The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.


How do I measure 7/8 cup water? Thanks...

Another way to do this would be to take a 1 cup measure and fill it. Then take an 1/8 of a cup measure and dip it out of the 1 cup measure. They do make 1/8 cup measuring cups.

I would use a 2 cup measuring bowl or cup filled to the one cup line. This way when you dip out the 1q/8 cup you don't lose any more than what you are dipping out.


Can I take a recipe for making rolls by scratch and use bread machine with same recipe?

I would say probably not. Scratch backing uses different amounts of yeast and baking powder than might be proper to use in the bread machine. Having never used a bread machine I am only guessing though.

I would suggest if you really want to use that recipe in your bread machine that you call the customer service line for the manufacture of the machine. They may be able to tell you how to adjust the ingredients for use in their machine.
If you don't have the handbook that came with the machine you can find the number by searching on line.


My grandmother passed away about 4 months ago now. She left behind a small will, but many possessions that were not listed in the will. Currently, most of these things (decor, books, jewelry) are sitting in our house. With several items, people have just expressed interest in them and my mom or dad will just generously give them away, as we don't really need them, and it seems like what my grandma would have wanted.

There is one box, however, that has remained untouched. This is all of my grandmother's jewelry. We aren't sure of a lot of the value, and so we haven't really decided what to do with it. Recently though, I was made aware that my grandma's wedding and anniversary rings are also in this box, and she hadn't left them to anyone in her will.

Here is my question- I am getting married next year, and currently my boyfriend and I are looking at rings. Honestly, I would really love to have my grandma's ring, but it seems a little rude to ask for it, because I don't want to seem like I am trying to profit off her passing or anything...

Is there anyway I could bring this up without coming across like I am using my grandma's death for my own benefit?

I see nothing wrong in asking your parents if you could have your grandmothers ring. I see no difference in asking to have it as a remembrance of her or to have it as your wedding ring.

I also see having your grandmothers ring as part of your wedding as a way of including her in your wedding. So no I do not see this as you trying to benefit from her passing. In fact I see it as a great gesture of inclusion in your wedding so ask your parents.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. May you have a long happy life together.


My neighbor is dating my ex-boyfriend.I dated this guy for a really long time. He even stalked me for awhile, and hes only dating her too upset me. I don't care what he does anymore, Ive moved on, but it kills me to see her get used. Ive told her everything but shes 15 and wont listen. My ex however, is 19. I'm not comfortable seeing the two of them together.
My question is, how can her to realize he's only using her?

If I were you I would send or say two words to my ex "Statutory Rape".

She is 15 and under the age of consent. He is 19 making a 4 year difference in ages. The difference in age is what violates the law of Statutory Rape. Sex does not have to be involved in violating this law. Then there is also possible charges of child molestation, sexual predator and leading to the delinquency of a minor. All of these are real law full violations of the law because she is under the age of consent and he is 4 years older than her. If by chance you live close to a state line and they have crossed it together then there is the Federal Law of the "MANN Act" that has been violated as well.

Now if sex is involved then the top charge is "Rape." Why because I know no state, or most western countries where the age of consent is 15. Since she is under the age of consent then she cannot consent to having sex with anyone therefore any sexual relation she may participate in, even willingly is "RAPE."

All teenage boys are well versed in the knowledge that dating and having sex with an underage girl can get you 15 years in Jail. If your ex boyfriend has one active brain cell in his head he should head your advice that she is under age and he is breaking the law. Whether you choose to inform the police is up to you.


Hey there, I posted here a few weeks ago about my boyfriend and I. He's 20 and I am 19.
Well the other day we both had the day off and on that specific day he picks up his little girl from daycare, I had yet to meet her because he wants to make sure he doesn't bring just anyone around her. He said he wants to make sure I'm not gonna go anywhere first. Well, the day before hand he suddenly asks if I wanted to meet his parents and sister, I said sure and we had dinner with his family, I was really nervous and shy the whole time I was there. Well the next day without even asking me, we're driving in his car, and he just stops in front of this building and he gets out of his car and a few minutes later he is at the car again holding his little girl smiling. It was so cute and I was way happy to meet her, we went to his parent's house for dinner again and played with his little girl, I was sooo nervous so I didn't pick her up and only played with her when she came up to me. After we dropped her off at her mom's house we were driving home and he asked what I thought. I told him I was really surprised and I am afraid that his little girl won't like me. He said not to worry. I was happy he wanted me to be that intertwined with his family and little girl but when I got home that night everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so overwhelmed, I couldn't sleep because all I could think of is how this little girl might hate me and if her and I do grow to like each other and bond what if I break up with my boyfriend? Everything happened so fast and my mind couldn't even process it. I am the first girl he has ever introduced to his daughter(besides her mother obviously) I am so nervous for so many reasons, I want to tell him he is moving fast but I feel like I didn't give him any reason to slow down. Well the day after I didn't talk to him at all, he was freaking out and called me after he got off work and I ignored it. I talked to him earlier and he wants to know what's wrong. I'm not sure how to approach him and tell him, he already introduced me there's nothing we can do about it now, I'm worried if I say things are going to fast he'll think I want to end it, but I want him to know I'm overwhelmed with all of this. How do I talk to him about this, how do I feel okay with having a child in my life at 19?

