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December 1, 2010Answers:
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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
18/f
My ex-boyfriend, let's call him "Greg," and I broke up 2 months ago. But it seemed like we were kind of dragging it on even then... We were acting like a couple still, but we still considered ourselves single. I didn't want it to end, but he kept telling me to move on and to find another guy. He told me that he would be upset if I did, but he would be more relieved because he feels terrible for making me so sad. He said that he had no interest in girls at the moment, and that he just wanted to focus on school to become a surgeon.
He went on vacation for a week and a half, and we only spoke once since he his schedule was very hectic. So over the time, I was talking to an old friend of mine, let's call him "Steve", Steve and I started to develop feelings for each other. So now, we are in an open relationship. Since he travels back and forth to go to school in another state, it's an open relationship. Plus, the whole situation with Greg (taking me for granted, acting cold-hearted, tells me to move on, but yet tells me he does miss me) would be too confusion for him if we were in a relationship, especially since he also recently got out of a relationship, and he's been feeling really bitter about it. So we still call each other friends, and we say that we're not really together, we're just friends who go on casual dates, enjoying each other's company, and cuddling, no sex.
And since Greg came back from vacation, he texted me that he was back and he sends me text messages now and then since I don't really say much to him anymore. I am still getting over him, and I thought I would be okay with whatever he did... It hits me in the face, I heard that he was joking around with his friends about dating other girls, and that he wishes that he picked up a girl while he was on vacation, but it wasn't possible because it was such a short amount of time since everyone there was "cute and hot." It bothered me. I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if it's because he said he's not looking and not interested since he wanted to focus on school, or because I still like him??
What should I do about this whole situation with the open relationship and ex-boyfriend?
Move on like he said
This guy didn't want to be in a relationship with you, He told you that by telling you to move on. It's uncool to be in a relationship with someone who still dwells on a past relationship. Sure, Maybe he will miss the good times but from the sound of it he just wants to lay low and meet other people. Waiting around and wondering what you should do is just a waste of time especially if he told you to meet someone else. I've always said: If you remain friends then you prolong your pain. It's true, It's much easier to get over someone if you are not in contact with that person. If you don't like being in a open relationship with Steve then maybe you should just start over and meet someone who is available to you. Steve goes in and out of town and Greg just wants to see other people and focus on his schooling. Sometimes it's better to except things as they were, Greg is the past and he choose to have it that way. It's up too you if you want to remain friends with the guy but honestly if someone dumped me and told me to move on......I think that'd be the end of that.
My Question: What do I do?
My fiance and I were at a party, a young girl is claiming he was making out with her and ended up having sex at the party. I know this is not true because we were together the whole night.
My fiance is telling me to let it go, she is young and wanting attention. I would let it go if she were not telling our family and friends...and some of them believe her. My family dont understand why im still with him and think im desperate. This is one of many of her accusations...she is 17. My fiance is 23.
I'm going to ask you a question rather than give you advice just to be sure I'm not mistaken anything..
Are you sure this girl isn't referring to a time when you weren't around? Many women of age 17 would know better then to spread around a rumor that can cause legal trouble.
I just found out my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me in the begining I confronted him n he told me it was one time a few months ago he calls me n lies n says he has to go to.his moms n wont be home cause something happen but I just got off the phone with his mom we had a big fight over the phone n he didn't come home the next day he smelled like lavender down there n I found dirty text messages in his phone I love him so much n my son. calls him daddy I don't know what I should do please any advice will help
Listen, He cheated there is no what, ifs, or and about it
You have to come to terms with reality, If a man can't be faithful to you then you shouldn't be with him at all. When you choose a partner when you have a child you are not only looking for someone you can see a future with but you should look for someone that could make a suitable co-parent to your child also. There isn't much more obvious truth that this man has been with someone else. If you love your son then you need to withdraw him from bad influence. Find someone who will be faithful and committed to you and I recommend not letting your child get too attached to the point where they are calling this person "Daddy". It is not fair to a child to have people come and go in their lives, However you are also not entitled to be in a relationship with someone who is a liar. Dump him and move on
19/f
Im in love with a close mate that i have known for 8 years. i have told him how i felt and he has told me the same thing but we can never meet at the moment neither of us have the time and if i make time he is busy and when he is free im busy. he has also told me that he needs to sort his head out but i dunno how to take it or what to do? am i being blind and thats his way of saying i dont want to go there or is there really something worth waiting for?
