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why is everyone obsessed with popularity???
I'm sorry, shallow jerk who thinks she's better than everyone else because pathetic losers worship her,I don't need to have the “queen b" notice,I only put the B, standing for something, say I'm cool, and have approval by others. I prefer my 5-8 real friends, than 45-69 friends who really don't like me. I read the blurb for a middle school guide, just for some help, but found out it was just about how to be popular. Please, people, what is the point? What is your deal? I'm not saying that if a popular girl who seems nice offers to sit with me at lunch, I'll say no, in fact, I'll say yes. But why try so hard with bitches who don't want you?
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Maybe give some free advice about: School?
That's why I don't have a Facebook, or twitter or whatever you kids have these days. Only person you need approval from is yourself. Don't let them bother you....keep doing your thing!!
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I understand where your coming from, for me it also didn't make much sense and often wondered why some of my friends strived to be popular in junior high and high school. I learned in college while taking psychology courses as well as my recent nursing ones that it's a normal phase of psychosocial development.
Simply having many friends gives them a sense of belonging. There are many odd things children do before growing up into adults that don't always make sense but most of them are considered normal as long as they don't persist after a certain age.
I don't know how old you are but it's good that you understand that having a few friends that you are close to is better for you than having a 100 that don't know you. Don't worry too much about the other people at your school, they will found out for themselves
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I like what rainhourse68 wrote in answer to you. You are correct it is much better to have a small group of true friends than an auditorium full of hanger'ons because you may be the smartest, prettiest or richest one in school.
A true friend, is a friend because of who you are not because of what you are or what you may have. A true friend is there for you in good time and in bad time.
For some reason the person who feels they must be the most popular person at school or work is a very shallow person. They need the approval of their peers to feel good about themselves. Personally I don't think that's right, I think that person has a very low self-esteem.
If you can enjoy being by yourself or in the company of just one or two others. That tells me you are well grounded and not only know who you are but comfortable with who you are. That may be a bit of psychological mumbo jumbo but it is important to feel good about yourself.
Being well grounded with who and what you are will stand you well as you grow into an adult. It is well grounded adults who exceed in the work place. These are the people employers look for as they exude confidence in themselves and others who work with them.
Stay just the way your are.
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From your note I'd say you've got the big picture of true social interaction pretty well spot on. But maybe a little earlier than many manage to grasp it. 'What use is it to dine with crowds if we have not true friends?' as someone (can't remeber who!) aptly put it. Put the desire to be liked by everyone, and collect 'friends' as one might collect stamps down to peer-group pressure. When it persists strongly well into adult life it normally betrays a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Maybe have a think about those people who seem to need to be "everyone's mate" and build their personality on that. Do you not see some lack of personal identity in them, behind the facade? I don't think you lack confidence or self-esteem. I reckon you've got enough and some to spare! You're doing OK. Play the game a bit though, to keep things sweet. Don't deliberately alienate yourself by being the one with enough self-confidence and independence to 'not give a damn what the rest think'. Don't distance yourself too much from the social group. We all somtimes have to put on a bit of an act, all our lives. You won't get obsessed with it, become neurotic, cry and get depressed if 'so-and-so doesn't seem to like me...what's wrong with me?'....amd so on. You're in a strong position I think? Have a think about how social media sites like facebook caught on and rose to it's remarkable popularity. You can collect friends and win their approval without even leaving your armchair! Think too about the way some users 'cyber-life' (personality, views, activities etc) seems unrecognisable from their physical world presence and persona. Makes you think a bit, eh??
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