The object of my column will be to help you help yourself by pointing you in the right direction if I can or by supplying you with WEB resources you can use that will help you find the answers your looking for.



I need your guys' advice.

I am a college student always on the go. I am commuting to school four times a week and going to straight to work afterwards. I currently have a laptop (dell inspiron 1545 17 inch). And honestly, it is really heavy to carry around. Especially since I am taking four classes every day. I have to carry my textbooks and everything including my laptop.

I would also like to use it at work. I work with children and I don't want to be carrying around a 17in laptop around especially since we are constantly moving.

I am a little on the fence on buying it though. I know that it would make my life so much easier. I wouldn't have to carry my big laptop around to school and work and everywhere I go. But on the other hand, I know that probably as soon as I buy the iPad a new one would come out with better features.

So, what do you guys think?

Best Buy offers a plan where if you buy something today and an upgrade comes out tomorrow you can swap for the newer model. I am not quite sure how this works but you could investigate this and if it work for you then it solves your problem.

I believe Best Buy does have the Ipad 2 available for sale now. With Apple now offering Itextbooks your Ipad will replace all those textbooks you are carrying around. You will still need your lap top top to type and print some of your reports, though you will be able to leave it at home next to your printer.


I just turned 22 years old very devoted Muslim. I am married with a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often. I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age. This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice/

My parents sent me to this Quran boarding school for girls for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little (I was the only one accepted out of my family. my brothers and sisters leaned from the Mosque). I learned a lot. You see I lost my father when I was young (12 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister all younger than me.

But Abu, the school mater, that trained me—he and I were very close, even sexually in that school. It sounds strange but we kept it secret. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well –whatever. His wife was the one who gave me birth control pills to save my family and myself the shame. She said she did it for other girls to. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. We kept our sexual relationship till until my family moved to the UK. But this is a shameful thing in my past I don’t talk to people about it but now I have to because it is killing me inside. If my parents found out I would be dead DEAD. I learned ALOT about my body and sex and i am grateful to have learned these things from Abu. it was an amazing sexual experiuence over all. When I got married I lied to my husband like many of the girls I know to say I was a virgin. Otherwise I would never get married. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. When we see them as a family we just pretend this stuff never happened. I never bring it up and he or his wife never do. . I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with three children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”.

Her daughter, Cameron, my niece she is now in Jordan with my family and they are sending her to the same school to learn the Quran. Abu is still teaching there. My sister said it is best to not talk about it and let her experiernece life and sex and everything else like we did. My friends tell me to expose this man. It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other girls because of the shame factor. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. I respect him. Am I weird and crazy?? But I don’t know what to do because now Cameron is there and my family did not think twice about sending her to that school because it has such a good reputation. My American friends tell me to make my sister take Cameron out of that school as soon as yestersay. I feel so mistrable because of what they tell me I am wicked. But my experience was good over all at that school. But they make me feel horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am depressed about this. I really want Cameron to learn from this very good school and Abu, but I don’t know what to do!! Please help me from going crazy…I don’t know what to do..i need help to think about this.
PLEASE respond to jjordan2011@mail.com

Every culture sees things a bit differently then others. There may be a culture out there that what you experienced would be approving of what happened. The Muslim culture and the believers in the Quran are not among them.

As I understand the Quran. A women that has a sexual affair with a married man is subject to be stoned to death under Muslim laws that follow the Quran. I'm not aware if there is any penalty for a man taking advantage of a student in his charge under Muslim laws or the Laws that follow the Quran. I would suspect that a somewhat progressive country like Jordan would have laws to protect children from sexual abuse.

Your Aunt has sent her daughter to this mans school knowing full well what her daughter might be subject too. Is she doing so under duress to protect herself because family and her husband are saying her daughter must attend this school to learn the Quran. This is something I feel you must know and understand before you make any decision.

The right thing to do would be to expose what is happening at this school;. To do so, as I understand Muslim tradition, would place both you and your Aunt at risk for your own lives as well as your nieces if she has been soiled by this man.

He should be exposed for what he is; a child molester. No society approves of child molestation. Many if not all developed countries have strict laws against this with severe punishments for this crime.

