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advice

Is it possible to end up with someone if it started out with sex?
I know it's always better and relationships work out better when you take it slow. But what if it was the total opposite? Do you think it could still work?

How you fall in love with someone is always different than how someone else falls in love with someone.

Having sex with someone is a very intimate act even when it does not involve a great deal of love. Through this intimate act love can flourish. I have heard of people who have been f*ck buddies that have fallen in love. Why? Well I believe that in order to be that intimate on that type of basis a friendship of sorts must exist.

Friendship first is the best way to form a relationship. From relationships love grows, long lasting love. The why of this is the superficial is set aside and we get to know the real person, the person below the exterior and we fall in love with the person mot the gift wrapping.

So my answer is a unqualified yes. My wife and I met, had really not much in common, had sex on the third date. We were married 41 years ago today.

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hey! how long the penis should be to make a perfect sex! or to make her gf feel good?


What you are born with is what you have. There is no way to enhance, or enlarge a penis even with surgery. Penile surgery is usually done to assist those with erectile dysfunction when there is no other medical solution that will help.

Average Vagina Size

Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch

Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches

As you can see by the size chart of the average female vagina. Any penis over 6 inches in length and 2 inches in girth is larger than the average vagina can easily accommodate. A larger penis will cause a woman with an average sized vagina pain during intercourse, especially if the male is not a thoughtful and considerate lover.

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well im a female, 18.
me and my boyfriend broke up around 3/4 days ago, well he ended it :'( he ended it cause he says he don t trust me any longer..
we were dating for like 1 year :(
the reason he ended it with me is because i forgot to mention one detail that happened to me when i was 14 ... he says he cant trust me anymore that im a liar.

well my point is , when a guy shows he doesnt care anymore , is that when he still cares the most?

+ im his first love, like inside me i know he cant forget me , and i honestly dont want to move on , when my heart feels something like this for him..
we all make mistakes and choices.
ah this is so harddd:'(

It would help to know what happened 4 years ago that would cause him to say he can't trust. You have been going out for only a year. Anything that happens prior to that is ancient history and frankly none of his business. You are dating, or were dating him and he should only be concerned with your relationship and trusting in and with him.

Frankly I think he is being rather shallow and immature. I really don't care what happened to you 4 years ago and that includes sexually. I would only care that you be true to me now.

If you would like to write me a private message with more detail as to what was so earth shattering as to cause him to break up with you; I may be able to give you more insight into your question. For now though I think he is being shallow and giving you an excuse for something else he wants .

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Ok so im a 16/m and I have been having these random erections out of nowhere. I mean my penis just rises out of nowhere for no reason.
Like I usually always be getting erections at school when im sitting down , and I ALWAYS get an erection when Im riding the bus and it doesnt go away untill after the end of my class or it usually just stays till lunch break, so that means I have to hold my bag on my penis when I walk (makes me feel awkward)
I dont even think about sex, and I dont even really care about the girls in my school. I hardly never get excited.
But my little friend in my pants usually always gets excited.

I need advice, How can I stop my erections from happening?

I'm old enough to be your grandfather so hopefully you will believe me. YOU ARE A NORMAL TEENAGE BOY SUFFERING THE PROBLEMS OF PUBERTY.

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Female. 18. Sometimes I will take in a quick breath and I will get a sharp pain in my chest, feels like my heart, but it will go away quickly. But right now I am having pain in my chest and shoulders. I hardly slept from it. It is more internal pain than anything else. Could this be anything serious? What is wrong with me?

PS. I have been around my grandpa, a smoker, all my life. He lost his battle with cancer in Feb.

Thank you.

If you are still having these pains pick up the phone and call 911.

Chest pain that extends into the arm and shoulder are not something to to brush off. None of us are doctors and we can't make a diagnoses. Only a doctor after using the proper diagnostic tests can tell you if you are having muscle spasm, anxiety attacks or something more serious.

For know though if in fact you are still suffer pain as you describe and shortness of breath call 911. A trained paramedic dispatched by 911 can make an initial evaluation and start treatment in the field as they transport you to the hospital. So please call 911 now.

