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My boyfriend is trying to give hints that he wants to take the relationship further, he's asking me how far I would go and what I would do, asking me to send him dirty pictures and if I would have sex. I'm 14 years old! I'm not ready, I'm not comftable with my body and I'm not comftable thinking about it. I want to tell him somehow that I'm not ready to go that far yet but I'm not sure how to tell him, he said he would never force me which I hope he won't...
Anyone got any advice on how I can tell him without it breaking us apart?
Also he wants me to send him a picture of me, a dirty one... I really don't want to, how can I tell him I don't want to do this aswell?
Thankyou x

Just tell him directly. Say you are not ready for what he is asking you to do yet and that you are not going to do it until you are ready, and that includes giving him pictures of yourself etc.

This is a bit risky and he may break up with you, which you need to be prepared for. If he does break up with you over this, then he was not the type of boyfriend you want anyway, was he? At 14 you still have plenty of time to find someone who wants to be with you for you and not just for sex.

If he says ok he will wait then that's great but you need to make it clear that he must not put pressure on you for anything. Trust me, it will get annoying if he is whining about it all the time! If for one second you think he may force you then get rid of him.

Hopefully he will make the right choice and stay with you for you but if not at least you know sooner rather than later.

Best of luck, I hope it works out well for you x

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I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...?

It's genetic. You may as well ask "why are my eyes blue" or "why am I this height". You most likely got your fair skin (and eye color, height etc) from your mom or your dad.

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Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years now and have an 8 month old son together. Up until a month before our son was born we had a good sex life and were having sex a lot. After our son was born we started bearly having sex about once a month. Now he gets all mad when I try to have sex with him and tells me no. He doesn't even want me to see him naked or touch his private area. I feel like we are little kids. Please tell me why you think he doesn't wanna have sex with me. It is really hurting me.

Your boyfriend sounds like he is having trouble adjusting to having a child to look after. I would take what he said about not wanting another child at face value - he simply doesn't want another child. Are you using contraception at the moment? If not then this will be the biggest reason he doesn't want to have sex with you. If you make it clear that having sex will not make you pregnant, he will come back to you.

You can use condoms, the pill, an IUD, or any other contraception your doctor prescribes.

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I believe my daughter that has cheered since she was 6 yrs old was cut from her High School Ssquad for her Senior Year because of predetermined bias. The coaches from this year are leaving and were very unhappy with their job and took alot of it out on the girls. My daughter would raise her hand many times in class to ask questions when she or the girls were being treated in a unfair or mean way. As a parent i now know i shouldve went to school with concerns but didnt want it to be political suicide as far as my daughter was concerned. I now regret that decision very much. I believe with all my heart her scores with predetermined bias given by these two out going coaches (still teachers)were what cost her a place on squad for her Senior year. It was not based on talent but personal agenda. The school does not allow you to view your childs score sheet. Although i know this is in a file as i have had the activities superintendant view it and i believe my childs photo is attached. Can the school disallow my access to this information?

You would be better off teaching your daughter that life is unfair sometimes than challenging a result you don't like. Were you at the trials? Maybe your daughter just wasn't as good as the other girls. You are biased toward your daughter so try to keep that in mind before you go campaigning on her behalf. Is her place on the squad as important to her as it seems to be to you? There are other things in life besides cheerleading.

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Fear has destroyed my life. Made so many stupid mistakes. Is there chance to start again.
I moved to the states 12 years ago , i came on a visa waiver and overstayed. My mum has borderline personality disorder, i so badly wanted to get away from her. I met a guy on the internet, i was in love , visited him in the states and overstayed my waiver. He refused to apply for a adjustment of status for me, so i lived here illegally i was too afraid to go back to england, i had nowhere to go.
We were married. He ended up meeting another girl on the internet (this time from thailand) He broke up with me , we stayed married anyway untill he decided to marry the girl from the internet. We divorced. I stayed here anyway and ended up in a severley abusive relationship that lasted 6 years. I was terrified of him , had no self esteem and too scared to leave. I met my current husband 3 years ago. He has been so wonderful , he has helped to build me into a real person . We married sept 2011 and have a 1 month old baby together. I want to be legal, but i dont know if i can. Im still so scared. Is there any help for me?

