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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
me and myboyfriend had sex. We didnt use protection. He didnt cum in me at all. I looked upsigns of pregnancy and ive been feeling them ever sence. I just had some blood fall out . I dont know if it was spotting or not. He said he didnt pre cum in me and there was no acess cum on his dick. Im scared im pregnant . But it doesnt seem like i could be with no cum. SOMEONE ANSWER QUICK
You're probably not pregnant. Your fear of becoming pregnant and the stress of that fear can make you period late. Regardless of what your boyfriend says it is most likely that he did precum in you, almost all men do is he was in you for any amount of time other than just in and out. If he came on you after he pulled out he precum in you it is not something he can control and most of us do not feel the emission.
That's the bad news. You are probably not pregnant. If you missed your period it is because of the stress related to the worry over being pregnant. The only way to know for sure if your pregnant is to take a home pregnancy test.
I know you don't want mom finding the evidence. I normally don't suggest lying but in this case I will suggest how to be sneaky. Go purchase a kit that you can use immediately meaning there has been enough time past since you have had sex.
Put the kit in your purse and keep your purse in your room with you. In the morning take your purse with you into the bathroom for your morning shower. Carefully open the kit so you can put it back together after use. Take the test. Once you have the results repackage the kit, put it back in your purse and dispose of it at school.
Hopefully you are over 14 years of age. If so no one can stop you from making that purchase. I would be surprised if you are pregnant. If the test is positive don't panic. There are more false positives then false negatives. Wait 10 days and test again.
Now as to unprotected sex. I don't care what the boys says as to why he doesn't want to use a condom. Simply put you tell him no rubber, no lover. That condom not only protects against pregnancy but protects your health. Remember when you have unprotected sex with someone you are having sex with any and all they have had unprotected sex with.
Now that you are sexually active you need to be on birth control. If you are 14 years of age or older you do not need parental permission. All you need to say to your doctor is "HIPPA"
HIPPA is a federal law which allows you confidentiality of your reproductive system. Saying to the doctor; "I have a HIPPA question for you. "Tells the doctor you wish to speak to him or her in confidence. If mom is in the room she will be asked to leave. You can then ask the doctor for birth control and the doctor must prescribe.
Hello,
I have an interview today for a custodial position at a insurance company. I think it is a vendor and not the insurance company that is hiring me, but the interview is at the insurance company.
The position is for a custodian. What should I wear? Should I wear a tie? I was thinking black khakis and a button down shirt
Advice?
Thanks
For this interview what is considered office casual is appropriate. A pair of slacks and either a dress shirt open at the collar or a polo shirt. Dress shoes an either black socks or socks that match your slacks. If you’re a male clean shaven or nicely trimmed beard if you wear a beard.
If you’re a woman you can substitute a skirt for the slacks. Hose is optional as is heels, flats will do fine. Go easy on the makeup. a bit of eye liner and some lip gloss should work just fine.
Good Luck.
Some interviewing tips.
One question that is always asked is why do you want to work for us? So think about an answer.
When asked a question look the interviewer in the eye when answering.
Leave you watch in your pocket or purse. One thing interviewers will mark you down for is if you are constantly looking at your watch or the clock.
When asked a question. Take a deep breath, think about the question then give your answer.
Someone asked me on a survey if I was a registered voter? Well, I just turned 18, and have been looking forward to voting but I didn't know anything about registering for the vote! How do you do this, and when do I have to do it by?
Call your local Board of Elections and they will tell you how and where you can register to vote. They will also tell you of any dead lines. You can find some of this information up on line by typing in your state followed by board of elections in to a search engine.
Its great that in the face of epic injustice and daily misery which you outlined in your postings, you find that life is worth living, or, that it is your duty to live (??). Its great that you have that perspective and choose life.
Its likely a good thing that you encourage you readers to 'live' at any cost, after all you wouldn't want to seriously engage with the subject at a deep level, or feel liable for someone's passing, very wise.
