency not to tell anyone of the molestation while it is happening. When they are older and realize what happened to them was wrong they are embarrassed to say anything. In your sisters case her molester was already in jail and could no longer harm her so she had no reason to come forward.
You're right it is a he said she said situation as it always is in situations where an adult molests a child. You are also wondering why your dad molested her and not you. This I would say is the thought behind you considering if your sister is lying. I don't have a good answer for that question though I do believe your sister.
What to do about this. For your sister, now that it is out in the open. If she wants she can check to see if she can still file a criminal complaint. Some states do not have a statute of limitation on child molestation.
For you and your brother you are now in a position of, do you divide your loyalties or do you stand behind your sister. For me the answer would be simple I would stand behind my sister. The answer may not be that simple for you and your brother and it would be wrong of me or anyone else to tell you what to do.
The answer lies in whether or not you believe your sister. When you decide that question you will know what the right thing to do is.
I was badly burned in an accident. Im recovering but I have noticed that I miss a guy greatly. We were friends and started getting in a relationship but it ended before it started. Its been years but I think we should give it a shot. But we mainly talk in texts. And when I dont get a reply I get really anxious and sad. I feel like its unhealthy.could it be that I need some sort of comforting. I dont want to get attached. Any advice?
First let me say how sad I am to hear you have been seriously hurt. I know how it feels to be seriously hurt in an accident as I have been disabled as a result of one. Worse is the fact that I was the innocent in the accident.
Yes you do want to be comforted but I believe you want to be comforted in a manner you are not really thinking of. While our injuries heal, hopefully, accidents like we have had are life changers. My accident severely limits what I can do. It caused me to retire long before I planned. Our retirement plans are now just a dream.
Not knowing specifically where and how bad your injuries are. Though being a volunteer firefighter for most of my life, I am fully aware of how badly people can be hurt by fire and the limitations afterward.
The type of comforting you need is two fold. Yes you need someone to hold you in their arms and make you feel like a alive again. While the physical can happen the mental part is going to take time and is going to need professional help to get you there.
My accident was ten years ago and I still have periodic check ins with my psychologist who without her help I don't believe I could have coped as well as I am with the changes or the constant pain I live with.
My advice is to find a psychologist to talk with. Let him or her help you with how life has changed or changing for you. Whatever or whoever caused the accident the insurance company from the accident should cover the cost of seeing the psychologist. Speak with your lawyer about seeing a psychologist.
The psychologist will help you wrap your arms around yourself while you find someone to hold you in their arms. Trust me when I say you need both. I was lucky I did not have to go looking for someone to hold me I had my wife and son for that. Though I still needed and when my pain gets unbearable still need my psychologist to keep me focused on what is the right path.
Where can I find coupons? I am looking to save a ton of money this year. I have watched "Extreme Couponing" and was wondering where I can find manufacturing coupons without expiration dates?
Their are tons of places to find coupons. You can search on the web, in you local newspapers. Write different manufacturers with compliments or complaints. They generally will write you in return and include coupons and put you on their mailing list.
Go on the web and search for couponing. This will return a number of different sites to explore along with sites with suggestions for successful couponing.
I have huge dark scars all over my face from acne. Will bleaching cream help? What else can help?
I'm not aware of any true fix for acne scars once they have set in. You should consult a dermatologist as they are the doctors who can best help you with a non surgical fix for the scars.
You should also consult a plastic surgeon. Depending on how deep your scars are a plastic surgeon may be able to help with a non surgical method for lightening or removing these scars. They are doing a lot of things with laser treatments today and possibly if the scars are not too deep there is a laser treatment that will help.
I am not sure if this is the right category. Wasn't sure what to put it in.
I need people who are sensitive and not judgmental because my situation is quite easy to judge but I actually really need some help. I'm really at a loss and don't know what to do. So if you are someone who would post rude comments, please leave now.
Okay so last year I was asked by a co worker to have a threesome with him and his wife... (I am a female). I couldn't help but say yes because I was curious and it was a fantasy of mine that I never actually thought would happen. Well even though I was on birth control I ended up getting pregnant from this.
