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advice

ok so my friend is 12 (im 13 we're like 3 months apart) and today she was going on about how this boy, lets call him O and her D, wants to have sex with her. you know what? here's the REAL conversation.
D:omg O wants to have sex with me!!
me: but eww you guys r too young and noones gonna sell condoms to you guys!
D: O has pulls, duh.
me: no D its a really bad idea youll be known as a slut.
D: WHO CARES ive liked him for 5 yrs.
me: so? you arent even dating him!!!!
D:what ever you dont get it.
me: yeah i do.
D: at least ive had a one night stand.

i havent replied to her yet but i dont want her to screw up :( i want to email it to her parents soo bad but i dont know what to do. and i really want to reply, THATS NOT A GOOD THING. i think you are screwing up your life and i swear ,D if you do have sex i think ill just breakdown because i just cant deal with the fact that one of my friendds has had sex 1. because your gonna screw up your reputaion and your gonna get in trouble for sure.
2.i cant let you.

First: You are right to look out for your friend this way. Instead of you going to her parents I might suggest that you have a talk with your mom and let your mom have a talk with her mom. That does two things. It lets your mom approach her mother which is better and it keeps you out of the middle which also allows you to tell your friend you didn't tell her mom anything.

Next at this age much of this about sex is more talk then action. One or both of them will back out. The talk is more to boast that they did something you haven't to try and get you to do something you don't want to do.

Then their is the possibility that even if they try they will not be able to have sex for physical reasons. They are really to young and their bodies are not ready yet. Her vagina may not yet accept his penis. He may not be able to keep an erection long enough to penetrate a vagina. This all depends on where they each are in puberty.

Now it is possible that they can and they will have sex. It will be painful for her and if she is lucky she won't get pregnant. They are both under the age of consent so the law doesn't play a big part in this. Depending on the state the worst that can happen is they are charged as juveniles with some form of juvenile mischief.

My best advice is to talk to your mom and let your mom talk to her mom. Yes this is about sex but not about you so you should not be embarrassed to talk to you mom. You are doing a good thing in trying to save your friend from making a big mistake.

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My girlfriend wants to have sex and I don't know how to have sex with another girl. I need like serious advice!!!

I question whether you are really a lesbian or not. If you have never had sex with another girl or with a boy how do you know just what your sexuality is.

Young people, I am assuming that you are with in that age group of 12 to 18, are generally confused about their sexuality. It is not unusual to think they want sex with someone of their own sex or in love with someone of their own sex. Many young people, this means boys and girls, experiment sexually with in their own sex feeling more comfortable doing so. Also parents are more comfortable with children of the same sex being alone together behind closed doors then children of opposite sexes.

For this reason I advise against putting a label on sexuality until you have gone through the experimentation stage. Does this mean you must have sex with both boys and girls to know for sure. Only you can answer that question for certain.

One thing I can say for certain is in college I knew women who today are wives and mothers that were almost totally lesbians in college. Why? Well lesbian sex was more readily available and it was safer. Once out of college and on their own they need not worry as much about accidental pregnancy as they were ready for being a wife and mother.

Do yourself a favor don't label your sexuality just yet. As to your question? Everyone has a first time for everything. If this is the first time for both of you then you just experiment and do what feels good. If she has done it before let her lead and teach you.

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My boyfriend is trying to do abusive sex to me, And it's painful. He's always whipping me when im working at home. I can't stand it. But he's a tough man so i don't want him hurting me if i dump him. He tried to kill my dad once. Help me!!

Call the police.

Sorry for the original answer being so short, I was working with my Ipad and it is hard to type on.

If everything you have written is true, and I'm not saying it isn't then really the only thing, the right thing to do is to call the police and file charges.

If by whipping you do you mean spanking you or do you mean actually using a belt to whip you? Either way this is an assault on you even if it is in the form of sex play if you are not consenting to it. If you are under the age of consent in your state it is not only assault it is rape, statutory rape as you are legally not able to consent to sex by law.