However, i think you strip others of the depth and width of their character, life experience, intellectual capacity, spiritual or cultural references, personhood (just for starters) when you suggest they should live, as you choose to do, in abjectness, if you're to be believed. It may be hard to believe but some folk have had an even more eventful and destructive life experiences than yourself, others feel simply that they have lived and learnt enough etc etc... or that they are not quite where they should be.
In addition if one is to be a Material-rationalist (i roughly mean 'this is it, so make the most of it'), but also insist on the duty to live (an expensive and often zero sum game for oneself and wider society), I see this position as incongruent and complex to maintain (but very interesting and engaging, hence me tapping out a few words).
Anyhow, don't blow a gasket, its just a few words which you're welcome to ignore.
Harper
Harper,
While you have been very eloquent in your writing; I believe you have missed the point in how most of us answer these questions.
Speaking just for myself I have been doing this for quite some time. Over the years the way in which I answer these questions has changed for I have learned one salient fact. These writers paint a picture, if they paint one at all, to try and convince us and themselves they are or will be doing the right thing. What they are really doing is asking for help, a last ditch effort by something inside them that is reaching out.
Knowing this most if not all of us answer them in a manner to give them hope and to point them to someplace they can get the help they are asking for. Some of us have even been where these writers are at when they write to us. By trying to pull them back from the edge many share that information with them. Telling them there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that all is not lost. So your writing that; "It may be hard to believe but some folk have had an even more eventful and destructive life experiences than yourself," is not only wrong it is unfair to those who share these experiences with those who write to us.
Basically I am an agnostic; someone who believes in a higher power but not necessarily a religious god. To that end I do believe we have a duty to live. A duty to ourselves to be all we can be. Yes there are pitfalls along the way. At times for some these pitfalls seem so monumental that they cannot be overcome. I have found that not to be true. What is needed to overcome them is the right help. That help is out there one just needs to ask the right people or person for it. This is what we try to do.
So do you think it could work between an 18 year old female and a 42 year old woman. I know it's 24 year difference. Heres some background on this exact situation. I'm the 18 year old I met this woman when I was 14 and I didn't have feelings for her until 17 almost 18 and I want to ask her on a date but before I do, do you think it could work?
First a question or two? Are you sure of her sexuality? "Is she a lesbian or bisexual?" Given the age difference between you are you looking for a mother daughter type relationship? For that is what it looks like.
If you are looking for a mother daughter type relationship then the chances of this relationship working out are possibly 50/50. This would depend on her if she is willing to have such a relationship and if you can find a compatible style. Should you be looking for a more equal style of relationship then I have to agree with Razhie an what she wrote and give this relationship a 1in 10 chance of working.
If you want to ask her on a date you need to first make sure she is a lesbian or at least bisexual. Otherwise you are going to be embarrassed. If she accepts your offer of a date and things go well then the two of you need to talk if you have any chance at a relationship.
For what it is worth I think you would be better off finding someone your own age. There is nothing wrong with dating someone older than you. someone this much older there is bound to be problems that in the end will harm any relationship you want to have.
What are the best EVER birthday presents to get your boyfriend? What present do you think your boyfriend liked better than any other one you got for him?
Anything you can do to help me make this birthday extra special and wonderful after he has had such a hard year would make me really grateful to you!
THANKS BUNCHES!
The problem with this question is you have not supplied any facts by which to advise you. You say he had a hard year. What was so hard about it? Knowing this could help in a gift selection.
In general if you want to get someone a gift that will knock their socks off. You have to look at what are some of the things the really want but for one reason or another they will not buy for themselves. Hopefully from among these items there is one you can afford to purchase.
Without more information that is about the best advice I can offer at this time. I hope it helps.
Should we send out special invitations and have a gender reveal party, or just tell people that we now know our baby's gender? This is our first child and for us this is all so exciting, but we don't want to overstep if you think this is too much?
Generally Razhie and I agree on many things, in this case I disagree with her slightly. This is your baby and how you want to celebrate is yours to do. Where I do agree with her is the invitees should be close friends and family who will share your happiness in knowing the baby's gender so they can start preparing with you for the babies arrival. As for coworkers and distant friends. You could share this news after you have shared it with close friends and relatives over lunch, by email or by special cards. You could do so over lunch, email or special mailings if you wish too.
