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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Stage name

If you are playing only one kind of drum mainly, perhaps choose a name that starts with the sound of the type of drum

for example Jumboliah Djembe or Bongo Blitzer or Conga Cougar.

If that's not up your alley, then keep in mind that lots of stage names if in a band are your normal name, its just the band name that is wild, like this list of the internet:

http://www.philbrodieband.com/music_names_band-names-crazy-funny.htm

While you can't use a name already used, you can come up with one equally strange, usually two words that don't go together and mean nothing.
An example is a group I listen to called "Elephant Revival" and theres nothing to do with Elephants or Revival, same for Honey Dewdrops, no mention of Honey or dewdrops in any song.

So it would be an almost endless list of suggestions you could get from here and it still won't sound right to you, it needs to be something that catches your attention first, you have to like it first before others will accept you under that name.

Its actually quite easy. For example pick a color, then an animal and pair the two for a stage name. I choose blue and squirrel. Hmm, Bluesquirrel would make a good stage name. Try a name for a couple days calling yourself that each time you are alone or look in a mirror. Can you get used to it or does it feel like it doesnt fit? Try for another name and use it a couple days until you settle on one. Hope this helps. Good luck.

12 year old female. I live in the suburbs, but it's like right outside NYC. I've been to the city many times before. I haven't had much experience with rural areas but the more rural places I have been are so much better! There isn't any intensely loud noises from traffic, you can see the stars at night unlike here where the city's building lights and advertisements outshine them so you can only see the moon, planes and a few stars, there's animals other than squirrels, dogs, cats, pigeons and ducks, lots of diffirent plants, and trees, along with a lot of cool geographical features like rivers, lakes, hills. Yet people who live in rural areas want to go to the city and complain about where they are living. Why?

This is one thing that seems to apply to the majority of humans, not all though. There are plusses and minus's to living in both area's, rural or big city. It's when one persons benefits about one area become the very reason others find the same reasons a problem that people make a move.

Sometimes it more of fairy tale thinking, that the grass (or situation) is always greener (better) on the other side of the fence. When people haven't really given any thought or hammered out the details in their mind, that we tend to make a quick snap decision to go somewhere we haven't been before simply cus we are bored and want a change of life. That is not the best reason to move,, even from a rural setting to a big noisy dirty, crowded city. Often if not thought out well before, we can find we have only traded one set of problems for another and the new set is worse personally than the last set.
I'm with you, rural living is my preference. The biggest problem is being able to find a way to sustain yourself out there. Too many can't find work rural and must then travel into the city.
Or the elderly who need a hospital or Dr. nearby do not want to have to travel 2 hours just to see a Dr. The last drawback I heard from living extremely rural for 2 years, is that there is no choices for shopping, you are stuck with the local Mom and Pop grocery and have to order all your clothes, furniture and such out of catalogs and delivered. It takes special people who can live both the rural life or the city life. I want rural but major roads close enough so I can get to a store or Dr in about 1/2 hr. 45 min. tops.
You'll have to bide your time dear until you're an adult and can choose where to go. In the meanwhile, perhaps you can talk to the parents about sending you each summer to summer camp someplace rural. Once you get to be an older teen, you might still go but as a camp helper or counselor.

Plz don't judge. I am a 14yr old fem with a basically impossible to control sex drive. I want to know how to get like a vibrator and lube without being embarrassed. I don't want to look in my parents room cos she knows ALL and I just want one of my own cos its kinda unhygienic and im not even sure she has one and also what's a dildo? Help greatly appreciated.

I know how its embarrassing in the beginning when one has anything sexuality related to learn and how talking to parents is the hardest. If your mom isn't open to talk about sex, then I wouldn;t ask her. If not, MOm is the best choice to go purchase you a vibrator. A dildo is either a slender object or penis shaped one you can insert and move it to mimic sex. Personally, I get more out of a vibrator shaped as a dildo as you can choose to use the tip of it on just your clit for orgasms or to have inside vibrating or not. And many come with different speeds of vibration.
The reason you can't go into a sex toy shop is a law about minors not allowed where x rated movies are sold, its not really about lube and toys.

If you have a cousin who is legally an adult now, talk to her and ask her about getting one for you, or maybe an aunt you are close to and can talk about anything.
If not, girls have been inventive and purchased regular body vibrators to use on just the clit. They are not made to be waterproof or may have edges that can scratch. But lots of females have started out with using anything that vibrates, like the body massagers in the drug store, Spencer gifts has been known to sell one or two and its more of a oddity store with gag gifts so you could actually purchase one there. Or last resort, I've heard of gals who use the vibrating toothbrush without the brush part

I am a gal who is a virgin and I love my boyfriend .he spoils me very much and we love each other,it is 4 years now seens we have been dating and he is the only person who understand me better than my friend .he is a really nice guy he never been violence to me nor anyone. we spend time maybe three times a week .I am always at school lot of the times. I never loved any guy like this before. he is 4 years older than me but I love him unconditionally, he never force him self to me seens we have dated .I told him that I am not ready for sex he understand and always patient with me.he suggested anal sex because I don't want to have sex ,what I want to know is will a loose my virginity while having anal sex?? I love this guy but I need advice

Virginity is all about a girl not allowing a man to enter her vagina so she can't become pregnant. Men didn't have to be virgins cus they can't get pregnant. So back in times when there was no birth control yet or paternity tests to know who the father was, it was crucial for a female to remain a virgin. There is no reason other than religious ones in todays time to remain a virgin. But if you still want to be a virgin, the term virgin basically means untouched by man or as in a virgin forest, a place where no human foot has ever walked. So I suppose it really is all about how you interpret the word virgin dear. Some people consider it to mean intercourse, which is penis in the vagina sex from which you can become pregnant.
Since the anus is not connected to the vagina in any way, and theres no way to become pregnant that way other than liquid leaking out and running the short gap over to your vagina and in, most feel anal sex is okay and you don't lose your virginity. If you take the word literally "untouched" would to me mean that no man had ever touched you in any sexual way as well. No fingering or oral sex which you also can't get pregnant from unless there is live cum with sperm on the fingers from earlier play.
I tend to go with the sex of any kind including orgasms idea because after all, there is no way to answer the next question if only intercourse makes you lose virginity.

Question: At what point do two lesbians or two gay men lose their virginity? Neither couple can have penis in vagina sex and toys don't count here cus remember its about getting pregnant. Gay people enjoy sex as much as hetero's, they just may go about it differently than we do to get the same results of pleasure.
So the question you need to ask yourself if you dont know why, is why you don't want to have sex?