I'm not sure where you live, if it is outside of Jordan in the US or Great Britain. If you are in either place you could contact either the US State Department Jordanian Desk or the British Foreign Office. You could tell them about this man. They may with the help of one of the UN Council protective bodies may be able to expose this person while protecting you and your Aunts identities,


#1 Not looking for a "Stop we can help you" Solution
#2 Not even sure if im going to go through with it.
(will know in about 2 weeks)
#3 -=Looking for fast painless ways to die.=- (not sure exactly how to get a real gun but im sure i could find a way.)
#4 Thanks ever so much!

Please no spam or #1 {Thanks}

There is a reason suicide is painful. To stop people from committing suicide who want a painless way to do so. Even if there was no one here would tell you, that is not what we do here. We are her to help make situations right, so that whatever is causing you to consider suicide can be fixed.

As a firefighter for over 35 years I can tell you I have never seen anyone commit suicide who did not have a pained expression on their face when we get to them. I wish Hollywood would portray suicide as it really is; painful and messy. Most times, even with a gun, the person only wounds themselves. Taking pills and booze is so painful that they end up calling for help. Not like on TV where they fall asleep peacefully.

What about the people you leave behind? What about their pain over loosing you? That is a pain that never goes away. A pain that is never answered for the question that is left behind.

You say in #2 your not even sure you are going through with this, that's good. Call this number 1-800-273-TALK. This is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. It is totally confidential. You do not even have to given them you name or location until or when you want to.

You have not said what the problem is only that something in the next two weeks will cause you to make up your mind. his means that whatever it is can or could be averted or fixed. The the hotline. These people are professionals. If anything can be fixed or averted they will know who you need to go to for help to correct whatever is going to happen to cause you to take such drastic action.

I know of nothing that can't be fix, modified, or eliminated as a problem, especially before it happens. All you need to do is find the right people or agency to help. So call the hotline, Please.


Okay so me and my boyfriend have snogged loads but I want to go further and so does he but how do I do it? I am 16

Your boyfriend may not really be ready to go to the next step. If he was ready the two of you would figure it out.

I'm not going to try and tell you how to take that next step for the reason stated above. At 16, while your physical bodies may be capable, you are not really mature enough to take on the responsibilities of that step. Full on adult sexual relations bring with it any number of responsibilities and concerns. Pregnancy and STDs are the number one concerns.

As the female you alone will bear the responsibility of pregnancy and what to do with a child. While birth control is the responsibility of both partners you are the one who will be come pregnant, so you have the vested interest in making sure you have the best protection. Condoms are only 85% effective at preventing pregnancy when worn correctly.

STDs are also the concerns of both partners. Once again condoms do not effectively prevent the transmission of all STDs. Even though you may both be virgins it does not mean one of you has not picked up an STD through non-sexual intercourse play with another partner. Have you two been tested?

The two of you are really too young to be engaging in full intercourse if that is your meaning. Sexual intercourse is truly a lovely thing for two adults to engage in and is worth waiting for. To try to engage in sexual intercourse as teenagers is fraught with so many problems it is not the pleasurable activity it should be. Nothing that you have to do in the back of cars or hidden from others can be.

While I will not tell you not to, I will ask you to consider that your question says one of you is not ready yet. This means you should wait until he is ready and not force him to do that for which he is not ready. To do so could force him away.


My little cousin, (11 F) is short, and she says her breasts hurt when something touches them. She is worried she has breast cancer, which I don't believe, and I can't remember what it was like when I was 11. Please help as soon as possible. Also, she is turning 12.

These are the type of questions and concerns a young girl should bring to her mother. These are the types of concerns as parents we need to know about so we can make sure our children are properly cared for and see a doctor when and if something needs to be seen by a doctor.

When a child starts through puberty be they male or female, their bodies experience many changes. The female body undergoes many more changes than the male body. Your moms have gone through this and know what you are feeling She can explain these things to you far better than someone else your age or somewhat older because as I said she went through this herself and she knows you far better than any of us. Remember she changed your diapers.