By filing charges with the police and having him arrested he can't hurt you. You also file for a restraining order which is a court order that tells him to stay away from you or he goes to jail even if he is out on bail.

So pick up the phone dial 911 and ask for the police to come to your home. He can't send them away. They need to speak to you and see you to make sure you're safe before they can leave. If he has been hurting you and you are marked up by his beatings they will arrest him. If he has forced you to have sex with him this is the time to charge him with rape.

Their is also an organization that you should call once he is in custody. They are called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abused, Incest, National Network. The volunteers who answer their hotline, which is available 24/7 will help you find people in your home town to help you get through this and get your life back in order. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE


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The person i love is going to university while i'm going to get a job its the last day and i don't want him to go so i need advice on how to tell him i love him before its to late and he doesn't know. Thanks,

The best way is straight out.

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I'm a lesbian and 15 and I'm hanging out with my friend tomorrow. Should I come out to her and tell her because I have the urge to tell my friends and my parents already know and they're ok with me but I've never told any of my friends yet and I have this huge urge to. My parentes are just nervous for me to tell People blecaute of how homophobic People are. Should i come out?

I am going to advice against telling your friends for two reasons.

First: There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian but you are still in High School. High School students, even so called friends, can easily turn on you in a very vicious way. Why expose yourself to this when you don't have to. If asked why you are not dating you can always say you are concentrating on school. It is a valid reason that many young girls and boys have for not dating.

Second: I deplore putting labels on anyone for any reason at your age. Yes you are 15 and well on your way to figuring out who you are. This would include your sexuality. But you have not matured enough to the point that anything is finalized. You just may be a lesbian or you may find that you are bi.

Right now lesbian sex is safer therefore more satisfying since there is no fear of pregnancy. Other girls know more of how to satisfy another girl than boys do. Sex with a boy at this age is very one sided. The boy for the most part is all hands. Interested in satisfying himself and generally has no control. He has no sense of foreplay and the whole act is over with in less time than it took you to read this. So lesbian sex can and generally is more satisfying.

It may be that some time in the future you may find sex with a boy just as satisfying. When I was in college I knew girls that were mostly lesbians or had mostly lesbian sex. Why? It was safer and more readily available. Today those women are wives and mothers and for the most part would not think of having sex with another women.

For this reason I don't like putting labels on anyone. Once you label yourself it is very hard and awkward to change that label. Also I don't want you being hurt by the kids in school who will feel that you are strange. This is unfortunate but this is what many are taught at home and in church, which I personally believe is wrong. I can't change them but I can advice you on how to protect yourself and for now my advice is to stay in the closet about your sexuality.

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back muscles sore and stiff and stiff all over this make my arms feel weak the muscle in my lags want spasm that herts age 71 male

Nallie is right, you should see a doctor. There are many factors that can be causing this from a poor mattress to just simple age. I'm 65 and have some of the same symptoms. Mine are the result of an auto accident that left me disabled with chronic back pain and back spasms.

Lifestyle has a lot to do with it as well. If your a couch potato at our age we will suffer these kinds of pain. Muscles need to be taken for a walk every day to stay loose. The more exercise the better you will feel. But first a trip to your doctor to makes sure there is not an organic problem. Then ask the doctor for a simple exercise program you can follow.

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I was at a party on the beach and screaming alot i know its not good but i was, And when i came home my voice went all squeaky and sometimes when i talk i either talk squeaky or not at all. I try drinking bu it doesn't help my throat hurts and it's dry when i have drunk about 1 bottle of milk. Please answer A.S.A.P

Wow a teenager who can't speak what will they think of next. Sorry couldn't avoid that one. But in my own way I'm telling you I don't think this is something serious.

All they yelling ans screaming you did probably stained your vocal cords. It happens from time to time when people go to sporting events or concerts.

