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The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.

advice

I have been in a relationship for four and a half years now with a wonderful, handsome, loving, huge hearted man who I love more than anything and plan to marry. My dad doesn't take the relationship seriously and my aunt told me about some negative things my mom told her about him. My dad tells people that he used to worry about me and my sister getting married too young, but we'd have to find somebody to marry first, so he won't have to worry for a while. It makes me feel bad because not only is he saying he doesn't have faith in my relationship, but he's making other people think the same way. I plan to get married before my sister who is 20 months older than me, but my dad tells people that at one wedding, when the father had to give the bride away, he almost started crying thinking about when he'd have to give my sister away, expecting that she'll get married first. That says to me that not only does he have little faith in my relationship, but that he won't be ready for me to get married when I do. I'm worried that when I tell my parents I'm engaged, they'll be unhappy and talk negatively to people, or that they'll do or say something that hurts my feelings.

First, congratulations on your engagement.

Now facts of life time. I will assume you are 18 or older which makes you legally an adult responsible for yourself. You parents can advise you or you can seek your parents advice should you care too. What parents can no longer do for their children is make decisions for them.

That is what you tell your parents should they respond negatively to your announcement. If dad says he will not walk you down the isle or will make trouble at your wedding. Ask someone else to walk you down the isle. Your brother or a good friend of yours and your future husband or you can come down the isle alone.

A Lot of what you say your dad is saying strikes me as a little false bravado on the part of your dad. Dads are funny when it comes to their daughters. A son is a son until he becomes a man. But a daughter is always daddy's little girl even when she is all grown up and has a family of her own. That is just the way it is in our culture. It sounds to me like dad is scared of loosing his little girl more than a problem with your future husband.

In any case your wedding is your big day. If you and your future husband are paying for the event. Then it is up to you who to invite. While I am sure you would like to have your parents participate in your big day. If their being there is going to ruin the day for you or their actions can ruin the day for you; don't invite them. It is that simple.

You have made your choice and accepted your boyfriends offer of marriage. Be happy, don't let your parents possible negativism ruin this happy time. They could be happy for you and join in the happiness with you and help in planning your wedding. If they chose to sulk in self pity and negativism let them, but don't let them ruin this time for you.

You can't control your parents and you shouldn't even try. If your happy then that is all that counts.

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14/f
I've been going through a ton of stress for the past week (and will be for the next two weeks) due to the fact that my teachers thought it would be appropriate to assign major projects all due this week right before final exams. So, I've been stressing out lately, and last week I worked for about five hours a day to try to make a dent in all of these stupid projects I have. Anyway, I worked a ton last week, and then over the weekend I hung out with some friends (a normal thing for a teenager to do) and relaxed to try to de-stress myself. Well, whenever I relax my mom always gets mad at me and says I should be doing my homework. Then she goes on about how she never sees me work and all I do is lay around and listen to music. Whoa whoa whoa. Not the case AT ALL. I do my homework, then to relax (I'm very introverted) I listen to music. However, whenever I go upstairs to do my homework my mom assumes I'm goofing off, even though I tell her otherwise.

So I worked some this weekend, but not a ton because I wanted to relax. Today after school I was telling my mom how stressed out I was from all this work, but instead of being the reassuring motherly figure you always hear about in books and stuff, she yelled at me about how I never work and I need to stop complaining because I don't work. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! That's what drives me crazy!!! And when I tell her this, she gets mad at me for "fighting everything she says."

So today after school, to prove to my mom that I work a lot, I came home and did five and a half hours of homework straight. Guess what? She yelled at me for "managing my time horribly." Then tonight she said to me "if you want to go to a bad college, that's okay!" and then she called into my brother "congrats on your straight A's, love you!" Well I am very stressed out right now, so what she said actually hurt me. I don't know what to do or what to say to her. Her comments about my work ethic are bothering me, and I feel like she gets mad at me no matter what I do. She's making me feel really stupid and she's adding unnecessary stress to my already stressed out state of being.

Sounds like a typical mother/daughter relationship to me. I do not want to demean anything you said. Mom should be more supportive but life is not like it is seen on television or in movies.

If your brother is bringing home straight A's and your not there is part of the problem. She feels you can do better and that you are not trying hard enough. IF you are in advanced classes she should know it will be harder to get A's then if you were in main line classes.