Frankly I think you said it very well in your writing to us. I think your BF was wrong to just spring his little girl on you this way. While I'm sure his parents were delighted to see there granddaughter it did put an extra level of stress on you.

What you have not said, which is important in order to give you a better answer. Is how long you two have been going together or how old his daughter is?

The answer to these questions is important for a number of reasons. The older his daughter is the easier it is for her to form attachments and the harder on her to understand when someone she likes disappears from her life. So you concern there is justified. As for how long you have known each other is the fact that you are both two young to form a Successful lasting relationship such as marriage. Marriages at your age statistically fail more than if you were 4 or 5 years older and had a higher education. So again your concerns are valid.

I would suggest you reread you question to us. Hi-lite the important parts and in essence put it to him in a very similar manner. Your concerns for his daughters well being are well placed. You were put in a very stressful position on for which he should have asked for your consent before hand. If he is this impulsive and not thing of your concerns and feelings then your concern for a lasting relationship with him is also valid.

There are times when you have to hit someone over the head with something to make them understand. Trying to sugar coat your concerns heard is wrong. I'm all for telling him like it is and see his reaction. IF the reaction is negative then you may want to reevaluate your relationship with him.


ok so i was taking a shower and i noticed that there were small spidery red veins on my boobs.
i know veins are normal,but these were small and red and i never saw them before so am concerned.
what should i do?
any advise will be very thankful!!

I know you have asked for girls only. Since none have answered you as the parent I am.

Since non of us are doctor we can't truly answer your question from a medical stand point. That and the fact that your question involves something that must be seen to in order to give you any advise as to what they are.

My advice is to tell your mother about them. This is nothing to be embarrassed about. There is nothing sexual about your breasts. They may be a sexually titillating object for men but for being sexual; the answer is no.

Mom and you are built alike so she will know if these red veins are something to be concerned about or just apart of your breast growing and maturing. She cannot tell for looking at your breasts, if she asks to look at them, if you have allowed a boy to touch then or do anything else to them or with them. Neither can she tell if you are a virgin or not, hopefully you still are.

When it comes to anything you feel is not right with your body or you don't feel well mom or dad is the best person to go to for advice as to what to do. This is especially important when it comes to your reproduction system.

You can have problems such as yeast infections that have nothing to do with if you are a virgin or not. Urinary track infects are more common in women than they are in men. Many girls try to ignore them as the sensation to a urinary track infection is felt in the vagina and they are afraid their parents will accuse them of having sex. This is wrong on both counts.

My advice is that you go to mom and tell her about the red veins. Then while you are talking to her talk to her about being able to come to her for other problems without being accused of something that has nothing to do with the problem. We adults sometimes forget what it is like to be a teenager and how we felt. We try to tell you we remember. Fact is we only remember the good times. Certain time we all block out as will you. These include times such as you are having now and other sick or embarrassing times. So talk to mom.


Hey everyone, I have really been trying to understand everything that comes along with pregnancy to answer my question, but I still don't seem to get it. Currently I am actually 5 days over my due date, due date was June 30th. Last menstrual period was approximately Sept. 5th. I had sex on Sept. 17 and then again on Oct. 7th (and took Plan B within 3 days after). I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant on November 19th based on an ultrasound. Which time did I most likely get pregnant? Bc I know conception/implantation itself can take up to 14 days I have been thinking that the Sept 17th time was most likely it, also since I would've ovulated around then, but I would still like your input as well since I'm not totally sure. Thank you so much for your help and responses!!

As far as I'm concerned; conception and delivery dates are as much guess work as they are science. The doctor bases his/her answers to these questions based on your answers to their questions and the size of the baby and other markers when viewed on ultra sound.

My belief is the woman is more in tune with her body then the doctor is and is more capable of defining when conception may have occurred. Based on your feeling of when conception occurred you can then count forward the number of days for a full gestation period and come up with a delivery due date.

Based on my very unscientific survey I have found most doctors are off by two weeks in either direction. Were is mom is generally spot on with in days of when she delivers.

Like I said it is a very unscientific survey as it envelops a very small circle of family members and friends. What is most important is to have a happy, healthy baby.