If you both are busy to the point where you can make time to see one another then you both are too busy to even be thinking about being in a relationship right now. If he has a lot going on, Then maybe it's a hint you should move on and stop waiting around. It's not healthy to put yourself on hold and not allow yourself to meet other people and right now this guy just isn't available.
my friend went into 2 peoples cars and stole their GPS's then he sold them to cash converters . We went up there today to sell some stuff and they said that one of the gps's had come up as stolen and that the cops were working on the case . is he going to get arrested ? can he just say someone gave him the stolen gps's or do you think they fingerprinted the car and all that stuff ? what happens if they do catch him, hes 18? thanks !
Eunice is wrong
Your friend had stolen an item, he also broke into 2 cars. Guess what...You friend likely earned himself a theft and breaking and entering charge.
Cops don't let things like this go lightly, If he wanted to reduce the chances of charges being bought against him then he should of done the right thing and turned himself in. Also he knowingly decided to turn the GPS into cash well the chances of your friend having a criminal record are pretty high and you could get it expunged but this can only happen after 5 years of it sitting on your record.
Your friend was stupid, Now he needs to face some consequences to his actions. The charges he may face all depend on the crime committed but probably looking at Theft, Larceny, Breaking and Entering etc. but you know what.....If you don't want the time, Don't do the crime!
i have been with this same guy for over three years now,and we are good together.we have always had exciting sex life,and he says he loves me much,but the other nite,he told me he had sex wtother girl,4o5times,we started working on us,then he admited he was still seeing her.we r talking again,nd he swears no more lies,thathe is only wt me,but im hurt nd he dont understand y its so hard 4 me 2 believe in him again. can i ever get past this,o just walk away be 4 he hurts me again??
Are you serious?
He cheated and he is with someone else, He even openly admitted it too you.
I can promise you that if this guy cheated on you then he is very likely to cheat on his next girlfriend too. You are better off without him, Dump him and move on.
hey i'm the 12 year old girl with the 16 year old bf. alot my friends have really older boy friends.and they've had sex before. i'm really not sure what i should do? my friends are always talking abuot how they had sex. sometimes they would ask me if i've had sex with my bf and they know i'll say no. should i have sex with my bf?
If you have to listen to what other people do, Then you are not ready. At 12, You are way to young to be doing something like that anyway.
I'm just going to throw it out there
If you have sex because everyone else is doing it, Then you have fallen right under peer pressure just like many others do that screw up. This is exactly why many young people these days have children, Not because they thought they were "in love" but because everyone else had one, They fell under peer pressure and clearly because they were stupid. Sweetheart, Having sex is MUCH more than just doing it because everyone else is. It is a very big thing that should be done once you are older and more mature. Virginity is a special thing that shouldn't just be thrown away because you want to just get it over it. If someone ask you if you've had sex then you tell them that your sex life is personal and for them to mind their business. It's very rude for someone to bud their nose into someone else life anyway. You do NOT have to tell anyone anything and frankly you are not entitled to do so. Right now I really think you should wait a few years, It would be the smart and right thing to do. If your boyfriend is pressuring you into sex, Then you should leave him. Someone who loves and appreciates you will wait for you.