Part of the joy of children is celebrating milestones in the child's life. One of the milestones is for some finding out the baby’s gender. The baby’s first kick or hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. How you share these milestones is your joy to have and not to worry what others may think.
Enjoy your baby for they grow up so very fast. They soon become teenagers and you wonder why you did this to yourself. Then they become adults and you sit back and watch them start down the road you yourself went through oh so many years ago and you say to yourself it was worth all that comes with parenting.
Been there, done that, have the photo's to prove it. Now I enjoy mine as I watch and remember.
So, my mother and father are both homophobes, which sucks seeing as though I have the keenest interest in girls. I am 17 years old, and live with both parents. I am unsure of how to come out to them, and would love some advice. Thanks, xx.
The best advice I can give you is to bite the bullet so to speak and come straight out with it. I would start with your mom first. You would be surprised how much mom knows but doesn't say. I would guess mom already knows or surmises already that you are Lesbian. She is probably just waiting for you to say something rather than to come to you and ask you.
I have also found that some of the biggest homophobes quickly change when they find that their child is Gay or Lesbian. This is not always the case but the odds are in your favor that you parents at the very least will accept your life style.
You may have to do a little educating by impressing upon them this one fact. That your sexuality is not a choice; this is how you were born and has nothing to do with them. You may want to gather some literature to support this which there is plenty of materiel available from LGTB and GLAAD if you need or want some.
Depending on how ingrained their homophobia is you may need supporting evidence to change their mind. Once again statistics are in your favor that they will at the very least be accepting of you once you tell them.
Hello there!
How can I learn more about the positive parenting movement? Are there classes we can take? Our baby is due in a couple months and I want to start out right. :)
I typed "Positive Parenting Classes" into a search engine and a host of different returns were received including online courses. I suggest you do the same and evaluate which of the returns best suits you.
I have cut for a long time. I had a two week clean and then after my boyfriend broke up with me over wanting to relapse ( we dated two months not long but still)he is saying tht he contributes to my depression. He also cuts and had been clean for three weeks, or so he says. If I can't keep someone as messed up as him why bother? This was out if the blue, everything was going fabulous and then one day I was asking for help because he stopped and I thought he cared, and he started saying how he's sick of this. And now he hates me.he won't talk to me. Out of desperation and depression yesterday I broke my clean in an extreme way, and nearly bled out I nearly passed out and it left these awful gaps in my skin that break open. They were horribly deep, but hey it gives me something else to focus on..? Is that a reason to break up with someone? Should I go back to therapy and shoul a get a new doctor for this? Why am i so worthless?
I want to focus on this one cut first. The fact that you had trouble controlling the bleeding; That the cut will not stay closed tells me the cut itself needs professional help to be properly closed. You do not want to accidently bleed out in your sleep if the cut should open.
This is the type of cut you can and should call 911 for. They will properly bandage the cut and transport you to the emergency room for treatment. If you are in school go to the health room and let them bandage the cut and they will call 911 to transport you to the hospital ER.
Yes you do need to get back into therapy. Cutting is dangerous as you have found out. It is also a sign of something more bothersome to you. I can't say for certain you are suffering from say clinical depression though you are despondent about something. Only a psychiatrist can say whether or not you are suffering from some form of depression.
This does not mean you are mentally ill. Not all forms of depression are a mental illness. In fact given your age you may be suffering what is now called teenage depression. When your parents and grandparents and their parents before them suffered from this it was called a phase that all teenagers went through and would grow out of. Most of them did because what is causing the problem is mostly physical. It is called puberty and either a problem in adjusting to the new hormones or an imbalance of these hormones. Both of which the doctor can correct with a pill.
The reason for seeing a psychiatrist and not your family doctor is simple. The hormones excrete into the brain which the psychiatrist is best trained to deal with. Once the doctor deals with the physical problem a psychologist helps you deal with the stress the hormonal problems created which is the most likely root cause of the depression. Find the dominant depressor and deal with that any you will feel better.