I was in a similar situation when I moved to the UK. I was married to an EU citizen, but when we got divorced I had no idea this nullified my visa, and I overstayed for 3 years. I have subsequently applied for and been granted a new visa. I had to go personally to the British High Commission in my country of birth and explain what had happened, and they were sympathetic to my situation.

So I would say that you should apply for your visa anyway, and explain what happened. Or pretend you didn't know. The fact that you are now married to and have a child with a citizen of the states (I assume!) will count in your favour. But you should find out what your status is and attempt to correct it. If they see you are trying, it is much better than if they find out on their own.

You could also apply for a visa or greencard via a solicitor who specialises in immigration, who will be able to advise you on the legal consequences of what you are doing and will also let you know what your options are.

Hope this helps.

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I've been feeling hungry all the time lately. I'll eat lunch and feel really full, and then an hour later i'll feel hungry again. its really annoying. why could this be?

17/f

Are you putting on weight? If not, then you're probably... just hungry! But if you are putting on weight then it might be something else like a stomach ulcer that feels like hunger, or is alleviated when you eat something. It could also be fatigue - you tend to eat more when you are tired. You should probably visit your GP if you are concerned about it.

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Three weeks back i posted a question which i stated i suspected to have been exposed about 11 months back. However i went for an HIV test on that 11th month were i tested negative. I will be going for an HIV test with my girlfried this Saturday. Should i tell her what happend those months back. What if we are positive

See what your results are first. No need to bring it up unnecessarily.

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My husband to be and I are going on a romantic get away to Gatlinburg, and we're staying in this cute, romantic cabin for a few days.

I want a good tasting wine.
Nothing expensive; but a good price for the great taste.

Any ideas? I've never had any wine before, I'm usually a vodka, or wine cooler kind of woman, so any good ideas would be helpful.


Thanks.

It depends if you want red or white. If red, you're pretty safe with a cabernet sauvignon or maybe a shiraz. For white, go for a chardonnay or a pinot grigio. These are very popular wines, go well with food, and are fine to drink "young". Most wines will get more expensive the older they are.

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Hi,
I was in the shower today and a really runny red/brown (more red then brown) came out from my vagina... I cant tell if i just had my period...
Ask away if you need more info..

Your period will last a few days - what you had sounds like spotting http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metrorrhagia

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Im a 13 year old girl in a really confusing situation with a crush. It's a long story but I had a thought that if I told everyone in my classes that I liked him, maybe he would consider talking to me more. I don't have a full on crush becasue I like to get to know someone a little better but he seems pretty awesome. I know its pretty gutsy and I will hate myself for making me do this but I could if I really wanted to. Would it embarress him too much? He's a popular dude so he doesn't get that embarressed but still... Should I? Thanks.

No this isn't a good idea. Firstly he will get embarrassed that you told everyone, and he'll feel pressured into talking to you, so everything will feel forced. This isn't the way to open communications. Also, you'll probably get teased, or people will comment if they see the two of you talking together. Rather find ways to talk to him that seem natural, like you could chat to him about mutual classes, or you could sign up for any extra curricular activities that he participates in. Telling everyone your crush is a bad idea. Good luck.

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okay, long story short, i'm in a weird place right now with my boyfriend's sister, we used to be closer friends but i've distanced it because i've just been busy with work, trying to have a life with him and trying to go new places in my life and i've felt she was not one of the best people to bring along into it, there's been lots of issues with her. i understand she'll always be around, that's why i've kept it friendly and always will but now there's just this weirdness in the air with seeing eachother all the time, then not and being closer friends, then not.

but so the situation is is that we have lots of mutual friends and one of these friends asked me to go on a trip with her to see this band we both like and i said yes. now the weeks have gone by and i haven't informed my friend of this, i kinda feel bad, like i should but i honestly don't feel the need to tell anybody else, its just her (she'll get pissed she wasn't invited to something, like why did I get invited over her, etc.) i just try not to make her upset cause i don't want it to affect my boyfriend and i's relationship in any way (she's refused to speak to him for months when she hasn't liked a girl he's dated, etc.)

and since we no longer talk alot, very very casually, (i never talk to people on the phone) i haven't really had a way to bring it up to her without it sounding completely random and kind of "hey im shoving this in your face" cause the only thing i can think of right now is just to call her or text her and be like,"i just wanted to let you know im going here in two weeks with so and so, so you know." that just sounds/feels stupid.


should i even bother doing that, or just go and deal with the blows when i get back? i've thought about just telling her when i get back that i didn't want to sound rude and like i was throwing it in her face and wasn't sure how to tell her, so i didn't? help!

it drives me nuts that my boyfriend and everyone else could care less if i go or not, didn't even have to bother telling half of them, its only her.