Well this obviously caused a lot of issues in their marriage and I felt bad but I didn't know what to do so I left it up to them. They cut off contact with me up until I was about 7 months pregnant when he contacted me and wanted to try and work something out because he wanted to be involved in his babies life. It's been a very very complicated, messy and difficult situation as I am sure you can imagine. But his whole family, brothers, sisters in law, parents, grandparents are all involved and have come to see me and the baby and have just been wonderful. But he hasn't been able to see her yet because his wife is uncomfortable with everything even though she knew having a threesome could potentially cause this problem.
Well last week she decided she couldn't handle it and she left him. He has sacrificed a lot to be a part of his daughters life and I appreciate it but here is where the problem comes in...
Back when I had the threesome there was a guy living with me who practically raped me one night when I took an Ambien. I only have a very vague memory of it since I was drugged up. He admitted he did it to me but said he only entered for a minute and pulled out. I was pissed and kicked him out and haven't heard from him since and I cant even be sure when the date was. I thought for sure this happened a couple of weeks after I would have gotten pregnant but my baby looks so much like him. She is only a couple weeks old now but she has his nose almost totally and it really scares me. It's really hard to tell tho cuz she is so young but here is where I need advice...
The paternity test is in 2 weeks and I guess its a possibility that the threesome guy may not be the dad after all. After everything he has been through to be in her life and everything his family has done for us... I would be the single worst person alive if it turns out the guy who raped me is actually the father. It is very unlikely that it was him but at the same time... she really does look like him.
So my question is... how should I handle this if the paternity test comes out negative? What should I say to him and his family? How can I possibly apologize for something so extreme? Or should I tell him now that I was raped back then and risk losing his trust even if the test comes out positive? Overall... I just don't know what to do. Please help
I really do not see anything here to be judgmental about at least concerning the three way with the co-worker and his wife. I will say this though that the guy you were living with did not practically rape you, he DID rape you.
When you took the Ambien, and he was aware you were not conscious enough to consent to sex even though you have had sex with him before, having sex with you is rape. You were in no condition to consent and prior sex with him is no guarantee of future sex with him. Instead of just kicking him out you should have charged him with rape.
As far as the paternity test goes. He knows you're having one, he has to as he would have had to give you DNA to match with. So until the test results are returned say no more about the rape or the chance this is not his baby. Should the test result show he is not the father there will be plenty of time to tell him.
If the results show that the ex live in guy is the father then you need to do some other things besides telling the co-worker. First it is not too late to charge the ex with Rape. Most states give you five years to bring this charge.
You can use this charge as leverage against the ex to make sure he lives up to his responsibilities to this child as the father. You find a lawyer to draw up the legal papers required by the courts to order him to pay child support and to provide other things for the child such as medical insurance. Maintaining a life insurance policy to cover the cost of the child support incase of his death until the child is 18 and legally an adult.
Within these documents you can also have wording to the effect that should he fail to pay child support he is pleading guilty to raping you and waving the statute of limitations. The lawyer will know how to word this for the court to accept.
I am a cashier at a restaurant. I work with a girl who is lazy, rude, and doesn't follow company procedure. She is never reprimanded. She didn't even show up for a mandatory meeting. She is somehow up for a promotion too. If I were to act like her I would be fired. What should I do. Her laziness means that I have to work even harder to keep everything going.
Unfortunately this is the way life is. She obviously does something to endear herself to management that makes them feel she is a necessary part of the team or she is a close friend of one of the managers. Regardless of the reason(s) why she is eligible for the promotion; for you to speak up about reasons she should not be promoted would not help your cause any.
This is how office politics works. No matter where you work you are bound to run in to something like this again. You can either grin and bear it or look for another job. Should you find another job then in your exit interview if you want to you can mention this .
Doing so will not help you but may help present management to understand that their favoritism is being seen, That this favoritism could be behind any workforce problems they have.