If your teachers are satisfied that you are working to potential then you be satisfied regardless of what mom says. Yes, I know words hurt though they can also be explanatory. You could visit with your guidance counselor before school closes and tell him/her what is bothering you at home. If your teachers are satisfied you are working to potential he or she may be willing to send a progress letter home telling mom how well you doing and that your teachers are proud of the progress you've made this year.

As for time management. You will never convince mom that you manage your time properly so here is a tip for you to use next year. I used this in College and in the Military also in my job.

At the beginning of each week I put up a time calendar. Now you know from a certain time in the morning until the afternoon you are in school. After being in school all day you are entitled to some time to decompress have a snack and relax, say 45 minutes. Then if you have any chores to do put them in the time calendar marking off the time they take. Then mark off time for homework by hour for each subject. Some nights you may not have homework in a particular subject and that's fine, use that time to study. The bottom of the time block is a time for special projects, say an hour a night.

Use this time calendar, which you can use one of the calendars on you computer, Ipod, or Ipad for and initial each hour or time block when subjects homework is complete. Post this calendar over the space where you do your homework.

Do this for everyday of the week including your weekends and you will not only gain control over your time and show mom you have proper time management. You will be preparing yourself for College and the working world beyond were time management is a skill 75 % of people do not have.

As for the other things. It is unfortunate that parents play one child against the other. Some feel that competition breeds success. I disagree; all of us are unique in our capabilities. I for instance do not do well on written test. Test me orally and I pass with flying colors. I'm an oral type person. It is our uniqueness that makes us successful as a whole. If you cannot make mom understand how much she is hurting you then maybe there is an Aunt, Uncle or grandparent you can speak with that she will listen too who will talk to her for you.

From what you have written I see a typical 14 year old teenage female with all the typical 14 year old female things going on in her life. Hopefully you are a good student getting good grades performing to your potential. Being introverted makes it hard for you to stand up for yourself. But you must for no one else will stand up for you. Maybe you have time management problems, maybe you don't. It is not a big deal if you do for it would be typical of someone your age if you do. I have offered you a corrective measure should you need it.

Talk to mom or talk to some other family member but let mom know how badly she is hurting you. I;m sure she is not truly aware.

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I am a seventeen year old female and I a 25 year old boyfriend. When we first started dating he didnt ask me my age nor did i ask his. We feel deeply in love and then the age came into play. We've had sex alot and He haseven proposed to me a couple of times. I really really love him. Both our birthdays are in july so i'll be eighteen and he'll be 26. Please tell me what I should do. I don't want anything bad to happen to him because of me. Thanks...

Flare makes some good points. Technically your boyfriend is a pedophile. All of what Flare said and what I'm thinking depends on the laws of your state and at what age the age of consent is.

If you are above the age of consent then statutory rape is not a legal problem. Still the 6 year age difference is. By law it matters not how old you are today or tomorrow but how old you were when you started dating. If you two have been dating for over a year then Statutory rape is something he can be charged with, child molestation, pedophilia, leading to the delinquency of a minor and last but not least. IF you two ever crossed a state line together their is the federal charge of the Mann act to contend with.

I'm just wondering how long you two have been dating and how long you have known each others true ages. The six year difference in ages is not that big a deal. My in-laws had a five year difference in age with my mother in-law being 5 years older than my father in-law. The difference is they were more mature; being in their mid twenties when they met and married, than you are.

If I knew you better I would be much better able to advise you on this subject. Most 18 year olds, for this purpose you are 18, while legally an adult, have not yet gained the maturity or world experience to be having an adult relationship with someone so much older than themselves. This is what the next four years and college is all about. A chance to grow and mature away from home but still with a safety net of the school and your parents.

I'm concerned that had you boyfriend learned your true age when you were still 16 or early 17 why did he not break off the relationship. At 24 or 25 he should have the knowledge and maturity to know better. This leads me to believe he prefers younger women and the relationship you have with him will not be long lasting as you grow and mature and he loses control over you.

My advice is to end the relationship and find someone closer to your own age, at least for now.

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I was born with just one testicle,
Now that I'm 25 years old and I'm getting married next month, I was able to give her a blowjob yesterday.

1.Will I be able to make my wife pregnant because I was born with one testicle.

To best answer that question you need to get a sperm count. It is a simple test done at a lab. Generally you start by seeing your family doctor who will refer you to the proper lab for the test after giving you a complete physical.

When you arrive at the lab you will be given a sterilized cup and placed in a private room and asked to masturbate into the jar. You then leave the sample with the lab for them to count the live mature sperm and send the results to your doctor.