No, don't go out of your way to tell her. It's very unlikely this will cause a problem with you and your boyfriend, no more than what she usually does anyway and he's probably used to her drama by now! It will sound weird if you tell her out of the blue you are going away for a couple of weeks. It's not like you tell all your not-so-good friends & acquaintances every time you book a trip.

Are you friends with her on Facebook? Maybe change your status to "excited about my trip with X to see Y" or whatever. Then at least the sister will know where you are, without there being a big confrontation about it.

Otherwise you might try dropping it into conversation without making the conversation JUST about your trip. Like mention you've bought a new top which you will wear while you're away and she'll be like "oh, you're going away?" and you can say "oh gosh didn't I tell you yet, I thought I told *everyone*!" etc etc. It's a bit underhanded but she might let you off :)

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So me and my boyfriend decided that we wanted to start jogging together after school, my question is how should I go about this? I am much faster than him and we went jogging once already, I had to slow down so he wouldn't be miles behind me but I still jogged in front of him. I don't know how I should really approach this, should I jog beside him or should I jog ahead of him and motivate him to work harder by being ahead (we are extremely competitive with each other, in a good but funny way)... I don't know, so what should I do?

If his fitness and speed aren't as good as yours yet, he's not going to like you pushing him into running harder than he is able to, and he will most likely get resentful and not want to run with you anymore. Remember how you were before you started running? You wouldn't have liked someone making you run faster when you weren't ready. If you are getting bored you could do some sprints, i.e. sprint ahead and then walk till he catches up. You wouldn't exactly be running together, but at least you would get a decent workout while he comes up to fitness. I'm sure he understands that you're at a higher level and need to get a bit more out of the session. If you are competitive in a good, funny way, challenge him to a race where he jogs and you power-walk? But make it fun for him. No pressure!

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I am a 21 year girl at college. I have the unusual problem of have an abnormally large appetite. I have always had a fast metabolism but I am also a competitive swimmer and tennis player. I sometime eat 7000+ calories in a day, but 6000 is more typical. Occasionally this puts me in awkward situations. Last Saturday my good friend and former roommate invited me to play soccer in her intramural league semifinals and then stay at her place. She picked me up right after swim practice an then we went to play three hours of soccer. By the time we finally had dinner at her place it was 5:00. I ate at least 2X what she did but as an old friend she didn't say anything. All I had to eat all day besides dinner was breakfast and a small sandwich for lunch. With 4 hours of swimming and 3 hours of soccer my stomach was hungry again by 9:00. She made me a large chicken salad and was surprised to see me eat it all with a couple apples and bananas. Some days my stomach really does seem abnormal and by 11:00 I was getting hungry again. I ate the last two apples while my friend said "Do you EVER stop eating? Where do you put it all?". When we were going to bed at 12:30AM I had to tell her "this is embarrassing but I really need a snack." She was annoyed and asked if it could wait until tomorrow. I said I was really pretty hungry. She watched me eat a couple of drumsticks and some other leftovers and was saying "How can you be hungry? Do you clean out every kitchen you see?" She made me scrambled eggs and warmed a couple of lean cuisine dinners. She was saying like "fine, eat eat eat, you're always eating. just eat everything, eat some more. Oh that's right it's your metabolism, OK well then just eat eat eat. still hungry? there's cereal in the cupboard don't forget that..." She was really annoyed and I was very embarrassed. She apologized the next day and I gave her some money for food. She didn't say much, was very business like, and dropped my at the BART station to go home (that was the original plan). I didn't feel like anything was resolved and I haven't talked to her since. (4 days ago) I don't know how to handle it. I don't want her to be mad at me. Should I pretend nothing happened? - that's what my instinct is. It is rare that my appetite really causes me trouble beyond mild embarrassment and this is the first time for anything like this.