If the pain has subsided for now and you are not having any trouble breathing; either call your family doctor or go to a walk-in clinic or hospital emergency room for an evaluation. This is not something to be put off to a more convenient time. Do it now.

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14/f
i dont have a phone.
ok, my mom will not get me a phone no matter what.
my b-day is on sunday, and i on the 4 of july my moms bfs phone got stolen so he bought a new phone then he says that another person can get a new phone for $50 so my mom starts complaining about her phone, before i sugest me get it, so jason gets her the phone now they are talking about getting my brother a new and expencive phone, but when i ask for a phone she simply says that we have no money, BUT MY MOM AND JASON AND MY BROTHER GET A NEW PHONE, and i get nothing.
i almost yelled at her today fixing to say that she has payed over $120 and she cant buy me a phone?!

im not sure i can hold my anger for more than two more days, i blow before then.
so please help i dont know what to do.
any advise will be very thankful!!

Can I make a small suggestion here.

Today is Wednesday,your birthday is Sunday, four days away. While I may be old fashion and feel a cell phone at 14 or 15 is not a necessity. It may just be that mom and her boyfriend are looking to surprise you on your birthday.

If you were to blow up at them on Friday wouldn't you feel awful foolish on Sunday if they hand you a phone. Or would you think your tirade on Friday forced them to get you your phone.

If I were your father and I had the phone hidden in the house someplace and you had a tirade because we gave your brother a phone and decided to wait until your up coming birthday to surprise you. The phone would be returned to the store and you would get some clothes if anything for your birthday.

My advise hang in there until you mother and her boyfriend do whatever they have planned to celebrate your birthday on Sunday.

Have a Happy Birthday

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I am 17, f and am moving into college August 25th. My mom has been begging me to get a job for a while, I have tried to only be turned down every time because I am not 18. Well, she just filled out an application for a job in my hometown and expects me to travel home on weekends to work if I get the job. I told her I don't think I can handle getting used to college life that quick, get good grades, make new friends and travel to and fro to go to work on weekends and I even told her that I don't think I would be able to come home that much because I have to keep a 3.0 to be able to stay in my major, yet she still filled out the application.. herself. I can't come home to work on weekends, while trying to do reading work or writing a paper. . I even told her that I will look for a job sophomore year so I will at least be used to college life then or even wait til second semester at school to get a job on campus. Granted, I don't even know if I will get the job or not but she's so stuck on me getting a job that she went as far as filling out an application.. for ME. What do I do?

Okay the additional information you provided makes more sense of things.

It is not in the job description of a daughter, younger or older than her siblings, to be the peace maker or arbitrator in the family. For mom to try and force you to come home so as to not have to suffer verbal abuse from your brother, or worse is wrong.

Your mother has options. If your brother is being verbally abusive, he is an adult know. She is no longer responsible for his well being. She can tell him to keep a civil tongue in his head and give her the respect she is entitled to as his mother or the door is over their don't let it hit him in the ass as he leaves. A little tough love never hurt anyone.

If he is being physically abusive to her tat is called elder abuse and has stiff legal consequences. Yes he is her son but she does not have to take physical or mental abuse from him. If I were you and in the position you your mother is trying to put you in. I would tell him. Your an adult responsible for your actions. I'm not going to baby sit you, it is not my job. Give mom the respect she reserves or move out. Touch her improperly and I will call the police and let them handle it. Getting my education and making something out of myself is more important than keeping you out of jail.

Tell him this. IF he doesn't get it. Call the police and let them handle it. This is truly not a problem for a younger sister to handle. By using tough love you just may save your brother from a life a pain ans misery.

Good luck





Wow. There is probably more to this than what you are writing here but lets work with what you have written.

Mom was not rude to fill out the job application for you she was plain wrong. In some job applications for certain jobs by signing your name to the application she not only committed forgery she committed perjury as well.

I agree with you that traveling back and forth from College each weekend for work at home is wrong to expect of you or require of you. There are demands that College life will place on you that will preclude you coming home every weekend and not just the social life of college.