Your sperm count will be lower than a man with two testicles for certain. What the test will tell the doctor is whether you have enough sperm for natural impregnation or if artificial impregnation is the best chance of you and your wife having a baby together. In either case it is your sperm and your egg making your child.

Nothing says a low sperm count won't allow for natural impregnation. This test just tells you what the statistical odds are and then a fertility doctor can tell you the best way to make a baby.

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I am seventeen and a girl. I live with my mom, stepdad, and brother and sister. I have a boyfriend of ten months who is absolutely perfect. We decided last night to make a very big decision to have protected sex. Little did I know my stepdad installed cameras into the entire house. He did not tell my mom he found out but he has labeled me as a slut and that it's his decision to decide if I am ready to have sex or not. I am upset that all of this happened but I honestly don't care. Even if I did want to tell them, I wouldn't. My parents never praise me for being honest and I am too scared to talk to them about anything anyway. I'm thinking my stepdad used the camera tactic to scare me into telling him but the same time he said I should be honest because he has the tapes to back it up. I am going about my day very calmly because I know I was ready and responsible. I am not a slut or a hoe or anything because I was responsible and I will make my own decisions. I just find it so stupid how they disown me and ignore me. I bust my ass for them honestly. I watch my baby brother everyday on top of schoolwork and chores. I make good grades. I'm not a bad kid and I am entitled to my own decisions. If I screw up, it's my fault...but I was so responsible and careful... So what does it matter? What do you think about all this?

First, your step dad may have broken the law by secretly installing a camera in your room to monitor your activities. Since you are under 18, regardless of how mature you feel, in the eyes of the law you are still a minor. At the very least if any of the tapes he has, including the tapes of you having sex with your boyfriend, are of you in the nude. He is in possession of child pornography. This is a felony in every state and most countries.

As it being up to him as to when you are ready to have sex? That is kind of a legal technicality as it depends on the age of consent in your state. Most states the age of consent is 17 which would mean he has no say. As a step parent and living in his home; well that is another story altogether.

Now as to what you may or may not want to do. If your step-dad is holding these tapes over you in some way to have you conform to what he wants you to do. Then you have a decision to make. Does he use these cameras to spy on you and your sister and brother to violate your privacy and get pictures of you in the nude, If so he is a child pornographer. If he keeps these tapes he is in possession of child pornography and if he shows them or sends them to anyone he is a distributor of child pornography. These are all felonies.

You are entitled to and should expect a certain amount of privacy in your own bedroom. That privacy would extend to being able to change your clothes with the expectation that no one is watching you while doing so. Child monitors are appropriate for safety until a certain age. You are well above that age and are of the age of modesty. Your privacy has been violated for purposes that may be more illegal than just unlawful monitoring of your activities.

You say your mother is unknowing of these cameras. Then she may not be aware that he may be taping their intimate moments as well. If so he has violated her privacy as well and she is entitled to know about this as he could be distributing these tapes. You could, and have every right, to file charges against your step father on your own. That would blind side your mom and that would not be right.

My suggestion is that you at the very least tell mom you are going to file charges against her husband for secretly taping you and that cameras are installed all over the house. If her reaction is negative do so immediately. Dial 911 and ask that police immediately come to the house before your step dad can destroy evidence and remove the cameras.

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14/f
i have been cutting myself since my mom would not let me see my dad(alittle over 2 years).
i have not told anyone,but am considering telling my bf. we have been going out for 5 months and i knoow he will go beserck saying *why havent you told me before*.
i know he will say this cause he is very protective over me.

please help i dont know what to do, lately i have been useing a very dull and small knife,all it does is leave a red mark on me for about 4 hours.
and i want to use a sharp knife, i have willed myself to stay away from sharp knives so i dont get the temtation.

please? any advise is very thankful!!

Before you go on to a sharper knife. Lets do something about the cutting that is safer and I think will satisfy your need for cutting until you get the help you need.


Find the biggest, fattest rubber band you can. Let this rubber band hang loosely from your wrist. When you feel the need to cut; snap the rubber band against your wrist. The results should be the same, the release of the stress you are feeling. Plus you can do this anytime anywhere without having to go and hide. This is also much safer than using a knife and possibly cutting yourself in a vein or artery.

