Member Since:June 18, 2009
Last Update:March 6, 2014
General Sex Questions
aboutThe object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.
I have the opportunity to sleep with a guy, but there are a couple things that Should keep me away from him (he's married and my boss) but at the same time, I'm running out of reasons not to go through with it. What are the pros and cons of doing so?
I don't see any pros here, though I see a host of cons.
1. Unless he owns the company you could both lose your jobs if found out. You will be found out as this situation almost always is.
2. HE'S MARRIED. THAT MAKES HIM OFF LIMITS.
3. Office romances or affairs always makes for bad relationships with coworkers who usually find out.
4. Being named in a divorce suit.
5. It may just be sex for now; what if you become romantically attached.
6. What if the relationship doesn't workout and he fires you. Then it is sexual harassment and you could break up his marriage if you sued.
The list goes on and and on. These are just six reasons to give him for not sleeping with him. If he says sleep with me or your fired. Refer to reason number six which would be in effect. Though only for harassment and not because you slept with him.
My problem at school is that I'm not a well liked person. I don't know why. All of my class mates are weird, and get lower grades than me. Most of them don't care when they get in trouble or get bad grades in school. Also, none of the girls like me. I'm 13/m and I'm so unpopular and I want to at least be liked by all of my class mates,and I go to a catholic school, and it's not really easier making friends there and I've actually been there since i was 5 and my friends ditched me. Help!
Mackie3 has told you as it is. Let me put it nother way.
It's hard being the smartest kid in the class, especially when the others don't care if about their grades. I can assure you their parent scare and is at least one reason they may dislike you as you are not getting chastised at home for poor grades.
Being 13 would put you in middle or Jr. High school which is a social quagmire. Everyone is dealing with the effects of puberty, harder school work, greater expectations both at home and school and a new social order.
Will things ever change? Yes. At some point some of the girls will wake up and understand that the brainless jocks and the class clowns will never be successful in life. Never be able to provide for them as their parents have. That the smart boy, boys like you are the boys they should be dating.
I'm sure in your school there are smart girls who like you feel left out because they are smarter than the rest of their classmates. I would suggest that you try and find these girls and try and make friends with them. I believe you will not only find them very interesting bit fun to be with as well.
I'm 11,am I to young for my first kiss?I really like my bf but i feel i'll be making a bad choice if we kiss.By the way,i'm a girl!
Hi, Sometimes when you ask a question like this you have actually answered your own question. Anytime you question, it does not matter how old you are, if something you want to do is the right thing to do. The question is your internal safeguard telling you that this something may be unsafe or something you are not ready for.
In this instance I think your mind is telling you; Hey wait a minute, we're not ready yet to kiss boys. Boys are still yucky. Okay, I'm being a little silly in my description but the point is the same. You may not be ready for that first kiss and this is why you are questioning if this is a bad choice. For right now I'm going to go along with your warning system and say this is a bad time to have a first kiss.
This warning system I'm talking about will always be with you. Listen to it as it will keep you safe. When you question if something is the right thing to do it is a signal that it is probably the wrong thing to do. You could be hurt or get in really serious trouble; so don't do it. Rethink what your doing and see if there is a better way to do or to get whatever it is.
Now as for dating. Your 11 way to young to be dating. No disrespect but you need to be a little girl for a while longer. Give yourself time to mature and grow into the role of young adult teenager. It is okay to have a boy friend but not a boyfriend. Someone to walk to school with or ride the bus with but no dating.
One other piece of advice. The best person to ask this type of question is your mom. This kissing and dating is not sex so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Mom has gone through everything you are going through and will have good advice for you. If you want the boys prospective on life at your age talk to dad.
As parents we may be old but we do remember what life was like when we were your age. If you ask us we will talk to you about our lives when we were your age. But you have to ask.
there was this one girl who worked at the tutor lab at my college. I used to get help from her a lot, she's the type of girl I really like. I really wanted to be her friend but I was too scared to talk to her now she's not there anymore and I am so sad, I wish I had talked to her more and really wanted to be her friend just like other people I know did. I am so miserable and mopey. Any helpful tips in making myself feel better?
The best advise I can give you is to learn from this experience. If this girl has graduated and moved on it is going to be a herculean task to try and find her. As another advisor said everything happens for a reason.
