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what just happened?
I am a 28 year old female and I went out on a date with a 40 year old guy I met from the college that I go to. At first things were going great. We went out to eat and then decided to go to the river for a walk and we got there we didn't even get out there before he started kissing me and I told him he was going to fast and he stopped for a little and then a few minutes later he started touching my breasts and I told him to stop but he kept touching them. I feel so violated he'd didn't even ask me help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
That's sexual abuse and he's way older than you which makes it worse.
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Stop dating him!
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I agree with adviceman.
For the future, anytime you meet a guy again, remember that all people, women included, tend to put their best foot forward when wanting to attract someone. Many intentionally will pretend to be someone they are not, putting on a false persona. I don't know how long you knew him from the college setting but that was only one side or aspect of who he is. SO you have to be careful but willing to spend time with the person in other settings so you can see if he's someone you can trust fully to be alone with in a setting where there are few or no people around.
If this was your first date, dinner was fine but just because you know him from college doenst tell you if you can trust being alone in the same vehicle. So next time, do as I did when I did internet dating. I met lots of guys and told them what coffee shop they could meet me at. We each buy our own coffee. If in that social setting all goes well, then i'd agree on the spot to another date. We'd pick a place and time but I told him, that until I knew him better and that I could trust him fully, I would meet him there in my own car. If you don't have a car, take a bus or taxi and make sure your not out beyond the time buses are running. This is for your safety. You are lucky all he did was kiss and grab and didn't go the whole way and rape you.
When I explained I would drive myself for the first 3, or 4 dates, the guys were always understanding and willing to give me the time to get to know and trust them. THey had to earn the trust first before I'd spend time alone where I couldn't call out for help.
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First things first you did nothing wrong and everything right.
He kissed you, you told him to stop that he was going to fast. That should have told him that you did not want to be touched in that manner. His touching your breasts is sexual harassment. You have every right to be violated.
Once you tell someone to stop it means just that STOP. It does not mean stop kissing me but you can play with my Breasts or do other things to me without my permission. Once you tell someone to stop and they continue it is sexual harassment and in this case battery, unwanted touching. In some instances it is also a form a form of rape depending on the laws in your state.
The fact that he did not physically rape you in the full sense of the word does not mean his you should not feel violated for you were in every sense of the word. I suggest you get some counseling from a qualified psychologist to help you put this in the proper perspective and that you learn how to deal with it and move on properly. You do need to deal with it and not try to bury it for if you try to bury it then it will come back to haunt you at the worst possible time.
You should also talk with your local police about charges you can file against him. Guys that never take no for an answer need to learn that the word no means something. The only way to learn that may mean being lead off campus in handcuffs. By filing charges you also prevent another girl from having to be harassed by him or worse. This is also something you can discuss in therapy with your therapist.
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