Some History:
Hey I met my ex in July of last year and we were in a relationship for 6 months, on and off, until I just got really sick of him. It's not his fault because I lacked the confidence to be with him, since he's a very handsome boy [He's 19 now I think, I still don't see a man in him yet. I'm older than him by a couple of months]. And he knows about it because I've told him before we got serious about how I was, and how I don't have much self-confidence. We confront each other about problems that we have in our relationship, but whenever I talk to him about other girls that he talks to, he says he'll fix it, but it doesn't feel like anything changes, so I broke up with him. And this same issue just keeps coming up and we keep getting back together and breaking up. I wasn't attached to him, as he was to me, and I definitely felt a weight lifted off my shoulders each time we broke up, it was like each time we broke up the more weight was lifted off, i don't know. But he just kept asking me to get back with him. Anyway I've told him how I felt about him talking to other girls, and I found some texts on his phone; he was chatting with this girl whom she said I love you to him. I also checked his sent msgs to see if he said anything to lead her on, or if she had misunderstood and didn't know that he was in a relationship, this was a month or two into our relationship so I really doubt it. I brushed it off, because I didn't want to be a pain in the ass, and I had other things that were more important to do [What could be more important than a serious relationship right? School. lmao, yes I prioritize it before anything else. All-nighters are hard enough, I'd rather prioritize my stress too.]. But anyway, I really don't know how many times we broke up but it's been more than 6 months now since we've broken him. I feel like I really hate him and I don't understand why. I know that in my relationship with him, I didn't feel a sense of trust that I should give him. He was very confidential...about other people's stories especially his girl friends, and so I don't mind that but eventually it just got suspicious, that's when I decided to stop trying to trust him and every time we broke up the more I just wouldn't open up to him anymore, and he would keep trying to find ways to be with me and to talk to me or whatever. So we stopped talking to each other. Or rather, I stopped talking to him. I deleted him from facebook, because he was basically spamming my news feed. He doesn't directly do anything because he's a passive aggressive person, but I know when he's pointing fingers or talking about me. I didn't want to hear it so I deleted him. He messages me to talk to him, and so we had a long conversation...then I stopped talking to him after a while, he tried to add me as a friend on facebook again which I rejected. He wasn't a bad boyfriend, well the first few times we ate out he always paid, then I decided that I'll pay for my half because the truth is we're both college students and we don't have that money. Sometimes I'd pay the full bill for him and sometimes he'd pay the full bill for me. We watched movies together and were around each other a lot.
I want to be friends with him, but then I don't want to be friends with him. I'm perfectly fine without him in my life at all [even though that's impossible because we go to college together], but I feel bad for him because he wants to be my friend. I just don’t want to be a B****.I would've been friends with him a while ago if he didn't have such a cocky approach. He said "So, you feel like being friends again?" Sometimes I just want to punch/slap him and just say, "N**** IF YOU WANT TO FRIENDS THEN START BY SAYING HEY" because I want to leave things in the past but when he says that it indirectly brings it up. I feel like he'd annoy the hell out of me if we were friends. My friends don’t like him that much either, and his high school friend who studies together with us in the same college is happy for me that we’re not together because apparently he was a bad person in high school, and he really cautions me.
Get over it
You said yourself he wasn't the best boyfriend to have around and it's been 6 months since you two were even in a relationship. Lets face it, Being friends with exes is nothing but baggage. It rarely ever works out unless you both are mature enough to respect one another. You just stated how you would be fine if he wasn't in your life, If this were really true then why are you asking us if you should be friends with him or not. Sounds to me that you aren't completely over him. This guy is the past, If he is too immature for you then move on. Like I said exes are nothing but baggage.
I'm already in a long term relationship, but I have had a crush on another guy for almost 2 or 3 months now. I know it's wrong for me to have feelings for someone else, but it's not going away. I even told my boyfriend about it, because I feel so wrong about it, and I feel like he deserves to know since he is the one I am with. My boyfriend obviously was upset and since he knows the guy, he basically hates him now, which is to be expected and I completely understand.
So naturally I don't know where I stand with my boyfriend now. We've discussed my feelings, but I definitely have mixed feelings. I have love for my boyfriend but my mind keeps wandering towards someone else.
Everyone I've sought advice about this has said the same thing: It's wrong for you to have feelings for someone else, so stop communicating with the new guy you have feelings for and eventually the feelings will go away. And reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend: either be in it, or out of it.
So I've tried to stop talking to the guy I'm crushing on, but I honestly don't want to. I keep going back and fourth about it.
And I think I have chosen to continue to stay with my current boyfriend, and I think we're both happy to be dating each other, but I still have these other lurking feelings for someone else and it's BOTHERING ME so much!!! What do I do?
