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advice

I'm 27 years old and have a one year old child. I split up with the father of my child about six months ago. Since then, I've been seeing someone who lives in another state. Things are really good with us, minus the fact that we don't live together. We've been talking more about taking this to the next level (kids, moving in together, marriage). There's only one problem, my ex refuses to allow me to move our child to another state, which I totally understand. So, without going into to much detail.. How can I ask my boyfriend to move to me instead of me moving to him? He's living where he was born and grew up, knows everyone, has a decent job, his family is there. If I moved, I would be moving from my family, taking my child from her father, no friends. I just really want this to work and I feel it would be easier if he moved to me.. Just don't know how to ask. All he talks about is "when you move here.." "We can do this when you get here.." Help!

You have a problem for which there may not be a viable solution.

You cannot legally move so far as to disrupt your ex husbands rights to visitation and any joint custody as spelled out in your divorce decree. You can if your ex husband is willing give him custodial custody of your daughter, which would allow you to move to your boyfriend. This though I doubt is a viable solution.

There are only two other options open to you. The first is to go back to court seeking the courts permission to take your daughter to another state. Your primary need to do so may not meet with the courts feelings as need to modify the custody agreement. By going to court you also run the risk of your ex husband winning a modification in the agreement.

That leaves option two, which is telling it straight to the boyfriend. To tell your boyfriend that legally your ex husband has you glued to a certain radius from him so that he may maintain his parental rights. Until such time as your daughter is old enough for the court to accept what your daughter tells them; as to what she may want, the custody agreement is binding.

He will need to decide if he wants to come to you. He can also look to see if he can move closer. Close enough so that you two can be together without violating your custody agreement and still keep his job?

Some of the things he is saying that you can do together when you move there probably can be done anywhere. The biggest problem is going to be his job. The job market right know is not good. If he cannot keep his present job, what is the outlook for his future employment if he moves closer to you? I would say this is going to be the biggest factor in any decision you two make.

I wish I had a better answer for you. I just don't see one that would be satisfactory to all concerned. You could try negotiating with your ex. Some how though it is my feeling that your happiness is not his concern. Custody and his rights are a control over you he probably is not willing to give up, at least not without a fight.

All I can do is wish you luck.

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I'm seriously at the end of my tether, I have nobody to talk to about what I'm goin through and nobody cares whether I'm dead or alive, I just wanna end the pain.

I care, so do any of the other advisors who answer you. You don't say what your problem is or why it is bothering you like this. What I do know is there is no problem so huge that it can't be fixed or resolved in a manner you can live with.

At the moment this problem is causing you to be depressed. Depression is something I have personal knowledge of. When you are depressed you do not think clearly and everything you see and hear is not always as it appears to you.

Even reading this your saying to yourself; he doen't know what I'm going through. He knows nothing of my problem he is full of sh*t. I may not know your exact problem but I DO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH

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I had asthma when I was a kid. I haven't had problems with it since I was 14(I'm 21 now). Well I recently had an asthma attack and the fact that I have asthma will put my job at risk. Suffice to say I like my job and losing it is not an option. I've been doing research and I'm trying to figure out what could have caused it. I don't have allergies, I hadn't done anything outside the normal range of exercise I'm used to. I haven't gained any weight. I weigh 185. I've been in this area for 4 months and I keep my room very clean. I run all the time and work out too. My diet is not different or anything. Is It possible it's coming back? If so what are some causes of attacks so I can avoid them? P.S I can't just quit this job I have to wait until my contracts up. The whole point of this is to avoid having to get kicked out early.

None of us here are doctors so we cannot give you a definitive answer to your question. What little I know about Asthma is not much help either. There was some research that was thought to point to the fact that childhood asthma might be outgrown though this study was not definitive.

There are a lot of factors that can trigger an asthma attack. Other than saying this attack puts your job at risk, which legally it cannot as you cannot be terminated for being ill. The only pertinent risk factor of your work would be your work itself. Those factors could environmental directly or indirectly such as a sick building environmental situation.