As you and your cousin go through puberty different things will happen that mom needs to know about so she can help you care for your self. This is not sex talk or any thing sexual. This is normal bodily functions. Just like say an earache or anything else you would have not problem telling mom about.

Tell you cousin she most likely does not have cancer. More than likely she is experiencing growing pains, which boys suffer from in other ways. If she is sensitive in her breast area now she may remain sensitive in her breast later as well. Something mom can help her with as well.

By the way dads know a lot about girl stuff too, after all we are married to women. So if mom isn't available when needed dad is always a good back up.


I've been thinking lately a lot about suicide. I have attempted it once, but ended up in the hospital, this happened a over a year ago. People said it'd get better, I've been trying really hard, but everything is just getting worse. I'm on meds, i have a doctor, therapist, and psychologist. I almost killed myself the other day, but failed because i was to scared. Now I'm thinking, maybe I should run away?

Hopefully the doctor prescribing medication is a psychiatrist. If not that is the first thing you need to have changed. Depression, which is what I believe you are suffering from is best treated by a psychiatrist. I know because I have suffered with depression for some time.

If you are being seen by a psychiatrist you need to call the doctor today, now, and make the doctor aware that you attempted suicide and failed. This is very important as the doctor may need to change your medication. You should also call your therapist and make the therapist aware that you are in trouble and in danger.

Running away is not the answer. You cannot run away from depression. Whatever is causing the depression will always be with you. By saying your thinking of running away I am hearing that it is possible that the problem that is causing your depression, in your mind, is something at home.

Have you told this to your doctor and therapist? If not you need to so they can help you and help rectify the problem. I know talking about certain things to strangers, even doctors, is hard. Just remember that anything you tell them and I mean anything no matter how hurtful or how embarrassing you believe it to be will never be told to anyone else.

Your doctor and especially your therapist are your confidants. Your therapist is the person you can tell anything to and they will not feel bad of you. They will help you work through any problem you may have.

The most important thing about working with a therapist is being comfortable with the therapist. Now I'm just guessing here; given that you are writing to us, you are a teenager. If you are working with a therapist who is between the ages of your parents age to your grandparents age, you may not be comfortable talking to that therapist. I understand this and you have every right to have a therapist and doctor you are comfortable with.

So what do you do. The answer is simple. If you are over 14 under Federal Law all you have to do is say something. Tell the Therapist, politely, that you would be more comfortable working with someone younger, someone who is not as old as your parents or grand parents. If they are good doctors and therapists they will understand. If you are more comfortable with a male or female says so as well.

When it comes to treatment for depression getting well is all about us. What we need to get well. I went through three therapists until I found one I was comfortable with. When I did I started to get better.


I guess about two days ago or something I discovered a feeling of a lump in my throat when I swallowed. It was at the top, back of my throat and I continuously swallowed and got it to the bottom of my throat but it wouldn't go any further. Then it came back up to the top....It's really annoying. It doesn't feel sharp or anything, just a mushy lump that doesn't want to move. I REALLLLY hope it's not a bug because that would descusting....oops I spelt that wrong...I think. Well, my mom said not to worry about it but that's what she says about everything so Help? THANKS!!!! :D

It may be nothing as mom says or it could be something as you may think it is. Like the others I'm not a doctor so I can't say.

Recently though I learned of a friend who ignored a lump at the back of his mouth/top of his throat and now faces surgery for its removal. My wife is also a survivor of Breast Cancer because of early intervention when she found a lump in her Breast.

While I do not wish to scare you and I'm 90% sure what you feel is nothing. I am 100% certain that you should see a doctor. Preferably and Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat specialist as they have the skills and training to properly see down your throat and evaluate what you are feeling.

My feeling is that there is no reason not to have certain things checked out. When it comes to lumps and bumps it is in your best interest to do so. If you have heath insurance the visit is covered. If you don't have health insurance you can go to a free clinic. As a child under 18 you can visit any hospital emergency room as there are federal programs to cover uninsured children's medical needs.

In fact if you are over 14, under a different federal law called HIPPA,you have medical privacy. Meaning you do not need parental permission to see a doctor and the doctor cannot tell anyone what they see you or treat you for without your consent. There are some exceptions such as things like surgery that might require parental permission; though the doctor will inform you of this before talking to your parents.

