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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

So my boyfriend & I recently discovered we both had chlyamdia. I got it cured. But my boyfriend on the other hand, hasn't yet. He went but they sent him somewhere else, anyways we were messing around we been using condoms since we found out but I was messing around & I was teasing him & didn't think anything of it but I just licked the top of his dick (the head) & just remembered you can get chlymadia through oral. I didn't think about it, but it was literally just a lick. Not a suck or anything. One lick! Lol he didn't cum or anything. Is there a chance I have a chlymadia? Please answer asap!

Short answer to your question; based on the facts below from the CDC it is very possible to have been re-infected. Chlamydia is also known as the ping pong disease as it is easily passed back and forth if both partners are not cured.

The following is taken directly from the Center for Disease Control (CDC).

How is chlamydia spread?

You can get chlamydia by having anal, vaginal, or oral sex with someone who has chlamydia.

If your sex partner is male you can still get chlamydia even if he does not ejaculate (cum).

If you've had chlamydia and were treated in the past, you can still get infected again if you have unprotected sex with someone who has chlamydia.

Am I at risk for chlamydia?

Anyone who has sex can get chlamydia through unprotected anal, vaginal, or oral sex. However, sexually active young people are at a higher risk of getting chlamydia. This is due to behaviors and biological factors common among young people. Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are also at risk since chlamydia can be spread through oral and anal sex.

Have an honest and open talk with your healthcare provider and ask whether you should be tested for chlamydia or other STDs. If you are a sexually active woman aged 25 years or younger, you should get a test for chlamydia every year. Gay, bisexual, and men who have sex with men; as well as pregnant women should also be tested for chlamydia.

To see the full CDC Fact Sheet use the following Link: http://www.cdc.gov/std/Chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm

i am a 21 year old male. decently sexually active. i have a odd problem that i tried searching online and cant seem to find anything on it. when i was younger maybe like 15-17 when i would masturbate or have sex when i would ejaculate it would seem like all the cum would not come out if i like squeezed and pushed up some more would come out or if i went and peed right after a couple chunks of sperm would come out. well sometimes if i didnt get it all out i would get this werid feeling in my penis like in my urethra i guess the best description of the feeling/pain would be the feeling if circulation was cut off to something like if you cut the circulation to your finger off thats what its like ( for guys out there you know how you can move your penis without touching it if you kinda pull up with your muscles like in the middle under your testicles) thats when yoi can feel the pain its werid. so like if i got those pieces of cum out i was fine if i didnt its like the circulation was off and thats when that feeling is there its like in the urethra and head of penis. well now that im older 21..i still get that but if i try peeing no pieces come out after. some times im fine sometimes it has that feeling and it like hurts. some days ill pee out old dry cum from a day ago or so. i honestly dont know what it is. that area between balls and butt is tight and hard usually. i know my prostate i swollen now and is quite often i dont know if that can cause it but i really want to know! thanks

I won't even begin to speculate what your problem is other than to say you have a problem that requires a doctor's attention. Most likely you need to see a urologist as this is the doctor that would specialize in problems in the urinary tract area.

I think it is safe to say we have all, especially in our younger days, had the problems you speak of with clearing some un-ejaculated ejaculate from the urinary tract. what you are now talking about sound more serious. Just how much more serious I don't know but if you feel your prostate is swollen then it needs to be checked out for that alone could be serious.

I would suggest you don't let the grass grow under your feet in seeing a Urinary specialist, especially if you wish to father children some day.

I'm a 14 year old girl, I haven't been diagnosed with depression but it's kinda obvious....
Before Christmas 2013 I started cutting because I was upset about my life at home, my dad was a control freak and wouldn't let me go anywhere or even be with one of my best friends just because she said something he didn't like a while ago. I got so frustrated and sad that I didn't know wheat else to do, after about 2months my parents found out.. They did try to help me by asking what I wanted to change but I know it really hurt them that they knew what I was doing to myself and that I was so upset. I stopped for about a month and then it got worse, all because I fell in love with this boy and we didn't work out the way I wanted it to.. Still today I'm always feeling sad and even if I do manage to be happy it doesn't last long! I always find myself listening to depressi music such a 'London grammar' or 'bring me the horizon' I just like that sort of stuff and I go on my iPad every night on we heart it and that really doesn't help but I like reading that stuff...
I wouldn't say I'm suicidal, I don't think I could bring myself to do it but if there were to be a car coming and I was stood in the road I'm not to sure if I would move?
I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to be in love with that boy anymore as he flirts with everyone and he hurt me emotionally.
I want to be happy again, I wouldn't mind going to see someone for help but without my parents knowing! I don't want them to know that I'm still like this, they didn't help me last time and I'm too scared to ask for help this time.
Thanks.