By trying to force this job on you your mother is trying to force some type of control over you and your college life and freedom. This is the real story here. Why does mom feel she needs to have you home every weekend. I don't believe it is to have you working. There is another underlying reason that you either are not aware of or have not written about.

The first thing you need to do is call the place where mom filled out the application and explain to them your mother filled out the application without your knowledge. That you are not looking for employment with them and thank them for any consideration they may have given your application.

Next if you are truly unaware of why your mom wants you home every weekend then this is something you need to find out. Your 17 and even though you will be away at college you are still legally under age and subject to your mother, controlling ways and rules. Job or no job she could still insist you come home every weekend. You need to know why.

Now when you turn 18 you are legally free of this control. I say legally free for if mom is controlling the tuition purse strings then she can exert some control over you through the manipulation of the money. That plus the old saying when your home for the summer; If you live under my roof, you live by my rules regardless of your age.

So after apologizing to the place of application for mom applying for you. The next thing is to have a serious talk with mom. IF mom has suddenly turned into something she has not been before by trying to control you more than before you need to nip this in the bud or it will only get worse as you both get older.

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One day I was in the living room watching TV then all of a sudden out of the blue, I feel this weird pressure going in my ear. What is it, and what should I do.)

(I'm scarred!!)

None of us are doctors so we really can't say. There are a number of things that can cause this feeling. Many times it is a fleeting feeling and it goes away after a bit. Other times it will hang on for a time. When it does it can be anything from a clogged tube in your ear or a sinus condition. Many times these things clear with the help of over the counter medication. There is really nothing to be scared about until a doctor tells you differently.

I am going to assume you are a teenager so my advice is to tell mom or dad what is bothering you, which is what you should do any time your not feeling well. Whether the problem is with your ear or your toes or anywhere in between. As parents we are responsible for your well being.

As a parent I will get more mad at my children if they don't come to me when not feeling well then if they fake an illness to get out of going someplace they need to go or from doing something they need to do. This goes just as much for female reproductive systems complaints. Not Every pain you feel in your reproductive system has to do with sex and if you are still a virgin then it can't have anything to do with sex so come tell us if there is a problem. end of lecture.

Tell mom or dad about the pressure in your ear. Let them decide if you need to see a doctor. Frankly you probably at worst have an ear infection. Something you may have had plenty of as an infant.

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14/f
Saturday night I was at my younger cousin's birthday party and after most everybody had left, some of my family were sitting out on the back patio on a couch. One of my uncles was sitting next to me and all of a sudden while he was drinking, he put his legs in my lap. I moved away a little and he ended up just resting his feet against my leg. I didn't think too much of it until he started rubbing his foot against my leg and started to pull my dress back a little. But I couldn't tell if it was done subconsciously or not. And then later, more people came out so we all had to squeeze together on the couch. He had his hand out behind my neck and kind of stroked my neck a little. Is this normal? I mean, I'm not really close to any of my uncles and none of them are as "hands on" (like putting arm in a hug) like he is. I feel kinda uncomfortable around him sometimes, even though I know that he loves my aunt and wouldn't do anything stupid or inappropriate to me. But I still have that weird little feeling in the back of my head. I honestly can't tell if it's bad or if I'm just being paranoid.

Being a huggy feely touchy type is one thing. Pushing your dress up your leg is something else altogether. If you want to chalk it up to his drinking that is up to you but I would go with your feeling that it was wrong of him to do so drunk or sober.

My Uncle, my mothers brother, really loved all his nieces and nephews. Whenever we saw him we could expect big hugs and kisses even in to our adult ages. This was normal for him and we all accepted it and looked forward to it. From what you have written you are not close to your Uncle and you do not have the touchy feely relationship my cousins and I had with my Uncle.

I would say you have every right to be upset and concerned with this event and want to make sure it doesn't happen again. I would suggest you say something to mom and dad about it. Let them know it made you feel uncomfortable and that you would not like it to happen again.

It is possible mom and dad will say something to the effect your Uncle was drunk and just let it go. If so you can do as they say and should it ever happen again scream in your loudest voice UNCLE BILL STOP TOUCHING ME.