The reason here may be to send you a message not to be timid the next time you see a girl you like and want to get to know. As a life long salesman I can tell you that when someone tells you no they are not truly rejecting you; even in this concept. They are saying no for other reasons, even in this concept; one for which they do not need to explain. So do not take it personally.
As my mother use to tell me; there are plenty of fish in the sea, just keep fishing.
My advice: If you see someone you like, go up and introduce yourself and start talking to her. Being in college there are plenty of subjects to break the ice with. You may stumble the first time or two. Here again the old saying of practice makes perfect is in effect. So keep trying.
In college some people, especially girls, have rules by which they date. She may only date grad students, or students in her own major or year. In your case there may have been rules about a tutor dating a student she is tutoring. So unless you know for sure why a girl turns you down for a date never take it personally.
if you have anal sex can a girl get pregro
We get asked this question a lot. Only the womb, which is connected to the vagina can support a pregnancy. The rectum, ass, is connected to thebowel which is an entirely different system within the body and is not connected in any way to the womb.
The only possible way you could get a girl pregnant from coming in her rectum is for the semen to leak out and find its way to her vagina.
Frankly speaking the rectum is so full of bacteria I don't think any sperm would live long enough to make the journey should they leak from the back door and find the front door. Though as the saying goes anything is possible.
Curiosity question? Since we get asked this question so often just what to the teach in sex ed today?
i missed my periods it was supposed to start on 2nd but today i saw very few spots of blood after the intercourse but the periods dint start please suggest me what action should i take.
Given all the festivities of the holidays it is quite possible you could have thrown your cycle of, not uncommon no matter how regular your period is. Give yourself a few days before you start to worry.
Do you guys have any advice for a newcomer on the site? Like how to rate, how to give good advice. I've already answered a few on here but I'm worried that my advice might be bad.
(PS. I added my username for a reason so that you guys can give me a nice feedback and fully informed advice)
I took a look at your site and I would say so far so good.
Giving advice is a learned experience which comes mostly through our own experiences. You said in your column that you wish to give advice to teenagers as you are one yourself. This is a good starting place as you are giving advice based on your own life experience.
As you get more comfortable giving advice you may want to venture further a field. Have you ever heard the expression that someone can't see the forest for the trees. What it means is they are too close to the problem to see the solution. We get a lot of these questions in the form of; "How do I find?" If you are good at doing research or using search engines then you may want to answer some of these questions.
We also see a lot of questions asking for help with what looks like homework questions. Most of us will not answer these questions. Some may steer them to where they can find the answer if it looks like it may require research to answer the question. Use your own good judgement with these questions.
Most of all as you answer more question your confidence will grow.
So, I went to a small house party about two months ago. It was fun, and I got wasted. Like, pretty bad. The next morning I vomited about five times and felt terrible until late into the afternoon. That was the first time I had gotten that bad. Though it was really fun to be drunk, my body now cannot do alcohol. Any time I try to drink, I feel nauseous just from the taste. Now that I know my limits, I'd like to drink again, but I can't! How do I get over this? It seems like classical conditioning, but the extinction process is taking way too long. Some help would be appreciated!
It would really help to know your age on this question. I'm not asking to know if you are of legal drinking age or not.
Sometimes what you are experiencing is the bodies own protection mechanism kicking in. Another advisor called aversion, which it is. There are real reasons for this mechanism to occur and in many cases it is age triggered. Your body just may not and may never be able to properly tolerate alcohol. Looking at the big picture not tolerating alcohol is really not all that bad. There are plenty of non alcoholic beverages on the market that will give you the taste of the alcoholic beverage without the reaction.
You didn't mention if you are or were on any type of medications. Medications for ADHD, or depression do not mix well with alcohol. Which would cause some of the reaction you had. Hence the aversion reaction you are getting.
If you are not on medication and you are young then it is possible your body may learn to tolerate alcohol. To do that moderation is the by-word. You could try wines which have lover alcohol content than beer or whiskey and see how your body handles that. They also have less of an alcohol smell to them.
You could also talk with your doctor if you get violently ill from, as you say, even a taste. But beware if you are under 21 your doctor may not be very sympathetic.
Okay, so I need advice on how to deal with my parents' extreame aggression.
Here is the thing, I am not a perfect child, and I know I can do wrong sometimes, but sometimes my parents get mad for littlest things. Their way of dealing with situations is not pleasent. Whether I deserve the trouble or not, this is usually their dealing process.