My advise is to see a doctor and have this thing checked out.


I used to be a stright A student but now I have c's and d's!!! My parents are thinking of putting me in a different school system and I met my BFF last year at this school, and so many other good friends and a boyfriend!!! I feel hopeless though. I studied for 3 hours on an english test last week and failed it!!! What the heck has happened to me?!? Has anyone out there gone through this? How can I do better? I want to do better and I will do anything to not leave my current school! Thanks...Btw Im a seventh grader

In the school system where I live 6, 7 & 8 grades are middle school grades. The 7th grade is a transitional year in the way teachers teach. They go from an elementary style where they actually instruct the class to a High School style where learning is left more to the student through reading, class and homework assignments. The teacher then discusses the assignment the next day answering questions.

If this is what is happening in your school you may be finding it harder to make that transition to this style of learning. Not all students are able to and require specialized instruction on how to do so. This is where the schools you see on advertised TV come in to help get better grades.

The one on one teaching methods they offer help you make that transition. They also test you to see if your reading ability is up to grade level. There are different ways students learn, which they test for as well. Some students need a teacher to actually stand in front of the class an teach. This is not done in high school as high school is preparing you for college and the way college courses are presented.

If you see anything like what is happening to you in what I have written then you need to talk to your parents. Teachers in public schools have to teach to the majority of their students. They will do their best to help a student who may not take to the class teaching style but they just don't have the time to give that student the help they need.

The school system can identify and help these students. It will take your parents talking to the teachers and the principal to have them evaluate you and get you that help.


I want to know that how can I keep my vagina clean.???? Its really hairy and smelly.. At the sex time I feel embarrass...

flare gave you the how to as far as caring for yourself. Before I add to what flare said and since you omitted your age; your question leads me to believe you may be on the younger side of teenage life. In which case I must advise in all good consciousness that you consider waiting until you are a much older teen before having sex.

The last thing you want as a young teenage girl is to get a reputation around school as being easy. They say girls can't keep a secret and are big gossips. Wrong; when it comes to sex boys have to tell there buds that they had sex. Their buds tell someone else and soon it is viral around school that you are easy. You may not be but that is the message that goes out. Then of course ther is pregnacy and STDs to worry about.

Now certain smells are natural and are found attractive to the opposite sex. Have you watch animals when they greet each other. The first thing they try to do is smell the nether region of the other animal. They do so because the scent tells them if they can mate with this animal. It is not much different with the human animal.

In our odors are something called pheromones (fer-moans). These are hormones or chemicals if you like that attract the opposite sex. While you may find them offensive to yourself, a male may find them extremely attactive. I do agree with flare that if the odor is foul smelling that you have your doctor check for infection. If the doctor says nothing is wrong and does not suggest anything to mask the odor then don't. Just follow the hygiene suggestions that flare gave you.


I've been having a problem now for the past 4 and a half years with 'all' of my joints. I have been to so many doctors. The entire test came back inconclusive of a diagnosis. The Rheumatologist that I saw did a complete urine analysis and it came back showing great volumes of calcium oxalate which explained cloudiness when I urinate. Now I have been seeing a bone surgeon who does not think it is serious because the MRI results that I did came back normal. He has recommended a physiotherapist. I have only been to 4 sessions. I have gotten worse as a result. My symptoms include a severe rush of cutting pain in the joints. It is as if there is sharp piece of bone that is cutting trough to the flesh. Then with this pain, comes instant immobility. There is a feeling as of something is going to snap or break. Also I have a lot of crack/pop in the joints mainly in the hips which are the worse part. The spine has swollen in the middle of my back a few times. I have sever muscle spasms especially in the toes when it is in water for some time or when i wear certain slippers. I am 27 yrs old and I can barely move around. Few months ago, a different Rheumatologist/Lupus expert, diagnosed me with Seronegative Spondyloarthropathy. After a month, I went back for a follow-up. She then gave me another full body examination. She was then concerned that I have fibromyalgia. But thinks something else may also be wrong, not ruling out Seron. Spondyloarthropathy at the same time. The only thing that doctor mention, along with my stated symptoms, was that the problem may be in my lumbar spine. During this time, she sent me to a spine doctor to examine my x-rays and to do a body she was not very sure about what was going on. She took me of of the anti-inflammatory medications since they were not working. To this day, I have so much pain and have to be using a walking stick to balance myself and to climb up stairs, etc. I still experience frequent muscle spasms in even more places and my swelling everyday in the muscles between my collar bone and shoulder. There is also swelling at the upper-middle part of my spine area each day. This caused it to be very difficult to bend over and move around without a pinching pain. I don’t have the means to go see a doctor now, as the expense is unattainable. What could be going on with me health, and could the doctor be correct with her diagnosis? (Lupus has been ruled out. Thyroid seemed normal)