The other thing you can do is call the following organization for advice. They are called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. In a very technical sense by touching you in the manner he did without your permission, your Uncle abused you. Giving RAIN a call and speaking with one of their volunteers they can advise you how best to handle this situation and future situations should it happen again. Their number is:1-800-656-HOPE. This is a 24/7 hotline.

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hello,am from iraq,i just wanna ask about having sex for the first time!! will i get hurt?

Being from Iraq you need to wait until you are married before you have sex. Your country has not yet progressed to the point where women have the same sexual freedom(s) women have in western countries.

On your wedding night when your husband first enters your vagina it will hurt for a moment when he ruptures your Hymen. If he is a large man, his penis, he will also be stretching your vagina some which will be uncomfortable until your vagina relaxes and stretches to accept him comfortably. If you husband is a loving man he will be gentle and you will be loved and he will be patient. The pain you feel will pass and the sex will be loving.

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I'm going to be starting college this fall and have been comparing and pricing out laptops. I would love to get a macbook, but with everything that goes into it i can't afford it. Which laptops/laptop brand are most reliable?
I was looking at the HP intel core processor pavillion laptop, would this be a good choice?
I'm looking for something to of course have all the basics, i am undecided about my field of study and there is a possibility i may go into design. Something that would display photos clearly and be able to handle photo editing software. Also i would like to edit videos on here, as i edit both film ans photos. I am also checking into the ventilation of the system to make sure it won't overheat easily.
Any suggestions would be wonderful! Thanks :D

I have had nothing but Dell laptops and Desk tops without a bit of trouble. They offer most everything I have ever wanted when I've wanted one.

What I like most about Dell is when I need a computer I call them and talk with a sales tech to build what I want. When I say build what I want it is not that what I need requires a custom build. Generally I get a stock unit with additions and it ships with in a week.

Since I generally wear out a computer within 3 to 4 years and technology has passed me by as well, I take an in home service contract with the purchase. Then if anything does go wrong they come to me to fix it. Of all the computers I have bought in 20 years I have used the service contract once and had them do some software upgrades on line numerous times.

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I want to know because im 17 and i in love with a girl but im a girl how do i ask her to have sex with me?please tell me

At 17 you should by now be well aware of your sexual identity. There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. Your sexual make up is encoded in your DNA. You had no more choice in your sexual make up than the sex you were born as or the color of your eyes. So you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Embrace who you are and enjoy your life.

As to your friend. I would suggest that it might be appropriate to come out and tell her your a lesbian. Tell her that as your friend you wanted her to know so see didn't need to wonder or be concerned that you might come on to her. Also you are open to answering any questions she may have. Assure her, even though you want to have a sexual relationship with her,(you don't tell her that) that you will not try to seduce her.

If she is bi or a lesbian herself you have given her the opportunity to tell you and then the two of you can, if you both desire, to move forward into a sexual relationship.

If you value her friendship do not try to seduce her. Any furthering of the relationship into a sexual relationship has to be first on her terms after you come out to her.

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im 9 years and want to know how to get him to touch my boobs im 100% sure i want to please tell me im in love pluse my boobs are big and sexy!!!!!so please help

First: At 9 years of age you should not even be thinking about boys and getting boys to touch your breasts. You should be playing with dolls and doing other 9 year old appropriate things.

Second: At nine years old boys in general still think girls are yucky. It will be at least 3 to 6 years before most boys are even into holding hands let a lone feeling a girls breast.

There will become a time when it will be appropriate to allow a boy to touch you in different places. That won't happen until you are older and more mature, in about 6 years or so.

Allowing boys to touch in places that shouldn't be will give you a reputation in school you will deeply regret.

Please re think seeking to get a boy to touch your breasts and talk to mom about this. You are way to young to be having these thoughts. They are probably they result of puberty and hormones which mom can help you deal with.

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I really want to learn to be an actress to see if I want to pursue acting, can somebody give me some tips/advice or a book(or website) that teach me a bit about acting? BTW, I don't have much experience with acting.

You don't say how old you are so for the purpose of answering you I will assume you are still of high school age.

