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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
So I'm 13 and I'm trying to lose 20 pounds (I'm 5'1 and 135, and to have a healthy weight/bmi I have to be around 110-115). So while I'm on my diet can I have sugary things in moderation? For example, if me and my friends were to go out for icecream on Monday, but then I ate healthy for the rest of the week. Not completely cutting myself off, but just moderation, because I'm not trying to lose the weight super fast or anything.
Young women your age should not diet without knowledge and consent of their parents and doctor or pediatrician. It is at this stage of your life, especially for women, that your body needs a minimum amount of calories a day in order to support the changes that are happening caused by puberty.
Have you looked at some of the female Olympic athletes. They may be in their late teens but their bodies look more like they are in their early teens. Many are flat chested and as for their periods go if they ever got one they have stopped. The reason is they use up all of the calories they take in training and they have little body fat for the body to draw on to in order to transform them into a women. When they stop training then their bodies mature and they get the bodies of women their age.
You may or may not need to lose 20 pounds. It all depends on your skeletal frame size. Right now you are at the high end for someone your height with a large frame. This is why it is important to talk with your parents and your doctor or pediatrician to first find out what your optimum weight should be.
Once you know how much you should weigh you need to both diet and exercise to both lose weight and tone your body for the look you want.
Know that you have this knowledge I can answer your question which is: Can I diet and eat sweets at the same time. This is both a yes and no answer. Your doctor or pediatrician will tell you the minimum calorie intake you need each day then give you a diet plan to follow for that calorie count. For the sake of this answer lets say your minimum calorie intake must be 2000 calories, which is not that much for a young active teenager. If you are following the diet and have a sweet snack that contains 500 calories then you have to adjust your calorie intake for that day. so if you had this snack between lunch and dinner you would have to adjust your dinner calories. In this diet plan Breakfast would be as high as 550 calories; lunch another 800 calories. This would leave 650 calories for dinner minus the 500 calorie snack leaving 150 calories for dinner.
IF you don't know the calories in the sweet then you can't have it. Of course if you know you are going to have a 500 calorie snack that day you can adjust those calories out over all three meals.
I know this has been long winded though this is what it takes to successfully diet. Most teenagers do not have the determination to stick to this type of program.
My advice is to see your doctor and find out if you are overweight. Then exercise and eat a little less at each meal. Cutout the between meal snacks or at least cut back on them if you need to lose weight. Remember this of all of what I have written. IT IS FAR BETTER AND HEALTHIER TO BE 10 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT THEN TEN POUNDS UNDERWEIGHT. Your doctor can explain why.
I work in a unique environment. The company I work for has a partnership with another company. I work for company X, but company Y pays my salary. I report to managers with both companies. I have two concerns. One is that I don't have a good working relationship with my company X manager. Also, after coming to work, I found out company X hasn't given a raise in six years. The job itself is fine, and it is near my hometown. I have a job offer that would take me out of the area. I would get a 10% salary increase. And I would not report to multiple managers. It would require relocation. I am absolutely torn. What things should I consider in making the decision to stay or go?
The first and only thing to consider is what is best for you. That does not necessarily mean that the 10% raise is the best thing as you have to look at other things to see if it is truly a raise in salary.
Given the state of the economy in the last six to eight years it is not unusual for many companies not to give out raises. Some have done so as to avoid downsizing to maintain as many of their pre-downturn employees as possible. Other companies have other reasons some valid and some not so valid.
The first question you need to answer is; why has this company not given raises in 6 years? What are the chances they will give raises in the future?
The next thing is to take a good look at what is involved in relocation. The old saying that; "The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, is in play here. Many times the grass looks greener and when you get there you find out its crabgrass.
The first thing to look at is the cost of living in the new location. Is it going to cost you more to live there? If so how much of the increased cost of living is going to eat into the 10% raise? Things to look at are apartment rents, utilities, transportation cost, insurance and groceries plus entertainment. Just about every item on you budget list.
The second questions: Requires you to compare the cost of living in the new area to what it is costing you now to see if the new area will be higher and if so how much?
The next question is more intrinsic in nature the value of which only you can put on it. That is what do you leave behind that you can't take with you or replace in your new home town. This would include friends and family that remain behind. How far it to come back to visit and what is the cost both in the intrinsic and real dollar value?
Once you have done your due diligence and research you can make an educated decision. No one but you can make the decision for you. After looking at your research and adding in the things like not reporting to two different managers. You look at the pros and cons and if monetarily everything is equal or does not eat up all of the raise then moving to take the new position might be the right option. Only you can make that choice.