Sex is very important to a relationship being one part of a two fold foundation to a relationship.
One is being each others closest best friend which seems that you already have. Unfortunately, many couples marry who are each others best friend but they are not a good match sexually and may not have close to the same pheremones. A good match needs both. The issue you might face at some point in the future is one of these two if you chose to not have sex until after a wedding.
YOu discover you can't stand the smell or taste of him, you both have differeing libido's and one wants a lot more than the other, or what one wants to experiment with or enjoys the other doesnt like at all. Or you have sex enough to get pregnant but since you hate sex with husband, you stop and push him away after last kid, or one or the other cracks first, wanting romance and sexual fullfillment but not having it in the marriage cus they are not a complete match, so you go outside the relationship for sexual needs.

All I am warning is that at some point, you either decide if he is also the right sexual partner for you or not, before marriage or before spending many more years with him.
If its been 4 years with no sex, my tendency would be to wonder if something is wrong with him. Yes its good that a guy doesnt force himself on the gal but if she isn't feeling sexually aroused and attracted to him with a building desire to do something about it after that long, it may be that he is only right for her on the friendship level, not the sexual one.
Also, could it be that he comes from a family that is biased against gays and he feels that way but couldn't live with himself if he were to acknowledge it so he is determined to have a relationship with a female to prove it wrong, that he is hetero. It isn't whom you force yourself to be in relationship with that makes you gay or hetero, but how you were born wired inside. If he can go 4 years without sex, my guess is something if off on his side.
If this is only about not getting pregnant, then ask yourself why you haven't gone to Dr. to get on birth control. That would be the natural course right now. If you'd like to discuss contraception with me, let me know, otherwise, it's your decision on whether to have anal sex.
It isn't going to be pleasant if you are uptight about sex in general as you will be tightly controlling the sphincter muscle that it would be hard for him to enter. Unless lots of your sensitve tissues are on the back wall of your vagina next to the anal passage, then you may not enjoy it as much as possible. More women have orgasms from the clit worked on which doesnt require penis in vagina sex, and secondly orgasms come for the G spot about 2 inches in on the top side/belly button side of vagina, then lastly, theres an A spot right infront of the cervix at the back also on the upper side which depending on the angle of the penis and the angle of the vagina is harder to hit than the other.

I've had anal sex but didn't find it did anything for me and it tended to mess up my ability to go to the bathroom normally for the next day or two, not worth it for me. YOu may enjoy it but it shouldn't be the only thing you are doing sexually with each other. In the end, its what you are ready for. YOu may find yourself not ready simply cus you don't know much about or what to expect. That can be remedied with studys on both male and female genetalia and how it works, how one achieves orgasm, how to prevent pregnancy choices, etc..... and I may be able to help with that if you ask.

I'm 20/f and I'm worried about my twin sister.

She has had a really bad year in terms of losing different jobs for different reasons and also she doesn't seem to be able to make and keep up with friends.
We're turning 21 next week and having a meal out . I've invited mu friends from uni and the one friend my twin has can not come because it's too late for her to get home. So she won't have any friends there.
We're both pretty shy but I've learnt to come out of my shell since being at uni. She has also lived away from home at a different uni and has struggled to make any friends.
I think it's because when we were growing up I was always the one who made friends with people and she'd just tag along.

I feel sorry for her...she's always posting on social media how down she feels. It's clear to me she wants to make friends but she doesn't know how. Im ok with her bwing friends with my friends... but also i'd like her to make the effort herself and build her own group up as my friends are not really like her.

She is a lovely girl , but is very shy in social situations and I've also observed tells new people (my friends) alot on the first meeting -almost too much ya know? I think she just needs to 'get' how to socialise and what to say etc then she'll be fine. she goes to a dance club but friendships don't extend outside of the classes each week.
How can I help her become confident and make friends and ultimately be happy? Because I can't be happy knowing she's struggling. Thanks!

Would you agree that changing to becoming less shy and over outgoing, self confident and such is a change for the better? Of course. But the tricky thing is that the only change that happens involving a person, change for the better, can't happen because someone else has held someones hand and gone with them through the process, showing them the way.
Theres a saying that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

The principle here is that you can show her all the tricks how to make friends herself. Just like showing the horse water. But like the horse, she needs to be ready to admit she doesnt have friends, like the horse realizing it is thirsty, and the next step would be to want to do whatever it takes to slake that thirst, which for the horse means drinking the water unless it realizes it smells and looks off, and could make him sick if he drank it.

Same for sis, she needs to want to gain friends and also be picky enough to not go for just any old person but only those who are right for her as a real true friend and won't be hurtful to her.

There is a lot of good self help out there in books and maybe there are some good you tube videos as well. The best thing you can tell her is that she needs to become the kind of person she would like to have for a friend. This would include, having a friend who likes to have a chance to share whats going on with them, not just hearing about you. This is alot like placing yourself in the other persons shoes. So this would mean sis has to work on first asking others about themselves and being willing to listen, really listen and care so she can offer suggestions or help or just a hug, and then later, take the time to talk about herself.

And it would be a good idea if she agrees she wants to work on this, to go get some good books.
Doesnt sound like she has exactly what I suffered in HS, extreme social anxiety. If thats the case, then the book "When anxiety attacks" may be of help. But I sense its more about how to conversationalize with people and there are books for that. GO shopping together, ask someone at bookstore regarding what you're looking for and they will show you a couple books. Pay heed to the section thats its found in, most likely a self help section and start looking at the other books as well. Then read it together and you can then help her to actively work on chapter at a time as you invite her out to hang with you and your friends.

28/f, 27m. We've been together for a bit more than a year.
I posted this question awhile back, if you'd like background: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=659929

Basically, I have concluded that for whatever reason, things aren't right, and I need to end this relationship. Problem is, I've tried three times to do so, and every time either I push him into saying what I want to hear, or he talks me back into his arms.
But, AskAuntEmma was right - if I loved him, I would accept him for who he is AS he is. It's not right that I want him to change. I think it's almost that he was so close to what I thought my ideal partner was... I thought on some level if I pushed him, he could be that. But all he can be is, in fact, himself. I am beyond grateful for what he's done for me, what he's helped me through and how he's supported me, but he isn't what I want or need in a romantic life partner.

So... I want to give him the respect of doing this face-to-face. But I'm afraid I'll end up back in his arms again. The LAST thing I want to do is string him along and make it worse.

In a situation like this, how do I make sure that I don't chicken out?

It's all a mental process. Right now your thoughts of wanting to be free of him are not strong enough, same as your not being in love. You may be subconsciously fighting your conscious mind and not know it. While your awake mind may be saying, I need to break up for good, your subconscious is arguing, "But it is scary to find someone new and more right for me. What if I don't find anyone? I'm more comfortable with a known factor than something new." So it may take as much as having a good convo with yourself, not us or anyone else, just yourself. Find a place you can do so aloud without anyone thinking you're a crazy person for talking to yourself. Then talk to yourself as if there are two of you inside. Explain to yourself why you don't want to stay and what is not right. Then ask your self, why you are fighting so desperately to hold on to him, to change him into what you want.