1. Extreamly loud shouting (not bothering to listen to explanation)
2.Hit me/Throw stuff at me (they have punched me, pulled my hair, whipped me with a cord, slapped me, etc. I wouldn't considerit child ABUSE, but rather excessive force.)
3.Threatening to kick me out/police station (I've been taken their, and kicked out of the house on a cold night)
What should I do? I don't know how to deal with their anger rages, and all the hurt...
Everything you listed is a form of child abuse:
1. Excessive yelling - Mental Abuse
2. Hitting you,throwing stuff at you, punching, pulling hair, whipped with an object, slapping about the face or body. - Child Abuse.
Parents are allowed to discipline a child within reason and would include a hand spanking within reason.
3. Putting you out of the house. Child abuse also Mental abuse.
I know you love your parents and in their own way they you. They may be trying something called tuff love as a form of discipline. Problem with tuff love is it is abusive which makes it illegal.
What can you do to protect yourself. You can call the hotline the other advicer gave you; 1-800-4-a-child. Or in the morning when you go to school you can talk to a trusted teacher or school principal.
If as you have said you are being slapped or punched these have left bruises the teachers may have noticed and wondered about. Your telling them about what is going on at home and how you came by these bruises will help then get you the help and protection you need.
Every state has child protection laws. By telling a teacher they are required by those laws to make the proper notifications that activate the protections within those laws to protect you from abuse.
You can do both. You can call the child protective hotline today and in the morning talk with a teacher and or your school principal.
If as you say you are not the perfect child, you also do not deserve to be abused as you have told us either. So make the call or tell a teacher.
If dad smacks you around before you can do either call 911. Scream help into the phone. Dad may tell them nothing is wrong but they will have to send someone anyway to check. This will include demanding to see who dialed the phone.
NOTE: This seriously is NOT my personal question.
One of my closest friend was talking to me about a problem she has been having lately. She admits she is bisexual (attracted to both sexes) but says she does not want to be that way. She knows her parents won't accept the fact that she is bisexual, as it is FORBIDDEN in her house. She wishes she could just come out and expose the real her, but fears judgement, and her parents. Note: She has had a secret relationship with a girl. What advice should I give her? Should she tell her parents? Expose the real her? Please, I really don't know what to tell her.
This is a really hard question to give advice on. One thing that would help to know would be her age.
First the age question. If your friend is between the ages of 14 and 18 I'm more inclined to believe she is more into experimenting with her sexuality than being truly bisexual. During these years, puberty and the hormones released play tricks on a persons sexual make up. This can cause some confusion in just who we are sexually. This does not mean that a 16 year old does not know who they are sexually. It just means they are more the exception than the rule.
If your friend is 18 or older then we are looking at a different view. At this age she is more mature and possible more sexually aware and experienced. She is more confident in her sexuality. Given these facts it is very possible that she now knows who she is sexually.
In college I knew girls that you could almost label lesbians they were so into same sex, sex. Once we all graduated these girls went straight heterosexual. The reason; lesbian sex was more available, safer and relieved the sexual tension the were under. How would you or would you place a label on them.
I don't like labels to begin with. Once you pin a label on something or someone it is extremely hard to remove. I also believe we are also entitled to our own sexuality and there is nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual as long as whatever you do sexually is consenting between you and your partner.
So to answer your question: My advice is if you friend is between 14 and 18 she should not tell anyone. Not because there is anything wrong with being bisexual but because others, mainly kids at school will have problems with her being bisexual and she does not need that problem. There are times when labeling is more of a problem than it is a solution and this is one of them.
As for telling her parents? I would say given her parents feelings towards bisexual-ism she should not tell them. They really have no need to know right now while she is living under their roof. I realize this may be a bit of a problem for her now, though telling them may be a bigger problem. Frankly her sexuality is her business and not her parents. They have no need to know.
When she moves out of her parents home if she feels the need to tell them that would be the appropriate time to do so.
I get horny a lot and nothing can help my needs...there's guys I like and I know they like me or are attracted to me but they won't make a move they stay as friends even though they're single. I know I haven't had a boyfriend before but I do know how to treat a guy right (sexually and non sexually). What do I do?
P.s. I don't want to make the first move.
The best advice given so far is that of Erinn_the_bamf. You are way to young to be thinking of having sex and certainly not mature enough to handle the adult consequences of a sex life.