I'm not a doctor so I can't make a diagnoses. I too have to deal with chronic pain although after many doctors I finally got a diagnoses of the cause. Only problem is my problem can't be corrected. So I have some inkling of what you are going through with finding a doctor to diagnose you.

Have you seen a Neurosurgeon? I thought the same thing you are now thinking. The problem is not in my brain. Neurosurgeons deal with the Spinal Column as they also deal with the spinal cord. Since your spinal column swelled at one time you have nothing to lose by adding one more doctor to the list. It was the neuroSurgeon who finally diagnosed me and then set up a course of treatments I still receive to day.

My problem was caused by an auto accident I was in and can't be corrected so I will suffer from chronic pain for the rest of my life. The Neurosurgeon sent me to a Pain Management Center where I receive treatment for the pain. This is another area of treatment you could investigate. Pain doctors can't correct the problem as they are anesthesiologists. What they may be able to do for you is to reduce or even eliminate the pain for you, making life more livable.

I hope this helps.


what are some cases of which money cant be a source of helping others

I'm a volunteer with the County Fire Department. This means I fight fires, pull broken bodies out of wrecked cars and provide emergency medical assistance all at no cost to those we serve.

Fact is no matter how much money a person has they all receive the same service. If two calls come in at the same time the dispatch center triage's the call. The most serious call is given to the closer station. The other call is given to the next closest station. It matters not which call is in the more affluent part of town.

Our job is to take a tragic situation and make it better. By making it better we are hopefully restoring happiness. No one can buy this service as it is a needs based service. The most needy come first though all are serviced. No calls for fire or medical service are ever put on hold but the most in need of a service gets the closest units regardless of their affluence.

I have over simplified how the fire service works. Fact is we never run out of resources. If we need more resources we have what is called a mutual aid pack with surrounding communities. Under this agreement if we need to we can dispatch units from another town or county if their equipment is closer to call then any units we may have available. No one is ever denied or asked to wait longer than is acceptable to standards for service.

Hope this helps.


i figured it out on christmas eve and even though i wasnt supposed to look through his text messages i did because i already had a bad feeling about it. in his inbox, all the mssages were from friends and workmates but in his sent items most messages were sent to an unknown number and they go like "are u wearing panties?" "where are you?" "im coming please reply" "are mad at me"
i think there were a lot more but i couldnt take reading em all anymore for i was shaking. i dont have respect for my father anymore. not one. :(((((((((

Okay, you went and snuck around until you found something you were not supposed to see. How sure are you that your dad is sneaking around on your mom. What other evidence do you have.

Have you ever heard of phone sex. Well to me what you have seen is very similar. It's called cyber-sex. It's very titillating but it is not cheating. If this is all the evidence you have then you are accusing your father of having nothing more than an over active libido.

Nature plays some strange tricks on us. Mom and dad are most likely at ages were their sex drives don't match. Moms is on a down slope as she approaches menopause and dads is on the upswing. If you have no other evidence than what you found in his email you may be wrongly accusing your dad of something that is nothing more than cyber-sex. A natural and safe outlet for his over active libido.

Before you go and do something you may regret make sure of what you think you know. He is still your father and he still loves you, I'm sure of that. Before you do anything to hurt yourself or your family make sure of your facts then triple check them.