Rest your voice. Try not to speak or even to whisper as this puts even a greater strain on your vocal cords. Carry a pad an pen with you for the next 24 hours. Yes your throat will feel dry and scratchy.

If your voice does not start to return in the next 24 to 48 hours then I suggest you check in at one of the walk-in clinic a hospital emergency room or have someone call your family doctor and ask what to do.

You may find soothing liquids such as warm tea with honey or plain soups to be comforting to your throat. It is also possible that shaved ice such as snow cones may make you feel more comfortable. Try both and stick which whatever works best for you.

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I am asian. And as everyone know, all asian people have a flat nose. Well, beside korean people. I'm vietnamese. Vietnamese people are smaller and flatter nose. I've been taking care of my nose. I pulled my nose outward and up everyday but it does not help. I know i should be very happy how God created me. And i am very thankful for how i look. But, i just wanna know if milk does anything for you nose bone. Anyone know? I just want my nose to have a little lift. Thank you. Oh, also, does excercising alot help grow a couple inches when at age 23? Im dying to know.

Fact of the matter is once your growth plates, which are in your bones, close your actual growing is over. You can to a small extent stretch you spine or remove some small curvature of your spine with certain exercises which will make it appear that you have grown. In actuality no actual new bone growth has occurred.

To change the size and shape of your nose requires plastic surgery. I agree with Braiden that Asians have beautiful noses and unless something is very wrong with your nose I would not recommend surgery.

You are what god made you. While plastic surgery is relatively safe, all surgeries have an inherent risk to them. Why put yourself at risk and under go the pain of this procedure for something I believe as does Braiden, you don't need.

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13/f so I'm about 5/6 maybe 5/6 and half so I'm tall for age. My my mom is 5/8 and a half but my dad is about 5/5 maybe 5/4 so what I want to know is: will I get any taller cause my sister is 7 yrs old and is almost up to my chest and I'm worried that she'll surpass me! (silly, I know but it always bothers me when my parents say my sister's gonna be taller than me! :( )

Flare is right, we all develop at different rates. The chances of your sister being taller than you are 50/50.

You still have a growth spurt left in you. Until the growth plates in your bones close you will continue to grow. At what rate is really up to the DNA in you. The only way to tell if the growth plates have closed is with an x ray, which is not a reason to expose yourself to the radiation of an x ray.

Yes your sister is tall for her age though the chances are that the two of you will end up being about the same height. Remember you both carry the same genes from your parents so it is unlikely one of you will be that much taller than the other. Unless in your family history there is someone that is much taller than present generations I would say you should stop worrying.

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im 9 years old and im a girl i have a boyfriend and i dont know if i should tell my parents if you think i should how?

You are a little young to be having any type of exclusive boyfriend. Mom will think its cute, she will probably call it "puppy love" when you tell her and you should.

As to how to tell mom? I would suggest you say, "Mom there is a boy I would like you to meet, his name is________." I think mom can take it from there.

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[By the way, sorry this is so long. I'd greatly appreciate if you could give your advice, though]

My family moved to America in 2000, when I was 6, and even though I'm now 18, I still occasionally find myself missing living in England. My parents are Cameroonian, and when I was 5 I lived in Cameroon for 1 year, but I don't find myself missing Cameroon as much, even though I had a very good time there, too. I guess it might be because my parents are Cameroonian, as well as my extended family, so that part of me never left.

I still have a diary from when I was six, and I started feeling homesick (over London and Coventry) 2 weeks after we started living in New Jersey (USA). I used to get really homesick when I was younger, especially when I heard british music, and I recall trying to distance myself from the whole "American stereotype", but ultimately, as years went on, America had more and more of an influence on me. Now that I think about it, I found myself also distancing myself from African-American stereotypes, that are often negative, because I didn't see myself that way, even though most people would just see me and assume I'm just like any other black American, who has black American ancestry, and etc, because of my skin tone. I also lost my accent down the line, and my parents also did (only my dad still sometimes sounds British, because he lived there the longest, for about 20 years), which makes people always surprised and doubtful when I say I have both British and American nationality (became a dual citizen). I have no idea what I sound like to other people, though.. I don't think I really sound like anything distinct