Hello again, if you read Rahzie's response, I already have talked and confronted her on all those points and she is well aware of it all. We have even talked about way more things. We are not delusional. We just want to go back to how things were. Especially me.
I really do not know all the details of what she really went through with him behind closed doors. I don't think I ever will. I just know the things she has told me herself. But, it must be some sort of mental abuse that kept her around for so long even though she has wanted to leave for years and was absolutely miserable. Can sense of financial security and comfort really make a person stay with somebody they don't want to be with for so long? She said when she was younger she thought she loved him, but he was her only relationship in which she had nobody else to compare with, but me. She always reminds me of just how different it is with me and that she now has an idea of what love is really like.
I feel like I am in such an impossible situation and it's just hard to find the words to truly describe my ordeal. I know we need help and we need an unbias, educated, and secular therapist to help us out without giving us the typical oh you guys should break up and be alone crap. We are finally free from him you know? I want to enjoy freedom at last. I don't think going to any therapist will really help our situation, and the specialized ones are just way too expensive. I feel like I am very lucid and understanding of this and I am trying so hard to get her to realize what she has. I really don't want to lose her. Thanks.
It is hard to explain the why of why and abused person will stay with their abuser for as long as she did. Security is one reason. Hopelessness is another. Mostly it is the hold the abuser has on them from all the years of abuse. The abused persons total self-image and self-worth are lost. It is something like the Stockholm syndrome of captives with their captor but not exactly.
Whether it is affordable or not therapy is needed to recapture what has been lost. As she has lost not only her self-image but her self-worth and self-respect as well. No matter how much you love her you cannot give this back to her by yourself.
You do not need a specialized therapist. Any psychologist should be able to help her. What is important is to find one she is comfortable with and she can trust. It would not be unusual to go through 2,3 even 4 psychologists before she finds one that is sort of a kindred spirit to her. Then you working with the psychologist will be able to bring her back to where she should be.
I have been married twice, and can only orgasm by myself. Never with my former or current husband. My current husband has cheated on me because he says that I am a bad lover, and if I don´t orgasm with him he will divorce me.
You are not frigid. There are several definitions of frigid in reference to sex. Not being able to orgasm while having sexual intercourse is only one of them. Not being able to orgasm during intercourse does not mean you are truly frigid either. Your husband may not be an attentive lover and realize you are part of the 20% of women who cannot orgasm strictly through vaginal stimulation.
If you can orgasm through masturbation then I do not believe you meet the definition of Frigid. If you are not apposed to having sex, the other definition, then you are not Frigid.
When a woman masturbates she usually spends a great deal of time stimulating her clitoris rather than vaginal penetration. The result is she has a clitoral orgasm's. Does this sound like you. If so then the problem is just is as much his for not realizing it as it is yours for not telling him you need more clitoral stimulation. T
he fix to this problem is to use positions that allow for more clitoral stimulation. One such position would be the woman superior where you are on top and he is on the bottom. This allows you to control the penetration and your vagina as a whole.
There are other positions you can use such as doggie style and you stimulate your clitoris while he stimulates your vagina with penile penetration. There are others that you can find by simply entering clitoral stimulation during sex into search engine.
You're husband also owes you an apology for what he has called you and for his threat of divorce. IF I was a woman and my husband said that to me. I would tell him to pack his bags and get out. For this is truly a problem of getting to know the sexual needs of your partner and learning how to satisfy them. Your husband has failed in his sexual responsibility to you.
I have been married to John for 2 years. This has been my experience: Within the first 6 months of our marriage my father passed away. I had to fly across the country to attend the funeral, and stayed for 2 weeks. Upon my return, I found out that John had cheated on me with a prostitute. To make a long story short, I forgave him and we worked really hard on our marriage. Another 6 months went by, and while I was doing laundry, I found 2 movie tickets in his pants pocket. I looked at the date on the tickets, and it happened to coincide with one of the nights he told me he had been “working late.“ Again, we worked on the marriage and got counseling, and things went better.