I'm M/16. Recently I've been starting to believe that I'm crazy. Not crazy as in jumping ans screaming crazy but by the way I think about myself & others. It's like I analyse things in my head in such a weird way. I'll think something, then I'll think back to myself like, "What the hell is wrong with you" Then I'll do something like judge someone in my head, then I'll get mad at myself for thinking that. THEN I'm always thinking about myself sometimes. Like, in my head, I'll call myself a cocky bastard or something bad. Then next minute I'll like forgive myself and blame others. Then that'll make me feel horrible again. Its like I'm stuck in a cycle. One minute I'm motivated to do something, then I'll lose interest or feel there's no point anymore. And if someone says something good about me, I feel like they're wrong or that they shouldn't say it. I'm basically not doing what I need to do to get what I want. And mentally attacking myself because I can do it but I don't. Its like physical vs. mental.

As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I would say you are somewhat of a normal teenager. What is happening is puberty is attaching with a bit of a vengeance and the hormones being released are causing you to mature and see things differently than you may be use to.

If this bothers you or makes you feel strange then you might want to talk to a psychologist. I can't explain properly the way of what is happening to you other than this happens to some girls and boys during their teen age years. A psychologist has the training to help you understand this and deal with it better than I can in this method of communication.

So my advise is to talk to mom, dad or both. Let them know you would like to talk to a psychologist to better understand what is happening to you. You might also try talking to your school guidance counselor and see if the school psychologist might be available to talk with you.


My 11 year old sister(turning 12 next month) is 87 pounds, and kinda short, but getting taller. She keeps saying "I'm so fat! I want to lose weight!" She cuts herself now,(which I only know) and I think it's because she thinks she is fat. I try to tell her she isn't but she isn't listening. She says everything looks fat on her. Is she anerexic? My mom said she might have to be force fed in a hospital.

There is really not enough information in this question to say yes or no. At 87 pound, not knowing her height, she is probably within the right weight class for her age. I don't understand your mothers comment; "she might have to be force fed in a hospital?" Has your sister stopped eating or not eating proper meals?

Your sisters cutting of herself is a signal or a cry for attention. Something is bothering her. I can't say what it is. I'm not a doctor and I don't know her. Her cutting is dangerous. If she cuts in the wrong place or to deep she could bleed out before help arrives. If mom is not aware of her cutting you should tell her.

Your sisters fixation is a key element to anyone with an eating disorders. Anorexia is an extreme eating disorder one if not dealt with can be and is life threatening. Since you did not say how old you are the only advice I have for you is this: Be supportive to your sister and give her positive encouragement. Let mom know when you feel something your sister is doing is wrong. This is not tattling, this is helping. Helping mom be aware of what your sister is doing which might hurt here.


how can i fight temptation?

As with any type of temptation it takes will power. The power to walk away or in this case to say no. I'm not quite sure what you mean by; "temptation in girl and sex??." If you mean you are not ready for sex or you have religious reasons not to have sex before marriage. Then you have to have the power of your convictions to say no.

If your reason is on religious grounds and the girl is wanting sex, tell her. She should understand and respect your beliefs and not try to tease you to having sex with her. If your desires are getting in the way of your beliefs I might suggest you speak with your clergymen.

If your reasons for not having sex are for other reasons; well that is your right too. I would think that in this day an age a girl would respect a boy who wants to date her for reasons other than having sex with her. Most girls today believe that in order to keep a boyfriend they have to give them some type of sexual satisfaction. Knowing that your interests in them are for friendship and companionship should be a breath of fresh air for her.

Of course from the little you wrote I'm guessing here at exactly what you mean or what you are asking. If you write back and can be a little more explicit I might be able to give you a better answer. (you need to write a new question if you do. You can do so in a private question to me)

One other thing you can do is talk with your dad or even you mom about this. As someone old enough to be your grandfather I will tell you what I told my son.

Questions such as the one you asked are never embarrassing to me. Both me and his mother were always available to answer any question he had be it on sex or anything else that he may have to contend with. I'd rather answer a question on sex then have to deal with him getting a girl pregnant or him contracting and STD.

As parents we have all gone through being a teenager and young adult. There is nothing you will face that we haven't faced ourselves. We can help you if you ask the question.