Anyways, so, at one point, starting from when I was 15, I started really trying to connect with British things again, since I hadn't visited there since I was 8 (2002), and it's like, I wanted to still keep that part of me alive. So I'd watch a bunch of British shows, listen to a lot of British music, and emulate British fashion. At the time, it was just subconscious, though, and it's only now that I'm really realizing I was doing that. It's just that I felt like an outsider here in America so I was trying to cling to a time when I was really happy in England. I don't know whether it's because I was a little kid or because at that time my family was traveling more frequently, but I truly haven't been as happy as I was then, and that really pains me. When I look back to then, it's like that part of my life was in a different world. I feel like things became bad a few years after moving to America, but idk if it's just because I was getting older and that was inevitable.

But yeah, after living in multiple places (my family then moved from New Jersey to Texas 2 years ago and it's even worse here than in NJ!), I love to travel, but my heart still belongs in England. When I think about where I want to live in the future, all paths ultimately lead to the goal of once more living and working in London. That motivates me to work hard here in America, so I can get hired there and live the life I want to live. I don't know if it's pathetic or what. I know there's no perfect place, but it's just perfect to me. It has a lot of things I want out of a city! My parents moved to England, and then America, for a "better life", and we're upper middle class so I feel guilty over complaining about some things, but this is just how I feel.

I feel like I just want to go somewhere and truly be able to call the place home and everything. And again, with all the news about the Olympics, I just feel really crushed inside, and plan on not watching tv for the whole event, to avoid being reminded of living there. I tell my parents how I feel, and how I want to visit old friends in England, but they don't fully understand how I feel, since England is not their original country. They feel more sentimentally about Cameroon, though, but since we have Cameroonian culture, it's different.

And sometimes I even feel it's ironic for me to feel this passionate about London, and England in general, when it was one of the countries that colonized Africa in the past, and the majority of British people are white. I don't know if that's important, and due to living in various places, I'm very nonjudgmental and accepting of everyone, but I feel sort of insecure about that, too, and how others would judge me. I mean, it would be a lie if I were to only see myself as Cameroonian when I only lived there for one year. But it's the same with America and the UK. I'm a combination of things. I don't know, it's just weird. It's so awkward when someone asks me where I'm from, because I don't even know how to answer. Do they want to know where my ancestry is from, or where I was born, or where I mostly lived, or currently live? That question is weird cause most people apparently only live in one area their whole life, so they can say they're a New Yorker through and through, for example. But when someone asks, how do I know if they really care to know the story of how I moved around, or just want a short and sweet, casual answer (even though I don't feel like one place truly describes me)? Ugh. I'M JUST A CITIZEN OF EARTH.

Sorry that this was so long and all over the place, I just needed to get this off my chest. Especially in a place like Texas, where people are shocked that some black people even live in England, I just feel like a loner a lot of the time. I try to connect with other third culture kids, who are usually Indian, but I don't feel like I'm as accepted as I felt in NJ, because in Texas people seem to sort of segregate themselves by ethnicity more. In NJ I had friends of many ethnicities, but here, I don't know where I fit, and why I even have to "fit" anywhere to make proper friends. any advice? i'm about to go to college next year in tx, and after high school didn't go the way I wanted, I want it to be a lot better, but I don't know what to do different. I often find it a lot easier to find other people like me online. It's funny that I often have a lot more in common with someone in a country I've never visited, than one of my next door neighbors. this is probably really pathetic, but this is just how lonely I feel right now. I wish I knew more people off the computer with similar experiences

I like Flare's answer. She said a lot of what I was going to say. There is also and old saying that you can never go home again.

When I was in the military we all dreamed about going home. I like the others looked forward to going home to the place I grew up in. When I finally did get to go home I found I wasn't really home. Things had changed. The people had changed or maybe I had changed. Sure much of the things I longed to see where still there they just didn't fit right anymore.

