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Gender:

Female

Location:

Kansas

Occupation:

House wife, Mother, Local Loon

Age:

35

Member Since:

July 15, 2006

Answers:

3333

Last Update:

March 11, 2013

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hitler_the_goat

about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

I plan on getting my penis pierced on my 18th birthday. im 15 now, so i gotta while. i dont know WHYY i want to do this, but i think it'll deffinitely be an experience.

anyways. my questions are:

1. If you've had it done, do you regret it?
2. What are the odds of it getting infected?
3. How long must i have it pierced for it not to close up?

any other information would be appreciated. please do not refer me to google or another search engine as any search with the word penis or penile comes up to have some very disturbing links.

I just have to say- Oh, you brave soul. It makes my penis hurt to think about it, and I don't even have one because I'm a girl! OUCH!

Seriously, now. For your second and third questions, I suggest calling the professionals. Many different websites can say many different things. Which information should you trust?

Better yet, go in to the place where you plan to have it done and ask them for an information sheet, which if they are reputable, they will have many on hand. Also, discuss any questions or concerns with them.

I'm 15/f. I'd like to say I understand the people at my school but I can't. It seems as if all anyone cares about is getting drunk and having sex. It annoys me so much, I just don't understand why most of the girls seem like (in lack of a better word) sluts and all the guys are just pigs. My question is how do I put up with all of this when it's right in my face every day?

Thanks in advance...
-Puzzled

Dear Puzzled:

My life's mottos are these:
Always dare to be different.
Always take pride in my unique individuality.
I am not above anyone, but I can strive to be above their actions.

That is the best way I know to cope with the actions of others.

my lips are ALWAYS chapped and peeling and even below my lips the skin is dry. i put carmex and other chap sticks on all the time but nothing seems to work. is there any thing i can do?

During the cold months, I have problems with dry skin, including my lips. The best thing I found to work was Blistex.
I never tried the Vaseline, so I can't tell you if it works, but I'm sure it does. I never tried it because my lips absorb the Blistex, but I would figure Vaseline would make them greasy.

f/14 i just broke up with my boyfriend last night because yesterday jeremy that i have been liking way before me and raheem hooked up told me that he wanted to go out with me i said no because you are stupid!!!! because the time when i asked him out he told me no because he thought i was crazy but the real reason was that i already had a boyfriend and i practice being faithful so i didnt want so tell him yes while i was still going out with raheem so yesterday
i went ova there and i had on a granny hat and jeremy and tevin and them made fun of it so i brung it home and then i walked back over there jeremy came outside and i was trying to tell him what had happened and he didnt want to listen he was like you calld me stupid yesterday and now you want to talk to me now and i was like i had to do somthing last night i need to tell you and he was like noo i was stupid yesterday but today u want to talk to me today i was like but i really had to do somthing and he was like mann talk to me tomorrow or monday its too late now and i was like today is late but tomorrow and monday is earlier and he was like noo it would be better tommorrow or monday because i am with my peeps so.......... HE SHUT THE DOOR IN MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!! but i had break up with raheem first!!!!! do u think when i tell him he will understand?? or you think i shouldnt even worry about telling him??????? .

**Answer Edit** Either you were only looking to hear what you WANTED, or the truth hurts. ;D

Boy, o boy.
Why didn't you just be truthful and tell him you had a boyfriend, and would have to break up with him first?

See where dishonestly gets you? He would have been far more understanding if you had just told him the truth. He will likely not be so understanding when he finds out you lied to him.

Healthy relationships have two important keys- honesty and trust. You have already started it off on the wrong foot. You were dishonest, and how is he going to know he can trust you?

Not to sound like an a**hole, but I would have shut the door in your face, too, for telling me no because you thought I was crazy.

okay,
so im going to a music fesival in june, and i have to camp for approximatly a week. i am due to start my period half way through that week. so is there anyway that i can prevent my period just for that month? otherwise it will make things very difficult. or have i left it too late? (im from the UK)

any help is greatly appreciated.
thanks xXx

Birth control is, as far as I know, the only thing that will effect your period like that, but if I understand correctly from my own research, it doesn't really make it lighter, shorter, or skip months until you've been taking it for several months.
But I'm not totally for sure if all of the above is exactly factual, so you may want to research those options yourself, rather than taking solely my word for it.

