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advice

18/F
As a child my parents made me go to the church and as I grew older I grew to dislike the church, I don't believe in the religion and I decided to resign my membership from the LDS church, well a while back I sent in a resignation letter, It stated that I was resigning my name and all records and no longer wanted to be a member of the church, I also stated that they were not to contact my family members or other members of the church in this matter, I told them to no longer contact me either, saying this letter was my official resignation.
Well I received a letter today, it stated they were contacting my stake president, and my bishop, who would then contact me. I told them I didn't want anymore contact which they disregarded, in the letter they stated that I would suffer eternal consequences and said they would circulate the letter to the church leaders. They want me to go in and negotiate with my bishop, who I already spoke to on the matter. I am eighteen almost nineteen, I no longer live with my family and I feel like it is no one in the church's business or my family's business. I worry the bishop will contact my parents because my church is notorious for being blabber mouths, I want to know what actions I should take before I get to deep into this. If I were to take legal action if they keep contacting me or they contact my family how should I go about it. I want to do this as professionally and as quickly as possible and I don't want my family to know. I feel like they're making me jump through hoops. What should I do??

As to the questions of your legal options you need to speak to a lawyer on this. It appears the Church is most definitely breaching your confidentiality. I do not know enough about the Mormon Church and its inner working to say to what degree it has breached your confidentiality.

For instance if you sent your resignation letter to the head of the church in Utah? It may be necessary in order to process you resignation that your state and local church officials be notified of your resignation.

What was written in the letter they sent to you including that you would be contacted by your state president and Bishop I think is a given and pretty much a boiler plated response. Fact is if you are contact by them you have no obligation to respond to them.

As for circulating the letter to church leaders that could be where the confidentiality breech begins, I really don't know. I see no reason for circulation of your letter though the church could have valid reasons that are in the operational guide lines of the church.

Even though the Constitution guarantees the separation of church and state. Taking a church to court over something like this could be fraught with problems. You really need to speak with a lawyer and get a legal opinion

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Okay so im 15 and i went over to my boyfriend's house (of about 5 months) and we started making out and his parents werent home and so he took my shirt off which is normal, and then he took my bra off, also normal (for us) and then he unzipped his pants and i sucked his dick and then he fingered me then he took his shirt off and things got realy heated and long story short we ended up having sex and im not sure how i feel about. I mean he seemed to enjoy it, but it hurt me. He's a good guy and we are still together (2 weeks later) i haven't seen him yet, but we've been texting and he wants to "see me" meaning sleep with me again this weekend and i think i want to, i just don't know if i should. Did i make a mistake??

P.S. he is 16 and was also a virgin before this

Did you make a mistake in having sex with your boyfriend? If I look at this question as the adult I am. Then the answer has to be yes as you and your boyfriend are to young and to immature to be having sex. Keep reading it gets better.

I am also a realist and very liberal when it comes to a question such as yours. What is done is done and cannot be undone. Whether to have sex with him again is really up to you. Again as an adult I have to advise not do.

Should you decide you want to have sex with him you should not do so again until you have taken the proper precautions.

By a Federal Law none as HIPPA (you can look it up on the web) you are at 15 old enough to see a doctor without parental permission for anything related to your reproductive system. This includes asking for birth control options. The doctor by law has to dispense whatever is right for you and cannot inform your parents that you are seeing him/her or being treated by the doctor without your written consent. When it comes to your reproductive health you have total medical confidentiality.

Congress passed this law by a wide bipartisan margin specifically to protect young people, such as yourself, to allow them to get medical help for whatever may be bothering them concerning their reproductive health. This could range from simple questions to being checked for STDS. You can visit your family doctor or any of the Women's free clinics. This law also covers boys.

Birth control pills used correctly are about 99% effective in preventing pregnancy. A woman on birth control with a partner using a condom comes as close to 100% effective against preventing pregnancy as you can get, though there is still a small chance of becoming pregnant.

This is the biggest problem we adults worry about when it comes to teenage sex. Pregnancy and STD/AIDS are the two biggest fears we have for our children when it comes to teenage and premarital sex.

As for your first experience hurting. I should tell sex will always hurt, but it doesn't. The pain will diminish and go away as your vagina gets use to being penetrated and expanding to accommodate a penis.

To conclude: Did you make a mistake? As an adult I have to say yes you are to young to be having sex and I recommend not doing so again until your older. The fact of the matter is you have to decide the answer to this question, not me not your parents.

If you decide to continue having sex do not do so again until you have taken the proper precautions. Precautions you have the legal right to take.

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Okay, so ive always been this happy , never mean cheerful girl. Sometimes i would even keep stuff to myself & let people step over me.. All of a sudden ive been speaking my mind alot & all of a sudden the friends i usally hang out with are really annoying me. I dont even feel happy anymore. Ive been in a mad/sad kind of weird mood. I've been judgeing people alot. I dont like that. Its like i turned into a whole diffrent person out of the blue. I have so much bottled up in me. I dont feel like i can talk about this to anyone. I dont even feel like i have friends honestly. Sometimes i just feel like crying but i dont because i keep telling myself that theres no reason to cry. What should i do not to feel this way? ): btw im 16

As you may be aware none of us are doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses.The advise we give is based on experience. As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather the advise I am offering is based on raising my on family.