As for therapy; you need to be comfortable with the psychologist. He or she must be your new best friend. Someone you are willing to share your deepest secrets with. Don't worry anything said in therapy gets back to mom and dad. Your therapist is there to help you but you have to be willing to work with the therapist and that means trusting him or her. So yes you may want to find a new therapist and you may want a female therapist if you feel you will be more comfortable with one. so open your mouth and say so. It is your right to ask for someone you are comfortable with.
This is what you need to now in this order:
1. Get the cut properly treated. If in school go to the health room NOW. IF not in school call 911.
2. See a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis. This could be done at the hospital in the ER.
3. Find a therapist you are comfortable with and work with him and her. Trust that nothing gets back to mom or dad that is said in therapy.
I am a 35 year old overweight woman. My guy of 2 years doesn't like fat girls, AT ALL, so i sent him a fake picture at the beginning. I recently sent him a real pic of me, and he broke up with me. I am so in love with this man, and i don't want to lose what we have. I really need to get healthy anyways, so i am thinking about getting the Lapband surgery. It will basically be for health reasons, but it mostly will be to stay happy n keep my relationship alive. I am tired of being alone. My brother says considering that he is locked up, and i was willing to accept that stipulation, that he should be open to continue to love me the same, cause weight is something that can be easily fixed n should not be a deal breaker. SHOULD I DO THIS TO REMAIN HAPPY??
If you want to lose weight you do so for yourself and not for anyone else. When I guy breaks up with you because of your physical appearance and says what he said. He is first and foremost an idiot and someone who is looking for a trophy woman.
I will concede that being overweight is not healthy. depending on how overweight you are you could be hurting yourself and opening yourself up to many different health problems. That being said it remains that losing weight has to be something you do for yourself. You must want to lose the weight.
Should YOU decide that YOU wish to lose weight you start by visiting your doctor. There are physical reasons why people are overweight such as thyroid problems. These need to be checked for before you start any diet if you wish to be successful. So a full physical is called for telling your doctor you wish to go on a diet one the doctor will supervise.
While the doctor is examining you ask to be screened for depression. Nothing says you are depressed. Depression is another reason people are overweight. People who suffer from clinical depression sometimes turn to food for comfort; those that do become overweight. Statistically 1 in 3 people suffer from some form of clinical depression at some time in their life. The test is painless as it is just a bunch of questions the doctor asks with which a diagnoses can be made. Answer the questions as honestly as possible and with the first answer to come to mind.
Most importantly if you chose to diet you do so for yourself and no one else. If you do so for yourself you will be successful. As far as the idiot is concerned; Frankly he does not deserve you so let him be.
I am 13 years old and currently live in Pennsylvania. My family and I have moved 11 times and soon we will be moving to New Jersey. This is the longest we've ever lived in one place (3 years) so I've actually made some real friends, a boyfriend, joined some clubs, etc. Before I didn't care if we moved or not because I was little and we never lived in one place long enough for me to make friends. I really don't want to leave behind what I've built her and go to New Jersey. We are moving because of my father's job, so if we want income we have to move. Is there anything I can do to prevent the move and get my father to work here in Pennsylvania? If not, how can I adjust?
I'm sure, as a parent myself, that your parents are aware how hard it is on you to be uprooted and moved every few years. Again as a parent, we know as our children become older and start to form social relationships, as you have, how much harder these moves are on you now.
If it were possible and financially feasible for dad to commute from where you live now to his job in New Jersey I'm sure he would have given this a consideration. My dad did this for my sister for her last two years in high school we living on long Island an him commuting to his job two hours away in New Jersey. He left home about 5 in the morning to be at the office by 8. Then left the office after 6 so not to sit in traffic and got home around 8. It was a long day. He ate dinner relaxed for an hour and went to bed.
This routine gets old and tiring real fast and if it was just for a year or so and it was possible I'm sure your dad would consider it. You have at least 4 years of school left and this would be a lot to ask of dad. If there is a next time and if it is possible for him to commute then I would suggest you ask him if he would do so. This time I think you have to take one for the family and put a smile on your face and start packing your things.