Okay so I was on this Porn web site(I'm should not be on)and out of no were my computer told me that something had tryed to attack my computer...okay not tryed had. nad know it was trying get rid of it if I said okay. I tryed but my mouse would not let me. Then Norton said it had block the attack in the first place. that it never made it on my computer. But windows said it did attack and if I click okay it would get rid of it. The reason that I could not click because it had put writing were the okay was.Telling me more about it. this is my mom computer. I think I have get scared out of watching any more pron EVER but that still does not dell with the trouble at hand. my friend told my about the site and said never had anything bothered her. Because I could not click okay I just x out. But Norton said that everthing was fine Help

If what has happened is what I think has happened it will clear itself in about 72 hours. What got through Norton is a worm that is trying to get you to buy a program to clear viruses and malware.

Check Norton for up dates and then run a full scan. If this does not clear the problem you can call Norton for help. This happened to me and Norton installed new programs and cleared the worm.


Once when I was dancing to a song from a kids show, my mom came in and watched me. I wasn't doing anything but what the people from the show were doing (it was a Scooby Doo movie) and my mom told me I was dancing like a slut. What do I do to make her less mad at me. Because if I ever object at anything then she says she bets that if i ever were offered drugs, i would take them. She does an impression of me that sounds whiny and really really mean. I wouldn't do that but she doesn't seem to understand that.

She compares me to my "perfect" siblings and If they yell at me she always blames me for it.

My question is: what should I do to gain my mother's approval?

This is really a hard question to answer as there is too little information to go on. What I see is mom playing one child against the other, which to my mind is very wrong and can and will harm your relationship with your siblings well into adulthood.

You use the words; "my "perfect" siblings" in your letter. Do I take that to mean you are somewhat of a free spirit, the wild one of the siblings.

As a parent, depending on just how wild you may be, I see nothing wrong with being a free spirit. It is the free spirit, the non conformist that has proven to be the great discoveries of are past and present. I wouldn't want to totally stifle a free spirit. Though I would advice that as a young adult, under 18, there are times and places like it or not you must conform and perform to the rules in place. School is one of those places.

How mom equates dancing to a children's movie will make you a slut which by the way is a word I truly hate, is well beyond my realm of reason.

All I can advise you to do is to sit down with mom and try to have a talk with her. Tell her who this child of hers truly is. Tell her that you are more of a free spirit, if that is what you are, then your so called "perfect" siblings and why you feel this way. That being a free spirit will not make you a drug addict or anything else. Do some research if you want on some of the great discovers to find out what they were like and use that to prove your point if you want.

Will it help? I don't know, as I said I Would need more information then what you presented her. What it will do is make you feel better about yourself and that is my goal.


So I'm 17/F and the other night I was at a party on a college campus and it ended up ending a lot sooner than I thought. I was supposed to be spending the night with one of my friends but she went off with her boyfriend because they were in a big fight and basically ditched me... This guy that I kind of have been having a thing with that was there (we'll call him Matt: 19) was like "hey we can just chill in my car and figure it out" cause we were both too drunk to drive. So we're walking to his car and this dude starts yelling stuff at me and I don't really remember what he said lol but I think it was pretty sexual/rude cause it pissed Matt off and Matt was trying to start something with him cause he gets like that when he's drunk... anyway last thing I remember after that was sitting down on the sidewalk being really confused. I woke up in Matt's car but Matt wasn't there, neither were the keys, and the windows were down. I got pretty scared cause I didn't know where he was and I was just sitting in this open car in the middle of a college campus and Matt's phone was in the car so I didn't know what else to do but call one of my freinds Jake to come pick me up. He picks me up and since my friend ditched me and I couldn't go home I ended up having to spend the night at Jakes hous. Jake and I have a history of almost hooking up but never actually doing it and he has a girlfriend now so I knew we had to be extra careful and I was like, I'm not gonna hook up with him. But I was really drunk and so mad at Matt for just leaving me in his car (he ended up texting me saying he was fine and that he was just gonna spend the night in his car so I knew he was okay but I was pissed he had just left me like that). Anyway,I was upset and drunk and I didn't feel well so Jake layed me on his couch and started rubbing my back. He put my head in his lap (on a pillow) and kept going but started to go under my pants... he took my hand and held it for a little while then started moving it toward his penis. I don't know what I was thinking but when he pulled down his pants and put my head there I just started giving him a BJ... I had been going for a little bit and then I stopped and he was like "uh yeah, we prolly shouldn't finish that..." I was like "wtf Jake. why did I do that?" and he says "I don't know but it felt so good I couldn't stop you. If I were single we'd be up in my bed right now but damn..." he didn't even seem sorry, I felt worse than he did and he was comforting me. We agreed we could never tell anyone about it but I'm just freaking out. He wasn't even drunk and he initiated it but if anyone finds out, I'm gonna be the one that gets called a slut and what not. He's going to college in the fall and his gf is only gonna be a junior so he was gonna break up with her at the end of the summer anyway and I know everyone hates his girlfriend cause she's a total bitch but that doesn't make what I did any better and I just feel so awful... He doesn't even seem to feel bad but he doesn't want anyone to find out either. Im just so scared he's gonna tell her or something and he's gonna say my name and oh my gosh... please help!!!