There are two possibilities at work here. The first is the ever changing hormones of puberty and how they effect you as they enter your life. At times these hormones disrupt your life to the point that as you describe you don't know who you are. This is where the second possibility comes in. When I was your age our parents called it a phase we were going through, something we would grow out of. Today doctors recognize it for what it is and put a name to it. They call it teenage depression.

Teenage depression is brought on by a number of factors the two most common are hormones and stress. Hormones are a given and stress? Lets face facts here, today's teenager has more stress placed on them then any teenager in the past. Today's teenager has the same stresses as their predecessors such as making their way into the adult world, getting good grades in school, new social circles and preparing for college. Then they have they added problems or stress of what is expected of today's teenager. Today's teenager is expected to be more self sufficient, more worldly, has more sexual pressure placed on them, both self imposed and externally imposed. That is just the short list.

Stress is the major factor in depression. Stress causes pain, real and emotional, which causes more depression. This is called the cycle of depression. You need to break the cycle by finding out what the stressors are. This takes the help of a professional therapist and possibly some medication.

To find out if you are suffering for depression you visit your family doctor and ask to tested or screened as it is called for depression. It is a simple test where you answer a number of questions. Based on your answers the doctor can decide if you fit the diagnoses for depression. If so the doctor will recommend what you need to do to overcome this.

Back in the day as we old folks now say most of us did out grow out of this phase. But why suffer as you are when help is available and actually quite simple and painless.

You are old enough by Federal Law to see a doctor without parental knowledge or permission for something of this nature. So if you do not wish to discuss this with your parents you do not have too.

If you do not want mom and dad to know at this time and you can get yourself to your doctor without mom or dads assistance; I suggest you do so. Once the doctor makes a diagnoses you can discus with the doctor how to proceed. The doctor can if you want help explain to your parents what is going on and what help you may need.

In your case I can assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You must decide if you want to go to the tunnel or wait for the tunnel to come to you.

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I have just been feeling depressed for a while now. I have no friends,just only the co-workers I work with. I really don't talk to my family like that anymore. I just go thru the same routine everyday. I feel like no one is there for me. I have struggle to keep myself together for the last past three years. I graduated High School about 3 years ago. I lost all my best friends. Arguements,lies happen after high school. So, No more friends. I don't want to go to school or work. No one ever texts or calls me unless it's family members wanting someone or asking something. I just don't know what to do. I never make plans because i'm always alone. I never been on a date. I'm have been single my whole life. I'm only 21 years old. I'm gay. I gotten sick with the shingles about 6 months ago. Because of stress and it was really bad. Cause of work,ex-friends,lonely,didn't feel like i belong,hiding about beening gay(which i am still). I need someone to talk to. I hate this feeling. I sit at home or ride around before i go home everyday or go to the park and just think and cry all the time. I dreamed about me dying in a car accident all the time and wondering what would my family do with out me. I just don't know who i am anymore. I need answers and help.It's not the world's business to know what i'm going thru and to know that i'm gay. Not,my families either because i will get disown.:/ My family is so christian. Now, It hurts. Having to lie to them about everything and can't be my own self. Advice please?

I think you need to see a doctor. First a psychiatrist to be properly diagnosed as clinically depressed and put on proper medication. The primary cause of clinical depression is stress.

Your not crazy the need to see a psychiatrist rather than your family doctor is that the chemicals that control depression are in the brain and the psychiatrist is the best medical doctor trained to help you. Make sure to choose a board certified psychiatrist.

After speaking with the psychiatrist you will be referred to a psychologist for talk therapy. This is where the real work is done. One of the first things you need to talk about is your being gay. One thing that jumped out at me is you wrote; "hiding about being gay(which i am still). Being gay is not something you chose, it is the way you are born. You need to decide if you are gay or just think you are for whatever reasons that make you feel this way.

Once you have come to terms with being gay you can then find ways of making friends within the gay community. It is not all that hard to do. There are many websites dedicated to the gay community that are designed for people such as yourself to find others like yourself. These websites are run by groups and organizations that will also help you come to terms with who you are and the problems that you face being gay.

You are not the first person from a devote Christian family to be gay. These groups can help you with coming out to your family. This will help with some of the stress you are having. We parents are funny. We say one thing but when the rubber meets the road as they say we do the unexpected. Meaning I don't think your parents will disown you, especially your mom. It may come as a shock to them and you may have to give them a chance to adjust to the revelation. But most parents eventually gather behind their child and support them as much as they can.

My advice is to see the doctors I recommend. Then search out the groups in your community I spoke off. Between the psychologist and these groups you will be able to find out just who you are and what you want form life. When this happens you will be able to make friends and be much happier. It will take some effort on your part. Though nothing worth while comes easy.