Once upon a time, don't you just hate it when people start a response like that, back in the dark ages of your parents and grandparents teenage years did not see what you are going through as depression. It was seen as a phase that many young people went through and would grow out of. It was seen as a response to the hormones of puberty.

At the time they were partly correct. Today medical science knows better, teenagers do get depressed partly because of the bodies reaction to the hormones of puberty and partly to environmental factors. Now that doctors recognize this there are ways for them to help teenagers effect in this manner and they have even given this illness a name. The diagnoses is called teenage Depression, a form of clinical depression brought on by what another advisor called the happy hormones.

You really need to be properly diagnosed which is something your family doctor can do. Diagnosing is simple and painless as the doctor will ask you a number of questions by which he or she will make a diagnoses. The doctor will also want to do a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for why you feel as you do. The doctor will then either prescribe medication or refer you to another doctor.

So the first thing to do is to ask to see your family doctor. Ask the doctor to screen you for depression. When the doctor asks why tell him or her what you wrote us. You are by law old enough to make your own doctors appointments for certain types of exams and a complete physical is one of them. Since you live at home a controlling family may make this hard to do.

IF you cannot or are not allowed to see a doctor then what I suggest is you speak with a trusted teach, your principal or another adult you trust. Your teacher or principal after hearing what you have written and showing them the scars of your cutting are required to step in and help by contacting the right agencies to see to your safety.

Cutting is possibly the worst thing one can do to themselves. Cut in the wrong place or cut too deep and you can bleed out before help can arrive. So please try not to cut and talk to a teacher or your principal at school if you cannot get to see your doctor for help.

I have been talking to a friend of my brothers for a few months now. We have been hanging out for the past couple weeks. The first time we had sex was almost four weeks ago. I haven't gotten my period since, and I have been feeling a little nauseous. I told him over the weekend that I might be pregnant and he told me he's not ready for a baby and it's bad timing because we are not really dating, but he would be there for me if it's definitely his kid. My brother found out about us hanging out and he told me to be careful because he said he's really shady and he doesn't want him to hurt me. I don't know whether to believe my brother or not because he really seems like a great guy. I don't know what to do. If I am pregnant, I'm horrified that he's going to leave and my family is going to disown me. And I don't know whether or not to take my brothers warnings seriously. I just need a little advice. What should I do about both of these things?

First find out if your pregnant. Get two home pregnancy tests. Take the first one, hopefully it is negative, even if it is or if it is positive test again in two weeks. If the results are the same then believe the results.

The biggest reason for a woman to miss their period is stress any type of stress. Worry over being pregnant is certainly enough stress to cause you to miss a period. You don't say whether or not any protection such as a condom was used. If you did not use protection that only increases the stress.

Hopefully you are over the age of 14, you did not give your age. IF you are pregnant and over the age of 14 one worry you don't have is being forced to do anything you don't want to. By federal law anyone over the age of 14 has total medical confidentiality over their reproductive systems. This means your parents have no say in forcing you to have an abortion or not to have one. It will be your decision.

Now should you decide to have the baby and to keep the baby you need to see a lawyer. The father, and possibly his parents until he becomes of legal age, have certain responsibilities to your child. The lawyer will explain what these responsibilities' are and do the legal paperwork to have the court orders issued to see to it that he or his parents provide the child support and other support required by law to the child.

As to your parents disowning you. Every girl feels just as you are feeling. It is extremely rare for a parent to disown or kick their child out of the house. Remember regardless of all else it is their grandchild you are carrying if you are pregnant.

Will they be upset with you? Yes I'm sure they will. Will there be some yelling and screaming? Very likely though when the yelling and screaming is over they will focus on what is in the best interest of you and their grandchild.

The one thing I do not recommend is you and the boy getting married if that is even possible in your state based on your ages. The boy does not sound like good husband material and shotgun weddings as they were once called never last and you can be hurt physically and mentally if you do marry him at what I assume is your early ages.

Last, yes you do have to tell your parents if you are pregnant, It is not good for you or the baby if you try to hide your pregnancy. If you are going to go through with the pregnancy you need regular check ups to make sure you and the baby are healthy. Remember you and that boy made the baby the baby did not ask to be made. IF you decide to go through with the pregnancy then you need to do everything you can to deliver a healthy baby even if you do not plan to keep it.

