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Would you be ok with your partner going to a party with their ex, getting drunk and spending the night?
So my girlfriend went to a party with an ex. There are two of them there actually. It is a twenty first birthday and they are drinking. Is this okay? Should I not be worried. I would not consider drinking with my exes. I would feel like I was betraying my love. I just want to know if I am being paranoid. I mean people can get crazy when they are drunk. I trust her with all my heart. But I know what happens when people get drunk. Esspecially when exes are involved. Also she is staying the night.
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okay tell her your sorry but you don't trust him around her alone. Why would he possibly want a party with just the 2 of him. Say no, you don't trust him and you love her so much you'll be sick with worry all night. If she refuses say it wouldn't be so bad if you weren't staying aswell. If she does go you won't trust her because you don't trust him, tell he how you feel and fast
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Well.. I disagree with some of the previous advisors - I don't think she *necessarily* wants to hook up with her exes. It may happen, there being booze around etc, but only if she lets it. But just to say that often people and their exes run in the same social circles, so this isn't necessarily a big danger zone.
I'm not sure if this party already happened, it's not clear from your question..? If she got drunk and stayed the night when she hadn't planned to, then yes, be worried. If this party hasn't happened yet, why aren't you invited too?
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Well of course their gonna do something, silly. Personal I think they'll do something more then what friends do, if they are partying. Also their gonna stay a night with eachother..? Like wth is with that?. I don't even understand why this even allowed to happen. I advise you to stop this from happening or your gonna get hurt, or why don't you go she's your girlfriend she's should spend time with you, not her ex. And 's if this goes down a lot then she's prolly a slut...sorry.
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There are many flags in this one
Alcohol is not an excuse at all for cheating and erratic behavior, We are responsible for how much alcohol we consume and how much we don't.
Think about it: She is going to a party where there will be alcohol and old memories. What are the chances of something happening? .....Eh very high!
If your girlfriend doesn't see anything wrong with going well then obviously your girlfriend needs to hear a reality check, This is where you give her an ultimatum like DN said below: If she goes to the party it's over or....She can suck it up grow some brain power and keep what she still has. If she decides to go to the party, Then apparently the relationship didn't mean as much as you though it did.
It's a very bad idea dude......but I'm going to have to agree with DN again maybe you should find someone more suitable.
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First, let me assure you you aren't being paranoid... this is a bad idea all around.
Now, I don't know if you will listen here, but I will give it a try: The largest problem I see with this is the fact she doesn't see an issue with it. This leave two possibilities that I can see:
1) She is seriously lacking in brainpower and/or common sense. (In which case, you should seriously consider finding someone who is more your intellectual equal.)
2) She really wants to have sex with her ex(s) and is planning on using one of the most tired excuses out there: "Oh poor me, it was the booze, I didn't know what I was doing!"
Either way, you have some thinking to do.
Let us pretend it is option #1. Let me fast forward to your future for a minute:
You are married, have two kids and YOU think everything in fine. Then she does this exact same thing. At that point, how would you feel about it?
You should feel the same way now. If she lacks sense, there is a chance she could grow into it, but you don't want to be the one hanging around until the missing part of her brain develops.
If she is looking to relive old times with her ex(s) then you know what you should do. If you do dump her over this, make sure you do NOT issue an ultimatum like: "If you do this we are through!"
Why? Well, she may not do it then. Why is that a bad thing? Remember my example about your future? She may not do it now, but if she has that cheating(or plainly stupid) way of thinking, it will still be there down the road.
Remember: In my experience, there is exactly one reason that people maintain friendships with their ex (excluding people who have kids together) and that is to leave open the possibility of getting back together.
How many reasons do you thing there are to have all night drinking parties with your ex(s?)
Not many reasons.
Now, if you want some advice on how to handle it, I will offer this:
YOU don't do anything. Only react to what she does. Do NOT go break up the party and make a scene. If she goes to the party, then that is where SHE WANTS TO BE. If you make any demands upon her past that point, you are both wasting your time on a woman who is clearly not worth a minute of it, along with giving her an excuse for her actions.
You break up the party, and she will just say: "Look what I have to put up with! He is so awful!"
Just let her do whatever she wants, and if she chooses a drunken sleepover with her ex(s) then, if it were me, I would choose to be single until I found someone who had some respect for herself.
Good luck.
P.S. If this does end badly, I know it will hurt, BUT I am telling you from experience that it is better to know how a person is RIGHT NOW, as opposed to finding out 3 days before your 10th wedding anniversary. Take it from an old pro on this one. :-(
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