On Jan. 1st, 2014 he left me. He packed up all of his belongings and left our home. He moved into an apartment with a girlfriend he had been having an affair with for the past 2 months. They lived together for 4 days before he called it quits, and made her move out.
The excuse he gives me for all the cheating incidents is: (in his exact words) “you are a beautiful person, with a beautiful soul. But my sex life with you has always been bad. In fact, it is sh*t.“
He told me that while he doesn´t want to say goodbye to me forever, he wants me to begin seeing other people. When I ask him if he will come back to me, he says he is not ready.
I don´t know what to do. I thought marriage was supposed to be a sacred union lasting for a lifetime. I certainly went into it that way, and I feel that I have done everything possible to make it work. Now, I just feel used. Is there any hope for this marriage to ever heal?
Thank you very much for your attention.
I agree with Razhie as for you to go back into therapy. I believe your husband is a conceited bastard for saying what he said and did so to hurt you.
For the sake of discussion and just for the moment lets just say you came to your marriage bed a true virgin. Then it is up to the husband to show his bride the wonders of sex for you have saved him the most precious gift a woman can give a man. If in this instance he is so selfish as to just take what he needs and not show you the wonders of the marriage bed then the fault is all his.
Now if you are like the majority of couples; you married as non virgins and had a premarital sex life. He would have known before hand what type of sex life the two of you would have had and again if something was missing then he was being selfish in not sharing his needs with you.
Premarital sex is usually secretive and wham, bam thank you maam type of thing. It is when a couple marries that they truly learn how to love and make love to each other. If he did not show you what his needs where or allow you to show him what your needs were he is wrong. This is what I meant by him being a conceited bastard. For he has no idea what being a husband or lover is.
You have every right to feel used for I think in most ways he did use you. He used you to do for him what mommy use to do for him.
Is there any hope for this marriage? I don't see why you would want to even try. Based on that one remark my feeling is he is so conceded that there is no room for anyone else. What he said to you is the worst thing a man can say to a woman, especially his wife. As his wife if she comes from such a sheltered background that sex is virtually an unknown. Then the pleasures of sex is his to share and to teach.
There are better men out there then him. Hopefully there are no children of this marriage. If there are then see a lawyer and see to it that he is made to legally live up to his responsibilities as their father and walk away without looking back.
There is almost noway I can be brief about this, so I BEG for judgement free responses.
Please keep in mind of this before responding : You can choose who you fall in love with when it happens. You can choose when either. When you are in love, you are in love imo.
Her : A 26 year old woman in (not any longer) a relationship for 13 years (not married). Met as children and was forced into a relationship via peer pressure by her friends. For some reason, it lasted this long and she had wanted to get out since she was 16. They have lived together since she was 20 and broke up after he found out that she was had a crush on somebody else 3 years later. They reconciled after 2 months and has lived with him for another 3 years. She has always only saw him as her best friend and was just really attached, never truly in love. He has money and has shielded her from reality. Very controlling and manipulative. Intimate only when he got mad and for 'survival'. There is so much more to add.
Me : 27 at the time I met her a year ago. Had aspirations of becoming a professional bodybuilder (not a joke). I lived like a monk and basically thought relationships were a waste of time. I had very firm beliefs about life in general and I had goals and dreams.
We met online and talked for months as friends. We have the same beliefs about life and everything you can imagine. She told me how depressed she was living a lie with this man. Basically strangers. We fell in love without even knowing how each other looked like nearly 400 miles apart. Soon it became an emotional affair for months.
We met and engaged in forbidden love (to society). Later, I found a job opportunity (leaving everything behind for her) and moved here under the impression she would leave him. But she was so trapped under him. She had no means to leave financially. She was not her own person at all. Very emotionally weak.
Finally (very long story), after months, she was free, but still very broken. I given her everything and went from an ice cold person to truly falling in love.
We almost broke up many times because it was getting to me. She begged and begged for me to stay and so I did. She was so certain she wanted to leave and had wanted to leave many times before she met me but just was too weak and had no means to do it.