You have moved often enough that I believe you know how to make friends. New Jersey and Pennsylvania are very much a like so I believe you will not have any trouble making new friends. Please don't make this move any harder on your dad then it already is. As a parent we know moving is hard on are children. Most importantly to us though is that we provide properly for our families. We have to weigh this which is our first priority against, all other things we do in life when making changes that affect our family.
14/f
I'm skinny, have short blonde hair, and very slightly tanned white skin. I try very hard to look nice; I wear make-up ( little to no mascara, light concealer, and a clear lipgloss, usually.), clean, nice clothes, and my hair is healthy, and 'cute', but people call me lesbian because of it. I get constantly shamed because people can see my make-up line (ex: today a girl laughed aloud and pointed at my face saying, "haha it's like one skin tone,and then another one". People also say things about my eyes, whose colors are very pretty, but they are.. "buggy". Yesterday a boy pointed at me and said, "hey it looks like your eyes are buldging out of your head haha". I tried really hard not to cry. I recently heard that this girl in my class was accidentally called my name by her guy friend, and she said, "Ew! I'm not ugly!". I asked her why she said that and she apologized and said it was an inside joke. I told her that I wouldn't have understood it even if it wasn't an inside joke. I feel very unloved, and I don't understand why. I mean, I'm 5'3", B-cupped, tall, skinny, but in an athletic way. I look in a mirror and see myself as pretty, but then I hear these comments and I don't understand. I'm nice to everyone as best I can, I get good grades... I don't understand. Could anyone explain this?
I can't explain why kids are the way they are. What I can tell you is that the way they are has been that way since about the beginning of time. What I will attempt to do is suggest ways to limit their cruelty.
From what you have written you sound like a very pretty young lady. Why are you hiding this under makeup? Another thing about the makeup is you say; "I get constantly shamed because people can see my make-up line." This tells me you are either wearing too much makeup or the wrong makeup. Your makeup should blend into your skin and there should not be a makeup line.
As I said from what you have written I see no reason to even wear makeup, maybe some lip gloss and if you must some light eye liner. If you feel you must wear makeup then go to a department store when the cosmetician or makeup artist is there who can help you chose the right makeup and show you how to properly apply it. Given your age you may want to have your mom with you as they will most likely want moms permission.
As to "Buggy eyes" I'm not sure what that means. What I can assure you is that whatever it means it is not a permanent situation. As you go through puberty everything about you will change. Becoming a woman is not just growing breasts and getting a period. Your entire body changes, your hips grow, your butt changes, your stomach flattens and your entire face changes shape to become softer and more womanly.
As for the lesbian thing: They have no idea what they are talking about. Come up with a smart reply. Something like, "He, he it takes one to know one.
What is most important though is to ignore them for they are idiots. You have a good self-esteem about you and that is good. Do not let them take that away from you. Enjoy being a teenager for you only have one chance at being a teenager. Most importantly enjoy being you. You sound like someone people need to know. Anyone who avoids you is the one who is losing, not you.
i am a virgin 19 yrs old . i had anal sex with my boyfriend 4 months back . i took an emergency contraceptive pill just to make sure i dnt get pregnant. and i got my periods on time for that month... but from the next month i dint get my periods till now ...so its been 3 months since i got my periods . in these 3 months i had anal sex twice but i was sure that it wont cause any pregnancy as my bf dint ejaculate anywhere near to my pussy so i dint use ipill .. but i am not getting periods.. i did pregnancy test many times but the result was always negative ... now can u please tell me why i am not Getting my periods even when the test is negative ?? and are there any chances of me being pregnant now ? how many days will a sperm be alive in a girls body ?? please answer me . what can i do to get my periods immediately ??
You cannot get pregnant from anal sex, as you have indicated you are aware of. One of the reasons girls do anal sex is it is a fantasy of every young man to have anal sex. By allowing it the girls preserves her virginity and does not have to worry about pregnancy. Still you should be using a condom for the prevention of the STDS a condom protects against and to protect the boy from infections by the germs of the Anus.
As to why you are not getting your period. I am not a doctor, none of us are. There are two factors that are quite common that could be your problem. The first and most probable cause is the stress over whether you will become pregnant even though you know you can't get pregnant from anal sex and home tests say you’re not. Stress is the biggest cause of women not getting her period. This can happen at any time during your menstrual life when you become over stressed.