As for just making it skip a month? No. Ain't happening. It's one of those things your body does that is out of your control.

I want my nose peirced soo bad. ma mum sid i can have it done 4 my bday but my dad said no. He says its not cause of ma age but he dont like em so im not havin it doen . I know this may sound silly but i am very upset about this cause i KNOW i cant have it done but i want it soo bad. PLease help !

My dad wouldn't let me, either. I waited until I was 18 to do it. May seem like a long time, but once you're 18, you can legally choose to do such things on your own.
Under 18, you have to have a parent go with you to give the go-ahead.

So I'm 14/f and my fried is 15/f. I love her to death. I've known her forever and I would never abandon her.

She suffers from depression and is on 'happy pills' but she told me that she doesn't think that they are working b/c she calls her bf of a year a few times every month at night with her suicidal ideas. And then there's the whole body image thing. She's 5' 3" and 98lbs--underweight, I know. I did the BMI thing. But she still thinks that she's fat & sometimes doesn't eat saying that she is 'not hungry' when she skipped dinner the night before and breakfast. Then there is her sister--she's very close to her family and I don't mind that. What I do mind, however, is her sister [18/f]. She basically smokes pot & just does a lot of [random] guys. She's not the picture perfect sister to look up to [although she seems very nice and cool].

Anyways, her mom wants to send her to a nutritionist [dieting issue] but hasn't yet. But that's not the main question. I want to bring into her parent's attention that jer medicine isn't working sometimes and I'm afriad that she is going to hurt herself someday. And I'm afriad that she'll get dragged into the drug world and what not. I'm just really worried about her and I want to help her but I don't know what to do...I mean I doon't wanna be super friend and straighten out everything but I'm just afraid that I might lose her one day

I'm sorry, but caring about your friend and trying to help her with her current problems and potential problems is not being nosey at all.

YES. Bring your concerns to the attention of her parents.

I have been single for about four months and it is starting to get old. There is this guy I have liked for awhile now but Its not getting anywhere. We have had sex with eachother even tho I know we shouldnt have because its just a tease. I want to make him want me but I`m not sure how. Please give me some ideas? I want him to want me as much as I want him.

I will rate high for good detaild advice!

I've said it before and I will say it again: Making someone change their feelings is as easy as changing the past.

In short- you can't.

So I like this guy in my class that im friends with, but i also have a boyfriend that i rly cant break up with due to complicated reasons i dont want to get into. I just cant break up with him. not now anyway. Problem is i REALLY like this guy in my class, a lot and i want to go out with him. i just cant break up with my bf.i think the guy likes me and im afraid if i wait too long he's going ot get over me. what shud i do?

I don't understand why anyone "just can't" break up with someone. I know you have your reasons, but I've never heard of a reason valid enough to warrant not being able to break off a relationship to seek someone who may make you happier.
But, to each his own...

If you "just can't" break up with your current boyfriend, then you have to just let the other guy go on with his life with someone who isn't spoken for.
You leave yourself no other moral choice in the matter.

Cheating should never be an option- there is too much of that going on in this world as it is, and it does nothing but get everyone hurt.

my brother had this little tiny paper bag in his car which is now my car, the little container paper bag, is all different colors and it has like indian? writing printed on it, and all different colors, at first i thought it was a fire work, but i opened it, and it had a whole bunch of rolled sticks, kind of like joints but pretty small, but instead of like white paper there wrapped in like a dry green leaf, and i can feel something inside them, are they joints? or something else? , please only answer if you know what your talking about, or have messed with drugs before?

I can't tell you what exactly he has in this paper bag, but I can tell you that there are cigars wrapped in dried tobacco leaves. They are green.

Well, it's been, like, eight months since I've been dating this guy, Dane. He's really sweet and funny... And he's my second boyfriend, so this is kind of big for me to have been dating someone for so long like this.

The farthest we've been is holding hands, and we used to hold hands all the time at basketball games and stuff, in front of all of our friends. People would laugh and make fun of us, but we would just laugh along because in our minds, we both know they have never felt like this before.

Well, when we first began going out, he used to tell some of his friends (who told me) that he was going to kiss me soon, but that never happend. Now, he doesn't even hold my hand anymore like he used to. I'm just afraid; is he embarrassed? Is he scared? Or is he just not very interested in me anymore as much as he used to be?