Start by joining the drama club in school. This is a great way to get some basic experience in acting. If your community has a local theater club you should talk with them as well and see if you can join them to get some experience.

You need to do this for if you want to get in to an acting school such as the New Your School of Drama and acting? You need to have some background to show them and to have built some skill level to build on with them. You will have audition to join the school.

After high school you will want to follow a dual course. If you are fortunate enough to audition for and be accepted to a good acting school that would be great. Plan on not being accept the first time you audition. Plan on going to college and majoring in Drama. Then after each year you can audition again for the acting school of your choice to show them how you have improved.

Hopefully you will gain acceptance and you then can build the career you are looking for.

Good luck.

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Hi, I'm 19/f

my whole life, I have been to maybe 5 different churches, and for some reason, I just feel as if church isn't for me. I find it very boring.

I believe in God to the fullest, but sometimes I have my questions, and of course, everyone's answers are going to be different depending on their beliefs.

But within the 5 churches I have been too, I have got many different answers regarding the following question:

DO YOU HAVE TO BE BAPTISED TO GO TO HEAVEN?

I have heard, Yes, you do; and I have heard no you don't, as long as you believe you have a right into God's Kingdom.

Personally, I believe that IF God is as mightly and loving as others make him out to be, than shouldn't he know who believes in him, and who doesn't? Why does baptism give you the pass to Heaven? Why can't believing just be enough??

I have never been baptised, but I have been saved. I pray to God; not just when I want something, but to let him know that I appreciate the things he has given me, and letting me live another day.


Everyone tells me to 'read the bible' but personally, I don't want too. How did God write the bible when he didn't have anything to use? Idk where it came from, who really wrote it, or even if it is true.

Is it wrong for me to have all these questions and these doubts? Does that make me a non believer?

My father told me to talk to a priest, but honestly, I won't get a solid answer, and I feel as if I'll be wasting my time. No one knows the REAL truth about any of it.

Sometimes I question if there is a Heaven or a Hell. How do we really know if they are real; has anyone died and came back and said, 'Man, Heaven is amazing; or Hell is hot as fire!"


I feel so guilty questioning this- but I'm just curious.


SOrry for the length.

This question is going to get you a lot of different answers as religion is a very personal subject. If ever there is one subject that will start a heated conversation, even among friends it is religion.

I am what is called an Agnostic; someone that believes in a higher power, we will call that power a god for lack of a better term, but does not believe in organized religion. I was raised in a faith that does not believe in a heaven or hell so I really have no idea if there is such places.

My faith in organized religion was destroyed long ago when I was still a teenager. I see organized religion as a business with a profit and loss ledger. Yes, some churches, Mosques & Temples do to good work with in their communities helping the sick and the disadvantaged. On the whole though they are still a business. At least that is the way I see them.

I believe as a people we need a belief in a high power to exist to thank or to blame for whatever happens here on earth. To a certain extent I believe that this higher power is responsible for a lot that has unfolded for we as man are really are not capable of some of the things we have accomplished.

So to answer your question: You wish to believe in god and say you have been saved. That is your right and you find comfort in this. You don't need to read the Bible to believe or to have faith. Neither to my mind does one need to be Baptised I see that as mans not gods requirement.

As for their being a Heaven or hell. Frankly none of us will ever know for sure until we get to either one ourselves. When that happens their is no way to send a message back to say if it does exist. So belief is blind faith an option of your individual choosing.

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Hi Dr,
I'm 30 years old I have a daughter of 4 years old. Now Im pregnent but as we donot need a child due to which I had contraceptive pill after intercourse but still Im pregnent and Im very much scared if I go for the second child will the child b healthy? Will there b any complication with the child?? Shall I go for the second child or not. Please advice me and its very urgent.

Shwetha

Your question does not read very well. What I believe you are asking is answered as follows.

First, We are not doctors and we cannot answer questions like this even if we were. This type of question requires a doctors examination so that you can be properly informed about the condition of your pregnancy.

If your asking if you should terminate your pregnancy because you took the plan B pill after intercourse and it did not work? Again this is a question for a qualified doctor to answer.