First stop beating yourself up. Being drunk, we won't go into teenage during, which is wrong in the first place, you are legally unable to give consent to any sexual activity. The fact that you willing may have started to give him a blow job is not material. He is the one who was sober and took his pants off.

To be extremely technical in the legal sense, the fact that he took his pants off placing his penis near your mouth to receive a blowjob is rape. Rape as defined in this instance; "is the inability to consent." Since you were drunk the law says you are not able to consent. You may not see it that way, Jake may not see it that way though that is the way the law sees it.

Therefore it is in his best interest to keep his mouth shut about what happened. There is also a possible problem with statutory rape depending on your states laws on the age of consent. If you are under the age of consent in your state it would not matter if you consented or not. The state law says you are to young to consent if you are under whatever age they view as the age of consent.

You have no reason to feel badly about yourself. Jake took advantage of your drunken condition. When you realized what you were doing and stopped, Jake did not force you to continue. As I said it is in Jake's best interest for the next 5 years or so to keep his mouth shut or face going to jail for rape.

If you feel strongly enough that Jake may say something you may want to remind him that his loose lips could cost him as much as 20 years in Jail.

The purpose of drinking is not to get drunk. If you drink to get drunk or allow yourself to get drunk then you are a problem drinker. If you are a problem drinker you should not drink at all. If you feel you must drink to excess for any reason then I suggest you talk to the people at aa.


I was told to go to a website and enter my SS# to get my tax history or something to that sort. Where's the website that you enter a SS#?


Did not mean to make you feel stupid. We don't know you and you question was worded to make us feel we should error on the side of caution.

The only website that can legally use you social security # are the IRS and your States Comptroller. Any other use for asking for your ss# has to be in use for setting up a transaction account were reporting trans actions to either of the aforementioned are required.

To access either of these, for your own information can be done by going to their websites. As I said the IRS is http://www.irs.gov. You will need you use a search engine for your state comptroller or controller of the treasury . Both sites have menu's you can use to find the info I believe you are looking for.

Again. It was not our purpose to offend, only to insure your identification security and to hopefully answer your question.

Xenolan is correct do not go to any website where you are directed to by an unsolicited email. No agency needing your personal information would ever do that.

Now if by chance you need the information you speak of. The IRS website address is www.IRS.Gov. Once on this site there are different menus that you can use to find the information you are searching for.

If you don't need the information, disregard the email or contact your local police agency to see if they would like the email forwarded to them for investigation.


14/f. for about two months i have had these very tiny bumps on my neck.its not eczema becasue i've had it before and i know what it looks like and even had it on my neck before and its like a reddish rash. this is differnt because it is tiny bumps. and i popped some of them to see what it was hoping maybe it was pimples or something but when i popped some just a very tiny tiny ball of skin i guess, because i didnt know what it was. there was no puss like in a pimple or anything. and their not blackheads. i even tryed using st. ives apricot scrub which helped me get rid of some pimples i had but on my neck it didn't help at all. after that i tryed to put on some pimple cream even though their not pimples but just to help but it didnt help. :( iv'e been eating the same foods i always have so i dont know. and my mom wont take me to the doctor because she says we have no health insurance anymore. and makeup doesnt help. what should i use or do??thnks

I'm not a doctor either but what you are describing sounds a lot like something I recently went through. My doctor called it a grease bucket. It looks like a pimple with a rash. When it became infected is did squirt out some puss like material.

If I am correct and nothing say I am correct. It is something that will take medication and a doctors treatment to clear up. As a young teenager there are Federal Programs in place that will pay the costs for you to be seen and treated at your local hospital.

Whatever this rash/pimple is, if it is not being responsive to over the counter treatments then a doctors intervention is needed. The programs I speak of are strictly for children which even though you are a teenager/young adult. Under the law you are still a child. A family practitioner may not have access to these programs though your local hospital should.

Ask mom to take you to the local hospital emergency room Hospitals are requires to treat you when you show up at the ER. IF you are unable to pay they will bill the appropriate fund for payment.


Hi. I'm sorry if this gets lengthy. Most of it is venting. But, it will help you get a clearer picture. First let me point out that I am 21.I will be turning 22 soon. I am graduating from college this December with two Bachelors degrees and then going on to pursue a Master's. Most people tell me that they wish they had me as their daughter. I'm a very religious and spiritual person. I don't like to stay out too late unless something runs late, but not as a habit. Right now, I stopped working, because i had a part-time job, and since Im graduating college, I am ready to start on my career. However, I never ask my parents for money, unless it's for books for school or for gas, because I don't want to get stopped in the middle of the road.