Now she is cold. She is so confused and lost. Depressed. She says she still loves me and more than she has ever loved anyone before (she showed it before she left). I feel I fulfilled her romance needs and she would go home for her 'protection'. Now she doesn't have that anymore.
Will we survive? Thanks...
From what you have written I would say based on what you have written about her she is an emotionally damaged and abused women. she saw and or sees you as her life boat. This is a very bad situation for both of you.
She cannot have any type of true relationship in the future until she reconciles the relationship she had for 13 years. IF you are truly her friend then I urge you to help her get into therapy for battered and abused women.
Her past long term relationship may not have been a physically abusive relationship but a mentally abusive one. Mental abuse is as bad or worse than physical abuse for the scars although unseen last longer.
My advice is: Help her get into therapy. Do not get into or back into a relationship with her until she is in therapy and do not consider marriage until her therapist recommends it.
I don't want a question answered just need to get off my chest what has happened in my life and why I feel they way I do and what Ive decided. Please tell where I can do this.
Your question has the makings of an interesting question. I'm sure that besides me there are others that would like to offer suggestions if only you had offered a bit more information.
There are many different ways I can interpret what little you have said and I hope you are not planning on hurting yourself. We can help you with whatever you feel has gone wrong in your life and why you may feel as you do.
What we won't do is help you with an end of life option or where and how to do so. There is no problem so huge that there is not a better solution than suicide. When this looks like the only option you have in reality the problem is you are too close to the problem to see better alternatives. This is where we excel by pointing out better ways to handle a situation.
Write back with more information and let us help you.
I'm a senior in college and lately I feel like in don't relate to people the way I did in the previous three years. I'm extremely passionate about my career goals and I get more serious with each passing day. Even if I tried to change this I couldn't be because I'm doing what I love above anything else. I have an amazing group of friends who have the same goals as me, but I just don't feel like they are nearly as devoted as I am. I'm starting to feel quite different from all of them. For example, after a long day/evening of school I like to be alone and decompress and even spend a lot of weekend nights alone. Most people I know cannot spend any time alone. They go straight from school to hang out with friends or their boyfriends for the rest of the night. They are constantly communicating with people through social media in class. I just don't understand it. When I feel drained and tired and I force myself to hang out with people it's a chore. I would love a boyfriend but as much as I force myself, there is no guy my age I am interested in putting the time in for. I've found one unavailable guy over the whole 4 years that I've had feelings for. He's the only guy I know that shares the passions I do, but obviously I couldn't be with him. I guess maybe I don't want to spend much time with my friends anymore because I no longer feel a connection with them? I just feel very isolated, and it depresses me. I felt like this senior year of high school too. I didn't feel this way in my previous college years. Any advice?
This is only a guess on my part. Since the same thing happened in High School your senior year. My guess is you are preparing yourself for the separation from your college friends upon graduation. You did this in high school for you knew shortly after graduation you would all be going your separate ways. In essence you are protecting yourself from the hurt of saying good-bye.
I would list this under self-preservation. If I was a sociologist or a psychologist I would find this something interesting to explore with you. I don't find anything really wrong with protecting yourself from hurt. The end result though as I see it is. Instead of a lot of hurt at one time you're dragging a little hurt out over a long period of time.
In another way you are also preparing for the next phase of your life. Going from student to career woman. This is good, it shows you are level headed and know where you're going and most likely have a plan to follow.
The two together to my way of thinking is a slight contradiction in terms. What I mean is you can spend too much time trying to see every pitfall that may hurt you or come up and bite you. In so doing you become so fixated you miss seeing the big picture. By not seeing the big picture its not that you plan to fail it is that you have a plan that fails.
A small amount of hurt from time to time in our lives is actually a good thing for we can learn from things that hurt us. For instance lost loves, why did we lose that love. We see what went wrong in that relationship and try to avoid it in the next.
