I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me.

You posted this exact same question a few days ago but you said you were nine, not thirteen. Either way, you're too young.


I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me.

You are not going to like this but: you're too young for sex. The fact that you haven't finished puberty yet should be telling you that your body is not ready for sex either.


My boyfriend and I are 17 and 18 years old. We started a long distance relationship a little over six months ago. Back then, I was still a virgin and he knew that. However, a few months ago I cheated on him and lost my virginity to a guy I honestly had no feelings for. I was completely aware of what I was doing and I did it because I really just wanted to get it over with. I made sure there were no feelings attached. Now, the guy still chases after me, but I want no business with him, or any other guy rather than my boyfriend. I love him to death and really have no trouble remaining faithful. I realized it wasn't worth it and he's truly the only guy I ever want to be with. However, I know that he'll want to break up with me and his heart will be completely shattered if he knows. He keeps talking about how magical he wants my first time to be once we finally see each other again. And I believe it will be magical because it'll be with him. I don't want to lose him, but I do think he needs to know. I also don't think it's any conversation to have via phone/text/video. A close friend told me not to say anything '"cause there's no point". I know if we were in the same time zone it'd be easier to confess and try to win his trust back, but I have a serious disadvantage by not being able to daily demonstrate my true feelings towards him. I've thought of telling him in the far future, once we're living together, but I don't know how he'll feel about it after such a long time...
Also, I'm actually kind of glad I did it only because it was extremely painful, and he wasn't the one who caused that terrible experience. The guy was gentle, so it would've been bad either way. Should I tell him when we finally meet again? If so, should I do it as soon as possible, or do I give it some time? If I do choose to tell him, I know I probably shouldn't have sex with him until he's known, but I'm terribly scared of ruining the possibility of a future with him.
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice,
Thank you.

If the roles were reversed, what would you want to happen? Would you want to know that he had slept with someone else or would you be better off not knowing? If he told you he'd just done it to get it over with and that it didn't mean anything, would you believe him? Would you stay with him?

What happens if you tell him and he says don't worry he did the same thing?

Answer these questions honestly and then you'll have a better idea what to do now. The worst you can do is hide it from him and then tell him far in the future. Either tell him now or not at all.

No matter what you do, make sure you have been tested for any STDs before you sleep with someone else.


My wife and I have been married for 47 years. Admittedly shew has made some good financial decisions over the years but now I am concerned about something very serious. We have approximately 95,000.00 in nth stock amrket. ait goes up and down, most.y down lately. I want it all sold and the money put into the bank where it never goes down. She refuses and I hate confrontation. She will simply not talk about it. I asked her one question that I thought would seal the sell it all deal. "Is there more of a chance of it getting to 100,000 or going to 80,000.00"? we've all seen the crashes and we're to old to go through another one. What do you suggest?

If neither of you are financial advisors (and seeing one together is an option of course) then who is to say who is right? The stock market is volatile and unpredictable (to an extent) - it could go really well for you but equally it could go badly. How is it invested/how is that split? If it is all in one stock then sure that could be risky, but most investments these days are spread over shares of varying levels of risk meaning that you are reasonably assured of making a profit.

Why don't you put half in the bank and keep half in the stock market? If you split it 50:50 and then one of you can have your "I told you so" moment in a years' time :)


I wish mt husband didn't smoke. We've been talking about him quitting for some time now and it seems like every time we do, he just gives me some excuse as to why he can't quit at the moment. He always says he'll quit when he's ready and big surprise, he's never ready. There's always some reason or stress as to why he can't quit. Not only is it hurting his health (and mine to an extant), it's an expensive habit that I don't like condoning. Any advice as to how I could help him quit would be much appreciated. Thanks!

He has to want to quit on his own. It's sounds weird but if you are always going on about it then it might be making him want to smoke MORE. It took me a long time to stop smoking but when I finally made the decision that I wanted to stop, it was easy. I read Allan Carr's Easy Way which helped me a lot, with the change of mindset required to quit. The problem is you can't just shove a book in his face and expect an instant result.

I know a lot of friends have finally quit because they have kids and they don't want to harm them with the smoke, and also they have decided they need to be healthy for their family. You would need to subtley show him that his health (or lack of) will have an effect on his family down the line.

Basically it is a question of desire to stop but he has to find that within himself.


I enjoy going to massage parlors. Sometimes I get a 'happy ending' and sometimes I don't. Would this be considered cheating?

Yes, you are cheating. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and your partner went for a massage with a 'happy ending' ? Would you be ok with that?