I have always felt like killing myself I need help but don't want to talk to coucillers but actually someone who has felt the same,
I have a daughter but still feel like shit as soon as she's not around or asleep
My past experience are stoping me from being who I am and I need someone to tell about all the night mares and fears I have.
All the people around me try to remind mee about what's important but it's like
My brains dosnt connect like there please help or lead me the right way as I'm lost and sick of hearing the same answers I'm sick of everything I try so hard at just fucks up everyone I talk to says it's my fault
Please I need advise as I'm
Blaming exstictance on this problem
Also should a pretty girl in her early 20d shouldn't be angry all the time should they plead reply back at
Thank you

Suicide is not the answer. I was injured in an auto accident that left me with chronic pain suffering. For reasons I won't go into it was 2 years before I could see anyone who could get the pain under control. During that time there were times that the pain was so bad the thoughts of why suffer enters ones mind.

The injuries causing my pain are non correctable. I am considered disabled and have had to change my entire lifestyle. Now when I want to do anything I have to decide if what I want to do is worth the pain.

The hospital that treats my pain has what is called a pain management center. As a patient of the center I not only receive direct treatment for the pain. I also need to go to counseling to understand the pain cycle. Pain causes depression and depression causes pain.

Wanting to kill yourself is depression talking or showing itself, possibly postpartum depression. Depression is pain; maybe not the physical pain that I feel but pain none the less. You are in pain, maybe not physical pain but some type of mental anguish.

If you are suffering from postpartum depression, which can last a long time, or other type of non manic depression, there are medical treatments that will help you feel better. The medicine and Therapy with a qualified therapist will help. I've been there and I know. I also know that sometimes the first Therapist, or counselor you meet with is someone you are not comfortable with. This is okay it happens. I went through three different therapist until I found one I was comfortable with. Therapists are use to this. If your not comfortable with who you chose say so. They will help you find someone else to work with.

What is important with therapy is that you are comfortable with the therapist. You need to be so that you can be totally open with them. You need to know and trust that they will never reveal to anyone what is discussed in therapy. I am fortunate I found the lady I work with. Even though I am male I am more comfortable working with her than I was with the 2 males therapists I met with before her.

My advice: She your doctor and be screened for depression. Then follow the doctors advice on what treatment to get. If you ever feel you are going to hurt yourself or your baby you can either call 911 or this number 1-800-273-TALK. This number is for the National Suicide Hotline. It is open 24/7 and the people there will stay on the phone with you and help you to get help.


Hi I'm 16/f.

I get down a fair bit... I'm the worst I've felt for a long time right now :( the best week or so have been really low for me...

I work about 25-30 hours a week at the moment in a physically demanding job with long and late/early hours. I am in sixth form 5 days a week too for about the same amount of hours. A typical day for me starts at 6.45am and after commuting to college for 9am I don't get home until 10.30pm ish. it's exhausting, and I know that it's not good for me, but I like keeping busy. I don't eat properly (ready meals at work!) but I wouldn't say I'm unhealthy and I am a perfect (if not under) weight.

One of the reasons I like my job is that when I am doing physical work I'm distracted from feeling down. Don't like being alone for the same reasons.

Thing that bugs me is that I can't ever really say why I'm felling down, so if anyone ever notices I'm low then I couldn't say why, even if I wanted to.

I don't like going to college really, I feel like I'm just going for something to do, to go through the motions to please everyone else. Though I think I'd be more unhappy if I dropped out.

My periods come roughly every 8 weeks... Have done ever since I started about three years ago. Also I have really bad chest pain just recently.

Think that's everything... Anyone know how I can help myself?

What bothers me the most about what you have written are your chest pains. For someone your age, even with a physically demanding job, you should not be having chest pains. You need to see a doctor right away. I would even recommend going to a hospital emergency room if you cannot see your family doctor within the next day. Chest pains are not something to be ignored.

I'm not a doctor and I cannot make a diagnoses. What I can say is there are a variety of reasons for chest pains. Some of them are serious and need immediate intervention. Other reasons for chest pains could be your diet of ready made fast food. Only a doctor after examining you and doing do diligence in the examination can make that determination. Depression can also be a cause.