You've already made up your mind on what you want
If you are not happy in your current relationship then you owe it too your boyfriend to tell him the truth. You've pretty much told him what you want by telling him you had feelings for someone else. It would be wrong to lead him on thinking you still care for him when your feelings are dying out and your heart is not there anymore. If you want to be with someone else then tell your boyfriend how you feel, If you want to be with the boyfriend then suck it up and stop talking to the new guy. It's wrong to lead people on and play with their feelings.
So my girlfriend went to a party with an ex. There are two of them there actually. It is a twenty first birthday and they are drinking. Is this okay? Should I not be worried. I would not consider drinking with my exes. I would feel like I was betraying my love. I just want to know if I am being paranoid. I mean people can get crazy when they are drunk. I trust her with all my heart. But I know what happens when people get drunk. Esspecially when exes are involved. Also she is staying the night.
There are many flags in this one
Alcohol is not an excuse at all for cheating and erratic behavior, We are responsible for how much alcohol we consume and how much we don't.
Think about it: She is going to a party where there will be alcohol and old memories. What are the chances of something happening? .....Eh very high!
If your girlfriend doesn't see anything wrong with going well then obviously your girlfriend needs to hear a reality check, This is where you give her an ultimatum like DN said below: If she goes to the party it's over or....She can suck it up grow some brain power and keep what she still has. If she decides to go to the party, Then apparently the relationship didn't mean as much as you though it did.
It's a very bad idea dude......but I'm going to have to agree with DN again maybe you should find someone more suitable.
My son's father and I recently had a bad break up. He is very emotionally abusive. Not only does he say things about me but my family also. He gets so angry that he has told me the worst things anybody can say to you.Im scared that he is going to come back and think everything is okay, this is what he usually does. I don't want him back anymore because I know that he will never change. I also feel bad for my son he is only 4 months old and he is my pride and joy. I just don't want him to think that I couldn't keep his dad around because he was rude to my family. I know he will be coming for his stuff in a couple of days. I just don't know how to handle the situation if he comes back and wants to work things out?
If your son's father is abusive and is a threat too you and your son then you should get some sort of restraining order against him, If you feel the need you could have a cop escort him on the property to obtain his belongings. Razhie is right, You don't owe it too your son to be in a relationship that makes you miserable. If he is abusive then you DO owe it too your son to protect both you and your child. There are many ways of handling the situation but first I think you may want to consider taking this matter to court and getting custody of your son. Perhaps the court can arrange weekly visits for the father to see his son or if he is an incredible threat then supervised visitation rights. This man will not come back only if you don't let him back, Assuming by what you've written that you already know it is not healthy to have your son in such an environment. If he comes back for his stuff then if you feel more comfortable ask a friend to stop by the house for a few hours while he is there picking up his belongings. If he refuses to leave the property then you pick up the phone and call the police. This is how you handle it
What if the ibuprofen doesn't work and I end up coming back with brain damage? I'd be worse off than I was before.
We cannot give you suicide advise, We are not authorized to do so.
AM I a bad daughter? I stopped talking to my dad, and I feel bad about it.
Hi I am posting this question because I am a 23 year old college student and I am a girl and I have asked this very question to my friends and family and to my boyfriend but they all love me so I wanted to ask it in a way from people who don't know me so that I can get a honest answer so here it goes. I have a Father who was taken out of my life when I was a baby because he was cheating and beating my mom and he was on drugs and had bipolar disorder so my mom took him out of my life and finally told me about my dad when I was nine and of a nine year old still wants to get to know her dad so I did and everything was wondefull untill I turned 11 and my dad started doing weed around me and molesting me and hitting me and calling me names and saying I was a loser and so on for years I put up with it and tryed to get my dad to change but he didn't and things got even worse so when I was 20 I stayed away from him and didn't call him again untill a few months ago and he is still the same person i cried and begged him to change and he laughed at me and said whatever and a bunch of other stuff happened so i stopped talking to him like my friends and family told me to and my boyfriend but I cant help but wonder if I am a bad daughter. Should I gave him a other chance?