You need to know first what fears you are facing deep inside before you can work this out for yourself. Your two minds are basically playing tug of war with you. It is a very real situation psychologists know of, one fighting against themselves, being your own worst enemy so to speak.
If you knew the fact that the only person you have the power to change for the better is yourself and you can't force anyone else to change to exactly what you want....is that enough for you to give up and let him go for good? I would hope so. But I beleive there are some buried fears deep inside you have to discover and then acknowledge but tell your sub self that you are not going to accept him as he currently is and since you can't change him as a person, that you need to let him go. YOu don't want to settle for less than what works best for you. Now along those lines, imagine yourself and him with him just the same now as in the future. Can you picture yourself still with him after another year passes by, how about 5, now a decade (10 yrs), or how about for the rest of your life. I used that thought process when leaving an abusive spouse and tho I could trick my sub into going along with it on a day by day basis, when I switched my thoughts to picturing the grander scale, I broke down and cried because I was terrified of an entire life with nothing better, but possibly worse than I had right now. That was enough incentive for me to leave for good.
You might try that yourself.
Then lastly, there are spiritual things that can be done to help, more commonly known as cords of attachment when you get into a relationship with a person. There are positive cords which are what keep you going back but these are only meant to remanin as the good memories. Then there's the negative cords that need to be severed. Since there is no tangible, visiable cord attached between you and him, this means it needs to be taken care of on a psychic level. And its simple. I simply used a large pair of scissors and pictured with eyes closed, a cord between me and partner and doing it like a ribbon cutting ceremony, just snip it in half. I was told by my angels that once I did this, there was no going back, I was on my way out of the relationship.
Here's a link on cord cutting:

http://annasayce.com/cord-cutting-a-spiritual-technology-that-changed-my-life/

And that is all that I have for you, and it will work IF you are very ready for it.

Need more incentive? Okay, when a person is unhappily in a relationship even if its no fault of the other person, just not being right for you, you suffer a kind of stress that as the years go by, has to go somewhere and usually it goes into bringing on emotional problems like depression and ending up on meds or into physical ailments...the body isn't meant to deal with on going stress 24.7 without a break which is what it would be if married to someone you begin to despise and resent with a part of yourself. I was a classic case of every stress related illness except the last two, cancer and heart attack which would have happened eventually too if I'd stayed. But imagine my having to live with daily headaches and the 3 times a year migraines, stomach ulcers, and total body stress rash that itched like hell and scratching makes it last even longer. Those are all stressed induced illnesses and I suffered with them.

Do the cord cutting before seeing him face to face and realize the good feelings you feel when telling him that its over are only the memories of the good parts you want to look for in the next person but changes for the better on the other parts.
You still may not get exactly what you pictured in your head, but you want someone where both of you are in love with each other, treat each other as ones very best friend and also most perfect lover. The wants in a relationship are just icing on the cake but not necessary. I wanted a guy with long hair and got that. I also wanted a man who liked to dance and go dancing with me...I did not get that. Its knowing what a deal breaker is and what isn't for you. A good deal breaker for a young lady would be if she wants children some day soon and of course marriage and the guy is totally against having a child and doenst even like kids. That would be a deal breaker cus you can not change who he is on something like that or it isn't likely to change later on either. Most of us make minor changes in our own lives but major ones rarely if ever happen and some of these rare major changes for the better take an entire life time to finally occur in a person like in their old age. Got that from my ex's psychologist. When I realized finally that its more of whether I can accept the person as they are right at this moment with no promise of any change up to the day they die, or give up and let them go, I realized the ex had to go. Hope you can do it too.

(Girl, 15) Hi. I have this on and off friend of 4 years. But now, she is really annoying. She is basically coping everything I do, and she only talks about herself and her problems. Sometimes she is a great person, but most of the time she gets on my nerves. Should I keep her as a close friend?

I agree that people who copy others all the time on everything have low self esteem. Basically, she looks up to you and probably wants to be more like you. Copying hairstyles,, clothes, mannerisms etc... will not help her and yes it is annoying but she has needs that are not being filled or she is lacking in some things.
Dumping her altogether will only reinforce her low esteem and make her worse. You need a circle of friends and not her as the only one. If she is one of a handful you see regularly all the time, then it shouldn't feel like like a burdon if you are the only one she hangs around.

Try to place yourself in her shoes. Ask yourself what your life would be like if you were her and let your imagination flow. It helps if you can ask her the right questions since she likes to talk about herself. Although I am sure the things she shares is what she hopes others will believe is true for her. Unless you have practically lived at her house on weekends, you may not really know why she is the way she is.
Here is one possible scenerio and there are many others. She may be starved for love and attention from her parents. It could be that one of her parents is a work-a-holic and never around to pay attention, have a relationship with, even just a listening ear, the other parent may be unhappy in the marriage and all their frustration and anger is let out on the kids,, so she may never get a kind word. She may interpret this mistreatment or retreat to a job as parents not happy with her, that there is something wrong with her which isn't true. If you had parents like that, what do you think you would be doing? YOu'd be looking for attention and love elsewhere. See if she will reveal what home life is Really like and only then will you know what you can do to help. YOu cant be the only one who reaches out to her. Perhaps she'd be a good candidate for the big sister program. Maybe with you going along for moral support, she'd be willing to talk to a school counselor if the problems are really bad. I know my parents were like a second set of parents to one of my friends who had parents who fought all the time and my house was the better place to be. Maybe she just needs a place to get away sometimes, not every day and your mom could give her the attention she so badly needs.
It doesnt have to be all that involved so dont get scared, but there's always a story behind each persons behavior. Find out hers and then decide if its something you can handle or do anything to help or not.