Whether or not to terminate a pregnancy is a very personal choice. One which you and possibly your spouse or significant other should make together. As to the pros and cons of abortion I am a pro choice supporter. It is your body, your choice.

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i live in aurora colorado

You are not ready emotionally or physically for sex of any type. You may be going through puberty and having your period. That does not mean the rest of your reproductive system is ready for intercourse.

Sex is not a contact sport that you play at. Participating in sex without the proper precautions and proper, call it preparation, can have life long adverse effects on you, not the boy.

While being 12 is a long time ago for me. One of things I do remember is that for the majority of us the subject of sex was more talk than action. About 99% was talk and 1% was action. Of the 1% that was action few of us actually had intercourse with anyone. So don't trust what your friends are saying. Some of it or most of it is being said to get someone else to do it first.

Your virginity is the most precious gift you can give to someone and you can only give it once. I'm not saying you should save it for your wedding night, although that would be nice.

What I am saying is over the next 4 or 5 years as a normal teenage girl you will go through a number of boyfriends, this is normal. Save your virginity until your older and you find someone you will be in a long term loving relationship with. This may sound old school but trust me. You will feel better about yourself if you do and you will have a much better sexual relationship with him and anyone else who might come after him.

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I am an 18 year female. Girl on girl action is so sexy and I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Basically, I want to fool around with another girl, but I don't want everyone to know. Also, I don't just wanna go up to random chick, hit on her and have her be totally straight. Craigslist ads are way too shady, so please don't suggest that. Any ideas on how to find a hookup?

Braiden is right, stay away from Craigslist you can only get hurt using that list and I think you will be more comfortable with a friend or a friend of a friend. You would be surprised with the number of people, especially women who may be bi or bi curious.

I'm not sure if it the fact that porn movies always have a lesbian scene or the fact that guys get really turned on watching two women go at it; it just seems more women are bi or bi curious then men.

I would suggest as Braiden has that you simply ask a friend if they know of anyone that is bi, bi curious or even a lesbian. If asked why you could simply say that you don't think you have ever met someone who is or you can say you have been wondering about bi sexuality and wanted to talk to someone who has tried it.

Frankly their is nothing wrong with bi sexuality. Whatever happens sexually between two consenting adults is no ones business but theirs. The operative word here is CONSENTING. As long as you both are consenting how cares what anyone else thinks.

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I hit the iner side of my knee on my steps and im having trouble bending it all the way. I can walk and put weight on it with no pain but if I try to bend it to walk up or down steps there is pain. I can only bend it about half the way as normal. Its been over a week like this. Is there anything I can do at home? I have no haelth insurence and cant take time off work. what are the poosible things that could be wrong with my knee? thanx

We are not doctors even if we were we cannot diagnose something like this over the web. To make a proper diagnoses X rays are needed or even an MRI to see exactly what has been damaged.

One would think you would not do very much damage by just hitting you knee on the steps. Sometimes all it takes is hitting it in just the right place and you cause damage.

What I recommend is after work you go to your local hospital ER, they cannot turn you away for lack of ability to pay. They must treat you first. There are social programs out their that they can refer you to to assist with payment. The hospital social worker will assist with this. First things first you must be diagnosed and treated.

Don't let your pride get in the way of getting treatment for this injury. While you probably have not done anything serious to your knee it will take diagnostic tools to confirm that. Left untreated you'll never know for sure. If you have done something to your knee the sooner it is treated the better the outcome. In injured joint left untreated will cause you got problems as you get older so swallow your pride and go to a hospital ER and ask for help.

By the way if you do not want to accept medicaid most hospitals will set up an easy payment plan.

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hi i asked a question called how to make a plush doll of singer not too long ago and i waited for an answer but there was no answer at all so can yall please answer it later thank you

I don't have an answer for this question that is why I didn't answer. If it was on the open forum and no one answered then then no one else has an answer either.

Unfortunately we do not always have the answer to all questions. I suggest you put the question on the open forum again. Not all advisers check the forum daily. Maybe someone will see it today or tomorrow and answer you. If after 3 days you don't get an answer then assume no one who saw your question had an answer for you.

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