You should really be asking him these questions.
You have been together for 8 months. That is plenty of time for you to start discussing your feelings about things.
You could just kiss him. You know he wants to, because his friends have told you that he does.

I find that I am full of things to say and write, yet I never feel I give good advice, and I am almost lacking in critiqueing (sp?) skills. I have alot to say but I feel I am just hurting myself by not starting to give advice or at least make attempts to critique pieces of artwork.

where can I take a start to begin giving some advice, I want to get better and eventaully be able to verbalize exactly how I feel about a particular piece (even though a large part of me will almost always see and understand what is going on, I take a subjective view and can just "understand")

any advice? :-P thanks ahead of time

Get a column here if you don't have one.
But realize, that just because someone rates you down and thinks you give bad advice doesn't mean that you are.

I just tell people the truth. Most people seeking advice are teens, and I just tell them exactly what I would tell my own son when he reaches that age.

If you understand where they are coming from, you can share with them your own experiences, what you did right, what you did wrong, etc. Or if you haven't experienced it, you can tell them what you would do if in their shoes.

And, when you give advice, don't cut them down and call them names or be rude- here or anywhere else. Like I said, advise them like you would someone you care a lot about.

i submitted this question once already but it like didn't go through so i fixed it up a bit..

alright well..

one of my friends has very strict parents. so they were looking at her search history and found her myspace. they also found mine.

i'm not aloud to have a myspace. my parents made it very clear that if i had one, i'd be in deep trouble. i wouldnt be allowed on the computer for a long time and when i am allowed to my parents would watch my every move. so on AIM, i cant talk to anyone about private stuff.

i deleted my account already but i dont know what to do. my friends dad said hes going to tell my parents. her dad is going to say he saw it a few days ago so there's no hiding that i actually did have one.

i really don't know what to do. i don't want to get in trouble and loose my computer rights. last resort would be to come clean but i don't want to have to do that. i need to get out of this situation. i really need help, and FAST!! please, does anyone have any advice?

thank you sooooooooooooooo much. you dont know how incredibly bad i need advice.

Just to let you know, parents aren't as dumb as most kids think they are.

Guess what? If you lie about it or try to cover up the truth to make yourself look innocent, then you parents are going to be way more angry with you when they get to the bottom of the whole thing. The angrier they are, the worse your punishment will be.

I told this to someone else, I will tell you as well:
If my mother told me not to have a myspace, or whatever, and I defied her by having one anyway, when she found out about it, she would have thrown the computer out the window and into the driveway.
She would have then proceeded to back over it then drive over it. She would have done this repeatedly so she knew damn good and well I never disregarded her rules again.

Go ahead. Ask her yourself. She goes by the handle of younggrandma.

i have my boy friends myspace password. i accidently signed on his and saw that he had a new message. i read it. it was him and this girl have cyber sex. i know i shouldnt have been reading his messages because that is personal. but do i have a right to be mad at him? and what should i so about it?

No. Not really.
You should do nothing.
He broke your trust and you did the same to him. The only difference is, you know that he broke your trust.

See, this is how it is- though he is doing wrong by you on the internet, you had no business using his password and reading his messages.
Sorry, dear, but you invaded his privacy. If you wouldn't have fallen under temptation, you wouldn't have know about it.

I'm not saying he isn't doing wrong, but I am saying you did wrong as well.

I would strongly advise you never do this again.

eh my stomach has been hurting really bad i dont get my period for another 15 days or so. But this morning i got really sick and ended up waking up at 5am and throw up for like 10 mins. I layed around all day and couldnt get up i feel horrible. Whats wrong with me am i pregant?

I don't recall ever having my stomach hurt during my pregnancy. In fact, lower abdominal pain during pregnancy is a warning sign.

If you are worried about being pregnant, wait until you are 2 weeks late for your period and take a test. I say 2 weeks, because if you are a teen, you should give it some time since your cycle isn't likely regulated.
Also, when you get a result on the test, you will know it is most likely as accurate as it can be.
You have to allow a little time for the pregnancy hormone to fully show up in your urine for the test to read accurately.

You may want to see your doctor if it continues.

Okay so I was talking to this guy from school last night and he just so happens to be the hottest guy in the grade. We've talked a few times in school but we aren't tight or anything.

So this is how the conversation went:

(after like an hour of talking)
Me: Im so bored. My life needs some excitement. ANYTHING.
Him: You need a boyfriend.
Me: Yeah but they're no decent guys around.
Him: Yes there is *lists a few including his name*

...and the conversation went on.