21/f About 3 weeks ago, I noticed my left wrist kind of hurt whenever I'd try to use it to turn something. The area that hurts is the joint between my thumb and index finger. This is slightly confusing because I'm right handed. I turn a lot of things at work with both hands so I figured I'd leave it alone for a while and it would go away. Now, it's 3 weeks later and my left elbow is swollen and hurts. I don't recall sleeping on it differently or injuring it at all. But the area between the two bones on it is normal color but a little swelled. I could barely use my arm today. The entire arm also feels stiff and keeps popping when I move it. Is it possible to get arthritis at my age? Will the pain go away or should I see a doctor?

As to your question about Arthritis. Arthritis can strike at any age even in early childhood. That's the bad news, the good news is it generally does not present itself overnight so to speak, it comes on over a longer period.

As to what is bothering your wrist and elbow is not for any of us to diagnose as we are not doctors. It does sound as if something has become inflamed or strained possibly do to some type of work or leisure time repetitive activity.

The only person who can make this diagnosis for certain would be a Board Certified Orthopedic Doctor. While your family doctor can certainly treat the symptoms the Orthopedic doctor will look for the cause and effect to see what if anything can be done through physical therapy or even surgery if need be to relieve your pain.

Most Orthopedic doctors are not in single practices they work with other doctors to for a specialized practice where each doctor specialize in a different area of Orthopedics. When you call for an appointment you should ask to see their Joint Specialist for wrists and elbows. Yes they do in some practices get that specialized as there are many bones in the human skeleton.

IF your doctor feel this is a work related problem don't forget to file a workers compensation claim. IF the workers compensation Board agrees you will have no out of pocket expense for your treatment and there will be a settlement offered at the end of treatment for any long term affects of the injury.

If you can tell me few ways to die which fulfill following conditions:

1. Pain free death

2. Quick death

Also please suggest me a way that no one comes to know about my death.

I do not want to cause any pain to anyone else.

Important:
I am not seeking motivational answers, quotes from bible or Quran or looking any kind of self approval. I again request you to not give me such answers. Thanks.

Just for readers sake: i am not doing this in sadness or despair. And trust me I'm not in denial.

Not going to tell much about myself. Thanks.

Keep answers short and to the point.

I know you don't want to hear this but you have asked for help so I will answer you.

As A retired member of a fire department rescue squad I can tell you there is no quick and painless way to commit suicide. Since the body will always try to survive or at least keep the brain alive you will feel pain, a lot of pain.

As for not causing anyone one else pain? That is not possible. The simple fact that you kill yourself is going to cause pain to someone. Your mom, dad, sister and brothers for a start. What about close friends and relatives. Then is you have a significant other what about them. These people will feel pain, a great deal of pain that won't go away quickly.

In a sense you are being selfish. You want to end your pain and you are going to cause a great deal of pain for many others who love you and know you. Does that seem fair.

I understand you are in pain. That something has gone wrong in your life and you feel the weight of the world on you. Maybe you have done something you feel that is so wrong it is unforgivable and this is the only way out.

The real problem is you are depressed and too close to the problem to see the solution. That is where people like us come in. We may not have the answer but we can direct you to a professional that will have the answer or will help you correct the problem.

Do this for me; put off killing yourself for now and try to live. Work with the hotlines I am going to give you to try and fix whatever is wrong. My way may be harder than killing yourself but it is far less painful for you and those who may love you.

The first hotline is for the National Suicide prevention Hotline: You can Call 24/7 1-800-273-8255.

No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you'll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

The next hot line is more of a peer to peer hotline for young people under the age of 20. They specialize in resolving problems young people have that make them feel they need to end their lives. It's called the Kids help phone. Their number is 1-800-668-6868.

They offer: Phone counseling,Web counseling For ages 20 & under. It's free, 24/7, Anonymous & Confidential, Non-judgmental.

The last hotline is for an organization called RAINN which stands for, Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. IF you have been abused sexual harassed in any way or raped these are the people you want to call. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.

Go to this URL to find out how RAINN works and can help you.

https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-ohl-can-help.cfm

As you can see there are a lot more people willing to give of themselves who don't even know you that want to help you live. Give them a call let them help. They have been known to work miracles. There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel you are just too close to it to see it.

Hi,my wife is 40 and I am 49. Our love life is so so. If and when we do, we both fantasize. Hers is mature light skin men, big guy, hairy chest who can overwhelm her with his strength ( I am only 5'7")or her ex boss who tried to seduce her, she was in her 20s n he around 50. She also asks me if I was also fantasizing and I would also fantasize. After few years I asked her if she wants to try out her fantasy and also it would make me happy too but she says no. I told her atleast try it once and if U dont like then we dont do that again and for I know I may not like it. She says no. So, how do I convince her? Ofcourse men will be screened and safety will be priority. Any advise? I really want her to try it ONCE and then we go from there. Kindly advise please. Thank you.Thank you.