I use to be very close with my mom. I use to tell her EVERYTHING. I think the problem was that I let her in a little too much, till I let her control me most of the time. I let her dress me however she wanted and I would wear whatever she told me to wear. I was such good friends with my mom, that I decided to stay here to pursue my undergraduate degree. Although my mom always told me what to wear and what to do, she seemed to have a pretty lenient side. On the other hand, she would let me go wherever I wanted and do whatever I wanted (within limits, I'm not saying that I was at a nightclub at 16. I'm just saying I had fun). She never told me I couldn't go to a party or anything like that, as long as she knew where it was. I think that the reason that we had this kind of relationship was because we had such good communication, which is great and rare during the adolescent period.

Moving on to something very personal. Being such a religious and spiritual person, it took a lot of thinking on what I felt would be right in terms of losing my virginity before marriage. I even talked to my mom about it! Letting her in on this very personal part of my life should be evidence that I keep very little from her. Yet, she's always accusing me of lying. The other day, I went to the zoo. Because I didn't take any pictures, she said she didn't believe I was at the zoo. Where does she think I was? Having sex?! If she already knows that I'm sexually active, would I not have just told her I was going to spend time alone with my boyfriend? It is irritating me more and more how she's always telling me what to do. And she is so childish about it, too. If I don't do what she says, such as wear the shoes that she wants me to, she will not speak to me for days.

No one in my family holds her accountable for her actions. They are always excusing her saying that she is "just nervous" or she has "been through a lot." Being though a lot is the following: her boyfriend died when she was 15. Her husband left her for another woman. She adopted a baby who died at birth. She adopted another baby (me), and I was a very sick child so she spent a lot of time at the hospital taking care of me. Now, I understand this is a lot. However, just 5 months ago, I lost my little cousin, to cancer, and he was the only person in this family who I was truly close to. She adopted me, but I found out I was adopted at 18 and she arranged a meeting to meet my bio. parents behind my back. She may have been taking care of me, but I was the sick one. Her husband may have left her, but I lost my first close boyfriend to drugs. So, I'm not trying to degrade her troubles. I'm just saying that I have had my share as well. And no one ever excuses me for ANYTHING. If I breathe to loud, they tell me.

My aunt was talking to me the other day about the argument I had with my mom because she wouldn't bring me a towel when I was in the bathroom and there were no towels. And as I mentioned, I'm adopted. And she tells me "you're mother gave you up because she wanted to. She didn't want you.' Then she calls my dad my "supposed father," because of the fact that I'm adopted. Then she proceeds to telling me that she's "glad" I'm here, and that I should feel lucky. I feel that this is extremely insulting.

My cousin (the brother of the one that passed away) treats me awful! He's only 26. He is a medical student. So, he, himself, is a student. And whenever I talk about my graduate programs or just intelligent conversations about psychology or sociology (my majors), they (him and my mom) just turn away like I'm some little kid who saw this information on Elmo. I feel horrible. They are like two little allies. She is always calling him and texting him to go out for dinner or whatever. And while their out, he starts texting me "when are you coming home?" super serious, like if he were my father. It disgusts me! Most of the time, when he's texting this, I'm at the library or my boyfriend's family's house playing board games. I've done nothing wrong and nothing to deserve this! I wish that I could work and move out. But, the only reason I can't is because since it is my last semester, I had to get those classes, and they were all scattered.

I try to get them to take me seriously. I am almost a college graduate with a respectable career. I am an adult. But, I am very small and I look very young. I am 4"11, very petite. And somehow, I think that there is an influence there. Maybe they can't get past my appearance. I don't know. And even if I did dress to try to look very old and professional, I shouldn't have to do that in my own home.


I have a cousin that is adopted. He was told of his adoption as were all of his young cousins, as soon as we were all old enough to understand once he was told of his adoption. He was told around his 5th birthday, celebrated on his adoption day two days after his birth, that would make me 7 when he I were told. He has had no interest in meeting his Bio parents. As far as he is concerned my Aunt and Uncle are his only parents. Why your mother did so behind you back totally escapes me. There is no reason to do so unless you have an interest in meeting them.

As for most of what you have written, you are right in that you are venting. There is not much you can do about most of it. Your cousin the soon to be doctor should learn to treat all people better if he wants to be a good doctor.

The things you are studying are just as important as the medicine he is studying and in someways heal better than medicine. You should tell him that sometime. Then stand back and watch him explode. You can laugh at him while he does but psychology or sociology sometimes do more to heal than medicine does. Its true and he won't like it. That and the fact with your PHD you will be addressed as Doctor as well.

If your mother can't see that you are a hard worker and well on your way to a great career then that is her problem and anyone else's that can't see it either.

As for being vertically challenge, I live near D.C. and we must be politically correct at all times(lol) so saying short is not correct. There is nothing you can do about that. A lot of great people who have been your height or shorter have made great contributions to society so don't let you height be a stigma as it truly is not and shouldn't be.