In today's world friends will come an go. That is just how things are. They take on new jobs, new responsibilities, get transferred. It is unavoidable. College friends are not like high school friends. Many of your college friends, if you allow them, can be friends for life even if there are great distances between you.
These are my thoughts and if you doubt me check in with the school psychologist for two reasons. First you have no reason to feel as you do. Second to see if I am right. If I am the psychologist can help you work around the need to be totally self=preserved.
Sorry about the lame title, but I don't know how else to word it. I had considered myself a Christian for most of my life until about two years ago. I don't put any particular label on my beliefs, but I'm leaning toward atheism. My family, who are all conservative Christians, have absolutely no idea. I don't want to ever tell them what I believe, because I wonder if this is just a "college-age phase" or something. It would hurt them so much, and I know without a doubt I would lose love from them. But let me get down to the real question...I am trying to find my first job, and my mother keeps telling me to apply for Lifeway, which is a Christian bookstore. Needless to say, I would be quite uncomfortable working there. How can I tell her that I'd rather not work there without revealing too much? Thank you.
This is a tough question. Is this a college thing? Possibly, I say this for this is possibly the first time you are really on your own to think for yourself without your parents telling you what to think or do. You like others your age coming from deeply religious families may have had enough religion in their lives and now have the opportunity to take a break from it without their parents knowing or forcing them to church.
Is this wrong, no. Does this make you an atheist, no. Do you still believe in a god? If the answer is yes then you a leaning towards being an agnostic. Are the religious values that have been taught to you still of value to you? If yes then you are still a Christian but maybe not a conservative or practicing one.
If going to church would not bother you when you are home visiting your parents then why is it necessary to tell them anything. You are an adult now entitled to your own ways and thoughts.
Will your parents be upset that you have fallen out of love with the church? They probably will and they will probably try to bring your back into the fold. Will they stop loving you?
As a parent and someone old enough to be your grandparent I can say with much certainty that I doubt this. There is very little a child can do that would cause a parent to stop loving their children. Loving and being upset or even angry are different emotions. Being upset or angry does not stop the love we have for our children.
My advice be who you feel you need to be so that you are comfortable with who you are. Is it absolutely necessary you tell your parents about this. No, not if it is going to hurt them. Not if you can when you're with them be the daughter they raised and do as they do.
Does this mean you're lying to them or yourself. Not really, what you're doing if you can be comfortable in doing, is keeping peace and appeasing your parents in the process. When you marry and have a family of your own you raise your children as you and your husband chose.
Okay so I was saying that I wasn't feeling well too stay home from school (I felt really depressed and just didn't feel like going), so i took an ibuprofin so my parents would believe me. Well could anything happen to me since I didn't need it? Yes I do realize it was a stupid idea but I don't usually do this.
Also, it was only one pill. I took it hours ago, but I was just wondering if anything could happen.
Taking one ibuprofen when not needed will not harm you. If you make a habit of taking these pills on a daily basis and take too much or too many. Then you run the risk of damaging your liver. Just how damage can be done depends on how much you abuse this medication. If abused too much a person could put themselves in a life threatening position of needing a liver transplant. Just because it is an over the counter medication does not mean the medication is without risk or side-effects.
Now as to feeling depressed. It is normal in the ebb and flow of our daily lives to feel somewhat down one day, normal the next and even a bit euphoric another day. In a person with the normal flow of emotions your emotions will ride like a small wave above and below a flat horizontal line. When the wave dips below the line we say we feel depressed. The slight dip below the horizontal line is as I said normal and is not considered to be clinically depressed.
To be clinically depressed that line would have to go straight down well below the horizontal and stay there. To be manically depressed, or bipolar, that line would go way down, stay down then go straight up well above the horizontal and stay there for a few days. Then the cycle starts all over again. This is when a person is truly depressed.
What you are feeling in generic terms is what we call being bummed out. Frankly taking an ibuprofen or any other pain reliever is nothing more than a placebo which makes you think you feel better. In your case to make mom think you were sick. It had absolutely no effect on your body or how you felt.