I have one firm policy that I advise on when it comes to sex.

First: there is nothing weird or strange about any sexual activity between two consenting adults.

Two: The operative word here is "CONSENTING." Your wife is not consenting to having sex with another man therefore it is a nonstarter. To continue to try and convince her is actually sexual harassment. Yes a husband can be charged with sexual harassment and even rape of his wife in many states.

Fantasizing is wonderful; it is great for masturbation or for when being given oral sex, a hand job or fingering. Sometimes reality and fantasy are not the same. For the sake of discussion lets say you wife gives into you and does as you ask. She finds she likes making love with other men it is everything she fantasized about. On the other hand it is a disaster for you. You couldn't stand watching another man make love to your wife. What do you do know, you have let the cat out of the bag so to speak.

There are a lot of other fantasies you can try to spice up your love life that your wife might be willing to try. One popular fantasy is one that adds an element of danger such as being caught making love. It brings back the teenage years. You go for a hike in the woods find a small clearing of the hiking path and you do what comes naturally. Will someone come along and see you? What will they so, what will they say? This is the fantasy.

There are others but that one seems to be very popular, adds some spice to the sex life. Most importantly it is safe and it is between the two partners no third parties are involved.

my boyfriend wants to insert his penis in my ass.. but im not allowing as we are only 17! now he just wants to touch his penis on my ass.. im not ready for that also as im scared of precum.. he cannot take a condom.. so he has asked for using plastic instead of condom. is it ok to allow him to cover his penis with plastic bag and let him touch my ass?is it safe?

While I do not agree in total with the previous two advisors there is some good advice in both answers. I'm going to give you a different approach to your questions

First lets talk about condom usage. You say your boyfriend cannot take a condom. There is only one valid reason for your boyfriend not wanting to use a condom and that is most are made of Latex and he has a latex allergy. If this is the case they make condoms out of sheep's skin they are more expensive than Latex condoms though he should not be allergic to them. Sheepskin condoms are also thinner than Latex ones and will provide him with a greater amount of feeling which is another benefit.

Any other reason he may give you for not wearing a condom is just plain BS. Most men or boys do not like condoms because they degrease the sensitivity he feels. Frankly that is tough especially if you are going to have anal sex. More germs reside in the anus than any other part of the body. Remember the anus is the exit port for the bodies waste system. All of the bodies toxins exit through the anal canal and many germs reside there. These germs can be transferred from him to you through other sexual acts no matter how thoroughly he washes his penis after anal sex.

Long story short, no condom NO SEX OF ANY TYPE, ANAL OR OTHER WISES. THIS IS FOR YOUR PROTECTION AS WELL AS HIS.

One of the other reasons you gave was precum. Lets take this question next:

The only time you have to worry about precum is with vaginal sex and not being on birth control or using a condom. While a condom should be used for anal sex if it isn't and the boy cums or has a precum discharge in the anal passage. There is no fear of pregnancy as the anal canal and the reproductive system are not connected. Just like oral sex you cannot get pregnant by swallowing the boys cum as the digestive system and the reproductive systems are separate. None of these systems interconnect.

The only way a woman can get pregnant is through vaginal sex. In some way sperm has to enter her vagina. Swim up to the fallopian tube and find an egg to fertilize. There is no other way.

Now as for not being ready. This I believe is the real reason. If you're not ready to do something sexually that's it. You say no and that is the end of the question. Any further pushing, begging or forcing of the issue becomes sexual harassment which is a crime.

In order for any type, of sex to take place, be it a blow job, a hand job or intercourse of any type both parties have to be mutually agreeable. If either party says no and the other continues or forces the other then it is rape.

As I said above to continue to pressure the other party into doing so can also be sexual harassment. If the other party consents just to get away or to get the other party to stop pressuring then it is still considered rape.

You did not say whether you are just not ready for anal sex or any type of sex. It does not matter. Until you are ready and you may never be ready for anal sex, he has to stop asking or he is sexually harassing you.

Now as for using plastic as a condom the answer is NO. It will not protect from any of the STDS a condom protects from and it will not protect you from getting pregnant if you have vaginal sex. IF you decide to have any type of sex with him including anal sex he has to use a condom. If you can't wear a latex one have him get a sheepskin one.

Can a friendship be saved in anyway if the person has made their whole life about their boyfriend/husband and dumped all their friends and some family to put ALL their energy into that person and no one else in life?