As for the rest. Your 22 and adult. You are not dependant on family, you are fairly self-sufficient and will soon be totally self-sufficient. My advice is to continue your education. Get your PHD as that is were the career respect is in your chosen fields. Go out and enjoy life as you have earned it. Grow a thicker skin to allow some of the remarks that are hurting you to bounce of. Remember the old saying. Sticks and stones may break my bonces but words hurt. A thicker skin will help against the hurt.

One day, probably in the not to distant future. They will realize what a great profession you have. What a great life you are building and what a great future you. By then, and this is up to you, it may be to late for them.


is it normal to be totally in smitten with your best friend but not want to be with him? I don't really believe in monogamy or traditional relationships. I have no desire to pursue that kind of thing, and sometimes I wonder if that means there's something really wrong with me. I don't know if I ever picture myself being someone's 'girlfriend' again.. the future could hold anything but my feelings would have to change greatly and it's definately not something that I can foresee right now. so I just have this great person, who everytime he visits (we grew up in the same town but he lives elsewhere now) we stay up all night talking and drinking and.. well, having sex of course, but that's not the point. long before we started having sex he would still make the three hour drive just to talk to me all night. I've never enjoyed someone's company so thoroughly as I do his.. I love him. but I think something inside me just doesn't work like other people, because I love him so much wouldn't mind at all for him to find a girl in his own city. he has enriched my life greatly and will probably continue to do so for as long as I know him.. which, if I have my say, will be forever.. but I feel no jealousy or sadness at the idea of him finding someone to settle into a relationship, if that's what he wanted. I want him to be happy, thats one of the things that makes me happiest in life. I know he sleeps around and in a weird way I almost encourage it because.. he just makes me feel so awesome. and bringing joy and optomism into somebodies life is such a beautiful gift. every girl deserves a guy like that :P I'm happy if when I'm not with him he's making somebody else feel that exact same way. he's such a good person and I love and admire the way he treats people, I actually find it inspiring. I watch him flirt with this one particular girl on facebook and I love the gentlemanly way in which he does it and how sincere he is. it reassures me that he really is a nice person, weirdly. I feel like it would be a horrible sin to try prevent him from just being him and doing whatever is natural for him, building whatever human connections he can. why is it that if we love someone, that somehow means that we get to lay claim over their physical person? 'I like this the best, so no one else can touch it now..' if you like something so much wouldn't you want to introduce everyone to it so everyone will see how great it is? why do we get so jealous, shouldn't you be worried about the quality of your own connection with your lover instead? what could be wrong with spreading love/friendship/positive energy? it seems so safe to me and yet.. I'm kinda worried. first of all, I'm worried that he'll change his mind and want to do the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing at some point. every guy I've ever hooked up with starts by agreeing he doesn't want a relationship and then it's always eventually the guy who becomes insecure (IMO) and starts wanting to define the relationship and like.. almost claim ownership. I hate that, it scares me. and my second, bigger worry is simply.. is there something weird about me? that I love him and want things to stay exactly like they are, forever, with no expectation of anything else? aren't you supposed to want to commit when you find someone you really love? sorry if this sounds silly I don't really know how to put it and it's my first time using this website. :)

You sound like you were born 40 years to late, a child of the 60's when love was free and marriage was not always in the picture.

I can't tell you why you don't want the little house with the white picket fence, children and a husband. That is something in your basic makeup that would take an exploration with a qualified psychologist to explore. Is something wrong with you? Not to my thinking. Not everyone is the square peg that fits into the square hole. Some of us are the round pegs that people try to force into the square holes.

I will say this; great marriages start out as great friendships first. The fact that he dates others and still makes the 3 hour drive to see you tells me he is hoping you will have a change of heart.

My son is seeing a girl a lot like you. He has a girl he is friendly with that he would dearly like to take their relationship to the next level. He can see them having a life together. She on the other hand has had a number of failed relationships and a huge family problem to take care of.

She has no problem with my son dating other women. She is happy with whatever amount of time he has to share with her. The funny thing about their relationship is they are ideal for each other. They love almost everything the other likes.

If my sons relationship sounds a lot like yours then my advise would be: To try going to the next level. But do so in a controlled manner. Meaning that both of you do so with eyes wide open for you don't want to ruin your friendship. Find a psychologist to work with who can help you sort through your issues and if it is not working will help you back down to the level you are presently at.

I'm sure if he is wanting to go to the next level he will be working to make it work. You are the one with issues here, nothing wrong with that. I think though before you let a great guy get away, since you are questioning if you are right or wrong. You need to make a qualified attempt at the next level.

With the help of a good therapist, and you may have to go through one or more to find one you are comfortable with; you will find and answer to your question.


I am 19 years old, female, from a family background of muslims (surprise, surprise).

I'm pretty much not allowed to wear what I want because everything I want to wear is considered inappropriate.