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So I want to go to a university and then work in PR. I want money but you have to have the grades. Im in 2 honors classes this year for 9th grade and I try... I do. I work my butt off every first semester and do the same in the second but my friends and I are always distant first semester.They make me feel like I miss out on a lot which is the truth, but at the same time I'm fine with it. But I feel so pressured to get it all under control and I have zero time at home to relax but when I do I have no time to study or work, or even primp in a mirror!!! What do I do? Can someone please give me advice on how to juggle it all. Sisters and family dillemas arguing with them,studying and working at home fast, and school life? ADVICE PLEAAAAAASE.

I can't help much with the family dramas at home without knowing more about them. The other problems you write about are typical of every teenager. They are time management problems. Time Management is something most all of us have be it with school or work. The sooner we learn how to deal with it the better we are at dealing with it.

In a nutshell what time management is setting aside blocks of time for everything you need and want to do. An example would be daily things such as school work, chores around the house and build in some free time. Then lets say a teacher assigns a project due in three weeks. You have your time management calendar with your blocks of time laid out for the every day and if you were able to you built in some time for extra study or projects like this. If not you have to decide how much time this project is going to take then look at your time management calendar and borrow time for different places to cover the project.

It is actually easier then it sounds. I'm retired now though when I was working and I first started to have to really micro manage my time I had to do it with pencil and paper. Today you can go to places like Best Buy and buy a time management program for your computer. Also go to the library or a good bookstore. There are many good books you can read that will help you use the program you buy. Most of them are very thin and to the point.

The result is you have to manage time rather than have time mange you. Your calendar has to be flexible as well so don't go with writers that advocate rigid calendars. The world is not a rigid place. Things change and you need to be able to change as they do.

Just a side note: It is actually good that you have had this problem come up now. For learning to manage time now will work well for you in college and later in life.

Once I realized that I had to manage my time and not the other way around. My job performance improved and I was sought after by my competitors to come to work for them. I can't explain how satisfying this was. All it took was getting better organized which is what time management really is.

Good luck and write me back if I can be of any more help. Oh, stop arguing with your sisters it is a waste of time. lol.

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Hi,
I'm 20/f. I'm 5'1 and 220 lbs.
Wednesday of last week, I went to the doctor and got prescribed Phentomine(sp) its a pill to help you lose weight and curve hunger.

I've been on them before about 2 years ago and I had 0 side effects.

Well, today when I got home from work, I was sitting on the couch, relaxing, I wasn't moving or anything
and all of a sudden my heart started pounding really hard and fast. I have NEVER in my life experienced anything like this, nor do I have the right words to even describe it. It lasted about 10-12 seconds? While it was happening, I was scared. I have had a few encounters with heart 'flutters' and this was NOTHING like that. It was intense. Like, the best way I can describe it, is like I just got done running 5 miles. The part that confuses me, is I wasn't doing anything to make my heartbeat raise.


I told my parents and they don't seem to concerned. My father told me not to waste my money and go to the doctor, but after looking on google, I'm really afraid. I have been stressed for a couple of weeks now, and I do smoke cigs.


I know you guys aren't doctors so you cannot make a medical diagnose, but have any of you ever had this happen to you? Or even someone else? Do you have any idea what you think it could be?


Thanks!


According to the manufacture the following are the side effects of this medication:

Phentermine side effects

Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction to phentermine: hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat. Call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:

feeling short of breath, even with mild exertion;


chest pain, feeling like you might pass out;


swelling in your ankles or feet;


pounding heartbeats or fluttering in your chest;


confusion or irritability, unusual thoughts or behavior;


feelings of extreme happiness or sadness; or


dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).

What you felt meets their description of, "pounding heartbeats or fluttering in your chest.

They recommend calling your doctor or getting emergency medical help immediately". As a fire department first responder I agree. This could be a serious side effect that at the very least needs to be consulted with your doctor by phone. So either call call your doctor and ask what you should do or 911 and ask for a fire department emergency response to your home for a paramedic to check on you.

You should do this today. If you cannot reach your doctor and do not wish to incur the expense of a fire department transport to a hospital I suggest you go to one of the walk-in clinics. Your insurance company will cover the cost of both the clinic or the ambulance transfer. Its your choice but call someone now before it happens again.

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So I'm in seventh grade. I found out recently that a lot of kids in my grade aren't virgins.. And I'm jusrt sickened by this. It's been in my mind all day and I can't get it off my mind. How do I make this leave my mind? I'm just not wanting to go to that school anymore, but my friends are there...

As you go through life there are going to be many things that you will find unacceptable behavior. To be shocked over it to the point that you want to leave that place for another is harmful to you. For example: You have finished college and maybe had one or two jobs when you find and take that one job that is the one you worked all through school to find, your dream job. Just because you find the behavior of a couple of coworkers unacceptable would you want to leave your dream job. The only one who would be hurt here is you, not any of them.

The same is true in what you have written. Then there is the fact that much of what your friends are saying is false bravado. They want to be seen as more grown up, worldly or more mature. Many are not the non-virgins they claim they are. Unfortunately some are and that is a shame as you know.