Its a long and complicated story that i dont want to type all out on here, but their now bringing a baby into the world, while living with a controlling mother who hates all her childrens friends. Its been increasingly harder to contact her as everytime i call someone ELSE picks up her cell phone and says shes "busy", doesnt live there anymore, or the phone no longer belongs to her. She is easily influenced by her mother and her overly controlling ways. it is engrained in her to give up a fight easily and submit to her mothers ways but i feel i cannot give close this issue for good until i get some answers. we didnt end the friendship with a fight or anything. best friends for over 6 years before this. so i just dont get it.

If ever a person needed a true friend it is this person. At some she is going to need to reach out to someone and when she does a true friend will be there for her regardless of her short comings or her controlling family.

To be a true friend it does not mean you have to see and speak to that person each and every day. You just need to let that person know that you will always be there when and if they ever need someone to talk to. It does not matter how many days, months or even years that go by when she needs you; you will be there. That is what you need to communicate to her.

Given all the electronic social media we have today there are ways to stay in touch that her mother will not be able to control like a phone call. Suggest to your friend that she and you stay in touch over Facebook or something like that. IT doesn't have to be everyday and I'm sure you know how facebook works. She makes a general posting about her day and you respond with a general posting about your day.

As long as her mother does not have access to her postings or you restrict your postings to each other. Her mother should not see them.

Most importantly though is you remaining her friend regardless of circumstances today. For one day she will need a real friend.

15f, So i cycle about 10 miles every day, and recently i have noticed my thigh muscle is a bit bigger and is sort of rectangular in shape (sort of). I really hate the way this looks and was wondering if there was any way to slim down this muscle?

I do not have a real answer to your question, though I can tell you what is happening.

By cycling 10 miles every day you are trading fat for muscle, this is why your thigh is changing shape. You may also notice a slight increase in your weight especially if you have increased you calorie intake to compensate for you're exercise. The reason for this is muscle weighs more than fat does.

Before you started cycling your thigh was as much fat as it was muscle. When you started to cycle you started to exchange fat for muscle and tone the muscle for that exercise.

I would suggest that since I believe school is still in session that you talk with one of the physical education instructors about a way to tone and shape the muscle so it does not appear as heavy or shapes as you say it appears.

hi i had my period ova 3 days ago when me an my husband wantd to have sex just when he pushed in his penis i started to bleed agian we stop having sex right on the spot i wanted to know are we at risk of geting hiv/aids please i need to know its not the 1st time it happend it happend twice befor but we never continue having sex on wen i saw the blood on my fingerz plz i need to know

No from what you explained there is no reason for you to worry about getting HIV/AIDS. In order to get HIV/AIDS one of you must have had sexual contact with someone who has the virus. As long as neither of you carry the virus then there is no risk of either of you contracting the virus from the other.

Now as to why you start bleeding again three days after your periods stops; that is a question you should consult your gynecologist about. I'm not a doctor so I can't say whether this is an indication of something being wrong. What I will say is it is not normal, at least in my view and I suggest you see your doctor.

While you are there have the doctor explain to you about AIDS and the HIV virus for your belief that your bleeding could give it to you or your husband is very wrong. There is nothing wrong with having sexual intercourse while a woman is having her period as long as neither party objects. Mostly it will be the women who will object as she is the one who may be uncomfortable during this time and not feeling very sexy.

The following link will give you more information on how HIV/AIDS is contracted.

http://aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/hiv-aids-101/how-you-get-hiv-aids/

You answered a question of mine about doctors seeing if I'm a virgin. You mentioned Hippa. Could you send a link that shows where it says the doctor does not have to tell my parents? I would really appreciate that and thank you for answering my other question.

You would have to go to the full text of the law to find what you are asking for. The URL's below will link you to sites that while, in somewhat legalese, explain about the privacy act of HIPPA and how it works for young people.

You do not have to say a word to mom about this prior to going to the doctor. Let the doctor explain to mom. In fact if you have not had a female exam since getting your period let the doctor examine you. Just state before the doctor or the nurse prepares you for the exam or to the receptionist that you invoke your rights under HIPPA Privacy.

Let the doctor take it from there. Your main concern is whether the doctor could tell if you have done anal or are no longer a virgin? The answer is no, unless something in either your anal or vaginal canal is torn. Then the doctor would suspect something has been up the canal that is not suppose to be their. The doctor cannot tell if that something was a boys penis or a vibrator or dildo. You are considered a virgin until a penis has entered your vaginal. Anal sex has nothing to do with virginity.