For example, yesterday I wanted to wear a skirt that is PAST knee-length, and only shows the lower shin area... which is half way to the knees. No big deal, right? Wrong! My mom just looked at me with this shocked look in her eyes, and said that we're going on a family picnic and that it's just not nice or appropriate.

And then she started drilling me on how my clothing is not appropriate or "long enough". She wants me to find tops that are like up to my knees. Like seriously? seriously?

And then she continues to tell me how my cousins also think my clothing is inappropriate as well since one of them called her and told her that I was wearing inappropriate clothing and that she did not feel comfortable.

And this cousin of mine wears a burqa that covers her face so clearly we both have different ideas on what is appropriate.

Last time, I went to a sleepover at her house. And when I got dressed to go to the mall, she started yelling at me for my clothing. I was wearing chiffon top with a tank top underneath, but from the back I guess the tank was low that you could see my bra straps so she started freaking out, and yelling at me. And telling me that what I'm wearing is not appropriate, and I can't wear what I want to because it's not appropriate, and that I'm at her house. And when I told her I was wearing a tank top underneath, she called me liar. Until I ripped it out from underneath to show her. Which actually made her shut up with an "Oh..."

Anyways, I'm angry, frustrated and really annoyed. I'm 19 years old, I think I'm old enough to make decisions on what I want to wear without having people attack me or belittle me because it's not up to their standards.

I usually don't say anything or argue back to my cousin out of respect, and because we're really close. But honestly now, I don't think I'm interested in having to deal with her. She's a total bitch in general, and starts arguments for no reason.

Anyways, for the future. Would it be better for me to confront her and tell her to back off and mind her own business?

Confrontation is never a good idea. In fact it is one of the few words I rarely use and recommend against using or doing so as nothing good comes from confronting someone.

You are correct in the thought that you are 19, legally and adult capable of making and following your own decisions. You are caught between family and religious beliefs and your rights as and adult.

In the USA and many other Western Countries, religious freedom and the right to chose is a basic right of the citizens. I would say to your cousin that I respect her rights to practice her faith and principals as she chooses and would ask that she allow me to practice or chose to follow what I believe is my inalienable right as a citizen of the country.

That when you are with her and other family you will try to dress as appropriately as you can so as not to not disrespect them or their beliefs. But you ask that they and she respect your right(S) to chose as is your right as a citizen and an adult.

She may see this as confrontational though I don't. It is not argumentative, it is simply and expression of your rights and desires as an adult women. She and other family members do not have to like how you dress, who you date, if you drive a car or anything else you may chose to do that you have a legal right to do.

What they should hopefully be willing to do, is respect your rights to do what you are legally allowed to do. You will respect their beliefs and customs even though you may not be practicing them.

I hope this helps.


Okay , so i was reading this article about this lady being pregnant and she is still a virgin , Is that really possible because i thought the hymen had to broken and the male has cum in you in order for you to actually become pregnant.

It is possible as the semen from the male only has to enter a vagina to make its way to an egg. This can happen in a variety of ways.

If the male ejaculates on or near a girls vagina it is possible for semen to enter. If a male or female ejaculates on to his or her hand and then fingers the girl semen transfer is possible.

It is also possible for the head of a penis to enter the vagina and not break the Hyman. While in the vagina a small amount of semen is emitted from the penis to act as a lubricant. The amount emitted has enough semen in it to impregnate a female.

I hope this answers your question.


hi ...i got married in 2011, after one year now i know that he is bisexual. i asked him when i got married whether he wae a gay..i dn't know but i some how felt so, but he managed me that nothing was wrong. after one year now i know that he is bisexual. i dn't know what to do... i love him a lot... but he did this to me. he says that he is committed to me and what ever he did was before our wedding. he had sexual relation with 50 guys it seems... for five years. i dn't know, i cant trust him... please help me....i feel like dieing.
im 26 years female, my husband is 27.

First thing you need to do is get both of you tested for STDs and HIV/AIDS. I'm sure once you have married if you are practicing safe sex it is more for birth control then disease prevention. Once you have the results of the tests you can make better decisions.

None of us can tell you what to do, only to advise you what we think and what we might do in your place. I believe it is, was, very wrong of your husband not to divulge his sexual past and preferences to you long before you accepted his marriage proposal.

His sexual preferences, together with the number of men he has had sex with, has placed you at great personal risk. To continue to keep you uninformed and practice his gay side increases that risk to you.

Had you known of his bi preferences prior to marriage would you still have married him? This is the first question you need to ask yourself. If the answer is no. Then the only direction I can see is divorce court as he has deceived you.

If the answer is yes with stipulations. Then those stipulations must be agreed to now. Whatever you may what from him in the way stipulations he must agree too.

You wrote that he said; "he is committed to me." He did not say nor does that mean he will give up his gay sex for you. Gay sex for a male is not just a matter of giving or receiving anal sex. If it were there are ways for you to satisfy both of those for him. Fact is it is a much different type of relationship. One which you will never be able to satisfy.