Im 27 and so hard for me to fall in love , and the soon im in it and it didn't work im all depressed and anxious,, it effects on my health my system ,everything... So im all careful to fall for someone or be in a relationship,, when im in a relationship i always feel alive i go back to my usual self and paint the whole day none stop, but when im out of it i get back to my other self ,,so that's the reason i was so careful, and another thing it always have to be some intersting story for me there to fall in love it always have to be creative not the person of course the situation or the events...so im in the restaurant that i work there as a supervisor a guy comes in and i greet him he sits and without the details he askes me out (Rami)he's tall handsome maybe he's sexiest men i ever seen ,but as usual i said no and he keep coming and coming everyday bringing his best friend with him (Aous) he kept coming for almost 5 month then he and Aous meet my friends that we work together and we began to hang out go here go there go to Aouss place ,, elc we become good friends, so one year later i took a vacation to my country for two month and after i came back it got really complicated ... PS ..anna my best friend and Aous i think they like each other:
So we began to hang out even more and all that time that Rami was silence suddenly began to talk to me about his feelings ,he's being serious and i should giving him a chance that he could do the impossible for me even change his religion... I didn't feel anything for him ,nothing... So one day when we were drinking at Aouss house he got really drunk and i was really began to feel uncomfortable and had to leave the house,, after me getting home Rami texs me and starts to convince me to be with him , so i dont know why i texted Aous and told him to help me , and he agreed ,he's seeing his best friend suffering and me getting annoyed he told me im gonna help as long as you dont want him , there's nothing he can force you, so we began to talk everyday day and night,, how i should start acting infront of Rami and so on.. We kept texting each other for 2 weeks and then we got really close that i openly told him everything about my past my unfortunate relations and so did he.
One day he said something about ( i should open my eyes to see) I didn't get it at first but day by day i started feeling something from him and it felt so warm and natural i was happy to talk to him to dance to drink with him of course with our friends ,, so one day he confesses everything that he's in love with me he was since the day he walked in the restaurant and started to feel the exact feelings which Rami feels, he was depressed and desperate for solution so he decided not to lose his friend get over his feelings and help him , so the whole year he was helping Rami ..
I was in shock at first i thought maybe lately he started to feel this way but I wouldn't expect it would turn out into smth huge like this,,anyway i really wanted him i felt it in those couple of weeks,, but the idea of Rami being his best friend and Anna being mine i was sooo messed up ,, but i agreed to see him and the moment i saw him it was like all my previous relationships was a game and dance mothing serious nothing real comparing to him i felt smth that I weren't my entire life ,I couldn't lose him i had butterflies in my stomach and this time I wasn't ready to kill them,, we talked and talked about solutions and he asked me to wait , Rami suspects smth ans im so focusing on telling them and i did, i told Anna everything and she was ok she supported me and told me she was upset but thanked me for my loyalty and said i always got your back go get him,, but with Rami it wasn't that easy they got into a big fight and lost each other.. Aous told me that he sacrificed alot for his friend he did alot for him and if he doesn't understand that his happiness is with me then he wasn't a friend from the beginning,, so we all are fine we're dated for 4 month and then the problems began the carelessness he's being too distant,,i told him that he changed he's not like the one i fell for,, he said maybe we rushed alittle or me having you made me feel lile I can't lose you .. But that doesnt change the fact that i so deeply in love with you , aweek later I couldn't bare it ,he was gonna travel to his country before his travelling i got everything planned i made a reservation at some restaurant then we were going to meet our friends to say goodbye ..elc,, he didn't show up and while i texted him he said he was with his ftiends drinking he knew about the reservation i told him many times, i went to stoyka the pub which we hang out all the time my friends were there and after an hour he showed up and i was really angry with him that i left he didn't even come after me.. So i wrote him a letter actually a big one and broke up with him he didnt answer , he went to Israel and acouple of weeks later he writes me saying my reasons weren't enough to break up with someone and he's not convinced with the reasons and we will talk about it as soon as he comes back ..so i agreed and i waited he didn't text me for two month and u could imagine my state being depressed and ill,, I didn't go to Uni for almost a month and didn't also go to work i was in a mess ..
After he comes back he rings me alooot but I don't reply bcz of my stupid ego and of course being hurt,the one day he texts me it was smth like this( if you ever see me acrossing the street don't you ever put your eyes on mine, you change your direction and forget my name cz that doesn't give me the honor) i was angry mad frustrated and start crying wanting him to disappear. Days later my friend talkes to him and knows the reason of his stupidity,, the reason is that while he was in his country i was so depressed that my friends took me to (stoyka) which without my knowledge they invited Rami too so he sat with us and spend the whole evening with us, but I didn't even look into his eyes , and it wasn't just that time many times ,i asked them not to invite him cz if Aous hears it ,it'll all be a mess even though we broke up,, so thats it the reason is that how im allowing myself to sit in the same table with him after i know that they don't talk to each other bcz of me,, but I didn't do anything wrong i mean atleast from my view.
Now its been 6 month we broke up yesterday he went permanently to his country and i lost him forever I won't see him in my life i miss him i want him and im so surprised that that kinda love how it ended like that ,how we got here from being so made for each other so perfect ,,i just don't get it if there's any way I could have him back....or getting over him
The silly thing is he's talking with Rami again they're friends again :)

Of course he's friends again with Rami, they're both guys and guys fight differently than gals.
For them, its a quick fist fight or verbal fight over something, they're hurt and go their own way for a short while but more often than not, once they work out their emotions with action like fights, once the fight is over, there are no emotions to linger in their minds and so they are happy again and on friendly terms, even if it was a female they were fighting over.

s for why you fell for Aous, thats easy human psychology. When Aous said he would help you with Rami, he had actually stumbled on a way to get close to you, whether accidently or intentionally, it would work either way. Approaching you this way gave you time to get to know him better and show you a side of him you may not have seen otherwise, that he is a caring person and had feelings for you. Your defenses were down as far as seeing him as an approaching suitor and automatically putting up barriers in response to it feeling awkward, threatening, or any other emotional response that would shut him down on the spot. So you were able to relax and get to know him in a non threatening way.

Was it wrong for him to go after you when you and Rami has eyes on each other? Peoples opinions may vary. But the truth is, until a commitment has been made to each other to be a couple, or for long term as in marriage, then any one is free game for any other person to come up and ask them out, or hang out with them to give them a chance to know them and hopefully fall in love with them.

I can't say there is any way to repair and save this relationship but we all make mistakes in life, often major ones that haunt us the rest of our life. The trick tho is to learn from them, so that we do better next time and the next until we no longer make mistakes but solid conscious choices that do turn out successfully well. Since there is no such thing as a Relationships 101 course, you will have to self teach and study. There are many books out there that are very helpful. Even though I am in a happy 2nd marriage, I read about relationships, dating do's and don'ts and so on so I can say, if you start looking, you will find plenty of helpful information out there and you are now at the perfect age to make some good life tweaks and changes in this area of relationships.
Once you have knowledge on your side, you'll have it easier being able to spot the right guy for you, know the signs of whether someones equally attracted to you and know how to go after that person properly. Even tho in a successful relationship, I am always willing to learn more so I can be an even better person than I was the week before and I wish the same for you so you can have success and find your sweetheart. You are mature enough age wise, all thats needed is more study. You can't change the guys you meet with your study, only point them in right direction. But no matter how handsome, you'll know which ones to avoid and look for the ones who have the maturity and same helpful knowledge of relationships as you do.

(Girl, 15) hey! I have had a crush on this one boy in my grade for a few years now. It was okay, until I found out that my close friend has a massive crush on him too. I don't wanna tell her that I like him, but I wanna date him as well. What should I do if he asks me out? I don't wanna ruin my friendship with this girl, but I really like this boy.

