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love and romance
I am a gal who is a virgin and I love my boyfriend .he spoils me very much and we love each other,it is 4 years now seens we have been dating and he is the only person who understand me better than my friend .he is a really nice guy he never been violence to me nor anyone. we spend time maybe three times a week .I am always at school lot of the times. I never loved any guy like this before. he is 4 years older than me but I love him unconditionally, he never force him self to me seens we have dated .I told him that I am not ready for sex he understand and always patient with me.he suggested anal sex because I don't want to have sex ,what I want to know is will a loose my virginity while having anal sex?? I love this guy but I need advice
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Virginity is all about a girl not allowing a man to enter her vagina so she can't become pregnant. Men didn't have to be virgins cus they can't get pregnant. So back in times when there was no birth control yet or paternity tests to know who the father was, it was crucial for a female to remain a virgin. There is no reason other than religious ones in todays time to remain a virgin. But if you still want to be a virgin, the term virgin basically means untouched by man or as in a virgin forest, a place where no human foot has ever walked. So I suppose it really is all about how you interpret the word virgin dear. Some people consider it to mean intercourse, which is penis in the vagina sex from which you can become pregnant.
Since the anus is not connected to the vagina in any way, and theres no way to become pregnant that way other than liquid leaking out and running the short gap over to your vagina and in, most feel anal sex is okay and you don't lose your virginity. If you take the word literally "untouched" would to me mean that no man had ever touched you in any sexual way as well. No fingering or oral sex which you also can't get pregnant from unless there is live cum with sperm on the fingers from earlier play.
I tend to go with the sex of any kind including orgasms idea because after all, there is no way to answer the next question if only intercourse makes you lose virginity.
Question: At what point do two lesbians or two gay men lose their virginity? Neither couple can have penis in vagina sex and toys don't count here cus remember its about getting pregnant. Gay people enjoy sex as much as hetero's, they just may go about it differently than we do to get the same results of pleasure.
So the question you need to ask yourself if you dont know why, is why you don't want to have sex?
Sex is very important to a relationship being one part of a two fold foundation to a relationship.
One is being each others closest best friend which seems that you already have. Unfortunately, many couples marry who are each others best friend but they are not a good match sexually and may not have close to the same pheremones. A good match needs both. The issue you might face at some point in the future is one of these two if you chose to not have sex until after a wedding.
YOu discover you can't stand the smell or taste of him, you both have differeing libido's and one wants a lot more than the other, or what one wants to experiment with or enjoys the other doesnt like at all. Or you have sex enough to get pregnant but since you hate sex with husband, you stop and push him away after last kid, or one or the other cracks first, wanting romance and sexual fullfillment but not having it in the marriage cus they are not a complete match, so you go outside the relationship for sexual needs.
All I am warning is that at some point, you either decide if he is also the right sexual partner for you or not, before marriage or before spending many more years with him.
If its been 4 years with no sex, my tendency would be to wonder if something is wrong with him. Yes its good that a guy doesnt force himself on the gal but if she isn't feeling sexually aroused and attracted to him with a building desire to do something about it after that long, it may be that he is only right for her on the friendship level, not the sexual one.
Also, could it be that he comes from a family that is biased against gays and he feels that way but couldn't live with himself if he were to acknowledge it so he is determined to have a relationship with a female to prove it wrong, that he is hetero. It isn't whom you force yourself to be in relationship with that makes you gay or hetero, but how you were born wired inside. If he can go 4 years without sex, my guess is something if off on his side.
If this is only about not getting pregnant, then ask yourself why you haven't gone to Dr. to get on birth control. That would be the natural course right now. If you'd like to discuss contraception with me, let me know, otherwise, it's your decision on whether to have anal sex.
It isn't going to be pleasant if you are uptight about sex in general as you will be tightly controlling the sphincter muscle that it would be hard for him to enter. Unless lots of your sensitve tissues are on the back wall of your vagina next to the anal passage, then you may not enjoy it as much as possible. More women have orgasms from the clit worked on which doesnt require penis in vagina sex, and secondly orgasms come for the G spot about 2 inches in on the top side/belly button side of vagina, then lastly, theres an A spot right infront of the cervix at the back also on the upper side which depending on the angle of the penis and the angle of the vagina is harder to hit than the other.
I've had anal sex but didn't find it did anything for me and it tended to mess up my ability to go to the bathroom normally for the next day or two, not worth it for me. YOu may enjoy it but it shouldn't be the only thing you are doing sexually with each other. In the end, its what you are ready for. YOu may find yourself not ready simply cus you don't know much about or what to expect. That can be remedied with studys on both male and female genetalia and how it works, how one achieves orgasm, how to prevent pregnancy choices, etc..... and I may be able to help with that if you ask.
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