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mom won't admit I'm scared of the dark.
I'm an 11 year old female
Even though it takes me an hour to go to sleep without a light source, and outside at night I'll start getting sick (she's witnessed this), and once I tried to talk to her, and said it was nyctophobia, she only laughed and said it's not a phobia. She also tries to fix it on her own. The problem is, she thinks she could fix it, but she isn't trained to do it,I know I need a psychologist or something like that, but she refuses to admit it. She is all like,“common, (my name), you never had this before!" When really,I did. I remember I had several night lights. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
If your mother is refusing to get the proper treatment for you, try talking to someone else about it. Is there another trusted adult in your life? Another family member or a teacher or counselor at your school. It is mental abuse for a mother to ignore their child if there could be something wrong with them and the mother won't try to fix it.
~Best of Luck!
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In this instance both you and your mom are somewhat correct. This is a common phobia that usually is found in younger children and generally clears on its own as children get older and learn there is no boogeyman. In your case there may be a reason you are having anxiety attacks at bedtime and at night.
You probably did have this problem as a young child. Did it ever go away. If it did and has since returned then something has happened to cause it. It could be some type of trauma, not an injury type but something you saw or read. It could also be something someone has said to you that has scared you.
Based on what you have written that about what mom said and the night lights you had. I believe at one time when you were much younger you had the normal night time phobias of young children. This is why mom said what she said we parents have a tendency to forget the normal things.
since you cannot talk to your mom or she is not willing to listen to you. Is it possible you could talk to your grandparents or possibly a favorite Aunt or Uncle who would then talk to mom for you. Other than that the only other thing I can say to you is to deal with this until mom takes you for your back to school physical and then tell the doctor. You are old enough now that mom doesn't have to be in the exam room with you and you can ask her to wait in the waiting room. It will be just you the doctor and if it is a male doctor his nurse so you can talk freely to him or her. Then tell the doctor about this and let the doctor talk to mom.
If your school system is not like mine and does not require back to school physicals. Then when you return to school go talk to the school nurse.
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Hi there. You seem pretty clued-in already. Yes it is a form of phobia. And the nature of a phobia is that nobody can simply talk and reason you out of them with a 'don't be so silly...there is nothing to be scared of' type approach. A phobia lives locked away in the subconscious part of our mind which even we ourselves cannot speak to directly and does not really respond to reason and argument. Which is where psycho-analysis often has a much stronger, but less direct 'key' (if you like) to unlock it. But before you insist on psychiatric help, mum has a great deal of wise words here. It is a common fear, and in most cases it does resolve itself in a reasonably short time. The reason being that you will tend to sleep during the hours of darkness, day after day, over and over again. You can't avoid it. Your school, later your job and so on...are all open by day. We sleep at night. And the sheer weight of repetition, each time you awake and find the subconscious fears have not manifested themselves in anything real or harmful...you weaken the phobia. It has less hold on you. Then before you really know it, the fear is not there anymore. Matter of fact humans are all less sure of themselves and less confident in the dark. It is entirely natural. We first lit fires and now have our towns and cities brightly lit all night with electric lights. We nearly all feel the back of our necks prickle if we find ourselves in that 'dark alley' at night where the streetlights are not working. I know I do mate!! So top marks for identifying the issue in yourself, and for having a better idea about subcoscious anxieties that many much older people have. But just be a little patient with this particular phobia. It has every chance of sorting itself out. No shrink required!! XX
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Hey there, Common! Sorry you are experiencing this...it seems really uncomfortable. What do you mean you get 'sick'? Do you feel nauseous? Or anxious? Has any trauma occurred in your life that you think caused this? I would first see a doctor just in case. I think it would be a great idea to talk to a psychologist too. That's too bad your mom isn't taking you seriously; that can be frustrating. Especially if she's trying to fix it on her own. Can you talk to your dad?
If not, I would sit your mom down and tell her: "Mom, I am concerned about this and I think I would feel a lot better if I got checked out by a doctor. I know you mean well, but I would appreciate it if you took this more seriously. I know this may be nothing serious at all but I just want to make sure." And hopefully that will be enough.
If and when you see your doctor, tell them that you may want to speak to a psychologist. They can provide you with resources. :) Good luck, Common. I really hope your mom listens! Try and talk to your dad too.
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