You have your values and you should stick to them as they are good values. This is one instance where you do not have to do as your friends say they have done. Some even say they have done something just to goad someone else into doing something they are to scared to do themselves. This is one of those things.

My advice is to ignore them. You are coming into a more adult world and you will continue to see things as you go from middle school into high school, college and the work place that by your values and standards are sickening. It is just unfortunate that this is how the world is. Learn to ignore what you don't agree with, stick to your values. As my mother would tell me; "just because your friends jump off the bridge does not mean you have to as well." This is good advice which you may use if you like.

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12/F well I have a 18 year old boyfriend and he wanted to have sex and I'm to scared that if I say no he won't love me anyway now he's always expecting me to have sex with him and when I don't want to he asks me if I don't love him anymore and he has naked pictures of me and I don't know how he got them what must I do(my mom doesn't know about our relationship)

There are so many things wrong her I don't even know where to begin.

First of all there is no way an 18 year old man, yes he is a man, should be dating a 12 year old girl. There is a 6 year age difference between you which makes it illegal for him to be even dating you let alone having sex with you. He is a pervert and a sexual predator. If he could get sex from someone his own age he would not be dating 12 year old girls.

There are only three lines in your letter to us but you say it yourself in your letter. If you do not give him sex he asks if you don't love him. Sex is not love or proof of love. It is the culmination of a person’s love for another. I know you don't understand this, if you did you would not be dating a man 6 years older than you and having sex with him. This is very, very wrong. He belongs in jail.

He is a criminal in the eyes of the law. In the eyes of the law he is committing statutory rape. Not by virtue of having sex with you but just by being with you. Having sex with you is a second charge of being a sexual predator. The fact that he has naked pictures of you is a third charge of being in possession of child pornography. You are a child you are naked that is child porn. If he shares these photos with anyone he is distributing child porn that is a forth charge. Then there is contributing to the delinquency of a minor. These charges add up to several lifetimes in jail which is where he belongs.

No have you done anything wrong. No not really. Sexual predators look for girls like you to take advantage of. You must have been thrilled that someone his age was interested in you a 12 year old girl. This is what men like him count on. He may have bought you nice gifts or said all the things you wanted to hear. Whatever it took to get you to trust him and let him have sex with you. Trust me he is not in love with you. He lusts for your young body. As you grow older you and your body will mature in to what a young woman should be and look like. He will lose all interest in you when that happens. This will happen very soon within a year or less.

I am old enough to be your grandfather so if you remember nothing else of what I’ve written here remember this. You are a victim. You are the victim of a child molester and you need to tell your parents. Will they be upset? Yes, but I doubt they will be upset at you for as I said you are the victim her and I would hope they see this. They need to call the police and file a complaint. There is no upside her for him. I don’t know you though I know what a 12 year old girl looks like. There can be no way he can mistake you for being 18. Your parents will know this.
Do not see this man again, do not call him. Tell your parents today what has happened and have them call the police.

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I'm not if my question has to do with virginity that much.
But any way... so I am turning 18 in a month and female... I'd like advice bc I dnt know what to do
I like these kids I meet a a party (speaking in general) and I drink. Start getting drunk and I wanna hook up with that person but I can't cause I'm too nervous and I tell my friends and they say its okay Ull be show to do watever in the heat of the moment but I cant. I'm also nervous because no one told me that I had to shave down there and I have sensitive skin so when I try its just bad..but would a guy still like me if he found out?
Do guys like "old fashioned" girls anymore like the ones who just wanna kiss and take it slow ? And progress as the relationship goes on? But I'm self conscious about my self.
I know this may be a lot but I feel like a confused teen and I hate being single and not doin anything with people at parties and I hate when my friends talk about stuff that I dnt understand bc I've never done it or I'm not that intelligent

I like the answer russianspy1234 gave you, it really hit the mark.

I like unshaven girls. To me a girl who shaves looks well; like a child. When I have sex I want to have sex with a women and that means having hair down there. I understand you will want to trim it during the summer to wear a sexy bathing suit but summer in most of the country is only 3 months long.

As to being scared. Your only just turning 18. Everyone is on their on pace as to what they do and when. If you have to get drunk to have your first sexual experience you are not ready. Being scared, so sacred that you need to get drunk, then this is a warning bell going off telling you not to do this. Sex or anything else you have to get drunk to do is what we older folk call getting "Dutch Courage, getting drunk."

Sex is to precious and pleasuring to be drunk when performing, especially the first time. You want to remember the first time and it should be special. While this is more so for the girl it is also for a guy. There is only one time you do anything for the first time and you don't want to be so drunk as not to remember it.

For a women, which you will be as soon as you turn 18, you will be of legal age and have every right to a sex life. You do not have to worry about what your parents think or may say if and when they find out.

There are guys out there that think as you do. That they are not out there to put another notch on their bedpost. That sex is special, something to be mutually enjoyed. When you find this guy he will be honored that you waited for him to give your virginity to.