I have two children. My husband walked out on us a year ago. He does not paid child support I did file. I work a full time job. Making okay money. My oldest has some disabilities. I have a boyfriend that I am not in love with. I was blessed to be able to live with family for a while. It was very crowded and pretty stressful for everyone involved. I moved out into a house close to my dad's. He takes me to work because I still haven't been able to afford a car. My kids have their own rooms now. We are walking distance from the school. I am absolutely miserable living with my boyfriend. I feel my attitude ttowards him comes off as hateful even though I don't mean to be. I don't like when he puts his arm around me and normally I love that He works he's very sarcastic I'm not judge mental on looks but I feel there has to be some kind of connection and it's just not there at all. We've talked about it I don't think I could afford to live here on my own and if I did it would be a very tight on bills. I'm just unsure of what I should do
IF you filed for child support and your ex husband is not paying then you need to take him back to court. You ask the court to order him to pay child support and to pay whatever he owes in back support. You also ask that the court attach his paychecks and the funds being sent to the court to distribute to you. If he fails to notify the court of changes in employment so the attachment follows he can go to jail.
Most every state has strict laws governing child support and there are federal laws as well. Contact your divorce attorney and have him bring your ex back to court to be forced to pay child support since voluntary child support does not seem to be working.
It is my belief that once the child support starts coming in on a regular bases the other problem you speak of will either be seen in a different light as a major stress has been removed or you will be able to deal with them better.
Right now you see your boyfriend as a necessary evil to deal with as you cannot live in any degree of comfort without him. Once the child support and the arrears are coming in the stress of that situation will change and so may your perception.
My advice is to call your lawyer first thing in the morning.
15f/
Okay sorry this is gonna be kinda long but i need help. Before you judge and say "you're too young" and so fourth know that i'm very mature for my age. I'm friends with alot of "older" kids. like 17+, i was at a party i got extremely high, and wasted but i was taken upstairs by this 18 year old but we've been friends for a while so it wasnt random but yes we "hooked up." and eveyone knows which isnt a big deal to me because im not a slut, i dont hook up with people all the time. anyway, it didnt feel like just a hookup, it felt real. we talked about it after (while sober) and he said i wasnt just another hookup, and that he actually cared. i'm convinced because all his friends say he talks about me all the time. we've been spending alot of time together, problem is...i dont know if its what i want. im still a sophomore in high school and hes graduated in college. (my parents dont know this is going on.) we cant do anything outside of his house, unless its out of town. but everything else feels right. i just dont think its good for me. help?
Time for a little grandfatherly advice; since I am of that age I will offer some.
First: While I am extremely liberal on my views on sex I have to say being 15 and hooking up and having sex is wrong. You may be very mature for your age but I get very concerned when an 18 year old college man seeks out a 15 year old high school girls for the purpose of sex. There is something wrong there. Why does he not look to date within his own age group?
Two: At your age by law you cannot consent to sex be it with someone your age or his. Depending on the laws in your state it could even be illegal for you two just to date. Having sex would be another felony charge.
If your parents were to find out you two were dating they could, depending on the laws in your state, have him arrested for statutory rape. This is the charge just for dating. If they find out you two had sex there are a list of other charges that could be added that could put him in jail for 25 years to life, again depending on the laws in your state. As you can see it is not how mature you are but what the law is that is in play here. While 3 years does not seem like a big deal, and generally it is not, when it comes to underage dating and sex it can be a felony for the adult in the relationship.
You are showing your maturity in the statement; "i dont know if its what i want. im still a sophomore in high school and hes graduated in college." This is good because I'm wondering if your more infatuated by the fact that he is in college interested in a high school girl, rather than actually having real feelings for him.
My advice is that unless you are pregnant, hopefully you are not; there is no reason to tell your parents about any of this. You should break off your relationship and stick to dating within your age group. There is good reason to date within your age group as this allows you to learn the skills necessary to fend off boys and not succumb to whatever advances older boys have learned to use to get what they want.
Teenage years are learning years and not just what you learn in school. This is the time you learn about social graces. How to interact with the opposite sex; you learn what is an is not acceptable in adult society. This is all very important. As I told my children your teenage years are like an Algebra problem. You cannot skip any of the problem solving method and get the right answer. You have to go step by step. This includes going from entering your teen age years to dating adults. In doing so you miss out on many things including many of the fun stuff.
One last thing: At your age drinking is not good. Drinking to the point of getting wasted, especially for women, is dangerous and can lead to unwanted sexual encounters; AKA Rape. This happens all too often to teenage girls and adult women who drink too much. It doesn't have to happen.
My advice is to do without the alcohol. It really is not cool to get wasted drunk and doing so inhibits certain growth potential. Getting wasted drunk no can lead to drinking problems as an adult. I know this as my brother in-law is a recovering alcoholic. He would tell you that a majority of the people in aa will tell you that their drinking problem started as teenagers.
I hope you will give my advice serious consideration as you sound like a nice young lady.
I just touched my penis above her vagina but i realeased no sperms at all.. I was all dry.. She was little wet so is there any chance that she will get pragnant. Plzzz advice me please
The short answer to your question is: If you are positive there was no sperm to enter her vagina then there no way your girlfriend can get pregnant.
