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I can't get over him..
Im 27 and so hard for me to fall in love , and the soon im in it and it didn't work im all depressed and anxious,, it effects on my health my system ,everything... So im all careful to fall for someone or be in a relationship,, when im in a relationship i always feel alive i go back to my usual self and paint the whole day none stop, but when im out of it i get back to my other self ,,so that's the reason i was so careful, and another thing it always have to be some intersting story for me there to fall in love it always have to be creative not the person of course the situation or the events...so im in the restaurant that i work there as a supervisor a guy comes in and i greet him he sits and without the details he askes me out (Rami)he's tall handsome maybe he's sexiest men i ever seen ,but as usual i said no and he keep coming and coming everyday bringing his best friend with him (Aous) he kept coming for almost 5 month then he and Aous meet my friends that we work together and we began to hang out go here go there go to Aouss place ,, elc we become good friends, so one year later i took a vacation to my country for two month and after i came back it got really complicated ... PS ..anna my best friend and Aous i think they like each other:
So we began to hang out even more and all that time that Rami was silence suddenly began to talk to me about his feelings ,he's being serious and i should giving him a chance that he could do the impossible for me even change his religion... I didn't feel anything for him ,nothing... So one day when we were drinking at Aouss house he got really drunk and i was really began to feel uncomfortable and had to leave the house,, after me getting home Rami texs me and starts to convince me to be with him , so i dont know why i texted Aous and told him to help me , and he agreed ,he's seeing his best friend suffering and me getting annoyed he told me im gonna help as long as you dont want him , there's nothing he can force you, so we began to talk everyday day and night,, how i should start acting infront of Rami and so on.. We kept texting each other for 2 weeks and then we got really close that i openly told him everything about my past my unfortunate relations and so did he.
One day he said something about ( i should open my eyes to see) I didn't get it at first but day by day i started feeling something from him and it felt so warm and natural i was happy to talk to him to dance to drink with him of course with our friends ,, so one day he confesses everything that he's in love with me he was since the day he walked in the restaurant and started to feel the exact feelings which Rami feels, he was depressed and desperate for solution so he decided not to lose his friend get over his feelings and help him , so the whole year he was helping Rami ..
I was in shock at first i thought maybe lately he started to feel this way but I wouldn't expect it would turn out into smth huge like this,,anyway i really wanted him i felt it in those couple of weeks,, but the idea of Rami being his best friend and Anna being mine i was sooo messed up ,, but i agreed to see him and the moment i saw him it was like all my previous relationships was a game and dance mothing serious nothing real comparing to him i felt smth that I weren't my entire life ,I couldn't lose him i had butterflies in my stomach and this time I wasn't ready to kill them,, we talked and talked about solutions and he asked me to wait , Rami suspects smth ans im so focusing on telling them and i did, i told Anna everything and she was ok she supported me and told me she was upset but thanked me for my loyalty and said i always got your back go get him,, but with Rami it wasn't that easy they got into a big fight and lost each other.. Aous told me that he sacrificed alot for his friend he did alot for him and if he doesn't understand that his happiness is with me then he wasn't a friend from the beginning,, so we all are fine we're dated for 4 month and then the problems began the carelessness he's being too distant,,i told him that he changed he's not like the one i fell for,, he said maybe we rushed alittle or me having you made me feel lile I can't lose you .. But that doesnt change the fact that i so deeply in love with you , aweek later I couldn't bare it ,he was gonna travel to his country before his travelling i got everything planned i made a reservation at some restaurant then we were going to meet our friends to say goodbye ..elc,, he didn't show up and while i texted him he said he was with his ftiends drinking he knew about the reservation i told him many times, i went to stoyka the pub which we hang out all the time my friends were there and after an hour he showed up and i was really angry with him that i left he didn't even come after me.. So i wrote him a letter actually a big one and broke up with him he didnt answer , he went to Israel and acouple of weeks later he writes me saying my reasons weren't enough to break up with someone and he's not convinced with the reasons and we will talk about it as soon as he comes back ..so i agreed and i waited he didn't text me for two month and u could imagine my state being depressed and ill,, I didn't go to Uni for almost a month and didn't also go to work i was in a mess ..
After he comes back he rings me alooot but I don't reply bcz of my stupid ego and of course being hurt,the one day he texts me it was smth like this( if you ever see me acrossing the street don't you ever put your eyes on mine, you change your direction and forget my name cz that doesn't give me the honor) i was angry mad frustrated and start crying wanting him to disappear. Days later my friend talkes to him and knows the reason of his stupidity,, the reason is that while he was in his country i was so depressed that my friends took me to (stoyka) which without my knowledge they invited Rami too so he sat with us and spend the whole evening with us, but I didn't even look into his eyes , and it wasn't just that time many times ,i asked them not to invite him cz if Aous hears it ,it'll all be a mess even though we broke up,, so thats it the reason is that how im allowing myself to sit in the same table with him after i know that they don't talk to each other bcz of me,, but I didn't do anything wrong i mean atleast from my view.
Now its been 6 month we broke up yesterday he went permanently to his country and i lost him forever I won't see him in my life i miss him i want him and im so surprised that that kinda love how it ended like that ,how we got here from being so made for each other so perfect ,,i just don't get it if there's any way I could have him back....or getting over him
The silly thing is he's talking with Rami again they're friends again :)
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Of course he's friends again with Rami, they're both guys and guys fight differently than gals.
For them, its a quick fist fight or verbal fight over something, they're hurt and go their own way for a short while but more often than not, once they work out their emotions with action like fights, once the fight is over, there are no emotions to linger in their minds and so they are happy again and on friendly terms, even if it was a female they were fighting over.
s for why you fell for Aous, thats easy human psychology. When Aous said he would help you with Rami, he had actually stumbled on a way to get close to you, whether accidently or intentionally, it would work either way. Approaching you this way gave you time to get to know him better and show you a side of him you may not have seen otherwise, that he is a caring person and had feelings for you. Your defenses were down as far as seeing him as an approaching suitor and automatically putting up barriers in response to it feeling awkward, threatening, or any other emotional response that would shut him down on the spot. So you were able to relax and get to know him in a non threatening way.
Was it wrong for him to go after you when you and Rami has eyes on each other? Peoples opinions may vary. But the truth is, until a commitment has been made to each other to be a couple, or for long term as in marriage, then any one is free game for any other person to come up and ask them out, or hang out with them to give them a chance to know them and hopefully fall in love with them.
I can't say there is any way to repair and save this relationship but we all make mistakes in life, often major ones that haunt us the rest of our life. The trick tho is to learn from them, so that we do better next time and the next until we no longer make mistakes but solid conscious choices that do turn out successfully well. Since there is no such thing as a Relationships 101 course, you will have to self teach and study. There are many books out there that are very helpful. Even though I am in a happy 2nd marriage, I read about relationships, dating do's and don'ts and so on so I can say, if you start looking, you will find plenty of helpful information out there and you are now at the perfect age to make some good life tweaks and changes in this area of relationships.
Once you have knowledge on your side, you'll have it easier being able to spot the right guy for you, know the signs of whether someones equally attracted to you and know how to go after that person properly. Even tho in a successful relationship, I am always willing to learn more so I can be an even better person than I was the week before and I wish the same for you so you can have success and find your sweetheart. You are mature enough age wise, all thats needed is more study. You can't change the guys you meet with your study, only point them in right direction. But no matter how handsome, you'll know which ones to avoid and look for the ones who have the maturity and same helpful knowledge of relationships as you do.
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