Now as for the reasons you cut. Mostly it is stress and depression. The stress is the biggest part of the problem probably over not being able to see your dad. Stress brings on depression. Depression brings on more stress. It is a vicious circle.

You can get help for what is bothering you by going to a trusted teacher and telling him or her or your school principal what you have told us. You can also go to your family doctor and tell the doctor what is happening or go to the local hospital ER. At 14 by federal law you do not need parental permission to see a doctor. You can also call 911 or go to the nearest fire station and ask for help. The stress and depression you are suffering is serious enough to cause you to cut then you need a doctors help to rid yourself of the stress so that the depression will ease. If you can't tell your mom then these are your other options.

If you weren't 14, going through the beginning of puberty with all the stress and changes puberty brings. I might tell you to suck it up and be a big girl and get on with your life. It may just be dad doesn't want to see you and mom is playing the bad guy. But you are 14 and you are going through puberty and you are carrying the extra burden of divorced parents.

This is way to much stress for anyone to carry let alone someone your age. So please take my advice and see a doctor. They have medications that can help you feel better while you talk with a therapist to get better.

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I have proof that my husband knowingly got infected with an STD from an affair and did not disclose disease to me and I unknowingly contracted it from him. Is there a law for the state of Iowa that states the he has a legal responsibility to disclose that to any sexual partners? I ask because now we are going through divorce and I need to know what legal grounds I have against him and if he broke the law.

The only laws I could find in my search for Iowa concerned HIV. IF someone knowingly has unprotected sex with someone knowing they (meaning he) is infected with HIV. This is a class B felony.

If you are in the process of divorce your divorce lawyer should know, you should have your own lawyer and not be using the same lawyer as your husband, the answer to this question. If not you could also inquire at the District or States Attorneys office to see if any State Law was broken by your husband and what charges you could bring against him. This would be one stop shopping so to speak for if he has broken a law you could file the charges while talking with them.

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Hi, I'm 19/f && my boyfriend is 19/m

We've been together for about 2 years now;

Before anyone judges, I'M NOT TRYING TO GET PREGNANT; I'M JUST CURIOUS FOR FUTURE REFERENCES.

Welp, when my boyfriend was born, his testicles didn't drop. One was stuck in his stomach or something and he basically had to have surgery; so he only has ONE testicle;

Can he have children? It may be a stupid question; but I've been thinking about my future alot, and I'd really like to have a family once I'm out of college and have a stable job.


Now, another question about me;
My Aunt- Mom's Sister- isn't able to get pregnant; not too sure why; I think it was some type of cancer; idk; but she WILL never be able to have kids;

I'm just wondering if that will affect me any? Im sure it would be easier to answwer if I could tell you what exactly was wrong with her in order not to have children;


But I just feel like with my boyfriends problem & than maybe hereditary issues; we may not be able to have the family I always dreamed of;

so any knowledge, would be great.

I'll answer your last question first. The only person who can properly answer your question is your gynecologist. You need to visit the doctor and inform him or her of your concerns and family history. You would need to ask mom or your Aunt what your Aunts Cancer was and what surgery was done to correct it.

Your doctor will examine you and run the proper test to make sure your reproductive system is healthy. You will probably need to be followed more closely then someone that does not have a family history of cancer in the reproductive system. If your Ovaries and Uterus are healthy now then with frequent testing and medical care you should remain healthy.

Now as for your boy friend. A simple sperm count will answer that question for you. If you see yourself eventually marrying him and not having children could be a deal breaker then it is something he should have know.

A sperm count is a simple test. He goes to a lab where he is given a sterilized cup and goes into a room to masturbate into the cup. The lab then puts what he ejaculated under a microscope and counts the fully matured live sperm. From this count a fertility doctor or his PCP can tell him what his chances are of impregnating a women through natural impregnation. If his sperm count is to low artificial impregnation may be necessary. If he is not making any sperm then you have decision to make.

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So i was in science class then my friends(all girls) and i started talking about our private area, and all began wondering of you shave or whatever down there.. So the question is: Do girls shave down there???

I know you asked for girls only but I'm a guy old enough to be your grandfather with some advice on these types of questions.

This is not a sex question. This is a question that has more to do with health and hygiene. Also management of your pubic hair for summer swimwear.

Questions such as this one and other questions concerning your reproductive systems health should be directed to your mom. She is the one best able to answer questions like this one and others you may have like this. Also questions as to whether something that may be happening is normal or needs to be seen by a gynecologist should be asked of mom. Remember mom is built just like you and has experienced everything you will.