The second has to do with puberty. Yes even at your present age puberty is still working on you. Depending on when you started into puberty at times during puberty it is not uncommon to skip a few periods.
There is one other possibility that I'm not quite sure has anything to do with missing your periods. You took a plan "B" pill. Doing so may have disrupted your cycle and your body is readjusting.
Since it has been 3 months since your last period I would suggest you check in with your gynecologist just to make sure everything is okay. I'm positive you are not pregnant, the home test say you’re not.
You do not need to worry about mom as at 19 you are an adult and have the full medical confidentiality of any adult. Meaning your parents can no longer discuss or access you medical records with or from your doctors without your consent since you turned 18. Technically speaking your parents can no longer make any of your doctor’s appointments for you as this is now something you must do yourself. This is all part of becoming an adult and this falls under a federal law called HIPPA.
It does not matter that you may still be on their health insurance. I could be paying your medical bills; it would still not give me the right to see your medical records without your written consent to the doctor.
In fact when next visiting your doctors, any of your doctors make sure to update your HIPPA consent forms. You have probably not updated these forms since mom filled them out as you parent and guardian. These forms are the written consent that would allow a doctor to discuss your medical history with anyone you designate. You can update them to show only the insurance companies which must be shown in order to submit you claim for payment.
what is the average life span of a dog?
It really depends on the breed. Certain breeds have longer lifespans than other. On average pure breeds live between 10 to 12 years.
Mixed breeds, or mutts or pound puppies as they are called today, can live as long as 20 years.
I'm trying to wrap my head around this. I've read why men have affairs, and this man does not fall into any category. He's in his 50's, I'm in my 40's, so it's not like I'm some young, hot, woman. In fact, I am not attractive at all (even worse with out clothes on). He loves his wife, he's told me many times, he would never leave her. I'm not exciting, I am not confident and have very low self-esteem, so, it's not like I bring anything to the table. He and his wife still have an active sex life, she doesn't make him mad, they have two wonderful sons and are the perfect couple. He says he has never cheated on his wife and feels guilty doing it (which I know I'm going to hear in the comments, he's lying, but for sake of argument, assume he is telling the truth). Yet, we've met a few times for sex, talked and spent the day together, so you can't say it was just for the sex. He and his wife still go out, he talks fondly of her, they don't have any financial problems. It's not like he wants to leave her. I would think, if a man is going to have an affair, he would reach for the sky, not for some loser.
After reading what your wrote this is the scenario I saw in my head.
Your home is somewhere between his work and home. He's on his way home; he is horny but tonight is his wife's bridge night so he's not going to get any from her tonight. So he stops at your house has a quick fuck with you then home to his wife for dinner before she is off to her bridge club.
Worst thing about this scenario is you allow this to happen. You're not his first and you won't be his last. His wife may even know this about him but as long as he is discreet, satisfies her needs she puts up with it because she is accustomed to a certain life style he provides or for the sake of the children.
I am not going to condemn you for the part you play in this, especially given how you feel about yourself he supplies a means to and end for you; that in and un itself id the worst of all. No women should have that low a self-esteem to allow herself to be treated this way.
Basically he is saying to you, Hi I'm horny, get naked and spread your legs for me. Come on you deserve better than that. You start by seeking the help of a psychologist to find out where you lost your self-esteem and get it back. You diet and exercise to look good again both in and out of your clothes. Get your hair styled and see a cosmetologist to learn what make-up to us to high-light you best features. Then treat yourself to some new clothes. They don't have to be fancy or expensive; just stylish.
Once you start feeling good about yourself you won't need guys like this. You don’t have to be cover girl beautiful to attract decent men. you just need some self-esteem.