We have dreams and in our dreams things are perfect and never change. Problem is that things do change and we change as well. Our values change and what we need and want to survive change.I'm sure Coventry is and was a lovely place to live and play. I'm also sure when you go back their it will not be as you remember it.

What you need to do is to take an extended vacation to London and Coventry, on your own as you are now and adult. I'm about 80% sure you will find the the places you dream of returning too and the places you desire will not live up to your minds desire. You've changed, they have changed and in your mind they are perfect.

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Im 14/f Who is gay but lately I really kinda don't feel turned on by girls even when I fantasize about them. Ive never been kissed by a girl but have by a boy but didn't feel a spark, Also with boys I'm not attracted at all. Is this something lesbians go threw. Also I don't know if it's because Ive loved my BFF for two years and we just ended our friendship. Could I be asexual? or I've never kissed a girl and don't have much experience.

Any one who is you age or even a bit older is still trying to figure out just who they are. This would include who they are sexually. While it is possible you are gay I would not be so fast to pin a label on yourself at least not for a few more years.

Both boys and girls at your age do experiment with sex with people of the same sex. Why? Well for one thing it is easier and it is safer. Parents are far less concerned when two girls are alone in a room then when a boy and a girl are alone in a room.

Sleepovers are a a great place to experiment with same sex, sex. Parents go to bed feeling secure that nothing will happen. For the most part they are right, nothing much does happen. No one can get pregnant and their really isn't anything wrong with mutual masturbation if that takes place, even if things go a little further it is a learning experience day remember doing.

So to my mind you are no a lesbian. Just a typical 14 year old girl trying to find out who she is sexually. While you ultimately may be a lesbian don't label yourself as one just yet.

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Hi, I'm an 18 year-old female, fresh out of high school, and I've never dated anyone. Ever. Never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never been on a date even. I've been asked to a couple dances, but that's about the extent of it. And that's sort of on purpose. See, I never wanted to date anyone, firstly because most of the guys at the schools I have gone to have been complete jerks, but mostly because I'm very serious about relationships. Most middle school relationships last about a month max. Plus at the time I wanted to focus on having fun with school and friends, and sports. High school relationships have a bit more potential than middle school ones of course, but they're so drama-filled, time consuming, and just plain stressful. Plus, there's a slim chance they'll actually succeed after high school. So, I made the decision not to date anyone until college, and that was probably one of the smartest decisions I've ever made. I could just focus on growing up, focus on MY issues, and I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted with my friends (with my parents' permission, of course, haha).

Now that I'll be in college, I'm allowing myself to date. But... I'm EXTREMELY inexperienced. So I know basically nothing about relationships. The main problem is, I'm a Christian, so I really want to save myself, my virginity, until marriage. It's just... something that I've had a long time to ponder and pray about, and it just feels like something God wants me to do. And it's something I want too, for me and my future husband. But nowadays, ESPECIALLY nowadays, that's not an easy task. We're bombarded with sex on TV, in movies and media, it's just everywhere! Even a lot of my own friends are no longer virgins. And the majority of sex is featured with non-married couples. I know it's okay to go without sex in high school, (although it's becoming increasingly uncommon), but is it the same with adult relationships? I mean, premarital sex has just become a common thing.

Basically, I just want to know if I'll be able to go out into the relationship world and not be a laughing stock who'll end up dying alone (after all, that is a huge fear of mine). >>; I mean, sex seems to be this regular activity for couples, and I don't want to be laughed at by a boyfriend when he goes to take off my pants and I tell him no. I'm prepared for that, but I want to know if it's possible nowadays to even have a successful relationship without sex. Is it possible? Do couples HAVE to have sex? Thank you for your time. :]

Short answer to your question: No; Couples do not have to have sex before marriage.