This will be the guy who will see to it that when you two do have sex you will be comfortable both in having sex with him and in the place and surrounding where you have your first sexual experience. You will feel safe and secure that you will not be intruded upon. That the two of you can take your time and make it memorable for both of you. This is what sex is all about and more so for the first time for either person.

You have waited this long it is worth waiting to find this guy. I assure you he is out there. It will matter not to him if you are shaved or not. For you see he will be making love, making love to you not just having sex with someones body. There is a difference. Wait for the guy that will make love to you it will be worth the wait of this I can assure you and you won't need any "Dutch Courage" to go to bed with him.

What you can do for now in preparation for meeting this guy; is see your GYN and get a prescription for birth control that is proper for you. That way when the time comes you won't have that to worry about.

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I'm 16 female and I'm mid cycle and I had a white discharge and there's blood also could this be cancer? I don't really want to go to the doctor

Edited response: I'm sorry you were abused by a Doctor I hope you reported the abuse. IF not you still can. Sexual abuse of a minor has no statued of limitation in most states. Please report the doctor to the police and seek professional help from a therapist to put this behind you or it will effect you badly for the rest of your life. You are old enough now that you do not need parental permission or assistance to speak to the police about this. I wish you would have said so in your writing to us and I would have addressed this in my answer.

You still need to see a doctor. Find a new doctor, part of the HIPPA Law allows for you to find your own doctors. Find a female GYN and insist that the nurse stay with you at all times during your visit. Explain to the doctor why you need this to be and I am sure your new doctor will understand.

Unfortunately you are not the first person to be abused by their doctor. You can make sure, if your parents have not already done so that this doctor does not abuse any other young girls by calling the police and report the doctor. They will understand why you may have waited so long if this happened anytime in the distant past.

You can also call this hotline number 1-800-656-HOPE. It will connect you with an organization called RAINN. It stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. The volunteers who answer the phone will talk with you and help you find a therapist to work with and help you make a report to the police by working with RAINN volunteers in your town. Please call them they can help you.

I am so terribly sorry this has happened to you. Don't let this fester another day. If the doctor is still practicing you need to report him/her. I believe you are strong enough to do so. If you need help with making the report as RAINN to help you. But whatever you decide please see a therapist and get help dealing with this so you can move on. Not all doctors are abusers.

Also please see a doctor for what is presently causing you a problem. Chose a new doctor or go to a Hospital ER but get treatment. As I said to ignore this is dangerous for you.

HI,

None of us are doctors, so we cannot make any diagnoses. It would be wrong of us to even try as no two people are alike. What effects one person one way may not effect you the same way.

The fact is whatever this may be it is not normal. It will not get better by itself and needs to be seen and treated by a doctor. Being afraid to go to the doctor to find out what this may be is silly. I can't say if it is cancer or not. What I can say is there is just as big a chance that it is not cancer. Left untreated it could turn into something that will have an adverse affect on whether you can have children later in life.

By a Federal Law you have been old enough since you were 14 to make and see a doctor concerning your reproductive system without parental consent.

The law known as HIPPA affords you total medical privacy. Meaning mom cannot be in the exam room with you and neither of your parents can know anything about what the doctors is examining you for or treating you for without a written release of information to the doctor allowing your parents access to these medical records. No one and that includes your parents can have access to these medical records without your consent.

Releasing them without your consent subjects the doctor and staff to 5 years in jail and a $5,000 fine.

So if one of your fears in seeing the doctor is that mom will find out you are sexually active stop your worries, she can't be told. The doctor will see that your Hymen is broken and ask if you are sexually active. Since there are many reasons other than sexual activity for a Hyman to break the doctor needs to ask this question. IF you are answer truthfully as this is important in your diagnoses & treatment.

Being able to answer the doctors questions without fear of parental knowledge is the purpose behind the clause in the HIPPA law covering young people and there reproductive system. No court can issue an order to release these records. You have total confidentiality.

All you need to say to the doctor is, "I am 16 and I invoke my rights under HIPPA to medical Confidentiality." The doctor will take it from there. If mom is with you she will be asked to go wait in the waiting room. I'm sure she will not want to make a scene in front of the doctor. Once you are home you can inform her of the law. There is nothing she or your dad can force you to do about it.

So with this knowledge you have no reason to fear seeing the doctor and mom finding out anything you don't want to know. In the unlikely event this is cancer mom needs to know. I'm sure the doctor would discuss this with you and ask permission to tell your parents.

If I was a gambling man I would wager heavily this is not cancer. So go see the doctor.

By the way I am old enough to be your Grandfather and I tell you this for I believe you need to know the information contained in the HIPPA Law.

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14/f
Does anyone know a Pimp in New York thats looking for hoes. I want be a prostitute, but I cant find a pimp. Please dont judge me. Thanx

Do you have a death wish.

First: It is prostitution with one exception is illegal everywhere in this country including New York City.

Second: The younger the prostitute the shorter her life span. If you want to see your 18th birthday I would suggest you stick with the normal ways a 14 year old earns money. Prostitution is illegal and dangerous. It is nowhere near as glamorious as Hollywood makes it out to be.