Ask yourself if you think your best friend would accept a date if he asked her first and she knew you were crushing on him. She probably still would.
Females get quite competitive when it comes to guys and having a boyfriend falls to a more important spot in their life than anything else at this stage. Teen girls act as if there is a shortage of males, like 5 to every 50 girls and I can assure the imbalance is not that great. Yes it is nice to have a male acknowledge you, and that is an actual need in teen girls, but it is possible to have a boyfriend and yet keep your girlfriend. Unfortunately, most teen girls are not yet secure in themselves as a young woman, and have low self confidence whether they realize thats the problem or not. That combined with being young and not having learned how to handle jealousy, or even know much about males or relationships and how to talk to them, makes it very difficult to successfully do both, keep a guy and keep your best friend. My first thought is that keeping it secret doesn't help.
Since this is just a crush, and not in the realm of a real relationship yet if it will ever be, friends can and should be able to share who they think is cute and comment to eachf other about and make wishes about and dreams about. My girlfriend and I did that as young teens, it is really a normal thing.
But crushing is not near being a real relationship. Neither of you have approached the guy to ask him out. Neither of you know if he may not be interested in either of you either.
I say that enjoy this stage of learning for what it is, not a real relationship but having fun sharing the dream with a girlfriend and neither of you going after him in real life. Take the time to start making a list of why you are attracted to a guy, him or any in the future. This list will help you at the stage you're looking for your life partner and you will make many changes to it along the way.

For now, learn to figure out what attracts you to a guy and hopefully it isnt just skin deep like how handsome he is. What about how he treats his friends, is he polite, smart and a good student, does he have a great sense of humor and a wonderful sounding laugh, does he dress well, etc.

This is the best thing I can think of for right now. I don't even know if either sets of parents would even allow you to date at this age. So use this time to help yourself with the list making, and as a bonding time with your girlfriend. When you are older and more self secure and confident, you'll know when its time to make your move on a guy. The gal who asks first, more often is the one who gets to date the guy.

Hello, I'm currently a sophomore in college. A year ago when I started college I did so as a nursing student. I was top of my class and my enjoying everything I took. However, at the end of my first year I had a bit of a life-crisis when I realized I didn't want to be a nurse because I was afraid I would end up cleaning out urine pans all day or that I would get injured because I'm a petite female. I also didn't want to work 12 hour shifts and only wanted to work with children, but was told it's very difficult to get into pediatrics.

I was also afraid I wasn't giving what might be "my true passion" a real chance as I had started developing a big interest in world affairs.

Well I wound up transferring to another city after being accepted on scholarship to a better school and when I did so I decided I was going to leave medical and changed my major to Government and World Affairs.

After taking 4 Government classes, I've realized my passion was medical. I constantly miss my medical classes and learning all about the body. I'm just not retaining the information taught in my government classes the same way and it's not what I thought it would be. The government teachers don't seem to care as much and I don't feel happy like I do talking about my old major. I also miss the job security that came with medical classes, as I constantly fear that a degree in government will ruin me.

Now I think I'm going to go for a degree in Allied Health instead and make my goal to become a Physicians Assistant. I realize this will require a Masters degree and 2000 hours worked in a medical facility, but I'm up for the task, knowing it will guarantee me a real job and that I did so well in my medical classes. I also feel like it will be a huge relief for my family and friends who feared I was making a big mistake going for government instead.

I can also apply all of my first year nursing classes to the major since they are very similar courses and use the government classes as social science credits towards my overall degree requirements to put me ahead.

My only fear is that in another semester I'll want to flip-flop again or that without a Masters, I won't be able to accomplish much in the meantime with an Allied Health degree. I know for sure I don't want to be a nurse and a PA sounds right up my ally. I feel like a huge weight is off my chest though just thinking about being in medical again and I haven't officially switched yet.

the only thought I got here was a caution to you. Ask yourself if perhaps while in gov. classes, the reason you believe you are happier talking about medical stuff is not entirely because it is a passion but more right now about it being a topic you are more familiar with and comfortable with?

I am like the next person, not liking the learning stage, it's scary and often diasspointing and in any job I've ever had when trained on the spot, I remember that each job, like each class, has a lot of information that is important that you are meant to retain and its hard to learn it and keep it easily in memory from the start.
I guess it all depends on what jobs you go for in the medical field. A nurses or drs assistant in a local doctor clinic is not going to be cleaning bed pans.
I would suggest writing out a list of exactly what parts of being a nurse you find exciting. It may be that some of those qualities are the same that fit other jobs not even remotely related to nurse care.
Heres a few ideas to give you a start:
LIST
Make some ones life a little better
Nurturing
Teaching people how to take best care of themselves
Help those unable to help themselves
Hating to see children suffer illness

You won't come up with a complete list overnight but carry some paper with you and jot down thoughts as they come to you over the next few days when you're not concentrating so hard on having something to jot down.

Perhaps world affairs as far as a hands on position is what you would find more satisfying, working in a 3rd world country, helping to teach people how to take better medical care of themselves and work with children somehow to better their lives and it need not pertain to medical either, just where ever there is a need.

I hope this gives you something to help decide.

I been having this sort of problem after my first period everything change my discharge start smelling like pee i think it because i use summer eves soap when i first got my period (i dont no more) or when i use scented pads (i dont no more) my period brown and smell like pee to this is stressful i tryed everything everyone can smell me for a person that showers everyday or sometimes twice a day and i dance sometimes i dont wanna go to dance because i smell i told my mom to take me to the doctors but my medi wasnt working at that time i feel sad,nasty,dirty,stink,punnish and ....... Please help me this is not a joke i was thinkiing of killing myself because i was getting mess wit

Glad to hear you no longer use scented sprays or pads. Douches are also a no no as they wash away all the good bacteria so the bad ones can take over. It just may be that you have too many bad bacteria present and they can cause all sorts of problems, one of which is a bad odor, or itching, vaginitis or yeast infections.

There's a possibility that some of the scented stuff you used in the past got into the urethra which is close to the vagina and you may have a urinary tract infection, or whatever may cause you to not be able to hold your bladder and little drops leak out and so you smell it. Fresh pee doesnt smell strongly tho. The closest I personally would describe it to is like a roasted corn scent but not exactly. If pee has been sitting around and exposed to air, outside the body for quite some time, it does what you generally smell with soiled cloth baby diapers, it will have a strong ammonia scent.
It would be best for a Dr to see you to rule out any infections. Not all people react the same way to infections. So if your own Dr. isn't available or Mom won't take you, I would suggest a Planned parenthood clinic as they can help with any medical concerns regarding the reproductive organs and teens as young as 14 have been able to go there. Or maybe there is a free womens clinic in your area.
You mentioned a first period. I am assuming this all started right after 1st period. Just wondering how long you've been getting periods cus if you are just beginning and your first year, your body is still getting used to the idea of hormones and won't always have a regular period. Sometimes you can get 2 shorter ones in a month or a really long one or none at all for 2 months or it can be delayed and when delayed, a brownish discharge will come out until it finally turns to red and the normal flow comes. I can't say whether this is normal and due to your age, which I dont know. But like I said, you really need to see a Dr. If Mom will not take you, talk to an Aunt and Grandma to talk to your Mom. IT is important to find out if there is an actuall problem that can be fixed with a medicine or it this is normal for you.