You sound very secure in what you want from life and how your plans for life are to be. Sex is important to a good marriage and it appears you are not apposed to sex. Just that sex is with your husband and not someone that may love you and leave you. That is an excellent outlook and their is nothing wrong with this outlook. Anyone that demeans you for it is just jealous because they gave theirs away to early.

One suggestion I have for dating. Christian fellowship and Christian dating sites are places were you will find men with the same religious principals you have. Having the same religious principles as a foundation takes the pressure off the premarital sex problem and supplies a great foundation to get to know one another.

To many marriages fail because the are based on sex and not on knowledge of basic values or basic wants and desires of their partners. To really get to know someone you have to get beneath the outer beauty or outer attraction which generally is a sexual attraction.

NO, there is nothing wrong with your plan. You will find the right man for yourself who will honor and cherish you. One who will truly appreciate the gift you give him on your wedding night.

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Hi,

I was wondering if you could give me any advice on how to develop a thick skin and how to not take negative comments personally.

To be honest this happens at college mostly, but I'm very sensitive,so how would you suggest I ignore jelous comments?

If you're wondering what made me ask you this question it was because I notice recently you told someone that there was a problem with my advice, when in fact I excell in the subject area I chose to answer. This obviously upset me and I didn't appriciate it. So how in future could I stop taking comments like this to heart?

I know the question you are asking about. There were several problems with you answer that I saw. First by way of how you answered you were giving adviice you are not qualified to give You said you were 17. To me that meant you are taking physc.. 101 or high school physc. That does not make you are qualified to give the advice you gave though you offered it as qualified advise. Even if we were doctors we don't offer diagnoses or treatments as we can not examine someone properly. This is why I wrote what I did.

Now as to your question. You can tell me or anyone else we are wrong and to go to hell. Your entitled to you opinion and I to mine. You and I are both entitled to correct a wrong when we see it as I did. Being a sufferer of depression I saw something you may have missed. What you told her was great for normal run of the mill depression. But I saw several key factors that pointed to more than normal depression.

Of course my wife works in the mental health field. Because of this I'm surrounded by these questions and she is a great resource for me in answering these questions

If you want a thicker skin you build one by first learning from and admitting to mistakes when made. Then keep telling yourself, I am better thanI was yesterday and I will be even better tomorrow. The people who have a problem with me just don't know me and have not taken the time to learn what I have learned. If they can't accept me for who I am the I don't need them.

NOTE: depression is a very scary place when giving advice to someone who thinks they may be depressed always suggest they see a doctor to be screened. Always add the disclaimer that you are not a doctor.

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My Dad is dealing with clinical depression and we happen to live in a government funded low income neighbourhood. We just happen to live around drug-dealing, low-class and uncivil people.

Anyways, the kids in this neighbourhood are extremely rude and disrespectful. They have added numerous dents and scratches onto my Dad's car and are extremely rude to him.

For example, whenever they see my Dad walking outside, they will all stop and stare at him. Another time, my Dad told me they were standing near our backyard and staring at them and he asked them what their problem was and one of the kids was like "Who do you think you're dealing with? What the hell is wrong with you fucking Paki's, don't mess with us black people."

I've had neighbouring kids run to our front yard and rip out all our roses. I spoke to their mother about it, and she yelled at them a little but she didn't really care as she went around to other neighbour's and starting talking about my Dad (I know because one of my neighbours told my Dad that this woman approached him talking about my Dad negatively).

Anyways, how should I deal with this situation? The parents are about as ignorant and disrespectful as the kids. My Dad approached one mother and told her about her kids playing in the parking lot and hitting my Dad's car and she just gave him attitude and asked him "What are you going to do about it?"

We have a superintendent in our area but he is friends with all of them and he doesn't like my Dad either. So he won't be much help.

Braden's advice is good advice which I suggest you follow.

All I can add is these children and their parents forget what it was like for them when they were and in many cases still are the recipients of bigotry they are showing to you and your dad.

