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humorist-workshop
Giving a second chance
I was badly burned in an accident. Im recovering but I have noticed that I miss a guy greatly. We were friends and started getting in a relationship but it ended before it started. Its been years but I think we should give it a shot. But we mainly talk in texts. And when I dont get a reply I get really anxious and sad. I feel like its unhealthy.could it be that I need some sort of comforting. I dont want to get attached. Any advice?
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First let me say how sad I am to hear you have been seriously hurt. I know how it feels to be seriously hurt in an accident as I have been disabled as a result of one. Worse is the fact that I was the innocent in the accident.
Yes you do want to be comforted but I believe you want to be comforted in a manner you are not really thinking of. While our injuries heal, hopefully, accidents like we have had are life changers. My accident severely limits what I can do. It caused me to retire long before I planned. Our retirement plans are now just a dream.
Not knowing specifically where and how bad your injuries are. Though being a volunteer firefighter for most of my life, I am fully aware of how badly people can be hurt by fire and the limitations afterward.
The type of comforting you need is two fold. Yes you need someone to hold you in their arms and make you feel like a alive again. While the physical can happen the mental part is going to take time and is going to need professional help to get you there.
My accident was ten years ago and I still have periodic check ins with my psychologist who without her help I don't believe I could have coped as well as I am with the changes or the constant pain I live with.
My advice is to find a psychologist to talk with. Let him or her help you with how life has changed or changing for you. Whatever or whoever caused the accident the insurance company from the accident should cover the cost of seeing the psychologist. Speak with your lawyer about seeing a psychologist.
The psychologist will help you wrap your arms around yourself while you find someone to hold you in their arms. Trust me when I say you need both. I was lucky I did not have to go looking for someone to hold me I had my wife and son for that. Though I still needed and when my pain gets unbearable still need my psychologist to keep me focused on what is the right path.
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I would tell you to go ahead and give it a shot. But before you decide to make that move, I'd get yourself straightened out first. You're interested in him enough to be anxious and sad if he doesn't reply, and I wouldn't say that's a good thing because that will lower your confidence.
So first remind yourself that if he doesn't reply, he's not that interested and just leave him alone and not try to continue talking to him.
I'd say when you guys are texting you should just say we should hang out. Or better yet, have something in mind like a time and place. Because when most people say, "we should hang out", it never happens.
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First off, I'm sorry to hear about the accident. I hope everything goes well for you.
Well, to start, if this is a guy who you liked years ago, then I think you shouldn't bother. Everyone at one point in time will eventually miss someone in their past, but that doesn't mean we should do something about it. It'll eventually go away.
It really is unhealthy. We're supposed to be focused on the future, not the past. If he was meant to be in your life, he wouldn't be in the past.
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