I am a 28 year old female and I went out on a date with a 40 year old guy I met from the college that I go to. At first things were going great. We went out to eat and then decided to go to the river for a walk and we got there we didn't even get out there before he started kissing me and I told him he was going to fast and he stopped for a little and then a few minutes later he started touching my breasts and I told him to stop but he kept touching them. I feel so violated he'd didn't even ask me help.

I agree with adviceman.
For the future, anytime you meet a guy again, remember that all people, women included, tend to put their best foot forward when wanting to attract someone. Many intentionally will pretend to be someone they are not, putting on a false persona. I don't know how long you knew him from the college setting but that was only one side or aspect of who he is. SO you have to be careful but willing to spend time with the person in other settings so you can see if he's someone you can trust fully to be alone with in a setting where there are few or no people around.

If this was your first date, dinner was fine but just because you know him from college doenst tell you if you can trust being alone in the same vehicle. So next time, do as I did when I did internet dating. I met lots of guys and told them what coffee shop they could meet me at. We each buy our own coffee. If in that social setting all goes well, then i'd agree on the spot to another date. We'd pick a place and time but I told him, that until I knew him better and that I could trust him fully, I would meet him there in my own car. If you don't have a car, take a bus or taxi and make sure your not out beyond the time buses are running. This is for your safety. You are lucky all he did was kiss and grab and didn't go the whole way and rape you.
When I explained I would drive myself for the first 3, or 4 dates, the guys were always understanding and willing to give me the time to get to know and trust them. THey had to earn the trust first before I'd spend time alone where I couldn't call out for help.

i'm in an unofficial relationship with this really great guy. we aren't formally together, but everyone pretty much already knows that we have a thing. he's charming, eloquent and attractive; i was attracted to him from the very start. upon finding out that the feelings were mutual, we both decided to unofficially 'get together'. now we talk to each other everyday, converse with all kinds of romantic words and all that jazz.

but this all changed when i met someone else. this other guy was incredibly persistent, he liked me from the moment we talked. even though i tried to tell him that i was emotionally unavailable, he wouldn't give up. and if i were to be honest, i enjoy conversations with him much more than i do when talking to my 'boyfriend'. he just has a certain type of wit about him that makes my heart skip a beat, especially when he says all the smooth things. previously, i suspected him of being a huge flirt with everyone and called him out on it, but he told me that he was only interested in me.

i mean, the choice seems rather obvious, right? i'm not even formally in a relationship, so it would be easier to break things off with the first guy. furthermore, i'm more attracted to the second. but i'm not someone who enjoys confrontations, and i hate the idea of hurting others. i should never have even developed feelings for the second guy in the first place, i don't know why i did. can anyone tell me what i should do, and how to go about it? thank you.

Lacy is right that you can't help falling for someone else. Plus this wasn't cheating if the two of you never moved on to the stage of being a committed couple. Theres dating to find out all about the other and whether they are someone you feel good about or if there are things about em you don't like or wont tolerate.
Its between a list of the must haves (in a partner) and the wants. A must have is the deal breaker if not present. If there are two people for you who meet all the must haves, then it falls to the wants to decide which one to go with. A want is not as important, like the icing on the cake but you could live without if you cant have it. So lets say you want a guy who likes to go dancing and has long hair and guy #2 is both while #1 is not. Then those would become your deciding factors.
You don't say how long you've known either one and it takes time to get to know a person so just be sure that even tho theres seems to be a stronger connection with #2 , that you do know enough before leaving #1, cus #1 may not take you back if things fall apart with the other.

Let me tell you a bit from my history, it may help. When I got divorced, I wanted to date again and maybe find a new mate. I had a list of what I wanted. So when I met guys on a dating site, I let them know up front before dating who I was, like letting a prospective boss know all your strengths and weaknesses, etc for a job interview. But I also had my list of what I needed in a guy. Told them it was okay if they didn't meet the criteria, it didnt make them a bad person, just not right for me. I also let them know that I would date several guys at the same time if it so happened that I met several at the same time, until I was sure of which one I wanted and then would tell the others, sorry but I chose someone else. Almost all guys are really okay with this. Only a few with a low self image would feel threatened and get angry with you as they did me. But it didnt bother me becuase I didn't want someone with low self esteem anyhow.
I want you to know its okay to date several at the same time as long as you say so up front. This is for the future.Since you said no such thing with guy #1, you'd have to let him know that tho you've enjoyed a relationship with him, you aren't totally sure about being with him long term and (if you want an official commitment of a sort, whether to remain together forever married or not) let him know you are ready to start looking for not just a guy to date and hang with and enjoy companionship, but you are looking for long term relationship.
In case this is the reason your feelings are gone, have you heard of New Relationship Energy? NRE happens with every new relationship, and it feels the same as when you were a kid and wanted a special toy so much and begged and begged til you got it for birthday or Christmas. Once you had it, it was so special, you were excited and played with it all day every day, then after a week or two, you didn't play as long with it but you still liked it. A month or two out, it wasn't as special as you thought it the beginning. The excitement wore off. I got toys that were perfect for my gifts and talents and hobbie likes and those are the ones I never got tired of. I might stash them away for a week and bring out again to have fun. Relationships if not the right one for you, then the energy you felt only mimicked interest or love. THen there are different kinds of love. You have favorite foods and may say you Love that food, but that kind of love isnt the love for a partner, at least it shouldn't be. You and your partner can love many things about each other, find each other special but not be 'in love' with each other. When in love with someone you meet and its reciprocated, neigther of you will be looking at anyone else, nor can another person come along and easily steal you away. So though you may have loved some things about #1, my guess is that you were not in love... which I feel is needed for any successful relationship, especially any committed, long term ones. Decide if this is what happened for you, Then explain it to him about loving but not being in love with. This means if things dont work out with #2, there is no reason to run back to #1 but keep looking for a third guy.

I rescued a stray fuzzball awhile ago. She can't be more than 3-4 months old at this point (still has kitten fuzz, still squeaky). I've been feeding her about 6oz wet food per day, but she constantly forages for more food.
When I found her, she was effectively starving, very bony, but had been surviving. I get the sense that if I were to let her free-feed, she would overeat because she's used to NOT having food... still adapting to actually having regular meals. She's gained weight and seems healthy (we have a vet appointment coming up).
Should I be feeding her more?

Related to the feeding, I have an older cat (8 years), also female. If I don't, like, lock the older cat's food up with her, the kitten eats HER food too (prescribed metabolic weight loss food), and my sweet lady does nothing to stop her. She'll hiss from a distance and growl sometimes, but... does this mean kitten needs more food? Should I LET her eat the other cat's food in hopes that the other cat will actually DO something about it at some point? I mean... my older girl isn't starving by any means, but I don't want her to get sick.