An example of the type of questions to bring to mom would be problems or questions about your period. Your period is a normal bodily function just as breathing is. While it is related to your reproductive system it does not make any question, concern or problem you may experience a sexual question. Therefore their is no reason to be embarrassed to ask mom. Even missing a period does not mean your pregnant if you have not had sexual intercourse. There are many reasons a women, even one moms age, will miss their periods. Some require medical treatment and mom should be told so she can help you get proper treatment if needed.

Last but not least we are not doctors and cannot diagnose any medical conditions. Also just because you and someone here may experience similar pains does not mean you have similar ailments. If you are sick or are experiencing pain for unknown reasons the best advise is to ask mom or contact your doctor.

Take the advice of an old grand parent; parents are not the enemy. Their is nothing new out there that we have not already seen or heard of when we were growing up. As parents our job is to help you grow up without making the mistakes we made at your age. There are reasons we say no to certain things. If you ask calmly why most parents will explain. You may not like the answer but the reasons are usually valid from the standpoint of your health and safety.

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Hi. so long story short, about a month ago a guy who had always been chasing after me convinced me to sleep with him (I was drunk, and it was a terrible mistake as he had his way with me and deleted me from his life) anyway, I pointed out I didn't want to do anything as he didn't have a condom and offered instead I'd give him a blowjob since he threatened to never speak to me again. That escalated to sex but I made him stop fairly soon. The same thing happened again about a week later unfortunately.

Anyway, I got told I had Chlamydia after getting checked about 2 weeks ago and I took the treatment for that so that SHOULD be gone now.
My concern is HIV, as I know he sleeps around and presumably he never uses a condom :/

So the question is:
How easy is it to get HIV?
He never actually came inside my vagina and I only swallowed once.

I plan on getting checked when the 3 months have passed, but I'd like to know if its as easy to catch as chlamydia??

I can only add on thing to what has already been said. If there is any possibility the person you slept with has HIV you should get a blood test now and talk to a doctor about early treatment for this disease.

You can contact you local health department if you fear he is infected. They will investigate and see that he is tested. In the mean time you get tested and if the doctor feels it is proper to start you on antivirals they will.


The probability that he is infected is low and even lower that he infected you. HIV is treatable with early detection so I suggest you start with the base line blood test and a discussion with a doctor on whether antivirals are appropriate now. Antiviral treatment would depend on how confident you are that your partner is HIV positive.

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Hi! I'm in a situation where I'm not really sure what to do. It has to with my mom. So, let me start off giving you a little bit of background information on her. I am adopted. My parents adopted me the day that I was born, so these are my parents and this is a happy story, not a sad one. However, my parents are divorced. Because of this, my mom and I have been very close. As I was growing up, I told my mother everything. Apparently, this wasn't reciprocated, since she did not tell me that I was adopted. She kept that a secret from me until after the day that I graduated from high school. I am in no way condemning this. There really isn't a right time to tell someone. I am just giving you the background information. Because she had kept this a secret for such a long time, she became obsessive with everything. Back when people had myspace, she would hack into my account and look through my messages. She would sit next to me when I was talking on AIM and see everything I would do. As far as me and how I've acted growing up, I can tell you this. I have NEVER come home drunk. I have never tried one drug in my life. I get good grades and am graduating from college next semester. I don't have a track record of being "bad." So, I really never understood why she did all of these things. But, she told me later on that it was because she was afraid someone would tell me I was adopted and that I would find out in the wrong way.

That being said, she hasn't been going on my facebook and stuff like that and she doesn't know my passwords. But, she is manifesting the same behaviors in other ways. For one, she is obsessed with me being PERFECT, and by being perfect, I mean, looking perfect. She tells me that I have to wear hair extensions and has convinced me that without them, I am ugly. She is obsessed with me getting manicures and pedicures. Last week or so, I had a lot a lot of tests. I was so happy when I found out I had gotten an 97 on an exam that I thought I wasn't going to do so well in because I had so many exams going on at the same time. So, I tell her, "I'm so happy, Mom. I got a 97!" and her response was: "All you do is get A's and you never do your nails." I do understand the importance of looking groomed and nice, but I had 3 midterm exams and this is a summer semester, which means that it goes by very quickly and it is a lot of material to be tested on. So, I didn't have time to sit down and have a manicure.