Somehow I have the suspicion that you and your girlfriend are very young, maybe as young as 14 or even younger. If this is true then maybe you two need to step back a bit. Learn from this scare that you two are too young to be getting naked together. Full on naked sex, dry humping, leading to sexual intercourse is an adult activity. At least the activity of an older teenager closer to the age of an adult which in all states is 18.
There are many other things you can do together for sexual relief and enjoyment, which are more age appropriate, that do not require taking your clothes off. Once the clothing comes off the safeguards and the boundaries go down. When this happens a teenage pregnancy is possible.
So the next time you think about getting naked with her, think how worried you were When you wrote to us.
Okay so i figured out my sexuality but i dont think there’s a name for it
For girls, same as always, sexually and romantically attracted always
But with guys, never sexually attracted, but only romantically attracted if i share a close bond with them (like demiromantic but only with guys)
Does anybody know what this could possibly be?
(14f btw)
Given your age I would tell you what I have told others that have written as you have.
At your age it is way too early to label yourself sexually. You are in the early stages of puberty and the hormones of puberty are playing havoc with you. The thought of sexual intercourse with a guy is still a fairly gross thought for many girls your age. Yet sex with a girl is not gross. This is fine as it is all part of experimenting to find your true sexual self. Boys to experiment within their own sex at this age to find out what they like and don't like. Just as you are not a lesbian they are not gay and neither of you are near being bisexual. You are safely experimenting.
If you were as Lesbian you would have known this long before you hit puberty for you would have been born this way. Lesbians just as gay guys are born this way they are not made. Scientists are not so sure as to a person being bisexual. That may just be an acquired preference.
My advice is to relax, enjoy learning about your sexuality. You are definitely not a lesbian and some day soon when you are more comfortable around boys you will have sexual feelings. Romantic feelings generally come before sexual feeling so you could be on your way. There is no need to stick a label on your sexuality until you are out of High school or even out of college. Your teenage years are for the enjoyment of learning and that includes learning who you are sexually. Just don't go so far as you could get pregnant.
I'm an 11 year old female
Even though it takes me an hour to go to sleep without a light source, and outside at night I'll start getting sick (she's witnessed this), and once I tried to talk to her, and said it was nyctophobia, she only laughed and said it's not a phobia. She also tries to fix it on her own. The problem is, she thinks she could fix it, but she isn't trained to do it,I know I need a psychologist or something like that, but she refuses to admit it. She is all like,“common, (my name), you never had this before!" When really,I did. I remember I had several night lights. What should I do?
In this instance both you and your mom are somewhat correct. This is a common phobia that usually is found in younger children and generally clears on its own as children get older and learn there is no boogeyman. In your case there may be a reason you are having anxiety attacks at bedtime and at night.
You probably did have this problem as a young child. Did it ever go away. If it did and has since returned then something has happened to cause it. It could be some type of trauma, not an injury type but something you saw or read. It could also be something someone has said to you that has scared you.
Based on what you have written that about what mom said and the night lights you had. I believe at one time when you were much younger you had the normal night time phobias of young children. This is why mom said what she said we parents have a tendency to forget the normal things.
since you cannot talk to your mom or she is not willing to listen to you. Is it possible you could talk to your grandparents or possibly a favorite Aunt or Uncle who would then talk to mom for you. Other than that the only other thing I can say to you is to deal with this until mom takes you for your back to school physical and then tell the doctor. You are old enough now that mom doesn't have to be in the exam room with you and you can ask her to wait in the waiting room. It will be just you the doctor and if it is a male doctor his nurse so you can talk freely to him or her. Then tell the doctor about this and let the doctor talk to mom.
If your school system is not like mine and does not require back to school physicals. Then when you return to school go talk to the school nurse.
My family has tried to help my grandmother fix her house but it is beyond repair. Her house is coming up out of the ground, you can see the foundation outside. Most of the rooms don't have electricity, so she has lamps. She refuses to move in with other family members or get another place because she's been living in her house for 40 years and spent a lot of money on it and doesn't want to leave it. She is 80 years old and refuses to get help. Her walls in the house are splitting, she now has water leaking all over the house and won't call a plumber or electrician because they cost too much and she doesn't want to get her house condemned.
She's a hoarder and has junk all over the house piled up in most rooms. She has roaches REALLY BAD and she has rats. She has holes in the ceiling and she throws food all over the kitchen. She can't cook because the gas isn't on. she refuses to throw away junk and trash.
There's no gas, no bad plumbing and the kitchen and bathroom are beyond repair. Also there's mold growing out of the vents and she has rats living in the attic. The electricity works but the electrical wiring isn't proper and she's has to run like 5 heaters & fans, a computer and 3 TV's off of extension cords because most of the plugs don't work, not to mention lamps.