Should it come to it that the job is the cause of your asthma returning; then no one morally or legally can hold you to this employment contract. Your health always comes first.

I believe though we are putting the cart in front of the horse. You need to see an Asthma specialist to find out if your Asthma has truly returned? If your work environment is the cause of the return? Can the asthma be controlled with medication which will allow you to complete your contract?

Once you have the answers to these questions then and only then can you make an informed decision as to what you need to do. Until then try to stop stressing over this so as not to trigger another attack. Find a doctor who can make a proper diagnoses. If necessary go to a hospital ER but see a doctor and get the medication you may need to help you until you have all the answers.

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Alright so me and my boyfriend were in bed and one thing led to another i was giving him head and he came and i cant remeber if any was left on his... but then he put a condom on and we started to have sex and at first the condom like sliped off, but it didnt and he didnt cum inside me and i was on my period so im wondering if it sounds like i should be worried about getting pregnant ?

The chances are good that you are not pregnant. To become pregnant you need to be ovulating. It is rare that a woman would be ovulating during her period though it is not unheard of.

You said you were using a condom, that it did not come off. If none of he cum got inside you then it would be hared for you to get pregnant.

The best way to easy your concern is to buy a home pregnancy test and follow the directions as to when and how to use it.

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Can i get pregnant if i have sex while i am on my period?

In theory you can get pregnant anytime you have sex. The overriding factor as to when you can conceive is when during your cycle you ovulate. It is while you are ovulating that you can become pregnant.

While it is unlikely a women will ovulate during her period it is not unheard of. My advice is that you use proper birth control and condoms for added birth control if you are sexually active.

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Im 11 im dating a 14 year old am i old enough to have sex with him if so can i get pregnant cuz he says he wants to have a family with me rite now

I'm going to start by saying you may not like my answer either. At 11 years old you are not only to young to be having sex, your body may not be able to conceive a child.

Both you and your boyfriend are too young to be thinking along these lines. While it is nice to think about having a baby and living with your man in most states you would not be allowed to do so by law.

If you were to get pregnant your not even old enough, by law to make any decisions as to whether you continue the pregnancy, give the baby up for adoption if you do or have an abortion. These decisions would be made by your parents. Your boyfriend and his parents would have no say in the matter.

Given the fact that your boyfriend is 3 years older than you. If you were to become pregnant by him; he could be in legal trouble for getting you pregnant because he is 3 years older than you. Fact is by law in some states you could be violating the law by dating.

I'm not saying this to scare you or to be mean Fact is you are way to young to be dating. You are 2 years away from being a teenager and even then you should not be in an exclusive relationship.

I know the world has changed since I was your age. But somethings have not changed and never will. What has not changed is that all of us need time to grow and more mature. This is what childhood and your teenage years are all about. Learning about the world we live in while we have the security of our home and family to protect us.

You may not fully understand what I have written but trust that I have your best interest at heart. You may be a very mature 11 year old but you are not as mature as your boyfriend. In the three year difference in age he has experienced a lot more than you have and I fear he is taking advantage of you sexually or at least trying too.

While I know this is not something you want to talk to your parents about I believe you should. They need to know what this boy is trying to do and to help him get the help he needs. For if you say no he will try and find someone else who will say yes to him maybe someone younger than you.

I'm thinking your boyfriend just may be a sexual predator in the making. This is the only reason I can see for him dating an 11 year old. So please talk to your parents or a trusted teacher.

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Yes, I'm gay and have a boyfriend. His name is Myles. we are both 13 and this summer somtimes we would have sex inthe late night. I don't have any problems but i was wondering if it was okeay. weve been doing this for some time now. Is it okeay please anserw.

I'm going to start by saying you may not like my answer either.