You have done all you can do. You gave her money for the food, and she has apologised. You don't need to be embarrassed about how much you need to eat. As you said, you play a lot of sport. Michael Phelps consumes 12,000 calories a day! So you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Your friend may have issues with food, and she could be projecting those feelings onto you. Maybe she is constantly on diet, has a slow metabolism and therefore has to eat a tiny amount just so she doesn't put on weight. This would very likely make her annoyed with you, watching you eat so much without worrying about it. But this is her problem, not yours.

She must know how much you eat because she used to room with you! So put this down to her having a bad day, and don't mention it again. Act as normal, maybe take her out to lunch as a thank you for having you over. But don't mention how much you eat unless she does first. This type of thing should not get in the way of a good friendship - if it does, it might be time to re-examine that friendship.

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19/f I'm looking for suggestions and/or tips on how to lose weight. I'm 5'10 and the 230lbs (the last time I was weighed at the doctors which was months ago) I would really like to lose weight in my stomach area, my thighs, and my arms. I eat fruit everyday and water and pineapple juice is really all I drink. I attempted to start the Special K diet, but I've kind of given up on that. I also consume sweets all the time, its like a constant need, so any tips on how to curb my appetite would also be helpful. And exercises that I could do at home, I do go walking on the trail with my friend 2-4 times a week for about an hour. Thanks all suggestions and comments will be helpful

Don't start any special diets. Start to eat as you would if you were the weight you'd like to be, i.e. lots of vegetables (green leafy ones, not potatoes!), lean proteins (chicken, fish, turkey etc), good fats (avocado, nuts, olive oil) and complex carbs (beans, parsnips, carrots, quinoa, buckwheat etc). The more you eat to keep your blood sugar stable, the less likely you are to crave sweets all the time. Try to eat protein + fat in the morning to set you up for the day and curb those cravings.

Don't eat so much fruit - stick to 1-2 pieces of fruit a day max, and aim to eat darker skinned fruits like berries rather than things like apples or bananas. Aim to eliminate calories from your fluid intake, i.e. no more pineapple juice! Drink water and green tea or coffee instead.

You can exercise if you like but make sure it is something you enjoy so that you keep doing it. Your weight is based much more on your diet than your exercise. Walking with your friend sounds great. Try to keep your general activity up if you don't have a gym habit or a regular sport. That means "why drive when I can walk? Why take the elevator when I can use the stairs?" and all that other common sense stuff that will keep you moving throughout the day.

Remember that you can't spot-reduce fat, but losing fat overall will reduce the fat in your problem areas also. If you want to keep your muscle you can look into starting a weights program, but you will probably have to join a gym for this (unless you have the right equipment at home).

Hope this helps.

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i proposed a girl indicating 1 4 3. next day she also wrote same. and also thrown piece of paper in
it was written as 1 4 3 . what does it mean?

It means "I love you", where the 1, 4 and 3 represent the number of characters in each word.

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Me and my guy friend have lockout (no class) twice. each class is 1 hour and 8 minutes long, so that is about 2 hours and 20 we minutes we have together everyday.. does anyone have any suggestions on things to do? I don't want it to get boring really fast. We can't leave school, and we will work on homework if we have any, but we still have a lot of free time and i dont know what to do during it. any suggestions will help (:

We're 17.

Bring a pack of cards and play poker, or any other card game. Or get a set of Liar dice and learn to play http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liar%27s_dice, or use them to play Yahtzee http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahtzee

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Can I lose 20-25 pounds in less than 10 weeks if I eat healthy, 1200 calories and work out 1 hour everyday. I'm 5'5" and 145 pounds

20-25 pounds in less than 10 weeks is a big ask. To lose weight in a healthy sustainable way, without putting yourself in danger of overdoing it in the gym or developing eating disorders, you should aim to lose 1lb per week. Any more than that is asking for trouble.

Weight training will give you more bang for your buck in terms of fat loss and metabolism, so focus on that rather than endless cardio sessions.

As for calories, figure out what your daily requirement is according to the Harris Benedict equation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harris-Benedict_equation, and aim to eat 500 calories less than that per day. Take measurements before you start, then after a week measure again and reassess your caloric needs, adjusting up or down as necessary. Don't forget to include a carb refeed once a week to keep your metabolism ticking over.