Every semester, due to the several scholarships that I have, I get back a lot of money. This is the only money that I have for the entire semester, because, due to the fact that my department of study does not allow it's students to work. Last semester, I only got back $2,000, which is less than what I usually get ($3000). I am VERY fortunate to have this scholarship since my department does not allow it's students to work. Last semester, my Mom asked me to give her $1,900 and told me it was an emergency. The emergency was that she needed to pay backed up taxes and insurance money. I just wish she would have told me beforehand that she was going to use my money, because I was only left with $100 for the entire semester. And yes, this is MY money. I work for it because I need to maintain at least a 3.5 GPA to keep it. For the summer, I only got $500 back, because it's summer. They do not offer all the scholarships over the summer. Guess what? I got an invoice from my credit card saying that I owed over $200. I couldn't recall what I had bought. I never use my credit card. Only in rare emergencies. It is a student credit card and the limit is like $800. So, it's not like I'm going to make these huge purchases with it. Apparently, my mom had been using the credit card regularly this month to buy shoes.

I still live with my mom, and my grandparents. I strive to help to keep this house clean and as less messy as possible. Every time I have gotten a chance I have invested in intense organizing and cleaning. They have made A MESS of my room. Sometimes, my school books are missing. My closet has other people's clothes thrown in it. My desk is full of more clothes that my mom buys on a daily basis. She does not work, and therefore, she believes it is okay to spend the day shopping... with my credit card. I am getting VERY tired of seeing shoes thrown on the floor, of my books getting lost. I am tired of being told that extensions are the only way I look pretty. I am tired of having to stay in the library till late studying because I can't study at home. I feel at a loss of air looking around my room. I can't even find clothes for me to wear on a daily basis because of the mess in my room... that they created.

I am starting a new job. This is going to be very relevant to my career. The salary is great! My mom is already talking about how I need to purchase two gym memberships for me and for her, how now that I'll have a job, I can pay for all my credit card bills... which she used. Now... I understand that she's my mom, and that through my childhood, she paid a lot of things for me. The difference here is that she knew exactly what she was paying for when i was a kid and gave the authorization to pay it. Am I being unreasonable? I really want to move out, which I can afford now. But, am I being unreasonable in being angry with her?

I think I have read this question before. If not from you then from someone with the very same problem as you.


As a parent I did the job I am required to do as a parent in raising my child and seeing to it he become a law abiding responsible adult. As a parent that is all I want or should expect in return for everything or anything I do or have done for him. Being adopted places no special need upon you in any way to pay mom back for adopting you. You like any other child are a parents special gift. You are maybe more special since they chose you.


Your mother is entirely wrong taking money from you and running up your credit car without your permission and without the means to pay for what she charged. If your mother is physically able to work and chooses not to then she has a problem; she should not be your dependant. Children are their parents dependants not the other way around when the parent is physically capable of working. If mom has a medical reason precluding her from working then she should avail herself of the programs available to the disabled.


As for the intrusion into you space and privacy. That is wrong too. There is not much you can do about intruding into your space. It is your grandparents house. The stealing of your text books, I have no idea why she would do that but that is wrong as well. Intruding into your privacy is also very wrong. You're an adult know and entitled to your privacy just as she is. As to you deportment and appearance. Mark that up to her being mom and you being very pretty.


My advice is: Since you can afford to move out now that you do so. Cancel any credit card she has a copy of. Close any bank accounts, checking or savings mom has access to or is signatory too as well. Apply for new credit cards in your name only and open new bank accounts in your name only. You might consider a different bank, one where mom isn't known.


As much as you may feel it is your responsibility to support you mom; it is not your responsibility to do so. When you move out I;m sure she will have a00a and one reason you should stay and things you need to do for her monetarily. Don't do them. Find your own apartment, without telling mom your doing so. If need be furnish it from second hand and thrifts stores and save up for furniture you want to replace the thrift store purchase with.

When your ready to move out do so. Yes there will be some theatrics from mom but do not be deterred. Your an adult know responsible for your own life and entitled to it. So grab the straw and go enjoy life and the fruits of your education.

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When I first started college, I had some idea of what I liked and what I would like to do. It wasn't until now, my senior year, that I know exactly what I want to do, and I've had the calling to do it. The problem is... I already have 115 credits. To graduate from psychology, which was what I majored in, I need 120 credits to finish... so all I need is 2 classes. I do not want to graduate in another two years and change my bachelors Elementary Education, which is what I want to do. I want to be a teacher. However, let me explain the situation. I want to teach in private school, which has a little bit of a different criteria. First of all, the reason why I want to teach in private school is because I went there, and I understand how things work there. Secondly, because I already have a job offer waiting for after I graduate.