Famiy has welcomed her to stay with them if she please, it's not healthy for her to stay in that house. The restroom is gross and she has to heat up water to wash off and she has to pour water in the toilet to flush it.
Older people get fixated or stuck in their ways. It does not mean they suffer for dementia although it is possible. To get your grandmother the proper help you have to seek the help of her doctor plus the services offered by the state, county or city.
The Doctor: Do you know if her doctor believes she is capable of living on her own? It is a bit tricky to find this out as the doctor by law can only discuss this with those your grandmother has given the doctor written permission to do so. The written permission is called the HIPPA disclosure. You will have to call the doctors office to see who is listed as who information can be disclosed to.
If no one is listed then you would need to type up a letter from you grandmother to the doctor authorizing you or your parents to see and discuss her medical records. You would then have to see if your grandmother would sign it.
Condemning the house: The quickest way I know of would be to ask the local fire department to make a courtesy inspection. If things are as bad as you have written they can start the proceedings by calling the local Fire Marshal who can declare the house unsafe and uninhabitable and condemn it. Most fire department, be they paid or volunteer type will do this inspection if asked.
Once that is done then the different government services kick in as ten she will be technically homeless.
Hi guys so I'm 18 years old and in a few days my bf will be 21. We've been dating for 2 and a half years but our first year was a little rough. But I would like to go out to a club and dance with my friends along with my older brother. My boyfriend is totally against it. He says only single girls have business being at a club. But when he turns 21 he plans on going out without me. I understand his point of not wanting me to get grabbed and such on the dance floor buy I know I can handle it. And if for some reason I couldn't my brother and girlfriends will be there. Im sick of doing the same thing of nothing, every night with my boyfriend and sometimes we need our space. Could someone please tell me I'm completely wrong for wanting to go out and dance? My boyfriend doesn't even dance! He's not much fun when it comes to these kinds of things. Please someone give me advice if I'm wrong or not for wanting a girls night out plus my brother. Thank you!
Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I am going to offer some grandfatherly advice to you. Hopefully you will give this advice I offer some consideration.
First: You have every right to go out and do things on your own. You are not property and he does not own you. Even if you were married you would still have the right to go and do things on your own. If you allow your boyfriend to control you in this way you are going to be a very unhappy young lady. In fact from what you have written, "He's not much fun when it comes to these kinds of things," it sounds like you are not all that happy with the way things are right now.
Second: You write that you are 18 and have been dating him for 2 1/2 years. This would have made you 15 1/2 when you met him and him about the age you are now. This is a red flag to me as while at present your age difference is not a big deal, it was when you first met. Why could he not date someone his own age? Why did he run the risk of going to jail by dating an underage girl?
The answer is what I'm seeing in what you are writing about now. Because of your young age and immaturity, it doesn't matter how mature you were for your age you were immature to him, he was able to control you and has been able to maintain that control over you. Example, "My boyfriend is totally against it." "He says only single girls have business being at a club." "But when he turns 21 he plans on going out without me." What makes him the authority on what single girls can and cannot do? Why can he do as he please with or without your permission or approval?
Third and final Point: Your boyfriend is a controller. He looked for and found a girl almost 3 years younger than him to date. He risked going to jail as it is illegal in most states to date underage girls buy adults which he was. He did this because he needs to be in control and he could not control girls closer to his age. He needed someone who would be in love with the fact that an older guy found her attractive. Then would fall in love with him and do anything to keep him including allowing him to control her.
People who are controllers at young ages such as him only get worse. If you were to stay with and marry him you could find yourself kept at home with him telling you what to do when. How to do things, what to wear, what to cook and just about everything in your life; worse is that these controllers can become abusers as well if what they demand of their spouse is not done to their satisfaction.
I have spent a good part of my life as an emergency responder caring for these women. I also know many police officers because of being emergency responder. We see this all too often.
While it is possible I'm wrong about your boyfriend I don't think I am. I think he is your first real boyfriend and you feel for him because he was an older boy who was interested in you. My advice is to give serious thought to what I have written and to get out before you get hurt and while you are still strong enough to do so.
I know those last two sentences are not to your liking. That's okay I would rather have you mad at me for writing them or suggesting you leave him than have to read about you being a victim or have you in the back of my ambulance or my sons who is a paramedic.
I am engaged to the most wonderful woman I could ever be blessed with. We are planning to get married in December. Now the problem is her mom. She's the youngest of three and she lives with her mom to help take care of her. Her mom is pretty stubborn and she needs to have canned Pepsi, cigarettes, and weed. My fiance pays for all of that despite the fact that she works part time for minimum wage. Her mom doesn't take that into consideration and will go thru her stuff so fast. Leaving my fiance with no money. I'm scared we won't be able to get our own place at this rate. Her mom will already make her feel guilty for moving out. I try to tell her to put her foot down so we can save money but she says there's no point. She's stressed and struggling and I hate seeing her this way. Especially since its her mom. I feel like it's putting a strain on our relationship. What should I do to save our love?