First and foremost it is okay to be gay, IF THAT IS TRULY WHAT YOU ARE. Fact is at 13 I don't believe you have really explored your sexuality. At your age sexual exploration between two people of the same sex is quite normal. It is for this reason that I warn against labeling your sexuality at this time.

Another reason for not labeling your sexuality at this time is not only could your sexuality change in the future. Your classmates may not be so accepting of your being gay. For you or your BF to label yourself at this time could needlessly expose you to gay bashing both at school and out of school.

As I said it is quite normal for young teenagers such as you to experiment sexually with people of the same sex. Both girls and boys have such relationships in their early stages of sexual exploration. Their are a myriad of reasons for this experimentation none of which are relevant to your question. All you need to know is this is normal for someone your age.

For now though I would recommend you not label yourself, for your own safety and the fact that this just may be as I believe; sexual experimentation. Leave yourself some room to venture and explore other sexual experiences. When you are older, living in an adult world will be the time to actually put a label on your sexuality.

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I'm 18 and I've always hated not having boobs. I'm a 34A if that, I wouldn't be caught dead in a sports bra beause I'd look like a 12 year old or a little boy..are they really done growing? Or is rhere a way to make them bigger (for my own personal preference, not anyone elses or society) also my left is bigger than my right which is noticable with small boobs, my left fills out a 34A cup and my right doesn't so my bra like has a space before my boob..embarrassing. Also usually when you grab a boob it's squishy because it's fat, but mine feel almost like I have some kind of tissue implanted boobs..because they aren't squishy there's like some kind of tissue feeling ness as my boob Practically. They haven't grown that I've noticed at all over the last 2 years idk if it's my diet or what, I'm 5'8 and weigh about 113 I've always been slim but all my family has big boobs, my sister is a 34C shes had boobs since she was 14 and here I am 18 and can't even wear a bathing suit in public -_-

Obviously you must be looking for a non surgical way to handle your problem. Unfortunately I am not aware of one that actually works. Most insurance companies will not pay for cosmetic surgery. In your case if the difference between the size of each breast is large enough it is not considered elective cosmetic surgery rather corrective cosmetic surgery.

Only a surgeon can make the call as to which one it is and then your insurance company should have to make a decision as to if they will pay. If they decide against paying there is an appeals process with the state insurance commission you can appeal their decision to. It has been my own experience that when appealed to the insurance commission the commission has sided with the patient.


Normally I would advise you to either live with what god gave you or start saving for a surgical option. In what you have written you may have a medical condition where surgery is required to correct it. That being the size of one breast being so much different in size then the other. This is a known medical condition that now that you are 18, and for the most part fully grown, surgery is the only option to correct. Since surgery, cosmetic implantation and removal of the fibrous tissue, is the only corrective action; your health insurance will most likely foot the entire cost of the surgery and implants.

My advice is to seek out a Board Certified Surgeon who specializes in Breast reconstruction. The surgeon should show you before and after pictures of other surgery's he or she has done so you can see the work he or she has done.

For a referral to a Breast Surgeon ask your family doctor, your insurance company, the state medical board or your local hospitals referral line.

If I am correct in what I am thinking. You have a correctable medical problem not just a cosmetic elective surgery desire. The insurance company will want information from a surgeon before paying for this operation.

Good luck. Hopefully you will soon have the bust line you have always wanted. Just make sure to stay proportional to your body. I would think based on your weight and height a small to medium B cup would look good on you.

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Me and my boyfriend is thinking of having sex and im kinda scared cuz I've seen his penis before.im just soo scared. He's 15 im 13

I agree with LVR,

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Hi I'm 27 yerrs old female who is suffering from agrophobia panic attacks. Disorder for 4months now. Every thing started 7years ago so I start taking paxil 20mg and it was worked great for me. Till 7years after 4months it came back and I increase my dose up to 30 mg but is not seem to. Work it got worse for me because I even. Scared to live the house and sometimes even home don't feel safe I don't know what to do but even my relationship is going not well because of this I do want to get better as soon as possible but this fear what I. Feel....I can't do this anymore pleasesomeone help me I do not want to loose control of my life but I feel like I will if this is not going to stop what should I do?