No
Sometimes despite people being family or not we have no choice but to put them behind us in order to move on and get over it. Your father has abused you mentally, physically and emotionally. There is no need at all to have him in your life, You cannot change people. In order for someone to change they have to be willing to change on their own and honestly your father isn't willing to change at least he hasn't been willing to change over a course of 20 years. This man beat your mother and did drugs before you were born and as you got older he was still the same old asshole he was before you were born.
Let me explain something...
You do NOT need someone like this in your life, I know it hurts to not have a father around. I do not have a father in my life either but sometimes things are for the best. I highly suggest you seek some consoling because of the abuse that you went through, If you need to help you can seek help but stay away from someone who is going to kill you emotionally. You have to believe in yourself and stop depending on someone who isn't at all worth your time and tears. If you can try and seek a protection order against him, If nobody knows about the alleged abuse I would report it, Your father really deserves to be nowhere but jail. Should you feel bad? No! You did nothing wrong. If he calls you, Hang up. If you can, Change your number. You should know now that your father isn't going to change and if he proceeds to harass you then you need to go to the police.
I met this guy at work a few weeks ago. I really like him. I first met him when i was sent to his area for a day because they were short staff. I didn't know what to do so he worked with me and showed me what to do. As I working he complimented me saying "nice". Where we were working at the day was very hot so he offered me a cup so I could get something to drink. He was very nice and helpful towards me. Then another day I saw him outside of work and he kept looking over at me but didn't say nothing. Do you think he likes me? I want to talk to him again but idk how to go about it what should I do?
Don't jump he gun
Just because a guy tells you you did a good job and offers you something to drink doesn't technically mean that he likes you. Also, Be careful because some work places have a no co-worker relationship policy.
Okay, I'm always really horny and I want to go on porn sites, but I'm afraid someone will figure out what I'm doing, if I clear the history on my iPad, will people be able to pull it up again? Help!!
Technically Yes
An Ipad is no different than a computer it's all technology. When you look at porn on a computer it stores data in the hardware despite deleting history or not. Each page you visit leaves a footprint someone where in your phone. Anything is traceable no matter how hard you try to delete. Frankly, Looking at porn on the computer is a bad idea, Same thing goes for trying to look at it on an Ipad it can create a virus. Dude the best way to solve the problem is just go to the store buy a video and watch it on a TV because do you really want to take the risk of destroying an expensive Ipad?
Now another pointer....When cops investigate in a crime such as "sexting" they can easily trace a photo that has been sent via phone to phone even if someone has tried to delete the evidence. Basically, No matter what again it will always be somewhere in your Ipad.
MY parents and I are sick of my cousin, my brother and his friends being loud and obnoxious in front of our house and selling drugs in our driveway and in my brothers room. My parents cant kick them out because my brother broke 2 doors and he'll try to fight my dad. We are really sick of them drug dealing in front of our house, they carry guns and I think that's another reason why my dad is scared of them, they have pulled guns on my uncle and other people that they fight in our yard. They park in our yard and run in our house whenever they want to. The police told my aunt she was coming from the drug house and she doesnt even do drugs. My parents do not do drugs or sell them. I think they are afraid to call the police. They think that if they call the police on my brother, cousin and his friend they will get into trouble since theres drug dealing going on around our house, they also think we will get taken away. These people are very loud in our yard, they our rude and disrespectful and I want it all to stop. If we call the police will me and my brother get taken away? What number do I call to report illegal drug dealing?
I live in texas
You need to call the police
If you don't someone could end up getting in a load of trouble and not only will your cousins and brother get into legal trouble but your parents as well. If they are selling in the house and on the property then technically your parents could be charged with possession and could be looking at jail time.
The best thing to do would again to inform the police. If it is kept a secret all someone has to do is go to the cops only again it wouldn't just cost your brother and your cousins but your entire family would be in deep shit.
14/f(i turn 15 in September)
So...im just gna jump right to it! My friends always say im relli pretti, but i feel like im a ugly monster! Im blonde with brown/dark green eyes and i have a slightly tanned skin. Im short(i dont know how tall i am because its too depressing to measure myself)
And i weigh about 143 pounds(65 kg)...I hate how i look!!! Ive had more then a few relationships but none of them lasted very long, back then(about 3 years ago)i wasnt skinny but i wasnt fat either.