For right now I would suggest that you shelve any discussion about what to do with the mother of your bride to be until after the wedding. Your Bride to be is under enough stress just planning her own wedding, she doesn't need any additional stress. Just tell her this is something that will have to be addressed after the wedding by the two of you and her two siblings.
As I see it her two siblings are being grossly unfair in not sharing the financial responsibilities for their mother. What you can and should do today, unless you live in a state that has recently decimalized weed, is you tell your future mother in-law that your bride is no longer going to pay for her weed or provide it to her. She will have to meet with the dealers and pay for it herself starting today. That is something I think you and your bride can agree upon if she is doing the supplying. You can't get married if she is caught buying moms weed and sent to jail.
After the wedding you sit down with the two sibling for a talk. What I would tell them is that their free ride is over. If they have not been sharing in the financial burden then its their turn to take on the responsibility while you and your wife get you life together settled and on a firm financial footing. They have had that opportunity and now it is her turn.
Why can't I cum when I masterbate for a long time?
There are a number of different reasons as to why you are unable to ejaculate while masturbating. The first and most common reason has mostly to do with your age.
A boy does not have to go through puberty to get an erection, you have been getting them since you were born. As you approach puberty it is easier to summon an erection or get one because something you see sexually stimulates you. Until you enter puberty your body will not have the needed chemicals to manufacture ejaculate though you should be able to have what is called a dry climax.
Now if you have entered puberty which could happen as early as age 11 or as late as your late teens. Then you should be able to have a wet climax. If you have entered puberty and you know this for sure then you may need to see a Urologist type of doctor for this may be a medical problem. I'm not a doctor so I cannot say just what the problem could be. The most serious of the problems would be a prostate problem which is a gland responsible or which makes it possible to ejaculate. A doctor can feel and stimulate this gland by putting a finger up your rectum. Get use to this exam as from puberty till you die this will be part of every physical you have.
The simpler of the problems might be that your body might not be making the chemicals needed to cause a wet ejaculation. If this is the problem there may be pills you could take to correct this problem.
Now I know going to a parent with this, mom or dad, is embarrassing. How do you tell either of them that first you've been masturbating when they have most likely told you not to. Then you also need to tell them that when you do you can't climax and shoot sperm. If you are under age 14 you have no choice especially since one of the problems could be your prostate as this is an important part of and your reproductive system.
Now if you are over 14 a Federal Law has given anyone 14 years of age and over total Medical Confidentiality. Meaning and including that they can make doctors appointments without parental permission. See doctors without parental permission or accompaniment, be treated by the doctors and parent can have no right to this medical information. It is totally confidential as long as it pertains to your reproductive system. The law is called HIPPA.
To see a doctor under this law all you need do is call and say to the appointment secretary you have a problem covered under HIPPA that you need to see the doctor for. They will take it for there.
You are still covered under your parents health insurance for these doctors visits even though they cannot see your medical records for these visits or be told why you saw the doctor or what you were treated for. Who pays the bill does not give them the right to see your medical records. I could pay your doctor's bill and still I would not have a right to know what I was paying for.
You would still be required to pay any co-pay the insurance requires. If your parents do not have health insurance then go to a hospital emergency room and say the same thing. They will examine and treat you without worry about the bill.
I'm a 14 year old girl. Whenever I stand up I get very dizzy and my vision blacks out for about give seconds. The other day, I blacked out for five whole minutes when I first got out of bed in the morning. I told my mom and she says make sure you're eating enough food (I get 1,200-1,400 calories a day and drink a lot of water. I have a pretty healthy diet). My mom also said that looking at my phone screen for extended periods of time could cause it too. I also black out a little when I stretch up. Like when you first wake up and you stretch a little to crack your joints, I blackout for a few seconds. Should I see a doctor or can this be easily fixed?
I don't want to say your mom is wrong though in this instance but she is. While I am not a doctor this is a problem I am somewhat aware of. When a person blacks out when rising from a resting to a standing position it is a medical problem not caused by a bad diet or extended watching of your smart phone.
There are several causes for this problem the most severe and most worrisome is a severe drop in blood pressure upon rising from a resting position such as sitting or getting out of bed. This is generally traceable to some form of heart condition. Just how serious a heart problem this might be if it is I can't say. As I said I'm not a doctor and diagnoses of just what the problem is requires specialized testing.
Less serious but still requiring medical intervention are internal injuries. Have you been injured in an accident recently? Have you had a fall, been punched in the stomach or suffered any type of trauma prior to theses blackout happening? If so you need to seek medical attention ASAP for you may have an internal injury.
Since you are saying this happens EVERY TIME you stand up or get out of bed in the morning. My advice is to call 911 and go to a hospital and get checked out. Blackouts of this nature are serious and can be life threatening.