Third: What you can look foward to is being robbed, raped and beaten as well as being strung out on drugs. You can also look forward to being infected with every STD and probably AIDS.

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Hi, Im Blake, im 12 years old and i just moved from London to America. When I first got to school my teacher Mr.Rein always smile at me and wink at me.Like a when we read our books, there he is staring at me winking and I wink back. He always cares about me a lot. One time I was really sad and started crying but then Mr.Rein took me out to the hallway, then he made me sit on his lap and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I gave him a big hug then he said everything is all right and ill be here for you.I really like him and he really likes me. Every day when we leave he givs me a hug. I want to know if this is ok because i have feelings for him. Please reply
-Blake

First of all forget about the Gay thing. You're too young to know about your own sexuality to know if your gay. To think your teacher is gay for what he is doing could be a misinterpretation of his actions. A showing of affection or comfort to someone does not mean that person is gay.

Now as to your teachers action in showing comfort or affection to you. It could be that he feels you need some extra comfort or attention as you are new to this country and feeling lost and lonely. IF this is the case then his intentions are honorable but a little misguided as they could get him in trouble if misinterpreted.

It is okay for a teacher to comfort you given the circumstances. If his comforting makes you uncomfortable then it is not okay; then you must tell your parents.

Many years ago it was quite alright for a teacher to hug his or her students especially at dismissal time. Today unfortunately a hug can be misinterpreted. I would suggest you talk with your parents to let them know what this teacher is doing and let them decide if it is okay. Just remember you are doing nothing wrong. It is okay to like a teacher and even have a crush on a teacher. It can be okay for a teacher to comfort you if there is reason too.

By telling your parents what is happening in school each day. It is not that they are being nosy it allows them to know that you are safe and that the school is doing what they are being paid for. So at dinner time you should tell them everything that goes on at school including what happens between you and this teacher. This way they can decide if it is appropriate or not and meet with him if they feel the need to.

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If I went to the doctor October 2nd and found out I was 8weeks and 4 days then around what time did i get preganent?

The answer is 60 days, which on the doctors gestation calendars equals 2 months, prior to either October 2ND or the date of the lab test.

Being that accurate is uncommon. Generally they say you are so many weeks pregnant going back to the date of your last period and counting the days forward to the pregnancy test and the number of times from your last period that you can remember having unprotected sex.

It is most likely you are 7 to 9 weeks pregnant or 49 to 63 days pregnant. About 2 months.

Hopefully congratulations are in order.

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Thank You In Advance For Reading My Story, Giving Me Advice, etc. I apologize if it sounds like I'm whining but I really want to know why I am the way I am and how to better myself.

Hi , I'm a 16 yr old girl. I never kissed a guy, been on a date , hung out alone with a guy or been in a relationship. I don't go to parties, sneak out or hang out late. I don't feel like I do normal teenager things and even my mom complains that I'm being antisocial. I have been to three different high schools and in my current high school, unlike the previous two, I have almost no friends. I hide during lunch because sitting at a lunch table alone as a Senior is just too unbearable. I talk to no one in class unless I am forced to. (I do clubs and activities outside of school and I get along with the other teens there great so why not at school?) I can't figure out what has gone wrong with my life. Guys try to talk to me on the street and I ignore them, even if I think they are cute. If guys try to make eye contact, I look the other way. If I see guys approaching me , I try to take a detour , going into a store until they pass or crossing the street. Guys who I've like at one point and even gotten the courage to talk to, I always chicken out of plans or tell them I am too busy for a relationship. This one guy who liked me tried to kiss me repeatedly and even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, I would always back away and make excuses. My friend wanted to hang out but I've only hung out with her in group settings so I lied and told her I was busy. I mean what if we hung out and guys approached us, and I couldnt handle the situation? I see my younger cousins running around with really good looking guys, asking me for relationship advice and I would always have to lie. What do I know? I can't pin point my fears . I want to be social, and hang out with people. I want to have a relationship. I want to kiss and get my heart broken and call someone baby. But I just can't . I'm afraid. I panic sometimes.I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. At this rate it's possible. What do I do?

Thanks again, my fears are ruining my life. Ps I have no money for a therapist.

I'm not a psychologist but I once was the new kid in school and you have been the new kid three times. It is my thinking that most of your trouble stems from constantly being the new kid on the block and in school.

It has been a very long time since I was in High School but I don't think much has changed. New kids are generally teased and ostracized by the others. They have all been together probably since grammar school and have long standing relationships. You have been to three schools in four years putting you in the position of constantly having to form new relationships.

You probably do not realize this but having to do so has most likely caused you to put a fence up around yourself to keep from being hurt. The fact that at clubs and activities outside of school you can form some type of relationship proves this to me. Why do I say this.

We get letters from kids going off to college wanting to know how to form new relationships. One of the things I always recommend is to join clubs or look for activities that interest them. When there is a common interest there is the opportunity to form relationships. Good relationships are formed when you have something in common. High school only provides school work as a common interest. Generally speaking this is not a basis for forming a relationship. This is why you have no problems out of school, the common interest factor.