But let me focus on the teenage consequences of having sex. The one thing that has not changed in the decades since I was a teenager is that boys cannot keep a secret. If a boy has sex with their girlfriend they are going to tell someone. Usually their best friend. That friend tells someone else who tells someone else. Before you know it you have a reputation around school for being easy. This is not a reputation you want as it is one that is extremely hard to live down.
I'm not saying this may happen I'm saying it very well will happen. It happened when I was in school and we didn't have the social medias we have today. You can become extremely popular for all the wrong reasons. Not only in your school but in other schools as well.
My advice for now is to keep your clothes on and your hands to yourself. Stick to kissing boys for the next few years and keep that to boys you really like.
Im 14 and I was raped one day ago and while being raped I started to bleed heavily and the boy who did it didn't wear a condom. So I would like to what I should do? And what are the risk factors of me contracting an std and of getting pregnant? What could the bleeding mean?
You have very valid concerns but first things first. You are not responsible for being raped. Even if you know the boy if you said stop and he did not stop he raped you. This is all on him.
You need to report this rape to the police, even if you know the boy. Yes he will be in trouble. But he deserves to be in trouble. If he raped you has he raped others? Will he rape again?
He can say whatever he wants to say. If you did not consent to having sex and by law you are not old enough to consent, that is rape. You need to tell your parents and together you need to go to a hospital emergency room. You need to bring the clothes you were wearing and as well as the panties you were wearing, have mom put them in a plastic bag, and take them all with you to the Emergency room. The doctors there will examine you, treat you for possible pregnancy and test and treat you for STD exposure. They will by law also notify the police.
After reporting the rape and being seen at the hospital there is a group I would like you to call. The organization is called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They can help you with finding people in your home town to help you deal with what happened. This is not something you can just push to the back of your mind and hope it goes away. If treated properly with the help of professionals you can overcome this and go on to lead a normal life and have a normal sex life later on when you are ready. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them they can and they will help you.
Please, please remember you have done nothing wrong. Expect mom and dad to get upset when you tell them and you need to tell them. Their anger is not and will not be directed at you. That I can assure you of so do not misinterpret it. It may sound that way but it is really their attempt to find out the who, what and where so they can take the appropriate action against the boy who violate their daughter. Try not to get upset and start screaming at them for they are as upset and scared as you are.
Write me back in a private message if I can be of any more help and to let me know you are doing okay.
I need help. I have been told that the sooner to you submit your FAFSA the more money you get. Is it possible to submit your FAFSA with taxes from last year and then go back when you file taxes this year and edit the FAFSA?
Someone told me it was possible, but I just wanted to make sure.
The following was taken directly from the instruction sheet for filling out the FAFSA form. You can file now and then update your form with completed tax information after your parents have filed their tax returns. Instructions for doing so are on the FAFSA application instructions
"If you (or your parents) need to file a 2011 income tax return with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), we recommend that you complete it before filling out the FAFSA. If you have not completed your return yet, you can submit your FAFSA now using estimated tax information, and then correct that information after you file your return.
The easiest way to complete or correct your FAFSA with accurate tax information is by using the IRS Data Retrieval Tool through www.fafsa.gov. In a few simple steps, you may be able to view your tax return information and transfer it directly into your FAFSA."
My brother hits me and all kinds of stuff I still feel it but I'm feeling numb in my heart my mom does nothing about it and my brother always denies it. With feeling numb is that I don't feel a lot anymore and I have thought about suicide since I was 9 ans I still think about it even thoufh I'm 12 now. Me and my brother got into it last night and he really hurt me even though I put him on his butt but he still hits, kicks, punches,bites, and smacks me I need help. Any advice?
It would help to know how old you brother is. If he is much older than you then this is abuse that requires intervention from agencies outside your home. Since you say mom is unwilling to put a stop to it.
The reason I say much older than you is that at some point it this be looked at as normal sibling rivalry. Something mom should stop or at the very least attempt to control and protect you from. When does it turn from sibling rivalry to abuse is a question I cannot answer; as it is subjective rather than objective.
If mom is not willing or unable to protect you; then when school opens tomorrow go to a trusted teacher or your school principal and explain to them just as you have explained to us. Tell them about your suicidal thoughts.
Your teacher or principal will know what they need to do and by law must take action to protect you and keep you safe.
Do not follow the advice of Retry32 and get or use any type of weapon. This will only get you in trouble. Follow the advice of myself and the others and tell another trusted adult or school official how you feel and what your home life is like. This is where you will find the help you need.