So... more food for the kitten? Let the kitten eat the other cat's food? Halp.

I am guessing that the kitten is eating merely because it's body doesnt know when its next meal is coming and may still give off the hunger signal even if she doesnt need it and the amount you feed is sufficient.
I had one cat that needed the food that helped for older cats with tendency for urninary tract problems, so I could take chance of the other cats eating up her food. Best thing is to feed them in separate places. We also had 2 small dogs at one point and the younger was a rescue dog who had been overfed by previos owner. So she'd try to eat the other dogs food as well. Again, you just have to put one in a separate room and keep checking to see if they've finished and if not, save the rest of the food and put it with cat in separate place again later to see if the cat is hungrier later Your vet should be able to tell you what amoutn to give the kitten. In time, once its been getting food regularly daily, the habit to eat anything in sight and keep eating and foraging the kitchen for extra should stop.

I am 40 years old boy. I love to a other cast widow lady. She has a daughter and I marry to him. But my mother does not want and she is on bed, in bad sing. Please give me advice that what should be do me

As adviceman said, the english doesnt make sense. But I love a good puzzle and will try to reword what you wrote to see if this is what you wanted to tell us.

You are a 40 year old man, (a boy while a male is 18 or under) And you are in love with a Widow who is from a different cast than you. This widow has a daughter and you are married to her daughter.

the rest is much harder to figure out. YOur mother does not want something, or maybe you mean that your mother did not want you to marry the woman you married. SHe is on bed in bad sing makes no sense at all. Unless you mean someone is ill, sick and in bed and not doing well.

Just because you have feelings of love for the widow does not mean she would ever return it if you were not married to her daughter. To stay married to her daughter and have an affair with her, have relations with/sex would be wrong. You may or may not due to the culture of your country be able to divorce the wife, but it would be in bad taste, bad manners to then attempt to date her mother. If you did not mean anything about your own mother but you are saying your wifes mother, the widow is the one who doesnt want you, then there is nothing to be done. You want advice on what to do if it is just about not being in love with wife but her mother, then the best would be to divorce and leave. that way you are not around to constantly see the one you want but can't have and the one you have but don't want.

Did I get this right?

Ex blocke me off whatsapp during our heated break up but kept me on everything else? Facebook? Instagram? Even though he specifically told me if we ever broke up he would have no reason to keep me on his social media. He blocked me out of spite because I Hurt and left him ( he obviously did something to provoke it) but i wont get into details. If he just wanted to remove me from his life wouldnt he completely delete me everywhere? I mean, i have done that to a few of my exes when i was seriously DONE. but what do you guys think? he still searches me and goes through my stuff everyday (I know this for a fact) but it just makes me feel like he has some kind of hope we'll be together, and i actually hope so cause i do too..

thanks all. x

Hon, I come from a different generation when we didn't have computers or cells and texting. We didn't have FB, Twitter or any on line sites where people could meet or keep in touch. My kids are probably in your age range or older and they all have cells and do text but they didn't get cells until they started working and could afford their own, So they learned first how to relate to people face to face and not rely so much on internet sites.

I know everyone wants to feel accepted and liked and that is important. Blocking out of anger tho is just another way that before the time of computers, a person would try to have the last word in an argument. They say what they know you most likely will react to in anger or after a convo that turned into a fight, block you so that you can not have the last word back at them cus they blocked you. Getting unblocked doesnt really mean the relationship is back on even keel. There is no such class as relationships 101 but there are many books that can be helpful. There is a right and wrong way to have an argument and there are do's and don't to basic relationship knowledge but sadly many people don't know about it so their best guesses and their best efforts always end up in blow ups.
I can't say wether this relationship is save-able. If you know him well enough to know how long he stays angry, give him enough time to get over it and then go talk to him in person and ask if he wants to find a way to make the relationship work or not. Generally people who hold grudges for too long do not make good relationship partners. We will all make mistakes in relationships but what makes them work is when we love the person enough to forgive and forget. So I guess you'll have to feel this out, whether to wait longer, try to talk to him or just move on.

Hey. Thanks for answering my question. To answer some of yours, my parents wouldn't be going because it's too hard for my mum to get consecutive weeks off work due of the nature of her job. My father hates the heat, and the part of Italy we would be going to would be hot. As well. It's not his side of the family, and he doesn't talk to his family period, so he doesn't understand what it means as much as my mum.

My parents have saved up a rather sizeable chunk of money for me for my university, probably enough to pay for most of my undergrad, especially if I get scholarships. The reason they want me to get a job is to get experience and to gain maturity.

I was leaning towards Italy, but it's still hard for me to decide because even though my grandparents live on less, they support my uncle entirely, and they help pay for my cousin to go to university as well. The tickets to go to Italy would be roughly 2000$ for a round trip, which is quite a lot.

Another little problem is that I don't speak italian, so I won't be able to talk to my great grandmother much. I speak french and English, so I can read italian, but speech is not going to be possible. The only person who speaks both English and Italian is my grandfather (my great grandmother is his mother)

I don't know, it's a rough decision to make. I do want to go, I do want to meet my great grandmother, and the entire half of my family I've never had the opportunity to meet before, but I'm worried that I'll also be disappointing my parents? I'm sorry, I'm a mess.

If the only reason is to gain work experience, I still don't see what 3 months before going to Univ. is going to be much experience that will help once you graduate. Students with some work experience in the field they are graduating in will be considered before others, cus frankly..it looks good, like you are serious about working in that vocation. Now if your parents are more for just wanting you to work as learning responsibility type thing, well maybe you would but I feel 3 months is just getting your feet wet and I still don't see a big enough thing of experience gained for that.

If it makes you feel any better, perhaps once you graduate, you could promise to pay the grandparents back for the plane trip in chunks. What you would spend on car payments could go to them if it makes you feel better and from what you say, it would probably help them. Even if they say no, you can find ways to help them out financially.
As for work experience, it becomes much more important and to your advantage if during your last year in Univ. you find a part time job in the field you will be graduating with a degree for. A non related job for a few months before schooling won't have the same impact.
I can already tell that when you do graduate and have to take on responsibility of finding your own job and keeping it and pay your own bills, you will do fine. Your concern about possibly dissapointing your parents tells me you already have a level head on your shoulders. Some young people in HS or just graduated who work just a fast food joint job do well because they are like you, others, no matter how much work they do at a job, at that age, it doesnt necessarily change who they are. I work at fast food and I have seen lots of young people who are my managers and do really great and others who come in and are gone in 2,3 months because they never learned the kind of basics growing up that would cause them to take pride in their job, think about others and their feelings and being helpful, etc etc... You sound like someone with the basics already taught by your parents and so no matter when or what you apply yourself to, you will do well. good luck.