If you follow my advice an see the doctors LVR and I are suggesting you will get the help you need. Start with a phone call to a good psychiatrist who can work with you by phone and send new medications to you to control the attacks. You need to take this first step


I agree with lyr you need professional help with this problem. Paxil is a drug that requires a prescription. Who prescribed this medication for you. Was it your family doctor? If so you need to find a Board Certified psychiatrist as well as a psychologist to work with.

Paxil is an antidepressant and while panic attacks are part of depression an antidepressant alone may not be enough. You are not crazy, your family doctor just does not have the training to deal properly with this problem. A psychiatrist working with a psychologist is the best way to deal with this problem.

In your case which came first, the panic attacks or the depression. This is sort of a chicken and egg problem. A psychiatrist is better trained to deal with this and will prescribe the proper medications which hopefully will allow you to get out and work with the psychologist.

Now I am not a doctor so I cannot diagnose the problem for you. What I can tell you is that I am in recovery from depression. In my case I know which came first and why. The depression came first and it triggered the panic attacks. My psychiatrist prescribed two medications. One to be taken daily, for depression and one to be taken when I felt a panic attack coming on. I learned to identify the panic attack in its earliest stages working with my psychologist.

My advice is to seek out a Board Certified psychiatrist. Board Certification is important. Any doctor who had a psychiatry residency can practice psychiatry only a Board Certified doctor has the Fellowship and extra studies required for certification. Your psychiatrist can help you find a psychologist to work with.

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19/F. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and we've basically done everything but sex because I have such a fear about being pregnant.

This is stupid and I won't do it again until I actually want kids but we showered together and were doing stuff in it and it wasn't until after he left after the shower I got my period. On that same day.

But it only lasted 3 days and the first two days were heavy but on the third day there was barely any. Usually if I'm lucky my period will END on the 7th day. So that was odd. Then four days after the shower I started going insane and thinking what if when we were against each other in the shower and his penis was on my stomach what if I got impregnant somehow.

So I went to the pharmacy and bought the OneStep pack with two pregnancy tests in the box and they both came up as not pregnant. Which made me feel better.

But its four days after that now and today I was feeling so dizzy and yesterday I got car sick and I used to get car sick all the time but not anymore so yesterday being really car sick and today being really dizzy after lifting the usual things I lift just worries me.

Is it possible that I'm pregnant? And did I take the pregnancy tests too soon, even though it was 4 days after the shower and i got my period after the shower?

One of my friends think that I didn't get my period and that he broke my hymen when he fingered me. But she said that it should be liek bleeding for just a whole day, not three.

Please help I'm so scared and I will not even think about doing that in the shower again. I am absolutely scared and am not ready to have a baby and my parents are nto the ones that will support me; they will immediately disown me and I am in a great school program. My friends think I'm worrying too much, but all this stuff just keeps popping up!

Just having his penis on your stomach will not get you pregnant. He would have had to ejaculate sperm and that sperm would have had to be very close to or actually ejaculated into your vagina to get you pregnant.

The fact that you had you period the same day says the possibility you could be impregnated was very small. You would also have to be ovulating to get pregnant. Most women do not ovulate while they are having their periods. The fact that your period was three days shorter than normal could be the result of a variety of factors. One being stress resulting from worry.

If you are this concerned you can put your concerns to rest with a home pregnancy test. I am fairly certain that you are not pregnant. From what you have written the factors needed for pregnancy are not their.

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i was texting my friend and she started talking about how annoying her family was then she said she was gonna run away and i tried and tried to talk her out of it but she just yelled at me and told me i didnt know her and i told her i was only trying to help and things got out of control so i told her mom and now shes blaming everything on me what should i do?