As I said yesterday a missing Hymen does not mean you have had sexual relations. Girls today lose their Hymens through exercise, bike riding, jumping and other activities sometimes long before they even consider having sex. Even Tampon usage can tear or break off a Hymen so that is not a concern and is something a doctor would explain if he or she were to report to a mom that a girls Hymen were missing.

I still don't know how old you are and I hope you are a lot older than 14 if you are in anyway sexually active. From my perspective, and I am very liberal in my views when it comes to sex and teenagers. If mom suspects you are sexually active and is forcing you to undergo a female exam this is invasive and a violation of your privacy. Mom is very, very wrong here. What she should be doing is making sure you have the proper protections from STDS and pregnancy. I suspect mom was a very sexually active teenager and trying to make sure you're not as she was.

I know some doctors who will not perform this exam unless there is medical reason or if there is a suspected rape. Simply telling the doctor you don't want this exam, there is nothing wrong, you are having regular menses. This exam is nothing more than your mom wanting the doctor to verify what can't be verified and that is whether you are still a virgin. The doctor should refuse to do the exam.

At this point if you are seeing a good doctor the doctor will tell mom she is wasting her money and charge her the minimum charge for an office visit and go on to the next patient. You do not have to confront you mom let the doctor do the confrontational thing with her. Remember as part of the doctors oath they have sworn to do no harm. Doing an unnecessary procedure is doing harm.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3608004.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_Insurance_Portability_and_Accountability_Act

http://www.teenhealthlaw.org/fileadmin/teenhealth/teenhealthrights/yln/03_yln_3_gudeman_confidentiality.pdf

If a doctor checks if a girl is a virgin can he tell if she has had anal sex or will he only see vaginal sex?

A few things you need to know that your question brings to light for me.

1) No the doctor cannot tell if you are sexually active either with vaginal sex or anal sex unless the doctor sees some semen. That would be a giveaway sign. The doctor can only tell if you Hymen is in tact and there are many ways for today's active female to dislodge her Hyman. So a missing Hyman is not proof of loss of virginity.

2) More importantly this questions sounds like mom is taking you to the doctor to see if you are sexually active. If you are 14 or older, even though the doctor cannot tell by examination, you can refuse to have this type of exam or have the results of any medical exam or treatment of your reproductive system shared with your parents.

A federal law called HIPPA gives anyone over the age of 14 medical confidentiality over their reproductive system. Even though in the eyes of the law you are a minor and mom can force you to go to the doctor. This type of exam cannot be forced on you or can she or anyone else know the results of any exam or treatment of your reproductive system with out your consent.

Your mother can no longer be in the exam room with you at any time during any exam where a doctor may have reason to give you a female exam.
The examination of your reproductive system and the medical records of any examination are totally confidential. Only you can say who may see these records and that has to be in writing to your doctor(s).

Doctors are well aware of this law so all you need to say to the doctor is you are invoking your rights under HIPPA. The doctor or nurse will explain to your mother what that means. You cannot be forced and no doctor will allow you to be forced to give up this right.

Congress put this into the HIPPA law so young people would seek medical help when and if they needed or if they had questions they were too embarrassed to as a parent. By having total medical confidentiality you can speak freely and truthfully with your doctor so the doctor can properly treat you.

3) An unintended consequence of this law is that you can also ask the doctor for birth control medication and it will be prescribed for you. If you are sexually active I suggest you ask for birth control medication.

4) This law allows anyone 14 or older to seek medical help by making appoints and seeing a doctor with or without parental knowledge or permission. You may see any doctor you chose which may be your present doctors or you may go to any of the free clinics for women's reproductive health.

i want to no wat damage can be cause when u mastorbate

First things first, you need to do a better job with your question. For instance it would help to know if you're a boy or a girl. It would also help to know how old you are.

As a general answer masturbation will not cause you any harm. Masturbation is a natural way for anyone, adult or teenager to relieve sexual tension. The only time anyone has to worry about anything when masturbating are females when and if they wish to penetrate themselves.

In general a female will masturbate using her finger to stimulate her clitoris and possibly stick one or even two fingers in her vagina. In doing so she could, if her nails are long scratch herself causing some minor bleeding. She might even dislodge her Hyman if it is still intact.

Doing so would not mean she is no longer a virgin. Virginity is lost, for the boy or the girl when his penis penetrates a vagina or her vagina is penetrated by a penis for the first time. This is called intercourse.

If you are a girl I would not suggest you stick anything inside you that is not meant to be put inside you while masturbating.