Hi, I'm from Turkey, I'm a female, and I'm 16, whereas my crush is 18.
So my crush texted me last night about an artist we both like, and he sent me some youtube videos about that artist. I replied him saying I really liked the videos, he didn't answer although he saw my messages. Then I sent him a video similar to his, he didn't reply that either. It would be quite normal if I texted him first then he didn't answer none of my messages, because it would mean he doesn't want to talk. But why did he text me in the first place if he doesn't want to talk? And if he wants to talk, why does he keep ignoring my messages?
Also if I see him at school, should I say anything to him? Or should I just say hi and go?

Hon, you grew up in a generation of cell phones, texting and computers, things I didnt have when your age. I had to learn how to communicate with people face to face. That face to face communicating is now becoming a lost art. If you knew what I know from living in a different time with different experiences, you'd see easily why there are natural problems that come when texting is the only main way some people use to communicate. I too will watch a video sent to me and not necessarily respond to it.

He wasn't texting you to communicate and have a good in depth conversation, he was simply sending you a little gift which shows he was thinking of you or that you are on his mind often throughout his day and he knows you well enough to know what you would like and enjoy. So sending you something you like was a little way to show he cares about you..

There are professionals on communication who teach that the majority of conversation is all non verbal as far as oratory, that which is hearable. It is body language, facial expression and tone of voice that communicates far more by tests that have been done on the topic.
We cant hear the expressions or tone of voice or see body language/facial expressions in a text.

In conversations on the cell or phone, there is actual back and forth conversation, no interruptions and the added benefit of the sound of the voice. Some peoples humor is dry or they can sound so serious that without the facial expression or sound of voice, you may thing they are angry at you when all they are doing is teasing you, trying to be funny. Watch a comedian on stage. A good one is even funnier because they dont just stand there and tell the joke, it is their tone of voice, facial expression and their acting out the joke by the motions of their body that make it funnier.
Getting information back and forth between two people is important. With the comedian on stage, only one is talking to entertain and the no one is talking back in return. But in school, in a job in a family, conversing back and forth in good time and the right way is very important to the health and success of those relationships. But a dating relationship or marriage is even more crucial. Lots of guys can tend to get focused on the task before them so they will only glance at a a text and go back to what they were doing. Guys do know how to prioritize and do multi-tasking, it just differs from how females do it. When not with you face to face, only that which is around him takes his focus and attention whether it is studies, a job, chores, or spending time with one of his male friends. This does not mean that you have any less significance in his life, that you are not as important. The fact he sent something you like for you to look at while you were apart or away from each others presence is the confirmation of how important you are, even when he can't be there or doesnt have the time for a full conversation. A single text isn't always an invitation to have a lengthy conversation.

So this morning, for the second or third time in my life, I dreamed about exorcising a negative entitiy (not demon) from a house or building I was in.

In this one, things started out normal and there were some playful people, but they disappeared and I could feel the energy in the place change, and someone else show up. I was terrified, but I stuck around. The lights went out, things would move, and this spirit "called" someones phone and was talking to the girl it belonged to, but she was being riddiculous so I took the phone and spoke with the person. It was a woman, clearly from another time period, inquiring about her young son who's name I can't remember. He was supposed to be at a boarding school or something in France. She started out in a a very polite mood, but as I told her as kindly as I could that her son wasn't here, this wasn't France, I was very, very sorry, she stopped talking and the atmosphere of the place got very heavy and dark and very scary. She would do things to me that hurt and do things to test me and I was really scared and in tears. At one point she "called" my phone and I refused to answer it. A long time into all of this, we were makimg progress and I could feel the energy in the place getting lighter, but we were no where near finished...

Would this dream possibly be a real struggle with a negative entity, as we've saged my house several times because there is some negative, non-violent, leechy energy, or do you think it's just symbolic? I'll add, for clarification, that I wasn't watching any movies or shows, reading any books, or playing any games that might influence such an idea.

Thankyou for your response!

Dreams are often symbolic for most. But dreams come more from what was most impressionable on your mind a particular day (such as scary movie which you ruled out) or other things in your life that weigh heavily and bother you at a subconscious level but not at the conscious level.

YOur subconscious is where all your emotions are stored and come from. So if symbolic to something in life, perhaps the "struggle" with a soul who didnt pass over, is only symbolic to some struggles in your life, hardships of life, whether financial, death in the family, personal illness, break ups, whatever makes you feel like you are not in control of your life, like a piece of driftwood just taken places by currents and tides and during storms left beached on land.
It doesnt need to signify that you are dealing with or will be dealing with any spirits in life.

Perhaps it is a yearning of your soul to become more stable and secure as far as spiritually, and actually have a relationship with your creator and be able to recognize the protecting of your angels. So you are seeing situations that are spiritually scary in order to get you to consciously do what your subconscious wants, to grow spiritually in this lifetime. I am not saying the answer is in a particular religion, but any movement closer to a creator/the divine is a step in the right direction.

Not meaning to offend if you don't believe the next part, but I do believe in reincarnation now where as I didn't in the past. I've had enough experiences in life that convinced me otherwise no matter what the church preached.
I used to have a reoccuring dream besides the ones of battling an evil entity tho those were rare.
In my dream, tho female, I was a male, brawny and strong and in the house I grew up in but I was head of house and a mob of bad guys were trying to come in the back door to kill us all. The problem was the door couldn't be locked as it was smaller than the door frame all of a sudden and I couldn't hold it in place forever. Eventually they began to make it inside. This is the part I had a hard time with, I used my bare hands to snap the necks of each one as they entered, killing them all. In real life, I was not violent, didnt think I could ever kill except maybe accidently in self defense. This is what the dream was. Self defense. But it was more about reconcialing with a past life than the current one. While our conscious minds dont recall past lives with the exception of a few young children who have described and it was proven that all they said was true, only our subconscious at times can have bits of residual memories fed to it from our souls, of past lives.
One day, God said to me, did it ever occur to you that in a past life you were a male warrior and killed only to protect yourself and your loved ones and village and at the end of your life,you mentally struggled with having killed people no matter why?
Once I realized that I was dreaming of something I used to do and forgave myself for it though in reality I had no choice, the dreams stopped immediately. Sometimes it can be something odd like this. I can't know why you have your dreams but there is always the chance that it could be related to a past life, meaning you won't find the answers then related to the current one.
Sorry if this offended you but this is just my view on it.

i went to the er for cellulitis of the face and hives on sat...the dr at the er said follow up with pcp in two -three days...u have no car...would u still go?

Did Dr. give you something that is supposed to make it go away in a day or two? I doubt that. So if you still have it, yes, you should go to your usual PCP for ongoing care. It is important for many reasons. One of my own is that the medication I was given began to give me one of the lesser known reactions and I could share that with my regular clinic and they switched medications. The followup is to make sure you are responding to the help from ER and that you are getting better. If you ignore symptoms or its not going away at the rate you were told it should be gone, seeing your regular Dr. is also good for this. If what they try isn't helping, they are the ones who can refer you to a specialist if needed.

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