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I'm 22 M and 250lbs. My skinniest weight (while I was working out) was 198lbs in June 2010. I feel, look and am fat. Problem is I have little to no idea what I was doing when I lost all that weight. What I'm looking for is a workout regime that I can stick with, one that works and works well. People with a first hand account on these regimes will be given highest priority but all advice will be looked at and rated as to how helpful it is.

Thanks everyone,
Gateway01

There is literally tons of information out there on this subject, but I will summarise:

1. Your fat loss will come down to your diet much more than your workout regime. Use the Harris Benedict Equation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harris-Benedict_equation to figure out your daily caloric requirements, and then aim to eat under that by 250-500 calories per day. Take measurements regularly so you know whether to adjust your calories up or down.

Some pointers for dieting:
- Eat lots of vegetables
- Keep your good fats (nuts, avocado, olive oil etc), eating 1 or 2 portions per day
- Eat plenty of lean proteins: chicken, turkey, fish etc
- Avoid processed carbs and sugar
- Don't drink alcohol, soda or fruit juice - all your fluids should be very low or no calories

2. Endless cardio is a false economy, it will only make you hungry and retain fat on your stomach and thighs. Rather look into doing weights 3-4 times per week and incorporate high intensity (interval)/tabata-style training for 15 mins at the end of your weights sessions. Both of these will help you to build muscle and increase the "afterburn" effect, meaning you have a higher metabolic rate and will burn fat faster. As for particular workouts, there are plenty online such as Stronglifts 5x5. It may be an idea to speak to a personal trainer who can help you out with form and give you programs to follow.

3. Get lots of rest

4. Drink lots of water

At the end of the day, the best workout is one you will stick to, so if you are not someone who enjoys going to gym, then start walking, play basketball, or even start a dance class with your fiance. Find something you like to do, and do it! Exercise may feel difficult at first but if you push through the first few tough sessions, you will love it!

Be realistic about your goals and don't overdo it. Join a forum online where you can get advice and support from likeminded people. I would advise a training forum over a dieting forum.

Use online resources to help you with your diet, like http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ or http://www.fitday.com/ to keep track of your calories and macronutrients.

Keep your goals in mind, maybe stick up pictures of your ideal body in your room to keep you motivated. Start a countdown calendar where you mark off days until your wedding. Take "Before" photos so you can see how far you have come. No really, do this! You will appreciate these photos when you are close to your goal.

Don't get discouraged if you have an off day. Make sure whatever your motivator is, it is big enough to get you through the tough times. Good luck!

If you want to know my background: I lost 55lbs in 2010 and have now started working on body recomposition (building muscle while losing fat). I have had personal trainers advise me about diet and exercise weekly since January 2010.

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There is a virtual world I found that didnt work when I was trying to sign up and I want to try again but I can't remember the name and cant find the website anywhere! I know it has the word paper in the name and you can make families on it. The colors on the website were pretty bright and colorful. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Thanks.

Papermint? http://www.papermint.com/

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Hi I'm 21/f looking to go on a no/low carb diet for a week or so. Nearly all I eat is carbs. Lots of pasta and bread and sugars. Not much fruit and veg. I'm not very good at cooking and also I am a vegetarian but I don't like lentils or
Tofu etc. I will not eat any meat or fish but I will eat eggs, milk etc. I don't know where to start. I have no idea what to eat to go on this diet and google isn't helping. Can anyone give me any ideas?
Thanks so much

Fill up on vegetables, make yourself big salads and drizzle them with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. No cooking involved - all you need to do is chop! You will need to get protein from somewhere, I would suggest beans which can also be added to your salad, but if that is too many carbs for you then try all cheeses. Cottage cheese could also easily be stirred into a salad.

You can make yourself a "no bread sandwich" which would be all your usual sandwich ingredients, but instead of bread you put it between cabbage leaves. You could make a stirfry easily, which is also just chopping everything up and then frying it quickly in a wok or a pot. Or, after frying add some stock and simmer for 20 mins then blend with a stick blender - voila, you now have soup/stew. Again you could add chickpeas or beans to this for protein and/or texture but it depends how strict you are being with carbs.

For sweet things, eat fruit on its own, or you could add it to plain yoghurt. You could also add cinnamon, vanilla essence, a tsp of hot chocolate - whatever takes your fancy - and blend into a thick smoothie.

For snacks on the go, try nuts, which are high in protein and fat and will keep you fuller for longer.

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