You also talk about being in college and being 16. Here in the US a 16 year old is still in Public School in what is called High School part of their primary Education. I'm guessing you live in England or Australia and College is the equivalent of our High School. If it is then I urge you not to drop out. You gain nothing and lose a lot by not getting a good primary eduction. Today's skilled labor jobs require good primary educations in order to operate the different machines and things required to do the work.

It is also important if possible to go on to what we call college which is what I believe you call university. The more and better education you have the more money you can earn in a lifetime. The present estimate is that with a college education (Uni for you) a person will earn over a million dollars more than without one. At preset exchange rates that is 1.5 million pounds sterling.

Now as for felling low. While you are at the doctor having your chest pains checked out. As the doctor to screen you for teenage depression. Teenage depression, which many years ago was called a phase children went through, is brought on by puberty, which you are in the middle of and stress. Given everything you have told us about a typical day for you I can see you have built up a stressful day for yourself. I would not be surprised if the doctor found you are suffering from some form of teenage depression.

Don't be concerned with the diagnoses as it is not all that scary or concerning. It is a medical not mental problem in that your body is not secreting enough of one or two hormones. A simple pill and stress reduction therapy usually is the answer.

First you need to see a doctor and get a proper diagnoses. I'm not a doctor; I'm making somewhat of guess. Only your or the hospital emergency doctor can properly diagnose you so get to the doctors ASAP.


I don't know how to re-write my question. No one could under stand what i was saying. And my question was deleted.Someone answered it thou. She or he ask me to re-write it. I was rushing and did not re-read was I said. Sorry. Thanks for answering.

Quick tip for writing a question.

In the title: In as few words as possible tell us what you need to know or ask us to answer.

Example: I'm being harassed at school.

Putting a good title as to what help you need will get you more help and helpful answers.

In the body of your question tell us what is happening to you. Keep it as short as you can. We do not need to know names. In this example just what is happening and who you may have gone to for help.

Then we can offer suggestions as to other people you can go to for help Use your best English and writing skills so that us older folks can understand you better.


Please help I'm only 11 (almost 12) and I DO NOT have my period yet but I noticed a breast lump and since I am young my breasts r still small but any ways I found a golf ball cut in half sized lump in BOTH my breasts (1 in each breast) in the direct middle of my breasts I'm soooo scared cause I think I may have breast cancer or some breast illness I told my mom too and I read a book about having lumps in breasts and saying that It was normal for young girls PLEASE HEELP!!!

First, relax the chances of this being cancer are really, really low. But you need to have the lumps checked out by family doctor and a Surgeon. A mammogram is in order so the doctors can visualize the lump to determine what and where it is.

My neighbor who when she was your age found similar lumps in her breasts. They turned out to be some very long word that means non-cancerous lumps. The doctors felt it was best to remove them so would not interfere in later years with breast development or milk production. She had what is called a lumpectomy to remove them.

When she finished maturing her breast grew to 36DD's. Which after her first child shrunk to a 34 B or C. Today she is 64 years old and the grandmother of 4. She has never had another problem with lumps in her breasts.

Now that is what happened to her. Everyone is different and everyone's problems will be different. You are young and the chances of Breast Cancer are so very slim you should not be so scared. You need to see your family doctor. Then have a Mammogram and see a surgeon to discus if they should be removed. This is something your parents are going to have to decide so talk to them and listen to the doctors.

The doctor will tell you if and when it is time to worry.


What to do with a gambler

The best thing you can do for a gambler is try to get them to go to Gamblers Anonymous. I've included a link to their website below. You can also call them at 1-888-GA=HELPS.

Gamblers Anonymous works much like Alcoholics Anonymous. For this to work the person has to be ready to stop gambling and want to quit. Generally speaking this means the person has to have hit bottom. Each person has their own bottom.

For my brother in-law, an alcoholic, it was waking up in the drunk tank. Today he is sober for over 20 years thanks to AA and the cop that arrested him who has also been his friend since the arrest.

The success rate of AA and GA is extremely high but only if the gambler or alcoholic is ready to stop. If they are ready this is the best advice I can offer.



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