So I know you give good advice about this kind of stuff. Me and my boyfriend want to have sex but I want to be prepared. We both decided we won't do it until I can get on birth control. He'll also use condoms of course.
Anyways, my parents wouldn't go for this at all. I live in California and I don't know if I can get birth control for free or if my parents will find out about it somehow or how much it'll cost if I do go.
I looked online at planned parenthood but it's not close by. I'm not sure if regular doctors office or a hospital would do the same?
Thank you for the compliment.
Lets start with your concerns about your parents: Their is a Federal Law called HIPPA which stands for: Health Information Personal Privacy Act. Under this law since you are over the age of 14 you have medical privacy. This means you can visit a doctor in complete privacy confident in the fact that anything discussed with the doctor; any examination and treatment given, remains completely confidential.
Only you can release your medical information and this must be in writing. If anyone in the employ of your doctor were to release information about your medical treatment they are subject to a $10,000 fine and 5 years in prison. This includes the doctor. This also includes fire fighters and paramedics who might treat you in the event of an accident. You might want to carry a note in your purse allowing for the contact of your parents in the event of an accident.
To the best of my knowledge birth control is not distributed free by your regular doctor but is covered under most medical insurance plans. Of course any prescription copay would apply.
You are 17 and in most states you are above the age of consent. Meaning you can consent to have sex as long as your boyfriend is not more than 3 to 4 years older than you. No one will get into trouble with the law. You should look this fact up on line to make sure as the age of consent varies from state to state.
Should mom find your birth control pills, if that is the method you and your doctor decide upon. Just tell mom your doctor gave them to you to regulate your period as this is the primary method to do that.
Even though you may be covered under your parents health insurance, with the exception of that which may require parental permission, such as certain operations, you now control your medical being, not your parents. Mom cannot insist on being in the exam room with you if you do not want her there. The doctor must abide by your instructions in those instances and keep your medical confidentiality.
So, if you are covered under your parents insurance go see your GYN. Get a script for birth control and have it filled at your local pharmacy as you would any other prescription.
Me and my partner have a very complicated relationship,we are constantly quarreling bc we don't agree in almost anything,but we work things out with sex,I know this is not healthy,though,but it has become our perfect remedy,we just forget about everything,don't talk at all and just have sex,but the next day things usually are the same,what could I do about this??thanks!!
I have to say that a relationship built entirely on sex is a relationship built on quicksand. At some point the uniqueness of the sex will dull and even the sex will become routine. Then you have nothing in common.
If sex is the only thing the two of you can have together without fighting; my advice is for the two of you to part company.
Probably not the answer you want to hear but I believe it is the correct answer. Beauty and sexual attraction is what may be needed to start a relationship. For a relationship to grow and be nurtured their must be more. Common interest or activities. The desire to learn about similar things are what is needed to develop a healthy relationship. I don't see this in your writing to us.
Which is the least awkward way of telling your protective parents you would like to date. Im a 14 yr old girl btw.
To start with you are going about this in the right way. By asking your parents rather than trying to do this behind their back you are showing them your maturity. Even over protective parents are going to take note of this.
To continue along the mature path means you must remain calm when talking to them about this subject. I have to tell you that as a parent myself I am somewhat opposed to a 14 year old dating in the true sense of the word. Your maturity shown in how you asked and worded your question is why I have chosen to help you.
To help yourself remain calm, before you sit down to talk to mom and dad. Sit down with pen and paper an make a list of talking points. This is a salesman's trick we use when talking to a customer who is good at getting you off subject.
The first thing I think, given my belief in dating age, that I would want to hear is what your definition of dating is. Is it group mall type dating, double dating, or individual dating. Next what places do you think you and the boy you are interested in might go on a date.
Next I would want to hear about anyone in particular that you might be interested in. His name, how old he is, what school does he go to as well as anything else you know about him.
This next thing and this is the clincher, as the saying goes you save the best for last. You promise that anyone you date will have to come to the house to meet them when picking you up for a date. I would say this point is very important to any parent but most important to an overprotective parent.
From there you promise to honor any curfew they set. To call home if for some reason your going to be late and explain why. To let them know where you will be and that if plans change you will call first.
If you are allowed to date you have to honor these commitments. For two reasons. First and foremost it is the right thing to do. For the second; failure to honor these commitments will give your parents reason to suspend your dating privileges. Once suspended it will be very hard to regain them.