As for boys it is my belief that as much as you want to have your heart broken, call someone baby and be social. The wall of protection you have built up around you at school is just to solid to break through. At least that is my take on things. Too many schools and not enough time to form friendships have caused you to form a defensive parameter.

As much as I would like to help you. This form of communication does not lend itself to it and I just do not have the education needed to do so. You need the help of a good therapist, someone you can confide in who will keep your secrets and help you breakdown the barriers you built.

My recommendations is that you seek the help of a trained therapist. Your family doctor should be able to help you find one. My feeling is that there is nothing truly wrong with you. Your a normal teenager suffering the troubles of to many school changes. Talk therapy with a trained therapist will help you overcome this.

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Title says it all. I dont wanna know comments like ''Too Young''. Please answer. I need to know.

Sex at your age is not love it is Lust. So yea she is probably someone you had a crush on.

Do yourself a favor: You know your to young to be having sex at your age. Before you screw up and get some girl a pregnant. Stick with other forms of sex besides intercourse. You have a whole life time ahead of you to enjoy sex. Why take a chance of spending the first 13 years of your adult life possible supporting a child you may never get to meet and having to pay your parents back for the first 5 years of child support that they will have to pay for you until your reach 18 and take over the child support payments.

That is the game plan if you get a girl pregnant. You or until you are 18, your parents are responsible for the welfare of that child until it is 18. That means child support payments for food, clothing, medical bills, housing, school everything your parents supply for you. This is the real world reality of the responsibilities of having sex.

Yea, tell me you use a condom. Good for you. Hope you paid attention in math for condoms are less than 85% effective in preventing pregnancy and then only if you use them correctly. Do the math and see what your chances are in getting a girl pregnant by using condoms for birth control.

You pull pout before you cum. They don't have a true number for that method for it is almost 0% effective against preventing pregnancy as their is sperm in your precum. If you don't know what that is you should not be having sex.

Sex is like anything else we do, it has a learning curve. You don't go from the passenger seat to the drivers seat without taking drivers education. It is the same with sex. Learn about the responsibilities first.

Sorry about the lecture but your wise ass remark about being to young set me off. You are to young and you know it. Listen to yourself.

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I am a forty something female and still struggle. I was molested when I was a child by both sexes. I only realized the women molested me this year with a recent memory flash. However, I knew a few of lesbians sex positions when I was young, but did not understand how I knew this. Most of my childhood was a blank and have been coming back through flashes of memory. I had a boyfriend when I was much younger but men tend to be too aggressive. A few times in my life I've had thoughts about being with a woman, but have never been attracted to women. Recently I just cannot seem to shake these thoughts. I have always wanted to marry a man but these thoughts are taking over my mind. Plus my religion is against this.
I forgot to add that I had a girlfriend when I was 9 or 10, wanting to do what I learned from the women. Since I am having these thoughts of being with a woman now, does this mean that I am a lesbian or bisexual? Or am I just confused because of the abuse?

I don't believe you will get any better answers today then you received yesterday.

Yesterday I suggested you contact RAINN. The people at RAINN are better trained then any of us to help you.

Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE. I urge you to call them now. The memory flashes will continue and you will not be able to obtain the life you want without the proper help. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by calling them. The call is free and so is their help.

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Ok so I'm 13 and I have a boyfriend and I had to have sex with random guys in front of him,my boyfriend took videos and stuff and now I must do it everyweek with atleast 5 guys I think I'm pregnant though(no period,nasias,tired ect...)And I'm scared that I am because my mom and dad will kill me and propbably disown me! Please help!

You have been very foolish to allow this to happen to you. I could go all psychological on you and give you reasons as to why you have allowed this to happen, I won't. If you are pregnant what is done is done.

Kids that are 13 years old should not be having sex for this reason; you are to immature to be aware of the consequences of what you are doing. In your case you are allowing a boy to sexually abuse you. I have reason to believe this boy and the others that have been using and abusing you are much older than you. They are in fact criminals by the fact that they are abusing you sexually.

Your parents are not going to kill you. If you are pregnant this is going to be a wake up call to them and should be to you that there is a problem in the relationship between you and them. This is the psychology of the why you have allowed this to happen. You were looking for something from the boys you are not getting at home.

Fact is you are to young to do anything about your pregnancy and you will not be able to hide it for ever. Eventually your parents will learn of it. It is better that they learn now so that they can deal with it properly rather than later when it could cause you and the baby harm.

If you are that afraid of your parents then seek help at school. Talk with a trusted teacher, your school principal or your guidance counselor. They can help you find ways to notify your parents in an atmosphere where they will have to remain civil. This will give them time to accept what has happened and listen to the others who will offer suggestions how to deal with your being pregnant.

The unfortunate part of this other than you being pregnant is that you are to young to have any legal say in what is done. Whatever your parents decide is best is what you will need to do.

As for the boys. As I said they are CRIMINALS. THEY SEXUALLY ABUSED YOU. THEY DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED. By this I mean their abuse needs to be reported to the police. By law you are to young to consent to any form of sex, thats number one. Your boyfriend forcing you have sex with others boys in front of him is sexual abuse even if you consented.