I'm a 19 year old girl and I've been engaged to the love of my life for over a year now. He's 19 as well. Our relationship is great and everything runs smoothly except one thing. He's met all of my family and they love him but I haven't met all of his family yet because they live out of state. The problem is is that some of them have judged me cruely; told my fiancé I wasn't hardworking and wasn't worthy enough to be with him, even though they don't know me. Because of this they've been trying to get him to leave me for a girl that's a family friend down where they live. My fiance's reassured me that their opinion doesn't change how he feels about me and never will and they will have to live with it, but I don't know what to do. Not only was all this very hurtful but now I'm very worried about meeting them and if something bad will happen with them plotting to get my fiancé with another girl. I've even started wondering myself whether I'm good enough for him now. What should I do? Should I just ignore them? Should I talk to my fiancé more about it? I'm so afraid to meet them now because I don't know what will happen. Please help me. Any advice will help. Has anyone else had a similar situation?
This is unfortunate it has happened but it happens more often than you may think; most of the time the problem has to do with religion. Other times it has to do with geography such as the civil war never ended. Whatever reason there is for it the hardship is always going to be there for the person it is directed to. In this case you.
If I was to hazard a guess I would say the problem probably starts with his mother. While most moms' feel no women is good enough for their son. His mom may be taking it a bit farther.
Should I be correct then my advice is to stand up to her. Be strong, tell her that you two are going to marry and that you intend to care and cherish him. You don't say if you two plan to finish college or if you are in college. If you are and you do plan to finish then tell her so.
Don't bother asking her why she doesn't like you it will be all BS any way. Just tell her if she continues to try and get between you and your husband that she will pay a price. Be frank with her. Tell her you wear the panties in the family, panties her son enjoys getting into and one day in the future his enjoyment will bring about a child. If she ever wants to see her grandchildren see her grandchildren and enjoy the she better bring about a cease and desist with in her family.
Yes respect needs to be earned. There are times though while earning that respect you have to resort to a sledge hammer to get it. I believe future mom in-law will respect you if you stand up to her. My wife earned my mother’s respect that way. Fortunately I didn't have to earn the respect of my wife's family they took an instant liking to me.
I have been seeing a Psychiatrist for about 3.5 years now for Anxiety and panic attacks.
I have mentioned ADHD to him and he put me on medication which worked out alright.
However, he thinks I may now have Bi polar which I disagree with. I think I have ADHD.
Can I go see a new psychiatrists even though I am under treatment with him for anxiety meds and Bi Polar?
I have not taken the Bi Polar meds because fear of side effects especially weight gain. I also do not believe that I am bi polar.
What can I do?
You have every right to get a second opinion. So the answer to your question is yes you can see another psychiatrist if you want to.
Until you do and based on the second opinion that doctor renders; I would suggest you take the medication as prescribed. Bipolar disorder is not something to play with. Those afflicted with it will feel perfectly well when not manic. This is the big problem with this disorder. When people with this disorder are manic they do not realize it and of course they are not on their medication which is why they went manic.
When someone with bipolar disease swings to the manic stage they can do things they would never do when they are not in the manic stage. Some of these things would include those so unlawful they end up in jail or they could bankrupt themselves or anything in between.
Now nothing says that you will go manic and end up in jail, but it can happen. I understand how the meds will make you feel as a good friend of my wife's and I is bipolar. She appointed my wife her financial guardian. During one manic period she went on a buying spree, she was of her meds and we didn't know it. We returned nearly $25,000 worth of Jeweler and clothing bought from different shopping clubs. When we got her back on her meds and showed her what she had bought she had no idea. She had maxed out two credit cards.
By all means get a second opinion and that opinion should come from a Board Certified Psychiatrist. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is an MD who has received a fellowship in psychiatry and past certain test to be Board Certified. Not all psychiatrists are Board Certified. But please take your medication until you receive the second opinion and know for sure if you are or are not suffering from bipolar disorder.
My dad is very overprotective and he knows how to work computers so what do I do to get one without them knowing
P.S. He is very NOSEY
I do not recommend going behind your dad's back to obtain a computer. The price you will pay when he finds out, and he will, will be very high.
Instead of going behind his back you need to convince him that a computer is no longer a luxury. That computers are used in school and that class assignments and homework assignments for some teachers are assigned on the computer and that students must to go online to get them. At least that is the way things are in the schools where I live. It is also the way of the future in education as more and more schools are wired for the web.