This country has a long history of bigotry In your case this bigotry is fueled by what is happening in the world today. They look at you and see a Muslim. You may not be though that is what they see. Many Americans look at Muslims or people from primarily Muslim countries like yours and see terrorists. It's not right, bigotry never is and as we can see; is the underlining cause of the problems we face.

Being of an ethnic background subject to bigotry all I can advise is to grow a thick skin and ignore these illiterate people. To move to another low income housing may be jumping from the frying pan to the fire.

The best thing to do is ignore them and walk away until you can find away to more to a better neighborhood.

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we are both in our 40's. we are both married to other people but have this strong attraction to each other. Am I playing with fire? All we did so far was hug each other but express feelings towards one another. Please advise.

What makes this wrong and puts this in the classification of "Playing with fire" is the words' "STRONG ATTRACTION."

Because of the fact you are attracted to one another hugging is a physical act that transmits this attraction. If you were just friends happy to see each other or you were congratulating someone for a job well done; then the hug is just a hug, not the warm embrace of your attraction or signal of desire for more. That is were the playing with fire comes in. Your hug could be sending a signal you want more than hugs. If received as such you might even allow an escalation to more physical forms of showing of attraction.

My advice stop hugging.

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is it normal to like my half sister and cousin and what should i do my cousins 14 my sister is 20 something im 11 and a tomboyish girl

When you say say "like," do you mean as in not hate them. Of course it is normal to like them. Why shouldn't you like them? Have they given you any reason not to like them? Just because they are related to you in some case through a parents second marriage is no a reason not to like them or to ignore your cousins by your parents' first marriage either. You are in a manner of speaking related to them all by marriage of a parent. Like any relationship; unless and until someone hurts you then their is no real reason not to like them.

Now if you mean in a sexual way that is different. At 11 you are still trying to figure out your sexuality so it is not unreasonable to like someone of the same sex in a sexual manner. Acting upon it is something different.

By law your sister and first cousins are off limits as it is unlawful to have sexual relations with immediate relatives. While the law speaks to boy girl sex it could be interpreted to lesbian and gay sex as well.

Is it normal to have these feeling the answer is yes. It would also be normal to act on them with anyone other than a family member, especially while trying to figure out who you are sexually.

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hello everyone. i'm 17 years old and i just dont seem to be happy anymore, i can't feel anything around me, i dont feel like talking to anyone and i cant even remember my old life. i feel sick and worthless, i always ask myself, whats the point of life? whats love? whats me?!! my thoughts scare me sometimes. i broke up with my bestfriend and he's a guy though. but i just cant feel it. sometimes i say maybe he's the reason of my depression.. but i dont really know.. im very tired of this, i forget how it feels to be trurly happy, sometimes i ask myself maybe the problem is with me? i cant even trust my parents, i always feel like they are hiding something and they lie to me. i cant feel anything and its killing me. whats wrong with me? how can i deal with this? is this normal?

The problem with kitten lover 2000 advice is she hasn't studied enough psychology to realize that you may be truly depressed.

Having suffered from depression myself, and winning the battle against it. I see some of the things I felt in your writing. The type of depression I suffer from is more of a physical ailment as it is the lack of one or two chemicals secreted in the brain that helps with mood swings and stress. This is supplemented with a pill for the chemical replacement, which is a hormone and talk therapy. The talk therapy is needed to find the triggers for the stress that brings on the depression so that you learn to recognize them and properly deal with them. For me it is chronic pain as a result of an auto accident I played no part in causing.

My suggestion is you see your family doctor for a complete check up. Just to make sure there is no physical reason for your depression. Ask your doctor to screen you for depression. The screening consists of a number of question that will be asked of you. Based on your answer a diagnoses can be made as to whether you suffer from depression and to what degree. Your doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist.

Don't get up set if you are referred to one. Your not crazy. Because the chemicals deal with the brain a psychiatrist is the best doctor to help you. They are medical doctors who Board Certified to practice psychiatry so they are also able to prescribe medication if warranted. You will then be referred to a psychologist for talk therapy to get at the root cause of your depression.