My dilemma is this. I could either graduate with psychology, and then go back and do another bachelors in elementary education, or I could just go straight into my masters and do my masters in education. If I do my masters, I will obviously get paid more. I just thought that if anyone had more experience, they may give me the best advice possible!

Thanks!

I'm not sure if this will help but it is a real life experience so maybe it will.


My niece was working on her Doctorate in Civil Engineering when she decided she didn't want to be an Engineer she wanted to teach. She contact different schools and received an offer where in exchange for providing the required courses for her teaching certificate she needed to remain a teacher with that school system for 2 years.


Good teachers are hard to find, especially for private schools. I would suggest you contact the schools you would like to teach at and ask them if you were to go to Graduate school for a Masters in Educating with an undergraduate Degree in Psychology would this make you a viable candidate to teach for them. Call several schools as each school has different criteria for their teachers.


Based on their answers you can formulate a decision on how to proceed. Based on how my niece was able to obtain her teaching certificate I feel you chances of landing a teaching job with a Masters Degree in Teaching, regardless of your undergraduate degree, are far better than my nieces were with her degrees.

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You know that stage where babies start to recognize people? Well what if an infant has a crush on someone at that early age? Does it even start that early? I highly doubt it, but I think that is what happened to me... I know it can't truly be named a crush, but something like that. I know that an infant is too small to even talk, let alone know what having a crush feels like. But at the same time I am not sure...

Please, no hate answers. I already know I will get some.

Thank you to the people who actually consider the question!

I really can't say if an infant can form a crush let alone have a crush on someone or anyone regardless of sex. What I do know is that infants have certain instincts. These instincts allow them to form the basic attachments they need to grow and mature. To learn who is mom as apposed to say the day care provider.

They also learn who they like as opposed to whom they don't like or care for based on these same instincts. An example of this would be say grandparents. One set of grand parents live close by and another live several hours drive away. The grand parents that live close by see the children at the very least weekly from the time they are born. While the grandparents who live further away may see them only on certain holidays.

One would think the grandparents that live close by would form a closer bond with the grandchildren. This is not always the case and was not the case with my son. He formed a very strong bond with my wife's Aunt who lived 200 miles away. While not forming much of a bond at all with my mother who lived less than 2 miles away. In fact as an infant he screamed every time my mother picked him up. He prefers being placed in my fathers lap.


My opinion is that infants can form relationships and bond with different people just as older children and adults can. As for having a crush on someone; I don't thin so I think it is just a preference for them. They feel safer with that person. If that is a crush then maybe so, though not to my definition of a crush.

This was a good question. I would really like to know your reason for asking. If you wouldn't mind writing me a private message as to your reasoning I might be able to expand on my answer.

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my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide if i leave him i dont know what to do

His threat to commit suicide to keep you in a relationship you do not want to be in is a form of control over you(more about this later).


If you are both over 18 call the police as suicide or threatening to commit suicide is illegal making this a police matter. They will see to it that he is seen by a doctor and treated if they feel he is serious about his threat. If you are under 18 then inform either your parents or his parents and let them handle the situation. You can if you do not wish to tell your parents call the police in any case regardless of your age.


Most likely his threat is just that a threat; away to control you and keep you. Just to be safe do as I suggest above. People who are controllers will do or say anything to control someone else. If he cannot keep you in the relationship by threat alone then it is very possible he could hurt you. You could be in great physical danger by staying in this relationship.


Never let anyone control you through force or threats. When force or threats are used to keep you in a relationship you are no longer in a relationship. A relationship takes two people who want to be together. If one wants to leave the relationship and is kept there by intimidation or force you are basically kidnapped into that relationship.


My advice is to leave him. He is most likely bluffing but just to be safe for yourself and him do as I said above. Either call the police and report his threat or tell one of your parents. Do not stay in this relationship under any circumstance as you are in danger.

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all my freinds have started i just want to fit in i am 11 but i dont have a feeling i will get it till around 20 i dont know when my mom started dont say like 'ur lucky!' or 'ull regret saying that!' coz i dont give a flying boot so is there any way to make it start!? I WILL TRY ANYTHING!