Let me put this in another prospective. You have already done the right thing. I for one am proud of you for doing what was right to protect your friend. You may have just saved her life.

She may hate you now but at least she is alive and protected from what life would be like alone on the streets. At some point when whatever problems have caused her to think her only answer was to run away, are settled, she will come around and thank you for being her friend and doing the right thing. Until then there is not much you can do but remain her friend from a far to make sure she does not do anything that might harm herself.

You did the right thing, the mature thing and as I said I am very proud of you for doing that. Many others would have kept her secret and then hated themselves if she was hurt or worse. So just continue to be their for her if she needs you. One day she will realize you are her BFF.

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12 almost 13-female
Ok so right now I'm in bed and I've been having the worst cramp for the past couple hours, since like 5:30. (like a million little devils are stabing me in my vagina and area above it) I have yet to have my period, but I've been have cramps like this, about as long and around the same-ish time, too. Do you think I'll be having my period soon? and, anyway to get rid of or slightly get rid of my cramps? another question, I do waterpolo from 4:00-5:30 everyday (around the time of my cramps, and trust me, they're not linked.) but I hate the idea of tampons, I can't even get one in! but I dont want to be like the horror movie where the girl hasherperiod in the pool. o-o that would be horrible. so, thats question number two; how do I deal with waterpolo and my hattred of tampons? owch please help soon it hurts very badly. xOx thank you for your consideration.

I will just add the following to what has already been said.

Your period is a natural function of a women's body. Not something to be embarrassed about. For the best advice on this question you should be talking to your mother. I'm sure she is waiting for you to come to her with the news that your first period has arrived. She can then help you with the proper sanitary products to choose and how best to help you with the cramps and other problems.

Remember what you are know experiencing Mom experienced when she had her first period. There is nothing sexual about a woman's period other than it is related to her sexual organ. It is as I said a normal bodily function just like any other bodily function you have.

So talk to your mom and let her know what is happening with your period. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing.

Just for the record, we men know all about this stuff too. If we didn't know about it before we married we got a crash course right after we married. So if need be you can talk to your dad as well.

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Okay, I'm shaking right now. 8( I just noticed the tip of my penis is swollen & red. (No pains) I've never had sex, never done drugs. I think it may possibly be a reaction to dust, I say this because I just pulled an old quilt out and as I lay down, my eyes became super irritated, like badly, red with the eye goo. All the while I was mastrabating under the quilt 8( The quilt was old & probably dusty. IDK what to do!!! This is sooo embarassing 8( Its not the whole tip, just the hole.

I don't think this is a question any of us can answer as we are not doctors. Common sense says it is very possible something on the quilt irritated your penis. The question now becomes what if anything to do about it?


I would say if by the time you read this the swelling and redness has not gone away then you need to see your doctor. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, masturbation is normal and your doctor will have seen far worse than what you are complaining about.

The fact that you are 17 gives you medical confidentiality by law. Meaning you do not need to tell your parents about this or ask their permission to see a doctor. Neither your mother or father can be with you while you consult with your doctor unless you invite one of them to be with you. This is granted you under a law known as HIPPA which congress wrote into a section specifically for people 14 and older to seek medical help for problems with their reproductive systems. Your problem definitely qualities.

Your doctor no matter how well he is known to your family can not release any information to anyone, this includes your parents without your written permission. This includes your parents. To do so would subject your doctor to loss of license and 5 years in Jail under this law.

Now you do not have to go to you family doctor if you feel this would be too embarrassing. You can go to any clinic including any of the walk-in clinics. The visit will be covered under you health insurance with your parent coverage. At 17 years of age and probably driving you should be carrying your own health care coverage card in any case.

As I said if the swelling and irritation have not subsided then you need to see a doctor so either go to your own family doctor or a clinic but seek a doctor care.