So even if he is willing to agree to whatever your stipulations may be. The next questions you need to answer for yourself is; "Can I trust him to live up to the stipulations?" Depending on your answer to this question is the answer to the question as to what direction you take with your marriage. Do you move forward or do you end the marriage?

You have one of the hardest decisions a married person ever has to make about their marriage. You've been lied to, miss lead and exposed to a great health risk. Is it possible to overcome all this and have a successful marriage? Only you can answer that question.

The only thing you must do now, today is get tested. If he refuses to be tested; then my advise is to move out, get tested and see a lawyer.


ok i'm 17 and i always told my parents i didn't want to date and they always told me to tell them when i wanted to start to date, so you know they can meet him an all. the problem is that i want to tell my mom because my parents are divorced and i trust my mom more but when i tried to tell my mom that this guy liked me and that i liked him too her reaction was happy only cause i told her i didn't want to date. so i had to lie because i was afraid pulse my mom has been feeling stressed with work and all the issues we have that i feel i shouldn't say anything but i feel bad for the guy i like hes very nice and is willing to meet my mom.its not his fault i'm too afraid to say anything! someone give me advice i dont know what to do....thanks

First I'm a parent old enough to be a grandparent.

If you were 14 or 15 I could understand your reluctance. Your 17 and it is about time you started dating. At 17 you are now mature enough to handle all of the different aspects of dating and if you plan on going away to college soon. You need the experience of dating while you still have the safety net of living at home. Call it dating with training wheels.

This is something we as parents understand. As much as mom may be stressed out with work and other things she is most likely anticipating you starting to date.

My advise is to make mom a nice cup of tee one night a sit down and talk with her. Tell her you have met a nice boy you would like to date. He would like to meet her before you two start dating. How and when is the best time for the 3 of you to get together to meet and talk. This would also be the time to ask mom if she has any dating advice for you.


I broke my parents knife set! The knives are all fine but the block is badly damaged! Where can I buy a wooden knife block online? I mean, they have had this knife set longer than they have had ME so I better have a plan by the time they get home from their trip and I have to tell them what happened. Help!

Look on the one of the knives. There should be some engraving or markings that will tell you who manufactures the knives. Then go on the Internet and search for that name. See if the company has a website and contact information.

Look for a customer service number and call them. Explain what has happened and tell them about the set, number of knives and any accessories. I'm sure if they have any knife blocks that fit that set they will sell you one or they may just send a replacement free of charge depending on how the one you damaged was damaged.

Don't despair too much these things happen. Knife blocks are generally made of wood and over the years the tend to dry out. If dropped for a counter they will crack. If that is what happened to you it could just as well happened to you mom or dad.

So to a search and make a call. If that doesn't work go to the mall and look at knife block sets in stores that sell them and find a set that is similar to the one you have. Then ask the store personnel to help you get a replacement block from that manufacturer.


I am 14 yr old girl and i have had sex. Over 13 guys have naked pictures of me. 5/13 were 18-20 yrs old. Am i concideres a whore.?

First I don't particularly like that word even for someone by definition who is one. Who to my mind is someone who walks the streets and gets paid for sex.

By your writing you are some one who is sexually promiscuous. This two is wrong for some one your age. I'm not a doctor and I certainly am not a psychologist but what I see is someone who is missing something in their life and trying to find it through sex. This is a very dangerous way to find whatever is missing in you life.

The people who are in possession of your naked pictures are in possession of child pornography since you are under 1q8. It matters not what their age is they can be prosecuted just for having them. Many states have enacted laws where you can be prosecuted for distribution for sending them. Child pornography, possession and distribution has become a zero tolerance offence. This is why social network websites such as Google and Facebook are working with the FBI and local law enforcement to track down those who send or post it over their websites in short you could go to reform school for sending these pictures to anyone and the others could join you or go to jail. So stop sending them.

You also have no control of these pictures once they leave your control . Years from now your own children could come across them on some porn site.

I've said I consider you sexually promiscuous. I don't know the reason for this but I can assume their is something missing from your life. Probably the type of love and affection you think you get from sex. At your age with the boys and men you are having sex with it is not love but lust and for the older ones it is a sick kind of lust to have sex with a child so much younger then them.

You need to stop this circle of destruction you are falling into before you are seriously hurt or some older man turns you out as a prostitute. Then you would be a whore.

If the problem is at home and you cannot go to one of your parents. Then please, please go to the nearest hospital emergency room and ask for help. They will help you and you do not have to worry about how to pay for it. You need to see a psychologist and find out what is missing and why you are having sex with so many men to find it.

You need to do this before you end up ruining your life for good, being hurt physically or even worse. No 14 year old girl should be having sex in the first place. If she is she should not be doing so with so many guys.


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