Sine ive gone to high school(im in the 9th grade)i haven't had even one relationship.
Plus, my friend is really skinny and pretty, and i feel like i will never be good enough for any guy, while im friends with her...I love her very much and she is like my second sister....I dont know what to do!? please help me
You think to little of yourself
I hate to tell you, Looks are not everything in a relationship. You will eventually realize when you get older. I personally look for a great personality, I could care less what someone looked like.
Let me explain something: Would a guy want to date someone who looks like a super model when her personality sucked? No.....I wouldn't think so.
A guy would want to be with someone who is a good person and is not afraid to be themselves. That is what it's all about. You are insecure but at the same time sweetheart you are only 14 years old.
Everything seems to be about looks right now, Who cares what your friend looks like. Be happy to be who you are and as much as you may think she is real pretty nobody is perfect.
How can I focus when I'm depressed?
I'm a 31 year old female. Victim of mobbing and wrongfully terminated from my HR job. Broke= no health insurance= no meds or therapy. Lost my father to cancer. Moved to PA, so I have no friends. Jobless with college degree & discriminated for being Hispanic. I want to do many things to cure my depression by myself, but I can't focus. I want to write but when I start I get 5 different stories in my head and lose focus. Any advice?
There are places that offer patients an opportunity to pay their bills off little by little, This is called a sliding scale. The way this works is you would call up and ask if a doctors office would be willing to see you if you put down monthly payments to pay off what you'd owe. Even if it is as little as $10/month. There is always a way to fix things.
Second: If you can you can try to file for unemployment if not then I would start putting up fliers for maybe babysitting or doing any sort of housework. Maybe look into Housekeeping at a hotel..I do know that the summer is often their busiest season. Another great option would to be to seek some volunteer work to gain the experience.
Third: I would definitely try to seek counseling if you can, A place that does offer a sliding scale to patients is Thundermist, You can Google to see if they offer one in your area.
Now another thing, Someone once told me that the best writing is when you just write how you feel even if it doesn't always make sense. Keeping a journal is a great hobby and is great for the mind. Journalism will also help you cope as well. Make sure you get out of the house, The worse thing you can do is mope around and do nothing when you feel depressed, Try and make an effort to walk about 20 minutes a day this will help the depression to balance out. Just remember there is always a way and there is always help out there.
We both are in a relationship from 5-6 months, and I know he is my perfect guy, although he loves me a lot but keeps on telling that how can I look better and be better at everything, so is he satisfied with me? Does he want to be with me? and how can I become perfect for him, I really want to....
Mum is right
If your boyfriend can't accept you for who you are then you shouldn't be with him. It sounds to me like this guy may be trying to change you, Why change who you are? Wouldn't it be more work to be in a relationship when you aren't able to be yourself? I would think so! Don't ever change who you are for anyone, Relationships aren't about being someone your not and changing to make someone satisfied. Relationships ARE about being yourself because that is what someone should be attracted too.
19/f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years and haven't had many problems at all. But just a few days ago, we got into an argument about how I feel he doesn't really care for me the same anymore.
That night, I had a dream that we were still dating, but he had taken me to the mall so I could see an old friend. In my dream I was sad and had really been missing him, so I went up and gave him a big hug and we started talking and it was wonderful, and then I woke up.
Then yesterday night, I was with my boyfriend and we started to kiss a little, and then he told me to leave. It made me really mad. When I got home I didn't even talk to him.
But then when I fell asleep I had another dream about the same guy from the other night. This time we were alone, and he had just gotten home from this big trip and I hugged him and then he kissed me. The weird part was, I liked it. I liked it more than I like my boyfriend kissing me. In my dream I was so happy and it was like...fireworks!
What does this mean???
You are bored and unsatisfied in your current relationship and are dreaming of what you want and what you could have.
Honestly, Are you really happy with your boyfriend? This is obviously the key question, From the sound of it you are wanting more of out a relationship. Dreams often mean something and dreams are our subconscious telling us something. If you want more then you need to seek more and whether that is too leave your relationship that is up too you.