I feel overwait and I have a doctors appointment next week
And want to be healthy what should I do
Seeing your doctor is the best first step you can take. Feeling overweight and being overweight are two different things. Ask the doctor what your best weight range should be for you age, height and frame size. Then ask the doctor is you need to gain or lose weight.
It is far better to be 10 pounds overweight then 10 pounds underweight, something your doctor can do a much better job of explaining than I can. Since you do I have an appointment to see the doctor I will leave that explanation to your doctor.
Now feeling overweight may mean all you need to do is some body toning through various exercise. Just remember one thing about trading fat for muscle which is what toning does. Muscle weighs more than fat and you will actually gain a few pounds doing so. Do not go on a diet to lose that weight. If you do and you do not have the fat reserves to draw upon the body will draw upon the muscle and you will be right back where you started.
The weight differential for your age, height and frame size will allow for gaining some weight or I should say should allow for gaining some weight from toning if you are not already at the high end of the scale.
Make a list of everything you want to talk to the doctor about so you are sure to cover everything during this visit. Write it down and take it with you and make sure you get answers to your all your questions so you can make an informed decision.
So I'm a 14 year old girl and my family and I moved from Pennsylvania to New Jersey 4 months ago. At first the transition was difficult, changing schools at end of the school year and all of that (it's summer break now) but I'm a friendly person and I make friends quite easily. So for the first moth we were here I was cutting my arms and crying at night, just straight up depressed, and then I was ok after I got control and started getting use to this place. But now I'll I want to go back to Pennsylvania. My stage of being alright was temporary. I want to start cutting again but I'm trying not to, I cry every night and I'm getting into depression. I don't know why this is coming back again and I know that I'll never be happy here in New Jersey. I don't complain though because I don't want to hurt my parents. My friends here are great and all but I just want my old ones back. My family and I move around a lot but we ended up staying in the last place for a long time, that's why I'm so broken up. My dad was making a joke out of moving to New Jersey the other day. Here's how it went:
Dad: so do you like it here yet?
Me: no
Dad: will you ever?
Me: no
Dad:well we'll move again like always. Tell me when you have sine good friends and we'll move. (Whole family laughs, but I have to hold back tears for the rest if the car ride).
I don't think he meant to make the joke sound mean, he doesn't realize how hard this is for me because like I says, I try not to complain too much. So how do I cope with all these feelings and what can I do? (And it's not like we can move back to Pennsylvania, my dad's company wants him to run a store in New Jersey).
I don't think your dad was trying to be mean with the joke he told. I think he was trying to make you laugh and it came out all wrong. It is unfortunate but some dads jobs have them moving to where the work is or the alternative is the family stays in one spot and dad lives away from home for long periods of time.
Every family handles this type of work differently as does the requirements of the employers. Your parents and or dads employer have made the decision or made a requirement that the family will move when dad needs to be moved. The belief is children are more resilient and can deal with the changes easily.
Some children deal with these moves easier than others. Older children, teenager, have more trouble with moves than younger children because this is the age they start socializing in an this is when they form their social circles in school. Once these circles are formed it is hard for an outsider to break into them.
So far I've told you what you already know. Cutting is not going to make things any better. In fact parents are aware of how hard moving is on older children though they have to do what has to be done in order to provide for the family. I know somewhat of a contradiction here but keep reading.
Cutting is dangerous; you could cut in the wrong place or to deep and end up in the hospital or worse. Mom and dad will find out you are cutting eventually that I can promise you as an adult and a parent. You cut because you are hurting and depressed and you do not have to be either.
You can get help for your depression and mom and dad will learn how hurt you are by this latest move. I can't promise you they won't be angry they will be but mostly because they will be scared and they will be angry at themselves for not seeing this. Unfortunately you will be in the line of fire of the anger at first. They will calm down and they will do what needs to be done to help you. I doubt you can move back though maybe visits can be arranged. When next dads asked to move and you are even older he might ask to hold off on this move as it is too upsetting on his children to move at this time.
BY not being honest with your parents and getting yourself depressed to the point of cutting, you are hurting yourself and them. Sure from dads joke he knows you don't like to move but I don't feel he knows how deeply these moves may be hurting you.
My advice is to tell your parents about the cutting. They know cutting is a sign of depression. They will get you help for that. Be honest with them and tell them how deeply these moves hurt. What they may see is a happy young girl that doesn't like to move but makes friends easily. You need to tell them how you're really feel.
I'm 13 and I had sex a week ago and now I'm pregnant. I used condoms but I don't know what happened. I was due my period the day after but it still hasn't come and I have had many other symptoms. I did a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was just wondering whether u should have the baby or have an abortion but what happens in an abortion, what do they do?
Any help will be appreciated. Thanks for reading! Xx
I'm not sure I understand you so let me recap. If for no other reason than to make sure I understand what you wrote. We will leave out the lecture on sex at 13 for now or the question of how old the boy was.