As I said you sound like a very mature 14 year old. I don't see the need to lecture you on commitment or being respectful of your parents. I see respect in your question and I see the maturity needed to honor your commitments. Just remember not to get so involved as to lose track of time.
A couple or few months ago, I woke up one day and the hearing in my left ear was weird. I noticed that my left ear heard things in a lower pitch, causing my hearing to be a little dissonant. I went to the doctor, but my doctor said my ear didn't have any earwax buildup. I also took a hearing test and the doctor said there were no problems, except for the fact that my left ear heard things in a lower pitch. My doctor said to wait a week, and if things didn't get better, he would send me somewhere else. After a week, my hearing in my left ear went back to normal. A couple of days ago, the hearing in my left hear became funky again! The best I can describe it is that I'm hearing things at a lower pitch again. I don't think it's a full octave lower, but probably a half step lower. I was testing my hearing by listening to music with some ear buds, and I noticed that the hearing in my left ear is a little softer than the right. I also noticed that some sounds/music/taking sounds robotic, like having the effect of speaking into a fan. For example, the person singing sounds MOSTLY normal (depends, some may sound robotic), but if the song has piano in its instrumental, the piano sounds robotic/distorted. I don't know if this helps, but I did another test by pushing the right and left earbuds into my ear, and by doing so to the left one, the music is mostly muffled. If I switch the right earbud into my left ear and push it, the music is not muffled. I currently don't have any sensitivity to loud sounds, nor do I experience a ringing/buzzing/whistling in my left ear. I don't experience nausea or dizziness either. I am not sick either; I don't have any allergies or sinus/congestion problems. I did a lot of searching but all I could find was hearing loss and tinnitus and such. I'm a seventeen year old female if that helps. Does anyone know what is wrong with my ear, or have suggestions on what I should do? I'm really scared that this may be something serious, or that I might lose the hearing in my left ear! :\
I am not a doctor so I can't help you with why you are having a problem. What I can do is save you a trip back to your family doctor, unless you need a referral to see a specialist.
The doctor you need to see is an Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat specialist (ENT). I have had hearing test done in my family doctors office and they are not anything like the hearing test done in an ENT office. To start with they are done in a sound proof room and are much more in depth. The ENT is much better trained to examine the ear and inner ear than the family practitioner. The ENT will also, most likely, order a CT scan to look for soft tissue damage to the sinuses and inner ear. The ENT also has fiber optic cameras they can use to look at your sinuses.
As I said the ENT can do a much more thorough exam and make a more definitive evaluation of your hearing and sinuses. I just went through one and found out things I didn't know I had that my family doctor couldn't diagnose. Like a cleft palate the result of an auto accident.
My advice: Go see an ENT doctor and get a thorough exam to see if there is anything wrong with your hearing. Early detection could mean the difference with living with the condition or having it corrected.
I a few months ago started watching porn which lead to masterbating. I also have cyber sex. I have seen dicks but only through pics and a video (live and not). I have masterbated with alot o things but never had a girl or guy like have sex or finger me or eat me out or butt sex. Am i a virgin?!?
By my definition of the term virgin you are still a virgin.
The term "VIRGIN", can be interpreted in many different ways. The most strict interpretation is one that means; "pure." By pure it is meant that the virgin, generally female, is not knowledgeable at all to the world of sex. This definition has gone out the window some time ago.
The most popular definition of virgin means non-penetration of penis to vagina. So as long as you are not penetrated by a penis you will remain a virgin by most peoples definition of virgin.
The thing is that i have a boyfriend named matthew and my mom doesnt want me to but i really like him and stuff like that. me an my mother have been argueing about this for over a month now she doesnt trust me to do anything please help me what do i do to gain her trust but also have matthew as my boyfriend still.
Being someone who is old enough to probably be your grandfather. I could probably help you deal with your mother if I knew your age and the age of the boy.
There are many different reasons parents object to their children being in relationships. One of them is age and age difference. This is why I have asked you about your age and the age of the boy.
It is not always a trust issue about you especially when the YOU is the female in the relationship. You may be forgetting we were all once your age and not much has changed since we were your age. Your mom is only trying to protect you, I believe.
It gets a little complicated here and the more I know about you and your boyfriend the more I might understand why your mother is being the ways she is. If I can understand why mom is acting as she is I may be able to give you some suggestions as to helping her to see your side of the equation and coming to a workable solution.
Again I really don't think this is a trust issue on towards you. Write me a private message if you would like more help.