Your school may or may not be fully there yet but it will be as that is the way education is going. If you need help in a subject you will be able to email your teacher. There will be tutoring sessions online as well. To take advantage of this you will need at the very least either a laptop or tablet computer.
Should your school be going this way or is there now. Then enlisting the help of your teachers to convince your dad to allow you to have a laptop or tablet computer should convince your dad of the need. Until he sees the need he won't by you one. What you are trying to do is convince your dad you NEED a computer not just want one. You have to sell him on the need not the desire. When he sees the need I'm sure he will change his mind.
Honesty is always the best policy. There is an old quote; "Those who seek to deceive are in the end deceived themselves." Think about that before you go behind your dads back to get anything.
My mom cant work right now so I have been doing everything for the passed eight months. I used to work two jobs and walk two hours each day at one a.m. because of how late the other job was. I would get home at about three thirty and sleep a couple hours to get to my second job which started at seven. I did all this so we could make rent and bills and groceries. Im 21the now. Dying to go to school. A month ago I dropped both jobs because I was feeling overwhelmed. Mymom does help with the utilities. So when I lost my job rent was coming due and I told her we were going to be short. Instead she was worried about paying off a friend she owed. I found out she has a bit of money saved away. It hurt me so much because Im giving up everything. My last penny whiles shes clinging on to her stash in the account. My brother was the one who ended up helping me make the rent. I just dont get it. And then she tells me that if she were in a position ti work she would never quit her job knowing that there were other people depending on it. I just feel like shes so ungreatful. Ive done so much already and it means nothing. I already found another job. But Im just shocked that my own mother would rather watch me drown and pawn my laptop and do so much while she has the ability to at least try and lighten the load. Am i overreacting? Shes going to be able to start working soon but just not yet. I just want to know if im being stupid or not for feeling this way. Im 21 by the way.
No I don't think your being selfish or stupid. The one being selfish is mom. You don't say why mom can't work. If she is sick or temporarily disabled there are funds such as Social security disability that are available to apply for. If qualified they would pay up to 66 2/3 of what she was earning for the deration of her disability. There is in many states unemployment insurance she could have applied for while disabled an unable to work. Was she aware of this and did she try to obtain this help for herself. There was also the possibility that she had short term disability insurance through her last employer. If she did she may still be able to apply for that.
IF mom knew of this assistance but did not avail herself of them because she may have felt they were charity... Then she was not only selfish she was being stubborn. These programs are programs you and she pay into as part of your payroll taxes they are not charity you earn them.
You were being very unselfish by giving up your own needs and desires to care for your mother and provide for her. For her to allow you to possible harm yourself with the schedule you kept was very wrong of her when she had funds to help herself.
Just what does a child owe their parents? To my mind absolutely nothing; there is an old Indian saying that it takes an entire village to raise a child. The village expects nothing in return from that child except to become a full participating, law abiding member of that village. The same view can be held of a family.
Children do not ask to be born. When they come into this world they are totally dependent on those who brought them in to this world for all their needs until they are old enough to make their own way in the world. Must children repay their parents for all they do for their children; legally no. Morally is another question. Should a child make themselves sick, bankrupt themselves or in any other way harm themselves to provide for their parents out of moral obligation. No especially if that parent won't help themselves and avail themselves of what is out there to help themselves.
You do not say if mom did or did not apply for the services that would have helped her and allowed you to fill in just what she was short if any. Which hopefully would have allowed you to continue with school?
I think it is admiral of you to do what you have done. Now that you know that mom has funs to care for herself and that she has literally taken advantage of you it is time to cut her off. This will do two things. First and foremost it will allow you to get back to leading your own life which you are certainly entitled too. Second it will push mom to get back to work rather than stretch things out further than may be required. Also it will force her to spend the money she has not spent which forced you to work two jobs.
If your living with your mother; move out. Find a roommate and rent an apartment or find a room you can rent. Once you are out of moms' house you are no longer obligated to pay anything for living at home.
No you are not stupid or selfish. I believe you are being taken advantage of and it is time to force it to stop.