You had sex on, let’s say Monday, and your period was due the next day, which would be Tuesday. You did a pregnancy test and it was positive. Is this correct so far?
IF so then there is something very wrong here. It is impossible to have sex one day and test positive for pregnancy the next day. What was shown would have to be a false positive unless you had sex prior to the sex you had on Monday. Did you have sex prior to Monday? IF so then it may be possible you’re pregnant. IF this was your first sexual experience while it is somewhat possible to be pregnant, if the condom broke or sperm somehow leaked out of it. The bigger chance is you are not.
At your age the bigger possibility for missing your period is your period is irregular at this time or is becoming irregular. Another reason is stress from worry over having had sex. Stress can cause a period not to happen.
Take another home pregnancy test. If it is again positive you have no choice but to tell your parents you are pregnant for you are too young to see a doctor on your own. You are also too young to make your own choice as to whether to keep the baby give it up for adoption or have an abortion. The decisions about what to do will legally be the right of your parents to make. Unfortunately you have no say in it and you will have to give up the name of the father as well.
Now if you are not pregnant, here comes the lecture, remember how you are feeling at this time. You are way too young to be having sex. If this boy is more than a year older than you he is using you and taking advantage of your immaturity to get from you what he can't get from girls his age.
I'm sure you love him. I'm just as sure he does not love you in the same way you love him. Boys his age have an entirely different definition of love which is more synonymous with lust. Boys his age will tell you anything you want to hear to get you to let them have sex with them. Boys need sex more than girls do it hormonal hence the word horny.
If you are fortunate enough not to be pregnant remember how you are feeling today. The next time a boy says something like, "If you love me you'll have sex with me. Tell him you do love him but not in that way. If he is horny tell him to go home and take care of himself.
I have chosen not to tell you what happens in an abortion as you have no say in the matter if your parents chose to make you have one. Why worry over something you have no control over.
Make double sure you are pregnant if so you will need to tell your parents
Good luck.
Hi I'm 34 years old,my period are very irregular and lasts 7 days.The last day of my period was on the 08 July and had unprotected sex with my partner on the 13 July.Do u think that I will get pregnant, because it would be welcomed
It really depends on when you ovulate. If you ovulate as most women do then you are safe. About 80% women ovulate between their 7th and 21St day of their cycle. Women who use the rhythm method of birth control refrain from sex during this time. The remaining percentage of women can ovulate at any during their cycle including during your period.
If you know when you ovulate then you will know if you were safe when you had unprotected sex. as I said if you ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of your period you are probably not pregnant. TO be sure taking a home pregnancy test should put your mind at ease. One of the biggest causes of missed periods is not pregnancy but stress over whether you may be pregnant or any other type of stress.
I recommend taking a home pregnancy test if for no other reason than to relieve the stress you have put yourself under.
How can i convince my girlfriend to have sex with me
Sorry pal but you cannot convince a girl to have sex with you. In fact if you have asked as girl to have sex with you and she has said no. You must stop asking.
To continue to ask her to have sex with you or to use a line such as, “If you love me you will have sex with me." THIS IS CONSIDERED SEXUAL HARRASMENT. THIS IS A FELONEY CHARGE FOR WHICH REGARDLDESS OF YOUR AGE YOU CAN BE CHARGED WITH. At one time underage males where not charges with sexual harassment. Today many prosecutors are charging males as young as 15 or 16 as adults and prosecuting them for sexual harassment.
When girls write to us and tell us they are being harassed for sex. We tell them to tell the boy no one more time. Then add that if he continues they will file a police complaint for sexual harassment.
Some girls have written back that some guys had to learn the hard way and they did need to go to the police. It’s not worth the hassle. If you need sexual relief masturbate. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is safe, it relieves sexual tension and you can do it in the privacy of your bedroom or morning shower. You won't go blind or grow hair in the palm of your hand or anything else you may have been told to keep you from masturbating.
According to a survey 85% of us masturbate, this would include your parents. IF you get a HJ it is a form of masturbation. So there is nothing wrong if you give yourself an HJ.
how do i address him about this? do i ignore it and pretend it never happened? what was he thinking about me laying my head in his lap that turned him on?
Young males get erections (boners) in two manners. They are either voluntary or involuntary erections.
The voluntary erection is simple to explain. IT is when he is preparing to have sex. Now that sex can be intercourse with someone, he is going to masturbate or if s significant other is going to perform some type of oral or manual stimulation to him, such as an HJ or BJ.
The involuntary erections are a little harder to explain for he has no control over them. They can happen and do happen for no reason at all, This is a problem of the younger male going through puberty has. At other times it may be some form of visual stimulation such as a girl walking down the street swaying her hips or you putting your head in his lap. He may not have been thinking anything but the visual of you head in his lap caused an involuntary erection.
