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Future Mother-in-law problems
I am engaged to the most wonderful woman I could ever be blessed with. We are planning to get married in December. Now the problem is her mom. She's the youngest of three and she lives with her mom to help take care of her. Her mom is pretty stubborn and she needs to have canned Pepsi, cigarettes, and weed. My fiance pays for all of that despite the fact that she works part time for minimum wage. Her mom doesn't take that into consideration and will go thru her stuff so fast. Leaving my fiance with no money. I'm scared we won't be able to get our own place at this rate. Her mom will already make her feel guilty for moving out. I try to tell her to put her foot down so we can save money but she says there's no point. She's stressed and struggling and I hate seeing her this way. Especially since its her mom. I feel like it's putting a strain on our relationship. What should I do to save our love?
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This statement: mom is pretty stubborn and she needs to have canned Pepsi, cigarettes, and weed.... doesnt tell me enough about Mom and whats really going on with her. Is she not working, or unable to work because she is handicapped in some way or too ill? I would think Pepsi, tobacco and weed to be the least of her needs. If a person has a roof over their heads, food in their stomach and clothes on their back then the basic needs are taken care of. If ill or disabled, there are government agencies set up to help people like her, unless a relative were licensed by the state to be paid by the state to be moms full time caregiver, there are places to go for help. She is just not wanting the last child to leave the nest. I'd want mom to get a mental check up to see if everythings okay in that area. If you are marrying into this, you cant avoid it cus it will become your concern too.
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For right now I would suggest that you shelve any discussion about what to do with the mother of your bride to be until after the wedding. Your Bride to be is under enough stress just planning her own wedding, she doesn't need any additional stress. Just tell her this is something that will have to be addressed after the wedding by the two of you and her two siblings.
As I see it her two siblings are being grossly unfair in not sharing the financial responsibilities for their mother. What you can and should do today, unless you live in a state that has recently decimalized weed, is you tell your future mother in-law that your bride is no longer going to pay for her weed or provide it to her. She will have to meet with the dealers and pay for it herself starting today. That is something I think you and your bride can agree upon if she is doing the supplying. You can't get married if she is caught buying moms weed and sent to jail.
After the wedding you sit down with the two sibling for a talk. What I would tell them is that their free ride is over. If they have not been sharing in the financial burden then its their turn to take on the responsibility while you and your wife get you life together settled and on a firm financial footing. They have had that opportunity and now it is her turn.
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