A recent statistical study found the average age of menarche is very difficult to estimate accurately, and it varies significantly by geographical region, race, ethnicity and other characteristics. Various estimates have placed it at 13.0 If your friends are your age they are way below the average age.

What the study did not factor in is the amount of athletic exercise a girl may be involved in. Female Olympic athletes exercise so hard that they do not and may not have ever gotten their period until after they have stopped training. The Summer Olympics are just a few weeks away look at look at the female athletes and see if they do not look under developed in relation to other women their age.

Not having your period does not make you less of a women. When your body is relay it will start secreting the hormones it needs to support fertility and prepare your womb for pregnancy. This is when you will get your period.

You should not give up things you may enjoy just so you can be as other girls and have seven days of cramping and 14 days of bloating each month. Your still all women without them.

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So my friend told me she thinks she has an std and that there's yellow stuff in her underwear what should I do to help?

If you and this friend have had any type of sexual relations including oral or HJ, then you both need to see a doctor ASAP. You both need to be tested for STDs and she needs to be treated.

It matters not if you wore a condom while having sex with her as condoms do not protect you from all STDs. As long as you are both over the age of 14 neither of you need parental permission to see a doctor. You can visit your family doctor or any free clinic in total confidentiality.

By Federal Law once you reach the age of 14 your reproductive heath is protected to the point that you can seek medical treatment such as STD screening and treatment, pregnancy testing birth control and other medical treatments without parental permission. This is guaranteed under a law known as HIPPA. No matter how well or how much a friend of the family your family doctor may be; he or she cannot inform your parent of any exam or treatment you receive. The penalty for the doctor to inform your parents or any of the office staff is 10 years in jail.

So get to a doctor asap.

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tips for sexoholics? im being serious and want serious answers please..its ruining my relationship of 2 years

The URL at the end should be helpful to you. It is for Sexaholics Anonymous (sa.com)which is a lot like Alcoholics Anonymous and has a similar 12 step program. Click on the Meeting Search to locate a meeting place near you.

The fellowship provide by these type groups are very successful in helping people overcome addictions. Your addiction is sex. My brother in-laws addiction is alcohol. He is almost 23 years sober thanks to aa.

Go to a meeting talk to the meeting leader and to the people there. IF you work the program and do as they show you to do you can become sober as it is called.

Good luck; write me back in private message if you need additional help or friendship.


http://sa.org/

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I feel your pain. I am in a painful marriage. I've tried everything t repair, to cope, to be perfect..now I am thinking suicide. WHere are you? Come to me, lets' mend each other...

Is this a question or are you searching for someone who has written to us?

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my mom is very suspicious she is a little mental

Mom's are supposed to be suspicious that's how moms are. They are more suspicious of their daughters because they are the ones who can become pregnant. Then mom and dad have to deal with the daughters pregnancy.

It is a little bit of a double standard since boys are not exactly passive players in a pregnancy but the responsibilities are different for the parents of the boy so there is less suspicion placed on them.


Other than this I can't offer you much more information as you have not said what mom is suspicious of. Write back with more information and we will all try to help I'm sure.

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I wanna cut my wrists,and all because my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore,I need help because I know it doesn't make any sense.

Cutting your wrists are not going to cause your boyfriend to love you any more or again or any less for that matter. All cutting your wrists will do, at the very least will scar you for life and ad worst if you cut in the wrong place kill you before help arrives.


Since I'm not sure what is your intention in cutting your wrist I'm going to error on the side of extreme caution. You need help. Help that we can't give you over the Internet.

Please do one of the following:

Call 911, tell them you are thinking of cutting your wrists. They will send help to you.

Go to the nearest hospital emergency room and tell them you want to cut your wrists, they will help you. You do not need any money or insurance for their help.

Go to the nearest Fire or Police Station, in the U.S. or Canada fire and police stations are safe havens for children. Tell the person on watch you are wanting to cut your wrists they will help you.

If you are reading this in school go to the health room and tell the nurse.

I do not want to trivialize your feelings. I know the hurt you feel is real. Broken hearts do mend. IF you and this boy were meant to be this would not be happening. Grieve for your lost love then go back out and find your true love. As my mother use to tell me; "there are plenty of fish in the sea so just go fishing." She was right; I found my true love and have been married to her for 40 years. Before that I had many a broken heart.

You boyfriend is not worth hurting or killing yourself over. He is the one who has truly lost something in this relationship for he lost you and their is no one else on this planet like you.

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