Have you ever noticed in school boys walking with their binders in front of them. This is because they have gotten and involuntary erection and they cannot make it go down. I read someplace that boys can get a huge number of these type erections every hour.
As the other writer said you could ignore them or if you have a good relationship where you can talk about these things then you can say something.
I've worn a sports bra all the time (most) for about 2 or 3 years. There isn't a reason, I just feel more comfortable that way. However, I came across something that said that wearing a bra all the time can cause cancer. I won't wear it all the time anymore now, but I'm scared that I could have breast cancer or that I will. Advice please!
There is a lot of what are called "old wives tales" out there on many different subjects. These tales have no bases in fact. This tale you came across appears to be just another one of these "old wives tales."
The exact cause(s) of Breast Cancer is not known. What is known is it is more prevalent in women whose family has a history of Breast Cancer. Breast cancer occurs more frequently in white women than in black, Hispanic, or Asian women. But black women are more likely to get breast cancer at a younger age and are also more likely to die of breast cancer.
Late or no childbearing. Women who had their first child after the age of 30 have a greater chance of developing breast cancer than women who had their children at a younger age. Women who never had children have an increased risk for developing breast cancer.
Hormones. Female hormones play a part in some types of breast cancer. The use of estrogen-progestin hormone therapy after menopause for several years or more increases your risk of developing breast cancer. But within 5 years after you stop using combined therapy, your risk returns to normal. Long-term use of estrogen alone may increase your risk for breast and ovarian cancer.
Beginning menstruation before age 12 and beginning menopause later than age 55 increase a woman's risk of breast cancer. The years when you have a menstrual cycle are your high-estrogen years. Experts think that the longer you have higher estrogen, the more risk you have for breast cancer.
Having extra body fat and drinking alcohol both lead to higher levels of estrogen in the body. Especially after menopause, when your estrogen levels are naturally low, this raises your breast cancer risk.
The most positive or proactive thing you can for yourself is to learn the signs of early detection through self-examination. If you do not know how to examine your breast ask your doctor. Have regular checkups by your doctor. If something feels wrong let a doctor check it out.
Never, never assume it's nothing; my wife almost made that mistake when she found a small lump on her breast. It just so happened that when she found the lump she had an appointment with our family doctor and mentioned it to her. The lump turned out to be cancer and she had a mastectomy where upon examination in the lab a second tumor too small to be see in any other manner was found to be forming. My wife is now 5 years plus cancer free and considered a cancer survivor all because she had a scheduled doctor’s appointment and made mention to her doctor.
Learn to self-examine and if anything unusual is felt get to a doctor.
The information supplied above is from WEBMD http://answers.webmd.com/answers/1191009/what-increases-the-risk-of-getting
Hi there. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for several months now, (8 to be exact.)
I'll get straight to the point. So basically, I am her second boyfriend, and she's absolutely crazy about me. As of recent, she calls me her "partner" and soulmate. I feel extremely uncomfortable, and I don't feel the same way when she expresses these things. We have had arguments here and there, and when I suggest the thought of breaking up/leaving her. She starts crying, getting all emotions and saying things such as: "I don't want to ever lose you, I'd be in pain for the rest of my life, etc etc. I can't handle this anymore, and quite frankly, it's annoying. I'm afraid that if I break up with her, her parents will possibly take revenge on me. (Paranoid I know.) Seeing as I have a good relationship with them. Also, seeing as my girlfriend has her grade HSC trials (Here in Australia.) I don't want to leave her in a position where she stops functioning, and going to school.
What should I do?
I have to guess at your age as you have not given it so would I be correct if I said you were in an age group of somewhere between 14 and 17. If so my advice is to relax. Girls in this age group are often very emotional; it’s a hormonal thing that comes with puberty.
You said it yourself in the fact that you are her "second boyfriend." I'm sure she was absolutely crazy about her first boyfriend and possibly more so since he was a first. Teenage relationships are just that teenage relationships which in almost all instances are not meant to last.
This is a time where you build your relationship skills. Remember when you first started to ride a two wheeled bicycle. You dad put training wheels on it so you could stay upright and not fall off. Teenage relationships are a lot like that; relationships with training wheels to help you learn how to have a proper relationship with someone.
If this relationship is failing and in your eyes it is then it is time to move on. You take from this relationship the positives as well as the negatives and learn from them as you move on to the next relationship. Eventually when you are older you will find the person you want to make a life with.
Now in your own way you can use what I have just written to soften the fact that you want to end this relationship. Yes she will cry and say things as she has said but she will get over you as she did her first boyfriend. Her parents will be upset but they will not seek revenge because they are old enough like me to understand that these things happen in teenage relationships.
What I would suggest if possible and depending on how close her HSC trails are is if you can wait until after they are complete. In this way how those trials come out for her are all her own and she cannot blame you if she fails them.