From what you have written it does not sound like you consented, "I had to have sex with random guys in front of him,my boyfriend took videos and stuff and now I must do it every week with at least 5 guys." This is sexual abuse by him and rape by the boys who used you.

After you have talked with someone to help you tell your parents. Have them also suggest family counseling for you and your parents. There is a reason you allowed this to happen to you. I don't have the education to know exactly why and I would have to know you better to get to the reason. A good therapist will get to the reason and help you and your parents fix what is wrong in your relationship with them.

You do not need to have sex with boys to feel loved, which is the why I come up with. Sex is for adults that feel love for one another not to feel love.

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thanks for your advices. it was really helpful and encouraging. you are right this is a decision i will have to live with for the rest of my life and i shouldn't make any mistakes. i am a first year student and i am studying literature and history as core courses and then i am going to change the faculty and enroll in another university on my second year so i haven't lost anything right? and it is not late for me to do that?

No you have not lost anything. Anytime you seek to learn you grow. You never lose by growing and by gaining knowledge.

Good luck and stick to your guns, it is you life you live it.

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From august 2010-2011 and 2011-2012 I lived in an apartment complex that I had many complaints about, the only reason my roommates and I stayed a second year was because of how conventionally located it was to campus.

Within the past two years we were charged for our smoke alarms being "tampered with" and charged even though we denied and explained we had just moved in and nothing was done, they didn't take the fee off.

All our appliances would break and take forever for them to fix it.

The apartment locks were always broken and any key could open any person's apartment if you just jiggled it the right way.

Over all it was a terrible place and we wanted to sue for all the stuff we had to deal with but none of us could find the right 'legal' reasons to do so....

During the 2 years we went through 4 sets of different managers because everyone kept getting fired but before that promising things that wouldn't get fixed.

Point is... it was just in the news that the city has finally discovered what this apartment complex really is :a piece of you know what.

And has found over 100 violations against them in terms of health and safety violations.

I am wondering if NOW, finally that there has been light shone on the situation, now that the evidence is finally out there and the many violations...is there anyway I can sue? or get reimbursed?

I mean,there probably isn't, but I'm just curious because we lived there and brought up to the current manager our concerns about safety (someone through a works bomb on our porch and management did absolutely nothing)...

Is there anything I can file to get some re-reimbursement? It was a A LOT of money to pay for such terrible conditions.

If there is nothing I can do -- please just say so, I'm not asking for a rude reply or somoene saying I'm dumb.

Check with your local District Court to see if they have a Renter Court. This Court is a Court of Common Pleas court or Small Claims Court, though specifically set up to hear cases concerning renters and landlords.

Some of these Courts have lawyers or third year law students available to advice renters on their rights and how to go about filing an action in this court. This court in many jurisdictions is a lot like Judge Judy's court. No lawyers just you and the landlord.

Common Pleas means there is no real statued law and the Judge decides the law based on the claim and any rights you may have had based on any contract you may have had; verbal or otherwise. Rules of evidence are relaxed and up to the Judge to decided what is and is not acceptable as evidence.

Do you have a case? Probably, can you bring it to court will depend on if there is a statued of limitations for doing so and the evidence you have to submit.

First find out if you have a renters court. If not you can always bring a claim in Small Claims Court. Generally this Court handles claims for amounts up to five or ten thousand dollars. This is also a court of Common Pleas.

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I am a forty something female and still struggle. I was molested when I was a child by both sexes. I only realized the women molested me this year with a recent memory flash. However, I knew a few of lesbians sex positions when I was young, but did not understand how I knew this. Most of my childhood was a blank and have been coming back through flashes of memory. I had a boyfriend when I was much younger but men tend to be too aggressive. A few times in my life I've had thoughts about being with a woman, but have never been attracted to women. Recently I just cannot seem to shake these thoughts. I have always wanted to marry a man but these thoughts are taking over my mind. Plus my religion is against this.

Being molested as a child is a horrible, horrible thing to have gone through. To be frank while we can offer words of encouragement the only way I know how to deal with this is with professional help.

There is an organization called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They are far better qualified then any of us are to help you get the right type of help and support. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by professionally trained volunteers who can direct you to the proper professionals in your town who can help you. That number is 1-800-656-HOPE. I urge you to call them now. The memory flashes will continue and you will not be able to obtain the life you want without the proper help.

With the proper help you may be able to remember who your molesters were, if you do not already know. Most if not all states have no statued of limitations on child molestation. As seen by the recent Penn State revelations. Part of making things right may include getting closure. Closure may be punishing those that molested you. The proper way to do that is to inform the proper authorities and let them investigate. If they molested you they most likely molested others. Once an investigation has started others will come out and support your claims. This is where and how you get proper closure.

I'm sorry for all you have gone through. No child deserves to be abused let alone in this manner. I urge you to get professional help so that you can properly deal with this and hopefully put it behind you in such a manner that you can have a normal life from this day forward.

I and other on this site are always here to lend our support if you need us.

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