Please what can I use to add more weight

Track your calories. First figure out what you should be eating for your size and activity level using the Harris Benedict equation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harris%E2%80%93Benedict_equation

Once you have done that, aim to eat MORE than the daily recommended amount, to gain weight. You can eat about 250-500 calories a day extra. If you go to gym and train with weights you will add on muscle (mostly). If you don't do any strength training you will add on fat.


How do I lose weight?

Because you are so young you need to involve your parents or carers with your weight loss goals. At 8 years old, unless you are very overweight, you should not be worrying about dieting. Speak to your parents about how you feel about your body and let them help you.


Hey so i have this friend, she's a girl and I'm a guy. She's my best friend, and we hang out all the time. The only problem is whenever we hang out, we always sit around and watch netflix. Most of the time she's not even watching the show, she's just playing a game on her iPhone. We used to talk non stop too, so I'm kind of depressed it stopped. Is there any way I can break the tension and silence. How can i bring the life back into our relationship?

Do something else instead of watching netflix! Play a card game or a board game (great for bringing out a bit of silliness) or simply go for a walk.


should i have sex with a gay guy yes or no?

Do you want to? If you do then yes you should. If you don't then don't.


I have lied to my boyfriend his car handle fell off so I try to fix it with some super glue he came to my house that evening and asked me if I tried to fix his hand on his car with super glue and I stood in front of him face to face and I said no so he said well I'm going to call my son and see if he done it so you got a hold of his son and his son said no I didn't do it look at the cameras that you have at your house and it will tell who did it. So the next day when he left for work I text him that I did ithe forgive me for that stupid lie but he still broke up with me because I did it face to face if you truly love somebody you shouldn't have to lie to him you should tell them the truth what should I do I asked him for a second chance but he's not listening or even talking to me

How long had you been with your boyfriend? This doesn't sound like something that should end a long term relationship, so if you had been together for a long time then he needs to explain to you the actual reasons for breaking up with you. That said, you shouldn't have lied to him in the first place! If this is a new relationship and he broke up with you for lying to him then that is understandable. If you feel you *had* to lie to him about the handle then this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship and you are probably better off with someone else. But you should find out what the underlying reasons are, he owes you that much at least.


My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends)

Why can't your husband come to the wedding? Then you would be together on your anniversary and also at your friend's wedding.

Considering you effectively "hijacked" your friend's wedding date I would say you owe it to her to be at her wedding. You have already promised her you would be there and as you say your husband knows full well that you will attend your friend's wedding. He shouldn't make you choose between the two - anniversaries are not as important as weddings. You are right: he should be more understanding.


I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years now. He was in the same college, two years elder. Passed out the year we started dating and started working. We haven't ever had major problems except for once when he couldn't clear a major exam and his parents blamed it on his distraction because of me but we eventually got back because he got a good job and he loved me.

We just spent the last ten days together on a holiday with his friends and a couple of mine and then at his place alone for a couple of days.
We got into a petty fight two days back and he told me he really thinks we should see new people. He feels since I'm just 19 and he's 22 there is a lot more in life then getting serious for each other.

I let him be for a day and when we met next to talk this out he said he doesn't want to see new people. He was just saying that to make me angry. But he feels like we should break up because he thinks relationships are restrictive and he feels bound and he can't be himself. He told me he wants to still be with me and do all the things we used to do like go out for dinners, watch movies etc but he can't be physical with me. He feels when we do he gets too emotionally attached to me and he doesn't want that .We are too into each other.

He accepted that he still loves me and will because I'm a huge part of his life and he doesn't want to feel this way for any other girl. But right now he feels like he isn't fit for relationships and he can't see himself in one ever, even in the future. He knows i'd wait for this to work out but he said he didnt want to give me false hopes. He would try to make this work out too but right now he cant.

He feels now that we are bound by a relationship he would be able to express his feelings better in front of me. He loves me as much as he loves him mom and best friends and he wants me to be there but he said he can live without the sex.

We agreed on neither breaking up or dating. And I couldn't accept calling this a friendship so we just agreed on not defining it till he clears his head. But I can't stop feeling hurt and insecure.

I love him. But I can't understand what happened to him suddenly. What am I supposed to do? I'm in a delimma because I want him and this relationship back. Is there a chance ? Is this just a phase and should I just play along by giving him time?

He is breaking up with you but he is doing it the long way round because he doesn't want to hurt you. Which is sweet of him, but the end result will be the same.


I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do

Set it up yourself? What's stopping you? If you are old enough to create your own accounts on social media, then there is no reason why you can't do it without asking their permission.


I sent a few nudes to a guy I met online and he's sent me money in return for them and now he's blackmailing me saying if I don't send him something else then he'll post all my pics on the internet.. Is there anything I can do to stop him? Can the police do anything?