Note: You will receive more answers and be taken more seriously by the advisor on this site if in the future; should you write to us again, if you use better grammar and spelling. People are judged by how they speak and write. When writing to people you don't know it is best to write as if you were giving the letter or question to your English teacher for a grade.

I used to hear my uncles talking about how having a government job was a good thing, and you had security in bad times. Now that I am old enough to go after one they are both gone and I don't know how to find out, exactly but how does one go about finding a government job in New Jersey? Things are kind of corrupt here, so do you have to be related to someone or is there another way? Thanks!

You might try looking at this website:

http://www.jobs2careers.com/index1.php?c1=4&c4=131&c5=260&c3=Government&c2=41140&q=Government&l=Nj&matchtype=e&bmt=bp&qs=new%20jersey%20goverment%20jobs&kid=12089980332&adid=1509582718&device=c

I've always known something was wrong with me. I had issues with self harm for a long time. I still have suicidial thoughts. I feel the need to drink and smoke when feeling down. My newest being a need to "binge eat". But I tried to stop all that, and change. It all made me hate myself more than I already do but I snapped a bit today. Just ate a take out carton full of fries, grilled cheese, two sloppy joes. a carton full of sweet potato fries and some funyuns. all within twenty minutes then popped a laxative. never ate a laxative after binging before... but I just grabbed the pack I had in my room (because I heard it was a quick weight loss technique)and did it. who knows why?

Anyway I know to get the help I need I'd have to go through my dad and I can't talk to my family. And I really mean I can't. I'm already the black sheep...and it's funny because I give advice on here and try to be there for people and i'm starting to wonder if maybe all the times I said it was going to be okay was me subconsciously trying to make myself believe that...

I know it doesn't seem like there is a question in here...i guess i kinda just needed to vent. I have no one to talk to.

What I'm hearing is that you're on your dad's insurance. This does not mean you need to go through your dad. You're an adult and your father no longer has any control or say over you medical issues. Yes his insurance may be paying the bills but your medical is confidential and only you can say who has access to your medical files. I could be paying for your medical visits and treatments it would not give me the right to see your medical file without your permission.

You should have your own copy of your dads insurance cards. IF you don't and you know who the insurance company is call them or go on line and request a copy of the insurance and prescription cards be sent to you. You are entitled to them as long as you are insured under their policy.

Given what your problem I'm going suggest you call the human resource department of the company where your dad works. Most all companies that have an insurance program have an EAP which stands for, Employee Assistance Program. This is a confidential program that assists employees and anyone who lives in their home, regardless if they are under the insurance, with a wide variety of problems employees may face away from work. Ask the Human Resource person you speak to for the number of the EAP contact.

Once you have that number call them and ask for assistance in finding a psychologist to help you with an eating disorder and possible depression. They will give you a name or list of names to call. Call and set up and appointment to speak with the psychologist. Most EAP programs will pay for a specific number of visits in full then your insurance will cover whatever is allowed for in the coverage.

Also you are going to need to have a full physical by your PCP. The psychologist is going to ask you to have one. This is to rule out any organic reason for your problem. Tell your PCP who your psychologist is and to share the results of the physical with the psychologist. Also ask to be screened for depression.

Most important for you to remember is that you are an adult and dad no longer has the rights he had when you were a minor. He may have the same rules most parents have when it comes to living under his roof. Which may be; "If you live under my roof you live by my rules." That is all well and good but it does not give him the right to violate your legal rights which in this case is protected by federal law. Only you can designate who can see your medical records. If you don't want him seeing your medical records or having knowledge of why you’re seeing the doctors you are seeing, then he has to live with it.

Next time you are with any of your doctors update your HIPPA forms to those people you want to be allowed access and or knowledge of your medical well-being.

Note: They can also give you the information you need to get the insurance cards you need.

I also visit this site daily so if you need to vent or need more help send me a private message. Don't be ashamed everyone needs help at some time and you have taken the biggest step by asking for help. Just remember your an adult and dad has no say. You do not need to tell me who you are and you should not if you send me any private messages.

I'm sorry, shallow jerk who thinks she's better than everyone else because pathetic losers worship her,I don't need to have the “queen b" notice,I only put the B, standing for something, say I'm cool, and have approval by others. I prefer my 5-8 real friends, than 45-69 friends who really don't like me. I read the blurb for a middle school guide, just for some help, but found out it was just about how to be popular. Please, people, what is the point? What is your deal? I'm not saying that if a popular girl who seems nice offers to sit with me at lunch, I'll say no, in fact, I'll say yes. But why try so hard with bitches who don't want you?

I like what rainhourse68 wrote in answer to you. You are correct it is much better to have a small group of true friends than an auditorium full of hanger'ons because you may be the smartest, prettiest or richest one in school.

A true friend, is a friend because of who you are not because of what you are or what you may have. A true friend is there for you in good time and in bad time.

For some reason the person who feels they must be the most popular person at school or work is a very shallow person. They need the approval of their peers to feel good about themselves. Personally I don't think that's right, I think that person has a very low self-esteem.

If you can enjoy being by yourself or in the company of just one or two others. That tells me you are well grounded and not only know who you are but comfortable with who you are. That may be a bit of psychological mumbo jumbo but it is important to feel good about yourself.

Being well grounded with who and what you are will stand you well as you grow into an adult. It is well grounded adults who exceed in the work place. These are the people employers look for as they exude confidence in themselves and others who work with them.

Stay just the way your are.

So I've been dating this guy for a while, let's call him jack. We are both 14 by the way. We live in Pennsylvania but I am moving to New Jersey soon. We were texting the other day, and he goes "Julie, will you marry me in 12 years?" So I went "haha. That'd be fun." And he goes "Julie, I'm serious. I don't know what to tell him???? Please help me. Oh and we plan to visit and text and otherwise stay in touch once I leave. What should I do????

Time for a little grandfatherly advice. Since I am of that age I will offer it.

When I was your age my parents called the type of love he is expressing in his proposal to you "Puppy love," or first love. We all go through this the difference her is your moving away and he doesn't want to lose you. There is nothing wrong with how he feels or how his is expressing his feelings.

I remember my first, true, love. I never wanted to be away from her. Right now I couldn't tell you where she is. If she is married or has children. We drifted apart when I went into the military.

You will text each other for a while and one of you may even visit the other once maybe twice. But unlike the say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, it also makes for loneliness. At your ages neither one of you are going to sit home and pine for the other as the saying goes. You are going to want to go out and have fun with your friends which is what being a teenager is all about. You will find others to share your love with and you two will grow apart.

I would not worry any about what he has said. It is just an expression of his fear of losing you at the moment as you are moving. He and you will change as I said above and in 12 years he will have forgotten all about his proposal.

So my ex and I only dated a few days. He was too clingy and I didn't feel anything, so we ended it almost 2 weeks ago. Well I decided to change my number because he had it and I didn't want him texting me. Well today (Which is Tuesday), I logged in onto my old account to get one of my friend's numbers and I saw that he left me a voicemail that was sent on Thursday. It was just something random but like still, I don't really want to be in contact with him really. And earlier today, he asked me why I haven't talked to him recently and I just said "Well we're done"... And he said something like "I think you're lieing and that you cheated" and then I kinda just walked away. If he talks to me again, should I just tell him to like leave me alone? It might sound rude but honestly he's not getting the message that I don't want to talk to him. Advice please ASAP thank you :)

Obviously this guy is not getting the message or does not want to take no for an answer. His response to you was way out of line for a few day relationship so I think it is best you get as far away from him as possible.

There are two ways to tell him you're done, that you don't want to see him anymore and not to bother you. One way of course is to send him a text message from your old account. Of course he can always deny he you sent it.

The other way is in person. If you decide to do it this way make sure you have a friend with you, preferably a guy who is bigger than him. Not to start a fight with him but to prevent him from trying to hurt you. Then tell him straight out that he creeps you out and you want nothing to do with him.

That if he continues to bother you that you will consider it harassment and take the appropriate action. IF he asks what that is. The appropriate action against someone who is harassing someone else is to file a police report as harassing some is against the law; even for teenagers.

http://s1189.photobucket.com/user/mikafae/media/263376_499768680072896_917131201_n.jpg.html?sort=3&o=1

thanks!

First things first. I liked your hair just the way it was in the picture. You're a very pretty young lady and the way your hair highlighted your face wonderfully.

In the future I would suggest you not put your picture on any websites, even ours. While we are a relatively safe website we cannot control who visits this site. This means pictures placed on this site or linked to this site could end up anywhere in cyberspace. Now that you have your answer to your question I suggest you delete your question so it is no longer seen on the general question board. I would also suggest you remove it from Instagram and reload it so it has a new address.

Remember once you put something out in cyberspace you lose total control of it. While this is a beautiful picture of you someone can photoshop the picture and who knows what they will do with this. Also never send a picture to anyone that you would not show to your father.

While it is easy and fun to take picture of yourself and send them to friends. You also have to be guarded about it for there are a lot of sick people who crawl the web looking for ways to do bad things.

Sorry for the lecture but the grandfather in me came out.

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