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I am currently 9 weeks pregnant. I'm happily married, so it's not that. I'm worried because a few years ago I was involved with a guy that cheated on me and gave me Chlamydia. I fell fell for his stupid lies and took him back, thus repeating what had happened before. So he gave me Chlamydia TWICE. I never spoke to him again, I was hurt and extremely angry that I was one of those people who got an STD even though I'm faithful, but others who are promiscuous are sometimes lucky enough to never get anything. But anyway, I was just wondering how this could affect my pregnancy. Is it possible I could have an ectopic pregnancy? I have an appt set but I want to know if I should go get it checked out earlier. I have period-like cramps on a regular basis, and at first I thought it was implantation cramping but it's continued. Occasionally I'll get a sharp pain on either side of my lower abdomen and sometimes it's near my sphincter. Which is weird.... I'm worried, that's all. I know it's fatal if that's the case so I wanna know what I should do. Let it play out, or get myself seen now.

My answer to questions like this is: If you are this concerned call you doctor. Stress during early pregnancy is not good for you or the baby. So even though everything Rahzi said is correct, you are still stressing over this and most likely will continue to do so until you speak to your doctor.

My advice is to call your doctors office and advice them of your concerns. Let the doctor decide if you need to come in earlier.

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Hi all,

I apologize if this question might come across as stupid or obvious to those of you who live in the states, but as a European I really don't know!

Next fall I will be going to the states with my boyfriend and we'll be doing a road trip though a couple of states. My question is that if we buy a very basic prepaid sim card (without a contract), how does calling work. Does the phone number limit you to one state, or can you call from one state to another without added fees, etc?

For instance, here in Europe you have to pay a lot more if you're calling from country to another. I'm just wondering if the same applies in the US from one state to another...?

Any information on this would be much appreciated as things are quite different over here! :) Thank you in advance.

Here in the states we do have (cell)phone systems that allow unlimited calling from state to state regardless of where you are. What I do not know is if your phone will be compatible with any of these systems. The IPhone is probably the best as it is one of the most popular in this country followed by the Verizon Droids.

The people who can best answer this question for you are the people you presently have service with. They are the ones who know what carriers their systems are most compatible with the systems here. You should be able to use your present phone with some type of extended contract for service will here in the states though what ever agreements they have with carriers here.

I would suggest you try to hook up with either Verizon, ATT or Sprint as they are the largest carriers in the country in that order.

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My daughter plays on a soccer team and recently lost their first game against a team that is without a doubt are biggest rivarly. That being said one of the coaches did not say this to the girls on the field, but later posted it on his daughter's facebook page. That winning the game doesn't matter the tournament is what counts. Now I know this coach and he has a personal vendetta against the other teams coach, his daughter is friends with some of those players. So he wanted to send the message that basically their win doesn't count and I think that is so wrong. First of all we are talking about 10-13 girls. This has really bothered me that he would go out of his way to send this message and put down their win. They played better than our girls did and the earned that win. The placement in tournament is based on your wins so to me they do count and are equally important. correct? Also, how do I address this with the head coach as he is not on facebook and would not have known this was done. Many of our girls are on facebook so what is he saying to our girls that whether we win or lose it is all for not because it really doesn't matter anyway? Thank you.

I agree with you that the coach is wrong and is sending the wrong message to the team. At their age he should not only be teaching the game but sportsmanship as well. From what you have written he is failing miserably at this teaching.

I would not recommend addressing the coach directly as I do not feel you alone will do anything of value to address the situation with him. Instead if the team is playing in a league such as a one underwritten by Parks and Recreation. Then you should go to the person or persons in Parks and Recreation to address this.

I know when I coached my son's Soccer Team at that age there were specific rules of conduct for the coaches as well as what the coaches were expected to teach the children. Every league regardless of who may be the primary underwriter has rules of conduct for the coaches, the referees and the players.

If the coach is not following the rules of conduct, then you should complain to the league and let them take the appropriate action.