Frankly I would not be surprised if you were diagnosed with depression or what is now referred to as teenage depression. Being 17 is a very stressful time for a teenager. Your High School years are ending and your College years are on the horizon or beginning. You did not say just where you are school wise but you are somewhere in that area. You are either looking at your Senior year in High school or possibly your freshman year in College.

If this is the problem, and it just may be, relax we have all been there and made it through. If you need a little help by way of a magic pill; it's no big deal. We are all different and we all need a little help from time to time. So see your doctor and see if you are truly depressed. Then go from there.

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Hi, 19/f
I know you guys aren't doctors or anything- I just wanna know if anyone has went through this before and what not.

Anyways, I'm sexually active. I'm not pregnant-know that for a fact.

Last year- I went to the ER for stomach cramps. It wasn't like 'period' cramps it felt like someone was twisting my insides up and squeezing them- the doctors took a pregnancy test-negative- and gave me some pain relievers- said they had NO idea what was wrong. Took a cat scan- and nothing. The doctor told me that what I was feeling was 50x worse than a woman have contractions & giving labor with no medication.

Well, that lasted about a week. Worst pain I've ever been in. I took some Prevacid and suddenly it went away. (So I'm guessing, it might have been acid reflux, & gas)


Well, for the past 4 months everytime I go to bed, I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I never do- Sunday night, while I was laying down, I started having similar stomach cramps as a year ago.

I woke up every hour to poop (it was diarrhea);; went to work && the pain got worse from there.

All day yesterday, I diarrhea'd every 30 minutes-1 hour and had constant stomach cramps.

I took a pregnancy test- and it came back negative.

Now today, my stomach is still uneasy- I'm still diarrhea maybe every hour and a half- two hours. My butthole itches & burns while I'm pooping and after. So i'm thinking it might be raw? Or is there something wrong in that area too??


Any idea whats going on? I took another prevacid- and nothing; and I took something for gas- and nothing.


My normal bowel movements are usually 2 a day.

So?

This is the type of question that we should not try to tell you what to do or try to do. There are just too many things that could be wrong and any advice we may give could make things worse.


What I can say is the ER is the wrong place to go for care. An ER is a treat them and street them assembly line medicine. They treat what they can see. If they can't find a cause they will treat the symptoms. If that is not enough they will admit you so that staff doctors can take the time to do the testing and investigating needed to find a cause. Hence the term "Emergency Medicine."


You need to see a gastroenterologist or possibly and Internist who will run the proper tests to get to the cause of your problem. The symptoms you write about bring to my mind several different problems such as colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, then there is a stomach virus similar to an ulcer the name of which I can't remember and acid reflex. All require different testing and different treatments.

Make an appointment with a gastroenterologist and she what he or she has to say. If you don't know one ask your primary care doctor or gynecologist to recommend one.

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about a year ago, i started getting this white liquid stuff in my panties and later found out that its a vaginal discharge and that it come before and after a period. but mine comes EVERYDAY ! so my question is , does this affect sex in any way ?

While what is happening to you is or could be perfectly normal; everyone is different. since you did not give your age I am going to guess you are in your early teens which would put you in your early stages of puberty.


If I am correct in my guessing of your age than what is happening may be the result of your body adjusting, or attempting to adjust to new hormones now seeping into from your different glands. It is very possible your doctor can help with this problem by prescribing a simple medication to help your body adjust.

This is something you should discuss with your mother. Don't worry she probably already knows something is happening if she does your laundry. What is happening is not sexual in anyway; it is hormonal, something that all women and men such as your father understand. All women of child bearing age become hormonal when they start getting their period. It is part of the facts of life.

In short; there is nothing you have written about to be so embarrassed about that you can't talk to your mother about. So talk to mom or dad if need be and arrange to see a gynecologist to see if he or she can help you with this problem.

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