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Coming out to my parents
So, my mother and father are both homophobes, which sucks seeing as though I have the keenest interest in girls. I am 17 years old, and live with both parents. I am unsure of how to come out to them, and would love some advice. Thanks, xx.
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Hey! I'm bisexual and transgender, and my best friend of thirteen years is from a strict Catholic family. I haven't come out to her yet, and I don't know if I will for a long time. . . I can only imagine what it must be like for you, since you're living under the same roof with two homophobic parents.
Do you think it would be safe to come out to them while you're still living with them? If not, I would wait until you can move out before coming out to them. But if you do think it may be safe to come out to them, you could drop hints to them first. Maybe bring up some LGBT issues with them and see how they react, or maybe wear a rainbow bracelet or the like.
When you feel ready, you could sit down with one of them and calmly explain that you have known for a while now that you're gay, and explain that you still love them and did not choose to be this way. If having a face-to-face conversation is too difficult, you can come out to them in a letter -- whichever way is most comfortable for you.
Are your parents homophobic because of their religious beliefs? If so, I think this article will help:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Would you prefer to write a letter or email to them rather than have a face-to-face conversation? Then check out this article:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
This article has some good tips on how to deal with homophobic parents in general:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope everything goes well for you and I hope this helped. :)
~ Kyler ♡
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The best advice I can give you is to bite the bullet so to speak and come straight out with it. I would start with your mom first. You would be surprised how much mom knows but doesn't say. I would guess mom already knows or surmises already that you are Lesbian. She is probably just waiting for you to say something rather than to come to you and ask you.
I have also found that some of the biggest homophobes quickly change when they find that their child is Gay or Lesbian. This is not always the case but the odds are in your favor that you parents at the very least will accept your life style.
You may have to do a little educating by impressing upon them this one fact. That your sexuality is not a choice; this is how you were born and has nothing to do with them. You may want to gather some literature to support this which there is plenty of materiel available from LGTB and GLAAD if you need or want some.
Depending on how ingrained their homophobia is you may need supporting evidence to change their mind. Once again statistics are in your favor that they will at the very least be accepting of you once you tell them.
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Have you got a friend you can tell? Getting this off your chest would be good otherwise you might get stressed and that can lead to medical issues.
If feel you can't tell a friend have got another family member you can tell? If you're in some form of education there might be system that you can go through for support. Although i'm not entirely sure about the relationship you have with your parents if they have supported you in other things they will try to support you in this, however it might be awkward for them they might just need time.
Good luck with everything and let us know hoq everything goes.
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