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how do you have sex

Flare is right. You may also be to young for any of us to answer this questionlegally. Does you school offer sex education classes? Most schools offer them at different grade levels. Have you taken these classes or have you been opted out of them and why?

This question is the question you should really ask of one of your parents, whichever one you are most comfortable talking too. Sex is really not something to be embarrassed about. It is a natural function of most animals including us human animals.

From my point of view the more information you have about sex, especially a girl, the better armed she is to take care of herself in different situations.

So talk to mom or dad first. Just ask them to talk to you about sex and why. I would advice you that sex at a young age is wrong. It is not a sport to see how many boys or girls you can bed.

Sex is a very intimate act to be shared with another loving person. Both of you need to be old enough and mature enough to understand the consequences of sex before entering into it. That means waiting until atleast you are old enough by law to have sex. In most states that age is 18, the age of consent.

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So I just moved to a new town about 2 months ago, I still haven't really made friends I've only met 2 new people. One person I hung out with once and he came over for an hour or so and we just hung out and talked I'll call him Dave. Well Dave came over again when nobody else was here and we started making out and stuff and he wanted to have sex with me. I told him we needed to stop because I didn't know him well at all, he tried to talk me into but said he wouldn't force me so we stopped. I didn't tell him the main reason i said no was because I'm still a virgin, which he doesn't know. As much as I'd love to have sex I dont want to do it with someone who may just wanna hit it and quit it, (not sure If that's the case) and that seems like a whorish thing to do to sleep with someone the second time weve hungout, yes i do realize how crazy all this probably sounds. I haven't been in a relationship in 2 years and I want to Lose my virginity soon, but I want to be dating the person and know them an be comfortable with them because I'm still not even comfortable with my body or anything. I don't want to be an item or a whore. I still didn't tell him why, and I'm not sure what I should say to him or if I should even explain myself. Because I do feel bad that we madeout and started gettin frisky and he had a boner and I just made him stop all the sudden but I didn't wanna do anything stupid. Any advice helps..thanks
18/f he's also 18

I'm known to be very liberal in my views on sex. I am also old fashion enough to believe that a girls virginity is a very precious gift that should not be wasted on someone you don't know well, are not comfortable with and are not planning on being in a loving long term relationship with. This does not mean that you two will eventually marry though that would be nice.

My advice is to stick to your guns so to speak as what you have expressed is exactly the right thought. Your virginity should not just be given away just for the sake of getting rid of it. It is far to precious a gift to do that. Make sure the man you give it to understands how precious it is and takes his time to make it a memorable event for you.Until then know has to know you are a virgin unless you want them to know. There is no same in being a virgin.

As to not being comfortable with your body. I assume you are not ready for a man to see you naked for you perceive some flaw in your body. Relax if you chose the right man to give your virginity to he will be making love to you, your body is the vehicle. He will not see the flaws you may perceive.

Men have the same body flaw perceptions. They worry they are too big, too small, to long or to short; will they satisfy the women they are sleeping with and so on. It matters not how many women they may have slept with this problem bothers them every time they have a new partner.

Below is a link to a website I found sometime ago when answering a question for another young lady with questions about first time sex. I think it will answer many of the questions you may be asking yourself.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

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um i was wondering becuse if i was married i would want only one daughter and not have too many kids what can i do to prevent having too much children please help me

First: You do not want to get a hysterectomy as a permanent form of birth control. What you want is a Tubal Ligation, which cuts the duct between your ovaries and your womb so that an egg can not be impregnated and plant itself in your womb.

Known as to your question as to how to have only one child and have that child be a girl. You are getting into the realm of genetic engineering as it is the male that determines the sex of a child.

At this time as I write this I am not sure if doctors will even do this for you. If they will I am very sure it will be very expensive. If this is what you want it would have to be something you and your husband discuss and agree upon as it is far from the normal intimacy surrounding a couple bringing a child into this world.

Once you have the number of children you desire then you or your husband can be sterilized either through a tubal ligation for you or a vasectomy for him.

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