So I was just curious to see how this looks. Would you say he was interested in me? Or was it just a random topic he brought up?

Please be honest.

If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have slipped his name into the list all sly like that.

ok so me and my best guy friend have been friends with benefits for 3weeks now. nobody knows. while joking around with a friend i said that i was doing things with my guy friend and they took the joke too seriously and questioned him about it and he thought i told my friend everything. he flipped out on me even though i said i was joking. now i really like my guy friend as more than a friend and more than a friend with benefits and last night i told him and it seems that ever since i told him things have just been going downhill. i flipped out on him through a text and told him that i had alot on my mind and that i was sorry but i needed him to just bare with me and he hasn't answered me back yet. i dont know what to do. i keep screwing up and im not meaning to and i dont know how to make it right. i keep yelling at him and all i want to do is just kiss him and tell him how much i really really like him. i just spent half an hour crying my eyes out just to send him a text that he didnt answer to. it is possible that he doesnt have his phone on him because sometimes he leaves it in his room. please help me

Big lesson learned: Never tell your friends what is secretly going on with someone else, even if you were joking like it wasn't true.

I can't tell you how to fix this, but I can tell you how to do better next time.

Best bet? Don't discuss such matters via phone, text or IM. ALWAYS talk about it in person.
Personal matters, such as explaining about the joking, or telling him your feelings should be said face to face. It's so impersonal to discuss it any other way. Also, you will know for fact if he is listening or ignoring.

Okay I want kids when I grow up. But we just watched a movie in biology class that showed everything that happens when a woman gives birth... what I want to know is if it really hurts as much as it looked like it did. Right now I'm thinking of adopting because there is no way that I would ever want to do that and also I hate throwing up so the whole morning sickness wouldn't work for me. I'm only 16 and I don't want to have sex/have babies until I'm married, this is just something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Thanks

Yah. It hurts. But I promise you this: once you see that baby, you forget about it hurting so bad because it was all worth it.
To me, there is nothing more amazing than looking at my son and realizing I took part in creating him. There is nothing like that feeling I get from that.

I've bee dating this guy for a logn time now, almost a year and a half. And it seems I kind of have trust issues. I hate when he hangs out with other girls. I mean, things have happened in the past(he cheated on me), but that was so long ago. I think I may have issues all together, I mean with guys. Soemtime I even hate to hear that my exes have new girlfriends! it drives me nuts. what can i do? please help.

Tiff

Well, as for your exes, there is nothing you can really do about them having new girlfriends, so the only thing you can do about that is to put them in your past where they likely belong.

As for your current boyfriend, all I can say is that you can't have a healthy relationship without trust and honesty.

Honestly? If it was more than 6 months ago and you can't put it behind you and completely forgive him, then you likely never will. By completely forgive, I mean you won't fret about him hanging out with other girls- he has regained your trust and you have shut the door on it.

If you can't completely forgive him, then, sadly, you are wasting your time and his. Your relationship cannot grow, because you still have that mistrust.

I can't tell you what to do. You have to decide if you will finally put it behind you and move on, or break it off with him and move on. Either way is, or can be painful, I know. Either you chance that he will hurt you by cheating again, or you deal with the hurt of the break up.

Only you know what is the best decision for you in this situation.

I'm seventeen - my boyfriend is eighteen. In the country where we live (the UK), we're both over the age of consent and we've been together for well over a year.
My boyfriend still lives at home. The other day, his parents cleaned out his room when he was away.
He only found out yesterday that his condoms are missing and is confused as to why they haven't brought it up with him. He initially thought that they'd been tidied, but he's looked everywhere and hasn't found them.
Is it me or is this somewhat out of order? My own personal opinion is that they've been taken in order to start a conversation - but, if so, why haven't they done that yet? His parents appear to me to be very normal, caring people so I find this worryingly out of character. I am also somewhat peeved that they've left us temporarily without birth control after taking about twenty condoms, which, due to my latex allergy, means that we can't have sex until they've been replaced (and they're not exactly cheap).
Could you please enlighten to me as to what on earth they're thinking?

I agree with you opinion- they probably want to talk to him about it. It's likely that they are just as unsure as he is about how to bring it up. Either that, or they are wanting him to come to them about it.

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