Just ignore him and stop responding to his messages.


can kissing and fingering causes late periods



Do your calories "reset" each day? For example: Say that I ate 2,500 calories today. 1,500 of them are burnt off, are the other 1,000 are stored as fat? Are the leftover 1,00 still there the next day for me to burn off or do I just have more fat? I'm trying to lose weight so this is really important, thanks!!!!

People block off calorie intake and output into daily chunks because it makes things easier to calculate, but your body doesn't really care about any of that as it is an organic entity, not a machine! Some people break it down into weeks so they have say 14,000 calories for the week and then they "save" calories for the weekend if they know they are going to a party or something.

Saving calories to spend at the weekend is ok to do but don't starve yourself just so you can binge at the weekend.

I would advise against trying to make back a deficit the day after you overeat (i.e. you ate too much one day so you eat less the next day) because this will soon trap you in a horrible cycle of bingeing and starving that is difficult to get out of.


hi i m rachel from china. when i and my twin sister was 7 months old my parents divorced and my mom left soon for europe. I stayed with my maternal grandparents but my mothers brothers never liked it, and took my grandmother away when i was 16, and my grandfather died when i was 13. I had a tough childhood and then i and my sister were thrown out of the house at the age of 16. We lived in a rented apartment. My mothers asks for money from her brothers and she pays the fees, she is very rude and always gets her way. She never listens to me and my sister and always says that she wont send any money for university . I always try to have a bond but she is too strict . She is emotionally and physically abusive. I have just stayed with her for a year. she is a narcissist . I feel lonely and sad. And my family is very traditional and non supportive, she blames me for her divorce and says she never wanted kids, i just keep quiet. whenever she calls she shouts. I just feel i had good parents and a good family.

You mother is the problem here so it's probably best to avoid contacting her where possible. Don't listen to anything she says about the choices she made when she was younger - you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Can you speak to your uncles directly about the financial support you need? Remember that you and your sister are a team, and you will always be there for each other. Look to each other for emotional support when things get tough. Remember there is always pleasure and peace to be had, even if it is simply going for a walk outside.


Hi I'm gabi, I'm 19 years old and a fairly healthy young adult. the only problem I have is ulcerative colitis.. if you don't know what that is, I basically have to restrict dairy and white flour because those are my "irritants." which basically means if I eat food containing milk or white flour I will poop JUST blood. it makes me VERY faintish so I try to avoid those foods as much as possible.. but I'm kinda scared because sometimes I'll give in and eat something that I know will cause me bleeding (it's sooo hard to resist foods that contain these things because so many yummy things contain them) and instead of dealing with the bloody consequence I've made myself get sick. now I'm not bulimic and I actually think I'm too thin now but like I make myself vomit only lonce a week or once every two weeks and it's been happening since May... depending on when I binge into the foods that contain milk and white flour. it's just that the consequence (bloody stool) is THAT disturbing that id rather make myself vomit than have bright red blood spew out of my sphincter. I'm worried I'm gonna develop a heart problem? is that possible for the amount of times I've made myself sick ? I'm so mad at myself. I don't want to die and I'm scared I won't wake up one morning. idk I think I read too many things on the internet. whenever I google the dangers of vomitting it always says "heart problems." like I don't want that!? I have a history of anxiety and I feel like ever since I read the frightening information on the internet about how vomitting causes heart problems I've been starting to give myself ACTUAL palpitations & symptoms of heart problems which I think are from the anxiety.. the only thing that gets me is that what if I'm thinking it's "just my anxiety" when in fact I actually gave myself heart problems..? btw I got an EKG in March after suffering bad palpitations for this same reason ( I was making myself vomit bc of my milk and white flour contaminated food binges) and everything turned out 100% fine even though I felt like I was dying. the vomitting died down in April and some of May but picked up again towards the end of May til now. I already made a promise with myself that I won't do it again but do you think I could have given myself a heart problem that wasn't there in march? PLEASE help.

Throwing up will give you many more problems than heart palpitations. On top of what has been mentioned by adviceman, the stomach acid from throwing will erode your teeth - how do you think that will look? Throwing up could also reduce your fertility and therefore your ability to have children one day, and it can increase your anxiety too! It seems like a lot of negative consequences from bingeing on dairy and white flour, doesn't it?

When you avoid dairy and white flour you are not being deprived - you are in fact making sure that your body is happy and healthy! Would you drink poison? No, of course you wouldn't. But that is effectively what you are doing when you binge on these foods.


last few day me and my girlfriend doing sex but i did not us condoms because i fuck only her back hole so not pussy and do oral sex so she get pregnent or not

No, your girlfriend can't get pregnant from anal or oral sex.


<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker